View Full Version : The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
nattyfetish
06-16-2020, 11:13 PM
I'm going to apologize in advance for how long this post is...
KatM, you aren't alone in this struggle & I can relate in many senses. When people say "oh but you're so young"...
https://66.media.tumblr.com/5ccec825f8c175c71e6077e07fa599ff/tumblr_inline_nufgxwKwE31tv3ypn_400.gifv
i had to teach myself (and still have to remind myself occasionally) that other people's opinions mean very very little when they can't live in your human suit for a day. Invisible illnesses and chronic pain are hard enough to deal with on their own without the judgement of others and most of the time it's nievity and sheer thoughtlessness on their part, not so much malintent. they simply do not realize that their offhanded remark cuts so freaking deep when your body is betraying you. Oh and something I do if the person is actually being rude/trying to make you feel badly on purpose is either immediately walk away without another word or, if you're feeling up to it, make them extremely uncomfortable by simply telling them the truth. Usually they aren't expecting you to put on a big smile, make eye contact, and cheerfully say something like "Yeah I'm young, but 3 days last week i was bedridden and threw up multiple times because i was in so much pain! Doctors don't usually believe me or have no idea what's actually wrong with me so i'm consistently under medicated, retested for stuff i clearly don't have, and I have doors slammed in my face because of it. A few nights per week I even wake my partner and myself up at night because the pain is so excruciating that I start screaming in my sleep. being young is so much fun!" the look of horror, confusion, discomfort, and genuine speachlessness on their faces is a great convo ender and a perfect point to walk off. surprisingly I've found that if it's someone I have to talk to again (like a family member), without fail they either apologize or never bring it up again. People who are rude on purpose never expect the already hurting person that they've gone out of their way to kick while down to stand up for themself. Either way I figure they have done some reflection on the convo and will probably think twice before treating you or another chronically ill/hurt person the same way.
Sometimes camming is extremely depressing, especially if you're a competitive person on the inside. I like to tease that I'm a workaholic stuck in a chronically ill body... but it's the truth! I desperately wish I could have 20% more consistently good days so I could get done 100% more. for a long time it felt like I was stuck in a hole of despair that I didn't dig & had no way out of. It fucking sucks knowing that you're probably not going to get a contest bonus or an hours worked bonus because 20+ hours on cam in under a week feels like being asked to climb a mountain without enough gear. The hopelessness was all consuming at times. It takes a very strong person to be chronically ill and/or in pain. But the combo of being a competitive person and ill does make you extremely resilient!
I'll sound like a broken record, but diversifying is key. Relying on one or two sources of income when you regularly have days where you really can't work just isn't an option because realistically we can't work 10 hour days, 5-7 days per week. It's REALLY hard not to compare yourself to someone who can do those things and is a top model on your site and makes their living off one or two sites.
The first year I was really ill, I beat myself up constantly over this & ended up just making myself sicker & taking a huge financial hit because I was desperately trying to make it work that way. The next year I started diversifying like a mad woman because the bills were stacking up and I could not stay in the hole any longer. I signed up for like 3 texting sites, because if I couldn't get out of bed, at the very least I knew I could text and send sexy pics that i'd taken days or weeks ago when I did have energy. I signed up for a bunch of indie sites that I could use at the same time and got a tablet to run skype/discord on because on the days i had energy but couldn't comfortably sit/stand in one place for an extended period of time, I would then have the freedom to be anywhere in my house semi-comfortably until someone actually wanted a show & would then just have to be in my office until the show ends (then it's back to w/e the most comfortable spot in my house is lol). I started not posting a schedule because I knew deep down that there was no way i could actually commit to it and instead worked whenever I could... as a result, I build up at least a few regulars at different times throughout the day. I got on a load of clip/content sites and started making more fetish videos and photo sets of things I had to do anyways or were easier on my condition or simple to edit... because while naked dishwashing or vacuuming or putting on my makeup or dying my hair or drinking a soda or burping or trying on clothes or literally flipping off the camera and ignoring it for 10 minutes probably isn't going to pay all my bills on it's own, I know that even if each video sells a few times on this site and that I'm still making SOME money and potentially have the ability to make a few bucks even on days where i'm stuck in bed with the curtains closed not doing a damn thing except taking care of myself. On days that my legs hurt or can only commit to lower energy activities (like watching tv in bed) I get on a few phone sex sites, then edit & queue content between calls. I started pushing custom clips and gave myself a longer time frame to complete them. on live stream sites, I run multiple whenever I could. Hell, I even sold clean outfits from photo sets/clips and autographed pictures at a profit. Most importantly, when I had a really bad day or string of days where I could not work at all, I straight up didn't and focused on myself/feeling better. Is juggling so many things a pain in the ass? absolutely. Am I ever going to be top cam model on a single site? Probably not. Does it make taxes way more difficult? yep. Did I make money on every site I tried out? nope. But at the end of that year my earnings were substantially higher than any year i'd ever had sick or well and continue to only increase. I'm still learning, trying out new sites and am far from perfect... but now i have so many more avenues of revenue that I do not have to worry as much financially or drag myself on cam if i can't.
Idk if this has helped anyone & if it hasn't, I'm really sorry for the novel... but I want people to know that even if you have limitations due to your health, you can still be very successful in your own way.
Oh caramel, you said lots of things which are on my mind. I was having a mini panick attack minutes ago as i logged in an hour late because I had to take my pills and put some ear drops for an ear infection I got (10 min/ear; 2 types of drops..20-30 min just for fuckin ear drops).
I wanted to reply so KatM and you know that youa re not alone in this. I am 28 and I take already 11 pills per day. Pills I must take for the rest of my life (the number might vary due to blood tests but still). Imagine getting an extra illness on top, imagine having to take 20 pills per day. Well, I will tell you how that is, I took one of my antibiotic pills 6 h late cause i fuckin forgotttt (now i have an ear infection on top, that's why).
I identify as a workahloic in a chronically ill body as caramel says lol. I want to work so badly MORE but unfortunately my body won't let me. I tried once and my body crashed. Now I work around 7 h per day, my goal is 8 buttttttttttttttttttttttt !
I find it the hardest when i have other problems in my life as anxiety appears, creeps up & reminds me of everything that is wrong with me.
I push trough, I try to watch motivational videos & remind myself I can manage these health problmes, there are worse out there. Don't get me wrong, I do not belittle what happens with me but i try to remember what I am greatfull for in my life. Sometimes it does not work, ometimes I feel the mental presusurre but it's ok, it's ok not to be ok.
I recently found out of clips and phone sex. Woo, if I knew about this years ago lol! At least now I know what to do when I feel bad, more eggs is the receipe !!!
Ty ladies, Ty Caramel and Natty for chiming in, ur input is highly appreciated and makes me feel i am not alone in this, i hug u all who suffer and fights to make a living in the industry even is soo difficult with such health conditions.
I forgot to tell about the nasty menopause effects i have since 2017 when i had hysterectomy surgery, the sweating and body temperature fluctuations are hard to manage on top of everything and they dont seem to go away even after 3 years, before i was dealing with extremely heavy flows and now i deal with menopause effects, great!!! NOT!!
But i thank god every single day for not having that nasty periods anymore, i feel soo free without it!
And u know what? Every time i feel not well i thank god and the universe i dont have to go to a vanilla job, every time is too cold, too hot or too rainy i thank god i can work from at home and with this pandemic i also felt fortunate compared to others who lost their jobs and have no money for bills and food.
What can i say? Luckily i am alive and able to move around here even is difficult (i need to loose weight asap, i put on weight during the lock down), others cant move at all, others have deadly disease, i dont know what tomorrow will bring but today i am here able to talk to u ladies and share our pieces of life on this forum. God bless you all!
ETA: just for the record i am not a typical religious person, i just believe in creation, if i say 'thank god for xyz' or say 'God bless u all' it's a personal way of talking; maybe some people who dont believe in creation might be disturbed by my way of talking but that's just me, i dont want to edit the text and take all related phrases out.
IvyRose
07-14-2020, 05:08 AM
Hey girls! How well put, a workaholic in a chronically ill body.
Ive been dealing with rheumatic pain for years (diagnosed with bechterew and artritis in lower back), luckily pain is really low on most days right now
(following a anti inflammatory diet for years now; which means for me lowest starch possible, lowest refined sugar possible, so no bread, pasta potatoes etc... lots of fresh veggies and fruits and meat. ) it helped me a lot with the pain, together with 1.5 year long therapy from a ortho moleculair therapist.
Was taking the max medicine from hospital before , was actively taking less and have been medicine free since 2019 (not without pain, but taking those meds every day for 4+ years was making my body ill too... )
Since i left my ex (been together 13 years), sold the house to him and left to another country, my stress has been going down a Lot. I left last september, and my pain and inflammations have been going down and stayed very low compared to before. Its hard to have some good friends not that nearby anymore and offcourse it was very hard to leave such a long relationship behind (even though it was not working anymore) but i am happy i did it.
Right now i am trying to rest and keep myself from doing to much since I had a surgery (third this year).
First one was in februari for removal of myoom from uturus. (Myoom was pressing on my blatter, which caused blatterpain and not being able to hold up the pee for long, swelling of stomach, also blatterinfections and stomachpain in general). They took it out with a larascopic surgery (incission in bellybutton and three on lowest part belly)
Two weeks back another one in uturus since they found out i had prestage cancer, cyn3 (high degree, gyneagologist told me it was almost cancer, so i was Lucky they discovered it in time)
And last week another operation for the prestage cancer bec they had to take out a bigger part than normally , so same operation to take out more tissue
Feeling really grateful that they were in time and that it wasnt cancer yet.
Its hard to sit still and not to worry about finances. Luckily i have a (new) partner that is able and willing to take care of us both now that i am in a healingperiod. I still feel really bad aboit taking so much time off, and potentially losing regulars (esp the ones on Skype would influence my income highly)
Gyneacologist told me to take it slow and prevend bloodpressure rising since it can cause bleedings. So no stess, no workouts and obviously no sex (after uturus surgery).... the pain after the last 2 surgeries is not that high though, so that makes it kinda hard to just relax and lay around and take things slow
IvyRose
07-14-2020, 07:03 AM
Was hoping to stay out of this circle of:
taking time off for health-
Finances stopping and being forced to work harder again when starting bec of Burning through savings/money for rent and monthly recurring costs. Putting in extra hours for building up clientèle again-
Getting sick again or burnt out bec of investing energy other than healing and bec of the stress it gives me and irritation to deal with a sick/ill body
I guess iam still stuck in the circle right now. It can become so draining being in it for years.
Esp if the time off work and "vacationtime" due to being ill/having chronic pain is time spend on resting/healing/sleeping and other than healingtime you have no real joyfull vacation time or anything other than laying on the bed, resting on couch bec doing other things is to much energy to spend (and also burning through money in sick periods or on medication/therapy which makes it sometimes impossible to save money for fun stuff)
I personally need to work on my frustration/stress level , and ressentment to my own body. Bec this is the only thing i can personally change, the rest is not in my hands (having pain or getting ill, other than trying to live healthy.... but as we all know sometimes this is not enough, and it will come regardless)
And i guess i need to work on acceptment that i need to give my body time to recover (also if its allready taking so long, all ill periods combined) and that i cannot do what i would love to do (working multiple shift, working more than really parttime) and build up instead of burn out
^^^ I feel for you, i also feel my body betrays me :(
I need to see a rheumatologist soon cause i feel my muscle pain has something to do with a muscle disease; i recently started to take something for menopause (natural supplement) and i can feel it eases my muscle pain so i figure out there must be a chronic illness or syndrome regarding my muscles, i am like this since i know myself but was thinking 'it's just the way i am', now i hope it's something that could be treated to ease the pain so i'll go for a check up soon.
All the best and good health i wish u Ivy!
izshadow
07-15-2020, 12:40 PM
Crazy how I can look back on my FB memories and see photos of how freaking active I was and how I went out and willingly did things. Just looking at those photos and statuses exhaust me. Hell even just a freaking shower can now knock me on my ass.
caramelcraze
07-26-2020, 11:21 PM
Has anyone here switched from adderall to provigil before? If so, what was your experience?
I've been on adderall for like 9 months or so and it has negatively impacted my energy levels compared to where they were on ritalin (which i sadly can no longer tolerate at a therapeutic level). I can focus fairly well, but if i don't catch the dosage timing & resulting crash *just* right, I have to sleep plus the energy levels i have when the dose is working aren't nearly as good as they were. Had a prescription for provigil a few years ago, but it wasn't covered by my insurance and the out of pocket price at the time was close to $400 which i couldn't afford monthly. I've since switched insurers and it's now covered, but my new dr won't prescribe anything stronger than heart burn medication it seems so I'm planning on going back to the dr who initially prescribed provigil in hopes that he will be willing to taper me off the adderall and put me on it. I have a fairly high goal to meet in the next two months, so sleeping 12hrs + a nap isn't really something i have the luxury of doing atm.
being chronically ill and trying to work full time is a pain.
izshadow
07-27-2020, 10:46 AM
I dropped like half a page from not being able to sign in everyday and keep my earnings up. I'm noticing the hit in earnings. I hate not having the energy and it simply feels like I dont have the time with everything else going on around me. But I'm trying to remember the positive. I would never be able to work outside the home and I am grateful for what I am able to do. Just wish I could do more. I'm tired of not being able to do more and more can even mine the simplicity of taking my dogs for a walk or getting coffee with a friend. I just cant.....
caramelcraze
09-28-2020, 11:16 AM
Finally got off adderall which i've been taking for adhd/Fibromyalgia related fatigue & switched to Vyvanse. Dear lord, do I wish it had been the first thing i'd tried instead of the 4 other things i've been on in the past 18 months which have all been garbage. It's more expensive but for the first time in 2 years, I can stay awake 14+ hrs per day... and that alone makes me want to cry tears of joy. It's amazing how much more productive you are when you don't have to plan you day around sporadic energy & sleeping constantly. Finally been able to deal with some irl stuff i've been putting off, keep my place almost as clean as I used to pre illness, and begin to start working again after months of only being able to put in an hour here or 3 there.
I'm going to attempt my first 40hr big box site cam week next week after I catch up on a bunch of customs this week. Haven't had the energy to do that and keep a schedule in so long... I am terribly excited to be able to do more again. It's nice to be back in the saddle after being so fucking limited for so very long. I'm still dealing with moderate day to day pain, but figured out what was triggering most of the severe pain flares and have changed/avoided those things which has helped immensely.
I do have a question for anyone willing to share: Is anyone else on a very strict or restrictive diet due to their illness? How do you manage it?
I've had to cut out processed sugar, most yeasty things, all animal products, alcohol, and most nightshades. Have a hard time basically having to cook most things myself. Don't get me wrong, I love cooking but I was a total foodie and very adventurous eater before and now I just feel horribly limited which has wind of taken the wind out of my culinary sails. The cravings for crap I can't eat & being forced to plan all meals or bring my own food when i go somewhere is getting so very very old.
izshadow
09-29-2020, 11:54 AM
I do have a question for anyone willing to share: Is anyone else on a very strict or restrictive diet due to their illness? How do you manage it?
I've had to cut out processed sugar, most yeasty things, all animal products, alcohol, and most nightshades. Have a hard time basically having to cook most things myself. Don't get me wrong, I love cooking but I was a total foodie and very adventurous eater before and now I just feel horribly limited which has wind of taken the wind out of my culinary sails. The cravings for crap I can't eat & being forced to plan all meals or bring my own food when i go somewhere is getting so very very old.
Ugh this is the hardest for me. When I ate organic and cut out the trash I felt amazing, even dropped dramatically in the amount of over the counter pain pills I was taking. But I cant afford organic and I'm in to much pain and to exhausted to actually cook. I need super fast and super easy and something that requires very little thought. Its like a catch 22. I would love to eat healthier but I physically can not stand in the kitchen and do it.
Sweet_Sadie
10-02-2020, 03:56 PM
Finally got off adderall which i've been taking for adhd/Fibromyalgia related fatigue & switched to Vyvanse. Dear lord, do I wish it had been the first thing i'd tried instead of the 4 other things i've been on in the past 18 months which have all been garbage. It's more expensive but for the first time in 2 years, I can stay awake 14+ hrs per day... and that alone makes me want to cry tears of joy. It's amazing how much more productive you are when you don't have to plan you day around sporadic energy & sleeping constantly.
Hi, I can relate. I'm not on meds, but my ailments control me. So much so, I've had to wave the white flag on traditional work. I can't do cam because I suck at it, and I can't do it consistently enough. So I'm getting into phones. At least I can do it in bed. I can't think of any other job where I can do it laying in bed (Unless I buy one of those over the bed desks where you can put your laptop or mobile devices on it).
My anxiety is truly making me kinda nuts. I feel kinda weird that I can actually just lay down (if I want to or need to), and rest my body while I make money and wait for calls to come in. Weird, huh? I'm just used to being at a desk, stressed out AF.
Anyway, I relate to the Fibro fog and pain. I'm glad that you found something that's giving you your life back. BTW, has your doc spoken to you about possible immunity issues with the pandemic?
Sweet_Sadie
10-02-2020, 03:59 PM
Another thing about things to take that possibly help: I don't do meds, but I've been drinking matcha tea (Japanese powdered green tea). That one gives me energy, but it feels different than caffeinated coffee (which I don't drink). Coffee makes me a jittery mess, but the matcha opens up my brain. It gives me a good lift. And it's healthy.
The only thing, it pulls away body water, so I have to remember to drink plain water through the day. Also, I don't drink matcha at night. I'm caffeine sensitive.
caramelcraze
10-03-2020, 07:13 PM
Hi, I can relate. I'm not on meds, but my ailments control me. So much so, I've had to wave the white flag on traditional work. I can't do cam because I suck at it, and I can't do it consistently enough. So I'm getting into phones. At least I can do it in bed. I can't think of any other job where I can do it laying in bed (Unless I buy one of those over the bed desks where you can put your laptop or mobile devices on it).
My anxiety is truly making me kinda nuts. I feel kinda weird that I can actually just lay down (if I want to or need to), and rest my body while I make money and wait for calls to come in. Weird, huh? I'm just used to being at a desk, stressed out AF.
Anyway, I relate to the Fibro fog and pain. I'm glad that you found something that's giving you your life back. BTW, has your doc spoken to you about possible immunity issues with the pandemic?
No, she hasn’t. Have had bloodwork done and it all says my immune system is fine. That being said, I have been basically in isolation since the pandemic started. Don’t leave the house except to grab meds, walk the dogs, or visiting my parents. The way I see it is my health is already a dumpster fire of disaster so knowing my luck, if I were to get COVID, I’d have complications. Pretty sure I Already have CFS and the people I’ve talked to who also have it and ended up with COVID now have worse baseline energy levels. Not worth the risk to me. I can’t afford to be bedridden again; mentally, physically, or financially.
I do take supplements religiously for immune health regardless (dr approved of course). Idk how well they work since I haven’t been in contact with anyone Ill since starting, but better safe than sorry I suppose. They did get rid of a skin issue I was having so I’m just going to continue sticking to them.
Sweet_Sadie
10-04-2020, 01:11 PM
I have been basically in isolation since the pandemic started. Don’t leave the house except to grab meds, walk the dogs, or visiting my parents. The way I see it is my health is already a dumpster fire of disaster so knowing my luck, if I were to get COVID, I’d have complications ... and the people I’ve talked to who also have it and ended up with COVID now have worse baseline energy levels. Not worth the risk to me.
^^^ This right here. I'm already the most homebodied person I know, but unless I'm taking out trash to the dumpster or grabbing provisions, I'm in the apartment like someone on house arrest. And it's starting to cool off outside, so I'm really starting to lose my patience with this, but there's too many people outside jogging and running without masks (HUFF PUFF!!!).
I've been slacking off on my supplements this week, but I've got to get back on top of things. It's time to go to the store again, and cold and flu season is upon us. Yike!
izshadow
10-05-2020, 12:59 PM
I'm so over these migraines. I pushed myself to hard the past couple days to get everything done so I could focus on camming Monday and Tuesday. But nooooooooooooooo!!!!! Have to wake up with a freaking migraine, as usual. And nothing I do to fix it, touches it so I just suffer till it feels like going away.
laurielegs
12-05-2020, 02:34 AM
Keeping up with membership sites has been rough when I have days or weeks I dont feel well enough to work.
I have no idea why it never occurred to me to schedule posts on membership sites like onlyfans to cover months at a time. Was reading what Erikaecstasy does with the six month schedule in advance (to release every 48 hours) on onlyfans.
I'm definitely going to follow that plan now, doing it all in one day scheduled out inh advance on a day when I feel really good and have energy. I dont think I can do 6 months at once but I think can do at least a couple weeks or month at a time, every few days releasing a video or a photo.
Miss_ShaSha
12-05-2020, 06:34 AM
Keeping up with membership sites has been rough when I have days or weeks I dont feel well enough to work.
I have no idea why it never occurred to me to schedule posts on membership sites like onlyfans to cover months at a time. Was reading what Erikaecstasy does with the six month schedule in advance (to release every 48 hours) on onlyfans.
I'm definitely going to follow that plan now, doing it all in one day scheduled out inh advance on a day when I feel really good and have energy. I dont think I can do 6 months at once but I think can do at least a couple weeks or month at a time, every few days releasing a video or a photo.
I'm sorry to hear it gets that hard for you. I feel this tho as I have derealization episodes every 6-8 days usually and it's really difficult to work. I still do, but it's such a struggle.
Great idea tho. Perfect workaround.
Esixxx
12-05-2020, 08:33 AM
Keeping up with membership sites has been rough when I have days or weeks I dont feel well enough to work.
I have no idea why it never occurred to me to schedule posts on membership sites like onlyfans to cover months at a time. Was reading what Erikaecstasy does with the six month schedule in advance (to release every 48 hours) on onlyfans.
I'm definitely going to follow that plan now, doing it all in one day scheduled out inh advance on a day when I feel really good and have energy. I dont think I can do 6 months at once but I think can do at least a couple weeks or month at a time, every few days releasing a video or a photo.
I understand this struggle.
One of the tips that was in "90 days and Paid" was to have a regular shooting and content schedule and shoot an extra one or two extra pieces of content to have it ready in advance
Hi ladies, i have a question for u here pls, if anyone can relate: does any of u takes the supplement called 5-HTP Harmony? It's for feeling good mentally, has B complex vitamins, Magnesium, few other components that help immune system, etc.
I am off antidepressants for a couple months now and was feeling good but recently i started to feel anxious and depressed especially cause work is extremely slow and this is always a trigger for me.
So i went to the pharmacy and asked for something to help me and she gave me this product, i came home and took a pill right away only to find out after i read the prospect that is not to be taken by people with hypothyroidism like myself, bummer!
Is not a cheap product so i went back to ask what to do with it as i have this particular tyro issue and they said i can take less than 3 pills per day, maybe one or two and if the antidepressants i took before did not affect my thyroid this product should not do it either.
My issue is, since i started to take it (one day i took two pills, the next took two, the 3rd day i took one pill) its giving me migraines. I mean i had no migraine before starting to take the pill.
You guys think i should keep taking the supplement and maybe the body/ brain gets used to it and the migraines go away or i should stop taking it and go see my doc and ask her?
I avoided to go to my family doc cause there are patients potentially infected with covid and i rather not be near them, that's why i went to the pharmacy directly and asked for something to help.
From what i read on the prospect this 5-HTP Harmony has a lot of benefits including it helps with the cravings for sweet (this really works, i dont like the sweet taste anymore) and many other benefits that help, i wish to keep taking it but i am not sure what is up with the migraines i get and how could affect my hypothyroidism.
Thank you in advance for input xxx
whirlerz
12-06-2020, 07:05 AM
@KatM:
OMG, please stop taking it, NOW!
Migraines, that's bad, it could be jacking up your blood pressure!
Try this site:. https://organicpharmacy.com/
There's a different site, the organic pharmacy.com, it's mostly skin care, but the do carry supplements too.
I'm not sure how this is but try it:
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/45-wellness-products-cult-following-060000377.html
You got to be really careful w/all of this stuff, natural, organic, or w/ev.
If you've hyperthyroidism, it can make it worse. I have that as well.
Try http://www.beautyhabit.com
It's beauty products but also some wellness
indiegirl
12-06-2020, 07:25 AM
Has anyone here switched from adderall to provigil before? If so, what was your experience?
I've been on adderall for like 9 months or so and it has negatively impacted my energy levels compared to where they were on ritalin (which i sadly can no longer tolerate at a therapeutic level). I can focus fairly well, but if i don't catch the dosage timing & resulting crash *just* right, I have to sleep plus the energy levels i have when the dose is working aren't nearly as good as they were. Had a prescription for provigil a few years ago, but it wasn't covered by my insurance and the out of pocket price at the time was close to $400 which i couldn't afford monthly. I've since switched insurers and it's now covered, but my new dr won't prescribe anything stronger than heart burn medication it seems so I'm planning on going back to the dr who initially prescribed provigil in hopes that he will be willing to taper me off the adderall and put me on it. I have a fairly high goal to meet in the next two months, so sleeping 12hrs + a nap isn't really something i have the luxury of doing atm.
being chronically ill and trying to work full time is a pain.
My mother put me on adderall forcibly as a teen. Helped in school ADHD but I have major problems from it let alone in the gym (we don't have one in cali I believe open due to covid.). I can only use certain equipment at the gym (back when it was open)or else my heart races too much to a point of concern. When I came off it, I was sleeping 16 hours a day. It is so embarrassing. It is not worth it. I've heard of strattera, vyvanse, and concerta. Adderall is legal speed.
whirlerz
12-06-2020, 07:36 AM
I've been on stuff for add, (a.d.d adult) Idr what tho, sorry.
Made me hyper but also spacey
indiegirl
12-06-2020, 07:49 AM
I've been on stuff for add, (adam adult) Idr what tho, sorry.
Made me hyper but also spacey
what's adam adult? I googled it and got adam & eve lol!!
anyways,
is that adult add?
@KatM:
OMG, please stop taking it, NOW!
Migraines, that's bad, it could be jacking up your blood pressure!
Try this site:. https://organicpharmacy.com/
There's a different site, the organic pharmacy.com, it's mostly skin care, but the do carry supplements too.
I'm not sure how this is but try it:
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/45-wellness-products-cult-following-060000377.html
You got to be really careful w/all of this stuff, natural, organic, or w/ev.
If you've hyperthyroidism, it can make it worse. I have that as well.
Try http://www.beautyhabit.com
It's beauty products but also some wellness
Ty for ur message, i stopped taking them (did not get any today) and gave them to my son, see if he finds them good as he is anxious too.
Today i went out to the mall and to another pharmacy and talked to a pharmacist that was very nice and helpful, i explained my situation and he said some products simply dont help us/ dont do us good, he said this specific product can give headaches/ migraine because is working on the serotonin levels so it might be too much for my brain having lower levels of serotonin normally.
No kidding my head was pulsating, i felt it in the front side, above the eye brows and to the sides, very possible it increased my blood pressure in the brain.
Not feeling headache today like in the last days, just a little pressure from tiredness.
Ty again for input xxx
whirlerz
12-06-2020, 12:31 PM
Ooh, you're welcome!
Seriously, I was concerned, especially after what you just wrote.
Throw them away! Ty.
It seems possible to have a stroke under those conditions.
(You can have a stroke at any age, altho age 50+ risk increases. Certain things can bump it up too)
whirlerz
12-06-2020, 12:32 PM
what's adam adult? I googled it and got adam & eve lol!!
anyways,
is that adult add?
Sorry auto Mis-correct! Adult a.d.d
indiegirl
12-06-2020, 01:00 PM
Sorry auto Mis-correct! Adult a.d.d
Thanks for the correct. ADD and ADHD is such a struggle. It's hard to have a stable job too having it. I hope you make a lot :).
Hoping the nursing route works out for me.
All we can do is push forward despite the BS life throws at us :)
caramelcraze
12-06-2020, 03:42 PM
My mother put me on adderall forcibly as a teen. Helped in school ADHD but I have major problems from it let alone in the gym (we don't have one in cali I believe open due to covid.). I can only use certain equipment at the gym (back when it was open)or else my heart races too much to a point of concern. When I came off it, I was sleeping 16 hours a day. It is so embarrassing. It is not worth it. I've heard of strattera, vyvanse, and concerta. Adderall is legal speed.
yeah coming off it was rough. Had withdrawals for a week. Ended up on vyvanse and tbh I wish that i had been put on it from the off. It works super well for me and I'm not passing out. I can stay up 14+ hours per day and focus the entire time on things other than constant pain which is a first for me in almost 3 years. plus my sleep quality is substantially better now. It's expensive and my insurance wont cover it, but I would much rather pay out of pocket for something that actually works and allows me to do my job than stay on something that doesn't work at all and makes me come to a crashing sleep constantly. Being on adderall was a hellish experience for me.
izshadow
12-17-2020, 12:11 AM
I've been forced to cam so much this week and even more so since SM is just simply a ghost town. I literally had to throw myself offline to throw up. I'm in so much pain. So much fucking pain. I feel so freaking sick. I'm so stressed and worried and wish I could just do PSO work and live life that way on my couch but I have to toss camming in and with how horrible it has been, I dont know what to do. I have pushed myself past my breaking point and now I want to just curl up and die. I fucking hate having Fibro and Lupus and other issues. I've even been in menopause for a year which is just horrible! I dont know how people live like this! Its so hard! And I dont have anyone but me! My dad refuses to even acknowledge it and he lives in another state. And like thats all I have. I dont even have friends check in on me. Like nothing!
^^^ I feel for you, it must be soo hard, i know how hard depression and anxiety is for me, pls take care of urself the best u can, wish u all the best xxx
This work is really difficult for some of us. Be well!
nattyfetish
12-19-2020, 02:21 AM
I've been forced to cam so much this week and even more so since SM is just simply a ghost town. I literally had to throw myself offline to throw up. I'm in so much pain. So much fucking pain. I feel so freaking sick. I'm so stressed and worried and wish I could just do PSO work and live life that way on my couch but I have to toss camming in and with how horrible it has been, I dont know what to do. I have pushed myself past my breaking point and now I want to just curl up and die. I fucking hate having Fibro and Lupus and other issues. I've even been in menopause for a year which is just horrible! I dont know how people live like this! Its so hard! And I dont have anyone but me! My dad refuses to even acknowledge it and he lives in another state. And like thats all I have. I dont even have friends check in on me. Like nothing!
I wanna hug you so tight ! Are you bale to take at least a day off ? Just for yourself, to lay in bed, do a wamr bath, drink hot chocolatte ? It sounds like you need it & let me tell you this: members can tell when you feel bad (and therefor you lack privates). Do you have a treatment ? I wish I was closer so I can help & check on you ! You are strong ! Oh, menopause, mom was trough it and evetually all her body went back a "normal". If it makes you feel better (she was gaining weight evan tough she barely ate & this year she simply went back to her normal weight without doing anything ; to give you an ex).
amber2368
12-22-2020, 09:57 AM
I am bipolar and am on disability...I just started camming since august and just do it part time and as much as my mental state will allow..now social security has sent me a letter wanting to know all the details of my income saying that they may not qualify me as disabled anymore...I know that u can earn up to 1000 and so a month and still get it.I am worried...I take medicine which is hundreds of dollars without the medicare that the disability affords me,and I will be hospitalized without it.
tiffany_twisted
12-28-2020, 07:38 PM
I am bipolar and am on disability...I just started camming since august and just do it part time and as much as my mental state will allow..now social security has sent me a letter wanting to know all the details of my income saying that they may not qualify me as disabled anymore...I know that u can earn up to 1000 and so a month and still get it.I am worried...I take medicine which is hundreds of dollars without the medicare that the disability affords me,and I will be hospitalized without it.
Good luck <3 I'm bipolar as well and the struggle to exist is really hard and the medication can be soooo expensive (I used to be on Latuda and that was ridiculous). Is the government telling you that you won't qualify anymore because you're camming? Or because they think you're going to earn more than $1000?
amber2368
12-28-2020, 07:48 PM
Good luck <3 I'm bipolar as well and the struggle to exist is really hard and the medication can be soooo expensive (I used to be on Latuda and that was ridiculous). Is the government telling you that you won't qualify anymore because you're camming? Or because they think you're going to earn more than $1000?
I think Its because I am working part time.
tiffany_twisted
12-28-2020, 09:53 PM
I think Its because I am working part time.
Oh I understand. Well hopefully that's just their wording to warn you that if you go over you will lose it. Which site do you cam on? I know it's hard to be successful without being consistent in camming but I would hope if you can find a way to make it work where you can stop camming for the month once you get close to $1000 you will be ok.
amber2368
12-29-2020, 05:27 AM
Oh I understand. Well hopefully that's just their wording to warn you that if you go over you will lose it. Which site do you cam on? I know it's hard to be successful without being consistent in camming but I would hope if you can find a way to make it work where you can stop camming for the month once you get close to $1000 you will be ok.
I cam on streamate and chaturbate,and I do it very part time.
moneybags
01-19-2021, 02:24 AM
I wanted to post here. I’m struggling with some hand issues from camming. I went and got a massage today. I got a toy holder, so I hope I can use that instead of using my hands.
I’d like to do phone sex, but right now I need to make money so I’m camming full time this week. I hate doing that, but I have to. I’ve taken breaks and gone to doctors and no one really knows what’s wrong. I’ve been going to the doctor since August??? It’s ridiculous.
I’m getting sports massages, so hopefully I can get this under control so I can work full time.
Also need to specialize in JOI so I’m not doing most of the jerking off.
StassiMarie
01-19-2021, 09:27 PM
Having a bad week mentally. I skipped work the past two days and I know that I REALLY need to log on but I just physically can't for some reason?
I know I'm going to make bank. I look nice. WHAT IS MY FKING PROBLEM. I don't know if this is laziness or a lack of motivation or what but logging on just feels IMPOSSIBLE and I need to finish this week strong...
moneybags
01-20-2021, 01:27 AM
Having a bad week mentally. I skipped work the past two days and I know that I REALLY need to log on but I just physically can't for some reason?
I know I'm going to make bank. I look nice. WHAT IS MY FKING PROBLEM. I don't know if this is laziness or a lack of motivation or what but logging on just feels IMPOSSIBLE and I need to finish this week strong...
I'm making a schedule and making myself stick to it this week. It can be hard when you're dealing with an illness-mental or physical. I do a meditation on seducing men that helps. I feel like one has to have a really good sexy ritual before logging or. I can't do a cold open.
Miss_ShaSha
01-20-2021, 08:42 AM
I'm making a schedule and making myself stick to it this week. It can be hard when you're dealing with an illness-mental or physical. I do a meditation on seducing men that helps. I feel like one has to have a really good sexy ritual before logging or. I can't do a cold open.
This is good advice!
moneybags
01-20-2021, 08:34 PM
Well...I’m back. My doctor said i can work. Next week, I have to ask my hot doctor to show me how to masturbate...lol. I tried to hide my work, but my injury is from over using my hands. I feel bad but he’s a doctor, so he’s just gonna have to help me. I figure I’ll bring a banana or something to show me how to hold my toys so I don’t put as much stress on my hands. This is so embarrassing...lol.
IvyRose
01-21-2021, 05:12 AM
Well...I’m back. My doctor said i can work. Next week, I have to ask my hot doctor to show me how to masturbate...lol. I tried to hide my work, but my injury is from over using my hands. I feel bad but he’s a doctor, so he’s just gonna have to help me. I figure I’ll bring a banana or something to show me how to hold my toys so I don’t put as much stress on my hands. This is so embarrassing...lol.
Maybe you can use some of those pain relieving cremes they sell for muscle pain/rheuma... those ones that get warm (i dont know if warmte helps you, or if you actually would benefit with cooling them down, but thats easy to find out)
I have rheuma and it also affects my hands, as in having joint pain in wrists and fingerjoints. What helped me is taking care when i fall asleep that i dont lay on them and focus on relaxing the hand and muscles. I sleep on my hands a lot, normally, but when they hurt its obviously making it worse by also sleeping on hours on them.
Anyways, it was so funny to read your post. Oh my gosh, i can totally envision this scenario at doctor lol!
I really think the stand you bought for the toy will help you.
Maybe also focus on not tightly using hands on toy but barely toughing it if that makes sense.... the client will not feel it anyways, its just visual simulation...
Maybe you can do more talking and les using of hands? ..... or fe just tease the toy with touching it with one finger, sliding up and down instead of using full hand 100%
Hope it gets better soon! Give it a lot of rest whenever you can, that is the advice i got with handpain from fysio. (I was deliberatly relaxing hands fe while watching tv), a lot of time you put tension on hands without realising, untill you have chronic pain in them, than you realise!
moneybags
01-21-2021, 08:05 PM
Maybe you can use some of those pain relieving cremes they sell for muscle pain/rheuma... those ones that get warm (i dont know if warmte helps you, or if you actually would benefit with cooling them down, but thats easy to find out)
I have rheuma and it also affects my hands, as in having joint pain in wrists and fingerjoints. What helped me is taking care when i fall asleep that i dont lay on them and focus on relaxing the hand and muscles. I sleep on my hands a lot, normally, but when they hurt its obviously making it worse by also sleeping on hours on them.
Anyways, it was so funny to read your post. Oh my gosh, i can totally envision this scenario at doctor lol!
I really think the stand you bought for the toy will help you.
Maybe also focus on not tightly using hands on toy but barely toughing it if that makes sense.... the client will not feel it anyways, its just visual simulation...
Maybe you can do more talking and les using of hands? ..... or fe just tease the toy with touching it with one finger, sliding up and down instead of using full hand 100%
Hope it gets better soon! Give it a lot of rest whenever you can, that is the advice i got with handpain from fysio. (I was deliberatly relaxing hands fe while watching tv), a lot of time you put tension on hands without realising, untill you have chronic pain in them, than you realise!
Thanks. I'm readying the book body prescriptions this Sunday. I think maybe stress or repressed emotions is making things worse? I just have to accept my limitations right now. There's always hope I'll get better and can be back to normal. I've had odd health problems-caused my stress-that went away once i got rid of the stress.
I'm logging on for a few hours tonight. I should make my medium goal this week. Of course would have liked to make my high goal, but I don't want to over do it on my hands.
It's not the pain that's the worse. I'm worried if I don't listen to my body and plow on-figuratively and literally- then I could have long term damage. I have a really high pain tolerance and I'm driven AF, so I know I can run myself into the ground. I'd rather take things easy now and gradually increase my work load till there's no pain.
I'll be sure to let you know how my doctor's visit went...lol. I'm asking him to teach me to masturbate safetly...OMG.
Thanks for your advice. Thanks For listening.
tiffany_twisted
01-25-2021, 12:40 AM
^^^Take care of yourself!! Hopefully he has good tips for you!!
moneybags
01-28-2021, 03:33 AM
Thanks. He said I can go back to work and just listen to my pain when to stop working. He told me it didn’t matter what job I did. Any job with your hands can cause problems, so it’s not like camming is worse than any other job.
He recommended icing, stretches, and self massage.
I’m also reading the mind body prescription to help with how my mind might be manifesting pain.
I’m taking a very wholistic approach. I’m surrendering and just listening to what my body can do. Right now, like much of the earth I feel my body is crying for healing. It’s hard to not want to work my ass off, but I’ll never heal if I don’t listen to my body.
caramelcraze
03-03-2021, 12:07 AM
It's been a serious roller coaster, but I moved to a warmer drier climate last month & seriously wish I had done so when diagnosed with Fibro in '18 instead of trying to make Seattle work for me. Nearly 3 years of just being in denial about how bad the weather was for my condition & in debilitating pain 80% of the year, all to finally bite the bullet, move, and feel like an almost new person within days. The warm weather coupled with my meds, supplements, and diet have made me feel so much better! Flares aren't nearly as severe and don't last as long. Fatigue is still a problem, but much less of one (I've been slowly but consistently adding hours to my work schedule again for the first time in years). Allergies are finally somewhat under control because there isn't mold/dampness everywhere. I'm building up endurance slowly again with only minor muscle aches. Hell, I can climb a flight of stairs in one go without being in any noticeable pain or huffing/puffing afterwards, which hasn't been the case since March of '17.
Had to go back to WA for 3 days and it full blown knocked me on my ass for 4 days afterwards, which was quite the reality check. Sometimes you don't accept how bad a place is for your health until you're out of it. If I could turn back time, I would have moved so much sooner. So if you are considering moving for health reasons (even seasonally), all I have to say is please learn from my mistake and
https://media4.giphy.com/media/J7jsbfcJ2O5eo/200.gif
moneybags
03-13-2021, 06:18 AM
Im doing energy medicine. Right I know, but I’m desperate to heal. It only cost $150 for the whole program, so it’s not like I’m spending thousands to see some woo woo type of person (I’ve already spent thousands in medical bills seeing conventional doctors) After the session, I had hives and she said it’s the “bad” energy detoxing from my body. I hope this works. I’m desperate to get my life back. Her theory is you have to stop trying so hard to heal and just ALLOW. I just kind of have to be okay with not being okay and stop trying to “fight the illness.” If I can’t work then I can’t work. I’m setting strong intentions to be able to get back to work full time in April and make real cam girl money, but I have to detach from the outcome and just accept my limitations with compassion.
https://drkimderamo.com/
Esixxx
03-13-2021, 07:15 AM
Im doing energy medicine. Right I know, but I’m desperate to heal. It only cost $150 for the whole program, so it’s not like I’m spending thousands to see some woo woo type of person (I’ve already spent thousands in medical bills seeing conventional doctors) After the session, I had hives and she said it’s the “bad” energy detoxing from my body. I hope this works. I’m desperate to get my life back. Her theory is you have to stop trying so hard to heal and just ALLOW. I just kind of have to be okay with not being okay and stop trying to “fight the illness.” If I can’t work then I can’t work. I’m setting strong intentions to be able to get back to work full time in April and make real cam girl money, but I have to detach from the outcome and just accept my limitations with compassion.
https://drkimderamo.com/
It sounds like that may be the case- from personal experience anytime my body goes into detoxification- I feel like crap for a little bit because my body is pushing all of that garbage out. Anything that needs to be healed- has to rise to the surface (pushed out of the body) for healing to occur. Sidenote- if there is a medical problem- I would see a doctor.
I see a healer for reiki treatments on a regular basis and also practice as well. So for me- it works and it is also like a mental massage- I have a greater sense of clarity after each session.
Acceptance is big part of the process, allowing what is to be what is- just allowing oneself to feel it, and then let it go.
Last year I had one hell of a time- trying to meet goals, but I just couldn't reach them- (and I was logging on putting in the time, etc.) One thing that I learned while reading Letting Go (https://www.amazon.com/Letting-David-Hawkins-M-D-Ph-D/dp/1401945015) was that I was too attached to the outcome. If you do have time to read it- I highly recommend it. It's been a game changer for me. If you don't have time to read it, there are summaries all over YouTube to get the quick and dirty.
The chapter on Desire really opened my eyes (I'm still reading and studying the book with a friend.)
SamanthaSugar
03-24-2021, 03:55 PM
This month I’ve been camming for 11 FN years! Camming has been good to me, giving me freedom, flexibility & pretty good $$, but on the flip side it’s also been really, really bad for me. It’s made me feel super isolated and trapped in a shell, never letting anyone in, afraid of how they would view me. I only show them what I think they want to see. I live alone but would love to have a roommate for the company, but I cam so there’s that. Some people may think cam girls have it easy, but choosing this life comes with a very dark side. I’m not suicidal, but death no longer scares me as it used to, I don’t have a lot joy in my life, the constant stress of camming has just sucked the life out of me. I’m just sick of this lifestyle. I know this has been a bummer of a post, but there is a happy ending. So last month I decided enough is enough, so studied for my Life/Health license and I passed the exam yesterday!!! My plan is to get the F out of this business before I sink further down the hole. By July I am peace out!!! If anyone has any questions about how I went about getting my license, you can DM me :)
moneybags
03-24-2021, 08:24 PM
What’s a life/health license? Sounds neat.
I’ve been doing some mind body work today. I’m healing, but I also have bad days. I finished doing my health coaching and am ready to go back to work. The hardest part is surrendering to the process and knowing I will heal when I heal. Until then all I can do is assist my body in healing by loving it.