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View Full Version : and now for something completely different - Woman Charged with Raping Sleeping Man



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Kellydancer
09-15-2014, 08:02 PM
Oldster that is a sad story and have heard a few like that. I'm not sure I would put statutory rape in the same category. Where I live we have 5 people on the sex offender registry and 4 of them were all situations where they were just an adult (like 18 or 19)and the other person was just below the limit, like 15. In those cases there isn't much age difference especially if the 18 or 19 year old is immature. It's sad they are paying the price. The one person on the list not statutory is a pedophile that raped a couple of kids and I think we'd all agree he's more dangerous than the others. None of the statutory offenders were situations where they were in authority either, likely classmates or something like that.

Tourdefranzia
09-16-2014, 10:42 AM
l
But let's also be real about the fact that there is a wide gulf between feeling pissed, and maybe even a bit grossed out, vs. the feelings of deep violation experienced by female rape victims. I'm guessing that the guy who got molested by the big-un isn't going to be taking silkwood showers, just not able to feel clean, crying himself to sleep at night, having moments of PTSD and deep depression, and hating himself and the world for what happened. The same likely couldn't be said for a female who endured the same treatment from a male perp.



You don't know that. As a dancer, I endure sexual harassment as part of my job. Customers have taken liberties with my body that I did not invite or want. I may have a bit of PTSD, but nothing that has me feeling like I've been deeply violated. I've had more stressful emotional responses to being cut off in traffic. I don't get nightmares about being violated by customers at work anymore. But the first time a customer put his hands where they didn't belong was intensely stressful and scary.

I think at some point even the most heinous acts against us can be normalized. If this man was unaccustomed to being sexually violated, he could very well be suffering as much as any female victim.

Melonie
09-16-2014, 11:04 AM
^^^ arguably, the major source of his 'suffering' would be handing over 15%+ of his earnings for the next 21 years to support a child he 'involuntarily' fathered.

SavannahLynnn
09-22-2014, 02:08 AM
And while the statutory rape laws exist for very good reason, I'm sure that most 14 year old boys aren't going to be traumatized for life by putting their penises inside of 20 year old women instead of whatever pieces of clothing they use to jerk off, lol.

Feel the way you want and for good reason, but I'm having trouble viewing this in the same way for both genders. Shit, if guys had the same feelings about sex and potential violation as women do, then most strip clubs probably wouldn't exist. Again, it is never okay to take a guy's choice away, but let's also be real about the differences in impact that these things have on men vs. women.

It shouldn't have anything to do with gender. I'm sure many men react the same way to rape as women but don't admit it out of fear of being called "gay" or "pussy".
Men can be sensitive without being gay. They should be allowed to feel and express every range of human emotion and have it viewed as normal.

Also not all 14 year olds are sexually active or masturbating.. or even going through puberty yet.


Rick

you know I agree with much of what you say, for me, and obviously for you, but you know what, this guy acted exactly like a rape victim. He did exactly what we demand of rape victims, he reported instantly to the cops, subjected himself to a bunch of crap he did not wish to, and we do not know what he is going through. WE make light, but when was the last time someone was in your house in the middle of the night? might you not wake up at every little noise for a very long time?

If he has a girlfriend, betcha she doubts. Betcha he is going through the same shit, 'what did you do to invite her?' betcha he saw some cops snicker. Look at the crap on this very enlightened board. What is he hearing in his own life?

No I do not demand all men to be tough guys. That is one of the things that is wrong with our society.

He is going through what he is going through, and even knowing what I know about men, I do not pretend to know every man, and I do not feel it right to diminish what he went through because I may not feel or react the same way.

YES. To all of this.



^^^ arguably, the major source of his 'suffering' would be handing over 15%+ of his earnings for the next 21 years to support a child he 'involuntarily' fathered.

To me this IS unfair. I wouldn't want to have any part in caring for or even birthing a child I conceived through rape, and I wouldn't blame a man for feeling that either.
Now in a different scenario where it was consensual and he was of age and just chose not to take precautions..


Idk I feel like I can't stand all these frigging gender stereotypes of "men can't be raped... women can't rape.... men can't express certain feelings"

SavannahLynnn
09-22-2014, 02:11 AM
Savannah, my prayers for your fiance. I dated a man who was raped as a child by a babysitter and he definitely felt like your fiance. He told me he did think the babysitter was pretty (there goes that idea that it's not rape if the woman is hot)but he was too young for it.

I just thought of a point and what happens if a man raped gets the rapist pregnant? That is something that would freak me out.

Thanks. It just about breaks my heart every time I see him get emotional over it.

Melonie
09-22-2014, 03:16 AM
To me this IS unfair. I wouldn't want to have any part in caring for or even birthing a child I conceived through rape, and I wouldn't blame a man for feeling that either.

Now in a different scenario where it was consensual and he was of age and just chose not to take precautions..

Unfortunately, for better or worse, under current law there is no difference. If a man's sperm fertilizes a woman's egg ( by whatever non-clinical means ) and grows into a child, the man is responsible for supporting that child. For guys with higher incomes, that translates into a $20,000+ per year tax free payment to the mother.

Trem
09-22-2014, 09:56 AM
I would imagine if the mother is convicted of rape it would be fairly easy to get custody and not have to make any payment. If you rather have the baby that is.

Melonie
09-22-2014, 02:08 PM
^^i^ true enough ... IF a rape conviction can actually be obtained against a female accused in the first place, and IF the high earning guy would prefer to abandon his high earning career ladder to take full time responsibility for the child ... which could result in much more than $20k per year in reduced earnings over a period of years, on top of the significant additional direct child care expenditures required even if the involuntary father is awarded sole custody. Thus the odds of your scenario actually happening would appear to be extremely low.

Not wanting to cause controversy, but this scenario points out a basic legal difference ... that a female has the right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, but a male does not. And as such, the male cannot escape the 'costs' of supporting the child for the next 18-21 years ... even if the child was the result of an act of rape, and even if the mother is actually convicted of said rape ( which is a whole 'nuther story ). Thus it would appear that current law provides a 'loophole' for enterprising would-be mothers to 'lock in' a nice annual cash flow if they choose the right rape 'victim' ...

safado
09-22-2014, 07:46 PM
^^i^ true enough ... IF a rape conviction can actually be obtained against a female accused in the first place, and IF the high earning guy would prefer to abandon his high earning career ladder to take full time responsibility for the child ... which could result in much more than $20k per year in reduced earnings over a period of years, on top of the significant additional direct child care expenditures required even if the involuntary father is awarded sole custody. Thus the odds of your scenario actually happening would appear to be extremely low.

Not wanting to cause controversy, but this scenario points out a basic legal difference ... that a female has the right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, but a male does not. And as such, the male cannot escape the 'costs' of supporting the child for the next 18-21 years ... even if the child was the result of an act of rape, and even if the mother is actually convicted of said rape ( which is a whole 'nuther story ). Thus it would appear that current law provides a 'loophole' for enterprising would-be mothers to 'lock in' a nice annual cash flow if they choose the right rape 'victim' ...


You are making me want to get a vasectomy.

simone87
09-23-2014, 11:12 AM
well if the woman was accused of rape, i would assume she would serve jail time and the child would automatically be taken away and put into foster care or the father's care ( if he wanted it, which i would doubt). also child support is pretty measly unless the guy is very wealthy, most single mom's spend MUCH more than is given in child support, so i don't think raping anybody would be the best option for trying to up your cash flow..

Melonie
09-23-2014, 03:48 PM
^^^ again, that presumes that it's possible to actually obtain a rape conviction for a female accused rapist in a one-on-one scenario. While a few women have in fact been convicted of rape in a group context, and a few more women have been convicted of raping another woman, and a few more women have been convicted of 'statutory' rape on the basis of an underage male partner, there's damn little evidence showing women having been convicted of raping a man in a one-on-one scenario.

also, according to an internet search, 1 in 20 or 5% of Americans earn more than $150k per year. With a state mandated 15% child support payment, that's $22,500 per year in child support 'cash flow'.

threlayer
09-24-2014, 10:01 AM
...Not wanting to cause controversy, but this scenario points out a basic legal difference ... that a female has the right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, but a male does not. And as such, the male cannot escape the 'costs' of supporting the child for the next 18-21 years ... even if the child was the result of an act of rape, and even if the mother is actually convicted of said rape ( which is a whole 'nuther story ). Thus it would appear that current law provides a 'loophole' for enterprising would-be mothers to 'lock in' a nice annual cash flow if they choose the right rape 'victim' ...

I suppose the victim could cause a civil lawsuit which could neutralize any or most child support. After all, this is harm. But if the mother can show she cannot support the child, whose welfare is foremost in the courts, I would surmise that the rewards to the victim would be minimal.

On another point most all young men will experience an erection during sleeping (REM stage) and that is when men could be subject to attempted raped. (Or if we are lucky with our partner some very, very sweet sex.)

Melonie
09-24-2014, 11:48 AM
^^^ that's a sticky situation ( no pun intended ) ... because child support payments are supposedly for the exclusive benefit of the child, and the child was not party to any wrongdoing on the part of the mother. Thus the courts are likely to be very reluctant to 'penalize' the child as a result of a 'crime' his mother committed.

And, yet again, that is also based on an assumption that a rape conviction can actually be obtained against a female regarding a one-on-one scenario with no hard evidence or 3rd party corroboration. Such a conviction would be even more difficult to obtain than it already is against a male under similar 'he said, she said' circumstances, because the female plaintiff's attorney can raise a bunch of additional arguments - i.e. the male 'victim's' ability to achieve and sustain an erection under supposedly 'stressful' circumstances, the male 'victim's' inability to overcome a supposedly physically weaker 'attacker', etc. - which tend to indicate that the male 'victim' was in fact a willing participant.

threlayer
09-25-2014, 08:09 AM
^ agreed, esp about the child

It would have to go before a judge. He could be able to prove that his place was normally locked and he didn't know her previously.

tantra4
09-25-2014, 11:52 AM
And I can say from experience that I have woken up two exes by giving them head and it is definitely possible to get a man hard enough for sex while he's asleep. However, they my exes didn't consider it rape because I'm not fat, they considered it not rape because we were in an on-going consensual sexual relationship and it was something they had said would be OK beforehand. I wouldn't have done it otherwise as I would have considered it sexually violating them.

I did that to a bf who was drunk once. He came like right away and didn't even wake up. Next day he was so disappointed when he found out what he missed!