View Full Version : Mental Illness Poll
SweetJulia
02-13-2015, 02:29 PM
^And filling out a poll, under a screen name, where you don't even have to get specific, doesn't point everyone you know in the world to this site and what you're diagnosed with.
Selina M
01-21-2016, 09:18 PM
Bumping this cause I just figured out I'm *pretty sure* I have OCPD... it's a personality disorder vs. the OCD anxiety disorder. I came across it whilst doing homework for abnormal psych. I fit 5-6 of the 8 criteria in the DSM (obviously not going to say "I have this" until a psychologist affirms it though).
It explains a LOT. Bad grades from procrastination, despite an obsession with making schedules/study plans... I re-read & perfect my posts online for literally an hour sometimes... Everyone who disagrees with me is WRONG/stupid... Inability to work in groups because other people can't do tasks well enough... obsess about making a decision for ridiculous amounts of time (took me 3 months to buy a damn car) for fear of being wrong/not getting the BEST deal... no pleasure in *doing* tasks, only in *completing* them... self-imposed deadlines with huge pressure... on and on and on. This stuff has been growing worse for a couple years and has made me miserable.
I know I've posted about my fiancé before and seem to be constantly annoyed with him, and there are good reasons a lot of the time (he has his own issues), but I have never figured out exactly why I am always pissy at things, despite loving him dearly... The other day we had a massive, nearly relationship-ending fight, partly caused by that I am never happy and it's always "MORE MORE MORE", to which he feels he is being controlled into things he doesn't want/can't pursue his own interests bc I'll be upset I wasn't invited/that he can't ever do enough, and that I constantly explode over things to the point he is afraid to say anything that might set me off.
I read a bunch of accounts of spouses of OCPD people, and it was pretty freakin' similar.
Soooo yeah. Think I'll be seeing a psych. I always knew I had mild OCD/anxiety, which co-exist with this apparently, but it's kind of strange to think I might have an actual disorder that isn't one of the "cool" ones people say they have ::)
ScarletKitten
01-21-2016, 09:58 PM
I was irked reading some of my old posts in this thread. I no longer feel comfortable talking about mental illness too openly on this forum. So I had to edit and delete some posts. Anyone else feel free to do the same if you don't feel comfortable leaving private and sensitive information out there.
Also, I found that thinking about mental illness and self-diagnosing and trying to study it all the time, it becomes emotionally and spiritually draining, and causes mental illness to become even worse. It's ironic, because when I wrote this thread a long time ago, I was trying to work on myself, find out what was wrong and get better, but I was obsessing over it too much and reinforcing it in my mind every day. I should have been living life more. Staying indoors way too much was what made me unstable. I go outside every day now, and I feel so much better just because of that alone. I have to keep being productive and work towards goals all the time. That's what works for me, it keeps me balanced and sane.
SweetJulia
01-21-2016, 10:19 PM
I hear ya. I got bullied really badly in the eighth grade and left my house once the summer that followed.
Selina M
01-23-2016, 04:29 PM
Also, I found that thinking about mental illness and self-diagnosing and trying to study it all the time, it becomes emotionally and spiritually draining, and causes mental illness to become even worse. It's ironic, because when I wrote this thread a long time ago, I was trying to work on myself, find out what was wrong and get better, but I was obsessing over it too much and reinforcing it in my mind every day. I should have been living life more. Staying indoors way too much was what made me unstable. I go outside every day now, and I feel so much better just because of that alone. I have to keep being productive and work towards goals all the time. That's what works for me, it keeps me balanced and sane.
Ah see I guess it's different if you're like "I must have an illness, let me go figure out which one it is" and try to fit yourself into a diagnosis when you may not have anything except a few rogue traits that are just, ya know, your negative qualities. This was stumbled on accidentally; I was like "Damn".
I think there's a balance between obsessing over it and being aware you're being affected by it so you can curb the effects.
The last few days every time I'm about to get upset/offended, I stop and remember that it's likely this 'disorder'. The worst effect was that I took everything SO did/didn't do to my arbitrary expectations (which he had no idea existed, and were things as ridiculous as randomly chosen timetables of how long he "should" be out with friends) as personal insults, or assume things that were incorrect and also turn those into insults. It would all stack up until I reached the "righteous indignation" part and decided he 'deserved' punishment. Yeah... no wonder he was doubting wanting to 'consider another person' who reacts with hours of flipping shit & various manipulation tactics every time something doesn't go her way.
I've tried very hard to not do that the last 2 nights since he's gone out with friends... It's been a lot more peaceful and he's been a lot more considerate of letting me know where he is/when he's leaving/who is going.
CandySora
01-25-2016, 02:32 AM
Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Major Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I have limited executive functioning skills from my mental illnesses, so sex work is better for me than working 3 vanilla jobs, which is what I did before getting into sw. After I pay off all my student loans, I'm planning on enrolling in therapy. Oddly enough, a lot of other escorts I know seem to be struggling with BPD -- not all or even the majority certainly, but a percentage big enough that I took notice.
Thanks for creating this thread, btw. Mental illness needs to be de-stigmatized. It's not something to be ashamed of and being a mentally ill sex worker doesn't make your decision to do sex work less valid.