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jack0177057
08-21-2020, 09:32 PM
^ Raziel, with all due respect you say things that sound poetic and philosophical, but, don't really mean anything at all. What does 'standing by my side' really mean? I know its a metaphor, but, you sound like a monk who says simple poetic things that don't mean anything in the real world.

No two people are equal. Whether you compare two men, two women, a man and a woman, people of difference races, etc. There is no wisdom is not saying "we are all equal" and "we all stand side by side". That's just 'progressive' BS that does more harm than good. Each of us has an enormous potential to shine and be special in some way, but, we also suck at many things.

If you have a kid that sucks at baseball and you give him a trophy and encourage him to continue wasting time on something that can only lead to disappointment, that is not helpful. Instead, you should tell that kid, "Sorry kid, baseball is not your thing, you suck at it. But, there are a million other activities you can do. Go FIND YOUR THING and you will be BOSS at whatever that thing may be."

My approach to finding my partner is not in finding my 'equal', but, in finding the woman that challenges me. (And, I am no good to her, unless, I also challenge her.) In somethings, she is my clear superior, and she will make me a better man. In other things, I do the same for her. We are human, we each have strengths and weaknesses. We complement each other and watch each other's back.

Many 'feminist men' treat women like white progressives treat minorities, i.e., lets lower the standards and use affirmative action to artificially 'elevate' them to a position equal with males. That is patronizing and condescending BS.

Instead, of trying to artificially make women 'equal', why not just recognize their inherent strengths and those qualities that tend to make them actually superior to men? In many ways, men are the weakest links and women are the solid and strong links that have to make up for the weakness of men. In our patriarchal culture, we downplay those qualities in which women tend to show superiority (e.g., peace, order and creating nurturing environments), and, we emphasize the qualities in which men tend to show superiority (e.g., territorial aggression and claiming possession to things). We need to be cleansed of this brainwashing. Women do not need affirmative action, they just need to be acknowledged. I come from a family of very strong women. They are the strong links that keep shit together when all hell is about to break loose, and, the men have been weak links (although, they APPEAR to be powerful under society's patriarchal standards of power).

What makes me a feminist is not that I am not an 'ALLY', but, that I am a WITNESS to the power of women. I have seen it, I continue to see it, and I can testify to it.

And, I have always been attracted to powerful women. If I tell my partner that we have to stand side by side, I am going to slow her down. Instead, I am going to encourage her to go at her own pace and I am going to work my ass off to try to keep up. And, once in a while, I will be ahead and she'll have to work harder to keep up.

jack0177057
08-21-2020, 10:09 PM
With regards to the original questions about how many dates till you sleep together, it depends. If you have terrific sexual chemistry and you are both sexually liberated and mature, then, the first date might be okay. But, there are so many different variables.

I felt ready right away with some women, but, with others, I needed more time to get to know them. Some people are more mysterious than others and it takes more time to reach that point of intimacy. Good intimacy needs to happen at all levels: physical, intellectual and emotional (and maybe, spiritual, too). If you don't have all those connections, yet, it may be best to wait until you connect on all these levels. It also depends on whether the relationship you are embarking on is one of thrill and adventure or whether it has the potential to lead to a life together. You can afford to make a few mistakes if it is purely for thrills and adventure, but, when you meet someone truly special enough that makes you think about having babies and growing old together, you have to be more careful with each step you take. Me personally, if it has a potential for a serious long term relationship, I enjoy a little courting and a little challenge. I will not judge or hold it against us if we sleep together on the first date, but, I enjoy building up to it with a few dates and savoring each one of the bases before the getting to the big homerun.

Raziel
08-21-2020, 10:18 PM
^ Raziel, with all due respect you say things that sound poetic and philosophical, but, don't really mean anything at all. What does 'standing by my side' really mean? I know its a metaphor, but, you sound like a monk who says simple poetic things that don't mean anything in the real world.

The whole thing was poetic, it was meant to be. She does stand by my side, i want her to. But it was all Metaphor. Put simply, i don't believe i am any better than the women here on this site (or any where). I believe we are all worthy of Respect, Justice, and Love. Until we prove we are not worthy of that, and this goes for Men, too. All of us are moving into the future. We need to do it together. What's wrong with a little respect for Women? 51% of the Human race.

More Women out there than Men, after all.

BTW: I always try to write very concise, i don't write an essay. For example, the post you wrote, that i'm responding to, would have been MURDER for me. I do enough writing. I don't need to do any more. Look, when i write, it's usually about some dude on a Spaceship, or Time Travel, or a Cat's Eyes when he's facing down little Demons, or Misty things. I try not to write much outside of that. That shit pays. Science Fiction Guys and Girls EAT THAT UP. And that's how i make my living. And i probably make more money than you do. Plus, i can write until they pin the nails in my coffin. I don't plan on EVER retiring. And, yeah, i get poetic at times.

Oh and I sound like a Monk, yeah, sure. Cool. Thanks.


No two people are equal. Whether you compare two men, two women, a man and a woman, people of difference races, etc. There is no wisdom is not saying "we are all equal" and "we all stand side by side". That's just 'progressive' BS that does more harm than good. Each of us has an enormous potential to shine and be special in some way, but, we also suck at many things.

Well', they LOOK equal to me. No offense, but who the FUCK are you to say they are not equal? Not worthy. Not deserving of equal Justice. Equal Love. Who the FUCK are you? You don't have that right. Sorry Jack, but i just read that and edited my post. You are NO ONE to be telling them YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM.

We are ALL the same, ALL of us. Women AND Men. That nonsense you just put out is just pure BULLSHIT.


If you have a kid that sucks at baseball and you give him a trophy and encourage him to continue wasting time on something that can only lead to disappointment, that is not helpful. Instead, you should tell that kid, "Sorry kid, baseball is not your thing, you suck at it. But, there are a million other activities you can do. Go FIND YOUR THING and you will be BOSS at whatever that thing may be."

I'd teach him Hockey. It's a better sport, anyway. Baseball is a bunch of Dudes scratching their balls and standing around. Hockey POPS! When you watch a Hockey game, you know it. Those guys are like Jet Fighters!


Many 'feminist men' treat women like white progressives treat minorities, i.e., lets lower the standards and use affirmative action to artificially 'elevate' them to a position equal with males. That is patronizing and condescending BS.

Yeah, you're right, here. I despise Men who do this. But i believe Women are ACTUALLY equal. I'm better at some stuff, she's better at some stuff. It's the same with everyone. We are all worthy. We aren't the same, but we ARE equal.

The rest of your post, i'm not going to argue with. If a guy goes and calls himself a "Feminist", chances are he's just trying to get Pussy. I don't buy the Witness stuff, but if that's how you feel, that's cool by me. At least it's better than the other thing. Myself, i consider myself an Ally. You're going to have to just deal with that.

Raziel
08-21-2020, 10:39 PM
And, if you look back at it, i did say it was a little idealistic.

Raziel
08-22-2020, 12:29 AM
Oh, and with regards to the original questions, i won't sleep with her until SHE feels the time is right. I'm perfectly comfy walking back to my car without kissing her on the first date. I'm usually walking on air. Totally thrilled. Leave them wanting more, ya know? Might get date #2.

slowpoke
08-22-2020, 03:38 PM
But when you approach them, they tend to feel that they do. Even earlier today, I was shopping and I heard a guy ask of any of his friends had a lighter, so I offered him mine. I dont smoke, I just carry one because. Of course, he took that as a come on, and after a minute of trying to chat me up, he offered me a cigarette. When I declined it and told him I dont smoke, he asked why and I saw my opportunity to kill the conversation then and there, so I narrowed my eyes, clenched my fists, started taking slow, deep breaths, and I said to him, When Ragnarok comes upon this land, Surtr will charge forth wielding a sword off of which will be emitted a great flame which will consume the earth and I shall become the flame. He just kinda stood there looking stunned, so I walked off.

Its really the same at the club if I approach someone at the club, they typically know why and I have to use powers of persuasion on them (which I can do pretty well). If they approach me and initiate a conversation - men or women - its a lot easier for me to get them to spend money.

Interesting he did not pick up on the phallic symbolism of the sword.

SnuffleUffleGrass
08-23-2020, 05:42 PM
Interesting he did not pick up on the phallic symbolism of the sword.

Maybe his mind just went to mythology first.....?

miss.a.p1600
08-23-2020, 07:03 PM
Oh, and with regards to the original questions, i won't sleep with her until SHE feels the time is right. I'm perfectly comfy walking back to my car without kissing her on the first date. I'm usually walking on air. Totally thrilled. Leave them wanting more, ya know? Might get date #2.

I rarely kiss on first date. And if I do I prefer a peck only.

Imo guys that try to slob you down on first date only want to try to turn you on in order to fuck you on said date.

I’ll never forget the time this guy (I quickly ended it with him once I discovered he was a narcissistic jerk) tried to kiss me on the first date after he took me to a nice restaurant.

I guess he erroneously thought since he took me to a nice restaurant that I owed him a kiss.

Nope.

At the end this mf started gazing into my eyes with these googly look in his eyes and instead of picking up on my non verbal cues he thought an extended gaze then playing with my hair would get him what he wanted.

I left with no regret of not kissing him.

the guys who push for more too soon I usually end it with them / put them in fuckboi category

Raziel
08-23-2020, 07:13 PM
I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

But i WILL walk her to her door.

Raziel
08-23-2020, 07:26 PM
There's a Restaurant around here, it's Greek. Called Olympia. That's my Go To destination for first dates. The food is fan-fucking-tastic.

AChildOfBoredom
08-23-2020, 08:20 PM
I rarely kiss on first date

I can rarely even keep any interest halfway through the first date. And so they end up being the only dates. Maybe the woman who told me Im inhuman was right.

miss.a.p1600
08-23-2020, 08:34 PM
I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

But i WILL walk her to her door.

Id concur.

Those sound like good ideas for dates Raziel

The notebook was a good movie and there was some kissing scenes that were really hot.

Male Gigalo was hilarious!

But I guess its better to chose movies wisely in the beginning so as not to end up the the friend zone

Walking a lady to her door is a great gentleman gesture

Raziel
08-24-2020, 01:03 AM
BTW, as far as fucking goes, that's all on her. I'm not a guy that NEEDS to fuck all the time. I greatly prefer that there be something between us before we do that. Some guys are constantly sniffing at some girl's heels. I don't. When i said i prefer to do it on the third Date, i meant kissing, not fucking. None of this has anything to do with being the client of an Escort or something (Because i have done that in the past, always tried to treat them with respect, and i know exactly what that is).

Oh, and i don't mind being in the friend zone. I have no problem being friends with a Woman. I like it. I'm friends with Snuffle, after all. You can see it before your eyes. I'm not trying to fuck her! (She has a man, anyway)

Edit to add: I have to now mention a Hot Dog. So Hot Dog. I eat them occasionally. Actually, one sounds pretty good right now, ;) @AChildOfBoredom

pegasus027
08-24-2020, 02:02 AM
hng tốt giá rẻ có dịch vụ giao hng thu tiền tn nơi đảm bảo cho khách hng. phụ bạn một tay chúc bạn ngy phát triển

AChildOfBoredom
08-24-2020, 02:25 AM
All of that, and not one mention of a hot dog.

Raziel
08-24-2020, 03:42 AM
Male Gigalo was hilarious!

Look, i didn't watch it, because it's a Rob Schneider movie, and i hate all of them (Including the Hot Chick, and Rachel McAdams is in that, an actress i really like). Those movies are DEADLY.

BTW, Rachel was in the Notebook. She played the Female Lead. Something i know a bit about.

Edit to add: I don't write Romance, but that doesn't mean i don't dig it. They just often fuck it up and it becomes shitty. They just treat the audience like they are stupid, like they don't have to pay attention to the story and just kissing scenes are enough. Every now and then there is an actually good Romance. But the Notebook was actually pretty good. Titanic, as well. I don't read the books, though. So i don't know how good they are. I read shit like Dune, and the Wheel of Time, The Expanse, or Lord of the Rings.

BTW: Romantic Comedies are the DOOM OF MEN.

Raziel
08-24-2020, 03:45 AM
hng tốt giá rẻ có dịch vụ giao hng thu tiền tn nơi đảm bảo cho khách hng. phụ bạn một tay chúc bạn ngy phát triển

You realize your speaking in an Alien Language, right? You keep posting this gibberish all over the site, nobody can understand you.

slowpoke
08-24-2020, 05:08 AM
All of that, and not one mention of a hot dog.


Without ketchup.

SnuffleUffleGrass
08-24-2020, 05:09 AM
I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

But i WILL walk her to her door.

One of my favorite casual outings with an ex was to a local aquarium.

Back on topic, as people mature/age, getting sex early on just loses its appeal.

Our culture of focusing on instant gratification spoils a lot of friendships and LTRs that could blossom into something better.

Raziel
08-24-2020, 06:03 AM
OOH, we have a new Aquarium here in STL. New date location. Thanks for reminding me, Snuffle!

Good place to take a Girl.

slowpoke
08-24-2020, 08:43 AM
I can rarely even keep any interest halfway through the first date. And so they end up being the only dates. Maybe the woman who told me I’m inhuman was right.

Find someone who will take you to the range!

Elektra Luxx
08-24-2020, 10:25 AM
hng t‘t giá rẻ có d‹ch vụ giao hng thu tiền tn nơi ‘ảm bảo cho khách hng. phụ bạn m™t tay chúc bạn ngy phát triƒn


You realize your speaking in an Alien Language, right? You keep posting this gibberish all over the site, nobody can understand you.

As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.

AChildOfBoredom
08-24-2020, 11:33 AM
Without ketchup.

When I worked for Rea, I had this one coworker I dont remember which country exactly, but he was from somewhere in Africa. Where Toto blessed the rains. Very skilled equipment operator. But there are two things about him which everyone remembers. The first was that he was really easy to get riled up, and people had fun agitating him. The other is that, in spite of how much he just LOVED to use it, he never really mastered the word bullshit, so it always came out BOOshit, and he never really got the hang of putting it into noun or verb form, so youd hear, ah, you a BOOshit or why he always BOOshit me, etc. And he was quick to play the role of the accuser, so youd frequently see him with a stern look on his face talking to someone and hed say, [name of person] why you BOOshit me?.

At this point youre probably wondering why Im telling you this or how its relevant. Well, in the end, I have to ask the question slowpoke, why you BOOshit me?

slowpoke
08-24-2020, 12:55 PM
As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.

Nothing compares to the scintillating conversation found on these pages!

Raziel
08-24-2020, 08:44 PM
As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.

Yeah, if you can read that shit i'll give you a Chocolate Frog. It looks like nothing to me!

Just kidding. But you can have the Chocolate Frog, anyway.

305gurl
08-24-2020, 09:40 PM
My dad always told me "No dating until after you're married!" And I listen. :)

Raziel
08-25-2020, 12:35 AM
^If you can't date, how do you get Married?

Raziel
08-25-2020, 02:11 AM
I always try to find interesting shit to do on a Date. The Art Museum, The Zoo (STL has the best free Zoo in the United States), the Planetarium. Anything that is cool, and that she might like.

I'm always on the sniff for new places to take a Woman.

AChildOfBoredom
08-25-2020, 02:36 AM
One of these Percival Manbun types asked me out on a date. Well, that wasnt a one off thing, but i only ever end up on those dates when its set up as a blind date (Ill never understand people who seem to think that would somehow be my type). I told him there was a concert I was going to, and he could go with me if he so wished, and perhaps we could grab dessert afterwards. Didnt know it was a grindcore show, and he went pale when he saw me jump into the pit. Which, of course he didnt join in. And maybe I was being a bit brash, but I get really amped up at those shows, so I started giving him a hard time. I think what made it apparent to him that we were never going anywhere was when I said to him, What makes you think youd ever get me in bed when you have no balls whatsoever?. Which in reflection was an unduly bitchy thing for me to say, but I was in the zone. I go to a show like that, and I just get 100% into it.
He took an Uber home and I stayed for the rest of the show. I was sore as hell the next day, though. Im just under 411 and very slender, and there were some big dudes in that pit.

Raziel
08-25-2020, 03:15 AM
"Percival Manbun" LMAO. I think Percival had long hair, but it wasn't in a Manbun. LOL Manbun. (BTW Percival was on the quest for the Holy Grail in Arthurian Mythology)

I can't stand those dudes. If you wanna have long hair, fine, but wear it down. Women will like you more. A BUN. LOL.

miss.a.p1600
08-25-2020, 06:38 AM
^If you can't date, how do you get Married?

you know some people equate dating with fucking. Especially the tinder culture type dudes.

i hate how some guys think since they took you on a nice date they are now owed sex

Raziel
08-25-2020, 06:46 AM
Well, i do not.

They need to understand that there is more for them to do for that sort of thing.

Oh, and i'm not a "Tinder Culture" type dude, i view Tinder as the Spawn of Satan. Absolutely despise it.

Raziel
08-25-2020, 07:54 AM
Look, as far as the Tinder Culture goes, here's how i do things. I take you out on a date, or date #2... I'll walk you to your door, chat for a bit. And then i fuck off. I don't kiss you, even if you want to kiss, i want to leave you wanting more. I want the next date.

We can fuck when YOU decide it's time. When I've earned my keeps. Got my spurs with you, i guess you'd say.

Elektra Luxx
08-25-2020, 09:19 AM
Look, as far as the Tinder Culture goes, here's how i do things. I take you out on a date, or date #2... I'll walk you to your door, chat for a bit. And then i fuck off. I don't kiss you, even if you want to kiss, i want to leave you wanting more. I want the next date.

We can fuck when YOU decide it's time. When I've earned my keeps. Got my spurs with you, i guess you'd say.

Not even a kiss on the cheek? And you leave them wanting more?!

Raziel
08-25-2020, 09:23 AM
Not on Date #1. Might give her a peck on the cheek on Date #2, depends on whether or not i liked date #1. Date #3 bets are off. I'll probably full throat her on Date #3. And i'm GOOD at that, i can fucking KISS. I build up to it.

Look i'm trying to get the next date! And this shit works! You might not think it does, but it does. Might not work on YOU but it DOES work on other Women. Everyone's different.

Look, i'm not a dude looking for a lay. I'm a dude looking for a WIFE.

Raziel
08-25-2020, 09:37 AM
Besides, my dates are fun, read above (including the previous page). I i usually don't have much problem getting to date #3 (Where i can throat her :) ).

Bahuba
08-25-2020, 12:51 PM
One of these Percival Manbun types asked me out on a date. Well, that wasnt a one off thing, but i only ever end up on those dates when its set up as a blind date (Ill never understand people who seem to think that would somehow be my type). I told him there was a concert I was going to, and he could go with me if he so wished, and perhaps we could grab dessert afterwards. Didnt know it was a grindcore show, and he went pale when he saw me jump into the pit. Which, of course he didnt join in. And maybe I was being a bit brash, but I get really amped up at those shows, so I started giving him a hard time. I think what made it apparent to him that we were never going anywhere was when I said to him, What makes you think youd ever get me in bed when you have no balls whatsoever?. Which in reflection was an unduly bitchy thing for me to say, but I was in the zone. I go to a show like that, and I just get 100% into it.
He took an Uber home and I stayed for the rest of the show. I was sore as hell the next day, though. Im just under 411 and very slender, and there were some big dudes in that pit.

Your choice but that is pretty rough to say to a dude just because he doesn't know what to do! He probably remembers you as a tiny evil chucky doll now, haunting his dreams

AChildOfBoredom
08-25-2020, 01:11 PM
Your choice but that is pretty rough to say to a dude just because he doesn't know what to do! He probably remembers you as a tiny evil chucky doll now, haunting his dreams

Its not just because he didnt know what to do. This is what I fucking hate about Tinder culture too many fucking people out there who expect everything to be effortless. He didnt have to be into it, but he expected to get somewhere with no effort. As much as I dont like having passes made at me by lesbians (which a number of them get the idea that Im open to it when they hear the story of my refugee and how/why that came to pass), Ill give them credit in one area theyre at least more apt to being inquisitive and trying to understand what makes me tick.

This guy wasnt any different. His persistence in trying to ask me out annoyed me, so I used a nuclear option to make it clear to him that we could never be a thing.

Raziel
08-25-2020, 03:44 PM
Its not just because he didnt know what to do. This is what I fucking hate about Tinder culture too many fucking people out there who expect everything to be effortless. He didnt have to be into it, but he expected to get somewhere with no effort. As much as I dont like having passes made at me by lesbians (which a number of them get the idea that Im open to it when they hear the story of my refugee and how/why that came to pass), Ill give them credit in one area theyre at least more apt to being inquisitive and trying to understand what makes me tick.

This guy wasnt any different. His persistence in trying to ask me out annoyed me, so I used a nuclear option to make it clear to him that we could never be a thing.

I don't. I can tell you that right now. And i will not say whether i would ask you out (Hint: I wouldn't), because i don't come to this site to get dates, but rather just because i really enjoy the company of Women.

AChildOfBoredom
08-25-2020, 05:40 PM
I was making a generalization. One thing which really struck me as peculiar when I left the community was how hung up people in the English world are over convenience. Which, I understood “culture of convenience” was a thing (e.g., people will pay $2 for a 20 ounce bottle of pop even if 2 liter bottles are the same price or cheaper because they’re willing to pay for the convenience), but I never really understood just how deeply embedded into the minds of people that mentality was. Which really does explain a lot of things, and could make for a very lengthy discussion, but then you apply that to dating and the whole thing just goes to shit. Like everything else, people expect it all to just fall into their lap.

Maybe I’m still a bit old-fashioned, but I expect an effort to be made in order to win me over, which people generally seem to be unwilling to do, because it requires effort on their part. It’s not convenient for them.

So, I look at what I’ve achieved on my own, and then I look at that, and I look at the would-be suitors I’ve encountered or which others have tried setting me up with, and I just don’t understand how it is that I’m supposed to come to any conclusion other than that I’m better off on my own.

moneybags
08-25-2020, 06:10 PM
I was making a generalization. One thing which really struck me as peculiar when I left the community was how hung up people in the English world are over convenience. Which, I understood “culture of convenience” was a thing (e.g., people will pay $2 for a 20 ounce bottle of pop even if 2 liter bottles are the same price or cheaper because they’re willing to pay for the convenience), but I never really understood just how deeply embedded into the minds of people that mentality was. Which really does explain a lot of things, and could make for a very lengthy discussion, but then you apply that to dating and the whole thing just goes to shit. Like everything else, people expect it all to just fall into their lap.

Maybe I’m still a bit old-fashioned, but I expect an effort to be made in order to win me over, which people generally seem to be unwilling to do, because it requires effort on their part. It’s not convenient for them.

So, I look at what I’ve achieved on my own, and then I look at that, and I look at the would-be suitors I’ve encountered or which others have tried setting me up with, and I just don’t understand how it is that I’m supposed to come to any conclusion other than that I’m better off on my own.

Yes! I agree with all the above. Maybe because I’m a little older-I remember not having a cell phone and I had dial up internet growing up. So I didn’t grow up with instant gratification.

To the OP my opinion is that dating should be treated as interviewing them for a job to be your partner. Sleep with the person when you are ready to hire them...LOL.

305gurl
08-25-2020, 06:13 PM
^If you can't date, how do you get Married?

It's a reference and, as well, a recurring gag in some family cartoon sitcom

miss.a.p1600
08-25-2020, 09:50 PM
Besides, my dates are fun, read above (including the previous page). I i usually don't have much problem getting to date #3 (Where i can throat her :) ).

why i read throat as DEEPthroat LOL!!!

I guess you mean deep French kissing .... but my mind went to the left

trustfundkiller
08-25-2020, 10:20 PM
I don't sleep with guys until I'm in an exclusive relationship with them. FME, this usually happens around date 5 and beyond. In general, if you're looking for a healthy relationship, I think it's better to pace yourself and get to know the person. Will you find exceptions to that rule? Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of happily married couples who slept together on date 1.

Raziel
08-26-2020, 01:28 AM
I don't sleep with guys until I'm in an exclusive relationship with them. FME, this usually happens around date 5 and beyond. In general, if you're looking for a healthy relationship, I think it's better to pace yourself and get to know the person. Will you find exceptions to that rule? Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of happily married couples who slept together on date 1.

Pretty much how i feel. When it's going somewhere. And i'm a dude.

Other than that, if i need it bad enough, i'll just go to an Escort.

Raziel
08-26-2020, 01:31 AM
why i read throat as DEEPthroat LOL!!!

I guess you mean deep French kissing .... but my mind went to the left

Yes, that's just what i meant. NOT deepthroat. We can do that later, date #3 is a little too early.

But i don't always deep french kiss, i like being romantic with it, too, sometimes. Sometimes really slow, really gentle kisses are just what the doctor ordered. But other times you just go WILD. And i know when. As i said, i know just how to Kiss. I never want to send a Woman away dissatisfied

Raziel
08-26-2020, 03:14 AM
I was making a generalization. One thing which really struck me as peculiar when I left the community was how hung up people in the English world are over convenience. Which, I understood “culture of convenience” was a thing (e.g., people will pay $2 for a 20 ounce bottle of pop even if 2 liter bottles are the same price or cheaper because they’re willing to pay for the convenience), but I never really understood just how deeply embedded into the minds of people that mentality was. Which really does explain a lot of things, and could make for a very lengthy discussion, but then you apply that to dating and the whole thing just goes to shit. Like everything else, people expect it all to just fall into their lap.

Maybe I’m still a bit old-fashioned, but I expect an effort to be made in order to win me over, which people generally seem to be unwilling to do, because it requires effort on their part. It’s not convenient for them.

So, I look at what I’ve achieved on my own, and then I look at that, and I look at the would-be suitors I’ve encountered or which others have tried setting me up with, and I just don’t understand how it is that I’m supposed to come to any conclusion other than that I’m better off on my own.

Well, Goddamn, another post.

I would put in the effort, i'm used to that, but i don't live in North Carolina. I always try to put in effort.

And it's amazing to me that you call it "Pop," here we call it "Soda." That's so cute.

AChildOfBoredom
08-26-2020, 04:22 AM
And it's amazing to me that you call it "Pop," here we call it "Soda." That's so cute.

That’s not a North Carolina thing. I’m originally from Wisconsin.

carmen_b
08-26-2020, 08:19 AM
It’s smart to out right say you expect a relationship and exclusivity .


I don't sleep with guys until I'm in an exclusive relationship with them. FME, this usually happens around date 5 and beyond. In general, if you're looking for a healthy relationship, I think it's better to pace yourself and get to know the person. Will you find exceptions to that rule? Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of happily married couples who slept together on date 1.

miss.a.p1600
08-26-2020, 10:22 AM
^the guy I’m dating now asked to be my bf BEFORE things got too intimate.

I’m glad because it made me realize that I had been doing things ass backwards for most of my adult dating experience - which was give guys the full version of myself before they demonstrated their long term relationship worthiness hoping they’d see how great of a catch I was and seize the opportunity to be with me.

Well a lot of young guys (at least the ones o encountered) had ADHD when it came to women

Anyways I wasted a lot of time and had unfulfilling mediocre sex because I was doing the most to please a guy so he’d be with me. But ironically it seems like when I started pulling back and not giving as much physically n emotionally is when guys started confessing their desire to be with me.

I felt more comfortable letting go and being intimate when I knew the guy I’m dating now was not trying to fuck me then play with my emotions, nor sample every woman breathing (without informing me) while also sleeping with me at the same time.