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View Full Version : Can Men Ever Really Change....?



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rickdugan
08-12-2015, 10:34 AM
Yup, kick him out. He already knows that he can't pay for the place. Let him know what it feels like to be without his family. Who knows? Maybe it will be a wakeup call and he will become more eager to be a good dad and SO. Otherwise, you can find someone else who will be.

If he won't go willingly, then perhaps you could get him mad enough to do something stupid. Then you could call the police to have him taken out and then file for a TRO to keep him out.

LaylaLovely
08-12-2015, 10:39 AM
I am rarely a supporter of breaking up a family, but having a worthless bitch as a father figure is worse than having no father figure at all.

I am too especially since I have a special needs child... She doesn't understand like other kids...she's extremely high functioning so I don't know she'll notice but idk how she'll take it.she does amazing in school she in a mild special Ed class but she's already getting to spend an hour a day in a normal classroom which will be increased in the future until she's fully transitioned in.she in love with the idea of her family...she constantly draws pictures of her family me her n her dad and our pets...like always brings like 10 pictures of it home for me

rickdugan
08-12-2015, 10:46 AM
I am too especially since I have a special needs child... She doesn't understand like other kids...she's extremely high functioning so I don't know she'll notice but idk how she'll take it.she does amazing in school she in a mild special Ed class but she's already getting to spend an hour a day in a normal classroom which will be increased in the future until she's fully transitioned in.she in love with the idea of her family...she constantly draws pictures of her family me her n her dad and our pets...like always brings like 10 pictures of it home for me

Oh boy. I guess I didn't realize how old your kid already is, nevermind the special needs element. Fuck that breaks my heart. I still think you should kick him out, but perhaps you leave the door open for him to earn his way back in. He is just too comfortable right now and he clearly isn't listening to you. IMHO the only way that will ever change is if he understands that he's not in control and that he either holds up his end or loses his family.

Wow. I think I have said enough in this thread, so I will bow out, but good luck as you work through this.

LaylaLovely
08-12-2015, 11:13 AM
^^Just realized your a guy lol thanks for the input...good to get a mans perspective on it.

SimoneGray
08-12-2015, 11:28 AM
Yea...so...shit. Because whatever you do will probably break your child's heart. Also whatever happens, he might just bail on you completely and not co-parent with you if you guys do split.

I still honestly think though that its not fair on you. Just think about it this way, once you are done camming (like in a few years you just don't wanna do it anymore) what is he going to do? Will he help? Will he cover you and your family while you pursue other lines of opportunity? YOu need to think about that because if the answer is "nothing" then you need to leave. Also take your CC's back. You pay the damn bills, enough with that nonsense.

LaylaLovely
08-12-2015, 11:41 AM
I have a couple of different projects that will work perfectly alongside camming..and even if I decide to stop...which isn't in the future because I do enjoy it and the $$ is a plus..I'm currently working on getting those projects going :D

So yea very excited about that! Now that he has a job barely a few days ago... I'm going to wait a month then have a talk about finances and just tell him now that he has a job I'd like to start splitting things fairly.. Obviously I make more than him so it wouldn't be fair to do 50/50 .then I can save and have options if I should want to leave at that time.also I am going to tell him I'm done paying his credit cards... I need to work on repairing my own credit .. I only have one debit card no cc's
As for my daughter I think she will be ok she has me and her dad still we agreed to split her 50/50 he doesn't wanna fight for her and I don't because he is a good dad..also his family is very involved with her.

slowpoke
08-12-2015, 01:28 PM
I love how to the point you are slowpoke lol.

Thank you.

LaylaLovely
08-18-2015, 10:15 AM
Just thought I'd update a lil bit....I have moved my stuff out of our room and moved up stairs to the extra bedroom...and boy to guys really change especially when your not there fuck toy anymore! I thought he was a mean boyfriend before ?? Lol try now he is just so cruel! Ugh anyways since all of this has been going down I haven't been working and finding it really hard to focus and shift personas when I'm going through this huge life change.. I need to readjust to my new life and get back into work mode

SimoneGray
08-18-2015, 10:29 AM
^^ Hugs!! Men are awful when you are no longer happy to do what they want...at least you are the breadwinner in the situation and don't have to also focus on building yourself up financially etc because that would make things even harder.

LaylaLovely
07-01-2016, 08:32 PM
Super old thread but thought I'd update again..only because I see so many post with the same variation ...well I'm in my own apartment ...I moved out in October of '15 lived with his parents in ther office floor and continued to work ther while paying all his bills 2000$+ (his conditions for me to keep working ther) it was so hard to save every month...but I got the bare minimum n left got my car back from him my debit cards ..and the best part I was able to get a super nice computer based of my income !! I literally had just enough for the deposit ..a bed ...and a week to make rent yet again ..but I did it ..I didn't get all my stuff back but I had a bed and a nice computer and within the first month my income doubled almost tripled due to my specs placement jumped to like row 2 even row 1 wen I'm lucky! and this month I paid off the last 500$ to this computer ...thnk u to the contributors got me going to take that leap of faith!!!(been here since March 15th after 8 years I was 18 years old finally)

Btw my daughter is great better than ever! She loved her new room bought her all new furniture her new daycare and soon new school
Ppl can say all they want bout camming but used correctly it can really change things for the better

emma383
07-01-2016, 08:53 PM
99 Percent is always worry, but all we really need is that one percent of hope to see us through, and a lot can be done with it. Many blessings LaylaLovely in your continued endeavor in this thing we call life.

SimoneGray
07-02-2016, 01:10 AM
Super old thread but thought I'd update again..only because I see so many post with the same variation ...well I'm in my own apartment ...I moved out in October of '15 lived with his parents in ther office floor and continued to work ther while paying all his bills 2000$+ (his conditions for me to keep working ther) it was so hard to save every month...but I got the bare minimum n left got my car back from him my debit cards ..and the best part I was able to get a super nice computer based of my income !! I literally had just enough for the deposit ..a bed ...and a week to make rent yet again ..but I did it ..I didn't get all my stuff back but I had a bed and a nice computer and within the first month my income doubled almost tripled due to my specs placement jumped to like row 2 even row 1 wen I'm lucky! and this month I paid off the last 500$ to this computer ...thnk u to the contributors got me going to take that leap of faith!!!(been here since March 15th after 8 years I was 18 years old finally)

Btw my daughter is great better than ever! She loved her new room bought her all new furniture her new daycare and soon new school
Ppl can say all they want bout camming but used correctly it can really change things for the better

I am so incredibly happy for you that it worked out! You are amazing and strong and its so encouraging to see you giving your daughter the best future possible. I do hope your story will inspire many others.

Bahuba
07-02-2016, 03:50 AM
Congrats! Very glad to hear your daughter is doing well.

invibe
07-08-2016, 07:09 PM
Men get "better with age" because we learn from all of the dumb and immature stuff we have done in the past. Mostly.

A guy who loves a woman will do what he thinks he needs to do to win her heart and keep her interested. If there are
some red flags, have you tried dropping hints or flatly telling him that "x" needs to change?