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Dominic.2
10-27-2015, 10:02 AM
Alas, he has apparently been taken with the Every Good Boy Wants to Fix a Bad Girl syndrome (a cross between 'Every Good Girl Wants a Bad Boy' and 'Captain Save'A'Ho') for over a decade now

Emphasis mine. That part cracks me up.



It started in high school. ... (let's call him Jay) ... heard them all mention I was single again before shouting 'maybe now I'll have a chance!' and acting very excited. ... We didn't talk enough to use up all the fingers on my hands and I figured it was just one of those passing things.


I swear. If a girl smiles and says 'Hi' and is genuinely nice to the wrong socially inept boy, it burns pattern into his skull. Sort of like the impression a 7 wk old puppy might form for you, only creepier.

Issabelle
10-27-2015, 01:45 PM
I swear. If a girl smiles and says 'Hi' and is genuinely nice to the wrong socially inept boy, it burns pattern into his skull. Sort of like the impression a 7 wk old puppy might form for you, only creepier.

Right? Except that to this day I can't figure out when I could have been 'nice' to him. I wasn't kidding when I said teenage me was an asshole. In the interim years, the only thing that's really changed is how refined I've become in my asshole-ness. Head Bitch In Charge, and don't you forget it! I wield sarcasm like a meat tenderizer and, in my teenage years, was still at the point in my 'feminist development' when I was basically a glorified misandrist (I'll admit it--I thought they were all assholes who needed to be jailed, and acted like it), so it's frankly astounding that anyone found me attractive. I also wore a lot of black. Like, concerning amounts of Hot Topic clothing took place.

I'm happy to report I'm semi-reformed now. In the important ways anyhow.

Also--7 week old puppy impression: can confirm. Have had multiple 7 week old puppies do this. Very cute and took less than 30 seconds to occur with impact lasting years. Only creepier: can also confirm. Because yeah.


Issabelle - Horrible! But the movies teach that eventually he'll save a dog or stop the town dam from flooding and you'll turn "good" and realize he was the one all along, and your bad boyfriend Drugs McMurder will crash his Harley into a train. So that's probably where he gets that.

*cackles hysterically and dies* #NeverTurning'Good'

Dominic.2
10-28-2015, 06:37 PM
Hi Issabelle,

It was my mistake leaping to that conclusion and painting the picture with broad strokes instead of using the clues you wrote. So I owe you a small apology there. I don't want anyone to read into and think I am promoting 'victim blaming' (victim -> you; and being nice to the boy -> blaming you). So I want to make that straight. The name 'Captain Save'A'Ho' sounds funny but the actual character is anything but. I didn't want to make light of that.

Like you, I do think the boy fixated on you for no discernable reason. He has a 1-dimensional-imaginary-fantasy-version of you in his head. It is sad that his type probably wants to change you. Us older men realize that women come in all types and should be appreciated for their uniqueness, not compelled to conform. Maybe you are too young to remember this, but I had a date tell me (not while on an actual date, so it doesn't count for this thread) that Lorena Bobbitt was her hero. Let me tell you, I kept a close watch on my penis that day. LOL. Sometimes strong men like a little 'bitchiness' from the SOs.

Issabelle
10-29-2015, 01:03 AM
LOL! No offense taken Dominic. I was just kind of mocking the general idea of this guy imprinting on me because I was 'nice.' I'm a bitch, plain and simple, particularly to anyone who thinks that I need fixing, saving, or (let's be real) subjugation/taming. Every stripper/camgirl will tell you about the Captain Save'A'Ho's she's met and it's sort of a badge of honor. If a man truly believed he was going to tame my ass, I would do a lot worse than Lorena Bobbit. For starters, I wouldn't leave an unblemished piece of penis that could be reattached...

Anyway, time to think of another terrible date story. Hm... Got it!

So, I was in college at the time and ran into a guy from my home town attending the same school. He was attractive, funny, and very nice, so I thought 'what the hell, let's see if I can score this one!' Well, when I ran into him, he was with a buddy (nice guy, totally forget his name, but nice guy) and we all chatted for a bit before going our separate ways. I texted cute guy from high school--Greg, we'll call him--and asked if he'd like to grab breakfast/lunch at the nearby diner on the edge of campus sometime soon. He agreed.

I get to the diner (my absolute fav) and realize that Greg is not alone--he brought his buddy with him! Okay, it's a casual breakfast/lunch thing and I didn't specify that it was a date, but also we all got along well last time. I'm thinking 'maybe it's an ice breaker friend?' and what not. Well, things are friendly and all that, when Greg pops out to use the bathroom for a bit. About three minutes later, my phone buzzes with a text from him that says, no fucking joke--'Hey, sorry to be such a third wheel and bail, but I think you noticed by now how super into you my buddy is and I thought I'd let you guys enjoy the rest of your food alone.'

Well, fuck me. Read that one wrong.

For the record, I went on a few very nice if not terribly memorable dates with his buddy for lack of anything better to do. Greg and I ended up living in the same town again, so it's always a funny laugh when we see each other. I've started to wonder if he isn't a seriously closeted gay man, because he never dates at all and that's just not right for a man whose teeth goddamned twinkle when he smiles and is built like a brick house. He worked as a damned sports caster, news anchor, and recently ran for government and won. Not fair. I swear to you, not fair.

Trem
10-29-2015, 10:35 AM
500 in 10 hrs

Houston is that you?

Aurora_Sunset
10-30-2015, 08:56 AM
Ok, ONE more that came to mind cuz it happened this time of year. I don't know if this counts as a "date," but it was the first night hanging out with a guy who was trying to get with me so, close enough:

I met this guy and his roommate out at a bar a couple years ago and started chatting with them. The roommate straight up looked like the actor who plays Thor, and I made a comment about it, but otherwise spent the rest of the time there talking to the other guy. He invited me to a party down the street and I walked there with him. Once we got there, I realized I had put my purse down at the bar and totally forgot to pick it back up so I needed to head back. The guy agreed to go with me, acting all gentlemanly. We started walking away and I was like "oh, should we let your roommate know?" He EXPLODED into this rant about "oooh sure! You just came to hang out with him! Everybody thinks he's so hot and just wants to screw him. You don't even care about hanging out with me."

Which was so fucking stupid, considering I hadn't spoken to or about his roommate since the first 5 minutes of meeting them, that I just burst out laughing and was like "You're ridiculous. I've been exclusively hanging out with you like all night. Chill out. I was just trying to be polite. He's your roommate. I figured you'd want to let him know your whereabouts."

So we went back to the bar and of course my purse was gone. I had everything in my purse aside from my phone - including my keys, and my roommate was out of town so I had no way to get into my apartment at like 1am. I was freaking out and trying to find someone to call when the guy gets all "You can stay with me tonight. I live right down the street and we can figure out your stuff in the morning. Don't worry about it."

We started walking home and I'm upset - I feel understandably - and was ranting a bit. When I say I had everything in there, I mean EVERYTHING. All my cards, all my IDs, my social security card, cash, all my makeup, my day planner, apartment key, car key, storage unit key... fucking everything. So I was like "God, I can't believe it. How am I going to replace this stuff? And it's the weekend! Jeezus..."

Dude suddenly exploded on me again - "God, you're so high maintenance! Here I am trying to help you and all you can do is bitch. You're not even grateful." Like, wtf dude? I was like "No, trust me, I'm grateful. I'm just stressed and ranting about my problem. I don't think you understand how much of my life was in that purse. It's not just a matter of driver's license and money. Me going on about that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for your help in this moment." He was just like "yeah yeah" and pouted the rest of the way about how "ungrateful" I was.

When we got back to his place, he tried to make a move on me, which I accepted for a minute because I was drunk. But then I came to my senses and stopped it and was like "No, I'm sorry. I don't want to have sex." I've known this guy for less than 2 hours, half of which was spent stressing about a problem. I feel like it's not entirely crazy that I didn't want to just fuck him...

Right after I said that, he was like "Fine," got up, and was like "So do you want me to call you a cab or are you gonna call someone?" I didn't even understand what was happening at first. I was like "....what?" He goes "Do you want me to call you a cab to take you home?" I'm like "I can't GO home, remember?" So he's like "Ok, so you're gonna call someone?" And it finally dawned on me that this guy was kicking me out, at 2am, on a freezing cold night, after telling me I could stay at his place cuz I COULDN'T go home.... because I refused to fuck him. So I started laughing unbelievably, asked what the address was, and marched myself outside where I luckily got ahold of my best friend to come get me.

Then the idiot had the nerve to stick his head out the door, while I'm huddled on the sidewalk, freezing my ass off, and ask if I want to wait inside. At that point, I was so mad, I whipped around and was like "Oh, fuck you, dude. Don't act like you care now. You're kicking me out. Just leave me in peace to wait for my ride, as per your request, and fuck off." He slammed the door and I waited for my ride.

I feel like he's the kind of guy who totally imagines himself to be "such a nice guy," and he's filled with bitter rage over how ungrateful all us bitches are because we won't fuck him for providing basic human kindness and favors. Oh, and we only want to fuck his "hot roommate" - who probably gets more girls in reality because he's not a whiny little douchenut.

Dominic.2
10-30-2015, 10:05 AM
^^^ Yeah, what douchenut doesn't get is that tall, blonde, and handsome (probably) would have checked and not let you leave without your purse. Butterfly effect. See, small things matter, yet the gulf between the two could not be wider.

Nyla19
10-30-2015, 05:32 PM
A guy I started dating didn't tell me for a month that he had a sugar daddy!! And he used to live with him!

DreamsInDigital
11-02-2015, 05:10 PM
Right? Except that to this day I can't figure out when I could have been 'nice' to him.

^I don't even think it matters, I swear that 99% of guys like us more when we're mean to them anyway. :O