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View Full Version : Open Relationships and Polygamy..........



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miss.a.p1600
01-30-2016, 11:47 AM
Love this thread. It's fun talking about scandalous things.

I totally have this don't ask don't tell policy. Just be polite and keep it out of my face and I'll do the same. I wouldn't want to give up my marriage and family life for his indiscretions. Unless he wanted to divorce, that's out of my control.

Think of it like when you get a new credit card and you have to go around to all your amazon account and all and change the card number. Pain in the ass. But on a grand scale. Being married most women have changed their names legally, their drivers license, insurance, etc. And to break up a marriage means #1 having to split time with your babies. Hell no to that first of all. Then you would lose your home of some cases many years. That's a huge devastating upheaval. And for many women their lifestyles would take a step down as well, even if they have their own career. All over some side pussy? Don't think so. So hell yes they turn a blind eye, but there's nothing ignorant about it.

I see what you mean. Not wanting to disrupt yours or your kids life for some random side hoes. It does seem like more people have business arrangement type marriages. Like they don't divorce because of the reasons you stated and not wanting to have to divide assets or deal with the negative aspects of divorce.

However I am wondering if a woman kept the house because she has custody of the kids (or had a prenup saying she keeps the house and car in event of divorce) and she gets alimony so her lifestyle doesn't have to decrease it stays the same. That's what alimony is for so I'm not sure why more women don't get alimony when they divorce.

I didn't mean to offend by using the word ignorant. That was the first phrase that came to mind. My bad.

jekka
01-30-2016, 01:57 PM
Nah I never get offended! I mean they're not ignorant in that they probably have figured out what's going when their husband has a side piece no evidence needed just instinct and noticing slight changes in behavior. My husband is very keen on detecting subtle nuances and he is very astute. I'm pretty sure he would bust me from the jump if I had an affair.

It's harder nowadays to get alimony and depends on the length of the marriage, the state, judges, etc. It's not a sure thing and you have to sue for it. You're usually in for a fight when it comes to alimony as opposed to child support.

CFMNH44
02-10-2016, 07:17 PM
I meant to say this sooner - It's not always the guy that wants to wander or date - my girlfriend is the primary driver of being poly. All her previous relationships ended because she became bored, so she wants to try it as a way to keep excitement.

Omegaphallic
02-14-2016, 12:32 PM
Its no secret that dudes just get wrecked in divorces, way worse then women most of the time. If you divorce a dude in florida and can get alimony, ITS for life!

That man will spend the rest of his life giving you money, and if he starts making more money he has to give you more money, he is your personal ATM for LIFE.

Its caused men to commit suicide.

No wonder increasing amounts of men prefer to go MGTOW or to become Johns instead of marriage.

And that's just the tip of the ice berg and one state. So for a dude, take your concerns about divorce and magnify them by 100 or more. Their is a reason why women start most divorce proceedings even in places like Iran.

miss.a.p1600
02-15-2016, 12:12 PM
^^^I am wondering if dudes that get wrecked in divorces married with no prenup to psychopaths. Also I have a hard time feeling sorry for people who marry indiscriminately. Like dude you're about to merge your life with someone else's supposedly for life so take the time to know what you're getting into. This is what premarital counseling and prenups are for.

The men who deserve to get wrecked in divorce are the ones who disregarded their marriage and disrespected their spouses. Ex. The domestic violence dudes and the cheaters who wreck their families and bring home proof of their infidelities like getting mistresses pregnant or infecting wife with std.

Are you sure about the alimony for life in Florida??? Perhaps if the woman is past retirement age and about to kick the bucket she can't go out into the workforce on a jobhunt she's too old! It's only supposed to help the woman get back on her feet so she's not at an economic disadvantage after divorce. I'm sure if someone were abusing the alimony it could be contested in court.

miss.a.p1600
02-15-2016, 12:18 PM
I meant to say this sooner - It's not always the guy that wants to wander or date - my girlfriend is the primary driver of being poly. All her previous relationships ended because she became bored, so she wants to try it as a way to keep excitement.

I know. I was just saying that it's more accepted by society for men to have more than one partner. In some areas of the world men can have more than one wife. As far as I know there is only one place in Africa I believe where women can have more than one husband.

I was just wondering why more men don't stay true to their non monogamous nature especially when it's more acceptable for them than it is for women. But it seems this thread had given some interesting reasons.

Djoser
02-15-2016, 12:43 PM
I know women cheat but in general, more men cheat than women. Or at least men are just getting caught more often.

I say this because overall society is more accepting of men having multiple women, being studs and players. If they cheat on their girlfriends or wives they are usually forgiven and taken back (especially if they're wealthy/providing financially) where as women are seen as sluts and whores if they're with multiple dudes. If they cheat the dude dumps her and rarely forgives.

There's your answer. As long as women keep lining up for the pimp/studmuffin guys, those guys will keep playing around every chance they get, because it gets them even MORE pussy. Men are conditioned to admire and respect these men, women are conditioned to line up for them and drop their drawers. Christ just look at the fucking music videos, they are full of docile fawning slutty women getting all gooey for the stud musicians. There's a few female artists with the opposite type videos, but not nearly as many--and usually the female singer is shown fawning over yet another studmuffin type instead.

As far as poly versus monogamy goes, the vast majority of those relationships that I've seen are very, very convenient for the men, and that's about all of it. No offense to any of you out there who have actually made it work.

Djoser
02-15-2016, 12:54 PM
I'm so sick to death of people trying to justify why men cheat as " hard wiring" or some other evolutionary bullshit excuse as to why you can't keep it in your pants. Just " man up" and admit you're a selfish Ahole and be done with it..and I've got news for you, older women don't think your big belly, moobs, or bald spot is attractive either and are also " hard wired" to like young tight bodies. Society just gives you a free pass cause " aww boys will be boys! They can't possibly be expected to be held accountable or control urges!!" Bullshit.

I love this. Obviously I believe conditioning has a huge role in relationships, but some people take the 'Boys will be boys.' logic to an extreme. 'I'm sorry dear, I couldn't resist plowing Becky last night...I'm just a herd animal and wired that way.' is not a valid excuse.

And that whole 'Every Body is Beautiful' propaganda wave really is just a crock of shit, especially if we start having to admire all those millions of beer gut guys as part of it. :D

But what is a 'moob'?

luvnrockets
02-15-2016, 01:11 PM
As far as poly versus monogamy goes, the vast majority of those relationships that I've seen are very, very convenient for the men, and that's about all of it. No offense to any of you out there who have actually made it work.

I'm curious to hear where you've seen the poly relationships you've seen. Most of my poly friends are in the kink scene rather than the swingers scene, and place an emphasis on the relationships (no matter how intimate or nonintimate they are) rather than the sex. It comes from a place of sexual maturity and love rather than insecurity.

I've been to swinger parties and know people who organize them, and while I don't want to diss the whole thing, a lot of folks who get into swinging do it because they feel it's a way to save the marriage, spice things up, etc. That can frequently lead to a lot of problems.

On the other hand, the poly folks I know (myself and my husband included) view it more as a sexual orientation. Because really, our sexuality is a lot more than what gender we are attracted to. I believe that some people simply don't have the jealousy factor that strong, and when they do encounter it they process it like any other emotion. I know many poly people that do it right and let their women fuck other men; the thing is that they tend to not waste time looking for people who bring drama and are in another scene and just don't get it. We kinda stick to ourselves when looking for other partners.

Vyanka
02-15-2016, 01:14 PM
Random... If I ever have a son, I'm going to make damn sure he respects women, no matter what...and not toy with their feelings. Some guys make me wonder, "Who dufuq raised you?"....

miss.a.p1600
02-15-2016, 08:17 PM
I love this. Obviously I believe conditioning has a huge role in relationships, but some people take the 'Boys will be boys.' logic to an extreme. 'I'm sorry dear, I couldn't resist plowing Becky last night...I'm just a herd animal and wired that way.' is not a valid excuse.

But what is a 'moob'?

Omg - lol! the thought of 'plowing' Becky is giving me chuckles. And besides "Becky (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Becky)" is supposed to be giving head...not getting plowed lol.

But all jokes aside, kind of....a moob = man boob, what chubby and fat dudes or guys with gynecomastia have

Djoser
02-16-2016, 10:16 PM
Ew now I get it :D

And thanks for clarifying 'Becky'. I just chose a name at random, didn't know about the Plies thing. Wasn't 'Becky' a song about 6 years ago? Was it Plies?

SubSpace666
10-06-2016, 03:39 AM
I have considered myself poly and have started having open relationships as well. (I know polyamory and open relationships are two different things) for at least two years now. I entered one "relationship" telling him I needed it to be open and that I consider myself a polygamist. He ended up getting really attached (it was only a sexual thing, never meant to be a relationship) and he said he was okay with it. Well, he wasnt. and I left him. Now I'm back to pretty much dating my ex bc we both have been friends for about 7 years, so we are comfortable as friends and honest enough that we can see other people and know that those people do not change how we feel about each other at all. I prefer this. We both travel separately and do our own thing and meet up in our home town or take trips to visit each other. I love the space I get and we know we are hooking up with others or even dating other people, but in the end, we are best friends and highly sexual with each other, so that is not going to change. Neither of us want kids or marriage and he is about 17 years older than I. This is working for us. HONESTY WITH ALL FUTURE RELATIONSHIP PARTNERS IS KEY!

fbsmgirl
10-06-2016, 10:14 AM
Why do a large percentage of men, know deep down they can't or won't be monogamous, but they get in committed monogamous relationships only to cheat on their girlfriends/wives???

Why not just be true to themselves and have open relationships or move to utah and marry more than one wife???

It's not their fault. It's what society tells them to do.

Shy2
10-07-2016, 04:05 AM
I was originally in an open relationship with a guy, then he said he wanted to close it, and then cheated on me. He wanted to sleep with other girls but couldn't stand the idea of me sleeping with other guys. Ass