View Full Version : The Random Thoughts Thread...
Aurora_Sunset
12-23-2019, 11:30 AM
I don't wanna go work tonight. Like, moreso than usual.
lynn2009
12-23-2019, 01:57 PM
I have been low key sick for about 2 weeks now. I am more sick today and coughing loudly and I'm sure obnoxiously. I think someone complained to my boss cause she's out this week but just sent me an email "Did we discuss using sick time instead of instead of vacation time?" Sorry office neighbours. But I want a big, fat payout of PTO when I leave in 2020.
AChildOfBoredom
12-24-2019, 03:14 PM
There was a pretty large box delivered the other day, and it was from my former roommate. We still send each other Christmas presents. This year, he got something for everyone in the house, as well as my friend from the community and her children. I became suspicious because there was something for the Irish woman, and I know he absolutely can’t stand Americans who prattle on about how ‘Irish’ they are (something they both have in common), but I never really knew of it was just them, or if that was his disposition towards the Irish diaspora as a whole, so I was worried it might be a painting of Oliver Cromwell or something to that effect, because he’s always had an assholish sense of humor. So I called him last night to ask why the gifts were and he told me (except the one that was for me), and I was pretty impressed. He came up with some really thoughtful and practical gift ideas for people he’s never met, based solely on what tidbits of information he got about them from me. I also love that he seeks out locally sourced gifts, and handmade ones when it’s practical, because he thinks there’s no point in getting someone something they could go five minutes down the road to Target or Walmart and get for themselves.
He must’ve gotten another thing of wrapping paper… he always uses this Realtree camo wrapping paper from… Cabela’s? Bass Pro?… pink Realtree for any women, regular Realtree for males… last year, my gift was in a snow pattern, so I inquired why. He’d run out of the pink, so he used “the gender neutral one”. What a jackass. And he just writes the name of the recipient in marker… never leaves a tag who it’s from.
It makes me sad at the same time, though. I really wish he’d someone or something in his life that made him happy, but I know at the same time he’d be inclined to reject it… he just has a way of thriving in misery. Took forever to convince him to buy a bed after he parted ways with his ex-… he bought a rubber mat for the floor and some cinder blocks to sleep on, because he never wants to let himself get too comfortable, as he put it.
I wish he’d come back to North Carolina. I miss him, his friends here miss him. But he really seems to like Colorado.
Aurora_Sunset
12-24-2019, 05:03 PM
Someone posted something to facebook asking a question about whether or not your childhood crush was doing well these days. I suddenly tried to remember my first crush, and decided to Facebook stalk him out of curiosity.
He's a paramedic and firefighter now.
I jokingly told my friend, "See? I knew we had things in common, even back then." lol
NitaBaby
12-24-2019, 05:54 PM
My home is finally clean. I even reorganized the layout of the living room. All the clothes are hung up. All the towels are folded. Pumpkin spice candles are burning in every room. I got rid of all the ugly wires laying around my tv/entertainment center. Now it's time for Christmas movies and hot chocolate :)
lynn2009
12-24-2019, 05:58 PM
When I submitted my first mortgage applications, my middle credit score (the one they use for to create your interest rate) was 699. I was one account in collections, that is legit, with 2 out of the 3 credit bureaus. I vaguely remember disputing it once a long time ago, and I guess it was with Equifax which is the credit agency that doesn't show any negative accounts. I disputed with the other two tonight. I read that if you dispute, you have a very good chance of having even legit accounts removed because if they can't explicitly prove it is legit, they are required by law to remove it. And most agencies keep very poor records. Wish me luck. Even having it removed from 2 out of the 3 bureaus would be a huge help.
NitaBaby
12-24-2019, 06:14 PM
^this definitely works. I've had a number of accounts removed when I was trying to improve my score. Remarkable how many companies actually came off my record. One of them was legit AND the largest amount that I owed and it was taken off, too.
lynn2009
12-24-2019, 08:00 PM
^this definitely works. I've had a number of accounts removed when I was trying to improve my score. Remarkable how many companies actually came off my record. One of them was legit AND the largest amount that I owed and it was taken off, too.
That's awesome. My credit score without this collections is gold standard, over 800.
NitaBaby
12-25-2019, 07:28 AM
^ That’s awesome.
I’m seriously considering getting on cam today. I already fucked around and told my cousin to expect me but I still wanna make this money. I really should make it happen, especially since I didn’t even work yesterday like I swore I would.
carmen_b
12-25-2019, 02:23 PM
Yessssss.
Gotta admit I'm excited the holidays are almost well on their way to being over ( Merry Christmas haha ) !
Can we all just get back to making money now ?
My day job customers were clinging to their wallets as usual and I was too scared to invest time in the risky holiday time frame in the club. Times are lean haha. Onward to January and more $$$.
JGB2009
12-25-2019, 04:46 PM
Feeling very unsociable........I have to go up to the store in a minute. Id rather just stay home.
carmen_b
12-26-2019, 12:35 PM
Gonna dust off the massage hustle.
I mean , I AM in a fancy ski town with the hotels in one area / cluster.
Worth a try. Those hotels are right down the road v.s. the club I prefer being 2.5 hours away.
Putting ads up. Wish me luck. ;)
WendiStarr
12-26-2019, 03:13 PM
Frick! Why do people have to let off fireworks tonight? That scared the shit out of me. I live in a nicer area but there has been unusual activity around here lately. Just within the past week 2 people killed themselves nearby my home. At first I thought that noise was a gun shot. I'm going to be wearing noise-blocking headphones for New Year's Eve, for sure.
chanzep
12-26-2019, 07:35 PM
Back to work the last few days of my seasonal job tommorow.
AChildOfBoredom
12-26-2019, 09:30 PM
My parents have finally had a chance to try tacos. And they absolutely loved them. If I accomplish nothing else in the time that they’re here, I at least have that.
JGB2009
12-27-2019, 02:58 PM
When you kiss me on my head..... hehe that's so cute!!!!
NitaBaby
12-27-2019, 03:17 PM
I'm not even in the mood for this shit. And it shows.
I want so badly to bank today but I also want so badly to get the fuck out of this bra and throw this phony pony across the room.
Nothing about my mood will allow to be pretend with these guys.
I don't want to say hi to these strangers. I don't want to open my legs for these strangers. I don't want to ruin this fresh shower feeling for these strangers. I'm not in the mood.
carmen_b
12-27-2019, 05:15 PM
I was a ball of PMS fueled neediness. Dinner cancelled / M delayed.
I was being weird and emotionally demanding. He was being aggressive and said some not very nice things. I did too I imagine in retaliation.
We still managed to get some sexy times going. Better luck tomorrow. ;/
lynn2009
12-27-2019, 09:31 PM
.......
carmen_b
12-28-2019, 09:47 AM
Tonight was great.
Honestly.......is there anything better than being taken out for a meal and then getting the D ?
It's a classic that never gets old. I can't think of anything better except maybe a spa day.
JGB2009
12-28-2019, 03:09 PM
Drained and exhausted. I love how anxiety makes me feel.
Ifyouseekamy
12-28-2019, 04:49 PM
Doing a self-care day. I was like is self care getting all dressed up and going out or is self care wearing no makeup and being low key.
carmen_b
12-28-2019, 05:28 PM
^ Either ! Which did you go with ?
chanzep
12-28-2019, 09:01 PM
Today was last day of vanilla job. They said I can pick up shifts but I dnt really want to. Vanilla job over the holidays made me miss club's so bad.
Ifyouseekamy
12-29-2019, 01:03 AM
^ Either ! Which did you go with ?
I decided no make up and Victoria secret sweat suit- the ultimate stripper apparel on nights off from the club. I went and saw bombshell-the movie about Meghan Kelly outing Roger Ailes at FOX news. I wasn’t sure what to expect from a movie based on a true story of sexual harassment, but I liked it.
WendiStarr
12-29-2019, 08:19 AM
BD has been around lately. So far it's been 3 nights and 4 days. I've been on bed rest although I still cam at night and he has been working from home, too to be with me. It's nice when he's with me but I don't know if and when he'll suddenly change and disappear again. That part is what sucks. I need stability in my life.
carmen_b
12-29-2019, 11:11 AM
^ I really feel for that . Ugh. The flaking ( and fear surrounding it ) sounds very stressful.
WendiStarr
12-29-2019, 04:43 PM
I should've known it was short-lasting. He just left a half hour ago, wouldn't tell me where he was going, just said that he has plans and will be back in the morning to go to the hospital with me to keep me company for the 3 hours of testing. -_- I'm not counting on him actually showing up. At least the hospital is close by and I can bring my laptop with me to read Kindle or something while I'm waiting. Men are so disappointing.
And..he changed his mind again. He's back.
carmen_b
12-29-2019, 07:58 PM
M so OWES OWES OWES me.
I gave him a rough 9a.m. - 8 p.m. block of time ( literally leaving only 30-60 minutes for myself and my clients today ).
I just felt like he needed the help so badly that I couldn't just not assist him today ( he checked his first AirBnB guests in ..... a 5 day $2500 reservation ).
We hustled so hard getting it fully prepared .
Anyway .......... he owes me a serious day of TLC.
I will be perusing spa menus at 8:30 p.m. and he will be handing his credit card to me at 8:45 p.m.
I may keep it under $200 as a gesture of my good will . Haha.
JGB2009
12-30-2019, 02:33 AM
Its just me here but I smell weed. Odd.......
AChildOfBoredom
12-30-2019, 04:45 AM
Beware the devil’s spinach!!!!!
I have to work today, so that leaves my parents with my sister and my ‘refugee’. Which, they seem to be warming up to the latter, but I’m really worried about them saying something off-color to her.
JGB2009
12-30-2019, 12:06 PM
Last night I cleaned up my house before I started my cam shift. I had planned to work a 4 hour shift but I ended up getting really tired and only lasted 3 hours. Mind you it was 5 am. Tonight I plan to start much earlier. This time I hope to make it through my whole shift :-)
carmen_b
12-30-2019, 03:18 PM
M gave me the most incredible hand job last night. Damn.
carmen_b
12-30-2019, 03:23 PM
Now I'm scared of going to the club on a holiday. ;/ But some money is better than nothing right ? Even if it's that terrible holiday energy or lots of looking and little buying.
lynn2009
12-31-2019, 03:32 PM
If December is any indication, I am not feeling set up for a good 2020. Since going to Urgent Care and getting meds I feel sicker and sicker, woke up today feeling like the flu instead of just a cough so I worked a couple of hours from home this morning then signed off and put up my autoreply. But I was supposed to work for a half hour or so this evening to approve time-sheets and pull some metrics reports, but now those need to hang over my head until Thursday morning when I need to beg someone in IT to give me a temporary password because I need an app on my phone to work from home and my phone was stolen today. I took my dog to the dog park, which is already making me nervous because he has been increasingly badly behaved at the dog park. Like when dogs don't want to play he barks in their face, nips, jumps on them. I don't know why he is doing this now. It is really upsetting me because he has no recall, so it is the only place I know he won't get away from me again and if he can't burn off energy here we are in for a world of hurt. So we were in the dog park for a little bit but no one was there and he won't play by himself so we left. I start walking him around the larger community park and I realize at some point that my phone must have fallen out of my pocket, and I am not too worried at first because I literally just used a phone 30 seconds before. But someone must have seen it fall out and immediately snatch it, cause I looked all the fuck over for that phone is it was gone. I looked and looked, getting increasingly upset because I am worried about my personal data on the phone, and my stupid dog is still barking at everyone in sight and pulling on the leash. I drive to work to use my work phone to call my cell phone and no one is answering. Then I drive home, drop the dog off and brick my phone for everything but calls. I went back to the dog park, and someone was nice enough to let me use their phone to call mine. A couple of calls went through and then they weren't connecting, so now I know it's stolen and someone must have put it on airplane mode. Then I stay and visit at the dog park a little bit. I went back to work to try to get a thing from IT to be able to work tonight, but everyone's already gone for the day at 4. Then I go back home and look up the exact location where my phone last pinged, which is around where I thought it was but I took my dog back to the park to double check the exact location from google. Still no luck, FML, hopefully I don't get outted to my entire company and fired. Since we were there, I still took my dog to the dog park area and he misbehaves again. I'm really worried about the phone and all the auto-logins I have set up on it and I'm really worried about why my dog is misbehaving so much lately. By the end of the day is barely registered to me tonight is NYE. I'm sick, have no friends to do anything with, and am going to spend the night watching Grace and Frankie for the fourth time like a fucking loser.
AChildOfBoredom
12-31-2019, 05:39 PM
My parents had never actually celebrated New Years before, and wanted to do something. So I found something which I felt might be not too uncomfortable for a Mennonite couple who'd only ever known the Anabaptist way of life. Which, for myself, my friend from the community, my sister, and the Amish girl was fine, because we all came from that background. My 'refugee' and the Irish woman seemed to have a bit of reservation, so I looked at them and lightheartedly said to them, "No.... there is no escape, and you are all coming with me". And they got really freaked out when I said that, and I couldn't figure out why until a couple hours later, when I realized that not only had I inadvertently made a movie quote, but which movie it had come from:
https://youtu.be/giiuqTdBSTc
We all watched it together, and they both had nightmares after watching it. Which, in the case of the Irish woman, it probably didn't help that I jumped out at her in the dark one night with my arms outstretched and yelling, "Do you see? DO YOU SEE?". She wasn't amused about that. But I was.
carmen_b
12-31-2019, 06:59 PM
He is unhappy with me for not " helping enough " today. I'm kind of sitting here just thinking of my depleted weekend ( due to helping him and not having time for anything else ) and going wtf ?
carmen_b
12-31-2019, 07:08 PM
I am sure my friends / family are going to think this whole thing was pretty odd. I have always been actively outspoken about hating winter. Then end up in a ski town living with a dude I barely know.
I was deeply missing my former partner J today ( or I should say the former version of him pre - 2018 before his mid life crisis ) .
I'm giving myself some leeway on it . I've been crying about it for a good part of an hour. I mean .... he was a big part of the last decade ( Aug . 2011 - Aug . 2018 ) so I guess it's not so " random " that I'd miss him today especially with M being weird today.
I will admit I'm tempted to spy on him online ( I blocked everything to make the temptation wouldn't be there ).
carmen_b
12-31-2019, 08:58 PM
So we had a conversation ......... ;/
It's true I didn't help today as well as I could have ( I moved a few boxes, made a bed, did some things in the kitchen for the guests downstairs, and mostly kept to myself ) BUT he is not recognizing the work I have put in the last 3 weeks. I spoke up for myself and explained the difficulty from my side when he requests time during business hours ( I am a freelancer but like to keep " hours " for work / life balance ) . I am glad I spoke up but we are in a place of disagreement . He feels very angry I didn't help more today to prep this upper level of the home for AirBnB sales . I thought I had given " enough " time in the last couple weeks . Maybe in a way we are both wrong. I am glad I spoke up.
I am just not happy here even though the home is beautiful ect.
I miss my other life ( luckily it's only 35 minutes away ! ). It was just too *much* to abandon my life and get absorbed into a project ........ but then not get appreciation. Maybe he feels the same . Like .... he expects me to be SO happy to be here. When I'm just feeling "ok" it seems off to everyone.
I didn't just " have " the time . I gave the time and it came from somewhere ( focus to my own job / clients ) . I hope he is at least thinking about that.
JGB2009
12-31-2019, 09:33 PM
Blahhhhh......I am half way ready to get on cam but I am gonna wait till it is officially 2020. This year I did not work as hard as I should have and I made a lot of excuses. Sometimes I let anxiety hold me back on things. I get so drained sometimes. There is always so much to do and so little time. When my daughters dad kept me in court for 2 years I always worked so hard. I worked hard because I knew I always needed money to pay for my lawyer. So if I worked hard then there should be no excuses for me now. Time for me to show 2020 what I am made of..............
WendiStarr
01-01-2020, 07:50 AM
I wish I could sleep more than 4 hours today. I feel so tired and I'm sick but I can't seem to fall back asleep.
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-01-2020, 06:01 PM
Its just me here but I smell weed. Odd.......
Not that weird. In any building with shared AC/heating vents, that odor of weed can carry. I always know when my neighbors are toking up ( I never say anything, I am not a snitch.)
Random- boyfriend and I had a wonderful day, which hasn't been the norm for the past 2 years. Our small business has been stressing us the fuck out to the point of headaches and loud arguments. All my life I thought I had known how to handle stress well, turns out the scariest stress you can feel is the "lurk stress" (anxiety) that goes with long term financial responsibilities.
One of my favorite wise sayings is "You can have it all in this life- just NOT ALL AT THE SAME TIME." So true.
carmen_b
01-01-2020, 10:15 PM
The dog and I have left the snow castle ( likely permanately).
He was supposed to leave me alone to work 10-6 like I'd asked. Normally I leave the house during biz hours but it was a blizzard .
At promptly 4 p.m. ( 5 minutes before cleaners arrive ) he comes and finds me to suggest that I stop what I was doing and work with the professional hired cleaners .
Not at 6 p.m. at the end of my work day ........... at 4 p.m. ( I told him in the morning I set aside two hours for him 6-8p.m. )
I thought he must be joking but given the overall unhappiness as a factor ( he doesn't listen to my requests at all to give me space during work hours ) we waited until he was out shoveling and left. He made suggestions early in the day about wanting me gone . I opted to just take the suggestions at face value v.s. what they most likely were ( games ) . I don't want to play games that border on abusive. I personally think suggesting break ups when you don't mean it is abuse.
Driving away my dog seemed happier. We went to get a Philly cheesesteak from our fave place to celebrate. I received a text at 5:30 p.m. that the cleaners left " early " . I am 99% sure he must have been annoying and micromanaging them ! Even PAID they couldn't deal with him. Now we don't have to either.
I hope he enjoyed spiffing up that upper level of the home alone since he couldn't be decent to me or the cleaning team.
carmen_b
01-02-2020, 06:37 PM
At this count .... 9 messages from him ( and one was a letter not a text hahah ) .
A game I'd say. He sees now how that works with me. Not into abusive games.
I did leave in a blizzard yesterday so I replied quickly to let him know I made it out ( when he asked this morning ) but no responses beyond that.
24 hours later update :
Not really interested in going back so he can attempt to waste more of my time.
2 days later Update :
I feel that an hour or two of my time a day on his project is " enough " to show my appreciation for the nice place / meals / dates he provided ! As well as unlimited sexual favors hahaha ( I am high libido so that is a given ). If all he is going to do is irritate and harass me about not doing " enough " UNPAID on his project ...... well ....... we just don't have a deal anymore. If he just left me alone during my work hours he could have continued to have a very fun trophy girlfriend arrangement. OR he could have paid me if he preferred me ( v.s. someone else ) working more heavily on his AirBnB stuff. If I was paid, I could cut back my other projects. I was up front 4-5 days ago that my preference we to keep working 40 hours a week at MY job v.s. heavier involvement in the project. At least for now. I handed him SO MANY resources for everything from assistants, to cleaners, to drivers, to higher level pros like electricians / handyman / ect. ! There is no reason ( other than wanting to be difficult and extort my time ) that everything couldn't be handled by the teams I had sourced !
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2020, 06:43 PM
Why does the guy who helped my wash my car have the same name as that last guy I ranted about for weeks?
This is messing with my head
baer45
01-02-2020, 07:58 PM
I discovered this youtube channel while doing my research on traveling in China. This lady is exceptionally talented at everything; Crafting, sewing, cooking, etc. and her videos are filmed beautifully. Some even say that she has 42 million followers worldwide. A strong, independent woman. So inspiring. I love how all the animals follow her around. she's hardworking and grows all her vegetables in her garden. Simple lifestyle, very relaxing. I recommend it if you somehow feel depressed. Her videos are addictive :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYbJnAyYIFY
AChildOfBoredom
01-03-2020, 10:22 AM
Parents flew back home today. I was glad to see them, and even that they came here. It was nice to see them stepping out of their comfort zone, which they did, big time. And they had a chance to see for themselves, yes, we’re living well here.
WendiStarr
01-03-2020, 12:49 PM
Sometime within the past week the baby flipped from head down to frank breech position(head up with her feet up by her head). I need her to flip back to head down because I don't want a c-section. I am absolutely terrified of having a c-section. I heard that getting on all fours with my butt in the air could encourage her to flip back to head down so now I get to be the weirdo in an awkward position.
Elektra Luxx
01-03-2020, 03:43 PM
...I heard that getting on all fours with my butt in the air could encourage her to flip back to head down so now I get to be the weirdo in an awkward position.
I was on all fours with my butt in the air just last night...for umm...other reasons. }:D
JGB2009
01-03-2020, 06:12 PM
My daughter turns 7 tomorrow and I kind went over board buying her gifts today. Her ass hat dad has never been in the picture but that's his loss. Any who tomorrow we will celebrate together and it will be a awesome day for !!!! :)