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Busygirl
04-13-2016, 05:27 PM
Just today they shown in the news how a 27 yo teacher had to quit her job cause she was found by her students on adult site(s), she had solo content for sale there, also couple content with her man and cammed solo on a camming site.

Her 12-13 yo pupils/kids found her online on cam, not sure how these young kids managed to access such sites, how they knew where to look up.

She quit right away and school director said the school will file a complaint/ report to the highest teaching authorities that this young teacher wont be allowed to teach ever again.

You guys can imagine her man is affected too at his work & in the community, they interviewed some people from her living place and they all been disgusted of this woman like it was a crime what she and her man did there but yeah, that's how stigma affects people especially in small communities.
Made me cringe just watching the news today.......

Yes Sam is right, u can do soo many other things than cam & yes, ur man is controlling & he'll never change but get worse in time, i speak from my own experience unfortunately, also family experience.
They really never change for the better but for the worse.

What hypocrites. How about suspending those kids from school, or punishing parents for allowing porn in their homes. Just can't get over how taboo sex still is in our society. I would care less what a teacher did with their spare time if he/she was a great teacher and done their job in the classroom. Should be laws against such treatment and shaming.

missmercedes
04-13-2016, 06:17 PM
I'm sorry if I offend but 90% of the responses to threads like these annoy me. In my opinion unless a guy starts dating u as a camgirl and knows about it, it's pretty understandable that he might dislike the idea. calling someone ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING because they aren't comfortable with their partner doing sex work is RIDICULOUS!!! I'm not saying nothing about this relationship is troubling, but respecting ur partner has nothing to do w/ a lack of female empowerment, or being controlled or abused! Regardless of the fact this is OUR JOB, which most of us derive little to no sexual pleasure out of, it's perfectly reasonable for a guy to say he doesn't want his GF to put herself out there sexually. EVERYONE has limits and dealbreakers in relationships and a right to express them. To say she is giving up her bodily autonomy and career for him or encouraging her to do is behind his back, is honestly disgusting to me. Since when is it so wrong to consider ur partners feelings? My bf is super cool with what I do, yet I would NEVER EVER want him to be a male stripper or escort, etc. I'm just not the type of person who can handle "sharing" my partner psychologically. It's not being weak, insecure, manipulative, or any of the words u are putting on him. It's just who I am and I'm certain many of u would feel the same about ur BF/Husband doing sex work. This is just a dealbreaker for him, and if u really wanna put ur heart and soul in camming without his limitations, u should end it. If the relationship means more to u, find a different source of income. Don't go behind his back. Who knows what a vindictive ex would do if he caught u secretly camming? Might try and out u, put u on blast to ur friends/family, etc.

KatM
04-14-2016, 02:16 AM
I see ur point here missmercedes & i agree with u as a principle but the OP was the one who came in here saying she needs help to convince her man to accept her camming in her terms & schedule, it was HER who did not respect his wish not to cam solo but as a couple and on HIS terms.

Yes i can understand respecting ur partner wishes and discussing options together, if i was in a couple i know i'll discuss with my partner about these all and weight in what i value more, camming or my relationship in case he was not agreeing camming, i happen to be single cause i dont want complications, new relationship & camming is too much for me to handle cause u never know what complications comes from this with the new partner, i prefer my work and financial independence over a man in my life for now.

Just for the record, we the camgirls are a special 'type' of women, mostly independent strong characters, it takes some balls to be in the industry, of course we see the signs most people dont see when it comes to control, abuse, etc, we see them all cause we work with men a lot, we know men 'in depth', we are smart enough to figure things out from what somebody posts, women that are not in the business dont have this ability same like we have it, as i said before, they not even aware in what kind of relationship they are with their partners.

These women think 'it's normal' to be treated like they are and sometimes they wake up and realize "wait, this does not feel right".
In my opinion a small percentage of women from all over the world are really treated right in their relationships and are truly independent, financially & in other aspects, in rest women are mistreated by men and they often put up with the abuse because 'it's normal' in their society to be treated like this. They often have no choice but to stay into relationship even they abused verbally, emotionally or even beaten up badly.

In many countries especially eastern culture women dont even have the right to vote, not to talk about the rights western women have, even in western countries it depends a lot where women & their men come from, what background they have, what area they live in and what man/woman they get together with, soo many variables to take into consideration.

Of course camgirls tell these women who come here with this topic to watch for this and that aspect that red flags, is like we are some kind of shrinks u know, kinda qualified from working with several type of men everyday on cam :)
Peace!

KatM
04-14-2016, 04:02 AM
What hypocrites. How about suspending those kids from school, or punishing parents for allowing porn in their homes. Just can't get over how taboo sex still is in our society. I would care less what a teacher did with their spare time if he/she was a great teacher and done their job in the classroom. Should be laws against such treatment and shaming.

No kidding stigma is terrible here in our mostly archaic society & i reckon it's present everywhere, more or less, it depends a lot on what u have to protect (kids, career, parents, family, etc). When they find out somebody is doing any sexual activity like camming, bf revenge uploading nude pics on the internet of his ex or the opposite, ex female doing it to her ex or any other thing that involves sex then a big scandal rise up, careers are destroyed, people have to move out and go to places where they not known, etc etc.

The televisions are the worst cause they show only the 'dirty' point of view, they interview old people (ladies & men) with no education that start to make the cross sign and comment "ohh, i never knew she was capable of such a dirty thing, ewww, she was a nice girl, polite and nice, i could never believe she did that, it's the devil work bla bla bla". They never interview people who could defend the 'guilty girl' but always simple people w.o education, it's all about manipulation & intoxication with the televisions, they only care about scandals and rating not about telling the truth oe being fair. Disgusting indeed.

Sex work here is treated worse than a crime u know, in a crime case the deceased is dead and the criminal goes to jail, end of story for the involved parts but when it comes to sex work/ camming/ sex scandals the shame is affecting people lives and careers a lot cause these people need to live between the ones that judges on them and talk about them all the time, it's just impossible to continue to have a normal life after u outed, u need to move away fromt he people who know u or ignore-fight them which is not always easy if u fired and loose ur job and nobody wanna hire u cause of the scandal. Sad but true.

PixiieGirl
04-14-2016, 04:46 AM
I'm sorry if I offend but 90% of the responses to threads like these annoy me. In my opinion unless a guy starts dating u as a camgirl and knows about it, it's pretty understandable that he might dislike the idea. calling someone ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING because they aren't comfortable with their partner doing sex work is RIDICULOUS!!! I'm not saying nothing about this relationship is troubling, but respecting ur partner has nothing to do w/ a lack of female empowerment, or being controlled or abused! Regardless of the fact this is OUR JOB, which most of us derive little to no sexual pleasure out of, it's perfectly reasonable for a guy to say he doesn't want his GF to put herself out there sexually. EVERYONE has limits and dealbreakers in relationships and a right to express them. To say she is giving up her bodily autonomy and career for him or encouraging her to do is behind his back, is honestly disgusting to me. Since when is it so wrong to consider ur partners feelings? My bf is super cool with what I do, yet I would NEVER EVER want him to be a male stripper or escort, etc. I'm just not the type of person who can handle "sharing" my partner psychologically. It's not being weak, insecure, manipulative, or any of the words u are putting on him. It's just who I am and I'm certain many of u would feel the same about ur BF/Husband doing sex work. This is just a dealbreaker for him, and if u really wanna put ur heart and soul in camming without his limitations, u should end it. If the relationship means more to u, find a different source of income. Don't go behind his back. Who knows what a vindictive ex would do if he caught u secretly camming? Might try and out u, put u on blast to ur friends/family, etc.
I just think theres a difference between "I would feel really uncomfortable about that because -list reasons and discuss them-" and "no youre not allowed" or "you can only do that with me" like if he didn't want her out there being sexually available he wouldn't want her to cam at all, it's a bit weird it's only ok with he's involved
but then I guess my relationship is weird in itself, we dont get jealous and have had threesomes etc so jealousy isn't an issue for us ahaha. I do agree she should not go behind his back though, thats not on like. That being said from the info given I wouldn't say he's abusive out and out, it sounds like OP needs to sit down, and have a long conversation with him about it, and if he doesn't budge then decide whats more important, camming or the boyfriend

whirlerz
04-14-2016, 05:59 AM
Ok, but..where's the OP?

SweetJulia
04-14-2016, 06:29 AM
OP tell him the only way you'll make lots of money working THAT few hours is escorting. See how well that goes over.

KatM
04-14-2016, 07:28 AM
Ok, but..where's the OP?

Dont want to speculate but i think for the OP all the messages we posted up here are a huge wake up call, for him too eventually if she shows him to read this thread. Wake up call most probably, she dont feel like posting anymore.

ggminx
04-14-2016, 11:49 AM
I think there's a huge difference between a deal breaker and 'you can do this, but only if you do this, this, and this with me.' A deal breaker is a deal breaker. If he doesn't want her on cam because he isn't one to share his woman, that's completely different from giving her a list of rules/conditions/whatever you want to call them, that she must comply with.

I don't agree with her sneaking behind his back to cam. Lies are one way to rip the foundation of a relationship to shreds. Hell, she's never cammed before and has no idea if she'll do well or completely hate it. If she does it behind his back and hates it, chances are good that it will come back to bite her in the ass if she decides to stay in the relationship.

I think the smarter route is for her to do something else online. There are sooooooooooo many other ways to make money. If OP really wants to do adult industry shit, she could still do fetish clips on all those clip sites. You can do that shit non-nude or be a PSO. I have a girlfriend that does foot clips on the side. She doesn't cam or anything like that. She's a writer and likes to diversify her income online. Her BF thinks it's fucking awesome even though he'd probably hate it if she were to cam and do all sorts of sexual stuff live. There are many other things you can do to earn money online, OP, adult industry or not. She can choose to stay with him and not cam and earn money online other ways. That's her choice.

Us cam girls are very, very independent. We don't want to hit glass ceilings, walls, closed doors, closed minds, or any barrier whatsoever. We enjoy complete autonomy and most of us know that we would never tolerate someone to stifle our ability to earn a damned good income however we want. When we do find out we are with someone like that, we are quick to give them the boot. We have severely low tolerance for bullshit.

What I see for the girls that keep posting threads like this is that they are the ones that hit mid-life and leave because they never got to do this or that and they have to do it on their own because they devoted their whole life to their partner/family/what have you. I hear about those divorces all the time.

When I told my husband that I wanted to cam, first I made sure it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if he wanted to cam...not with me, but if he wanted to solo. I'm totally okay with that. I think it would be awesome if he did. After having been married 5 years and telling him about the camming idea, what would I have done if he said no? Hmmm...I didn't know if I'd be successful. But I also would've asked him to come up with better alternatives for the amount of income possible with camming considering we were in such dire straights with our failing business. We had a lot on the line. A team of employees that counted on us for salaries to support their families. Our own family. Investors. He was smart. He saw camming as a way to get ourselves out of the hole and he's done everything in his power to help me increase my income in any way possible. A couple years later and the hubs is so glad that I finally found something I enjoy. I've always wanted something very lucrative that was work from home and now I have it. I told him that I'd do it until I'm 90 if I could and he thought that was awesome!

OP is in a very different situation. Her BF supports her. There are no dire situations. She simply wants to cam and wants to have financial independence. I have no idea how my hubs would've felt about that if it wasn't a need, even though he loves that I cam now...not that he was hesitant when I started either...he fucking loved the idea when I told him that I wanted to do it. He respects me for being the type of woman to do what needs to get done and not to let anything get in my way. That's the type of man he is too. Anything else in a partner is unacceptable and weak to me, and I wouldn't ever be with someone weak.

Regardless, my original opinion still stands, she's in a D/s relationship and that's based on how she presented her "adorable boyfriend" to us.

BluJ
04-14-2016, 05:36 PM
Also, getting a separate SECRET savings account in your own name is something EVERY woman should do, be they single or in a crappy relationship or even happily married, for emergencies. Toss $5 or $15 in one month or $1500 the next, it all adds up. There is nothing wrong with having little pockets of back-up to get you through whatever life brings.

Busygirl
04-14-2016, 06:47 PM
Also, getting a separate SECRET savings account in your own name is something EVERY woman should do, be they single or in a crappy relationship or even happily married, for emergencies. Toss $5 or $15 in one month or $1500 the next, it all adds up. There is nothing wrong with having little pockets of back-up to get you through whatever life brings.

Can't really hide income, when doing joint taxes while married, just saying.. for the future

LilLadyLux
04-14-2016, 07:02 PM
What captured me in OP's post is the language she uses. "He allows me", "he lets me" etc. If she just posted about his discomfort, and asked can she make him more comfortable my response would be very different. I think the situation is easy to see if you 'read between the lines'.

Should she cam behind his back? Maybe, if she can't leave him now because she is so financially dependent them yes, she should absolutely start camping and have the money deposited into a secret account until she had enough to walk away without being homeless.

Cam_Model_Jess
04-14-2016, 10:31 PM
So here's the thing: If YOU run your cam room, guys will be less-likely to abuse you & treat you poorly than if he is running the room. I've seen so many couples fail because of this. If men wanted to interact with other men, they'd go to a man's room. They don't want to watch you get pimped out by your boyfriend... Unless they DO... In which case you'll be in exactly the situation your boyfriens claims he doesn't want for you.

I'm not going to speak to the nature of your relationship because I honestly do understand it. Not endorsing it, just saying I get it. But this kind of model is just going to backfire on you. Your boyfriend is going to get mad & treat the customers poorly & then you're not going to make money.

That's just the plain, simple truth.

Cam_Model_Jess
04-14-2016, 10:34 PM
I lied. I am going to speak to one thing: resentment. It's a sneaky, steadily-building thing. It will invade every corner of a relationship. If your boyfriend is standing in the way of something you really want & standing in the way of you feeling fulfilled, it will turn into a resentment.

Heather7679
04-15-2016, 07:36 AM
Adorable my ass.

hyori
04-15-2016, 09:06 AM
I'm sorry if I offend but 90% of the responses to threads like these annoy me. In my opinion unless a guy starts dating u as a camgirl and knows about it, it's pretty understandable that he might dislike the idea. calling someone ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING because they aren't comfortable with their partner doing sex work is RIDICULOUS!!! I'm not saying nothing about this relationship is troubling, but respecting ur partner has nothing to do w/ a lack of female empowerment, or being controlled or abused! Regardless of the fact this is OUR JOB, which most of us derive little to no sexual pleasure out of, it's perfectly reasonable for a guy to say he doesn't want his GF to put herself out there sexually. EVERYONE has limits and dealbreakers in relationships and a right to express them. To say she is giving up her bodily autonomy and career for him or encouraging her to do is behind his back, is honestly disgusting to me. Since when is it so wrong to consider ur partners feelings? My bf is super cool with what I do, yet I would NEVER EVER want him to be a male stripper or escort, etc. I'm just not the type of person who can handle "sharing" my partner psychologically. It's not being weak, insecure, manipulative, or any of the words u are putting on him. It's just who I am and I'm certain many of u would feel the same about ur BF/Husband doing sex work. This is just a dealbreaker for him, and if u really wanna put ur heart and soul in camming without his limitations, u should end it. If the relationship means more to u, find a different source of income. Don't go behind his back. Who knows what a vindictive ex would do if he caught u secretly camming? Might try and out u, put u on blast to ur friends/family, etc.

In other cases, yes, communication with the partner would work to rectify the disagreement but, in this case, ("asking" her adorable boyfriend for permission to fix their current financial issues), he outright refused any compromise to let her cam on her own with her own account. She would only be allowed to cam with him on his terms during his available times. That is simply NOT FAIR because he essentially has complete control over her earnings and her ability to take care of herself.

Even the homeless have the choice to make money. Any man that takes away your ability to provide for yourself is a control freak and bad news.

SimoneGray
04-15-2016, 12:38 PM
It seems that the OP is no longer around so I doubt any of this advice is getting to her. However, its a good thread to keep going as I'm sure many a newbie who has similar questions will find value in all of this.

laurielegs
05-15-2016, 01:40 PM
Dahlia I saw your recent post here:

https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?193150-The-last-time-I-cammed-this-happened/page10

and I hope you are seeing the advice posted there for you. There are ladies here who have been through what you are experiencing and not only survived but thrived.

CatieCurve
05-15-2016, 02:05 PM
let him do it for the first week. Bet you when he realises the work involved he won't be so interested. Tell him if he wants to work with you then you have to register as a performing couple and that means if someone wants him hard he needs to deliver the goods. After a hard day at work I bet he will realise it's not all fun and games lol.

Magical_Hoohah
05-15-2016, 03:25 PM
For the ladies that wanted an update on the OP, please do check out the post Laurie mentioned (https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?193150-The-last-time-I-cammed-this-happened/page10 #228 ). I don't want to quote what the OP wrote unless she wants it here, but it seems that the shit hit the fan really hard.

Dahlia, I'm so sorry about what he did to you, it's horrible and there's absolutely no excuse for it. I'm also appalled that custies saw what was going on and kept watching. A tiny piece of me that still believes in the good of humanity hopes that at least one of them stayed because he wanted to make sure that the situation didn't get any worse.
I don't really have any good advice, but I hope you can get out soon, especially since that post is several days old. Please come back and let us know what's going on and if you're safe.

TheBrownFox
05-15-2016, 08:12 PM
I just saw the post too, and that is horrible. I really hope she was able to get away from that guy, and that she comes back here soon with an update.

Chellyinparadise
05-15-2016, 09:58 PM
I agree i hope shes ok. It is awful going through that i hope shes safe now.

laurielegs
05-21-2016, 07:58 PM
Dahlia, please update us if you can!

I hope you have found a way to get yourself to safety.

whirlerz
05-21-2016, 09:20 PM
For the ladies that wanted an update on the OP, please do check out the post Laurie mentioned (https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?193150-The-last-time-I-cammed-this-happened/page10 #228 ). I don't want to quote what the OP wrote unless she wants it here, but it seems that the shit hit the fan really hard.

Dahlia, I'm so sorry about what he did to you, it's horrible and there's absolutely no excuse for it. I'm also appalled that custies saw what was going on and kept watching. A tiny piece of me that still believes in the good of humanity hopes that at least one of them stayed because he wanted to make sure that the situation didn't get any worse.
I don't really have any good advice, but I hope you can get out soon, especially since that post is several days old. Please come back and let us know what's going on and if you're safe.

I clicked the thread butjust couldn't read thru it..I hope she's ok too