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R-209
06-07-2015, 07:17 PM
The way people saunter around the grocery store, block aisles, blah blah, makes me want to scream.

I can't stand this! I try to be polite and say "Excuse me," but they won't budge. THERE IS A STARBUCKS INSIDE THE STORE! Go have your damn conversation there.


I didn't know you could order groceries? That's great.

Amazon Prime is pretty great for certain non perishables. I just ordered cat food. I imagine in a few years, their drones will be able to deliver anything. I can't believe I just typed that.

Oh, and who loves the self-checkout lanes?

kaninchen
06-07-2015, 09:13 PM
Oh, and who loves the self-checkout lanes?

I love self-checkout too, except when everyone in line behind me is mad because I'm that bitch paying with all $1s. It's not my fault the machine takes forever to process them though!

JessaJade
06-08-2015, 01:29 AM
I hate the supermarket too but if I started having my shopping delivered it would be the nail in the coffin for me, that's often the only thing that forces me outside when I'm feeling extra hermit-like and can't/won't order food in.

I just cancelled a hair appointment for today cause I can't face the small talk. I have been anxious about it since yesterday, it's ridiculous but getting hair done is one of the worst things for me, I think because you are stuck in the chair and have that forced interaction (with someone who is also in a position of power, they have control of how your hair turns out). At least in shops you are free to wander away from all other humans if you need to.

R-209
06-08-2015, 08:25 AM
I loved ordering groceries online! Not in the budget anymore, but Im looking forward to the day I can order home delivery again.

Have you compared prices between the store and Amazon? A lot of what I order is MUCH cheaper. They did raise the fee for Prime, but I'm finding that the savings covers that pretty quickly. Example: I needed a heavy-duty cat litter scoop, which was $18 at PetSmart, but just a little over $10 on Amazon. And that included free two-day shipping (although if you opt for "no rush" shipping, they'll give you credit toward music or e-books). Then there's all the movies/TV/music that are included and I am going to stop now because I'm sounding like a total shill...



I just cancelled a hair appointment for today cause I can't face the small talk. I have been anxious about it since yesterday, it's ridiculous but getting hair done is one of the worst things for me, I think because you are stuck in the chair and have that forced interaction (with someone who is also in a position of power, they have control of how your hair turns out).

Haircuts are the worst. I always put it off as long as possible, even though I can't stand it when my hair gets too long. I might have another two weeks before I have to go in again. I seem to get the chatty stylist every time. My hairstyle is so simple; I've considered learning to cut it myself. I've even thought of shaving my head, but I don't think I'm one of those guys who can pull that look off.

I wish there was such a thing as an everlasting haircut.

kirakonstantin
06-09-2015, 05:44 AM
I'm extremely, horribly introverted and, to be quite blunt, most people piss me off if I have to deal with them for any length of time. It's been a LOT worse since my dad died, so I've been closing myself off a lot. At one point, I'd gotten so bad that I changed my phone number and refused to give it to anyone but my mom and my best friend. I just got tired of dealing with other people's petty bullshit and all of the other assholish stuff people do.

I took up a lot of solo hobbies, like acrylic painting and started making my own dubstep, just as an excuse to be left alone. I stopped going on dates, because nobody made it past two before they inevitably wanted to push me into a committed relationship and I balked at having to spend even more time with them. I started grocery shopping at 3 am, after I found a 24 hour grocery store. I pretend that I don't speak English, so people don't try to approach me. If I don't have something to do outside, I shut myself in with my animals and bury myself in Ableton or paint.

I finally met someone I actually feel comfortable with, but that's because he's a lot like me and we get eachother.

xxxGothBarbie
06-09-2015, 07:36 PM
I'm extremely, horribly introverted and, to be quite blunt, most people piss me off if I have to deal with them for any length of time. It's been a LOT worse since my dad died, so I've been closing myself off a lot. At one point, I'd gotten so bad that I changed my phone number and refused to give it to anyone but my mom and my best friend. I just got tired of dealing with other people's petty bullshit and all of the other assholish stuff people do.

I took up a lot of solo hobbies, like acrylic painting and started making my own dubstep, just as an excuse to be left alone. I stopped going on dates, because nobody made it past two before they inevitably wanted to push me into a committed relationship and I balked at having to spend even more time with them. I started grocery shopping at 3 am, after I found a 24 hour grocery store. I pretend that I don't speak English, so people don't try to approach me. If I don't have something to do outside, I shut myself in with my animals and bury myself in Ableton or paint.

I finally met someone I actually feel comfortable with, but that's because he's a lot like me and we get eachother.

^ That's awesome girl! I hope I end up finding someone as cool as your new lover <3

Aurora_Sunset
06-09-2015, 08:31 PM
After reading this thread, I went in search of grocery delivery in my area... I actually found a service and I'm totally gonna try it out when I get home from vacation. I loathe grocery shopping.

Optimist
06-10-2015, 09:54 AM
I think I'm coming out of my anti-social phase. I'd like to. It's been getting painfully negative, hating people all the time.

A great thing to do at those times is spend time with children, old folks, families, they make you reconnect with hope in humanity. Get out into nature and feel the breeze, hear the birds, etc. Go to an artistic place like an art gallery, folk performance, ethnic fair where you can learn new things eat new food and see the world through a child's eyes. It's like the fountain of youth. It's great to see guys doing things like laugh with their children or teaching people instead of being controlling douche bags.

AlicexEden
06-10-2015, 03:12 PM
Unfortunately it's usually important to fight those types of feelings. I didn't and ended up developing agoraphobia. Now I haven't left my house more than a dozen times in the last 10 months. The longer you wait to feel better without making a constant effort to push through the anxiety, the harder it becomes to start working on it later. I wish I'd been able to just stop this when it started months ago, now my life is basically in shambles.

~*SwanPrincess*~
06-12-2015, 10:51 AM
I can relate to all of this. I feel like my hermit tendencies get worse and worse the older I get. My great grandfather and great aunt both had agoraphobia and I feel like it's probably just a matter of time before I get that way too :(
I know it's probably better to push myself through all the uncomfortable feelings, but I feel like every time I leave the house, everything that happens just makes me want to get back to my house ASAP.
I am supposed to go to a pool party with my bf tomorrow and am definitely going to fake sick so I don't have to go. Things like that are my worst nightmare.
I have always been quiet and introverted, but I just can't help but wonder if somehow our jobs add to all this in some way...

SweetJulia
06-12-2015, 05:00 PM
I have photoshoots tomorrow and need the money, so not looking forward to it. It's gonna take me all of Sunday to recover, God help me if someone gets handsy.

kaninchen
06-20-2015, 09:37 PM
You know you're an introvert when you call a pizza place for delivery and hang up when they answer.

(Although fortunately I'm not too ridiculous because I did successfully call back and order my damn pizza like a normal adult!)

xxxGothBarbie
06-22-2015, 03:46 PM
well since I've moved into my shared room living situation, it has been nicer than I thought it would be bc my roomie is hardly ever in the room with me & I've had the entire apt to myself for the past 3 days yipppe :) She prob thinks I'm some weird hermit that never leaves the room haha I don't care, I feel comfy & safe in here. Yesterday I went out to get a few things at the store & that was def tolling. I hate hate having to interact with people:/

Cashmere Star
06-27-2015, 12:42 PM
I've always been a hermit in my regular life, but I crave human interaction. I am at a point when I am at the club, I don't want to go back home. I don't have any friends or someone to chill with at the strip club, I just stay polite but keep to myself. But I feel so much more at home in the club than my own home. Same as when I am at the gym, I want to stay at the gym forever. Then once I get home, I feel this dreadful silence and begin thinking about the club or the gym again, even though I know I really need to rest. I only come home when my feet starts hurting on the heels, or when I really can't lift anymore at the gym. All I need home for is to cook a proper meal for myself, sleep, and do art stuff (which is very lonely in itself cuz I don't share it with anyone). I have no friends, or at least no one I talk to regularly. I'll probably end up like Joyce Vincent, dead in her flat for 3 years without anyone noticing. With Christmas presents wrapped up for my nonexistent friends. And my art laying somewhere in the corner like a crappier Henry Darger. :p

Raven88
06-28-2015, 11:43 PM
I'm an introvert, and I've gone through periods where I didn't leave the house/yard for 6 weeks. This was when I was living at home and had a big yard and lots of entertainment and my mom went out to get all the necessities.

My best advice is to take baby steps. Go out for a walk for 15 minutes. The more you stay in, the worse it gets.

Optimist
07-03-2015, 12:19 PM
I think you struck a nerve OP so I've stickied this thread. Let's keep it going everybody!! :highfive: :goodvibes: :hyper:

wednesday86
07-03-2015, 05:29 PM
i'm going through this right now.....I'm really enjoying dancing again actually but it's like overdosing on social interaction after a few days, so on my days off I don't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone or leave my house...I don't even want to talk on the phone with my husband. I'll literally stay inside for days at a time after working a lot. I finally got out today and had my nails done. Luckily the lady was chatting with her buddies in vietnamese more than with me and I loved it. I just got to sit there and let her do her thing. She is now my favorite nail tech of all time. I cannot deal with small talk outside of work. It feels like I'm working/entertaining for free.

wednesday86
07-03-2015, 05:38 PM
You know you're an introvert when you call a pizza place for delivery and hang up when they answer.

(Although fortunately I'm not too ridiculous because I did successfully call back and order my damn pizza like a normal adult!)


I love places that let you order onlne! I just found a good chinese place by me where I can order and pay online and it's like the heavens parted! I don't order out much but that place is all kindsa bookmarked on my browser for days I don't feel like cooking. Why can't all delivery places have that?!

Flickdreams
07-06-2015, 01:06 AM
^ I don't think you can just snap out of it. I think its about putting small things into place into your life that support your spiritual wellbeing. I would expand but my hubbie just got home and we are about to have a really big talk :(

ImmoralAllure
07-06-2015, 04:14 AM
deleted

R-209
07-11-2015, 12:03 PM
So I've become rather dissatisfied with the support group I go to and somehow ended up starting my own. I'm not sure how it happened, exactly. I was just discussing mental health issues on my tiny hometown's FB page (this itself was pretty anxiety-inducing), and other people were actually interested and now it's becoming a Real Thing. I'm getting PMs from people asking when it's going to be and what it's going to be like. People want to meet with me to help set it up. My social anxiety is triggered just by exchanging a few sentences with people on Facebook! It's all a little overwhelming.

But a little exciting, too.

R-209
07-11-2015, 12:39 PM
^^ Thanks! But it's not a FB group, it's in real life! That ramps up the anxiety level just a bit. :) I hope nobody expects me to know what I'm doing!

Glamourmilf
07-11-2015, 08:47 PM
^^ Thanks! But it's not a FB group, it's in real life! That ramps up the anxiety level just a bit. :) I hope nobody expects me to know what I'm doing!

Oh geez! I guess I read that wrong. My heart is racing, just thinking of having to do that!

RelaxationTechniques
07-13-2015, 07:03 PM
I can totaly relate, of coursr.
I signed up to attend a meetup group for HSP's (highly sensitive prople), which is held once per month.
Ive yet to go to them because the drive alone made me so anxious that I just can't go.:help:

Sometimes you just need to take a few deep breaths and just kind of mentally dissipate the negative thoughts in your mind that come up when you think about situations like this. It's something I do with my clients, and it works pretty well.

RelaxationTechniques
07-15-2015, 10:31 PM
^^^ It's not the actual meeting that gives me anxiety, it's this insane bumper to bumper traffic I have to deal with just to get there. It takes over an hour, and after 2 bad car accidents, and therapy, a few deep breaths just doesn't make it any easier.
42141

Yeah, deep breaths won't help with that kind of a traffic problem unfortunately. Do you still do any kind of therapy?

R-209
07-18-2015, 04:52 PM
Actually had someone reach out to me on FB, wanting to discuss the upcoming meeting. We met at the new Starbucks in my little town, and it occurred to me that I couldn't recall actually being inside a Starbucks before. Chatting one-on-one with a complete stranger about an extremely important matter was a bit unnerving, but I think it went well for the most part. It was good to know there was at least one person who was committed to this.

The really awkward part was deciding when and how to end the conversation. I've always been terrible at that.

R-209
07-22-2015, 02:03 PM
It's just a few hours away now. I'm not super anxious about it, which is kind of weird. Why aren't I more anxious? Not sure what to expect, not sure how many people are going to show. I think I'll be satisfied if I get at least three. I thought about wearing a tie, but decided that might make people think I'm some kind of authority figure. I came up with the idea and made all the arrangements, but I'm just a guy.

Elektra Luxx
07-22-2015, 03:22 PM
Just be yourself and you'll do fine. Don't ask yes or no questions. Really listen the what the person is saying and ask questions regarding what they said, but phrase it so that they will open up.

kaninchen
07-22-2015, 03:30 PM
edited

R-209
07-22-2015, 09:46 PM
Just be yourself and you'll do fine. Don't ask yes or no questions. Really listen the what the person is saying and ask questions regarding what they said, but phrase it so that they will open up.

Thanks, Elektra! It actually went pretty well for a beginning. Everyone is enthusiastic about continuing.

If it works out, I'm going to start calling myself a "community organizer." :)

xxxGothBarbie
07-23-2015, 09:43 PM
Since I've come down with this weird "virus" BS I've gotten really comfy with not going to work & just sleeping day in & day out. I have nothing saved & really need to switch clubs since mine is deader than hell these days with no real potential. Anybody else ever get a little too cozy for a week or more of just hiding & vacationing from life?

RedMeg
07-23-2015, 10:30 PM
This thread definitely resonates with me. I'm still in recovery from my own agoraphobia, which manifested in what I know now to be a classic manner- bad thing/s happen/s, you avoid the situations/people/objects that are triggering anxiety related to the trauma, and gradually, that becomes everything outside your house. My bubble got smaller and smaller, because my brain had to deal with the fact that there are a bunch of things out in the world that I can't control, and that's scary. I needed several months just to get it through my head that while there are plenty of hazards to leaving the house, there are plenty of safe/ beneficial things, too. I couldn't go straight to bunnies and rainbows, though. I had help getting there, but the thing that popped the agoraphobia bubble for me (so that I could start practicing going out, which is what really changed things) was thinking about all the innocuous, neutral things in the world. One at a time. When you bring math into it, there are many more innocuous and/or beneficial experiences to be had outside my house than there are dangerous ones. I'm still working on my mental health (it's a one day at a time struggle), but I can happily report that I experience less discomfort going outside now than I did a year ago, much less two or three years ago. It has also helped to set goals with my therapist that she can help hold me accountable for accomplishing/working on. It's especially satisfying when I'm rambling about something in therapy, and she flips through my file for my goals, and says that it isn't on there, so it shouldn't be a huge concern, and that as per my own goal-setting, I'm a success, because I AM getting out of the house a lot more frequently than I was before.

R-209
07-24-2015, 06:30 PM
Well, :censored:. I go to make the arrangements for the second meeting and the :censored: community center tells me they changed their mind about waiving the rental fee for the room. Their excuse was that we're not an official organization, like AA. I already told them that as I was filling out the paperwork in their office, and they said we still qualified for a free room. The staffer actually checked off that box on the form herself. This was about four weeks before the first meeting, as it took a while to coordinate everyone's schedules through Facebook, so they had plenty of time to tell me that they were going back on their word. I suspect they were actually afraid of having "those kind of people" in their room.

The woman from the center I talked to on the phone was pretty vile. Not only was she not the least bit apologetic, she was indignant that we weren't charged for the sole meeting we had. We were no different than someone renting the room for a birthday party, she said. They want about fifty bucks per meeting, by the way, for a mental health support group in a tiny town that doesn't have anywhere else for people to go, which is why I started the thing in the first place! I tried to explain to this woman that the members of the group are dealing with serious issues. One lady who came lost a child to suicide just a few months ago. I told her that the center was breaking its promise to this group, and that finding a new location would be difficult. She suggested we just meet at a restaurant. Yes, the local Denny's is the perfect place to openly discuss the most intensely personal issues imaginable. :mad:

So then, I am now again tasked with going out by myself to find a new venue. This is rather difficult with the social anxiety thing. I'm going to have to meet with people, explain the purpose of the group, and beg for a free room. All this after I thought I had everything sewn up so nicely.

I wish I was one of those brash, confrontational types who can get in someone's face, say exactly what they think of them, and not worry about looking like a madman or hurting the feelings of the person who is being horrible. I don't think I could even bring myself to leave a nasty note on their Facebook page...

R-209
07-26-2015, 12:47 PM
Does anyone else find it more difficult to talk to someone over the phone than in person?

Aurora_Sunset
07-26-2015, 02:01 PM
Does anyone else find it more difficult to talk to someone over the phone than in person?

Definitely. You can't read body language over the phone, which makes up a large part of communication.

I also feel like these days, people are never JUST on the phone with you. They're always doing something else, but you can't really tell what or if they're actually paying attention to you. It makes me irritated and anxious.

Optimist
07-26-2015, 02:11 PM
Definitely. You can't read body language over the phone, which makes up a large part of communication.

I also feel like these days, people are never JUST on the phone with you. They're always doing something else, but you can't really tell what or if they're actually paying attention to you. It makes me irritated and anxious.

YESSSS! That makes me crazy. Just be present in the moment instead of texting, watching this or shuffling through that.

R-209
07-27-2015, 07:18 PM
Found a new venue for my group! It's at a church a literal stone's throw from the accursed community center. The pastor called me up last night and wanted to show me around and go over some details. Eep. I'm not a religious person, but I did go to this same church for a while, like a hundred years ago. The community center was actually my old primary school, which was weird enough (I am thankful that we didn't end up in my old high school). The pastor was very down to earth, although I still get flustered with one-on-one conversations.

Example:

"Hi, Ryan. I'm Pastor Jane*."
"Hello. I'm Ryan." Dammit!

Then she gives me the combination to the door. Just like that. I didn't even have to sign anything. Compare this to those jackals who wanted to charge me a $25 "locking fee" per meeting to have one of their henchmen lock the door after the meeting. The door locks automatically!

A few other members of the group dropped by to see the new meeting place. They were all complimenting me and calling me "the leader," which makes me very nervous as I have no leadership skills. Our next official meeting is Wednesday, and I will have to try and fake it.


*not her real name!

Optimist
07-28-2015, 09:07 PM
Found a new venue for my group! It's at a church a literal stone's throw from the accursed community center. The pastor called me up last night and wanted to show me around and go over some details. Eep. I'm not a religious person, but I did go to this same church for a while, like a hundred years ago. The community center was actually my old primary school, which was weird enough (I am thankful that we didn't end up in my old high school). The pastor was very down to earth, although I still get flustered with one-on-one conversations.

Example:

"Hi, Ryan. I'm Pastor Jane*."
"Hello. I'm Ryan." Dammit!

Then she gives me the combination to the door. Just like that. I didn't even have to sign anything. Compare this to those jackals who wanted to charge me a $25 "locking fee" per meeting to have one of their henchmen lock the door after the meeting. The door locks automatically!

A few other members of the group dropped by to see the new meeting place. They were all complimenting me and calling me "the leader," which makes me very nervous as I have no leadership skills. Our next official meeting is Wednesday, and I will have to try and fake it.


*not her real name!

Everyone isn't paranoid or hateful toward people grappling with anxiety. Those people who reneged on their deal with you were terrible jerks.

Optimist
07-28-2015, 09:07 PM
Found a new venue for my group! It's at a church a literal stone's throw from the accursed community center. The pastor called me up last night and wanted to show me around and go over some details. Eep. I'm not a religious person, but I did go to this same church for a while, like a hundred years ago. The community center was actually my old primary school, which was weird enough (I am thankful that we didn't end up in my old high school). The pastor was very down to earth, although I still get flustered with one-on-one conversations.

Example:

"Hi, Ryan. I'm Pastor Jane*."
"Hello. I'm Ryan." Dammit!

Then she gives me the combination to the door. Just like that. I didn't even have to sign anything. Compare this to those jackals who wanted to charge me a $25 "locking fee" per meeting to have one of their henchmen lock the door after the meeting. The door locks automatically!

A few other members of the group dropped by to see the new meeting place. They were all complimenting me and calling me "the leader," which makes me very nervous as I have no leadership skills. Our next official meeting is Wednesday, and I will have to try and fake it.


*not her real name!

Everyone isn't paranoid or hateful toward people grappling with anxiety. Those people who reneged on their deal with you were terrible jerks.

Glamourmilf
08-06-2015, 12:14 PM
Had to run a bunch of errands yesterday that left me with extreme anxiety, and sadness because of it.
my first errand was to get copies made at a random print shop. Stupid owner had his toddler crawling around. she came right over to me and started pulling at the hem of my dress, and starting kicking my legs! She was screaming for attention. Like, piss off! Keep your kid at home!
2nd errand was to return something at walmart, and get a money order while there. OMG!! The line was soo long, and near the entrance of the store, so there was all this commotion going on. plus, they only had 2 workers at the desk, instead of the usual 3.
I didn't feel so alone in my anxiety, when the girl in line in front of me turned to sigh and say that she needs to take 5 Xanax just to go to walmart. :chillpill I asked her if she had any extras? lol! tragic.
Then it was off to the library to pick up a book on hold...Nice and quiet, but it's 100 degrees out, and getting in and out of the car in this heat, and heavy traffic, was really wiping me out also. not to mention all of the crazy drivers around me. I don't usually see that where I now live, so it was a bit unnerving.
Last stop was the Market, and that just about put me over the edge!
I was praying that my roommates wouldn't be home when I got back, because I just couldn't even speak at that point. Had to shower, and just sit quietly for like 2 hours just to regroup.:'(

Glamourmilf
08-07-2015, 11:36 AM
Tomorrow I have to go to to some sort of beach party on a private beach with my boyfriend and his friends and their girlfriends. I'm fucking TERRIFIED.
I've put off meeting his friends for like a year and meeting them and their girlfriends at a beach of all places adds to the stress of this whole thing.
Im *sort of* trying to keep an open mind, but I have the worst time dealing with non industry women.
I can't think about anything but this, and I've lost so much sleep over it. I'm praying it rains, or that something will happen today to make it so all this won't be able to happen tomorrow.
My bf keeps telling me to "be normal" about it, but I'm not normal. Never ever have been, never will be.
These girls have seen pics of me, and apparently they have a million questions why my boobs are so big. I need to think of a fake storyline for my life today I suppose.
Sorry for my rambling, it's just nice to know some of yall can relate and understand stuff like this!

Arghh! I'm feeling anxious just hearing that.
I hate the beach, and all of those silly questions from civilians, so I feel for You.
I would have at least 20 excuses not to attend, but that's me.
I'm at the stage in my life where if I don't feel comfortable doing something, I just don't do it.:-X
A best friend mentioned the other day that we should drive into the city and go to a tranny bar. I'm like, "Not interested, I've done all of that when I was in my 20's. (while she was raising her kids and married).
She called me jaded.
No, I was a traveling dancer, and traveled in my off time too all over the world, so I have already done most of that crazy stuff.
leave me in peace to be who I am.

~*SwanPrincess*~
08-07-2015, 01:32 PM
I feel like the biggest loser ever right now. I'm SO stressed about this I texted my boyfriend and said I can't go and said I'll never be the kind of girl who can handle stuff like that. I'm now crying my eyes out at work, which is usually my "safe place" ironically.
People will never get that the outside appearance of a person doesn't always match what's going on in the inside. At the end of the day I really just want to be at home with my dogs.
I love what you said Glam. "Leave me in peace to be who I am."

Glamourmilf
08-07-2015, 04:15 PM
^^^Im sorry you are crying. I feel for You so much. It's like that feeling of being pulled to do something You really don't want to do to please the one You love, and keep the peacd. Torn between that and doing what is emotionally in your best interest.:-[
Maybe you can tell your bf that you will go, but might have to leave if it's too much for you.
I had to do that not to long ago when my brother needed a ride to Costco. When it got too much, he already knew that I had to get out of there.

~*SwanPrincess*~
08-07-2015, 11:14 PM
I think one of the reasons my anxiety is extra bad about this situation is because once I get on the boat that is going to the private beach, there's no turning back until the 12 other people going are done for the day at the beach.
So I can't like go for an hour or two and leave. I'll be forced to be there for most likely about eight hours.
My bf is being really weird about me bringing my phone and/or a bag too.
I've never liked boating on the ocean and I know for a fact I won't have a life jacket either.
Even though I had a mental breakdown yesterday, I really love my bf and am going to try so hard to mask my anxiety and be "normal" today. At the very least, I'm a good actress and sometimes if I try to "play the role" of a stereotypical and normal girl instead of focusing on all the uncomfortable feelings, I can pull it off to be convincing.

Glamourmilf
08-08-2015, 10:19 AM
I think one of the reasons my anxiety is extra bad about this situation is because once I get on the boat that is going to the private beach, there's no turning back until the 12 other people going are done for the day at the beach.
So I can't like go for an hour or two and leave. I'll be forced to be there for most likely about eight hours.
My bf is being really weird about me bringing my phone and/or a bag too.
I've never liked boating on the ocean and I know for a fact I won't have a life jacket either.
Even though I had a mental breakdown yesterday, I really love my bf and am going to try so hard to mask my anxiety and be "normal" today. At the very least, I'm a good actress and sometimes if I try to "play the role" of a stereotypical and normal girl instead of focusing on all the uncomfortable feelings, I can pull it off to be convincing.

There's a boat? You will be trapped at the beach for 8 hrs? No life jacket??:no:
Oh, hell no!!
I wish You the best of luck if You go.
There is no way in hell I would EVER do that!
Drowning and suffocation are 2 of my fears. That trip has both.
Make sure to check in and let us know how it went.
You just might 'sail' through the entire day though, and actually have fun.:crossfing For Your sake, I hope that's how it goes for You.

~*SwanPrincess*~
08-10-2015, 12:46 PM
I survived the day. At first I felt super out of place and was really quiet and felt awkward. They had beer once we got to the beach, so that kind of helped me be more a little more social.
Almost immediately the other girls were asking question after question about my boobs, hair, teeth, tan, every damn thing.
There were a ton of people there, so everyone spread out throughout the day. My bf was VERY good with me, which I was so thankful for. I know he just wants a normal girl he can bring around, and I really tried my best.
Being there for 12 hours was rough, and it was SO hot out.
My anxiety was alright throughout the day, and then it all fell apart at the very end.
The guy driving the boat was still a little tipsy, and we had no life jackets and the waves were really really big. Like he would hit the waves and we would be bounced up high all over the boat. I was TERRIFIED. I was so sure we were going to flip the boat and couldn't understand why they were letting him drive.
I started hyperventilating and was shaking so hard. The guy sitting on one side of me told me he was an EMT and clearly knew how to console nervous people. I felt a little guilty after cause he held my hand and knew all breathing technique stuff and just tried to talk me through it.
Afterwards in the car my bf wasn't mad and totally understood why I was so scared.
My body still feels stiff from that boat ride and I slept 10 hours the past two nights. I'm kind of proud of myself for sort of getting through a day like that. It's a start I suppose. The same group of people is having an end of the summer pool party soon and I might try and go instead of coming up with a million excuses to not go. We'll see

Glamourmilf
08-12-2015, 05:32 PM
Had to go run a couple of errands in this town I'm staying in (my friend's place that I'm staying at).
Got so lost, there was major construction and light signals were out causing commotion. I had to take the freeway which I hate, and it's So hot out. It gave me such anxiety! I haven't left her place since Sunday.

R-209
08-12-2015, 06:19 PM
The heat makes my anxiety worse, too, and it's been MISERABLY hot since forever. I live in the Pacific Northwest and can barely remember the last time I felt rain. That's just wrong.
I used to hate the freeway so much I developed a phobia about it, which made it hard to get to anywhere interesting. Not that a shut-in goes out and about a lot, anyway. BUT I've been trying to work on that. Freeway driving is pretty easy now, but I get super anxious when I have to drive around streets I'm not familiar with. Like the other day, I was looking for an address in a part of the city I've never been to before and was getting really frustrated because it's hard to look for building numbers when people keep riding my bumper!

In making arrangements for my support group, I've found my social phobia hasn't improved as much as I thought. Phone calls and even e-mail and Facebook conversations are difficult. Why do I obsess over a few sentences asking about brochures? The next thing I'm looking into is a suicide prevention training course. That is going to be a challenge.

Glamourmilf
08-13-2015, 12:12 AM
^^^Yes, ditto to everything You brought up. I also get anxious in the hot weather, and thought I was the only one who did. It started when I lived in the desert, and to conserve the energy grids, the electrif companies would randomly shutoff the power
. It was 120 degrees! It has been weird weather, for sure...no significant rain here in 4 yrs..It's ......
Not normal, and very it's very depressing, like I'm walking around in the twighlight zone or something.
Makes me feel very lethargic.
The freeway, yeah don't get me started on that. Le sigh

Selina M
08-13-2015, 12:34 AM
Anybody else ever get a little too cozy for a week or more of just hiding & vacationing from life?

I can NOT do that. Learned that the hard way. I did very, very well for several shifts in a row back in April and decided to 'reward myself' with like 5 days off... and could not drag my ass back in. I gave myself burnout because I had time to sit at home and think about the negatives of the club. I stewed that so hard that I decided to get a freaking teaching job, and essentially quit working except for 3-4 hrs/week until I came to my senses 2 months later.

I'm still digging out of the hole :(

Now I make a point to never, ever not go in if I've marked it as a day I was going to work. I've caught myself several times about to not go. Bailing out is a death spiral and a bad habit to get into!