View Full Version : Annoying Things Your Significant Other Does To Get You To Have Sex
DesuvsDeath
04-21-2015, 01:36 AM
In scenario B & C, I am already extremely aroused and a 5-minute HJ would take very little effort on her part.
BUT in both cases you're still pressuring her for sexual contact in a situation in which she's already declined.
Which is why I view it as not okay. Just my opinion, obviously, but if someone says no... that should be that.
I'm going to go ahead and call this all subjective. To you... it's a simple task that someone should do if they love you.
For me... the idea that someone expects that "love" means I get to get them off whenever they feel like, regardless of whether or not I want it is absolutely horrifying.
lurkingtitties
04-21-2015, 07:39 AM
In scenario B & C, I am already extremely aroused and a 5-minute HJ would take very little effort on her part. If my GF did not love me enough to offer me some relief in these situations (assuming it happened many times), it would be OVER for me. I am not asking her to clean my dirty car, I am asking her to be my lover, which is what I expect of a romantic relationship. What is romantic or "heavenly bliss" about being sexually rejected by the person you love and feeling sexually frustrated all the time?
If a woman wants to be my GF and my exclusive lover, the underlying assumption is that she intends to fulfill my sexual needs. Otherwise, why should she demand exclusivity and deprive me of the opportunity to seek sexual fulfillment from other women that are more keen to oblige? If you are frequently not in the mood, then, fine - let's just be pals - and step aside, because, I can find plenty of woman that will be in the mood.
If I love someone, I will be responsive to all her needs, including her sexual needs, and I expect the same from her. If she is horny and I am not (unlikely, but, not impossible), I would gladly massage her body until she reached the point of satisfaction. It is not that difficult to accomplish and certainly not "disgusting". It seems to me that anyone who truly loved me would feel inclined to do the same for me.
I just ended a relationship because dude was pulling scenario B & C all the damn time, for months. Really soured things for me. I completely agree with you that it's wrong for someone to expect monogamy and then not take care of their partner's sexual needs.
Elektra Luxx
04-21-2015, 08:44 AM
This would be my bf posting; I'm trying to watch the game, my team playing terrible and my very beautiful gf is walking in front of the TV just wearing panties trying to get my attention. Excuse me I'm watching the game. I'm sitting on the couch and she proceeds to straddle me and whisper things she wants to do to me. I finally say "after the game babe". She is so annoying sometimes.
why not just to have sex?
issue = solved
SweetJulia
04-24-2015, 09:04 PM
I so wish this was in ladies only.
Selina M
04-26-2015, 01:34 AM
Okay, this is more of a psychological thing... and I get where it could be sweet or cute that he's concerned. But this happens every few months. I think my bf is just super insecure and has been treated badly in the past.
I sometimes go through a week, or at least several days, where I don't want to do it. It's just one thing after another; brain won't shut off or shift to that direction, then PMSing, then physically exhausted from work.
That stuff is literally all it is, it is nothing to do with him or the relationship... but he'll pull out the super serious/sad "Is something wrong?" and we have to have this 'talk' where I spend 20 minutes convincing him that no, I am not drifting away/planning to leave/whatever, he's still attractive, blah blah. And then I'm all super conscious of how often we do it and I end up doing it almost every day just to demonstrate that everything is fine.
Elektra Luxx
04-26-2015, 07:17 PM
^^^^^Awwwww!! It's sweet and cute. I love sensitivity in a guy. He a keeper.
Selina M
04-26-2015, 07:41 PM
^ I KNOW. I feel so bad even listing it as an 'annoying' thing... He's never had a healthy long term relationship, they were all awful and went down in fire and brimstone, and I guess that every time the sex stopped, they were cheating or else things were about to get really dramatic and fucked up... hence now he's on alert all the time.
So I get it... but sometimes I wanna shake him and break it down into caveman simple explanation. "Me girl! Me have fluctuating hormones! Me walk around in stilettos and dance for 6 hours! Me no always want sex!" The ridiculous part is that I'd be perfectly happy to take care of his needs, but he won't enjoy it if he can tell I'm only doing it for him :banghead:
Elektra Luxx
04-26-2015, 08:10 PM
So I get it... but sometimes I wanna shake him and break it down into caveman simple explanation. "Me girl! Me have fluctuating hormones! Me walk around in stilettos and dance for 6 hours! Me no always want sex!"
The ridiculous part is that I'd be perfectly happy to take care of his needs, but he won't enjoy it if he can tell I'm only doing it for him :banghead:
First - OMG!!! Seriously funny!!! I can't stop laughing!!!
"Me girl! Me have fluctuating hormones! Me walk around in stilettos and dance for 6 hours! Me no always want sex!"
Second - Awwwww!!!! again. "he won't enjoy it if he can tell I'm only doing it for him" Really? OMG!!! He really is a keeper. You have to hang on to this guy.
carmen_b
04-27-2015, 01:10 AM
Mine is the same. I'm a bad actress and he likes real enthusiasm. Luckily I'm very rarely not up for action.
^ I KNOW. I feel so bad even listing it as an 'annoying' thing... He's never had a healthy long term relationship, they were all awful and went down in fire and brimstone, and I guess that every time the sex stopped, they were cheating or else things were about to get really dramatic and fucked up... hence now he's on alert all the time.
So I get it... but sometimes I wanna shake him and break it down into caveman simple explanation. "Me girl! Me have fluctuating hormones! Me walk around in stilettos and dance for 6 hours! Me no always want sex!" The ridiculous part is that I'd be perfectly happy to take care of his needs, but he won't enjoy it if he can tell I'm only doing it for him :banghead:
Vackra
05-03-2015, 03:12 PM
Maybe I underestimate how fortunate I am because I don't ever feel physically or emotionally exhausted from work, even though I work 4 days. I usually only work 5-6 hours a night though. But even sometimes if I'm not TOTALLY sold on having sex, I do it anyway because I get into it warming up. I'm not going to lie. My husband is sexy as fuck. I will take any and every chance to get him naked.
jack0177057
05-06-2015, 08:22 AM
Vackra - I love your attitude.
This is what EVERY PERSON wants to hear from their spouse or SO - "My husband/wife/SO is sexy as fuck. I will take any and every chance to get him/her naked."
This is what ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wants to hear from their spouse or SO (under normal circumstances, making exceptions for sickness, exhaustion, being upset about work or family issues, etc.) - "No, I don't want to have sex with you, and the things you do to try to get me to have sex with you are annoying."
In the second case - Why are these people even together?
jack0177057
05-06-2015, 08:29 AM
[Accidental duplicate post.]
KikiGem
05-06-2015, 12:37 PM
Well if it's a handjob you want, why not take care of that yourself? You've got a hand right?
jack0177057
05-06-2015, 03:38 PM
Well if it's a handjob you want, why not take care of that yourself? You've got a hand right?
Absolutely, that is a better option than wasting time with someone who is not sexually interested nor responsive.
If my GF or wife called my sexual advances "annoying", I would prefer to be alone.
And then, I would look for someone like lurkingtitties, Electra Luxx or Vacra - they have the right amount of libido and the right attitude about romance and sex.
jack0177057
05-06-2015, 04:14 PM
What it really comes down to is sexual compatibility. This is very often overlooked by people, but, is a critical element in a relationship.
I have a very high libido, and I cannot apologize for that. That is part of my essential nature.
But, nor should I impose my high libido on a low-libido woman, I understand that.
We should choose our lovers and romantic partners to match our libido levels - or there will be resentment on both sides.
I once had a GF tell me that I placed too much emphasis on sex, and I was not romantic enough, and I told her it was difficult to be romantic when I was feeling rejected and sexually frustrated all the time. After that, I dated someone who was more compatible with my libido level (and kinky), and we were a very romantic couple, because, our sex life was awesome, and the sexual, emotional and psychological energies between us were very positive.
Kitcatt
05-06-2015, 04:22 PM
Gotta chime in on this one.
I have an ex who used to only want to get physical in any way when he wanted to have sex. Like, zero cuddling, no contact, light kiss, if that, then suddenly he'd be all over me and get pissed when I didn't want to have sex with him. This happened as our relationship progressed over a period of about 10 years and he didn't really feel the need to have the natural lead ins to sexual activity (hanging out, chatting, cuddling, etc). At a certain point I just got to the point where I would schedule an odd day or two a week to fuck him to shut his ass up and have him get off me. That lasted about 5 years, 5 years where I wondered if there was something wrong with me because I had zero desire to have sex at all. Like, no masturbation, no nothing. It took me a while to realize that the relationship had seriously murdered my sex drive. When sex becomes a chore, well...you don't want to do it.
What I'm saying is, guys, if you're not putting in the daily work to make her WANT to have sex with you, she's not going to WANT to have sex with you. It's not a light switch you can flip on and off all the time. Feeling like you're nothing but a place to stick your dick is not sexy.
jack0177057
05-06-2015, 04:30 PM
^ Good point, Kitcatt. Great post. In my bad relationship, I lost the desire to be romantic, because I was hurt by the sexual rejection. (I am romantic by nature, but, I lost the inspiration.) Of course, my lack of romance made my GF's sexual responsiveness even worst. It became a vicious cycle and the relationship plummeted in a fatal downward spiral.
KikiGem
05-06-2015, 07:47 PM
Absolutely, that is a better option than wasting time with someone who is not sexually interested nor responsive.
If my GF or wife called my sexual advances "annoying", I would prefer to be alone.
And then, I would look for someone like lurkingtitties, Electra Luxx or Vacra - they have the right amount of libido and the right attitude about romance and sex.
So if my boyfriend is repeatedly poking at my ass, dry humping me, grabbing at me like a teenager, and disrespecting me and my body, I am in the wrong for thinking that's annoying? Even after repeatedly asking him to stop? No, I have every right to be annoyed. That kind of behavior is utter selfishness and disrespect on his part.
Women aren't horny robots 24/7. There's a lot that happens in life that puts sex on the back burner. Obviously you don't really care about your SO if you would leave her for turning you down. Life isn't a porno, please quit your whining and accept that women are *human beings* mind-blowing, I know, but it's true.
Selina M
05-06-2015, 09:30 PM
This is what ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wants to hear from their spouse or SO (under normal circumstances, making exceptions for sickness, exhaustion, being upset about work or family issues, etc.) - "No, I don't want to have sex with you, and the things you do to try to get me to have sex with you are annoying."
In the second case - Why are these people even together?
You can't make a blanket statement like that. People can be perfectly compatible except for one of them being annoying about sex. Everybody has things their partners do that piss them off, it doesn't make them not compatible. Also, how are they gonna know it annoys you if you don't tell them?
Seriously, if we are not in the mood, we're not fucking in the mood. The whole "She wore a tight dress out, I was so turned on, the least you can do is jack me off" thing is disgusting. That's like walking into the club telling us we owe you extras because us being half-naked got you aroused.
Men are such whiny bitches.
DesuvsDeath
05-07-2015, 08:01 AM
Literally. Refusing to be pressured for sex doesn't have anything to do with your sex drive, or your libido, or whatever else.
That's just asking to be treated with basic decency and respect.
*grumbles* fucking owe me a handjob.
jack0177057
05-07-2015, 12:24 PM
You can't make a blanket statement like that. People can be perfectly compatible except for one of them being annoying about sex. Everybody has things their partners do that piss them off, it doesn't make them not compatible. Also, how are they gonna know it annoys you if you don't tell them?
Like I've said many times, I am not talking about a situation where one spouse is sick or not in the mood because of exhaustion or problems at work, I am talking about a PATTERN of REPEATED BEHAVIOR where the high sex drive person wants sex every day and makes NORMAL sexual advances at his/her low sex drive GF/wife/husband every day and that person recoils in disgust, because she/he feels that sex more than once a week is as repulsive as cleaning a dirty cars or washing a stacks of dirty dishes.
High sex drive person will be frustrated and will become moody, resentful (feeling rejected), and will lose his/her inspiration to be 'sweet' and romantic. Low sex drive person will feel that she/he is treated like a piece of meat. I am not judging either the high sex drive nor the low sex drive person, I am just saying this is a sexual incompatibility problem that is not going to go away, and will generate a vicious cycle.
Seriously, if we are not in the mood, we're not fucking in the mood. The whole "She wore a tight dress out, I was so turned on, the least you can do is jack me off" thing is disgusting. That's like walking into the club telling us we owe you extras because us being half-naked got you aroused.
Yes, your SO getting turned on by you is as disgusting as the horny creepy jerkoff in the corner of the club that is leering at you.
I think you miss the whole point - (A) your BF is (presumably) extremely attracted to you and it does not take much to get him excited about you, (B) you are in a sexual relationship with your BF which involves mutual expression of sexual attraction and mutual response to that sexual attraction, and (C) dancing is a erotic foreplay - it would be VERY SAD FOR YOU if your SO was NOT turned on by you when: he loves you + he is sexually attracted to you + he is already in a sexual relationship with you + your attire maximizes your sex appeal + he is dancing with you.
Literally. Refusing to be pressured for sex doesn't have anything to do with your sex drive, or your libido, or whatever else. That's just asking to be treated with basic decency and respect.
I agree with what you are saying. But, have you been listening to the women who posted about their feelings of neglect when they are the ones getting sexually rejected?
I wonder how you would respond if you had planned a seductive treat for your SO, put on your sexiest lingerie to surprise him, and when your SO arrived, his response was - [Pushing you out of his way] "Oh, shit baby, now?... Really, now?... Fuck, the game is on!... You know I gotta watch the game!... THAT is really important to me, baby!.... Please, just not now..." [Sits in front of the couch and totally ignores you for the next 3 hours. Then, he eats the food you prepared for him, tells you he is very tired, and goes home.] And imagine that happens 9 times out of 10 when you want to be intimate with him (either a game is on, or he wants to watch TV, or he is tired, or just not in the mood).
jack0177057
05-07-2015, 04:01 PM
Some time ago, a pink posted a thread here in Life Support about her BF not being sexually responsive to her. She said she did many thing to try to get his attention, like getting naked and sitting on his lap when he was trying to work on his computer. Rather than getting a sexual response from him, he would become annoyed by her interruption when he was on the computer.
Needless to say, she was hurt, and her ego was bruised pretty badly by his lack of interest. She sought advice on what to do.
Most of the pinks advised her to leave him.
Not one single pink told her that she had no right to pressure him for sex, and that she should quit being annoying.
DesuvsDeath
05-07-2015, 10:31 PM
I wonder how you would respond if you had planned a seductive treat for your SO, put on your sexiest lingerie to surprise him, and when your SO arrived, his response was - [Pushing you out of his way] "Oh, shit baby, now?... Really, now?... Fuck, the game is on!... You know I gotta watch the game!... THAT is really important to me, baby!.... Please, just not now..." [Sits in front of the couch and totally ignores you for the next 3 hours. Then, he eats the food you prepared for him, tells you he is very tired, and goes home.] And imagine that happens 9 times out of 10 when you want to be intimate with him (either a game is on, or he wants to watch TV, or he is tired, or just not in the mood).
A. If I paid attention to my partner, I'm sure I'd know what time the game is on and wouldn't be trying to fuck while I know he has something he'd rather be doing.
B. If this person is coming over often enough that there's been a chance to establish a 9/10 pattern... I obviously like them for reasons other than sex... so I'd happily focus our relationship on aspects other than sex.
C. OBVIOUSLY this seduction technique doesn't do anything for my partner... so why the FUCK would I keep trying it over and over? That's fucking stupid.
Some time ago, a pink posted a thread here in Life Support about her BF not being sexually responsive to her. She said she did many thing to try to get his attention, like getting naked and sitting on his lap when he was trying to work on his computer. Rather than getting a sexual response from him, he would become annoyed by her interruption when he was on the computer..........Not one single pink told her that she had no right to pressure him for sex, and that she should quit being annoying.
Well they should have. That's SO rude. Why would you come up and interrupt someone who is WORKING to try and fuck? How is that supposed to seduce them? "Look how little consideration I have for you and your job, lol... doesn't that get you hot!?!?!"
Selina M
05-07-2015, 11:56 PM
I think YOU are missing the point sir.
We aren't saying we aren't "grateful" or whatthefuckever that they're attracted to us. We are annoyed at how they choose to express that.
I didn't say being turned on is disgusting; expecting us to "service" you just because you're turned on is disgusting.
I think it is VERY SAD FOR YOU (nice emphasis dude) that you feel like it's a reflection of whether your SO cares or not, if they do or don't give you a handjob. If mine started expecting shit every time I looked nice, I'd start dressing like a garbage lady.
wr1ter
05-08-2015, 07:10 AM
Back a few years ago, I dated this one guy... The relationship was going downhill and this is one of the things that led to my absolute BREAKING POINT. We lived together for a short time, and he would actually ask me dozens and dozens of times if I would have sex with him. I'm not exaggerating. >:( Even if he knew I was busy! I'd have to cave and say yes before he'd shut up... and soon after that he started faking being asleep while rubbing his boner against me in bed. I would get so mad. One day I actually got out of bed and he sat up and cursed at me. I swear to god! I hated him by that point, and was making arrangements to leave.
I just got out of a relationship with a guy who was constantly turned on... I have a naturally low sex drive, so I'd indulge him occasionally. He was usually really respectful of me, but there was this one day he was over at my house and wanted to take a shower/relieve himself sexually, and kept begging me to fool around with him. He followed me around my apartment, NAKED, pressing his boner against my back until I eventually snapped at him to lay off. He never tried that again! :P So over guys for the time being.
KikiGem
05-08-2015, 08:32 AM
*sigh* Look, jack, you've come to the wrong place for sympathy. No one is crying for you that your high libido is not being 'serviced' enough. Go back to an MRA board and I'm sure they will be more than supportive of your 'struggle.'
jack0177057
05-08-2015, 09:51 AM
A. If I paid attention to my partner, I'm sure I'd know what time the game is on and wouldn't be trying to fuck while I know he has something he'd rather be doing.
B. If this person is coming over often enough that there's been a chance to establish a 9/10 pattern... I obviously like them for reasons other than sex... so I'd happily focus our relationship on aspects other than sex.
C. OBVIOUSLY this seduction technique doesn't do anything for my partner... so why the FUCK would I keep trying it over and over? That's fucking stupid.
You miss the point - Today, watching the game is more important than sharing intimacy with you. Tomorrow, hanging out with the boys is more important than sharing intimacy with you. The next day, work is more important, etc. Apparently, this is okay with you; sex is not big deal for you, you can take it or leave it. There is nothing wrong with your attitude, that is absolutely fine - FOR YOU.
To ME, a relationship with a lack of interest in sexual intimacy and a lack of sexual response is not going to last.
Well they should have. That's SO rude. Why would you come up and interrupt someone who is WORKING to try and fuck? How is that supposed to seduce them? "Look how little consideration I have for you and your job, lol... doesn't that get you hot!?!?!"
Most guys would not consider your hot GF stripping her clothes and jumping on your lap to be rude.
People like you (sex is not important, I can take it or leave it) and people like me (sexual intimacy is the cornerstone of a romantic relationship) will never see eye to eye on this. We can argue all day and night and accomplish nothing.
The best solution is that people in these opposing camps should not try to form a relationship. It is doomed to failure. This is why so many frustrated married men and married women are spending time in stripclubs and nightclubs. This is why cheating websites like AshleyMadison are so popular. Men and women who are sexually frustrated in sexually incompatible relationships are either going to leave or cheat. This is not criticism against anyone... I'm just saying you have to pair people that are sexually compatible.
I think YOU are missing the point sir.
We aren't saying we aren't "grateful" or whatthefuckever that they're attracted to us. We are annoyed at how they choose to express that.
I didn't say being turned on is disgusting; expecting us to "service" you just because you're turned on is disgusting.
How a guy expresses sexual interest to his GF requires that he read HER emotions, HER psychology and HER attitude that day. I understand what you are saying, guys can be very idiotic about this. A guy could watch 50 Shades of Grey and come out with all kinds of idiotic ideas. I have dated women that get turned on by tender cuddling, kisses on the neck and shoulders, etc.; I have dated women that like a more 'dominant and rough' approach (assuming that they are in a receptive mood); and I have dated women that change preferences from day to day. It can be hard to keep up - what was naughty and fun one night, becomes a turn off the next. One night she wants me to 'subdue' her and take her 'forcibly' as my sex slave, but, the next time we're together, she wants to be worshiped and treated like a goddess.
We get all kinds of mixed messages from TV, porn, movies, etc., and from the different girls we've dated. The best advice I can give you is to have a conversation with your BF and be very clear about what you consider sexy, what is not sexy, and what is downright offensive. After that, if he continues to be offensive and disrespectful - Why would you want to be in a relationship with him?
I think it is VERY SAD FOR YOU (nice emphasis dude) that you feel like it's a reflection of whether your SO cares or not, if they do or don't give you a handjob. If mine started expecting shit every time I looked nice, I'd start dressing like a garbage lady.
Well, thank God that my GF has a different attitude. If she knows that I am very horny, she will offer to give me a HJ or BJ. We are a very romantic and very sensual couple. We fuck or make love (depending on HER mood) about 5 times a week (she orgasms 90% of the time), plus, she gives me 1 or 2 quickie HJs or BJs per week, when she is not in the mood for full sex.
It took me a while to learn, but, I did finally. - Sexual compatibility is very critical in a relationship. If you both share the same level of sensuality and have compatible sex drives, every thing else can be negotiated. Fights become shorter, because you both want to jump in the sack together, and making-up is the best part.
charlotte.
05-08-2015, 11:47 AM
jfc this thread reads like a fucking manual for partner rape.
Selina M
05-08-2015, 12:37 PM
Jack I never asked for advice about my relationship. There is not a damn thing wrong with my relationship and it's very presumptuous of you to assume so. Just because he's done one thing that unintentionally annoyed me doesn't mean something is wrong.
You're fighting a losing battle by trying to push your concept of a healthy sexual relationship on us.
Can a mod PLEASE move this to Ladies Only?!
jack0177057
05-08-2015, 03:47 PM
Jack I never asked for advice about my relationship. There is not a damn thing wrong with my relationship and it's very presumptuous of you to assume so. Just because he's done one thing that unintentionally annoyed me doesn't mean something is wrong.
You're fighting a losing battle by trying to push your concept of a healthy sexual relationship on us.
Can a mod PLEASE move this to Ladies Only?!
There is no need to get snarky and bratty, we are having an adult discussion about relationship issues. I have not insulted anyone or been rude to anyone.
If your BF does something stupid that offends you, TELL HIM IT OFFENDS YOU. IF HE STILL DOES IT, HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, LEAVE HIM. How is whining on this forum going to solve your problems?
Don't you think it is presumptuous of you to ask that this thread be moved. You did not start this thread, Ms.Belle did.
Okay, I'm getting pushed out of this thread by people that would rather whine about an issue than have an adult conversation about how to resolve it. You can have the thread.
jack0177057
05-08-2015, 03:48 PM
[Duplicate.]
KikiGem
05-08-2015, 05:43 PM
Okay, I'm getting pushed out of this thread by people that would rather whine about an issue than have an adult conversation about how to resolve it. You can have the thread.
Oh you're leaving, thank god! *applause*
We were all doing just fine until you showed up and started talking about your libido, giving "advice" that NO ONE asked for, arguing with us, and telling other poster's how they should feel about sex. Telling people that they are wrong if they're ideas about sex don't match up with yours. This is a vent thread, for people to let out some steam. Nowhere did I get the impression that anyone was looking to 'resolve the issue.'
You never wanted to have an 'adult discussion' and you haven't been. All you did was start a massive threadjack to turn the attention to you. Then you started forcing your ideas down everyone's throat and obviously people are getting annoyed. I guess you thought this thread was in desperate need of a 'man's perspective' so along you came to clue in us stupid ladies who clearly have it all wrong about sex and romance. You have been nothing but annoying, arrogant and presumptuous.
Oh and there was nothing 'snarky' or 'bratty' about Selina's post nor was it presumptuous of her to request that the thread be moved. Way to grasp at straws though, dude. You lost the battle and you know it.
Aurora_Sunset
05-08-2015, 05:49 PM
Alright, enough threadjacking from everyone.
Okay, I'm getting pushed out of this thread by people that would rather whine about an issue than have an adult conversation about how to resolve it. You can have the thread.
The issue I'm taking with this as a mod, jack, is that this thread was specifically created to vent. Nobody asked for relationship advice or to have it turn into a conversation, adult or otherwise, about how to resolve an issue. You have every right to think it's stupid to complain on an internet forum instead of working things out differently, but sometimes people just want to complain, and that was specifically why this thread was made - not so people could be told how wrong they are for complaining. If you or anyone else want to talk about sexual compatibility/incompatibility and how to deal, it could be a good topic of a different thread, but getting off-topic for pages and pages, needs to stop here.
DesuvsDeath
05-08-2015, 05:53 PM
People like you (sex is not important, I can take it or leave it) and people like me (sexual intimacy is the cornerstone of a romantic relationship) will never see eye to eye on this. We can argue all day and night and accomplish nothing.
Just because I'm able to recognize that there is more to a relationship than sex, doesn't mean I don't consider sex important. Of course we're never going to see eye to eye. You pressure people into performing sex acts they've specifically stated they don't want to do. I would never do that.
On the subject of venting. I once ACTUALLY dated a guy like jack when I was young and too stupid to know any better who seemed to think that he was 'owed' sex for existing. He'd constantly just try to fuck me regardless of what I was doing or whether or not I CLEARLY wasn't in the mood and then would whine about everything under the sun and how it was the 'least I could do because ____' if I said no.
And then when I /actually/ said no he'd act like having to jerk himself off was the most horrible thing ever.
Vackra
05-08-2015, 07:03 PM
I have to admit, the image I'm getting in my head of sitting there jerking a guy off like I'm 15 is not very appealing. I feel it'd be kind of rude for my husband to tell me I could at least jerk him off, if I ever DID refuse him. It's a little detached and weird for me.
Selina M
05-08-2015, 07:10 PM
Oh and there was nothing 'snarky' or 'bratty' about Selina's post nor was it presumptuous of her to request that the thread be moved. Way to grasp at straws though, dude. You lost the battle and you know it.
Thank you dahling, and thank you Aurora for your post. Typical man, start calling names when someone is disagreeing with them. The snarky/bratty/presumptuous bit is hilarious, seeing as a few weeks ago, a mod told me I had a reputation for being mature and classy on here :rotfl:
So yeah... back to the venting this post was originally meant for... if this argument hasn't scared off the other posters.
Re: jacking them off... I always thought the general male consensus was that they can do that themselves, that we aren't as efficient as they are at it, and that basically mutual activities should not include a hand job to completion. Agreed with Vackra, little weird, that's the kind of thing I would consider "servicing" them.
Aurora_Sunset
05-08-2015, 07:18 PM
Re: jacking them off... I always thought the general male consensus was that they can do that themselves, that we aren't as efficient as they are at it, and that basically mutual activities should not include a hand job to completion.
Yes, I actually did have a bf once who, when I wasn't in the mood to do anything else and offered to give him a HJ, he turned me down and said that it wasn't worth it. That guys could always do handjobs better themselves, so it's pointless, and don't even bother. Then my last bf would get offended if I didn't at least offer him a HJ, when I had internalized that it was "pointless." Different strokes for different folks, I guess?.... pun TOTALLY intended lol
Then again, that bf screwed me up a lot in terms of what I considered "normal" and not in regards to sex. Took a long time to erase his bullshit from my head.
Selina M
05-08-2015, 07:28 PM
Yes, I actually did have a bf once who, when I wasn't in the mood to do anything else and offered to give him a HJ, he turned me down and said that it wasn't worth it. That guys could always do handjobs better themselves, so it's pointless, and don't even bother. Then my last bf would get offended if I didn't at least offer him a HJ, when I had internalized that it was "pointless." Different strokes for different folks, I guess?.... pun TOTALLY intended lol
Gah! Can't win. I will do a hj sometimes, but it feels like a futile attempt a lot of the time. I think they are used to having it the way THEY do it, so anything we do is not the same and doesn't work as well. That's when it's like "Um... can I just pretend I'm live porn and you do it yourself?"
Gah! Can't win. I will do a hj sometimes, but it feels like a futile attempt a lot of the time. I think they are used to having it the way THEY do it, so anything we do is not the same and doesn't work as well. That's when it's like "Um... can I just pretend I'm live porn and you do it yourself?"
Yeah...getting a handjob is like what Michael Jordan felt watching the rest of his team play. "What the hell are you doing?! just give me the ball and get out of the way".
DesuvsDeath
05-10-2015, 07:14 AM
Yeah...getting a handjob is like what Michael Jordan felt watching the rest of his team play. "What the hell are you doing?! just give me the ball and get out of the way".
Yeah, I've had like... two good HJ's ever. Everyone else it's been like "Oh no, nonono. Oh that's so bad. Oh god. Who taught you how a vagina works? Oh my god. Get out. Go away. Go somewhere else so I can try to salvage this alone."
dokturok
05-10-2015, 08:46 AM
What are some good ways to initiate sex?
wr1ter
05-10-2015, 03:14 PM
On the subject of venting. I once ACTUALLY dated a guy like jack when I was young and too stupid to know any better who seemed to think that he was 'owed' sex for existing. He'd constantly just try to fuck me regardless of what I was doing or whether or not I CLEARLY wasn't in the mood and then would whine about everything under the sun and how it was the 'least I could do because ____' if I said no.
And then when I /actually/ said no he'd act like having to jerk himself off was the most horrible thing ever.
I try to avoid guys like this. Oh no, you have to jerk off because your lady doesn't feel like rubbing your genitals for a while. What a nightmare! But it seems like all the guys that like me are the 'why don't you just get me off since you don't feel like having sex' types. I don't know about everyone else, but if I did that it'd start to feel like a chore... and sexual acts with your partner shouldn't feel like a chore.
xStacey
05-10-2015, 03:42 PM
What are some good ways to initiate sex?
I like light touching, gentle caress, kisses on the neck, ears and I have a lot of trouble saying no if my partner starts eating me out even if I wasn't in the mood earlier before.
Kitcatt
05-10-2015, 04:49 PM
I think generally not giving off the impression of "I have a boner, fix my boner problem" is a good way to initiate sex. I don't think guys understand that this is what leaks out of them, and that girls KNOW that's what they're asking. If you want the girl to have sex with you, want to have sex with the girl and make it seem that way. Not "a" girl or PUUUUSSSSYYY. If you have a hard-on and you want to just get rid of it, jerk off.
crystalize
05-13-2015, 06:36 PM
I've had exes do the dry humping and other things mentioned. I gotta say that when I was still into them, it wouldn't bother me.
The only thing I HATE is when they pressure me to be on top or somehow insinuate that I have to put on some kind of "performance". I will be on top if I please so, thank you very much. And, no you will not get a sloppy BJ on demand, that's reserved for drunken night.