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Bambibabe
01-06-2016, 03:46 PM
I'm at work right now so I don't have the time to give a reply (currently). You seem very jaded though, and act as if I am fighting you or something. Which I am not haha, I was actually on your side. I was responding to your "when he becomes my bf" bit, according to the title of the thread.

I have not been treated shitty by men since disclosing what I do. I mean, the ones that take that angle with me I can normally see the red flags. In which case, I take a pass. It's not about finding the knight amongst losers. I don't think we give men enough credit, and this is coming from a previous misandrist (lol seriously). Perhaps we surround ourselves with differently minded people, though.

CFMNH44
01-08-2016, 11:13 AM
Some people can handle knowing their significant other is a sex worker, many can't. Just as there are BDSM friendly people and those that accept open relationships. For now I wouldn't mention it, but if you want it to be long term, then they must be open to it, or at least open to you having that in your 'past'. Nothing different than most people dating and then deciding if 'that person' will be their long term partner. Just harder to find... ;-

Julianapleases
01-08-2016, 03:00 PM
I would say...just wait until you KNOW that you know.

I dated a guy who I have known for a few years before I started escorting. He lived in another city about 2 hours away, and I wasn't sure at the time where things were going, but I decided that it would be better not to tell him. I did actually kind of feel a liiiittle bit bad about keeping it from him. He would have judged me, anyway, so I decided that he wasn't my type and that I shouldn't waste anymore of my free-time hanging with him when I could be making money hanging out with other guys that were just like him. Haha. But, yeah...I feel like you will know when you have the right one who you will want to quit for. There will be no question about it when you find that one. Personally, I would hope that if I ever meet "the one" that he will be supportive of my decision of either working or not, but there are so few people that agree with me on that. My current boyfriend knows what I do, and at one point in our relationship, I could talk to him about anything in the world and about my calls. Escorting has complicated things a bit the more serious that we become, and I used to have a lot more fun on my calls when I was single. People say things like, "any guy that loves you isn't going to want you to sleep with other guys." But that's a whole other argument in itself.

Wait until you KNOW that you know :)

baer45
01-09-2016, 05:12 PM
I could only tell you my experience when I tried to do that. I failed,and it was god damn awful feeling for a long time.

Danny Ocean
01-10-2016, 06:35 AM
FWIW, you are under no legal or moral obligation to disclose your escorting to any guy whether he is a casual fling, serious fling, fiancé, or husband. Period.

IMHO, you would be under a moral obligation to stop escorting when you say "yes" to the guy slipping a nice big rock on your finger while on bended knee. However, that still doesn't mean you need to disclose your escorting activity, which would hopefully be coming to a screeching halt at such point in your life.

Yes, you run the risk that the guy in your life will stumble across some escort board or old ads, but in that instance you have two choices: 1) deny, deny, deny, and claim that you are the victim of an angry ex or 2) come clean and see if the guy you are seeing has big boy pants and can handle the fact that you sleep with men for material gain, which is what all women have been genetically programmed to do ever since the first cave woman looked for a prospective mate who would be able to provide for her and her future offspring.

red.velvet
01-10-2016, 02:07 PM
Some people can handle knowing their significant other is a sex worker, many can't. Just as there are BDSM friendly people and those that accept open relationships. For now I wouldn't mention it, but if you want it to be long term, then they must be open to it, or at least open to you having that in your 'past'. Nothing different than most people dating and then deciding if 'that person' will be their long term partner. Just harder to find... ;-

What I have personally experienced and seen countless times with others, 95%+ of men can't handle being serious with a current or ex-escort. I have lost quality men over this solely for them not wanting to be with someone who was a sexworker even if I offered to retire. Again, I have a day job as my real career, but the sexworker part was a dealbreaker. I do not live in a conservative area and live in a big west coast city.

The men that can't handle it isn't just limited to close-minded or religious men either. It's often VERY high quality men who are passionate and emotionally healthy, who have a strong sense of their own self-worth or self-esteem. They often know they don't want to be involved with a sexworker (past or present) because they know they can find someone who wasn't a sexworker just as easily.

I did my own research and asked around with my guy friends, why they didn't want to be with a sexworker past or present. Most of them basically said that if they knew she had engaged in sexual or sensual acts for money, that they feared she would go back to it or do it behind their back. Its not that they had trust issues at all, they didn't, its that this was an extra added hurdle, and something that did not make them feel good about themselves or confident in the relationship.

Point is: Are most quality men going to be okay with a ex-escort? No. The more of a catch he is, the more he will not be okay with it. A quality man knows he does not have to compromise any parts of his list of qualities he wants in a woman, because the more quality he is, the more options he has with women. Even if you're beautiful, accomplished, and amazing, he can still find that in someone else who wasn't a sexworker.

And does any woman actually WANT her man to be okay with her escorting or having escorted? No.

Tourdefranzia
01-10-2016, 03:43 PM
I'm not purposely trying to keep this a secret. I'm just not trying to tell every man I date that I do it for safety reasons.

If you are discreetly escorting, there is no reason to EVER bring up the fact that you got paid to go on dates. Call your clients a one-night-stand, a booty call, Friends with benefits, a generous lover or whatever ever other phrase you want. Just don't ever mention that you date professionally.

I taken to calling my OTC work "business meetings." ;)

red.velvet
01-10-2016, 04:19 PM
If you are discreetly escorting, there is no reason to EVER bring up the fact that you got paid to go on dates. Call your clients a one-night-stand, a booty call, Friends with benefits, a generous lover or whatever ever other phrase you want. Just don't ever mention that you date professionally.

I taken to calling my OTC work "business meetings." ;)

That's exactly what I have done, but it seems that several people are commenting on this thread about how that is wrong, misleading, lying, or unethical lol

I still fail to see how escorting is any different than being a sugarbaby and meeting up with over 100 men over the years and having sex with them while receiving money. The only difference is a word.

Nikki_Fox
01-11-2016, 09:49 AM
I think the op has enough answers from this thread