View Full Version : The Random Thoughts Thread...
carmen_b
01-28-2022, 03:37 PM
I think the end lesson here is that you NEVER tease a stripper with $$$$.
Ever ever ever.
Want a Pandoras box of fire and wrath to open on you , drag you to hell, then swallow you whole ?
Then go ahead and tease a stripper with money.
Saying you are ok with working at a club and then not being ok ?
Don't.
charlie61
01-28-2022, 03:41 PM
^also guilt tripping you into dancing for him for free
carmen_b
01-28-2022, 03:49 PM
I think he was just SO curious and dying to see what it was ( since he hadn't been to a club ).
I was clear with lines like the women here advised ( I didn't even come within a foot of him ) .
He is obviously NOT ok with dancing ( at this current moment ) even though he seemed to be last fall.
What a luxury that I *barely* made 5 k on this before a meltdown. :/
Then accept no dancing in our lives I guess.
I'm not just going to dance for free ( even if it's just 15 min. ) and be ok with it.
I did it *once* to see what would happen.
Even asking is really riding an overly needy line .......
I get the curious cat nature of this whole thing but quit ignoring what I'm most interested in with this skill ( the extra money ). To ME that is what having this skill is about .
chanzep
01-28-2022, 04:07 PM
Sorry this is happening but I'm not surprised. Only losers/ crazy dudes/ addicts are generally ok with dancing.
I think you should dance because you want to. But it might cost you your relationship. It happened to me before I didn't regret not giving up.
Unless he puts a ring on it what is the point. You can't dance forever so do it while you still can.
carmen_b
01-28-2022, 04:10 PM
^ There is some point to it but I struggle with dancing in other ways ( unless I moved to a city with non-smoking clubs ).
I can't stand smoking and there are no options non-smoking near me currently.
We are just "stuck" at the moment and I'm embarrassed we found our way into another " meh " convo about it.
I want a little extra money but not giving so many hours it would affect us at all.
chanzep
01-28-2022, 04:16 PM
You sound very conflicted. Sound like your relationship is more important to you .
I don't think counselling will change his mind. People think what they think about this stuff.
I hope you are able to find a happy outcome.
carmen_b
01-28-2022, 04:21 PM
He has said multiple times he is fine my idea of 3 shifts a month. :/
Then last month he wasn’t fine .
That was the month I was super depressed ( even during his supportive phase the first few weeks of Dec ).
It’s the only “ difference “ factor I can think of.
I think he is ultimately just disappointed with the *reality* of what this job is ( wanting money quickly / being tired / highs and lows ).
charlie61
01-28-2022, 04:42 PM
I think he is ultimately just disappointed with the *reality* of what this job is ( wanting money quickly / sometimes being tired / highs and lows ).
Doesn't this describe every job? Haha. For real though, this is every job... especially any IC / business owner job. I don't think his issue is the highs and lows. I think he has an issue with you running off to give all of these guys a pro show, while he's the partner left at home getting no dances + getting the real, non-pro version of you. I think he's just jealous.
JGB2009
01-28-2022, 07:21 PM
My jacket is on my bed and my cat is snuggled up on top of it. I love my cats.
indiegirl
01-28-2022, 09:00 PM
The air pods are now installed on the new phone and they are wild!! It's like having long hearing aids hahaha. I haven't tested how far I can walk around with them yet. I sound like I'm 80 years old trying out something new involving technology hahahaha! :P
miss.a.p1600
01-28-2022, 09:23 PM
It’s also a challenge to come to grips with quitting cause a dude wants you to vs quitting on your own accord.
He may be drawing the line here that if you don’t quit, he won’t be happy and will haggle you about male attention from you vs his attention from you.
Then if you quit for him and if you happen to have a financial challenge will he help out enough to make this sacrifice worth your while.
Doesn't this describe every job? Haha. For real though, this is every job... especially any IC / business owner job. I don't think his issue is the highs and lows. I think he has an issue with you running off to give all of these guys a pro show, while he's the partner left at home getting no dances + getting the real, non-pro version of you. I think he's just jealous.
agreed. He was cool in the beginning because he thought it was just spur of the moment every now and then type of fun. But now that he’s gotten curious started peeling back the curtain so the speak, realize you dance more often n regularly than he initially thought, the reality is sinking in and he’s turning into the typical “this is MY woman” “I don’t want other men to see her in this intimate way” “you must quit this line of work” type bf
AChildOfBoredom
01-28-2022, 10:05 PM
Saw this TikTok video showing what people would expect a conversation with their 16 year-old selves to be like. 16 year-old me would’ve been beside herself - not in a good way - after present day me explained, “This is what’s to come…”. Especially explaining the whole bit about, “You die at 19, but death isn’t an escape”. There was one boy from the community who was particularly enamored with me, and everyone thought we were going to get married. I would’ve told younger me that it’s pointless to keep lying to myself and pretend like I could see it happening. It was way awkward seeing him again when I took my sister and the Amish girl there over Spring Break, especially because his wife knows. Perhaps a bit more awkward since aging treated us a little different.
I used to dream of joining a traveling circus. I suppose old me would’ve been disappointed to learn that wouldn’t come to pass.
indiegirl
01-28-2022, 11:37 PM
Saw this TikTok video showing what people would expect a conversation with their 16 year-old selves to be like. 16 year-old me would’ve been beside herself - not in a good way - after present day me explained, “This is what’s to come…”. Especially explaining the whole bit about, “You die at 19, but death isn’t an escape”. There was one boy from the community who was particularly enamored with me, and everyone thought we were going to get married. I would’ve told younger me that it’s pointless to keep lying to myself and pretend like I could see it happening. It was way awkward seeing him again when I took my sister and the Amish girl there over Spring Break, especially because his wife knows. Perhaps a bit more awkward since aging treated us a little different.
I used to dream of joining a traveling circus. I suppose old me would’ve been disappointed to learn that wouldn’t come to pass.
I would've told me then "Girlll buckle up, it's not gonna be cute. You won't be living that family life with a minivan and kids when you reach 30. And no there won't be levitating/flying cars in the future.
carmen_b
01-29-2022, 09:25 AM
^ I think my fear was not finding a dude at that age.
I'd tell myself to focus on $$ and other goals and not worry about it !!
There are not examples of being happy despite experiencing break ups for young girls in this age range. Where I grew up ( a conservative area ) there were ONLY examples of staying with one partner for years.
When I lost my " one partner " in 2018 I was a mess !
I had ZERO examples of what it looked like to smoothly move on.
carmen_b
01-29-2022, 09:27 AM
J was Mr. Nice Guy yesterday.
I think men know when they are treading on super thin ice lol .
It's almost worth it to have these stupid disagreements.
Yesterday was so luxurious.
The issue of the dancing for a crowd aside ......
The comment about " trading " the extra 30 min. of TV for something more visual is still aggravating me !
Bring up these ideas BEFORE a sexual encounter or in a conversation about what you want to try in the future. He knows his timing was bizarre. It was in VERY poor taste and he will probably be hearing a lot MORE about the poor taste nature of this. Quit acting like you " need " above and beyond when you knew me for 11 months not even knowing I was an entertainer.
The overly needy vibe is making me want to leave him and then I cycle in thoughts.
He doesn't overly infringe on my *time* I'd say. We have that very well balanced.
It's more about comments that pop up when I'm not expecting them.
In this case, it was ONE comment but I'm having a hard time with it.
I'm having a hard time letting *that* comment go ( the one about asking for something more visual " tomorrow " ) .
I think he specifically said something like " wanting a dance or yoga in sexy clothes " .
I probably need to let it go because I don't think he meant to be as offensive as I'm taking it.
^ I’ll probably edit out a lot from this recent thread. :/
Secret Shelly
01-29-2022, 02:38 PM
Waiting for incall #3 today and i'm just thinking how i had forgotten the feeling of how dry my skin gets from the multiple showers during the day...i need to start requiring customers to bring me moisturizer along with their payment!
Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 08:53 PM
Maybe this makes me a dick, but if I'm in the far left lane while driving, and I'm already going 20 over the speed limit, if someone zooms up and rides my ass.... I rarely move over for them. Sorry, Karen/Chad, but I'm not gonna switch lanes over and over, slam on my brakes to get behind someone going way slower than me, and delay my trip, because you feel the need to go 90 in a 55 due to your shitty time management skills. My thought is, if they're willing to drive that recklessly with speed already, they can take the extra risk of weaving in and out of traffic themselves.
20 over is already considered "reckless driving" if you're pulled over, and I've been slammed with a $300 ticket and 6 points on my license for that before. There is no reason for anyone to be going faster than that, imo. We're already flying past all the other lanes. If they want to drive like a bat out of wherever, they can go through the effort of going around me. Not gonna take extra time and effort on my part to accommodate them. I know the left lane is for vroom-vroom-ing, but I am ALREADY vroom-vrooming, goddam.
Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 09:21 PM
A friend texted me last night that she was watching a movie and it had completely nude strippers. She asked if that was common and if I was a completely nude dancer back in the day. I went into a long tangent about all the different rules and laws that can apply to strip clubs in different states. It was really interesting to see what I could remember about all the various strip club laws. She was just blown away, because there being nude/non-nude clubs, the non-nude clubs usually not serving alcohol, grinding clubs vs needing to keep a foot on the floor, "regulation thong thickness," yada yada was all stuff she would've never thought about being wildly different in different places. I was suddenly trying to remember all the things I knew about the different things in different states that I researched years ago lol
AChildOfBoredom
01-30-2022, 12:33 AM
Played another show tonight, this time at a real shithole dive bar. We’d get people in the scene espousing anti-vaxx sentiments, saying they’re concerned about what goes in their body, and others would be like, “I literally saw you snorting coke off the toilet seat at (this bar), and NOW you’re worried about what goes into your body?!”. The kid couldn’t go to this one - it was 21+, and they actually enforce it now. I used to get in when I was 18/19, but after a couple police raids, they cracked down on it. And you need proof of vaccination now, also. So, I ended up doing double duty tonight… we were on first, then the bassist for the third band forgot his ID and vaccination card, so he couldn’t get in. I know these guys and their songs well enough to have their tablature mostly figured out, and since I was more comfortable playing a regular six string than a full size bass (being 4’11” and all), I did guitar and some backing vocals for them for their set, rather than them having to cancel. Though someone called me “Mary Poppins” when we were setting up. Had a cute thrift store dress (with steel toed boots) and a derby hat, so for my vocal warmup I sang “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious“, though I’m sure they dropped the Mary Poppins reference after our set. The dancer whose sister works at the equestrian center was there - we pretty much do everything together - and I don’t think she felt quite at home at that place… our last set (which she was there for) was a thing held at the place where we rent a practice space. We were outliers there, whereas we were more the norm here. The EMTs having to come and haul off a guy who suffered an OD in the pool room probably didn’t help either. She asked how I could possibly feel safe there… we all have knives, and my band mates are a pretty rough crowd who’ll step in if need be. Our drummer was homeless and hooked on drugs before he cleaned up (and has some pretty wild stories of things happening inside dumpsters), our bassist and one guitarist had been gutter punks, etc.
indiegirl
01-30-2022, 06:12 AM
Weeww I'm listening to turn up music way too early in the morning! Hahaha trying to reel in a live fish before checkout....aka client. lol! Got the 300 discount request only from a stranger and I don't have time for that. Stay firm on your prices ladies.
I think it is funny I received a message from a potential client that I was working with a female booker from a customer. She is very well known in escort world on high end and many love her on that review site.. I have no idea how they found out I was and missed out on 2 requests from her because I was busy.
Secret Shelly
01-30-2022, 07:17 AM
Weeww I'm listening to turn up music way too early in the morning! Hahaha trying to reel in a live fish before checkout....aka client. lol! Got the 300 discount request only from a stranger and I don't have time for that. Stay firm on your prices ladies.
customer: your price seems high for here...in Vegas in Chicago it would be about right but kinda high for here.
me: enjoy your trip to Chicago.
Aurora_Sunset
01-30-2022, 07:32 AM
Rapid fire random thoughts:
The last few weeks, I’ve been really wanting to stream on Twitch. I don’t honestly think I’d make any money at it, but I think it would be a lot of fun. I would want to figure out how to hook up my old systems for streaming and focus on playing all my retro games. I bet the equipment to adapt those old ass systems costs a lot of money though. And if I’m gonna throw myself into spending a fair amount of time on something on my days off and late evenings, it should probably be a part-time job for extra money. Ugh
I was job-searching the other night and came across the idea of remote work as a job recruiter. At first, I was like “ugh, sales, I’m over that time in my life,” but then I kept rolling it around in my head like “hmm.”
At the same time, despite being very busy and having multiple responsibilities thrown at me yesterday, I actually left work feeling pretty good because I’m actually starting to develop a lot more personal relationships with my coworkers. I’m not anonymous as I used to be so a lot of people have been stopping to talk to me and make a point to get to know me on a personal level. Having those interactions suddenly makes my days SO much better.
Marina Starr
01-30-2022, 07:45 AM
It's in the low 30s AGAIN here in Florida so I turn I took airfryer in my room and turn that shit on like a regular oven, lmao!
They say 'hoes don't get cold' but not this hoe.
JGB2009
01-30-2022, 09:51 AM
Today is called I need my space.....don't get butt hurt if I don't respond.
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 10:02 AM
This can be SO HUGE in terms of quality of life !
I am working on this currently. I feel like I am completely anonymous at all times . It's something I used to do on purpose with heavy sex work but it is not healthy ongoing. I'm so glad you are making those connections !
I’m not anonymous as I used to be so a lot of people have been stopping to talk to me and make a point to get to know me on a personal level. Having those interactions suddenly makes my days SO much better.
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 10:22 AM
Yes, I feel I'm hit in the face by the challenge lately. Haha.
There are many downsides ALREADY with what I was doing ( weird hit and miss energy in the city I work in + smoking in ALL the clubs ).
I don't want to dance badly enough that I want to LEAVE and live in a city with the "right" non-smoking club .
I don't want to " make a life " out of being a dancer full time.
I wanted to just limit my involvement, dip toe in, and pick up that extra 1k a month ( with minimal time away from home ). I see the " struggle " but feel like I was tricked because the support was taken away. I still don't understand if it's actually " ongoing " lack of support. I am still confused on it.
I guess technically I could get the 1k in other ways ( maybe bartend in this area a couple days a week or something ).
I was just hoping more that is was a weird " blip " or something and not actual issues with the whole thing. It was somewhat also just frustration of not really even having enough shifts worked to see what's even POSSIBLE in this new city . I don't even have a sense of a real average amount since I think I've only worked 14-15 times here. I had a roughly $450 a night average which is fine but it was hard to tell if it would " stick " with so little info and actual shifts to go on.
Maybe this desire will go away too when my vanilla gig brings in *just a little* more. It still feels a little lean. It's not as bad as 2021 but not all the way how it should be either. I think the larger concern for me is that I still get edgy and agitated ( anytime I make less than 3 k in a month ). Trying to have more time and make less was an epic FAIL it seems. I felt like I've never been more unhappy. Maybe I just didn't USE the extra time in the best ways ( instead of digging into a hobby I just felt lost ).
It’s also a challenge to come to grips with quitting cause a dude wants you to vs quitting on your own accord.
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 11:51 AM
I think there is a " crux " issue too ( and as we do we have talked openly about it ) that I just want something else to do 4 days out of the month or so other than be in their way at the house. I also didn't find anything better to do ha. My process just immediately went .... ok ....get some extra $.
I like the time to myself as much probably as the extra cash ( almost ) so there may be some other things to look at too.
It was just nice to ( temporarily ) have an influx of both. I still have that hope he will go back to that magical unicorn dude from last fall haha . I'm not holding my breath on this though obviously.
Genoveve
01-30-2022, 12:49 PM
Maybe this makes me a dick, but if I'm in the far left lane while driving, and I'm already going 20 over the speed limit, if someone zooms up and rides my ass.... I rarely move over for them. Sorry, Karen/Chad, but I'm not gonna switch lanes over and over, slam on my brakes to get behind someone going way slower than me, and delay my trip, because you feel the need to go 90 in a 55 due to your shitty time management skills. My thought is, if they're willing to drive that recklessly with speed already, they can take the extra risk of weaving in and out of traffic themselves.
20 over is already considered "reckless driving" if you're pulled over, and I've been slammed with a $300 ticket and 6 points on my license for that before. There is no reason for anyone to be going faster than that, imo. We're already flying past all the other lanes. If they want to drive like a bat out of wherever, they can go through the effort of going around me. Not gonna take extra time and effort on my part to accommodate them. I know the left lane is for vroom-vroom-ing, but I am ALREADY vroom-vrooming, goddam.
100000%. The right lanes are for slower traffic, and if I'm going 20 over the limit I'm not slower traffic. If someone wants to be a lunatic and drive over 90 mph I do not feel the need to inconvenience myself to accommodate their lunacy, they can deal with it on their own.
JGB2009
01-30-2022, 04:16 PM
I predict I will get rid of you for good in February. I wonder what will end up with you next smh!!!!
AChildOfBoredom
01-30-2022, 06:26 PM
I love those TouchTunes jukeboxes - the ones where you can use an app on your phone, and you don’t actually have to be seen walking up to them. While the don’t have the same selection of music which Spotify has to play just to be obnoxious, they do have the Muppets version of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, and it’s fun to watch others react to it, especially once they realize which version is playing.
Aurora_Sunset
01-30-2022, 07:06 PM
We tried a family restaurant near our gym for breakfast this morning. We decided to get carry-out, which they said we could order from the bar. While we were waiting, we asked if they did mimosas or bloody Marys. They claimed they could do mimosas.
Ya'll...
These were not mimosas. There was no champagne. It was Barefoot chardonnay and OJ. LOL
I might expect that shit if I drove out into the boonies a little. Ugh, it was not good. I wish they would've SAID that was their version of a "mimosa." You can't just make shit up like that!
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 08:12 PM
^ Gross!
I’d have given it back and said No Thanks.
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 08:17 PM
We had this great day today and really great talk.
He thinks he can work through the vibes going on.
I used the “ no stay at home stripper “ line !
Hopefully it’s genuine and not just an attempt to get out of the dog house ( I’m sure he’s desperate to be out ) .
Dancing adventures are a GO again and by proxy I am feeling less trapped and agitated.
Feeling less trapped is going to work out for him I’m thinking as long as it’s real ! This should be a fun adventure for both of us ( working super part time ).
I’ll probably get my libido back too if I’m not feeling constricted.
Dude.... just accept you hit the lotto and relax lol.
carmen_b
01-30-2022, 08:25 PM
I was able to voice my concerns about the “ overly needy “ energy creeping in and asking for some help to mitigate it. The “ not enough “ types of comments need to end. I don’t want a slippery slope of being negative or picky. He said he realized what I was describing and will watch comments .
^ If he can’t fully get a grip on it I’m not going to give it much more time.
He’s a great partner other than those occasional touches of too much neediness.
No one is perfect but I hate " nit picking " when it comes to partnerships.
I know other people can tolerate " picking " type behaviors ( even both people doing it ) but it's a no go for me.
I definitely am having a watchful eye on things ......
indiegirl
01-31-2022, 06:48 AM
I enjoy reading back my posts here like this is my personal diary hahaha
WendiStarr
01-31-2022, 09:18 AM
Anyone else have a dress and lingerie addiction? I've gotten better about not buying every dress and lingerie set that I see and like. This pregnancy has helped prevent that, mostly because I'm huge and I know if I bought either right now, they'd be unlikely to fit once I'm skinny again. I keep looking on Venus, thinking,"Ooh, that's a sexy dress!" or, "That lingerie outfit will look hot on me once I lose the baby weight!"
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-31-2022, 10:45 AM
I love those TouchTunes jukeboxes - the ones where you can use an app on your phone, and you don’t actually have to be seen walking up to them. While the don’t have the same selection of music which Spotify has to play just to be obnoxious, they do have the Muppets version of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, and it’s fun to watch others react to it, especially once they realize which version is playing.
A friend of mine would troll everyone in the bar by using the jukebox app to play "Inna Gadda Da Vida" by Iron Butterfly on repeat, like 4-5 times. Glad I wasn't there lol.
LoveyD
01-31-2022, 07:46 PM
Anyone else have a dress and lingerie addiction? I've gotten better about not buying every dress and lingerie set that I see and like. This pregnancy has helped prevent that, mostly because I'm huge and I know if I bought either right now, they'd be unlikely to fit once I'm skinny again. I keep looking on Venus, thinking,"Ooh, that's a sexy dress!" or, "That lingerie outfit will look hot on me once I lose the baby weight!"
I want to reward myself with a top from Venus once I lose another five lbs. I love Venus! Got cute denim shorts from them, too!
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2022, 07:37 AM
I have to rant about this in private since (with Internet culture) spoiling a movie is a taboo..............................(warning, discussing the last Quentin Tarantino movie)
"Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" sucked so bad. "Jackie Brown" is a far better Tarantino movie if you really want to see him at his best (or "Inglorious Basterds".)
I'm just saying this as someone who was "lucky" enough to know someone who had the misfortune of meeting Charles Manson.
"Once Upon A Time" is currently controversial because of the ongoing public discussions about rape and sexual abuse/spousal abuse.
I just had to let this out......... This movie feels like Tarantino wanted to pull an Ed Gein stunt with skin made of famous women.......
//Just had to vent. Ok back to reality.....
carmen_b
02-01-2022, 10:01 AM
I've been back and forth with this Venus dress for two weeks. I should probably just get it.
My dude got me this $100 gift card but to this place with bras that are $74.
I've never spent that much haha. I wish it was for Fredericks so I could get three cheaper things hahaha.
Anyone else have a dress and lingerie addiction? I've gotten better about not buying every dress and lingerie set that I see and like. This pregnancy has helped prevent that, mostly because I'm huge and I know if I bought either right now, they'd be unlikely to fit once I'm skinny again. I keep looking on Venus, thinking,"Ooh, that's a sexy dress!" or, "That lingerie outfit will look hot on me once I lose the baby weight!"
carmen_b
02-01-2022, 10:14 AM
^ I used the card and got a black lace bra and underwear.
I am loving black so much lately.
I just did my hair bright red again.
I am thinking about that green Venus dress.
carmen_b
02-01-2022, 10:27 AM
In other shopping news I think I will have to be in a location for about 6 days with snow on the ground. :/
I am not sure I have enough pants to make it through this trip.
I need a slimming pant in black to tuck into black boots. Ugh ! I feel so unprepared. I feel like I will just end up crafting something out of yoga gear ( on bottom ) haha until I find the right fit.
I always have liked express pants. I will watch their site for a sale .
I hate weather where I have to wear pants.
I feel like I'm parading in drag.
If you know a good slimming pant for under $50 that is skinny ankle .........
carmen_b
02-01-2022, 11:51 AM
I kind of scored this week and ended up with an empty house today which I love and find SO relaxing.
It's a day I *could* work at the club but then it's like ...... no way ..... this is too luxurious haha.
:)
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2022, 01:23 PM
I kind of scored this week and ended up with an empty house today which I love and find SO relaxing.
It's a day I *could* work at the club but then it's like ...... yeah no way ..... this is too luxurious haha.
:)
Empty house peace is the best.
AChildOfBoredom
02-01-2022, 04:36 PM
Awkward conversation with the kid, thanks to a coworker telling him a joke he didn’t get.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne comes on a boy’s face after he’s turned 12.
Somehow it’s more embarrassing for him to tell the guy he doesn’t get the joke and him explain it rather than act like he gets it then come to me later on because he doesn’t.
carmen_b
02-01-2022, 04:55 PM
^ Ok totally stealing this to tell in the club next week hahaha.
JGB2009
02-01-2022, 07:44 PM
I have a list of things I wanna do but I have no idea if any of it will work out. Life just has me feeling really frustrated. I just need something to go my way for once.
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2022, 09:02 PM
I miss you so bad K. Please let me know you're allright.
Secret Shelly
02-02-2022, 07:31 AM
Winter storm 2022 is starting to hit here...i had my aunt come stay with us during it because she lives out in the country and would have hated for her to get stuck and her power would go out...the only bad thing is it now requires really quiet sex with the door closed lol
LoveyD
02-02-2022, 10:31 AM
^^Stay safe!
I am preparing for a podcast interview I have this evening. Talking about my near-death experience and plugging my book. Hopefully this will drive up book sales. I am open to receiving support from the Universe.