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04-01-2016, 04:27 PM
This is a great thread.

For me, what I'm most self-conscious about, is my eyes. I have brown/blue Heterochromia, and it is literally the bane of my existence. Unsurprisingly, I got made fun of more for my eyes than my weight when I was kid... Recently, I've lost a lot of weight, so my weight isn't what I'm self-conscious about anymore; but even if I was, it's at least something I can actually change. But my eyes? NOPE! I'M STUCK WITH THEM FOREVER.

I usually wear brown contacts when I'm on cam and when I'm not hanging around the house; otherwise, I get really weird looks. Actually, when I met my boyfriend he had no idea I had Heterochromia. Then, one day I forgot to put them in, and... yeah. He was so mad. But he was only mad because he said I "was hiding my true beauty behind a veil of lies." What a fucking cheese-ball. A cute cheese-ball, though, lol.

But, yeah. He's slowly teaching me to love them... Slowly. ;D

jackiebee
04-01-2016, 11:05 PM
This is a great thread.

For me, what I'm most self-conscious about, is my eyes. I have brown/blue Heterochromia, and it is literally the bane of my existence. Unsurprisingly, I got made fun of more for my eyes than my weight when I was kid... Recently, I've lost a lot of weight, so my weight isn't what I'm self-conscious about anymore; but even if I was, it's at least something I can actually change. But my eyes? NOPE! I'M STUCK WITH THEM FOREVER.

I usually wear brown contacts when I'm on cam and when I'm not hanging around the house; otherwise, I get really weird looks. Actually, when I met my boyfriend he had no idea I had Heterochromia. Then, one day I forgot to put them in, and... yeah. He was so mad. But he was only mad because he said I "was hiding my true beauty behind a veil of lies." What a fucking cheese-ball. A cute cheese-ball, though, lol.

But, yeah. He's slowly teaching me to love them... Slowly. ;D

Heterochromia is so cool! I bet that could be an awesome thing for you on cam. People love anything "different".

My contribution to this thread is that most days I look in the mirror and I see someone beautiful. I never had that before camming.

Chellyinparadise
04-01-2016, 11:42 PM
This is a great thread.

For me, what I'm most self-conscious about, is my eyes. I have brown/blue Heterochromia, and it is literally the bane of my existence. Unsurprisingly, I got made fun of more for my eyes than my weight when I was kid... Recently, I've lost a lot of weight, so my weight isn't what I'm self-conscious about anymore; but even if I was, it's at least something I can actually change. But my eyes? NOPE! I'M STUCK WITH THEM FOREVER.

I usually wear brown contacts when I'm on cam and when I'm not hanging around the house; otherwise, I get really weird looks. Actually, when I met my boyfriend he had no idea I had Heterochromia. Then, one day I forgot to put them in, and... yeah. He was so mad. But he was only mad because he said I "was hiding my true beauty behind a veil of lies." What a fucking cheese-ball. A cute cheese-ball, though, lol.

But, yeah. He's slowly teaching me to love them... Slowly. ;D

Thats so sweet of your bf, i bet your eyes are beautiful.

ScarletKitten
04-01-2016, 11:46 PM
I love this thread. I'm glad it got bumped.

I just wanted to share something. A self-love exercise that I do sometimes is picturing myself as a little girl, like my 9 year-old self. I look at her and see how precious and innocent she is, and I have this feeling of wanting to protect her, and letting her know she is not alone, and that she is amazing. This thought has also stopped me from hurting myself during dark times. There were times in the past when I would get emotional breakdowns really bad, and I almost hurt myself (sometimes I did). But I would see a vision of myself as a little girl. I would cry, not wanting to hurt that little girl. Because she is me. So give her a hug instead. When your having a bad day or self doubt or self-hatred is tempting you, don't let it win. Love yourself and pick yourself back up again. Everything will be okay.

This post probably sounds crazy, but it works for me. Self preservation.

hyori
04-02-2016, 07:36 AM
People do appreciate and crave uniqueness and individuality. To say differently, is nuts. Why would we have so many models of cars? Why can't we eat the same things every single day? To say any differently would mean consumerism would not exist. The economy would collapse and we would all just be living like ants with nothing but a survival instinct.

Fetishes wouldn't exist, people wouldn't find their soul mates. Why do we prefer one person over another? It's because of their unique characteristics, personality, looks, mannerisms--the entire package. Yes, racism/discrimination and fear of the unknown exists, however, there are those who also love all that is exotic and different.

I don't even know why I bothered to respond to this.

*** Edited to add that this was in response to a post that was deleted.

hyori
04-02-2016, 08:55 AM
Cam work is the same as any other job, it just has more sales, emotional quotient and sexuality.

Anoncamgirl is just having issues finding a way to control her hair texture to make it what she believes is the best look for her. She is frustrated. It doesn't mean that because her hair texture is a god given, natural trait that she is doomed to forever wearing wigs. There are other options. She can look into relaxing, Brazilian straightening, Japanese straightening or if she prefers going with more natural methods there are products that can help with all of that as well. The answer is out there, she'll find it. In that post, she was just expressing her frustration.

I'm going to assume that you are saying that because you are a BBW that you don't attract the same clients as a model who is a different shape from you. Of course that is the case. That same girl who you are comparing yourself to will not attract BBW lovers either. No one can have everything. Does she always make more than you? Not necessarily. As many BBW's here can attest, they have found other ways to make themselves earn more money than even the top cam girls on the big box sites. It's all about taking advantage of all the opportunities out there that can make you money with what god has gifted you eg. affiliate, clips, panties, pso, splitcamming, blogging, youtube etc.

In the end, only you make your own limits, not your looks, not what other people think of your looks, not what you read in the stupid magazines or what lesser beings say to you to make you feel bad.

Genoveve
04-02-2016, 09:27 AM
^^^ Read it & i agree but why u guys are soo afraid of reality?

I think Hyori was pointing out that your reality of being unable to bank off of unique traits is not everybody's reality. She probably didn't want people to read your post and feel doomed, because everyone's realities are different. What is true for one girl may not be true for another and vice versa.

PhatGirlDynomite!!!
04-02-2016, 09:58 AM
Today will be a great day. Ive got this acronym that I stumbled on recently. F.E.A.R Face Everything And Rise it may be old news to some of ya'll but its new to me. I wrote it on the dry erase boards I have in my kitchen and in my camroom. I've tried other mantras but it felt corny. This one I connect to way more. I'm able to Face who I am. The good and the bad. All the little ugly secrets from my past that I try to tuck away sometimes. But I realize its best to just face it because I can't go back and change things. So now I'm like Fuck it that's all you girl. Yup you did that shit HAHA but you're still here. So when I feel the FEAR coming on that's what I do with it. I break it into little pieces until it's gone.

hyori
04-02-2016, 10:06 AM
You make your reality. When you accept things as they are, they stay the way they are because you have accepted it as the way it will be. Think about that for just a moment. Time keeps moving right? So why would any situation have to stay the same way forever, it is not possible. You have the power to change whatever situation because if it doesn't it is because you are hanging onto that reality. That is not delusion.

Chellyinparadise
04-02-2016, 10:16 AM
You make your reality. When you accept things as they are, they stay the way they are because you have accepted it as the way it will be. Think about that for just a moment. Time keeps moving right? So why would any situation have to stay the same way forever, it is not possible. You have the power to change whatever situation because if it doesn't it is because you are hanging onto that reality. That is not delusion.

That is so true, it may be a scary change sometimes but a better change. Sometimes when situations seem horrible or impossible to change and you put your foot forward and make that first step things start looking possible to reach and even if it seems difficult and you dont see the changes right away the big picture is within reach and you will see how much better things can and will be with change sometimes.. im learning that first hand. Thank you for this post very inspiring.

Marina Starr
04-02-2016, 11:08 AM
AMEN! You accept what you feel you deserve.

A bit random but I just want to put this out there: Not all men like things that are beautiful, thin and normal. If that's true then hot celebrities wouldn't treat on their spouses with ugly nannies, LOL! Men like what they like.

You make your reality. When you accept things as they are, they stay the way they are because you have accepted it as the way it will be. Think about that for just a moment. Time keeps moving right? So why would any situation have to stay the same way forever, it is not possible. You have the power to change whatever situation because if it doesn't it is because you are hanging onto that reality. That is not delusion.

ScarletKitten
04-02-2016, 03:34 PM
^^ People do appreciate and crave uniqueness and individuality. To say differently, is nuts. Why would we have so many models of cars? Why can't we eat the same things every single day? To say any differently would mean consumerism would not exist. The economy would collapse and we would all just be living like ants with nothing but a survival instinct.

Fetishes wouldn't exist, people wouldn't find their soul mates. Why do we prefer one person over another? It's because of their unique characteristics, personality, looks, mannerisms--the entire package. Yes, racism/discrimination and fear of the unknown exists, however, there are those who also love all that is exotic and different.

I don't even know why I bothered to respond to this.

I must have missed something. Were you replying to me? Sorry, I'm confused.

hyori
04-02-2016, 04:08 PM
I must have missed something. Were you replying to me? Sorry, I'm confused.

No, this was in response to a post that was deleted. I apologize for the confusion.

DonaDiabla
04-02-2016, 11:17 PM
My contribution to this thread is being unique is a wonderful thing. I know some of us get teased and bullied for not fitting in but you will find people who love your unique qualities.I used to get tease for my beliefs, traditions, and personality as a young girl but those same things have helped me in both my vanilla and adult career. I came to terms with my uniqueness after I was homeless and it has made my life much better. Yes, I was bland and Mediocre when I first started off but I had to stop hiding myself. But my uniqueness has made me a better actress in my adult industry career. However, I had to come to terms with myself :) I love myself much more now. I love my beliefs, family traditions, culture, body and personality much more as an 30 year old woman. I hope everyone comes to term with their uniqueness and love themselves as well. :)

KatM
04-03-2016, 12:48 AM
I wish to make things clear here now & i will eventually delete my post if everyone feels it's inappropriate for this thread: my original answer was given to the comment regarding Heterochromia issue, i meant to say that if u have a defect & u can hide it on cam is better to do it than let people see it and pick on you cause of this.

Not that Heterochromia is a serious defect but it could look weird on cam to some people.
I happen to have an issue with my eyes myself and i was picked on for my issue, on and off cam, i seen some cam models who have issues with their eyes and who got terrible tags on SM related to their issues, like 'crazy eyes, splitty eyes' etc.

These things DO EXIST, they are real, these tags & these situations. It does not mean we should not love ourselves for the way we are cause that's the best we can do, accept ourselves and be happy and proud about ourselves no matter how we look like.

But there are people who still pick on us for the things they find as being a defect or about weight for example and this could affect someone's career if they bullied constantly for the way they look.
There are people who dont give a shit of what others say about them and there are people who get affected by what others say about them, just reading some of these threads in here u come to understand this is a fact, we are different people and not all of us react the same in different situations.

I for myself am at the point where i am the most confident in my cam career, right now today i can say i dont care anymore of what people say about me but if there is a tag that might compromise my work on cam let's say i'll remove it just not to create disturbance for me and others seeing the tag, if there is a person insulting me in my cam room for whatever reason i'll ban that person just because i dont want him to have any power over me and in my place of work.

Maybe here is a problem with me that i seem not to be able to put in words all the things i think of and i believe that everyone reads my mind lol but i just realize that's impossible lol, u guys read the words i put in here only so i better take my time to express myself better, my brain is just too fast than my ability to type lol.

Just for the record, i studied 'belle arte' here, we were drawing humans, live models sitting in front of us in classroom, also nude models, women & men, these models were employed by specific standards, they had to be very expressive facially and fit a body standard, in art there are standards, there are ancient studies that show what is considered beauty at specific periods in history.

Dont want to give u an art lesson here now but i can tell u, beauty standards is science, they measure the distances between eyes, ears, nose with eyes etc etc, these standards apply to beauty contests now a days and to how specific products sell including magazines, barbie dolls and other products.
People tend to buy more the product that is closest to perfection, we are attracted naturally by perfection also because we are influenced by the media.

With camming is different of course, on cam everything sells but the visible defects are still a thing that can give a hard time to the model and this because of the bullying and trolling. I have a few examples but wont name names in here, if u happen to see certain models on cam u'll know what i mean.

So, having in mind all my experience as an artist/drawer/fashionist/interior & webdesigner bla bla i can say i am in the position to judge things as a pro when it comes to camming/ adult industry aspects, not only as a cam model, i also see things from outside, not involved emotionally.

MY Conclusion is: YES, love yourself the way u are no matter how u look like & pay attention to the little details that might cause u discomfort on cam, if that particular thing u have and u dont feel confident about is doing u harm on cam, better hide it to just have peace of mind, if u ok with that particular little thing to be seen by others then dont hide it and make it a selling point eventually.

That was my whole point, sorry i did not make myself understood last eve, i was in a hurry to get on cam when i posted my message and did not have the time to explain all in details so it came off different than i wanted lol. But from now on i'll pay attention to what i post cause it seems i am not able to send the message i want simply, working on it here.

Thanks for reading xx, let me know if u want this post off this thread & i will take it off no problem.
Also pls guys, edit ur own messages there/ unquote me completely if u dont want people to get confused, ty.

SimoneGray
04-03-2016, 03:11 AM
I think the main thing to recognise here is to love yourself for who/what you are. Be really happy with your own company. Stop comparing yourself to Western standards of beauty if it makes you unhappy. Take care of yourself. Surround yourself with positive things and let them multiply in your life. Look after your mental health. Step off the bus if the go-round is making you unhappy. If your job is dragging you down, find another one, camming and self love are sometimes hard to put together.

I've had my fair share of crazy struggles, being homeless, being broke, having serious health issues, all of those things. I overcame a lot of them mostly due to self love and a shit ton of hard work. But I loved myself enough to do that hard work. That's a part of it too. Not all self love involves pampering oneself, sometimes its something as simple as not sabotaging yourself, or working really hard so that down the line, things are good for you.

KatM
04-03-2016, 04:25 AM
^^^ If u address this message to me Simone then i thank you for ur good advice & concerns, its very sweet of you xx.
I wish to mention that i am not going to change my job because it pays best here so i'll continue to cam no matter what ;).
I need to work with 'western standards' because there are the men paying me :) otherwise i starve on bonga with the men from the 'east' that are too cheap to pay me. I prefer western guys tho LOL.

I am very well mentally but like everyone else i have my ups & downs and things that scare me or trigger me but per total i am healthy, no mental disorder here at all just the not easy life i had/ have that of course influences our behavior always.

I do love myself a lot believe me, this was never an issue and will never be, my problem is with the others who dont always see value in me (on cam) but this never pulled me back from getting on cam and working, i do this for 15 years w.o major breaks in between, even when i was working a vanilla job for 2 years meantime i still cammed part time when i had free time here.

There was never a moment in my life when i hated myself, even now i am double weight than when i started camming i do love myself same like when i was slim, even now i am older than 15 years ago i love myself for who i am now.
I never wanted to be younger or slimmer like before lol, i know i am who i am now because all these years of experience & hard work, i will never want to go back in time and loose the things i accumulated in between, i like and love who i am NOW.

In my previous deleted messages i talked about things in general, about the perception people have on things, especially members on cam sites, i was not talking about myself (only). I can talk about things from a neutral point of view giving my education in arts & beauty :)

This is Life, this is Reality, this is the life of a cam girl, i can write a book about my life on cam and off cam and i will do it one day, i plan to.
This is also the beauty of life, no matter how often u fall it's important to get up and fight life, live life and enjoy it. I do it even for some it looks like not LOL.
And i will never give up, just for the record :)
I wish u all to have the power, self confidence & strength i have, to never give up, be blessed! xx

SimoneGray
04-03-2016, 05:19 AM
^^ It was more general advice for anyone who reads this thread, but I am glad it touched you too :). Most of the stuff I say on here is just stuff that has worked for me personally, I'm always happy if others find some good in it.

Semyonovna
04-05-2016, 06:49 AM
Great thread and inspiring answers. To be honest, I didn't love myself till recently. I had to observe my past, my present, my life in order to learn who I am. My childhood made great damage to my soul, teenage period filled with depression and anxiety, psychological issues, wrong decisions, wrong people, money issues... I always had idols, people who do not deserve that! After all I realized I want to be good person, I want to be kind and respectful to others, I want to learn, I want to fulfill my potential. Whole my life I knew I was something different and I was struggling to be like others, which was biggest mistake. I'm proud of myself that I'm in this place now, I mean in my head. Still have a lot of work to do and figure a lot of things out, but I will do it, I know. My motivation sentence is Do what's easy and your life will be hard, do what's hard and your life will be easy. So I force myself to workout (healthy body makes mind healthier), I force myself make $, I force myself to take care of my appearance, I force myself to be good and in bad times this gives me comfort. I have diary where I write it all, my feelings, my earnings, my plans and it's like a bible to me! When I'm about to take wrong path I read my thoughts and I straight myself up. So, all in all, for some of us it's hard to love ourselves, but hard doesn't mean impossible. I succeeded to put my life in some order, after some hard, hard years I spend crying and worrying. I still worry about my family, but I know that if I want to help others I have to help myself first and that's another thing that keeps me going. Life gives you cards, you make the moves. Life doesn't give you choices, you make them! Like sharks, in order to survive you have to keep going! Another one from Winston Churchill : If you're going through hell, KEEP GOING. It's beautiful to me that some people have it in themselves: love, respect and no ego trips, this is what healthy human being should be like. I can't say I'm 100% all of that, but I will get there, in order to live my life in peace.

SubSpace666
10-06-2016, 03:49 AM
I have these sentences written out on a piece of paper that I keep on my mirror and I read them when I am feeling down about myself:

Your are strong
You are a fighter
You have overcome obstacles
You have survived without people
You are beautiful inside and out
You mean something to many people
Anything is possible
Have perserverance and faith
Your higher power will protect you
You can do ANYTHING

Also, I was told that if you are looking for advice on a situation, picture yourself as a child. What advice would you give a child in that situation? (This can work with fear, etc)

SkoomaQueen
10-06-2016, 06:06 PM
I REALLY like the mirror idea with those sentences, I think I might do that! I love this thread.

It took me a long time to love myself. I had a myriad of mental health issues, an eating disorder, bad relationships with family and significant others, self harming etc. (Sorry if that's too personal) I was in a good place for a few years, but my brother died in August and I spent a solid month being very depressed again. Not taking care of myself, not working, drinking and smoking too much, spent all my savings and talked down to myself perpetually. Eventually it hit me that I worked WAY too hard and have been through too much to let myself be that way. I started camming again, talking to my friends more, joined this forum and every day I wake up and tell myself something good. It can be about my appearance, about work, a video game or show I'm excited about and just try to be grateful to be alive. Some days it takes much more effort than others and I have to get back into a few other routines still, but at the end of the day I'm alive, I have money, I have my lipstick and my whiskey and my bath - it's ALL good, and it gets better all the time.

Expect bad, you will get it. Expect good, you will get it!

StellaPurr
10-07-2016, 03:15 AM
I may not be that successful of a camgirl but I've got dope eyebrows, a fantastic rack and I love to make ppl laugh.

vaporeon
10-07-2016, 01:20 PM
I think the main trait that sticks out about me lately besides my appearance is how flat out weird I am. I've made a point to stop trying to hide it on cam just to be a "proper sexy naked internet lady". I've let my weirdness come all out and I have had some really great comments from people in my chats! "Oh you're super weird and it's refreshing!" or "I love your silly personality, it makes you even sexier". SO YES, I am weird and proud and feel more comfortable with myself than ever because there's no need to hide who I am!

hyori
10-07-2016, 08:47 PM
^^ I'm weird too and today was the first day a guy didn't like my bearded clam and beaver puppet conversation starters. WTF.

http://i.imgur.com/yG9Kn0m.jpg

StellaPurr
10-12-2016, 04:40 AM
Hahaha yaaaas