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carmen_b
11-16-2021, 09:28 AM
I was so excited over the summer to get back in the dancing game . I'm so " meh " about it now.
We live about an hour and 45 min. from my nearest club which is nothing new ( I used to travel three hours to work 2-3 days ).

These days the long drive seems worse.
I'd prefer a wig and working IN the town I live in but we don't have clubs in this town.
It sounds so lovely to get dolled up and just go work for 6 hours for example IF it was only a 10-15 min. drive.
:/

I PROTECTED today and tomorrow on my calendar for example and it was NOT easy.
Looking back I regret traveling over the weekend because that burned my energy.
When I don't go for a bit I get into this " look what I left on the table " element of thinking . I guess I can go next week and/or the one after ( totally aware this way of thinking is how you make a little from dancing instead of a lot ). Maybe it just needs to be a once a month thing for me ( two shifts and one trip out of town ) instead of thinking in terms of 4 shifts per month ( two trips ) .

These days too I'm easily guilted ( my nephew arrives in town tomorrow for example ).
I thought he was coming Thursday.

Aurora_Sunset
11-16-2021, 07:27 PM
I still feel weird about how I stood up for myself at work the other day. I'm glad I spoke up about something I thought was total BS, but I keep wishing I had delivered what I said in a different way. Like, I wish I was cooler and calmer about it, instead of just obviously trying too hard to be calm when I was actually worked up. I wasn't rude, but I feel like I was weird.

carmen_b
11-17-2021, 01:12 PM
I may pretend my family arrives earlier ( like at 4 ) instead of their 7 p.m. arrival .
It's just a small elaboration right ? :)
This will get me out of the house entirely during the chaotic time where my partner invites his buddy and buddies kid over ( 4:30 - 7 ) .
I could just go to the quiet AirBnB and wait patiently with my dog instead of here at what will be a loud house.

JGB2009
11-17-2021, 02:02 PM
^^^^ Can't blame you. I would do the same.

carmen_b
11-17-2021, 04:58 PM
^ I did. :)
Here and enjoying the quiet . :)

My peaceful evening got me thinking about maybe doing this just for the hell of it here and there.
If the property is cleaned I have to be ULTRA clean. If I want my own " crash " day I can also time it to leave it dirty for me ( ha ! ) before cleaners get there. I hadn't used the place because keeping track of the schedule was just so much but now seeing that I would have FOUR solid hours of quiet 3:30 - 7:30 for just a 28-30 min. drive I am tempted to try a couple nights like that.

WendiStarr
11-17-2021, 05:51 PM
I'm seriously considering a medical transcription program. I'm going to need something that doesn't require a quiet background at home.

whirlerz
11-18-2021, 12:17 PM
I'm seriously considering a medical transcription program. I'm going to need something that doesn't require a quiet background at home.

Wendi, there's transcribing, I'll have to look up the links.. I believe you need good English grammar skills..

Here ya go: http://www.rev.com

http://allegistranscription.com


Edit : correction on spelling 2nd link, sorry

TheBrownFox
11-18-2021, 06:57 PM
56197


OMG, I actually won!!!

chanzep
11-18-2021, 07:09 PM
Yayy!!.

AChildOfBoredom
11-18-2021, 07:40 PM
Of course it had to be me, that stopping at a bakery with my friend from the community would turn into something bizarre. Fucking hell.

chanzep
11-18-2021, 07:52 PM
Hope you are ok.

trustfundkiller
11-18-2021, 07:56 PM
I'm trying to think about the best way to go about meeting a stranger face-to-face for a transaction. I listed a $350 bracelet for sale on the Next-door app, and this guy says he's interested in buying it for his daughter. I'm thinking I could meet him at the lobby of the police station. But, then I worry about receiving counterfeit money. My mom suggested meeting him at the bank and getting the bills checked, then handing him the bracelet but that seems awkward to navigate.

Has anyone done something like that before?

Staci
11-18-2021, 08:02 PM
I'm trying to think about the best way to go about meeting a stranger face-to-face for a transaction. I listed a $350 bracelet for sale on the Next-door app, and this guy says he's interested in buying it for his daughter. I'm thinking I could meet him at the lobby of the police station. But, then I worry about receiving counterfeit money. My mom suggested meeting him at the bank and getting the bills checked, then handing him the bracelet but that seems awkward to navigate.

Has anyone done something like that before?
Can't you just have him CashApp you the money instead of accepting cash?

AChildOfBoredom
11-18-2021, 08:04 PM
Hope you are ok.

I’m fine. It was just really weird, and I don’t even think it was my fault this time.

charlie61
11-18-2021, 09:26 PM
I'm going to try to stop anticipating my partner's needs and asking if he wants things. Instead, I'll do my best to wait for him to ask for things he wants.

I know that sounds potentially game-y and unhealthy, but i mean it for small things, not big things. Like, every night, i make myself an herbal tea, and i ask if he'd like one, too. He often does. But i don't think it sets up a healthy dynamic for me to be asking questions like that - it's almost motherly, especially if it's happening multiple times a day for different things. If he wants a tea, then he knows my routine well enough to request that i make him one, too. I gave him a heads up that I'm going to work on asking him fewer questions like that, and that he can always request things from me. Does that sound weird, or does it make sense?

Marina Starr
11-20-2021, 07:43 AM
You know what a lot of people who do things that negatively affect other people when they're repeatedly told to stop don't like?!
They don't like being told it says something about their character.

TheBrownFox
11-20-2021, 09:02 AM
This 'How far should I take the friendship?' thread in Customer Conversation is pretty much Robcartruck posting diary entries talking to himself, and cashman chiming in here and there to wish him the best. Lol.

miss.a.p1600
11-20-2021, 09:33 AM
I'm going to try to stop anticipating my partner's needs and asking if he wants things. Instead, I'll do my best to wait for him to ask for things he wants.

I know that sounds potentially game-y and unhealthy, but i mean it for small things, not big things. Like, every night, i make myself an herbal tea, and i ask if he'd like one, too. He often does. But i don't think it sets up a healthy dynamic for me to be asking questions like that - it's almost motherly, especially if it's happening multiple times a day for different things. If he wants a tea, then he knows my routine well enough to request that i make him one, too. I gave him a heads up that I'm going to work on asking him fewer questions like that, and that he can always request things from me. Does that sound weird, or does it make sense?

I feel ya.

Last thing I want to do is fill some Mommy role with a grown man.

L will try n lay his head on my chest and I always instantly move. I’ve never had a guy lay his head on my chest. It instantly gave me mommy issue vibes I refuse to participate.

carmen_b
11-20-2021, 01:09 PM
Omg the movie Last Night in Soho was such a flaming pile of shit from a sex workers perspective.
There is so much wrong with it that it would take a novel.

Approach it only with that warning if you dare.

Genoveve
11-20-2021, 01:18 PM
This 'How far should I take the friendship?' thread in Customer Conversation is pretty much Robcartruck posting diary entries talking to himself, and cashman chiming in here and there to wish him the best. Lol.

It's Raziel. Always does the exact same thing.

charlie61
11-20-2021, 01:22 PM
I'm going to try to stop anticipating my partner's needs and asking if he wants things. Instead, I'll do my best to wait for him to ask for things he wants.

I know that sounds potentially game-y and unhealthy, but i mean it for small things, not big things. Like, every night, i make myself an herbal tea, and i ask if he'd like one, too. He often does. But i don't think it sets up a healthy dynamic for me to be asking questions like that - it's almost motherly, especially if it's happening multiple times a day for different things. If he wants a tea, then he knows my routine well enough to request that i make him one, too. I gave him a heads up that I'm going to work on asking him fewer questions like that, and that he can always request things from me. Does that sound weird, or does it make sense?

Update, it's working already. He asked me to make him a tea last night instead of me offering - it basically gets him to pay more attention to what I'm doing and puts accountability back on him to assess and voice his needs, which feels healthier. That's just a small example - there are other things I'm trying to stop asking him, too.

TheBrownFox
11-21-2021, 12:13 AM
It's Raziel. Always does the exact same thing.


OMG...lol.

lilylilylily
11-21-2021, 12:25 AM
I got an accidental text from a guy I haven't spoken to in a month. I ended it for various reasons. He texted tonight, "I'll be there in 5 minutes" I sent a ? . He said "sorry, wrong number" ok sure buddy

AChildOfBoredom
11-21-2021, 03:45 AM
I don’t understand how middle aged dudes will die on that hill of insisting men were so much more manly in the 1980s. I mean, tell me these fuckers don’t look like a bunch of queens with all the makeup they’re wearing?


https://youtu.be/9wPHxQMgdKs

WendiStarr
11-21-2021, 07:11 AM
The one good thing about having estranged family that you're not close with is that you get to save your money. I must've spent at least $3k last year on buying presents for a bunch of kids and ungrateful adults. Now I can buy Christmas presents for my own kids and not worry about anyone else.

carmen_b
11-21-2021, 11:45 AM
I have developed a paranoia about leaving town to dance that I don’t think is based in reality.

My partner has never said anything negative about it , only positive support !

My narrative goes something like this :
“ It’s going to make him upset I’m leaving for two days. It won’t look good. Ect...... “

charlie61
11-21-2021, 12:06 PM
I have developed a paranoia about leaving town to dance that I don’t think is based in reality.

My partner has never said anything negative about it , only positive support !

My narrative goes something like this :
“ It’s going to make him upset I’m leaving for two days. It won’t look good. Ect...... “

Interesting! Do you think the core issue is that you don't want to go, so your brain is looking for external excuses to not go?

carmen_b
11-21-2021, 12:10 PM
^ It’s VERY possible !

I think if I *knew* I’d hit $400-$500 a night I couldn’t argue with myself.
But you never know. You take that risk every time. Maybe I need to rethink it. I work in Vegas so maybe I just need to think in terms of “ let’s have a fun gambling trip. I’ll put up my time and see if I hit anything “ haha.

The last two weeks I felt like I had real hold ups ( real estate license tasks and a medical specialist visit ).
This week I feel more open with the schedule.

charlie61
11-21-2021, 12:47 PM
^ It’s VERY possible !

I think if I *knew* I’d hit $400-$500 a night I couldn’t argue with myself.
But you never know. You take that risk every time. Maybe I need to rethink it. I work in Vegas so maybe I just need to think in terms of “ let’s have a fun gambling trip. I’ll put up my time and see if I hit anything “ haha.

The last two weeks I felt like I had real hold ups ( real estate license tasks and a medical specialist visit ). This week I feel more open with the schedule.

I totally hear you. I always try to find an element of play in my work, but that can be really hard when you're dancing for money that will be used to pay real bills. And it's so hard to keep that energy up for hours when money isn't coming in fast enough.

I do think that infrequent dancing really increases the pressure to make $$$$ during the few shifts you work. Working more frequently gives you more opportunities to make what you need to make, and also makes it feel more like a normal job. Show up, work, leave, rinse, repeat. Whereas i think you're using dancing as, "if i reeeeaaally need the money, I'll pick up a couple of shifts" - that's kind of the opposite of trying to keep dancing fun, light, and consistent.

carmen_b
11-21-2021, 12:57 PM
^ At this point it’s just extra play money . :)

I think I will try to go instead of giving into these weird thoughts ha!

I try to do “ two days to myself “ when my partner has his daughter in a 4 day chunk . It’s a lot of time to be here all in a row. Maybe one dance day and one actually “ fully “ to myself would be nice. It’s only two days haha ! I am just trying to be proactive during these longer visits . I feel it keeps things balanced and authentic ( I’m happy to see her ) vs having “ ok when are you leaving “ thoughts around day 3 and then feeling guilty for those thoughts.

I need an escape during this time.
I can go hide at my AirBnB during that time ( always slow M-W on the days we have her ) but then I don't make anything. I was trying to be productive.
Dancing is just a way to get some extra $ while doing that.

Aurora_Sunset
11-21-2021, 04:47 PM
My cat has a developed a routine where, after she eats her dinner, she comes and sits in my lap while I'm at the computer. As soon as she's done eating, she'll come to the edge of the bed and either wait impatiently for me to turn around and notice her, or start pawing at the back of the chair. It's adorable. I love her.

AChildOfBoredom
11-21-2021, 06:56 PM
Again, a lot to unpack, and there's another "multiple posts crammed into one" post inbound.

I'll start with the bakery incident. Nothing bad, just had me a little flustered. I was running some errands with my friend from the community, and she asked me what the sign on a business was. So I stopped, parked, and told her we should go in. The sign said "panaderia", and I figured she'd like it. Which she did. We're going through and she's asking questions and I'm answering to the best of my ability (e.g., she didn't know what churros were), and we decided we'd get some things while we were there. This whole time, we're speaking in Plautdietsch. Between her, her children, and everyone at my house (plus S and her girlfriend were stopping by later on, and were already there when we got back) I wasn't certain if I had enough cash to get stuff for everyone, so I asked the woman at the counter in Spanish if they could run a card or if it was cash only. After that, an older woman comes from the back of the bakery, approaches us, and asks if we're tourists from Germany, and how was it that the Spanish I spoke was Latin American (the people I learned Spanish from were coworkers from various parts of Central- and South America... I never took Spanish classes) rather than Castillan. So I told her we're both American, how I learned Spanish, and she was curious about us and why we were speaking a German dialect, and she switched to English when she realized my friend didn't speak Spanish at all. So we explained that we were both from a Mennonite community, I left to try my hand at living 'English', she ended up here because she needed to find work to support her children after her husband passed, and this woman pretty much wanted to adopt my friend at this point, and asked to see photos of her children and such. Then she asked me to see photos of my children, and I told her I don't have any. Then she asked my age, and when I told her I'm 31, she first didn't believe I'm that old, then was kinda scornful about me not having children at this age. And so the "why not?" question was asked, and my friend decided to be a smartass at that moment and say, "She listens to horrible music, and men don't approach her because they can't dance with her", at which point this woman from the bakery began giving me a lecture about how I need to listen to music which inspires me to move (which, the music I listen to does, just in a more violent way), then she starts dancing while singing/humming, and at one point she gets behind me and starts pushing my hips side to side, and my friend thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever, and I'm just bewildered and thinking, "Is this really happening right now?". So all these shitheads better appreciate the baked goods they got, because the cost of them wasn't just measured in Mammon. And what's grating about the whole thing is that I actually do know how to dance to a variety of music styles... I'm not professionally trained or anything, but I have done go-go dancing as a side hustle, and apparently was okay enough at it to have been picked to work venues featuring some pretty big names. So there was that. My friend still giggles about the whole thing, but I let it go. I think recovering from losing her husband is still a difficult and ongoing process for her, so I won't deny her the opportunity to laugh about something, even if at my expense.

Things are changing in the shop. All of the mechanic's for business ventures owned solely by my employer or the holding company he established are being merged into their own business, so instead of working for "--------- Sitework Services", we'll be working for "------------ Fleet Systems" as of December 1. Which includes the bus company, but those bozos are staying where they're at, fortunately. That does not include the trucking company on "the other side", which not only because they're not a solely owned venture of my employer, but they cease to exist around the beginning of the year - they were bought out by a larger trucking company and have already started the process of vacating this facility. Which, that was kinda fun. The trucking company who did the buyout apparently didn't understand that the building didn't come with the deal, because my employer wholly owns this building and the space they used was leased to the trucking company. They actually tried telling us we'd have to vacate until they realized this. My employer was talking about leasing that space instead of us expanding to occupy the whole facility, and meh. Some of the guys from the trucking company decided they didn't want to work for the company who did the buyout, and are talking about starting their own shop. I would prefer they lease that space (or at least the bays closest to where I work) than any of the prospective lessees I've encountered so far, and the ones talking about it are skilled enough to make it work.

Friday, I had to tow a pickup with a 35 ft. fifth wheel RV trailer with that 16 ton wrecker. So we got to the dealership, I separated the truck and the trailer, reconnected the driveshaft, and got that situated and I was putting the trailer attachment on because I was taking the trailer to a campground they were gonna stay at while their truck was getting fixed, and this woman who had come in towing a car on a rollback walked over and struck up a conversation with me. Turned out she owned her own company, and was looking for a driver. So she asked what kind of experience I had, so I told her I used quick picks for PPIs and repossessions, I've run the typical 8 - 10 ton twin line with an underbody, I've run various sizes of rollbacks including a four car hauler, I run that 16 ton wrecker, and sometimes I run a 40 ton DTU as part of my job as a diesel mechanic, and also explained that I'm only towing two days a week and I got back into it really because it's a job I loved doing, and I missed it. So she tells me she's looking for a driver and makes some pretty strong hints about me working for her, so I told her I might know some people, but I can't go full-time because I'm pretty heavily invested in my regular job. Before I left, she told me if I came to her door looking for part-time work, she would put me to work. So I don't know. I was gonna stick with the motor club, but the work here is a little mundane at times... it's not very often we do actual recovery work... plus the vibe I was getting from her was really good, and I think it would be nice to work for a woman owned company.

My parents are here, his parents are here. My mother's been probing a little about the one thing she knows about that my sister kinda gave away, but she's mostly behaving herself. His parents are being absolutely delightful towards me, especially after finding out the lengths I went through to get him a good job and what he needed for it. I had to borrow a van to pick them up from the airport, especially since it was going to be expected that my sister, her boyfriend, my friend from the community, her children, and the Amish girl be there to meet them when they landed. New girl received a pretty warm reception from them, as well. My parents understand that the others in this house are important to me.

chanzep
11-21-2021, 09:09 PM
That woman at the bakery needs to chill. Not everyone wants kids and a man.

LoveyD
11-22-2021, 01:19 AM
Crocs with socks. I saw it at the gas station yesterday. The only thing worse than socks and Birkenstocks is Crocs with socks.

TheBrownFox
11-22-2021, 06:30 AM
^Why the fuck is some random bakery bitch asking to see pics of your kids, and all up in your business? *Cringe* She needs to focus on toasting that bagel without burning it, and mind her damn business. Lol. I wish women would stop treating other women like it's their duty to be married to a man and have his babies. *Eye roll*

Marina Starr
11-22-2021, 08:10 AM
I told this one old bitch that if she continues smoking where it's affecting other people after been told to stop then that says something about her character. She was fuming. I guess I hurt her feelings so bad and quite frankly, I don't give a flying fuck. I was told I don't know anything about her to make judgement about her character. I told her I don't need to know her, her actions tell me all I needed to know. She's got an Audi, I told her to go smoke in her Audi and turn the windows up. Just as I told some fucker few weeks a go to go smoke in his latest Mercedes model with the windows rolled up.


A lot of smokers know cigarettes smoke affect non-smokers but they're too entitled to give a fuck. They will give any excuses to smoke.
Just because smoking is "allowed" doesn't make it right when other people are being subjected to second hand smoking.

carmen_b
11-22-2021, 08:33 AM
Yeah I was appalled by that!
I think we need to program ourselves to not get pinned in this type of uncomfy talk.
Turn it on the person asking annd ask THEM " Why would you want to ask this ? Why are you hinting that my life isn't good enough as is ? "
I feel questions back to them speak even louder than statements to nosy people .

I think it just comes down to them being jealous AF. If that is the case just admit it and we can talk about fun ways to take a break from your own kids ! I have all kinds of ideas. Your secret ( that you would dare to admit you want a break ) is safe with me too. :)


That woman at the bakery needs to chill. Not everyone wants kids and a man.

LoveyD
11-22-2021, 08:38 AM
Exactly. Why does Bakery Bitch need to know? Not her business.

chanzep
11-22-2021, 07:19 PM
Even though I'm looking forward to cooking my Hen this week I can't be bothered until then. Probably eat some Trader Joes stuff until then.
I wish I had friends coming to eat with me. I have enough food. Wal-Mart sent me a big pie because normal sized was out of stock. If I had in
office job I would be bringing it to share.
I was talking to one of my friends in London today she said I should make new friends. I'm thinking to join groups in meet up . I just want to do hiking group and maybe another meet up for coffee or something. Nothing crazy. I'm not sure I really gel with vanilla people. All my close friends bar 1 back home were dancers. Oh well I will try.

indiegirl
11-23-2021, 02:00 AM
I've been following Chelsea Handler for a long time and I seriously see her marrying Jo Koy. They are so cute together!! I'm glad she waited it out instead of just getting married for the hell of it because she was getting older. She skipped out on the stress of divorce and issues while she waited for her person to come along.

Also someone is annoyed at me for backing out of Thanksgiving. I felt a sense of relief saying I can't go despite it turning into them saying, "It's just one day. We really would love to have you come." Fudge monkey, I feel free. I hate the holidays. We need to start eliminating some of the holidays...there's too many LOLLL!

Lastly, people need to stop talking about my massages in reviews lolll. It's bringing in the massage only crowd and they want a cheaper price. It's getting annoying. I don't do massage only or else I'd have the guy laying down on a park bench LOLL...there's not enough money in it to make my money back.

Luci Fer
11-23-2021, 04:49 PM
Crocs with socks. I saw it at the gas station yesterday. The only thing worse than socks and Birkenstocks is Crocs with socks.

ugh, every kind of sandals with open toes is horrible with socks unless you are a little girl. I cringe when I see guys wearing them. ;D

carmen_b
11-23-2021, 06:42 PM
I feel like I turned a weirdness corner haha.
I would be totally fine if I only saw my partner like two days this week.
Actually if it happened I would feel refreshed.
He didn't do anything *that* bad ( just the pouting thing last Sat. from another thread I was talking about ).

I am just starving for time to myself .
He was understanding and has given it to me in the last two days I'd say.
He excused me ( not pushed away ) but just let me know I wasn't expected to hang at all yesterday and today of daughters visit.
He at least listened when I said I felt like I was starving for time.

I bought a new dress ( JP penny clearance for $12 yesssss ) and had chowder yesterday.
^ I didn't book anything for my me time just ended up at the mall and dinner ha but it was still nice.

charlie61
11-23-2021, 08:02 PM
Getting my covid booster shot tomorrow. Can't believe it's been exactly six months since my vaccination!

whirlerz
11-23-2021, 08:21 PM
So, I applied for this WAH, I previously did thru an agency.. I applied directly.. I had to do it on my lappie, which I rarely use, it was interesting, I had to take tests, record like 4 vids, I think I did good, however, when I worked w/them thru the agency, I got all fucked up, hurt myself on this dump when I took the dumpsters up, strained my neck/back so I had to take time off , my computer I was using broke completely down.. I had a major problem getting my pay card, due to them changing around my rural address.. I didn't know who to contact about it, since my former boss blew me off, so I emailed everyone sounding like a
nut cause of desperation to get paid!

I had to tell them I worked for them before, tho technically it was thru the agency.. My lappie meets the requirements..we'll see I guess.

The idiots smooshed my ethernet cable,( thank you very much)::) , on my 3rd one, it's OK for now but I should really get another

indiegirl
11-24-2021, 06:53 AM
I want this shirt so bad still. Emperors New Groove is my favorite animated film....plus it works as a man repellant at the same time LOL.

https://i.ibb.co/hcNjRxQ/Screen-Shot-2021-11-24-at-5-48-37-AM.png (https://ibb.co/JqT4RW6)
picture host (https://imgbb.com/)

JGB2009
11-24-2021, 08:18 AM
My daughters doctor ordered her a Epipen and told her to stay away from peanuts and fish just in case until she sees the allergist. Hopefully soon the allergist will call me with a appointment date.

Luci Fer
11-24-2021, 04:17 PM
I bought makeup fixing spray today to try it first time. And it gives such nice magazine cover look, more alive, not 'flat' as before. I also feel like my face is a painting. You draw it and then you fix what you drew ;D

whirlerz
11-24-2021, 04:26 PM
What kind? I never really used it, I probably have a couple around..

Luci Fer
11-24-2021, 06:22 PM
What kind? I never really used it, I probably have a couple around..

This one! They had 3 types, one with matting effect, but I thought hyaluron/hydrating would be better.

WendiStarr
11-24-2021, 06:34 PM
Today has been a long, long day. I hope the kids go to sleep soon.