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carmen_b
01-19-2023, 01:26 PM
Le Sigh .... it was the cutest hidden speakeasy for dinner.
I had chicken marsala and its was SO good. I seriously might sneak back on my own for more soon lol.

I want to fuck him lol
Just trying to wait a little longer.

Ran the thought by " so if we see each other more in the next couple weeks would you lean more on the exclusive side of the spectrum or open side ? ".

Staci
01-19-2023, 01:59 PM
Ran the thought by " so if we see each other more in the next couple weeks would you lean more on the exclusive side of the spectrum or open side ? ".
What was his response? (you left us hanging LOL)

carmen_b
01-19-2023, 03:13 PM
^ He wants to lean to exclusive ! :)
I phrased it that way as " what side of the spectrum would you like after a bit " just to gauge if I'd have an " N " problem again on my hands lol !

He just seems so sweet.
He has already been talking about what he wants to do / where to go next.

LoveyD
01-19-2023, 06:40 PM
Don't you get pretty great over time pay ?
I've been there. 12 hours is bad and you feel EVERY 15 min. increment after that HARD on those gigs ugh.

We did get paid over time and got everything done so that we wouldn't have to shoot again today. I'm still tired LOL I'm going to sleep well tonight in my car.

I've decided that I'm going to bust a move in early February and move up here.

chanzep
01-19-2023, 09:07 PM
Finally went back to work so tired .

carmen_b
01-19-2023, 09:52 PM
Lovey : More consistent film gigs would be amazing!

yaya_cash
01-20-2023, 01:01 AM
I'm grateful that I am able to take a break to research the BDSM industry, to explore my sexuality and to discover the earning potential to pay my debt and schooling off, as a professional. I don't want my future wealthy husband to find out that I have debt or WAS so financial irresponsible. My research consists of reading an hundred profiles, reviewing price-market and other social presence.

I want to take a couple months to be learned of the market - to be ahead of the competition and trends. As ignorant people get taken advantage of. Smart people are able to position themselves to thrive. I need a new venture to work, for me. I can't rely upon money in the club as an extra income, anymore. And my main job has become so stressful and the income isn't that worth it. I want a career change.

smeca
01-20-2023, 07:36 AM
Got reminded of all the good stuff of intermittent fasting so started again today. Nearly at 19 hours. It's fine but im noticing i have so many little habits in a day when i snack or make a milky coffee. It's more the habit that's hard to break.

carmen_b
01-20-2023, 07:39 AM
^ I typically only eat between 8:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.
Eating late is so hard on bodies . I had a Dr. explain how important the adjustment was.

buttonpop
01-20-2023, 11:52 AM
^I read an article about this guy who carefully logged and tracked every single variable that could impact his sleep, like how much sunlight he got in the morning, blue light at night, meditation or no before bed, bedtimes, etc. The single biggest variable that impacted whether he had a good nights sleep over a bad nights sleep was if he ate within 2 hours of bedtime. Basically if you eat before bed, your sleep quality tanks. I wonder if your body is digesting and can't rest fully or something? idk.

it's hard because I have evening classes and I'm often not hungry for dinner at 4-5pm, but I'm starving when I get home from class at 10:30. I think I need to move up my fasting window and have lunch earlier in the day so I'm hungrier at 4-5.

carmen_b
01-20-2023, 11:55 AM
^ The way the Dr. explained it to me made sense. You " use " your food 20 min. to 6 hours or so after eating.
So you really don't need anything after 6 p.m. if you are going to bed around midnight. That really clicked in for me.
Now that I'm used to doing this I can't stand NOT doing it .
I had a big meal at 8 the other day ( delays a factor in the day ) and ... yuck.

Socially it can get tricky at times if people like to eat at 7 which in that case I just do a half size dinner at 5 and then half size at 7 . I kind of poke at the food / order to take home more than eating it ha.

^ This tip is for post dancer life obviously. Active dancers should be eating things up to like 10p.m. if working until 2a.m. or you'll be miserable .

carmen_b
01-20-2023, 11:58 AM
^ I highly recommend just trying something like 9a.m. breakfast, 12-1 lunch, 5-5:30 dinner .
Then as you are adjusting have a little snack if needed at 7 or 8. A key factor in doing this is that you want to NEVER have the temptation to binge or overeat so getting food into your body early never gets you in that " starving and hitting drive though " thing.

carmen_b
01-20-2023, 12:00 PM
I feel so tired today.
My friend and I got into this really cool event . There might be celebs.
I should be excited not ready to nap lol.
I should focus on picking out an outfit.
I found my stripper rhinestones lol.

We got off our asses and in motion,ha.

buttonpop
01-20-2023, 12:15 PM
I don't eat breakfast and I usually eat my first meal of the day at 12-1, but I just don't get hungry by 4-5 still. I think I need to eat my lunch at like 11-12 so I have more time to get hungry between meals. A snack at 7 or 8 is a good idea though, I have some small keto treats I can bring with me to class. You're totally right about the starving = cravings thing lol.

Another somewhat related random thought: I found these low carb sugar-free keto sour candies that are SO FREAKING GOOD. they're called Shameless Snacks for anyone who wants to try them, they're on Amazon. I swear I've tried every sugar-free candy and they're all gross or "meh" at best, but these are indistinguishable from real sugar candy. I might never eat "real" candy again, even when I'm not eating keto anymore.

Since both my parents are obese and I surely have some genetic markers for obesity, I'm really looking for permanent diet changes for even when I'm not dieting anymore to maintain my weight long-term. So every time I find a new food swap that I can happily sustain for the rest of my life I get super stoked. I also will never use real brown sugar for savory cooking anymore (teriyaki sauces etc) since Swerve 0 calorie brown sugar subsitute has worked perfectly for me in every recipe I've tried.

carmen_b
01-20-2023, 12:22 PM
^ I'd try even a "mini" breakfast even if it's like 10a.m.

When you think in terms of giving your body the food *before* it's screaming for it ...... you'll see it makes the hugest difference in how you feel !

smeca
01-20-2023, 12:46 PM
^reminds me of this dancer who had heard eating late was bad... but still took this advice while working until 6am 0.o

Man 8 years later and there are songs that still remind me of the girls who danced to them, or just a song for each club, or some particular night. It comes on shuffle and I get the flashbacks (mostly good now... the 241 rhino jingle doesn't sting anymore haha)

indiegirl
01-20-2023, 04:47 PM
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnCawIQo9k3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
This had me laughing out loud. Now that's my type of Disney song!

Panthera
01-20-2023, 05:05 PM
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnCawIQo9k3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
This had me laughing out loud. Now that's my type of Disney song!


Ahem...allow me to dedicate that to the shitty January traffic and to Streamate for having a contest these days. Cheers!

JGB2009
01-20-2023, 06:48 PM
Eventually the truth will come out......

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 11:14 AM
Can I run thoughts by about the new man ?
I'm currently feeling so BLEH ...... like maybe I stalled it out doing events the last couple of days.

We had an amazing date last Wed. at the speakeasy. Then we had a little time here 8:30 - 11:15 before i picked up my friend.
He knew I had her staying a few nights and we had the film event Thurs. and Friday.

I threw out some updates yesterday and a " I hope to see you soon " text.

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 11:52 AM
( delete )

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 01:59 PM
The pheromone draw is so strong lol
I’m sure I’ll be fine once I get another dose!
I’ve felt tears coming on last 24 hours haha.

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 02:30 PM
I’m over here doing the math “ well if you count some time chatting prior to meeting it’s been almost a month lol”.
Potential sex math .

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 05:49 PM
* DON'T QUOTE PLEASE *

I touched base with him and he says he is going out for his brothers 40th.
Then mentioned the next time he might have open is Tues.

I've been feeling " meh " for a couple hours trying not to call in reserves.
I feel awful. He has so easily stepped forward and treated me well.
He seemed to have no problem with the exclusive thing.

BUT then today he thinks it's ok to suggest monogamy AND create a 5 day window of no touch at all ?

I regret starting Nikki birth control back up.
It's exaggerating every frustration and messing with my mind.
I paused for three months and felt like I could feel a couple bumps on my skin.
I panicked and restarted it 8 days ago.

I've created a layered " try not to fuck up plan " .
1 . Take a shower and try to calm the fuck down. i've already been to the gym. - DONE
2. Now I'll try to go get some dinner I guess ?
3. Charge vibe up and maybe go to the sexy store for something new even toy wise.

^ I can try ALL this before I either call someone over ( and then feel I have to disclose it to him ) OR send him a poly only offer.
I want to wait at least 24 to think before doing that.
It's a convo I'll have to have though. I can do a no touch three day thing * today * I guess . On a regular basis ...... no.
I really hope to fuck he will not *actually* make me wait 5 days. That is IF he isn't up to something sketchy anyway ( which I'm suspecting now even though he has been nice AF ).

:/

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 06:59 PM
I'm angry at him for not suggesting coming over after this birthday thing....
I need to find something to do.
Where is the guy who drove down right away when he got a whiff that I had a rough day last Monday ? Ugh.

Maybe he's trying to be a gentleman ?
We specifically talked about making sure we were doing dates not just having someone " come over " ....... I dunno.

carmen_b
01-21-2023, 09:17 PM
I invited him after b-day thing.
He said he had to get up at 5 a.m.

I got a text that said " definitely miss you right now " which has calmed me down at least to sleep on this.

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 09:49 AM
I'll have a little chat with him.
I could work with him if he only has a couple days a week for a *bit*.
That is reasonable right ? If this is just crazy peak ski season ( he works in the dispatch office of a large resort ) ..... maybe I can just hold on ? I'll be a regular at the adult store buying out their toy inventory for 2-3 weeks. I'll get the punch card there.

BUT ..... after that ...... would I get a proper honeymoon period where my lover will show up and rail me and sleep next to me a few times a week ?
I guess that is what I am wondering .
All I can do is ask.

Does anyone actually know anyone who does this type of work ?
I don't understand how people can work 10-12 hour days multiple times a week if they are NOT making well over 100k. Maybe he does make that . I have no idea. He seems to do this 5 times a week at least . I don't know much about these types of jobs. It seems like he only had Wed. off last week. Plus .... some people are workaholics allowing their whole identity to be absorbed. I'm in a place where I typically almost always have work hours in the 9-5:30 range. During spring my business get busier and requires small 2-3 day trips out of town but that is currently not even a factor. I'm thinking out loud here.

AvaJade
01-22-2023, 11:05 AM
^ Having a chat with him and asking directly is a good idea. That way if his response isn't in keeping with what you know is going to work for you, you can cut your losses and not waste energy on trying to make it all fit when you possibly aren't compatible (he's managing to annoy you already LOL).

Honestly, I'm speaking as someone who is a chronic overthinker, with the tendency for those thoughts to slip into the obsessive ruminating type - but also as someone who is very well-versed (to my detriment) at cutting things off and remaining single...if you have to do mental and logistical gymnastics just to make it even begin to work it's not worth it, especially so early on. Its draining.

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 11:36 AM
Thanks Ava.
More info is key. I believe it does relate to *peak* season at work .
He has been AMAZING so far other than this. I might consider being patient.
I'd love to be " worked in" schedule wise three times a week and I'm still trying to figure out what that might look like. If he did wrap at 7 p.m. and couldn't even get here until 8 would that be ok with me ( I'm not sure ) ?

Another factor is that I babysit a BIG dog currently.
Packing her up and going to him is difficult. When it's just me and my little guy ( 8 pounds ) going up the mountain to him will be much easier . M has been amazing so far and always drives to me ( but extends open invite if I want to come there ). He has even said he does it for my ease because of the larger dog. He describes where he lives as an apartment so it may not even allow pets. I don't want to get him in trouble with the big dog. Mine I can hide in a coat ha. I babysit her four more days.

I probably do have to admit to myself that seeing someone a couple times a week doesn't really work for me ( monogamously ). If I'm poly with another partner that works just fine. I was just having those " maybe I'm ready for sex next time or within the next couple times " thoughts ..... then that message. :(

charlie61
01-22-2023, 12:05 PM
^ Having a chat with him and asking directly is a good idea. That way if his response isn't in keeping with what you know is going to work for you, you can cut your losses and not waste energy on trying to make it all fit when you possibly aren't compatible (he's managing to annoy you already LOL).

Honestly, I'm speaking as someone who is a chronic overthinker, with the tendency for those thoughts to slip into the obsessive ruminating type - but also as someone who is very well-versed (to my detriment) at cutting things off and remaining single...if you have to do mental and logistical gymnastics just to make it to even begin to work it's not worth it, especially so early on. Its draining.

Yes!!

There's some saying like, if you're feeling confused in a new relationship, then it's not working. Men tend to be pretty straightforward - their actions line up with their intentions. And even the busiest men can make the time for anything that they REALLY want.

So if you just met someone and you're already feeling confused and deprived, then you two aren't on the same wavelength. Retreat. Move on. Save yourself!

I'm a little worried about you, Carmen, just in a caring way, not in a patronizing way. You seem to connect with everyone you go out with, like you're able to get along with anyone who can make dinner plans...and you are immediately looking for that quality-time commitment + potential exclusivity commitment. You move quickly, which isn't a bad thing, but can lead to intense highs and lows. I feel like, if someone isn't pursuing you with equal intensity, you should back away slowly instead of trying to negotiate right away. These people are not on your wavelength and do not seem to be compatible with your needs. The fact that you even have to think about this after only a few dates seems to strongly indicate that this guy isn't the greatest fit for you.

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 12:18 PM
^ No , there have been other dates I don't mention ( if they are a one off ).
I mention here what is worth mentioning. :)

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 12:21 PM
^ This week he might be particularly busy.
Maybe I'll just ease back this week and see how the next few days shake out before having a convo.

I was experiencing frustration because I *assumed* after being with my friend for two days ( and I didn't have a great time on day 2 ) that we would BOTH be feeling that " lets see each other NOW " thing on day #3. It's not really on him that I didn't enjoy my outing that day ( and wanted to make up for it snuggling him ha ).

I have a feeling he will surface and not actually make me wait 5 days.

I always appreciate everyones feedback.
I mean ..... I gave N 4-5 WEEKS of only seeing me once a week ( which I regret ).
Certainly I can give this guy 5 days between dates on occasion if he is super busy. I just don't want it to be *chronic* deprived vibes like you mentioned. I can certainly make my own plans and get out in the city ( do my yoga and volunteering stuff ). I have tickets to an event tonight. He was invited . I'll still go obviously. Today is just an example of what I mean. I bet he got up there at 6:30 a.m. and he can't make a 5:45 event 30 min. away.

buttonpop
01-22-2023, 12:36 PM
When I'm dating someone, I'm just the kind of person who wants to see my lover pretty damn often. I'm just a clingy person, and that's not a bad thing at all. But I spent my late teens/early 20s dating people who had 2-3 other priorities above seeing me. I felt constantly rejected, even though many of them were head over heels for me--their personality just wasn't the clingy type. They were perfectly satisfied seeing their partners less often, but I wasn't satisfied with that.

After *years* of heartbreak I finally realized it was simply an issue of compatibility. I started dating only people who were also clingy like me, and it really helped. My gf and I are attached at the hip and I like it that way.

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 12:38 PM
^ RIGHT ? I run two businesses and have various rental properties in motion.
As of early Jan., I work at an arts non-profit too. I'd probably still be shaking it at the club if I had spare time ( I don't ) , ha.
That's THREE jobs.

I can make time for my lover three times a week almost EVERY week.
The exception would be if I'm traveling for work or to check a property.
They are invited half the time in those cases too !

I consider myself independent because I don't need them 5 times a week !
I have a full solo city life a few days in the week and I give my family an evening a week typically. Ha.
I don't think I'm asking too much. It'll be poly vibes over here if it needs to be.

Like you mentioned with your gf ..... part of what I LOVED about him was not playing waiting games. I think two days after our first date he asked to see me again the next day. Maybe it particularly impressed me after N's pile on constant nonsense. It worked for me.

AChildOfBoredom
01-22-2023, 01:34 PM
I’m taking three songs I decided not to put on the album and releasing them on a split with another band. I’m kinda worried trying to take it all on might be overloading myself, so I’m going to try just three songs and see how that goes. I’ve already started recording this weekend, and I think I understand why Varg, Ankehaten, Shane Rout, et. al. Who recorded as one person bands made their songs as stripped down and simplistic as they did. I might bring in some others to fill in when I do the full length… I already know K is available. Working in some backing vocals I didn’t originally have in those songs just because that girl who agreed to do them for me when I started recording is really eager to get a published release to her name. So I have her, K, L, and another contributing backing vocals. I’d asked my sister, since she has a decent singing voice, but she was on the fence… said it was all a bit too dark for her liking and didn’t like that a lot of the lyrics make references to my own death. The good news is that I have all the rhythm sections and bass lines recorded. Still a lot of work to be done, and I’ll be spending time after work all this week to add to it and hopefully be ready to do drums and vocals next weekend.

JGB2009
01-22-2023, 04:31 PM
The other day someone smelt really really bad at Walmart. I don't know how everyone tolerated it and just stood around. I left and I didn't go back.

LoveyD
01-22-2023, 08:30 PM
I need to buy vitamins and iron.

carmen_b
01-22-2023, 08:55 PM
^ Maybe there is some logic the suggestions.
Being a workaholic is still annoying.
I'm not sure selling your soul to a conglomerate resort is really admirable.

So here's something funny.
When I asked about the " would you prefer the exclusive or open side of the spectrum in a bit " he mentioned his last gf was non-exclusive. He said he didn't see anyone when she was seeing others. It seemed SO weird. Now I am seeing how that whole thing came into play.

How do even bring this conversation up ?
" Uh .... I noticed you work 11-12 hours a day 5 days a week and another day about 8 hours? You seem to have only one day off a week . What is the overall plan with this?"

I came back from the fancy event ( I attended stag ) and I'm like " yep I'm done " .
BUT ..... going to sleep on it and not send nasty things over .

smeca
01-23-2023, 08:41 AM
Just seen this notice about sw closing!!! What!! Noo!

smeca
01-23-2023, 08:54 AM
It's so sudden wth.

I came back after some years and it was the same as I remembered, a great place full of women who can understand each other. And it's an amazing resource of info still.

I've been getting that happy birthday email for so long :'(

I feel lonelier already

LoveyD
01-23-2023, 09:07 AM
Just seen this notice about sw closing!!! What!! Noo!

I know!! So sad. I've been on here
(under different names, hee hee) since my baby stripper days in 2004. This site has been a godsend and I'm sad to see it go.

charlie61
01-23-2023, 09:11 AM
Yeah, i am shocked.

Kind of surprised they aren't offering an option to support the site financially to keep it going.

trustfundkiller
01-23-2023, 09:17 AM
I'm so sad Stripper Web is closing :( this site has been so special to me. Will it at least be archived so we can still access the information?

carmen_b
01-23-2023, 09:18 AM
^ I'm curious .... how much is needed to keep it going ?
Is this just a matter of getting it hosted somewhere and having a designer pop in to check on it ?
Similar thought to you Charlie. It seems like there are enough of us who would throw a $20 ( or more if there is a sense of what's needed ) at it to keep it going for a bit right ?

smeca
01-23-2023, 09:20 AM
^right!

camgirl91
01-23-2023, 09:24 AM
Stripper web is closing. Man. This really sucks. This is where I come for my motivation. Is there no way we can save it?

carmen_b
01-23-2023, 09:24 AM
Here is one option for affordable hosting.
https://www.bluehost.com/pricing

charlie61
01-23-2023, 09:25 AM
I get the sense that it's not just about money. The site requires technical maintenance. I have no information, just speculating.

LoveyD
01-23-2023, 09:27 AM
I'm sad. I don't want to lose touch with you ladies. You all have been so kind and supportive. I feel comfortable socializing with you ladies in a way that I don't feel comfortable socializing with vanilla civilian women. You all get me! This is so not cool. I'm so sad!

camgirl91
01-23-2023, 09:28 AM
@cutie101 … I am going to miss your stay the fuck motivations for real. Will you decide to post elsewhere? Pls let me know. You are such an encouragement for me when it’s slow. You never moan, you just do your hours and the money comes eventually . I admire you so much! I honestly feel so sad this place is closing! I feel sick lol