View Full Version : Would you quit camming for a guy?
SaintSlutface
06-19-2014, 02:50 AM
Noooooooooooope. Or a girl. Or my family. Or the Pope. I make my own decisions. If someone wanted to or even suggested leaving me because of my job they're not worth the time you've already spent on them. It took me a long long time to figure it out. The quality of partners you have will distinctly go up when you kick those types of people to the curb.
TheBrownFox
06-19-2014, 06:22 AM
From my experience, I would not wish anyone to quit at that juncture in a relationship.
While love is budding at 6 months and there is the opportunity for change is looming in your future (school)- please don't take his "cue" and the timing to lead you into the decision to quit. The red flag at 6 months leads me to ask:
Does he understand and appreciate the time, energy and devotion that you pour into your work?
Can he see past his own inflated insecurities to empathize with you?
In my experience, I met a guy and sparks flew. He was not supportive of camming. While he assured me he "loved" me, whether he actually did or was using the term loosely to show affection, when he learned I was falling for him and in a spot of transition- he pushed VERY HARD to keep me from it.
I stopped it all because he convinced me my work was "unfair" to him
Looking back I feel that because I caved, I gave him more control to call the shots in my life. And while I won't go into how that ended- your scenario raised enough red flags to me that I wanted to share.
The insecurities aren't about what you're doing as much as they are about him. Don't be easily moved make major changes in your life for someone who, despite your empathy, does not completely accept you.
Always remember to do what's best for you. Although dating is not always easy in the lifestyle, you always need to be true to loving yourself :)
Wow, great first post! :)
Sam38g
06-19-2014, 09:38 AM
What cracks me up is men will ask us to give up many different things then act like they are doing US a favor.
Many men have asked me to give up porn for them then turn around immediately & tell me NOT to expect a relationship out of them. Hence why I have to stay true to me. The BS of only If!!! Only if you weren't a stripper! Only if you didn't do porn! Only if you weren't a bbw! Only if you didn't have such big boobs! All my adult life, I've heard those words. Which are a cop out. Which are total BS of them wanting to have fun, to have sex with me without all the work it takes to be in a relationship.
I always think to myself. "ONLY if I gave a shit about what you want." Clearly they all send the same message that NONE of them have my best interest at heart only their dicks. What they also say "only if you were a cheaper date?" Why can't we just go to Burger king instead of a steak house? Why is it so costly to date you?
Once had an ex ask me to give up my Dog, my dearest, love of my life dog. I worked in a tanning salon. Yet, wasn't enough. Guess what? Kept the dog & never once regretted it.
Although I can't make it about being in the adult industry. Even when I wasn't in it there always was the "ONLY IF" bullshit. I see it with my friends who have never been in adult. Men wanting them to give up major important things in their lives. None of them caring how it effected her or her life. Never ceases to amaze me what men will ask.
Seen people give up their kids, their pets, their jobs, move to different countries. Is that love? Considering that I am 45 years old & only know ONE man who doesn't cheat on his wife. He knows better, since all of her sisters, cousins have ended up in jail for battery upon their boyfriends & husbands for cheating. He knows the very real consequence of cheating.
I truly wonder if men can love at all? Other than their dicks. Other than my friends husband & my Dad, seen very few men make any kind of sacrifice in their lives that put others above themselves.
Good Luck,
Sam