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rareaspasia
01-19-2017, 09:47 PM
I like other people's kids but I never wanted any and neither did my partner. My kids would have a 50% chance of inheriting my bipolar disorder and I would never risk giving someone that because it has at points made my life a living hell. I have zero desire to adopt and got my tubes tied last march. If you have insurance check your terms because mine qualified as birth control and I paid just $90 for anesthesia.

RyanXO
01-20-2017, 08:52 AM
I can't find a doctor ( I am in Texas the famous Republican state of course) who will not do a tubal for me. I am 26 by the way. I keep getting charged 100$ for an appointment only to be turned away because "'I will change my mind." I am enraged!!!

Dot
01-20-2017, 09:01 AM
so many reasons not to want kids. but the biggest reason like rareasparsia, myself, my 3 brothers and my mom all have depression/diagnosed bipolar. i wouldnt want to pass that on to my children. plus i see how my brothers and i drove my mom nuts....we werent the most tamed teenagers which is worse than bad kids IMO

BlkSharpie
01-24-2017, 11:33 AM
I've decided not to have any kids.

My daughter is devastated. :D

Seriously though...growing up I never wanted any..ever. Didnt want to get married either. Only reason really being that I figured Id make a shitty mom, since I had a shitty mom, and had no interest in screwing up some poor unwitting souls life...and I didnt want to get married cause I was pretty sure no decent guy would ever want me. Not to be a downer, but thats how I felt. Yay for growing up in an abusive home, does great things for your self image and esteem.

Anyway, fate was like....jokes on you! Baby on the way! And Ive got to say, if it wasnt for that...I know for sure I never would have had kids. But Im glad it happened cause as it turns out...I ended up with the coolest most kick ass kid I could ever dream of. I had no idea people like her existed til I had her. The world may not be such a great place, but she sure does make it a better one. Shes 20 now, so its pretty much a given that she is the only one I'll ever have.

Still not all too convinced about the getting married thing...but at least I dont have to worry about dying alone. Kiddo said that when Im old and senile, she'll let me live in her attic, cause no house is complete without a crazy lady in the attic. What a doll.... :D

ScarletKitten
01-24-2017, 11:52 PM
I can't find a doctor ( I am in Texas the famous Republican state of course) who will not do a tubal for me. I am 26 by the way. I keep getting charged 100$ for an appointment only to be turned away because "'I will change my mind." I am enraged!!!

When it comes to reproductive rights, Texas is fucking terrifying. It makes me never want to have sex again, just to avoid it all.

RyanXO
01-25-2017, 10:30 AM
When it comes to reproductive rights, Texas is fucking terrifying. It makes me never want to have sex again, just to avoid it all.

Yea, it's like people make up your minds! Y'all are all against abortion but a young lady wanting to be responsible and get her tubes tied to avoid that situation can't get it done. Then employers don't want their insurance to provide birth control. So don't have your tubes tied, don't be on birth control pills, and don't have an abortion??? Oh wait, I know what the conservatives think: give birth or be a virgin let's live in the Middle Ages!!!

And I'd like to add I get especially mad at the birth control situation because I NEED the pills for my psychical health. I don't use them for unprotected sex, I use them to control my heavy bleeding, cramps, depression, and migraines. Naturally my PMS is bad enough that I feel like shit for 2 weeks out of the month. I bloat, temporarily gain 10 lbs, etc. I don't have cysts so I don't know what's wrong. The doctors figure it is just chemical. End rant.

LoveyDovey
01-26-2017, 08:55 AM
I've decided not to have any kids.

My daughter is devastated. :D

Seriously though...growing up I never wanted any..ever. Didnt want to get married either. Only reason really being that I figured Id make a shitty mom, since I had a shitty mom, and had no interest in screwing up some poor unwitting souls life...and I didnt want to get married cause I was pretty sure no decent guy would ever want me. Not to be a downer, but thats how I felt. Yay for growing up in an abusive home, does great things for your self image and esteem.

Anyway, fate was like....jokes on you! Baby on the way! And Ive got to say, if it wasnt for that...I know for sure I never would have had kids. But Im glad it happened cause as it turns out...I ended up with the coolest most kick ass kid I could ever dream of. I had no idea people like her existed til I had her. The world may not be such a great place, but she sure does make it a better one. Shes 20 now, so its pretty much a given that she is the only one I'll ever have.

Still not all too convinced about the getting married thing...but at least I dont have to worry about dying alone. Kiddo said that when Im old and senile, she'll let me live in her attic, cause no house is complete without a crazy lady in the attic. What a doll.... :D

Aw, I can totally relate!! Grew up in abusive home,had an emotionally nanipulative mother, had a "surprise" kid, and he turned out to be awesome . He's the only family I really have. The rest of my family are a bunch of vituperative assholes.

You deserve happiness. Don't let your family bring you down.

If I have another surprise, I'll gladly welcome him/her. No plans to have another, though.

Your daughter sounds so funny! "Crazy lady in the attic" lol!!!

BlkSharpie
01-26-2017, 12:52 PM
Yeah, I felt the same way Lovey, but as fate would have it, I was meant to stop at the one. Im lucky to have an amazing sister, her husband and kids are pretty much the extent of family to me...and kiddo well, shes in a class of her own. Really dont know what I would have done without her. And yeah, she really cracks me up...such a little jokester, shes her mothers daughter for sure. And the only person on earth in history to ever successfully pull an aprils fools joke on me. She considers that a lifetime achievement LoL

LoveyDovey
01-26-2017, 08:18 PM
Yeah, I felt the same way Lovey, but as fate would have it, I was meant to stop at the one. Im lucky to have an amazing sister, her husband and kids are pretty much the extent of family to me...and kiddo well, shes in a class of her own. Really dont know what I would have done without her. And yeah, she really cracks me up...such a little jokester, shes her mothers daughter for sure. And the only person on earth in history to ever successfully pull an aprils fools joke on me. She considers that a lifetime achievement LoL

I always joke around with my kid and say " now why would I want another kid when obviously I got it right the first time around!" Sounds like you did, too. :-)

msjoiparker
04-29-2017, 11:17 AM
I don't want kids and I get guilt tripped for it all the time...especially with the one I live with. Like lady how do you expect me to leave your house EVER if I have to feed dependents.

I'm not hating or bitter. No way, I'm happy for everyone else and I'd watch whoever's kids for the right amount at the right time but NOT MY OWN especially since I plan to do sexwork for awhile (kids could mess up your body. Even if I wasn't super concerned with sex work I'm already a size 14 so)

ScarletKitten
05-01-2017, 03:26 PM
I changed my mind about adopting. The idea sounds lovely, but in reality, I just don't think I could handle devoting all of my time to taking care of a child for nearly 2 decades. It sounds so constraining to my life. It's the ultimate commitment- which I have a fear of. You get a job, you can quit. You buy something, you can return it or sell it. You get married, you can always get a divorce if it doesn't work out. But having a kid- whether it's yours or adopted- there is no going back. You are committed and legally stuck with this little human until they move out. Even after they move out, you are still bound to this person for life. That is a terrifying thought to me. It makes me feel kinda bad though, because I know so many kids need good homes. But I just don't think I have it in me to be a proper parent.

LaurenAus
05-01-2017, 07:16 PM
I changed my mind about adopting. The idea sounds lovely, but in reality, I just don't think I could handle devoting all of my time to taking care of a child for nearly 2 decades. It sounds so constraining to my life. It's the ultimate commitment- which I have a fear of. You get a job, you can quit. You buy something, you can return it or sell it. You get married, you can always get a divorce if it doesn't work out. But having a kid- whether it's yours or adopted- there is no going back. You are committed and legally stuck with this little human until they move out. Even after they move out, you are still bound to this person for life. That is a terrifying thought to me. It makes me feel kinda bad though, because I know so many kids need good homes. But I just don't think I have it in me to be a proper parent.

I was considering it until I saw that it's 35-40k to adopt :/

SnuffleUffleGrass
04-07-2018, 09:50 AM
I was considering it until I saw that it's 35-40k to adopt :/

In some US states to (eventually) adopt from the foster system is much lower. I know (through firsthand knowledge) that the state of California has a lot of financial aid to facilitate adoption from within the foster system.

Ifyouseekamy
04-09-2018, 10:23 PM
Not my cup of tea, but great for all the good parents out there raising healthy, function adults. Hell im barely a functioning adult

kortneykay
04-10-2018, 10:19 PM
It's been 3 yrs since this thread was started. Nope, still don't want kids, lol.

ZeroSugarMonster
04-15-2018, 12:52 PM
I have multiple years as a nanny under my belt. I was also forced to nanny much younger half siblings while growing up. Yep, that was how I spent the latter half of my childhood, and I've got nothing to show for it. With this experience, I know that kids are A LOT of work and as a potential parent, you cannot control or predict what you will yield. I've encountered kids with the most pleasant of temperaments, no learning disabilities, no adhd. When you had to tutor them, it was like a walk in the park on a pleasant day. Then there are kids that will seriously cause you so much inner anxiety and mental strain because they are colicky, temperamental/bratty plus have a host of unidentified learning disabilities and/or adhd which constantly sends them bouncing off walls and you are helpless to do anything but deal the best you can. You never know what you'll pop out, so it's best not to try. Also, kids are A LOT A LOT of money. So I feel that even if I were to get baby fever down the line, unless the guy is loaded, I feel as though it would be abusive for me to have a child that I could not thoroughly support with the best of everything.

Selina M
04-15-2018, 11:31 PM
It's been 3 yrs since this thread was started. Nope, still don't want kids, lol.

3 year check-in time, eh? :D

I've grown ambivalent to the idea but with a LOT of caveats. I like the kids I'm around now, I can see an appeal in having one, but I don't want to lose my identity like all the 'mombies' I know. I refuse to quit working or give up adult-only nights out. I don't see the selfish trait going away. I would resent the kid if I had to lose my whole existence to take care of it.

Ergo, we'd need enough discretionary money to be able to hire a nanny or for SO to stay home himself (though I think he'd go insane, despite saying he'd do it). Second, it would either be through a surrogate or adopting one that's at least past infant stage.

Super personal, but we actually had a mishap a couple years ago & aborted. I *hated* the short time before the procedure and felt nothing but relief after. Good God. The hormones made me depressed to the point of being suicidal, I was getting up to pee 5 times a night, and I couldn't imagine getting any fatter than the tiny bit I already was starting to be. That experience was enough to know I CANNOT be pregnant. No way.

I mentioned the suicidal depression part to my friend, and she went "Oh it'll be fine, you can take antipsychotics". That horrified me. Like, I should fuck with my brain chemistry and take some hardcore drugs with nasty side effects that could permanently alter my mental health... just to pop out a kid? Frick, priorities, man...

HelenaVixen
04-17-2018, 03:36 PM
I have a child and I don’t think I’m having anymore. I love my freedom, and I get a lot of help with her because I have a big family. I have cousins and friends with more than one child (they have litters of kids!) and I hate to be around all their children. I often think of what life would be like if I more than one kid. (All my family thought I would have at least 3 by now) and I almost get a panic attack thinking about it. To be completely honest, I have trouble raising my only one and Your talking about another??? As a baby?? And then a toddler, and then a fuck ass teen that I’m probably gonna have to fight at some point.?!
And I know I’ll be a single mother bc I’m not trying to deal with what I dealt with, with my daughter father. Had me in court for child custody for 5 years only to pull out of the court proceedings when I guess he was “done” fucking my life up. With adopting I’ll be very honest...I wouldn’t care to hear about the child I’m raising meeting their “real mom and dad”. I don’t think I have the heart for it. And even with a sperm donor....I’m raising this kid all by my damn self. No help...nothing. I can’t.
My daughter always asks for a sibling. And I tell her all the time....don’t hold your breathe. Make lots of friends and have them become your “sisters or brothers” cause I’m about done.
This thread is very freeing! Ugh there’s nowhere you can say this without being persecuted! And when you already have a child ppl are expecting you to have another.
For what?

lynn2009
04-28-2018, 08:47 AM
Sometimes peeing hurts after using nair and I can't understand how any woman ever willingly gets pregnant and gives birth, much less repeats the ordeal.

Glamourmilf
05-18-2018, 08:46 AM
I'm way past menopause, and I REALLY thought the " Why don't you have children?" question would've stopped.
But, I was wrong.
When I lived in LA, nobody cared. But now that I live in a small family town,...Ugh!
49900

Elektra Luxx
05-18-2018, 02:09 PM
I have my niece and she is so wonderful and makes me so happy that I feel I want kids.

ScarletKitten
06-29-2018, 04:35 PM
My thoughts exactly.....also, freedom.

50080

SuccubusSasha
06-29-2018, 04:50 PM
Also a scientist with no interest in having children here too!

SnuffleUffleGrass
06-30-2018, 03:12 PM
I'm going to get overly personal here in an effort to help the endangered idea of "freedom of choice to make sound decisions" which is now under threat in the US.

*Severe* mental illness runs in my family. & Not the "artist" type madness/eccentricity that our culture glorifies. Just ugly, dysfunctional scary mental illness that hurts the victim and many people around him or her.

I chose not to have my own kids because of this. Rightatthismoment one of my younger relatives is dying due to the effects of untreated mental illness. I feel terrible for his mom. I remember when he was a cute little kid and no one expected this outcome for him.

I sleep like a baby (heh) knowing I made a sound choice to help myself and world around me by avoiding the passing on of genes that would produce mentally ill children. That is the beauty of choice.

miss.a.p1600
06-30-2018, 04:09 PM
The average cost of a kid in america is like 100K over their entire childhood. And in some areas/situations, probably a lot more

Someone mentioned this before but I would not have a kid if the dude had a shitty income/sucky financial habits/commitment-phobia/cheater/drug addiction/mental health issues/etc so that rules out like 70-80% of men.

There have been times my womb shut down and I even told a dude who suggested we have a baby together that he could not afford to have a baby with me. I later discovered he was also batshit crazy and had an addiction to alcohol. AND this mf had 3 kids already. Nope! Unless he rich af, a dude with more than 2 kids is not attractive to me because the average middle class family income can only handle 2-3 kids max.

SnuffleUffleGrass
06-30-2018, 07:23 PM
There have been times my womb shut down and I even told a dude who suggested we have a baby together that he could not afford to have a baby with me. I later discovered he was also batshit crazy and had an addiction to alcohol. AND this mf had 3 kids already. Nope! Unless he rich af, a dude with more than 2 kids is not attractive to me because the average middle class family income can only handle 2-3 kids max.

Ha this reminded me of a co-worker I had (regular job) who insisted he was going to have kids AND a marriage even though he was drinking himself to death. Like, it was almost funny that he was so deluded about his reality. OTOH I have plenty of relatives who are not too bright and had a bunch of kids. See existence changes so little because losers always feel the need to procreate whether they are mature enough to parent or not.

starburst
06-30-2018, 10:25 PM
-waves hand feverishly- meeeeeeee.

intp here with a similar outlook as the OP. i've had alot of thought on this topic for myself, especially as of recent since my cat recently passed away D: without having anything to care for in that small frame of time, it had me thinking about my future of caring for a human being.

absolutely fucking not lol.

me not having a child =
1. saves money
2. doesn't add to the overpopulation issue
3. less stress
4. more time and freedom to do things for me
5. not passing off bad genetics (mental)
6. did i mention how much cheaper it is?
7. i can be flexible with my other family obligations (grandparents are getting olddddd :/ )
8. more sleep lol
9. i'm not gonna have to go through pregnancy
10. my boobs won't get any bigger (back problems already)

i mean, there are plenty more i can rattle off, but really - i just can't fathom feeding into the greater problem of overpopulation...plus, i'm pretty insane and i feel like my kid would just wind up as a serial killer or the next einstein - both equally as terrifying honestly lol

with how many issues that go along with kids - and their timeline and when things are happening for them - it just becomes solely centered around them. and that is ok, but i don't think it's ok for me. i'm busy with other things. maybe one day later in life i may adopt if i feel the absolute urge to care for a human being...until then, i'll be a cat mom. cheaper, less stressful (usually), plenty of bonding, and does a shit-ton for my depression and mentality.

LoveyDovey
06-30-2018, 10:40 PM
If you're afraid of passing on mental illness/repeating cycles, and you choose not to have a child, I applaud you.

NPD runs in my family (I didnt realize it until AFTER i had my son). I broke the cycle. Thankfully my son is growing up with a big heart and is respectful and kind to people.

SnuffleUffleGrass
07-01-2018, 06:10 PM
Other funny idea- thanks to the advent of computers (& with it AI)………..we really don't need more Einsteins. It would help sure but now we rely on science and tech so heavily that breakthroughs will be rarer. Barring an Apocalyptic event we will have enough potential geniuses emerge from our existing population.

Ladycaxe
12-25-2018, 09:03 AM
i
do not want kids
:duck:

2 expensive 2 time consuming 2 painful & I like my natural boobies lol :peace:

AChildOfBoredom
12-25-2018, 11:38 AM
Color me undecided. I don’t want them know… I don’t know what the future holds. Of course, having been present and at an unfortunate angle when a friend of mine gave birth really doesn’t make the idea of childbirth seem in any way appealing to me. I swear, I could hear that thing tell me it was going to consume my soul, then the baby came out looking like some of kind of imp from the seventh level to me… or again, maybe I’m just lacking in maternal instincts.

I have custody of a 16 year-old and charge of another one (my sister), plus I have a cat. That’s enough for me for now.

ZeroSugarMonster
12-25-2018, 01:19 PM
I had to forego the latter part of my own childhood to raise half-siblings. They all had some kind of learning disabilities and behavioral issues. So it was hard. So I guess I'm one of those ppl that doesn't want to pass on bad genes, or have kids just to have kids.

I know a few ppl who got 'baby fever' and had kids. I don't have that yet. I like saving my money. I like having the freedom to go where I please. As far as developed nations go, the US is an awful place to have kids unless you are wealthy. Etc. Etc.

Like, why do people even bother?

seashell
12-25-2018, 02:13 PM
I had to forego the latter part of my own childhood to raise half-siblings. They all had some kind of learning disabilities and behavioral issues. So it was hard. So I guess I'm one of those ppl that doesn't want to pass on bad genes, or have kids just to have kids.

I know a few ppl who got 'baby fever' and had kids. I don't have that yet. I like saving my money. I like having the freedom to go where I please. As far as developed nations go, the US is an awful place to have kids unless you are wealthy. Etc. Etc.

Like, why do people even bother?

I don't have it yet, either. Maybe I never will, I'm already 30. Freedom is so, so, so important. And I totally agree, I don't think I'd want to raise my kid in the US, with our costly healthcare and higher education. I'd rather live in a less wealthy country, where I can afford a nanny and a maid.

SweetJuliaXXX
12-26-2018, 02:03 PM
Hell no, I don't want kids.
1-animals are cute and fluffy; kids aren't.
2-don't wanna ruin my stomach tattoo.
3-don't care to pass on the crappy genes I inherited.

REDDBONE
12-26-2018, 02:11 PM
girl i criiiiieddd at number 3 lmfaoo golden post right here lol



Hell no, I don't want kids.
1-animals are cute and fluffy; kids aren't.
2-don't wanna ruin my stomach tattoo.
3-don't care to pass on the crappy genes I inherited.