View Full Version : The Random Thoughts Thread...
lurkingtitties
11-11-2022, 12:06 AM
I bet the house liked you too. My bestie just bought a house and has been saying how she feels like the house is glad she’s there. Our other bestie, who has MS, is renting a room from her. After they moved in they were talking with the neighbors and found out that the previous owner had MS too. How crazy is that!
Since the house saw everything go down, I hope it finds ways to punish J in a subtle but powerful house way.
carmen_b
11-11-2022, 08:57 AM
^ Thanks. It's been hard to let go. Probably because I lost my " home base " as well as my partner.
I can set up another one but it takes time.
The " home base " change is anxiety provoking.
If it's that I liked living for " free " ( not really he was a such a time suck it was the opposite ) and profiting $800 from the rental up north per month ..... that is an adjustment I will have to deal with in my mind.
I need to let the luxury go.
I was down to working 30 hours a week ( since May ) J made sure I didn't really fully enjoy that extra time.
If I rent somewhere it will cost more than what I make on that property.
$800 rentals do not exist where I am.
If I live in it I'll be paying the mortgage.
If I " need " free living I could rent a room and will probably not do that but it *is* an option too.
Putting room mates in the home up North is an option too ( that I don't want ha ).
THOUGHTS are welcome . ^^^
Trying to figure out what to do !
EDIT : I think after coming back 24 hours later the best option may be to sell my home up north and put a good amount down on a nicer one. It's probably the most ideal option ( at least currently ) standing out to me.
carmen_b
11-11-2022, 09:35 AM
I honestly should have yelled at him so much more.
Left me behind for dolphin adventure ? I should have freaked out and SCREAMED .
Did make much time for me on the return from that ? Let it out and scream.
Don't say you miss me after we said we are FIGHTING for this relationship knowing it's something I need to hear after a few days of travel ..... cue more screaming.
He said his ex would scream at him and berate him in the evenings and now I see why.
I'm 99% sure at least she probably started out with calm vibes like me.
I don't know .... but I suspect.
carmen_b
11-11-2022, 12:17 PM
I'm trying to go easy on myself and remind myself it was my partial home for 6 months at the start .
Then it was my main home for 2 years.
So with that length of time it can still feel shocking at times at only 33 days out . That was a HUGE length of time to get used to it. It's a short time in comparison that I've been out.
I'm trying to do better today and remind myself not to be in the area within 5 miles of the house.
There is nothing there for me.
There is nothing there in terms on emotional stuff / company / sex ect . !
I'm talking to myself and saying " If you want ANYTHING ..... J is not the place to look . Where else do you want to look ? "
JenniferNorth
11-11-2022, 01:34 PM
^ Don't look back. You're not going that way.
That helps me in bad situations like what you're going through.
carmen_b
11-11-2022, 05:03 PM
^ Thanks.
I’m considering removing him from my “ story “ too when doing a life recap to new people if that makes sense. His behavior of not fighting for us / no therapy .... lacks seriousness. My own story should match.
When I move north maybe I’ll say I had a boyfriend but nothing serious. Or I might not mention him at all.
Phrasing I might use is " I never found the connection I wanted in the desert " . It's vague but true.
carmen_b
11-11-2022, 06:40 PM
I don't know what to think of my therapist at times .
She asked if I had " reached out " ?
I really don't know what she meant.
I assume he is a grown man .
If he changed his mind or wanted to discuss anything he would reach me.
Edit to add : Maybe she was just giving me an option to discuss if I HAD reached out . Maybe she was not saying to actually do so.
It just seems like the whole thing is humiliating enough ......
I told him if he EVER talked about breaking up ( because we *did* discuss it in an " options " list in Aug. ) instead of FIGHTING for us it would be permanent. It wouldn't make sense based on what I said to reach out . She is making me 2nd guess myself !
carmen_b
11-12-2022, 06:37 PM
God damn .....
My mom is here at the AirBnB now and is playing Garth Brooks.
Does this man sing about anything else but passionate love songs ?
Ok ..... I'm replying to some of the guys on the personal site lol.
I get it .... it's time to get back in the rodeo .
Thanks for listening ha.
AChildOfBoredom
11-13-2022, 06:07 AM
Pretty good show yesterday. Aside from what they made from tips, any merchandise they may have sold (typically CD-Rs, but one did have some t-shirts), etc., I put up my livestream setup and a means for viewers to donate to the bands… that netted about $250/per for nine bands, and I don’t know yet how much K’s followers contributed, plus they asked for a $10 donation at the door, some of which will certainly go to the bands, though I don’t know the exact split. For a bunch of teenage garage bands with members at ages between 13 and 17 - most of whom had never played live before - ranging from a cappella to one band which aimed more to be metal, not a bad haul for them at all. It was fun and rewarding to be a part of it. I think my sister’s been influenced by all of this, because she’s voiced an interest in getting involved in a band, and wants an electric guitar - specifically, she’s had her eye on a Stratocaster. Of course she’ll need an amp for it also, maybe pedals in time… she certainly won’t need the stack I use, but we’ll figure out what she gets into and whether she sticks it out before we cross that bridge. Our parents will never go for it… it was no small effort for them to let me learn the violin, so we’ll see… if she doesn’t act like too much of a little dictator for Thanksgiving, I have contacts including a couple pawn shop owners… might even be able to get one with upgraded tuners and pickups at a good deal for her.
What was funny about the whole thing… a good number of people from the scenes I’m involved in came out just to be supportive of the kids and all, help out in any way they could, etc. So you had these inked up punks and metalheads commingled with the hipsters, yuppies, etc. who normally go to that place, and one of K’s acquaintances kept coming over whenever one of them talked to me to ask if everything was alright, completely oblivious to the fact that they were “my people”.
S and her girlfriend decided they were going to make omelettes for everyone this morning. If this is going to become a thing, I really need to build up a tolerance for spicy foods, because those two love to use salsa. They’re not super hot; I’m just a wimp with spicy foods.
WendiStarr
11-13-2022, 06:21 AM
Has anyone ever had a small portable washer and dryer like this? https://a.co/d/3HnT8Fl I'm thinking about buying one for my apartment since using the community laundry room sucks, is inconvenient, and costs the same as going to the laundromat. I don't know why they couldn't at least put a laundry room in the apartment building instead of having to drive out of the apartment complex and go to a separate building to do laundry.
Dreamqueen
11-13-2022, 08:42 AM
Has anyone ever had a small portable washer and dryer like this? https://a.co/d/3HnT8Fl I'm thinking about buying one for my apartment since using the community laundry room sucks, is inconvenient, and costs the same as going to the laundromat. I don't know why they couldn't at least put a laundry room in the apartment building instead of having to drive out of the apartment complex and go to a separate building to do laundry.
I have, but it was a piece of crap.
It stopped working after only a few cycles of wash.
I now use it as a way to prop up my broken fence(wooden slat) in my yard.
Lol
I recently watched a YouTube channel psychic talk about one she had just purchased and liked.
It's a black and decker.
I looked it up on Amazon. Runs about $200.
smeca
11-13-2022, 02:35 PM
Been putting off getting a sports massage for too long for a knot in my back. Tonight i used this shiatsu massager bf got me as a gift ages ago. I just spent half an hour making some strange noises as it was really getting into my sore spots. It's kinda painful kinda good haha. Hoping it's loosened up some problem points!
AChildOfBoredom
11-14-2022, 06:09 AM
Work today, then the studio. We were goofing off as we were waiting for our morning turnout to commence, so someone started playing disco music and we all just started being goofy and dancing to it, and our supervisor walks in on that along with some dude on a suit who turned out to be the corporate VP… the look on his face walking into that was amusing enough, but what really made it a golden moment was when he jumped into the fray and started dancing with us. I’m not inclined to like business suit types, but if you’re going to be one, be like that.
JGB2009
11-14-2022, 06:38 AM
Had lunch with all of my 4 kids yesterday. My oldest daughter was in town so we all met up. I wish we all could see each other more often.
lynn2009
11-14-2022, 08:44 AM
I am never using a menstrual sponge again, they are absolute hell to try to get out.
carmen_b
11-15-2022, 08:31 AM
I was *seriously* thinking about setting aside a chunk tomorrow to meet a man I'd chatted with on the dating site.
BUT ...... I got an offer to play a ghost for a show . I HAVE to get on set and be a ghost. Ha.
indiegirl
11-15-2022, 11:59 AM
I am never using a menstrual sponge again, they are absolute hell to try to get out.
You should try a sea sponge. That’s all I use if I’m working on my period lol
lurkingtitties
11-15-2022, 12:00 PM
I was *seriously* thinking about setting aside a chunk tomorrow to meet a man I'd chatted with on the dating site.
BUT ...... I got an offer to play a ghost for a show . I HAVE to get on set and be a ghost. Ha.
Ummm that's dope!
I have a date tomorrow with a guy from an app and he's been a total gentleman so far! He proposed a meeting after chatting back and forth over the course of one evening. Suggested a pub that's conveniently located for me. And has been very polite with texting. He did initially ask to meet the following day, but I told him I was busy and asked for a day later in the week instead. (I'm not actually busy, but I didn't want to look too available ha) Not sure what will come of it until I meet him in person, but for now it's just so refreshing to interact with a guy who's behaving the way they're supposed to! Haha sadly it's been several years since I came across one of those.
carmen_b
11-15-2022, 02:26 PM
Nice! ^
:)
carmen_b
11-15-2022, 02:55 PM
^ Actually reading yours makes me annoyed. I think I like how the dude got to point to meet quickly.
I think maybe messages have moved in 3-4 days ha .
I had said in my profile I was splitting time in two areas then he asked where I was.
Get to the point ! I’m not looking to paint a map . Ask me out and I’ll make time.
It said “ corporate cfo “ and his gig sounded fancy ha.
LoveyD
11-15-2022, 06:05 PM
I've decided today that I'm going to start a YouTube channel specifically focusing on my near-death experience. Hoping that it will help people who are either facing death, who recently lost somebody, and others who've had a similar experience like I did. Also hoping that it will lead to an increase in book sales. I'm thinking about doing this after the new year.
AChildOfBoredom
11-15-2022, 06:43 PM
My coworkers figured out they could freak the kid out by talking to him about eating ass, and of course once they got the reaction out of him, they were like sharks with the scent of blood in the water. I could intervene, but do I really want to?
Taking the next two days off from work because we’re going to Atlanta for Mercyful Fate. But we’re in the studio again Thursday. Hoping to have all that done Friday.
indiegirl
11-15-2022, 06:56 PM
Part me of wants to hire a therapist purely so I could whine/vent to them and then feel better afterwards. LOLLL
TheBrownFox
11-15-2022, 11:36 PM
I am never using a menstrual sponge again, they are absolute hell to try to get out.
Agreed. Several years ago I had been using those things called Instead cups, and they were an absolutely nightmare to try to remove. "Bearing down" and panting and sweating to try to get it out. I remember I had to go to the ER to get it removed, because I couldn't get it out myself. The hospital staff had never even heard of the product, and I must've been the talk of the ER or something because other hospital staff were coming into my room like "Okay, I've GOT to hear about this!" Lmao. Forceps had to be used to get the damn thing out of me, and I got a $200 hospital bill for it later.
The whole reason I had bought the damn things was that I thought it'd be good for me camming-wise. But no, after that experience I said FUCK THAT, and went back to using pads. I've never liked tampons.
carmen_b
11-16-2022, 09:03 AM
With their training they will turn it and try to get you to take action for change. :)
IT'S not a bad thing !
Therapy is wonderful.
Part me of wants to hire a therapist purely so I could whine/vent to them and then feel better afterwards. LOLLL
carmen_b
11-17-2022, 08:23 AM
I really need to get to my apartment hunting project .
An hour at the gym sounds nice though. Then later in the afternoon I'd love to kill another hour at the beauty school getting a hair wash / style. Lol
We will see how the day pans out .....
AChildOfBoredom
11-17-2022, 01:33 PM
Back’s sore today from sleeping in an awkward position in a car coming back from Atlanta. Glad I took today off, but I wish we’d pushed the studio day back.
WendiStarr
11-17-2022, 06:23 PM
The Invisible Man wasn't another Marvel superhero movie. It was about domestic violence and very triggering. If anyone hasn't seen it already, you've been warned.
LoveyD
11-17-2022, 06:27 PM
My roots are colored and look nice, my toenails are painted, and my face has been exfoliated. I'm already for this weekend's shoot! Yay!
carmen_b
11-17-2022, 11:00 PM
Very trigger heavy !
The Invisible Man wasn't another Marvel superhero movie. It was about domestic violence and very triggering. If anyone hasn't seen it already, you've been warned.
lurkingtitties
11-18-2022, 08:02 AM
My roots are colored and look nice, my toenails are painted, and my face has been exfoliated. I'm already for this weekend's shoot! Yay!
Ahhhh so cool! One of my regrets in life is that I never pursued acting and modeling when I was young. But seeing you and some other posters on here doing photo shoots and acting gigs inspires me!
lurkingtitties
11-18-2022, 08:03 AM
The Invisible Man wasn't another Marvel superhero movie. It was about domestic violence and very triggering. If anyone hasn't seen it already, you've been warned.
Maid is super triggering too.
carmen_b
11-18-2022, 08:29 AM
^ That show really grated my nerves. I talked about it in the netflix thread.
There is just so much wtf in certain parts of it .
kimbe
11-18-2022, 08:52 AM
An early start, I should be back home well before traffic becomes an issue.
Jucie
11-18-2022, 11:52 AM
My roots are colored and look nice, my toenails are painted, and my face has been exfoliated. I'm already for this weekend's shoot! Yay!
Lovely feeling when you’re all set!
I feel ready for the weekend as well, I just have to pay the tanning salon a visit. Shoe-guy tonight.
chanzep
11-18-2022, 12:38 PM
I don't understand how Catfishing is still a thing, I would stop talking to someone if they wouldn't video call me.
Genoveve
11-18-2022, 10:47 PM
I got really lucky because I went by myself to a concert the other night which is a first for me and something I never thought I'd do in a million years but I figured if I saw someone else by themselves that I could buddy up with them (which btw there were a bunch of people by themselves so now I have no qualms about going to concerts solo). Well I arrived early and was like the fifth person in line, the next person who joined the line was a young dude by himself and I started talking to him and at one point I was talking about how I never go to concerts but want to start and want to make sure I see Beyonce.......then he got really serious and was like "Beyonce is my absolute favorite." So then I got really serious and I was like "....Beyonce is MY absolute favorite." So then we bonded and basically talked about Beyonce for 3 hours, afterwards we exchanged info and I'm probably going to end up going to a drag show with him.
Dreamqueen
11-19-2022, 10:55 AM
I never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but....
I HATE this cold weather!
Omg!
WHO am I?
My entire body is achy from it (arthritis). I'm not used to being wrapped up in turtlenecks, sweaters, wool beanies, and socks, and pants.
My hands are freezing but I'm resisting putting on gloves.:biting::biting:
I'm SO used to being naked, or barefoot in a sundress.
This desert is a trip.
It's either hot as balls, or it's cold as ice.
WendiStarr
11-19-2022, 09:31 PM
My new home is right by a lake and I wondered if the lake was going to freeze. It has been snowing all day. I just realized that it's partially frozen. The edges are all frozen. It's so strange because there are still geese and ducks floating out there in the middle, on the water, quacking and honking this late at night.
Aurora_Sunset
11-20-2022, 08:47 AM
If you're a fan of A Christmas Story, the sequel - "A Christmas Story Christmas" - on HBOMax is a must watch! It is exactly what a long-awaited sequel should be. The original actors. Definite callback jokes and parallels, but nothing too in-your-face, and it is still very much its own story that is dedicated to its own moments, jokes, and storyline. There are a few corny moments, but overall, it's funny, heartwarming, and even brought a tear to my eye. I went in expecting to be disappointed like Hocus Pocus 2, but I absolutely loved it! I will be watching it again.
As far as I'm concerned, the 2012 abomination of A Christmas Story 2 never existed, and this is the ONLY true sequel.
LoveyD
11-20-2022, 09:50 AM
Ahhhh so cool! One of my regrets in life is that I never pursued acting and modeling when I was young. But seeing you and some other posters on here doing photo shoots and acting gigs inspires me!
Aw, thank you! You can still do it! My ass is 49 years old and I'm still going. I worked with people this weekend who were my age and older. I mean it helps to start young so that you have the potential of having a lifelong career, but the truth is you can be an actor at any age. The nice thing about acting is that the gigs are not very long-term, so if you're working with an asshole, you won't have yo deal with them long-term. Most of the folks on set are Pleasant and fun to work with. You definitely need some interesting people.
LoveyD
11-20-2022, 09:54 AM
Lovely feeling when you’re all set!
I feel ready for the weekend as well, I just have to pay the tanning salon a visit. Shoe-guy tonight.
I hope it went well! The thing I always loved about dancing or performing in general is that it always forced me to keep myself up, take good care of myself.
kimbe
11-20-2022, 10:05 AM
My partner's daughter stayed at our place since yesterday. How do actually people with kids manage have a sex life..
Aurora_Sunset
11-20-2022, 11:32 AM
I'm trying a new strategy today to slowly chip away at my to-do list. I'm normally the type of person who can't relax properly until everything is done, which backfires when I have an overwhelming list that I find difficult to start. But today I made a list and give myself a timer of 10-20 minutes of "free" time to do whatever, then I tackle one thing on my list. So on and so forth. So far it's going well!
kimbe
11-22-2022, 01:15 AM
Spent close to 5 hours with T's daughter on Sunday practicing posing, I hope I wasn't too hard on her.. She's doing really well, but it always takes time, she needs to ramp up on practice in between our sessions.
smeca
11-22-2022, 02:49 AM
I tend to feel bad if I don't keep up a new thing i start indefinitely, get really good etc. Lately I've realised how many new hobbies I've learned , lost weight, fixed my knees... I don't need to get expert at one thing, I'm OK with and proud of being able to do all these things pretty well. And I'm still having fun so
SnuffleUffleGrass
11-22-2022, 07:11 AM
I'm flattered some homeless woman in Las Vegas tried to come on to my boyfriend while he was there for a working vacation. I told you he is fine lol
whirlerz
11-23-2022, 01:54 AM
I just saw a huge giant possum on my porch, like 60lbs!
It stared at me w/beady eyes then left.
I put some food out.
Dreamqueen
11-23-2022, 09:05 AM
I just saw a huge giant possum on my porch, like 60lbs!
It stared at me w/beady eyes then left.
I put some food out.
Cute.
I saw one next to my front door when I lived in the city.
My apt backed up to a hilly, wooded area.
I'm a city girl and had never seen one.
Was going to pet him, but my building manager informed me that that wouldn't be a good idea.
Lol
kimbe
11-23-2022, 09:34 AM
My partner says I have a lot of energy, I guess it’s mainly a result of the fact that I sleep well almost every night.