View Full Version : Orgasms with partners- or not, as it happens!
Naida
03-25-2015, 10:26 PM
Spent four years having sex with zero orgasms. The rare times I almost did, I made my partners stop because I felt like I had to pee. Finally, an ex who frequently brought me close noticed the pattern and, while going down on me one day, refused to stop when I told him to. Shit drove me up the wall and had me screaming "wtf was that?!" He ultimately taught me a lot in the way of exploring my sexuality, what I like, etc.
These days, I usually do orgasm from intercourse, but it's still extremely rare that a partner pulls it off. I just treat sex like a truly mutual act and tell them what the hell I need or do it myself. They're never gonna do it for you at all unless you speak up, and you usually still need to put forth some effort of your own to make it happen.
For what it's worth, I can't comfortably tolerate penetration with anything other than a dick. My brain tell my vagina "only penis belongs in there!"
zoezoebelle
03-27-2015, 11:12 AM
I know you say you're submissive, but have you considered trying to be on top during sex? Sometimes it's a lot easier to orgasm when you participate more... Lying down and being a dead fish isn't going to give you or your partners ideal levels of stimulation. Move around a little, try to meet his hips with yours, do some kegels up in there, touch your partner. What's the point in having sex if you aren't enjoying it, in every way?
Me, I orgasm like it's nobody's business. But I work for it too. The few times I've had a man who expects me to literally just lie there and let him pin me down the whole time, I didn't orgasm at all. Sex to me has to be a two way street.
drearea
03-27-2015, 11:34 AM
I'm working right now so I can't read all the comments (but this thread looks amazing so i will after work lol) but I wanted to say I hadn't cum from a partner until I got with my current dude. He's not the type of dude I'm normally attracted to but I'm more attracted to him than any man I've been with, and I think because he acts like there's literally nothing better in the world than being with me that I just get so into it I couldn't NOT cum if I tried lmao.
miss.a.p1600
04-30-2015, 08:04 PM
A cool little video of female orgasms made me think of this thread...
http://www.wired.com/2015/04/mystery-female-orgasm-explained-science/
Jay12
05-09-2015, 06:49 PM
I'm on a medication (Risperidone) that is making climax something really hard to achieve.
cherryblossomsinspring
05-10-2015, 08:19 AM
I think there is a reason most women can't have orgasms from penetration alone. Population control. Think about how if women in general got off as much as men did how many people there would be on the planet. You wouldn't be able to yawn without bumping someone in the head with your elbow. This situation seems to also ensure women find actual real partners that have more to offer than their cocks. If she's not really benefiting from "just sex" then there has to be another reason for her to be there. Personality, kindness, thoughtfulness, MONEY, responsible, common interests, companionship, love etc.
I used to think women got the short end of the stick with most having their pleasure centers away from that opening but now I see it as a way to keep us from making mistakes in partner selection. Obviously it's not a foolproof tool but I think that's why we're built the way we are.
Naida
05-11-2015, 02:55 AM
I think there is a reason most women can't have orgasms from penetration alone. Population control. Think about how if women in general got off as much as men did how many people there would be on the planet. You wouldn't be able to yawn without bumping someone in the head with your elbow. This situation seems to also ensure women find actual real partners that have more to offer than their cocks. If she's not really benefiting from "just sex" then there has to be another reason for her to be there. Personality, kindness, thoughtfulness, MONEY, responsible, common interests, companionship, love etc.
I used to think women got the short end of the stick with most having their pleasure centers away from that opening but now I see it as a way to keep us from making mistakes in partner selection. Obviously it's not a foolproof tool but I think that's why we're built the way we are.
I'm not sure how well this line of thought might be received, but I think women are supposed to have orgasms from straight up sex, even if they're not "vaginal orgasms." I think the reason it's so hard to achieve is a combination of routine circumcision and porn culture. Obviously, porn needs longer thrusts for the view and a lot of guys mimic porn to some degree, but most circ'd guys (from what I've read and personally experienced) have to use longer thrusts to feel "adequate" sensation. Uncut guys, in my experience, use more of a grinding thrust when they're genuinely into it and not trying to show off, which provides great clitoral stimulation.
ScarletKitten
05-11-2015, 08:56 PM
^^I think you might be onto something, Naida. I always found sex with uncut guys to be more pleasurable and wondered why. I think you just explained the reason for this phenomenon!
Naida
05-12-2015, 05:46 AM
^^I think you might be onto something, Naida. I always found sex with uncut guys to be more pleasurable and wondered why. I think you just explained the reason for this phenomenon!
There's a lot more reasons, apparently. I won't go into all of them because it would require getting on a soap box of social critique that a lot of Americans aren't fond of, but feel free to PM me.
kaninchen
07-29-2015, 03:32 PM
^^I think you might be onto something, Naida. I always found sex with uncut guys to be more pleasurable and wondered why. I think you just explained the reason for this phenomenon!
Seconding that uncut guys feel better! Semi-reviving this awesome thread, how has it been two months since someone posted in it?!
I started sleeping with a new guy three weeks ago and it's been really, really amazing so far. But I realized that with my previous partners for the past few years, it was exceedingly difficult or impossible to get off without fantasizing about being somewhere else. I feel a little embarrassed to share this, but seriously like, if I couldn't shut my eyes and think about Tom Hardy (okay not literally him but just whatever came to my mind) I wouldn't get there. Ever!
Has anyone else ever had this problem? What's that about?
It sucked and really ruined any sense of intimacy or mindfulness. I didn't even realize I had been doing it until I noticed that I wasn't doing it with this new guy. It's weird because while he's definitely a cutie, he's not really my "type" physically. (He's too skinny. I like beefy dudes.) Maybe it's because this guy is super sweet unlike the jerks I normally fuck.
Back to what Naida & ScarletKitten were saying, this guy is uncut but I still have to self-stimulate my clit, so I'm not really sure if that has anything to do with it? Hmm.
Elektra Luxx
07-30-2015, 01:53 PM
Seconding that uncut guys feel better! Semi-reviving this awesome thread, how has it been two months since someone posted in it?!
Back to what Naida & ScarletKitten were saying, this guy is uncut but I still have to self-stimulate my clit, so I'm not really sure if that has anything to do with it? Hmm.
Not sure why it feels better, but I do know that uncut guys cum a lot quicker. My bf is uncut and if he doesn't pace himself, let me rephrase that, if I don't pace him he cums in about 3 minutes flat. Then I get that "Sorry babe" look from him and I'm lying there really frustrated because I need a fucking release. I can cum fairly easy with my bf, but I need him pay more focused attention to me and that takes little more than 3 minutes.
Cashmere Star
07-30-2015, 09:47 PM
I only fucked two guys so far and none of them made me come. :( And it's funny because in my dreams I would be doing unsexual things, like walking, and then just suddenly feel the most intense orgasm.
lol @ the owl :D
Naida
08-01-2015, 03:53 PM
Not sure why it feels better, but I do know that uncut guys cum a lot quicker. My bf is uncut and if he doesn't pace himself, let me rephrase that, if I don't pace him he cums in about 3 minutes flat. Then I get that "Sorry babe" look from him and I'm lying there really frustrated because I need a fucking release. I can cum fairly easy with my bf, but I need him pay more focused attention to me and that takes little more than 3 minutes.
Part of why it feels better is the grinding motion of their thrusts. If you're still having to stimulate yourself, why not try asking him to use deeper, grinding ones more often? Another reason is that the skin basically locks in moisture, while cut dick tends to have a way of pulling it out of you where it can evaporate. There's also the question of how his coronal ridge may be rubbing your rugae. For me, cut guys with a "mushroom" are downright intolerable to bang without a condom and/or lube, while guys with a smaller head and/or less pronounced ridge don't bother me.
jadey23
08-04-2015, 12:36 PM
I've only ever regularly orgasmed with my ex boyfriend -- he was a great fucker. Lol
Though I do feel like it took a lot of work each time on his part, he would kind of make room for me to rub my clit and it would take a while but he was definitely motivated to get me off before he got off so it worked out.
Honestly the sex with him was incredibly mind blowing and creative, the downside was he was a horrible boyfriend and his eye was always straying (and of course he ended up cheating on me). He was always pressuring me into a threesome which I wasn't comfortable with, and he just had a lot of issues overall. Great fucker though foreal.
SimoneGray
08-04-2015, 05:07 PM
Can't believe I only found this thread today...I'm kinda glad I'm not alone. Really thought it was a medical issue or there was something wrong with me. Problem with me is that I need mental stimulation, a lot of it to get into sex and no guy wants to do that. I get WAY more turned on reading and imagining things than when its happening live. I also get major anxiety about my partner not finishing etc, so that kinda gets in the way of my own. I also actually need a connection of some sort with the other person as well as the feeling that they are ok with my body the way it is.
To be honest I have given up on ever having the type of sex that I will 100% enjoy, maybe that's why I don't really do it anymore.