View Full Version : The Random Thoughts Thread...
miss.a.p1600
05-14-2019, 07:47 PM
^once men get past a certain age, they get lazy and complacent
It’s a lot of effort for the average middle age (and older) man to keep a rotation - unless he’s rich ex. Hugh Hefner
Rather than chase ass every night, they’d stay in an unhappy relationship as long as they get attention and frequent sex. And like you said some are just trained to believe that’s as good as they gone get. The longer they stay in dysfunctional relationship the harder it is to leave.
carmen_b
05-14-2019, 08:32 PM
^ Sad but true. Without a maintenance plan people ( both genders ) get so lax. Us ( former partner and I ) included. Such a sad thing. It really is.
WendiStarr
05-15-2019, 03:06 AM
Why the heck do I keep waking up too early? Maybe I should start going for early morning runs or something. I tried ahem-"right-clicking my mouse" and it didn't help me fall back asleep.
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-16-2019, 12:30 PM
I'm really curious if one of my good friends went through with his courthouse marriage today. They're such private people and weren't going to make a big deal out of it at all, so there's nothing on Facebook, but I don't know if that's because they didn't do it or because they're just not gonna announce it publicly.
They were originally going to do it Saturday morning, but he texted me a lot Friday night expressing some serious frustrations with the relationship and saying he had convinced her to put it off until Tuesday morning because he doesn't want to just end up in a second marriage that's exactly like his first. They've been together for several years, and I like his girlfriend as a person, but I finally said that night what's been on my mind for awhile now, which that she is not a good girlfriend. She's selfish and childish, and he gives so much to the relationship to never receive any sort of effort from her in return. She doesn't even take care of herself, let alone put anything into trying to take care of him and anything he wants or needs. She's not a terrible person, but she needs to get her shit together, and she never does. Her terrible choices, leading to high levels of anxiety and not being able to handle herself, has literally put him in the hospital, because he stresses out so much about her stress that he'll suddenly burst an ulcer and start bleeding internally.
2 thoughts- A lot of older men do have this issue (they feel they have less options than younger guys, not really true because most have the leverage of financial resources)
and
if he's so stressed out by this woman that he's having ulcers burst, what is the point of marrying her and being stuck with a source of stress so strong it could be fatal?
Anyway that's why I avoid trying to help people with relationship drama. If he's willing to do this to himself I don't think anyone can help him.
Random thought- don't eat sweets, trying to lose weight.
JGB2009
05-16-2019, 12:56 PM
Feeling unloved.....
charlie61
05-16-2019, 08:19 PM
Binge reading articles on Byrdie.com
Selina M
05-16-2019, 11:12 PM
How come... out of 2-500 photos a photographer will take at a shoot... they always choose AWFUL ones to put in their portfolio?
These are paid gigs, often by hobbyists or people who haven't been doing it long, so maybe it's just a matter of them not having a good eye or something? I don't know. I'm always kind of appalled at their choices.
Like, I know I don't photograph badly. The ones I use from trade shoots are ones I like, and those are the ones people book me based on... But sheesh. Sometimes the paid shoots will still give me all the photos and I'll find a dozen really great shots that the photographer passed up for the shitty ones. :confused:
Ladycaxe
05-17-2019, 10:37 AM
Back on the Juul subject. Does anyone else use them? I've been trying to research about the negative long term side effects.
I cant seem to find any...besides the fact it's a gateway to smoking tobacco products...most of these debates are generally towards high schoolers than are Juuling
There's not tobacco in juul. Nicotine, a couple glycerol substances, and flavor.
Nicotine is forsure addictive. But if it doesnt pose nearly as much risk ask cigarettes ( which I quit anyway bcuz the smell/taste is just terrible, especially since I do it during work).
Basically what I'm finding is that nicotine isn't really what kills people (well they said It can to lead 2 heart attack later), but as far as like cancer and what not, I dont think theres nearly as much risk as cigarettes :P
WendiStarr
05-17-2019, 04:37 PM
I got myself into a mess and I don't know who to talk to about it without hearing some judgmental reaction. :-/
JGB2009
05-17-2019, 04:50 PM
I just made chicken salad. Its now chilling inside the refrigerator.
amberlly
05-18-2019, 04:38 AM
I live in my own world and I prefer it that way.
JGB2009
05-18-2019, 07:24 AM
I can be so mean.....but why am I having such a hard time putting my foot down now.
Elektra Luxx
05-18-2019, 02:25 PM
I really like your new avatar carmen_b. Where was the pic taken if you don't mind me asking?
WendiStarr
05-18-2019, 05:36 PM
Homemade fudge is good. I must resist the urge to eat more than one piece.
AChildOfBoredom
05-18-2019, 06:22 PM
They arrive Tuesday. I'm apprehensive as fuck about this.
carmen_b
05-18-2019, 09:26 PM
I feel like 30 days is the MAX for " I'll be celibate and you be celibate since we are in different areas of the world " .
Thoughts?
Fuck , ONE minute after I typed that he left an audio message in that heart melting accent.
What am I gonna do ? What is WRONG with me or is everyone like this ?
JessaJade
05-19-2019, 03:51 AM
^ Had you both agreed to be celibate? If he'd been unclear about away indefinitely I wouldn't feel bad about doing my own thing.
WendiStarr
05-19-2019, 08:10 AM
Bf said he was checking out of the hotel at 11am and would be coming over here. It's after 11 and he hasn't texted me yet. He spent 6 hours texting me last night, telling me that he loves me, talking about all the fun times we've had together, and invited me to his hotel but said he got two beds so that we could each sleep on a bed. I didn't go because I was 45 minutes away and settled in for the night, plus I wouldn't have wanted to sleep in separate beds. I would've wanted to sleep in bed, cuddled up against him. I know his work shift starts in a few hours. I still don't know what his plans are and I'm still frustrated at not knowing what's up. I need to be focusing on studying for the exam and finding a new townhouse, condo, or rental house.
Elektra Luxx
05-19-2019, 10:35 AM
It's such a violation of woman's trust and privacy when someone posts a intimate video or pic that was just intended for the viewing by the people in the video or pic.
I'm stumbled across a story of a female wrestler who became depressed and suicidal because someone posted something that was supposed to be private. It makes me very angry, then sad.
JGB2009
05-19-2019, 11:02 AM
I had no plans to wake up and do what I did.....but hey you pushed me and you had it coming!!!
carmen_b
05-19-2019, 11:20 AM
I’ll ask for clarification today.
He says his plan is to get back to me.
I think I’m losing interest due to not seeing each other 20 days and no SET date to reunite.
He literally phrased it ( when I asked a week ago ) " I am getting back there to keep pleasuring you babe ".
He claims to not be seeing others, but how is this POSSIBLE ? Three weeks without intimacy! I'm going insane here.
I need to make business decisions *now* to keep June 1-15 clear ( assign myself to the remote pieces / assign others to the in person pieces ). He knows how my job works and knows this already .
^ I think that’s how I’ll phrase it .
To me, it's just not NORMAL to call and text " Hey Baby blah blah blah " stuff when there is no PLAN to get together.
If he has something to do in Oz / some kind of need to make it mid June instead of early June like I'm wanting then TELL me the reason. It's the lack of a plan bothering me as much as the celibacy ( 24-48 hour " last call " count down here ).
^ Had you both agreed to be celibate? If he'd been unclear about away indefinitely I wouldn't feel bad about doing my own thing.
carmen_b
05-19-2019, 12:24 PM
For $500 flat I found a one way option to stop in Honolulu for 48 hours before coming here ! He said he has always wanted to surf Hawaii .
I also offered to pay for half the ticket ( I know .... I shouldn't have even offered ). I guess I felt like it was ok to offer to pay half because he was coming to ME. It's my schedule creating a hold up in late May ( I have to be near Vegas May 29 - June 1 ).
^ Is it booked ? NO !
Stay HOME then B even though you OPENLY talk about being bored with it !
JessaJade
05-19-2019, 02:00 PM
^ JMO - don't make any more effort with him. He could be game-playing, or just biding his time and stringing you along. Talk is cheap...calls and texts aren't giving you what you want!
carmen_b
05-19-2019, 03:28 PM
I think I have cleared my conscience here. I was attempting to be faithful / monogamous but he seems in NO hurry ( and no explanation for the no hurry as well ). I would completely get it if there was a reason. He knows my sex drive is high and this is torture to me.
This is an ongoing theme ( I was happy seeing him only every 6-7 days during the first month we were together, but not happy it didn't increase to a couple times a week the 2nd month ) . He does have to be out of the U.S.A at least 30 days from what I understand about the Australia travel requirements.
I could also rent my place out , get a job done here May 29-June 1 , and be on a plane anywhere he wanted June 2.
I worked hard for this type of life. I need a more organized partner to do larger scale things with.
I don't think I will ever solve the " mystery " of why he is so slow ...........
If he guilts me for fading, I'll remind him that he did not seize the opportunity to reunite in early June and he did absolutely nothing. It's 100% true. He won't be able to argue it.
I'm going to either Hawaii, Mexico, or Montana, ( a weird and varied selection I know ) June 1-15 . Even though my home area is great right now with weather, I'm wanting to GO.
carmen_b
05-19-2019, 08:04 PM
I really don’t know what he has to gain keeping a just text thing going ?
Ego boosting ? We should have done phone calls or maybe it’s better we didn’t.
He knew I was struggling big time yesterday and couldn’t even get to wi-fi to call me.
Maybe it's just as simple as he just never intended to " keep " me as a partner . I didn't feel that way at the time.
WendiStarr
05-20-2019, 04:51 AM
^ Some guys get off on the whole, keeping in contact through text thing. It absolutely can be an ego boost for them. Many of guys who do this will be carrying on, texting several females just to get that rush when they have no intention of actually doing anything. He could be stringing you along. I had a guy do that to me before and I wasted too much time on him. He just wanted a boredom text buddy, I guess. Keep living your life. Don't offer to pay any plane ticket or travel costs for him. He should be wanting to see you bad enough to do that himself. If he wants to be with you, he'll make time, not excuses and slow-ass sloth behavior.
miss.a.p1600
05-20-2019, 07:29 AM
^yes! My former favorite former coworker that I somehow developed a slight crush on would do the exact same thing.
He would text me all the time, make promises and never follow through (like maybe I cook for you one day, when can I take you to lunch, nothing will come between us, and other bullshit euphemisms) and it took me getting out of denial cause I liked his friendship to see the cotdamn truth!.......this mf wasn’t about shit and wasted my time just to get his thrills and ego boosts.
My dumb ass carried on for months not willing to accept that this dude was just stringing me along giving me just enough but never following through with real action.
And I doubt I was the only one he was doing this with.
If you cool with texting pen pals then carry on
Real men take action cause the want to be in your presence, get to know you in real life, and don’t want another man to come claim you.
Some of them are insecure and know that if you really got to know them in the real world outside of texting then you’d discover they are not that great, have hella flaws, cheap af, addictions, inadequate, etc. It’s easier and more satisfying to hide behind a charade of texts and put up a digital barrier masked with fake promises of real intimacy
I finally came to my senses and quit trying to rekindle texts that were going nowhere but into text pen pal zone. I’d rather go on Phrendly and get paid to do that. I’d only do that for free if I were in jail or something and bored out of my mind.
Don’t let these men waste your time and your youth!!!
carmen_b
05-20-2019, 12:46 PM
^ Yes. I feel good. I'm always open that I " don't do " long distance and I'm honest and clear about it with partners. I was going to make a SPECIAL exception for him ( 30 days ) and now the clock on that is out in 11 days.
I will move on solo with my travel plans. He had the opportunity to help me choose the next location and arrange something together a couple days ago. Now he doesn't . I can't stand the slow behavior and lack of enthusiasm to reunite any longer.
If he told me he rented us an apartment for the month of June in Melbourne a couple days ago, I would have been happy to go there.
DonaDiabla
05-20-2019, 12:53 PM
I am trying to figure out how the whole "catfish findom" fetish got so big on Twitter?
AChildOfBoredom
05-20-2019, 01:55 PM
It's such a violation of woman's trust and privacy when someone posts a intimate video or pic that was just intended for the viewing by the people in the video or pic.
I'm stumbled across a story of a female wrestler who became depressed and suicidal because someone posted something that was supposed to be private. It makes me very angry, then sad.
I have a friend whose photos were posted on one of those ‘revenge porn’ sites, along with her name, address, phone number, and other details. Takes a real scumbag motherfucker to do that sort of thing. Well, that’s a good descriptor of who frequents those sorts of sites. This is why I don’t bother dating.
Anyhow, I’m at the airport, waiting for them to arrive. Right in time to give them an introduction to I40 at rush hour, nonetheless.
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-20-2019, 04:15 PM
Ever found out something so shocking and awful that once you get over the horrified feelings you have....you experience a positive personal development?
Basically my interest in defending women's rights has made me get over the tendency I have to hold grudges against women. I'm not giving anyone free passes on horrible behavior. Rather, channeling my energy in another way that will produce meaningful change.
WendiStarr
05-21-2019, 03:51 AM
Depending on the weather in a couple hours, I plan on going for a bike ride.
NitaBaby
05-21-2019, 05:02 AM
Depending on how well I do on SM this week, I'm going to take my daughter's to Splashtown this Saturday. It'll be my reward for making rent this week instead of next week - giving them a day at the waterpark.
AChildOfBoredom
05-21-2019, 12:12 PM
I put my sister to work playing chauffeur. My friend has a license, but she’s not a city driver, and the general motoring public is pretty horrible.
carmen_b
05-21-2019, 12:43 PM
Gotta push through this week .
Does anyone consider months with 31 days lucky ? I feel like it gives a little extra time to make $$ goals.
I'm on track but not 100% there.
I'll be pushing towards the goal with both hustles ( day job by day and club by night ). I aimed for mid week on purpose. The club is giving me anxiety on the weekends ( I hate being crowded and the weekend traffic doesn't seem worth the lack of space / breathing room ). I hope it works out ! I have a third hustle ( my massage bookings ) but I'm not feeling that one. I book people and then cancel. It's hard to give someone a 50 minute block for the cost of 4-5 dances. This plan should keep me out of the club those last few days of the month ( when the girls are desperate and the guys are tight too for rent payments ) .
WendiStarr
05-21-2019, 02:53 PM
I'm attempting to make homemade black bean veggie burgers. Fingers crossed that they turn out yummy.
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-21-2019, 06:51 PM
My blender had to be thrown out today. That's what I get for paying $17 for a blender. OTOH the thrift store sourced Osterizer food processor I got for $3.50 works fine & is constructed better, lol......
WendiStarr
05-22-2019, 06:56 AM
While walking back from taking my daughter to the bus stop this morning I saw a big brown rat sitting in front of the main door to my apartment building. It went scurrying and magically squeezed itself in a crack between the pavement and the door. Ugh! I can't wait until my lease here is up in August. I'm seriously contemplating moving out early and seeing if I can find someone who'd like a place to stay for a couple months. The problem with that is it would have to be someone who'd be responsible and pay rent on time and not cause any drama. I don't think I know of any such people.
NitaBaby
05-22-2019, 07:05 AM
While walking back from taking my daughter to the bus stop this morning I saw a big brown rat sitting in front of the main door to my apartment building. It went scurrying and magically squeezed itself in a crack between the pavement and the door. Ugh! I can't wait until my lease here is up in August. I'm seriously contemplating moving out early and seeing if I can find someone who'd like a place to stay for a couple months. The problem with that is it would have to be someone who'd be responsible and pay rent on time and not cause any drama. I don't think I know of any such people.
Same. Bugs and critters make me feel like I'M the dirty bastard and it's just really annoying, living somewhere that has those issues.
WendiStarr
05-22-2019, 09:54 AM
Same. Bugs and critters make me feel like I'M the dirty bastard and it's just really annoying, living somewhere that has those issues.
Right! I hear ya. I keep my place clean. From now on I am not leaving trash of any kind in my apartment when I'm not home or I'm going to have to get a heavy duty trash can that's not easily broken into. What cracks me up is the apartment complex I live in charges $950+ for rent and calls themselves "upscale", yet I have neighbors who leave their smelly trash in the hallway or outside the main door. Someone had a shitty diaper sitting in the hall today. That kind of nastiness is what attracts rats.
carmen_b
05-22-2019, 02:01 PM
I'm in a terrible phase of " meh " trying to do the day job and dancing together.
It just isn't working perfectly. I'm going to keep doing it though because I know the dancer money ( if I keep at ) will off set that " omg, is anyone going to buy something this week ? " panic I sometimes feel with my normal gig. I'm explaining this as if 80% of us here are not doing multiple hustles at the same time hahah .
I guess I'm just saying I'm tired mostly ....... but determined to push through.
I'm having weird thoughts too regarding the ex ( who hated dancing ). Like ..... if he knew I was back at it and not 100% killing at my day job ( hence the need to dance ) it would just " reaffirm " to him that leaving me was right. I cover my tracks very well but you just never 100% know. ;/
AChildOfBoredom
05-22-2019, 06:39 PM
I thought my friend would take a little time for bereavement, but she’s getting right into it. She wanted to start working right away. Maybe it’s her way of coping, not being idle and allowing herself to dwell, or maybe she’s already done her mourning… she had time to before the fact.
whirlerz
05-22-2019, 07:07 PM
I am sickened by some related shit I read about that Incel guy, some people are just too disgusting.
JGB2009
05-22-2019, 07:21 PM
Funny a couple of years ago what made me happy then has been replaced. Woooaaaaaa so weird!!!!
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-23-2019, 07:34 AM
I thought my friend would take a little time for bereavement, but she’s getting right into it. She wanted to start working right away. Maybe it’s her way of coping, not being idle and allowing herself to dwell, or maybe she’s already done her mourning… she had time to before the fact.
It's healthier to stay busy.
OK this is very random but I have to share it- the news story of actress Natalie Portman Versus Moby the musician's differing accounts of their relationship years ago reminded me of something.....One of my cousins looked a lot like Natalie when she was younger (they're around the same age so it was almost a dead ringer-similarity, but my cousin has softer features frame-wise.)
The punchline is, my poor cousin was barely aware of this because her parents raised her with extreme immersion in religion and keeping busy with school and work, so the idea of her capitalizing on her looks was far from her mind.
It only became glaringly obvious when Cousin got a job where she had to work with the public all day and she developed a serious problem with stalkers. (Back then Natalie mentioned she had the same issue, she just used different wording.)
I just had to share this because strippers get so hardened to how predictable some male sex drive behaviors are, but women who don't work in the adult industry really don't dwell on it until they have to.
IMO I believe Natalie's version of what happened with Moby, he was a bit of sex addict and was just behaving as usual (for him.) Given her status at the time she probably didn't blink at having him all googly-eyed at her.
Elle:)
05-23-2019, 09:25 AM
Has someone tried acupuncture? Can you feel the needles going in?
JGB2009
05-23-2019, 02:17 PM
Today u showed me once again how stupid you really are!!!
Elektra Luxx
05-23-2019, 04:30 PM
Today u showed me once again how stupid you really are!!!
Sorry!, I'll figure it out myself, Sheesh! jk
AChildOfBoredom
05-23-2019, 05:03 PM
Had a friend call me, and she was clearly upset and freaking out a bit. So I thought maybe something bad had happened.... what a fucking drama queen. So, they had bought one of those Power Wheels cars for their kid. The problem is, her and her husband combined can't even assemble IKEA furniture, so of course they had no idea what to do with this. And in times like this, they're both afflicted with this inability to actually ask what they want to ask, so I was like, "Did you need someone to come over and assemble it?". And of course they did. So I looked up the instructions online, asked my friend if she could put it together, which she said she could, so I printed off those and directions to their place and sent her because I didn't feel like doing it. Easy $50 for her. Sometimes I appreciate people with more money than aptitude.
WendiStarr
05-23-2019, 06:16 PM
I find it kind of odd how I am running on 3 hours of sleep, yet no matter how hard I try I cannot fall asleep. I worked out for a half hour, thinking that that would make me tired, laid down and closed my eyes, and ended up not being able to sleep. It didn't help that multiple people were blowing up my phone, yet I'm always paranoid that something bad will end up happening if I turn my ringer off and that I'd miss it and feel guilty.