View Full Version : The Random Thoughts Thread...
AChildOfBoredom
10-06-2020, 08:32 PM
I wish I knew how to crochet stuff. A friend's grandma made me some crochet socks a couple years ago and they are the warmest socks ever. My feet are always cold this time of year but never with these socks on. I wish I had more than just this one pair. Unfortunately her grandma has passed away and I don't know anybody who knows how to crochet. Kind of funny that I'm lying here on the couch in the dark randomly thinking of socks.
It's not terribly difficult to learn, if you have time and you'll do it. You could probably learn how on YouTube, then it's just a matter of building your skill with it to improve your speed, proficiency, ability to do intricate designs, etc. I know how, though my sister is better at it because she's more apt to doing it. Me, a bit less so, and maybe I'm even a little adverse to it, as it was a skill I acquired in being groomed for a lifestyle which I wholeheartedly rejected.
WendiStarr
10-07-2020, 09:00 AM
I want more details. Are they wool or cashmere? I want pics.
My favorite wool socks are falling apart so I get to do a little X Mas shopping for myself and replace them. To me the only fun part of living in a snowy area is getting to wear booties and wool socks indoors. & Hot chocolate. That's about it. lol
I believe they are made out of some kind of yarn. You can laugh about the strawberry shortcake character(lol) if you want to but they are some seriously warm socks! Lol53508
moneybags
10-07-2020, 09:34 AM
I started doing virtual bike rides since my wrist is too messed up to lift.
The coach said: “It’s going to be okay in the end, and if it’s not, it’s not the end yet.”
carmen_b
10-07-2020, 11:41 AM
This has been such a hard week.
Working.
Taking care of starting this new AirBnB.
My renters moved out of a property up north ( my long term rental ) and didn't leave it great.
I feel so overwhelmed and unhappy but I'm trying to slog through and remind myself that this is just *temporary* and I'll eventually get some time back.
100% unhappy but I want to PUSH myself into feeling better.
I want an assistant but I feel like the problem is by the time you get someone set up to assist ...... your rough 2-3 weeks lightens up . I'm trying to get back into therapy because logically I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I don't " see " it quite right currently even with all my tricks of making to do lists and putting little things to look forward to into each day.
Sometimes I feel a sense of embarrassment with my multiple hustles / multiple ways I push for cash because my partner just has a high earning job ( dealing with a rental or 2nd income stream isn't worth his time so he doesn't really understand it ). It makes things kind of hard to explain or get support on. It all works when it WORKS. It's rough when it doesn't .
BambiCutie
10-07-2020, 11:45 AM
I believe they are made out of some kind of yarn. You can laugh about the strawberry shortcake character(lol) if you want to but they are some seriously warm socks! Lol
Aww they are adorable! love the Strawberry Shortcake patch! ^w^
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Random Thought: Losing weight and being on a liquid diet sucks so bad, but feels good at the same time. Ugh! Pain is gain I guess... >.<
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-07-2020, 01:56 PM
I believe they are made out of some kind of yarn. You can laugh about the strawberry shortcake character(lol) if you want to but they are some seriously warm socks! Lol53508
Oh I love it.
I really need to just suck it up and learn knitting/crochet. I was a spaz at doing macrame in middle school so I think my confidence got shook about those sorts of crafts.
Random thought- ugh wish I could just eat steak and drink beer and go to bed early. But not gonna happen tonight.
Sweet_Sadie
10-07-2020, 02:16 PM
I started doing virtual bike rides since my wrist is too messed up to lift.
I looked up virtual bike ride workouts on YT. Plenty there. I'm wondering ... I can't afford a proper bike machine, but there's these bike peddle mini machines that's recommended for the elderly and disabled. You use these sitting on a chair.
Could these work for a virtual riding session, I wonder? Just to peddle along?
lynn2009
10-07-2020, 03:54 PM
I've been thinking bee too! It's super cute and matches my dog's fur pretty well haha.
I decided he's going to be a fire fighter. I also got him some Halloween bandanas so we can be festive leading up to the big day.
carmen_b
10-07-2020, 09:41 PM
I told J I was feeling depressed.
It’s so tempting to hide these things but then that adds an extra layer of work.
I plan to be on track and actively pulling myself out and up !!
His ex was / is a huge handful with her mental health issues ( some real and some exaggerated due to laziness most likely ) .
I don’t want to hide things I’m going through .
I don’t think this is going to be anything bad either !
I just want a counselor to run things by.
WendiStarr
10-08-2020, 01:39 PM
I don't understand men. He was bitching about money, yet he went out and bought a $1k trailer and weed(it's legal in my state). I brought up a paid photo shoot that I want to do to bring in some cash. He's suddenly against it because it would mean he'd have to watch the kids.
JGB2009
10-08-2020, 01:53 PM
I slept only 1 hour last night.
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-08-2020, 04:17 PM
I don't understand men. He was bitching about money, yet he went out and bought a $1k trailer and weed(it's legal in my state). I brought up a paid photo shoot that I want to do to bring in some cash. He's suddenly against it because it would mean he'd have to watch the kids.
He's being a ding dong.
Random thought- chicken soup, w00000t
JGB2009
10-08-2020, 07:55 PM
If you had really wanted to keep me you would have done what it takes to keep me. All I wanted was your time and honesty.
carmen_b
10-09-2020, 10:15 AM
Ah. I feel like I'm pulling my shit together. I think when we experience these mental blocks ( 3-4 days ago feeling like my WHOLE life was a mistake and a mess) it's good to make lists, assemble a plan to get help, ect.
I want to leave all this " I am miserable stuff " behind.
I changed my mind on my embarrassment for mutiple hustles too ! Fuck that noise ! I'm getting it done even it takes three income streams and all three hit a high maintenence point all at once. That doesn't happen EVERY week. It's just an example of a rough week.
My attack plan is to simply say no to any demands on my time that are not already scheduled in the next 3-5 days.
^ If someone has more than 1k to hand over I will look at this again.
If I look at things in a couple weeks and I DO hate everything .... I will change it one by one.
moneybags
10-09-2020, 10:51 AM
Ah. I feel like I'm pulling my shit together. I think when we experience these mental blocks ( like me 2-4 days ago feeling like my WHOLE life was a mistake ) it's good to make lists, assemble a plan to get help, ect.
I want to leave all this " I am miserable stuff " behind.
I changed my mind on my embarrassment for mutiple hustles too ! Fuck that noise ! I'm getting it done even it takes three income streams and all three hit a high maintenence point all at once. That doesn't happen EVERY week. It's just an example of a rough week.
My attack plan is to simply say no to any demands on my time that are not already scheduled in the next 3-5 days.
^ If someone has more than 1k to hand over I will look at this again.
Honestly ..... if I look at things in a couple weeks and I DO hate everything .... I will change it all one by one.
you have a job where as most people don’t have one source of income. Don’t compare and despair. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re not enough. Just say, “I am enough. I have enough. There is enough!” Declare it until you manifest that shit
I joined a goal group, so I need to put all my attentions on my goals. I hope to go back to work next week. I hurt my wrist from “work” how embarrassing to explain that to a doctor.
carmen_b
10-09-2020, 12:57 PM
Thanks !
I'm waiting for a call from this Therapist . I feel like I really need support on this relationship thing.
I don't know if I can take anymore of the limitations ( sleeping alone 5 nights a week every other week ).
My partner treats me so well otherwise that it is hard to wrap my head around having this conversation with him.
Maybe it won't bother me as much next week ? It's so hard to tell. Last week my body / intuition was just screaming at me " I AM DONE ! " but then admittedly I didn't discuss this upset with him.
This week ( when I get him more ) I feel like there is just a black cloud over everything v.s. enjoying our time.
I always think it's terrible when people just bail without a discussion first with their partner. Maybe even being open with him that last week was incredibly difficult would help. It's probably best to have this discussion in a neutral setting ( neither persons home ) .
carmen_b
10-09-2020, 01:26 PM
Then my dad upset me. :/
I quickly ran this by my parents and my dad is like " He was up front with you about that in the beginning . Isn't he trying to stick to the agreement he has with his ex ? " .
I felt like my Dad wasn't listening because I asked J if this was a request from his ex and he said no.
THEN ..... maybe I feel like my dad saw a lie that I didn't see. He is very intuitive and has " seen through " people before.
I will be VERY upset if I circle back to J and he admits that this limitation IS a request of his ex and he lied about it 2-3 weeks ago when I specifically asked.
Maybe I should relax and try to be grateful for what I've got. 15 days of sex / snuggles out of 30 isn't so bad ? Or is it ? I literally couldn't find a dude to just show up and fuck a few times a week and be a decent boyfriend for a YEAR before I met J.
Obviously I need to leave my Dad out . Like ..... this conversations ends here before I akwardly have to explain to my dad that I really want more like 20 days of sex / cuddles out of 30.
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-09-2020, 02:37 PM
Then my dad upset me. :/
I quickly ran this by my parents and my dad is like " He was up front with you about that in the beginning . Isn't he trying to stick to the agreement he has with his ex ? " .
I felt like my Dad wasn't listening because I asked J if this was a request from his ex and he said no.
THEN ..... maybe I feel like my dad saw a lie that I didn't see. He is very intuitive and has " seen through " people before.
I will be VERY upset if I circle back to J and he admits that this limitation IS a request of his ex and he lied about it 2-3 weeks ago when I specifically asked.
Maybe I should relax and try to be grateful for what I've got. 15 days of sex / snuggles out of 30 isn't so bad ? Or is it ? I literally couldn't find a dude to just show up and fuck a few times a week and be a decent boyfriend for a YEAR before I met J.
Obviously I need to leave my Dad out . Like ..... this conversations ends here before I akwardly have to explain to my dad that I really want more like 20 days of sex / cuddles out of 30.
A LOT of ex-wives will use their kids to try to mess with their ex's new girlfriend. My mom even tried this shit but we (the kids) refused to let her poison any more relationships. So be aware. It's natural for people to have weird/unexpected reactions to letting others into the lives of their loved ones, but no one should be out to destroy someone else's happiness out of spite. Hopefully that's not what his ex is working towards. I hope I understood all that correctly.
Good luck, definitely.
Random thought- I want another cigarette. Mmmm
carmen_b
10-09-2020, 05:04 PM
Ok ...... I finally talked to him. :/
WendiStarr
10-09-2020, 05:49 PM
I'm going to henna my hair tomorrow. I hope it comes out good.
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-09-2020, 06:24 PM
I'm going to henna my hair tomorrow. I hope it comes out good.
What brand of henna do you use? I want to order some for after I get my new hairstyle.
AChildOfBoredom
10-10-2020, 09:11 AM
Strange conflicts of the past just don’t seem to want to stay in the past.
WendiStarr
10-10-2020, 10:02 AM
What brand of henna do you use? I want to order some for after I get my new hairstyle.
I use Henna Hut/Harvest Moon.
WendiStarr
10-11-2020, 09:11 AM
I want to make chili today. I'm going to put some unsweetened cocoa in it.
WendiStarr
10-11-2020, 01:11 PM
While out for a walk with the kids, we noticed yard sale signs with what looked like dollar bills stapled all around the sign. There were 4 signs like that. Upon seeing the first sign, my 11 year old said, "Mom, look! Free money!". I took a closer look and noticed that there were razor blades on the back of the sign. Nothing is ever really free and more than likely it was fake money. The other three signs appeared to have one single dollar bill stapled and heavily taped to it. I was almost tempted to drive by the address, just to see what kind of person would create such signs. I live in an upscale neighborhood. My next door neighbor is a doctor and two other neighbors are lawyers. There's a lawyer who works out of a house on the next street. I don't get why someone would put up signs like that, other than to attract attention but why the razor blades?
lilylilylily
10-11-2020, 03:33 PM
I saw my ex last night, I was on my period and had a tampon in, I told him before he got here I was not fucking him, I didnt tell him I was on my period tho. Long story short we were drinking and he went down on me and i farted a couple times in his face. He didnt say anything and kept going..I was mortified.I'm pretty gassy when on my period. Didnt hear from him today. Oh well lollll
carmen_b
10-11-2020, 03:37 PM
We finally talked a couple days ago.
The convo start has me feeling a little better .
I voiced my concerns that this can't be an ongoing plan ( limiting myself to only 15 out of 30 nights sleeping with my partner at 6.5 months ) .
I wanted to get his take.
There WAS something up with the ex but not what you might think !
She is letting the 8 year old sleep WITH HER in bed. J confessed to it and he knows it's horrible training and needs fixing. I'm hoping he will work on setting the stay in your own bed boundary this upcoming week ( even if it's just at his house ) and then we can kind of take things from there.
The mom not enforcing boundaries is jacking us.
I'm not looking to take over their schedule or anything like that either. It would just be nice to know that maybe in a couple of weeks there could be a transition point where I'm invited like 1 night out of the 5 on his kid heavy weeks. I'm not really sure what he will come up with but at least we are talking openly about what has been bothering me.
For dating a dilf there hasn't been much mamma drama.
They are good about co-parenting and he can afford us both which helps tremendously.
miss.a.p1600
10-11-2020, 03:55 PM
I saw my ex last night, I was on my period and had a tampon in, I told him before he got here I was not fucking him, I didnt tell him I was on my period tho. Long story short we were drinking and he went down on me and i farted a couple times in his face. He didnt say anything and kept going..I was mortified.I'm pretty gassy when on my period. Didnt hear from him today. Oh well lollll
LOL!!!
I try to squeeze my anal muscles.
I’d be mortified too.
WendiStarr
10-12-2020, 12:12 PM
It has been overcast outside all day today. I want to go for a walk outside but it keeps looking like it'll rain at any minute. I feel demotivated.
Elektra Luxx
10-13-2020, 02:53 PM
I saw my ex last night, I was on my period and had a tampon in, I told him before he got here I was not fucking him, I didnt tell him I was on my period tho. Long story short we were drinking and he went down on me and i farted a couple times in his face. He didnt say anything and kept going..I was mortified.I'm pretty gassy when on my period. Didnt hear from him today. Oh well lollll
Your story got me thinking, should we start another "FuckFest - paid, recreational" thread to share the latest and greatest sex stories?
lilylilylily
10-13-2020, 03:11 PM
Definitely yes!
carmen_b
10-13-2020, 03:44 PM
Yes !! ^^
carmen_b
10-13-2020, 03:47 PM
It's been so hard to stay positive lately !
I need rain boots to deal with all the shit to wade through lol !
When will it end ? Omg
I just finished my taxes. I got an extension for 2019.
I did what I could and I didn't have a lot of cash to throw at that in April so I pushed it .
THEN I had a viewing for my rental property. They want it but do they even have the deposit to put down for 48 hours to hold it ? I don't even know what to do with them . No moving in until they can actually HAND me the $$$ obviously. How is this ok in someone's mind to go view a property knowing you don't have the money for it for 2-3 days? Contact me WHEN you have it for fucks sake.
Ok that's it for me today. Lol.
AChildOfBoredom
10-14-2020, 03:18 AM
When old friends part ways.
It’s hard to grasp the idea that you consider yourself to be young and vibrant and yet someone the same age as you can die of something you felt so certain was the domain of considerably older people. Just seems to make it worse. Accidents, suicides, and other unnatural causes… not to downplay he tragic nature of those, but something completely of their control comes to take someone who had so much planned for the future and looked forward to living it out.
I’ve had time to process it now. Doesn’t really make a difference.
Maybe it was selfish of me to do this. I went to the burial, but not to the viewing. I just would rather remember people as I knew them, and maybe seeing them cold and lifeless isn’t the final image I should have of them.
moneybags
10-14-2020, 08:19 AM
^^^ sorry for your loss.
I decided to take a break from media until the election.
JGB2009
10-14-2020, 12:12 PM
I think I am being ignored............
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-14-2020, 12:34 PM
When old friends part ways.
It’s hard to grasp the idea that you consider yourself to be young and vibrant and yet someone the same age as you can die of something you felt so certain was the domain of considerably older people. Just seems to make it worse. Accidents, suicides, and other unnatural causes… not to downplay he tragic nature of those, but something completely of their control comes to take someone who had so much planned for the future and looked forward to living it out.
I’ve had time to process it now. Doesn’t really make a difference.
Maybe it was selfish of me to do this. I went to the burial, but not to the viewing. I just would rather remember people as I knew them, and maybe seeing them cold and lifeless isn’t the final image I should have of them.
It's weird you posted this b/c I was just thinking of a guy I went to school with who died (instantly) from a brain aneuyrism. My bff went to his viewing and I was relieved that he looked nice for that. The whole situation was mind-boggling, one of the most vibrant wonderful people I ever met was gone in a split second from something no one could do anything about......
Burial customs all over the world are so weird and (to me) wonderfully diverse. I have a couple friends who work in the mortuary service/funeral biz so to me I find funerals and graveside services to be fascinating. BUT I could see where some loved ones would opt to skip parts of burial ceremonies that don't jibe with their personal views.
AChildOfBoredom
10-14-2020, 12:53 PM
Emotions are running really high and mixed right now. Excitement about seeing this become reality clashing against a backdrop of a friend and former roommate’s passing (from my second set of roommates, not the one I normally mention), compounded with my disappointment at the haunted hayride/haunted house being canceled this year, conflicting with an air of excitement because ‘S’, my sister, the Irish woman, and I all absolutely love handing out candy to the kiddos for Halloween, so we’re still working out what our costumes will be since we do that. Wanted to put Beagle in a costume, but she’s not going for it. And there’s a very conflicting and confusion situation with someone else also, and maybe it’s not so bad, but I can’t shake off my inclinations to believe that yes it is and it’s all kinda overwhelming. And then I saw the transcript from an interview I did over Zoom about the album being released once a lot of the small talk and distractions (such as Beagle jumping in my lap and howling at the strange man on my iPad) were weeded out, and of course I’m going over it time and time again and becoming more critical of myself each time I read it, but others tell me, “Stop worrying, it’s fine, you did good” and I don’t know what the fuck to believe.
I think I need a vacation away from everything for a bit.
It's weird you posted this b/c I was just thinking of a guy I went to school with who died (instantly) from a brain aneuyrism. My bff went to his viewing and I was relieved that he looked nice for that. The whole situation was mind-boggling, one of the most vibrant wonderful people I ever met was gone in a split second from something no one could do anything about......
Burial customs all over the world are so weird and (to me) wonderfully diverse. I have a couple friends who work in the mortuary service/funeral biz so to me I find funerals and graveside services to be fascinating. BUT I could see where some loved ones would opt to skip parts of burial ceremonies that don't jibe with their personal views.
It’s not really personal views. I’ve been to viewing before. Not even 48 hours before she passed, I’d told her about how the pandemic had me thinking about how I’d never been to one and wanted to go, and she started the preliminary stages of planning a water park trip. It’s one thing when it’s someone who’s lived a full life or even who hasn’t but is already resigned to it. Now when you’re planning to grab lunch together that weekend.
SnuffleUffleGrass
10-14-2020, 03:24 PM
It’s not really personal views. I’ve been to viewing before. Not even 48 hours before she passed, I’d told her about how the pandemic had me thinking about how I’d never been to one and wanted to go, and she started the preliminary stages of planning a water park trip. It’s one thing when it’s someone who’s lived a full life or even who hasn’t but is already resigned to it. Now when you’re planning to grab lunch together that weekend.
Sorry to hear about that, that sounds really wrenching.
My Random Thought- so glad I have a pack of natural tobacco cigarettes. The stress of this year has got me hobby smoking again. :-\
JGB2009
10-15-2020, 08:42 AM
You tell me you're battling depression. I am thankful for our talk yesterday but I still don't know how to fix everything between me and you. I am so clueless right now. Maybe I will just take a step back.
moneybags
10-15-2020, 08:47 AM
53524
No one will ever let you forget you were a stripper, but why would you want to
carmen_b
10-15-2020, 08:58 AM
^ Omg !!
I am finding myself so in Love with this !!
AChildOfBoredom
10-15-2020, 12:31 PM
Disappointed we won’t be doing the haunted hayride/haunted house at the equestrian center this year. But of course I support the decision. We’re still giving out candy and dressing up for it.
And the photographer who did my shoots wants to meet with the Amish girl. The girl I did the shoot with showed him some of the photos she took of our beach trip and he wants to try talking her into doing a shoot, especially since he does a lot of seasonally themed shoots and says she’d be idea for an Autumn themed shoot (he says I’m ideal for Winter themed shoots… we’ll see, since I haven’t agreed to anything). I told him I can introduce him, but he’s on his own to talk her into it. Which, good luck. She may have left the community, but it’s still the basis of what her core values are and still a significant driving force in her life.
lynn2009
10-15-2020, 11:22 PM
There's a couple more houses that I like but I'm going to see if they stay on the market at least a week or so. I can't deal with any more crazy competition. I'm hoping it will be easier now that we are well into fall.
carmen_b
10-16-2020, 08:44 AM
^ Don’t let it psych you out.
If you find one you love put a strong offer in and just see what happens.
:)
carmen_b
10-17-2020, 12:23 PM
Things are calming down.
I had such a hard early Oct.
My family is here and it's nice to have company. I don't feel like I'm being pulled in half with demands from business stuff. It's just a comfy slow pace. Maybe I'll regret the lack of funds later but I just don't care right now. Give me my TIME and ENERGY right now.
:)
I basically told everyone who didn't have the money ready on the property up north to fuck off. I will assume I won't hear from anyone I talked to last week. I'll start that project again in 2-3 days. I need a get a photographer over there. It has actually occurred to me lately that the long term rental plan is one approach but a better one may be another AirBnB. I could sell that one I've owned for 13 years up North and buy here in the desert where there is tourist traffic. I am going to think about this a lot more in the upcoming week or two.
AChildOfBoredom
10-17-2020, 08:59 PM
S and her girlfriend had an argument tonight. S has started vaping. Typically, if I didn’t absolutely take S’s side, I’d at least be in her corner as much as I could be. Like I’ve said before, she’s pretty much another sister to us. But on this? No. So I said to her, “Look, you’re an adult now and you’re responsible for your life choices. I’m not going to take that away from you or diminish it. But if I ever actually see it, expect to get smacked”.
JGB2009
10-17-2020, 09:12 PM
I don't want arguments or misunderstandings. Can't we just finally get it right.
lilylilylily
10-17-2020, 09:55 PM
I'm glad I listened to my gut and didnt see my ex tonight. I know nothing is going to change and we are not right for each other. There is no point of even being friends
AChildOfBoredom
10-18-2020, 12:31 PM
Trying to have a meeting over Zoom because we’re being interviewed about the album we have coming out, and Beagle hears strange voices, so she jumps on my lap and howls incessantly at my iPad. I finally had to get my sister to take her out for a walk, because she kept howling outside the door when I took her out of the room.
This is becoming a thing with her, and it’s kinda irritating.
Also, I gave S’s girlfriend a key to the house. She pretty much lives here at this point, anyhow. Although she refused to stay last night after the argument over S vaping, to which I say good. I hope she demands S gets rid of all that shit.