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carmen_b
03-30-2021, 08:59 PM
I'm listening to " Twerk " radio on Pandora.
I want to motivate myself to at least visit a club and talk to a manager lol.

I had myself 90% convinced I couldn't stay up long enough to make club work worth it but I could try and scoot bedtime back 30 min. then in a few days another 30 haha.
The music helps right ?!? I do feel more energized with this on.
I'm going to attempt to try some midnight bedtimes soon figuring that with caffeine I could at least make it until 12:30 in a club lol

I thought I had this damn bag fully assembled and I'm still missing self tanner and a lock . :(

carmen_b
03-30-2021, 09:05 PM
I also feel so pulled . I feel guilty for not visiting family up North Easter weekend.

indiegirl
03-30-2021, 09:41 PM
Some woman is nonstop coughing in her room next door. I'm paranoid enough of covid to want hotel staff to put a concrete slab in front of her door at this point.

charlie61
03-30-2021, 10:26 PM
I'm listening to " Twerk " radio on Pandora.
I want to motivate myself to at least visit a club and talk to a manager lol.

I had myself 90% convinced I couldn't stay up long enough to make club work worth it but I could try and scoot bedtime back 30 min. then in a few days another 30 haha.
The music helps right ?!? I do feel more energized with this on.
I'm going to attempt to try some midnight bedtimes soon figuring that with caffeine I could at least make it until 12:30 in a club lol

I thought I had this damn bag fully assembled and I'm still missing self tanner and a lock . :(

Oh yeah, you won't have any problems staying awake unless the club is dead, IME. And adrenaline will keep you going for sure.

indiegirl
03-30-2021, 10:32 PM
Nurse customer is heading this way. I hope this weed doesn't make me loopy. Tough fooling a healthcare provider if I'm high or not so I may change the time of this appointment LOL. I took more of the edible accidentally. I'm trying to gain energy because I'm tired from being up so early this morning.Water and coffee did not help.

kimbe
03-30-2021, 11:58 PM
I'm listening to " Twerk " radio on Pandora.
I want to motivate myself to at least visit a club and talk to a manager lol.

I had myself 90% convinced I couldn't stay up long enough to make club work worth it but I could try and scoot bedtime back 30 min. then in a few days another 30 haha.
The music helps right ?!? I do feel more energized with this on.
I'm going to attempt to try some midnight bedtimes soon figuring that with caffeine I could at least make it until 12:30 in a club lol

I thought I had this damn bag fully assembled and I'm still missing self tanner and a lock . :(

Don't you think the club vibe will prevent you from getting tired and forget the time? If you don't, I doubt you're having a good time, often got so carried away that the clock just went too fast :D

indiegirl
03-31-2021, 12:09 AM
LMAO.....I'm still at this hotel when I shoulda checked out for day use at 6pm LOL. Security asked me twice for my guests name. I said Kevin LOLLLLL. That's not his name

AChildOfBoredom
03-31-2021, 03:17 AM
I did a little reflecting and realized… overall, I’m relatively happy. Some of the reasons why are a little unexpected, but even others have pointed out changes in my demeanor and, I don’t know. It feels strange.

JGB2009
03-31-2021, 07:23 AM
Someone early this morning kept calling me listening to me say hello. Something tells me it is someone I know. Either way I went and blocked them. Problem solved, no more weird calls.

LoveyDovey
03-31-2021, 08:09 AM
The folks I'm renting a room from is having a small B-day party for one of their 6 year old family members this week and they casually invited me to join them. I don't know the six year old and I really do not want to join the party due to covid as I don't want to sit around for two hours and talk with people I don't know during a pandemic. I hate being invited to things. I feel under pressure. Thinking of leaving some balloons for the girl and just let them know I can't join in due to work, then leave the house for a few hours, as it would be strange if they threw a party and I stayed in my room. What would be appropriate? I would just feel weird at this party and um, yeah, covid....

carmen_b
03-31-2021, 08:50 AM
^ leave and go walk or have coffee or whatever ! :)

I’m OVER social commitments that I don’t want though lol I might not be the best person to ask. I’d only stay if I was single and hoping new contacts might lead to dick.
Full honesty haha.

LoveyDovey
03-31-2021, 09:26 AM
^^ Lol well I have a guy so that rules that out! I'm thinking of just going out and making myself scarce that day, but I would like to leave something for the little girl. She doesn't even know I exist so it's not going to be some major slight if I don't show up for her party. I may just go out all day, go for a run and run errands and come home with balloons shortly before the party's over. I'm just not into going into a gathering where I don't know anybody and it's covid and I've only had one shot. I don't want to be rude though. Social engagements stress me out. Especially right now.

carmen_b
03-31-2021, 09:31 AM
^ It’s a nice gesture but I don’t even think that’s needed.

JGB2009
03-31-2021, 10:36 AM
After I cam and pick up my kids from school I am so tired. These next two months are gonna be so long!!!!!!

indiegirl
03-31-2021, 12:48 PM
New Dr. Phil: Man Claims God Wants Every Woman to Marry Him. I clicked the crap out of the link hahahaha. Comedy Gold!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXt1RkbnPAU

AChildOfBoredom
03-31-2021, 03:58 PM
I kinda went off on a vendor today. One of them comes by and they always hand out little bags of candies to everyone. As I generally don’t like sweets, I always decline them. Well, new(er) guy today offered them to me, I declined, and he insisted, and there was a back and forth between us where he’d keep offering them and I kept declining until the point where I got frustrated and yelled at him, “I SAID I DON’T FUCKING WANT IT. GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD ALREADY”. So he left feeling kinda sheepish and I heard our lead tech talking to him a few minutes later saying, “Bro, she doesn’t like candy and her patience has limits”.

carmen_b
03-31-2021, 04:21 PM
I’ve been thinking about the Hawaii ex ( 2011-2018 ).
I haven’t digitally stalked in a year and just couldn’t help it.

Now on people finder he has moved out of the place he was in when married it appears and her name is back to old name.

That’s just a quick google and perhaps an indication of him single now. It doesn’t matter much but curiousity got me.
It would be admittedly satisfying to know him chatting with that ex and breaking off our 7 year thing ( it has bumps final year 2017-2018 ) may have not been the *best* idea.

A quick google is all I want to do.
He’s blocked everywhere ( FB , IG ) and I don’t want to undo it.
I don’t want to get in an Internet hole. :/
It started via Linked In, he was on there I hadn’t opened it in forever.

indiegirl
03-31-2021, 05:32 PM
LOL! There must be a back channel review out there on me because this is the 3rd edible weed gift I was given on this new site from a new customer hahahaha. Takes me a long time to go through edibles so I'm stocked for the year.

Genoveve
03-31-2021, 09:45 PM
If you want to feel good about your appearance at all, do not put a 200 watt bulb in your overhead bathroom light.

WendiStarr
04-01-2021, 05:54 AM
^^ The slobbyists will tell others if you have any vices or even if they suspect that you do. They'll show up with weed, pills, alcohol, a pack of cigarettes, or whatever. The power of word of mouth is hilarious sometimes. When I was pregnant doing fbsm, I made one pushover guy go get me food. He must've told others because then even new guys started showing up with food or restaurant gift cards. Use it to your advantage! Lol

carmen_b
04-01-2021, 08:30 AM
Restaurant gift cards ? Lucky ! :)

carmen_b
04-01-2021, 08:31 AM
I can do all this right ? haha
Refinance house 1 to get started on getting house 2 ?
Also make some club money.
Also not let day job fall into a state of total disrepair.
This is taking some time management skills for sure !

indiegirl
04-01-2021, 08:43 AM
I kinda laughed inside when I posted I was taking a break from the cheap site (you never know what could happen so I'm not burning a bridge) and got a message from a man who said if I was looking for someone gentle to see he would be available. I'm not looking for someone gentle. Point blank I'm not a newbie and don't need extra care. I'm looking for respect and adhering to my boundaries. I don't want to be threatened, begged DURING the appointment for BBFS, haggling a cheap price, talking crap about me behind my back online, or stealthing me anymore. I want a nice future and I'm certain these men have done this to many other ladies. Don't think that is so much to ask for. Some woman has like 5-6 kids from customers on here LOL and someone shamed her for the very act they want. They might as well have spit on my face when they left after I went above and beyond to make them happy with weird butt play.

I've had some random trip requests lately on the new site...I dunno I'm trying to be ok with leaving the area again. I've talked to so many drivers who have had coronavirus. I get things are opening up...I just don't want it. Not everyone is vaccinated nor do I want to be.

carmen_b
04-01-2021, 09:53 AM
This refinance seems so odd. Like ..... it might take 30 days to finalize until I can start making offers on property #2 ?

Seems SO odd to me in the day and age. I expected a time frame of about 7-14 days honestly once I made this decision to move forward.

Oh well , maybe it's a good thing because I'll feel less frazzled probably knowing I can't really look for another few weeks so once less thing on the plate for right now. :/

yaya_cash
04-01-2021, 04:31 PM
I've been getting some therapy, and I will be reading some books so I can heal my hurt, stress/trauma. I'm excited about resolving issues and dropping off some baggage.

moneybags
04-01-2021, 06:44 PM
^^^ive been thinking of starting a 16 step program zoom meeting. I’m so overwhelmed. maybe when I get my debt paid off I’ll start it. It’s based on healing trauma in a patriarchal, hierarchal society. So much trauma work doesn’t talk about the social structures and how we internalize oppression as women-and course WOC.

It’s like if I wasn’t a women I wouldn’t have nearly as much trauma. I did some journaling about the patriarchy today and did EFT on releasing victim consciousness. Even though it’s not okay, I can learn to accept the things I can not change and change the things I can.

I spent most of March doing work on releasing sex worker shame and internalized oppression. The corrupt programming is still there, but I have more awareness patriarchy programming and how to cope with it. I’m doing a lot of mind body work to heal my patriarchal stress disorder.

charlie61
04-01-2021, 06:50 PM
^^^ive been thinking of starting a 16 step program. I’m so overwhelmed. Maybe when I get my debt paid off. It’s based on healing trauma in a patriarchal, hierarchal society. I want to do it, but I’m so overwhelmed. I just hate so much trauma work does talk about the social structures. It’s like if I wasn’t a women I wouldn’t have nearly as much trauma. I wrote a letter to the patriarchy today and did EFT on releasing victim consciousness. Even though it’s not okay, I can learn to accept the things I can not change and change the things I can.

There’s a support group for women of color if you reach out to pineapple. I think by your post you a POC? Sorry can’t remember. There’s also a bipoc coworking meeting? I’ll see if I can’t find out? Message me and I’ll find out. You basically do your work (making content) with other POC SWers.

Have you looked into trying meditation as a form of trauma healing? I don't mean just focusing on your breath with your eyes closed. I'm talking about developing non-dual awareness, becoming aware of the transient nature of thoughts, etc. Intellectual meditation, in a way, i guess. Anyway, I'm always recommending the Waking Up app, because it's a course, rather than a random library of meditations. It is much more structured, and it isn't cheesy or trite. Only mentioning it as a potentially useful supplement to the other stuff you're incorporating! I believe the app will waive the yearly fee for anyone who emails their support team requesting the waiver as well.

AChildOfBoredom
04-01-2021, 09:08 PM
Holy shit. S and her gf managed to get the Amish girl to do a TikTok video with them. I never would’ve expected that to happen, let alone for her to partake in a video intended to be in any way sexy and provocative. She was never really comfortable around S… homosexuality in the Anabaptist communities is so taboo that it’s not even acknowledged or spoken of, especially in such a strictly conservative congress as the one she came from, and not only to do it along with them, but to even flaunt herself at all. She’s absolutely gorgeous, but we both came from an upbringing where that was a matter of scorn and shame. And when I brought her along with us back to the community we grew up in, those Mennonite boys were practically ready to wife her up on the spot, but she still had that inhibition and withdrew. And it’s also why auditioning to strip was much, much more than merely applying for a job to me. But how the hell did those two convince her?

yaya_cash
04-01-2021, 09:24 PM
^^^ive been thinking of starting a 16 step program zoom meeting. I’m so overwhelmed. maybe when I get my debt paid off I’ll start it. It’s based on healing trauma in a patriarchal, hierarchal society. So much trauma work doesn’t talk about the social structures and how we internalize oppression as women-and course WOC.

It’s like if I wasn’t a women I wouldn’t have nearly as much trauma. I did some journaling about the patriarchy today and did EFT on releasing victim consciousness. Even though it’s not okay, I can learn to accept the things I can not change and change the things I can.

I spent most of March doing work on releasing sex worker shame and internalized oppression. The corrupt programming is still there, but I have more awareness patriarchy programming and how to cope with it. I’m doing a lot of mind body work to heal my patriarchal stress disorder.

There's a Black Girl Therapy Podcast that's so good, and other resources there.

And I can list some related literature that will be helpful for you to read.

indiegirl
04-02-2021, 09:51 AM
Ewww :) I'm watching a clip from Bri and Bill on their engagement on marrying millions. I felt like the big age difference was a problem but after watching their engagement I'm feeling "Fuck it! this shit is cute."

https://youtu.be/Fbvh84v6Up4?t=207

JGB2009
04-02-2021, 10:10 AM
Although I like our phone calls every night, I kind of preferred when you texted me all through out the day. Texting gave me more time to do things......sometimes I am not much of a talking phone person.

indiegirl
04-02-2021, 05:04 PM
My stimulus money came in woot woot! Faster than last time!!

charlie61
04-02-2021, 05:29 PM
^Girl, you deserve all of the monies. I'll never recover from hearing that someone paid you in movie-set money and bounced.

AChildOfBoredom
04-02-2021, 10:54 PM
I’m not sure how I should feel about this. I laughed, but I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have.

54575

LoveyDovey
04-03-2021, 01:29 AM
^Girl, you deserve all of the monies. I'll never recover from hearing that someone paid you in movie-set money and bounced.

I know. How fucked up is that? Indie I hope your money finds you somehow (beside the stimulus.)

indiegirl
04-03-2021, 05:53 PM
I get anxiety over watching cooking videos of people chopping veggies too fast as if they may chop their fingers accidentally or grating cheese too quick so badly hahaha. Love watching cooking videos/food porn but MANNN it's the chopping that scares me!

One of the food channels I'm subscribed to on youtube called epicurious, the level 1 chef cut his finger and it so triggered me like "See!! this is dangerous!" hahaha.

Aurora_Sunset
04-03-2021, 06:30 PM
Two of my old coworkers got married today and live-streamed it on Facebook. Their officiant was another old coworker who is the groom's best friend, and I really wish someone would have talked to her about the way she delivered her lines. She literally read them off the paper as quickly as possible in that "high schooler reading out loud from the textbook" tone of voice. As though she'd never even seen the words before and was super robotic. I know it's just the way she always talks, but like, damn, girl. You're officiating your best friend's wedding. Could you have possibly put a bit more effort into it?

yaya_cash
04-03-2021, 06:41 PM
^^^ive been thinking of starting a 16 step program zoom meeting. I’m so overwhelmed. maybe when I get my debt paid off I’ll start it. It’s based on healing trauma in a patriarchal, hierarchal society. So much trauma work doesn’t talk about the social structures and how we internalize oppression as women-and course WOC.

It’s like if I wasn’t a women I wouldn’t have nearly as much trauma. I did some journaling about the patriarchy today and did EFT on releasing victim consciousness. Even though it’s not okay, I can learn to accept the things I can not change and change the things I can.

I spent most of March doing work on releasing sex worker shame and internalized oppression. The corrupt programming is still there, but I have more awareness patriarchy programming and how to cope with it. I’m doing a lot of mind body work to heal my patriarchal stress disorder.

How was therapy, girl?!

charlie61
04-03-2021, 07:11 PM
Two of my old coworkers got married today and live-streamed it on Facebook. Their officiant was another old coworker who is the groom's best friend, and I really wish someone would have talked to her about the way she delivered her lines. She literally read them off the paper as quickly as possible in that "high schooler reading out loud from the textbook" tone of voice. As though she'd never even seen the words before and was super robotic. I know it's just the way she always talks, but like, damn, girl. You're officiating your best friend's wedding. Could you have possibly put a bit more effort into it?

She may have been anxious / nervous and was rushing through it for that reason. Sounds awkward though! I didn't speak at my sister's wedding because i knew I'd do a terrible job (major public-speaking anxiety).

AChildOfBoredom
04-03-2021, 10:15 PM
Yeah, weddings are back on. I think I was the one thing the pandemic had me grateful for. Soon, it’ll back to Gertrude and Dolores asking why I’m not sporting a ring and talking about my biological clock. And I’ll have to bite my tongue and refrain from telling them it doesn’t matter because I’m already dead.

But at least I’m getting to an age where the groomsmen et. all tend to either be married already or in LTRs, so,perhaps the upcoming ones won’t be quite as intolerable as past ones. We’ll see.

JGB2009
04-03-2021, 10:42 PM
When you keep yourself from doing things you should not be doing.

indiegirl
04-04-2021, 06:50 PM
When you keep yourself from doing things you should not be doing.

I hate that feeling too.

Random thought..I've been wanting a partner so bad in the past few days. Someone who just does absolutely nothing with me on days off that we plan together to watch movies or just walk and talk etc. I'm honestly over sex lately. Sometimes I feel embarrassed my life hasn't improved as fast as others and feel uncomfortable discussing it.

carmen_b
04-04-2021, 06:52 PM
This casino gave me 4 Sun - Thurs comped rooms haha.
I’m a fan of them again lol , they didn’t charge extra for my dog !

charlie61
04-04-2021, 07:23 PM
^you in Vegas working?!

moneybags
04-04-2021, 07:55 PM
I’m flattered, but slightly annoyed at getting cat called in middle age?

indiegirl
04-05-2021, 02:24 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axMitCpTWkI
This is legit me when I was in Barre Class and the teacher would say 1 last set and then she would continue with more sets. Obviously I didn't behave like that with my private track coach... but it was the Barre Class that kicked the crap out of me LOL.

lilylilylily
04-05-2021, 12:16 PM
It just feels good to ignore my ex and a toxic friend. One of the reasons I haven't blocked them

JGB2009
04-06-2021, 08:31 AM
Its only Tuesday and it was so hard for me to wake up this morning. When I am really sleepy I keep pushing the snooze button and in the process I run myself late. I kind of don't know what I am really doing when I do that. When Saturday comes I just wanna sleep in and be absolutely lazy!!!!

charlie61
04-06-2021, 10:00 AM
I reliably get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, but i feel like maybe i need to start going to bed even earlier. Some people just need more sleep than others. My partner feels great after 6 hours, so it kind of sucks to be the one going to bed so much earlier, like I'm 90 years old. :D

LoveyDovey
04-06-2021, 12:20 PM
I love sleeping. It's my favorite thing to do.