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lurkingtitties
01-10-2021, 08:01 AM
I was eating in a deficit for the last couple months and quite proud of my progress, but my body was starting to get mad at me for not feeding it enough. The last 2 weeks I was meal prepping at my deficit calories and then eating a bunch of off-plan bullshit throughout the week. So I’ve decided to transition to maintenance and start lifting heavy. I specifically want to grow a bigger butt. I bought a copy of Strong Curves by Bret Contreras.

My plan had been to get lean, like 22% body fat, and then do a long slow bulk. Maintenance is cool too I guess-I’ve made significant strength gains at maintenance before. Recomp happens more slowly at maintenance though and I was wanting to grow muscle more aggressively. I suppose it will be good for me mentally to practice staying at maintenance for a long period of time though. I have a long history of poor eating habits and cutting weight was starting to feed into a binge/restrict cycle.

JGB2009
01-10-2021, 02:33 PM
Last night I finally made it to the correct movie theater to see Fatale. The first 20 minutes was boring to me. I almost walked out but then the movie spiced up. It was worth seeing.

Genoveve
01-10-2021, 03:22 PM
Speaking of movies I was reminded of the remake of a Star is Born this morning, I went and saw it with my friend in the theatre when it first came out and we both hated it. The film didn't make me care about or even like any of the characters and when Bradley Cooper killed himself I felt zero emotion. I also hated the soundtrack. My friend and I felt like crazy people because everyone everywhere kept raving about how amazing the film and soundtrack was. :shrug:

Aurora_Sunset
01-10-2021, 04:47 PM
No, it hurts. Did nothing to deserve it. I'm really tired of trying anymore. I'm giving up on this and men in general. All guys do is bring drama into my life. I'm better off just building my own life independently.

Now I come to find out that his phone has been disconnected. Wtf?

I reached out to his best friend. Crickets.

This is fucking bizarre.

Wow, so he is so cowardly about breaking up with someone that his only plan is to change his entire phone number and tell his friends not to answer you to let you know he is okay??? Holy shit. Yeah, it sucks ass, but sounds like you dodged an emotional bullet.

Or - and I'm just throwing this out there - maybe something truly bizarre happened, like he got arrested for some shit. I only say that, because one of my best friends and coworkers just dropped off the face of the planet for a week at one point with everyone freaking the fuck out about it. Turns out it was because the feds showed up at his door and arrested him (for some shit he didn't do, but that's a whole other story). Probably not common lol But sometimes the truth is something you just never even thought of as a possibility.

Either way, I hope you at least find out what happened to him one day, and call him out on the fuckwad he is if this is just his way of breaking up with you. I assume he's close to your age, which makes his immature behavior so beyond ok or normal. Never let some guy use the whole "I'm fucked up because of my exes" bullshit on you. We all have shitty exes. Guys like that, the second they find some trainwreck girl, they're all over her even though they're scared to commit to anyone stable. Guys always say girls are crazy like that, but they do that crap equally.

carmen_b
01-10-2021, 05:31 PM
^ Also thought the suicide scene was lame. It was overall " eh " . I'd pay $10 to see him in a cowboy hat so I went.


Speaking of movies I was reminded of the remake of a Star is Born this morning, I went and saw it with my friend in the theatre when it first came out and we both hated it. The film didn't make me care about or even like any of the characters and when Bradley Cooper killed himself I felt zero emotion. I also hated the soundtrack. My friend and I felt like crazy people because everyone everywhere kept raving about how amazing the film and soundtrack was. :shrug:

carmen_b
01-10-2021, 05:33 PM
^ OH good thought. Yes, once I had a friend also vanish that way . I was worried and cyber stalked other people he knew and messaged. He was in jail ( for doing something stupid ).

I hope that isn't the case but it is something to consider ! Have you contacted his family ?

It seems like you are letting it go ok but UGH.

LoveyDovey
01-10-2021, 09:48 PM
Wow, so he is so cowardly about breaking up with someone that his only plan is to change his entire phone number and tell his friends not to answer you to let you know he is okay??? Holy shit. Yeah, it sucks ass, but sounds like you dodged an emotional bullet.

Or - and I'm just throwing this out there - maybe something truly bizarre happened, like he got arrested for some shit. I only say that, because one of my best friends and coworkers just dropped off the face of the planet for a week at one point with everyone freaking the fuck out about it. Turns out it was because the feds showed up at his door and arrested him (for some shit he didn't do, but that's a whole other story). Probably not common lol But sometimes the truth is something you just never even thought of as a possibility.

Either way, I hope you at least find out what happened to him one day, and call him out on the fuckwad he is if this is just his way of breaking up with you. I assume he's close to your age, which makes his immature behavior so beyond ok or normal. Never let some guy use the whole "I'm fucked up because of my exes" bullshit on you. We all have shitty exes. Guys like that, the second they find some trainwreck girl, they're all over her even though they're scared to commit to anyone stable. Guys always say girls are crazy like that, but they do that crap equally.

His friend finally responded and told me he hasn't heard from him either.

I actually checked the court website, and he hasn't been arrested. At least no record of anything recent.

The only way he'll be let off the hook at this point is if I found out he had some sort of covid-19 Relapse and wound up back in the hospital and couldn't pay his phone bill because he was on a ventilator or something. That I can understand.

AChildOfBoredom
01-11-2021, 03:19 AM
Last Friday, I had a tow from an accident scene. One of the cops on-site asked me for a phone number, ostensibly for follow up on the accident investigation. So I gave him the number to my company issue phone. I had to turn it on this morning so I could approve my time card, and there was a voicemail on it from him, asking if I’d be available to go out sometime.

SnuffleUffleGrass
01-11-2021, 05:57 AM
Last Friday, I had a tow from an accident scene. One of the cops on-site asked me for a phone number, ostensibly for follow up on the accident investigation. So I gave him the number to my company issue phone. I had to turn it on this morning so I could approve my time card, and there was a voicemail on it from him, asking if I’d be available to go out sometime.

How interesting.

Random thought- need to call doctor....

JGB2009
01-11-2021, 08:40 AM
I wanna go to a hookah lounge this weekend. I hope I can find someone who can go with me.

carmen_b
01-11-2021, 10:03 AM
OH .... that sounds so luxurious ! I assume there is food there too ? Sounds so fun !

AChildOfBoredom
01-11-2021, 10:48 AM
How interesting.

Random thought- need to call doctor....

I don’t know about interesting. Surprising, unexpected, yes. But mountains will crumble into the sea before I’d ever date anyone in law enforcement.

JGB2009
01-11-2021, 04:47 PM
OH .... that sounds so luxurious ! I assume there is food there too ? Sounds so fun !

I haven't been to this one yet but I don't think they have food.

lynn2009
01-11-2021, 05:37 PM
I heard there is controversy over Kamala Harris' casual photo on Vogue and I need to know if there is any end to the asinine shit people piss and moan over?

moneybags
01-11-2021, 09:22 PM
I heard there is controversy over Kamala Harris' casual photo on Vogue and I need to know if there is any end to the asinine shit people piss and moan over?

Yay! I would much rather our elected leaders have fashion scandals. It’s just everyday sexism to focus on what she is wearing. If someone took a picture of Joe Biden in his casual clothes no one would care. What the Vice President is wearing isn’t newsworthy.

Genoveve
01-11-2021, 09:32 PM
^^^My understanding of the scandal is that Kamala and/or her team are upset because Vogue didn't go with the cover photo that they agreed upon.

lynn2009
01-11-2021, 09:42 PM
Yay! I would much rather our elected leaders have fashion scandals. It’s just everyday sexism to focus on what she is wearing. If someone took a picture of Joe Biden in his casual clothes no one would care. What the Vice President is wearing isn’t newsworthy.

That's fair but it's the left wing Twitter mob saying she doesn't look professional or vice-presidential enough, not conservatives looking for anything to dig at.

moneybags
01-11-2021, 10:14 PM
That's fair but it's the left wing Twitter mob saying she doesn't look professional or vice-presidential enough, not conservatives looking for anything to dig at.

I’m agreeing with you. Why does anyone care? I looked after you posted expecting to see something like her posing in a lewd way. She looks fine. It was an attempt to make her look down to earth. It’s not something worth paying attention to. I don’t pay attention to negativity-that’s what those people on Twitter want.

indiegirl
01-11-2021, 10:24 PM
Why do youtubers always have to shout in their videos? Geeeeeez. It's the only place I have to turn the volume close to the bottom. I get they're trying to appear exciting/entertaining....if I ever walked around like that at the club I would be homeless. LOLL

JGB2009
01-12-2021, 11:27 AM
Days like today I love getting dressed, doing my make up, hair, and getting on cam. I love looking nice and today I love my job.

carmen_b
01-12-2021, 11:54 AM
^ Right on!!

indiegirl
01-12-2021, 11:57 AM
Ahhhhhh this shower is what I needed. I take short showers (miss having a tub doing a detoxifying bath salt from whole foods along with bentonite clay bath soaking and watching documentaries but that's ok). I felt so good after those baths!

carmen_b
01-12-2021, 12:42 PM
I think I’ve got a trade in motion ( my desert Airbnb ) for this ski town one!!

A surprise for J !!

This chick is going to make out. I want a few days starting tomorrow ( days unlikely to sell anyway since not sold yet ).
I’m giving her any days she wants. Ha.
This is not my finest negotiation I have ever done BUT I want the deal done!
This would get us a little cabin v.s. a boring hotel room .

WendiStarr
01-12-2021, 02:00 PM
I miss the remote cabin in the smokies. It was cold there but it's 20 degrees colder here and there was a hot tub there.

carmen_b
01-12-2021, 04:41 PM
I am feeling so demoralized with Real Estate school.
I told myself not to look at the " ticker " of completion but to give myself 2-3 hours each day to just get through it.

Well I looked today . I'm about half way. There is a state portion that I've already given about 80 hours to and I have 20 more . Then there is a national part that will take about 80 hours ( I asked today about the total numbers of hours I'm looking at ! ).

One thing that drives me crazy is that an HOUR of your time doesn't make the ticker move even 1% . In this state ) it takes about 175-180 timed online hours on computer.
I wish they would restructure this ticker .
I will probably mention it when graduating.
You can pick away at an hour and it wont even move.
It should be rebuilt as " xyz hours to go ! ".

I'll be glad to have it and be able to sell but RIGHT NOW it just takes 2-3 hours out of my work day ( also in sales so lost hours mean lost $ ). Eventually I hope to balance this all out and be getting a higher hourly rate for my time than I currently get. Also there is the issue that work is STILL horrifically slow.

I'm getting this damn thing done but I am wondering if I need to try to get on Unemployment again.

I send you all thoughts and vibes of $$$$$ FLOWING into your accounts.
Please send great money vibes my way.
Positive vibrations !!!

carmen_b
01-12-2021, 04:48 PM
^ I have also started having an obsessive eye to signs haha.
I would be getting about 2% on a transaction sales price and my broker gets 1%.
I drive around jealous of these damn signs and calculating commission checks in my mind.

indiegirl
01-12-2021, 05:22 PM
Sometimes I think how fun it would be to just pack up and move to a secluded cheap place with lots of rain and snow but I know after 2 weeks I'd be like "okie doke I'm ready to go back to California." LOL

carmen_b
01-12-2021, 05:28 PM
^ I think you get a value for good weather. I live in a place now too cold in winter and too hot in summer.
Spring and Fall are nice ! haha

I sometimes think about Hawaii and moving back not caring about paying double for everything.

indiegirl
01-13-2021, 04:45 AM
^ I think you get a value for good weather. I live in a place now too cold in winter and too hot in summer.
Spring and Fall are nice ! haha

I sometimes think about Hawaii and moving back not caring about paying double for everything.

Hawaii would be awesome but I found it oddly difficult to find business there.

indiegirl
01-13-2021, 07:14 AM
Think it's nice my dad sent me his xmas card to me and gift as well as a copy of him on the cover of a top 10 lawyer magazine. We are still repairing our relationship even though it's hard and very distant (typical narcissist I never sent cover photos of me modeling to the family but this is what I have as family). (everyone in the family is very distant to him or doesn't talk to him anymore. What a sign.) Family is so hard when it's not a simple one. I feel like I'm on better terms with him than my mom right now which says a lot. LOL. Not everyone is the healthiest parent. I don't want to be all alone though and trying to accept what I have as family. (It's SO not easy. Takes two people to change not one....and sometimes they did enough damage to not wanna be involved)

carmen_b
01-13-2021, 08:22 AM
It’s the competition from international girls. They come from cheaper countries work a few months and send or take back what they can. White girls ( just being totally honest here ) will get best rates across the board but it can feel “ meh “ to experienced sex workers coming from bigger cities. The review scene is also quite detailed / gross. Can be good temporarily I suppose.

The guys on the boards bitch that “ no one speaks English “ but then they don’t pay standard mainland rates .

( from my brief experience in massage scene there ).


Hawaii would be awesome but I found it oddly difficult to find business there.

indiegirl
01-13-2021, 08:36 AM
It’s the competition from international girls. They come from cheaper countries work a few months and send or take back what they can. White girls ( just being totally honest here ) will get best rates across the board but it can feel “ meh “ to experienced sex workers coming from bigger cities. The review scene is also quite detailed / gross. Can be good temporarily I suppose.

The guys on the boards bitch that “ no one speaks English “ but then they don’t pay standard mainland rates .

( from my brief experience in massage scene there ).

I struggled where to even advertise as well. So few.

carmen_b
01-13-2021, 08:54 AM
I just used BP and CL back in the day.
I’d have no idea now either !

At times I actually did really well ( working in the main tourist cluster all hotels are within a few miles ).

Likethis
01-13-2021, 10:47 AM
It's strange but it's like I can't seem to make the same connection with female friends that those female friends can make with other women, I thought about this today. It's confusing. Like I'll get a female friend, we hang out, it's nice and everything. Then some day I see them with another one of their friends and... it's really hard to explain this but it's as if they have a connection with each other on another level, a deeper level maybe, than I have with the exact same person. Happened to me several times, but I really don't understand why. What am I doing different, why can't that be me? I can't really ask people this. Maybe it's just as simple as chemistry and about who you meet, kind of like in romantic love or sex, but then what are the odds that I never meet someone like that? After a while I started to think it must be me. This has made me nervous about female friends actually, I feel like there is something about the whole interaction that's happening on a level I don't understand, like I'm missing something obvious that's happening but I have absolutely no idea what that is.

Maybe it's social anxiety, maybe I just need therapy or something.

carmen_b
01-13-2021, 10:51 AM
I think it’s ok for women to have just “ light “ friends .

Maybe I say that because this is me !!! ^^^^

I think at some primal level women don’t trust each other. So it’s nice to find friends in same situations. Like ... if you are married trustworthy married friends ect.!

It’s hard to learn to trust ! It’s also slow!

LoveyDovey
01-13-2021, 03:38 PM
It's strange but it's like I can't seem to make the same connection with female friends that those female friends can make with other women, I thought about this today. It's confusing. Like I'll get a female friend, we hang out, it's nice and everything. Then some day I see them with another one of their friends and... it's really hard to explain this but it's as if they have a connection with each other on another level, a deeper level maybe, than I have with the exact same person. Happened to me several times, but I really don't understand why. What am I doing different, why can't that be me? I can't really ask people this. Maybe it's just as simple as chemistry and about who you meet, kind of like in romantic love or sex, but then what are the odds that I never meet someone like that? After a while I started to think it must be me. This has made me nervous about female friends actually, I feel like there is something about the whole interaction that's happening on a level I don't understand, like I'm missing something obvious that's happening but I have absolutely no idea what that is.

Maybe it's social anxiety, maybe I just need therapy or something.

I'm right there with you. What's even worse is that every female friend I thought is my friend turns out to be a jealous bitch. Has a lot to do with my mom hating me bc my father raped me. Same shit playing out over and over. I've become a loner.

LoveyDovey
01-13-2021, 04:41 PM
So I finally heard from (ex) boyfriend. His friend told him I was looking for him because I wanted to make sure he was okay. I guess he got a new phone and texted me this morning apologizing because he was "going through a hard time." I'm tired of this excuse.. I've heard this too manybtimes and I think he just isn't ready. I replied with a stink eye emoji as well as crying emojis. He apologized again. I haven't replied.
You know what? We're all going through a hard time. This is the third time he changed his phone number in a year aand it's sketchy I'm just tired of the whole thing. I'm too old for this BS. At this point I think, when I look back, all the men I dated did nothing but put me through nonsense and drama. I don't want to be "put through " anything anymore. Where the hell are the decent men who are actually fun and not interested in creating more problems and drama in my life? I'm beginning to think I'm going to be better off on my own. He's been "going through a hard time" for the past two years and I'm so over it. If life is so hard, fix your shit. I'm over it. Done wasting my time.

carmen_b
01-13-2021, 05:37 PM
So you ignore people who care and would try to help?

If this is even true that was lame.

LoveyDovey
01-13-2021, 06:58 PM
So you ignore people who care and would try to help?

If this is even true that was lame.

Exactly. And I've had it with this broken phone excuse. When my phone is broken I get it fixed the very next day I don't wait a month .
Like I said, if he had been in the hospital on a ventilator due to a covid relapse then I would totally get it. But this " I'm going through a hard time" bullshit? Come on.
Now he's texting again saying that he hopes that I'm okay and safe.
Yeah dude, I'm totally fine and okay, but I'm going through a hard time and can't answer your text. Sorry!

I'll move over to the dating thread so that I don't clutter this thread with this nonsense. Sorry about that.

AChildOfBoredom
01-13-2021, 10:57 PM
I think about the people from my unit who died in Afghanistan and I gotta wonder how they’d feel if they could look at things now and think to themselves, “So this is what I fought for, and this is what I died for”. Or perhaps how my ex-“father in law” would feel looking on the events of the last year.

WendiStarr
01-14-2021, 08:18 AM
I will never again date anyone that needs weed in order to function and be a good person. I have no problem if someone smokes it to relax/calm their anxiety, but someone who goes from sweet, caring, and loving when high to yelling and verbally abusive whenever they run out of weed, never again! I don't do well with people who are angry and yelling at me. It's triggering to me because of my biological dad and other shitty abusive men I've dated. I'm at the point where I'd gladly accept a gentle, docile man if such a unicorn of a man even exists.

indiegirl
01-14-2021, 09:12 AM
I will never again date anyone that needs weed in order to function and be a good person. I have no problem if someone smokes it to relax/calm their anxiety, but someone who goes from sweet, caring, and loving when high to yelling and verbally abusive whenever they run out of weed, never again! I don't do well with people who are angry and yelling at me. It's triggering to me because of my biological dad and other shitty abusive men I've dated. I'm at the point where I'd gladly accept a gentle, docile man if such a unicorn of a man even exists.


One guy at a club was so flat out rude to me and the group of dancers insulting us to the point his buddy had to apologize for him on substances. I left even though he wanted to spend money on me only. Other women were saying "well he had a stack of money to spend. You shoulda stayed" ........why tolerate abuse like that for cash. Dunno any other industry where that's acceptable to tolerate.

carmen_b
01-14-2021, 10:57 AM
Right ? Who needs " excitement " . Give me the mellow guy EVERY time !

My partner now is super mellow. He does like his weed but we will like 30 min. from a great store for it.


I will never again date anyone that needs weed in order to function and be a good person. I have no problem if someone smokes it to relax/calm their anxiety, but someone who goes from sweet, caring, and loving when high to yelling and verbally abusive whenever they run out of weed, never again! I don't do well with people who are angry and yelling at me. It's triggering to me because of my biological dad and other shitty abusive men I've dated. I'm at the point where I'd gladly accept a gentle, docile man if such a unicorn of a man even exists.

carmen_b
01-14-2021, 10:59 AM
You made the call that was right for YOU. I have definitely tolerated gross or somewhat abusive guys when I really needed money and it's hard when you SEE the cash is ready. You probably made a good choice because otherwise you might have introduced a fight with him in private room actually trying to GET him to pay or being grabby ect. !
One guy at a club was so flat out rude to me and the group of dancers insulting us to the point his buddy had to apologize for him on substances. I left even though he wanted to spend money on me only. Other women were saying "well he had a stack of money to spend. You shoulda stayed" ........why tolerate abuse like that for cash. Dunno any other industry where that's acceptable to tolerate.

carmen_b
01-14-2021, 11:02 AM
Lovely : Partnerships should include being THERE for that person. All it takes is a quick text to say " hey I need 4-5 days " v.s. leaving someone wondering. I do hope you post in dating because I'm curious what his problem is ( if you even feel it's worth discussing ).

indiegirl
01-14-2021, 11:25 AM
You made the call that was right for YOU. I have definitely tolerated gross or somewhat abusive guys when I really needed money and it's hard when you SEE the cash is ready. You probably made a good choice because otherwise you might have introduced a fight with him in private room actually trying to GET him to pay or being grabby ect. !

When someone breaks you down then wants to hang with you....it's no longer fun. Sure I'd like the money but when someone ridicules you to your face when I'm being nice.... I was drinking (not the best time to be mean to me) and almost smacked the shit out of his face (I'm a bad drinker and was on the no drink list) but didn't want to be fired so I walked away. Calling the other dancers names and he hit my trigger because I was bullied in middle school being called that name he labeled me. I was done. LOL

carmen_b
01-14-2021, 12:40 PM
^ Exactly. Abusive behavior is not ok in ANY situation.

I hope you got him removed. I still remember a guy like this from like a YEAR ago. My club had our backs though! I told them he was being abusive and another dancer backed it up . Before we knew it he was being escorted out. Very nice !

indiegirl
01-15-2021, 12:33 AM
I profusely apologized to a customer thinking I overslept for our Friday morning appointment and it was 11:30am after my nap. Bitchhh wake up it’s Thursday night here! I almost called downstairs to extend my stay. Geeeez I need coffee hahahahaha

JGB2009
01-15-2021, 04:34 AM
I wish the girl who used to stalk me would move far away. She once moved 5 hours away but moved her sorry ass back. I am always afraid I will run into her ugh!!!!

LoveyDovey
01-15-2021, 10:26 AM
Lovely : Partnerships should include being THERE for that person. All it takes is a quick text to say " hey I need 4-5 days " v.s. leaving someone wondering. I do hope you post in dating because I'm curious what his problem is ( if you even feel it's worth discussing ).

His problem is that he has no respect or consideration for my feelings. Right before New Year's, we texted and he promised he would call the next day to make plans for the New Year. New Year's came and went with no word from him. I texted him happy New Year, no response. Last week I texted his friend because I was worried about him. Eventually his friend tracked him down and told him I was looking for him because I was worried. Then the Jack hole texted me to apologize for not getting a hold of me about New Year's but he was having problems and he got a new phone and he didn't have anyone's number. So seeing that it was his friend who tracked him down and not the other way around tells me that he has no respect or consideration for my feelings. He just left me hanging. He didn't make any effort to find his friend who he knows has my number and say something like "oh hey can you please text lovey dovey or give me her number because I don't have it and I don't want to leave her hanging". He made no effort to do that. It was his friend who tracked *him* down. So if his friend didn't track him down to tell him I was worried, when or how was he planning to make the effort to get a hold of me? Did he drive to his friends house to get my number or to have his friend text me and leave a message? No. He made no effort. He just left me hanging. If his friend didn't track him down, I'd still be wondering what's going on. This is bullshit! If you can't bother to have any respect or consideration for me or my feelings, then you don't deserve me or the pussy. End of story.

I feel like a weight is being lifted from my shoulders. It'll be nice to be single and have no BS or drama.