View Full Version : why does everyone hate "extras" girls?
Mishi
10-07-2016, 04:47 AM
I know a good anger management group in Los Angeles. If you want I will send the name and address to you in a private message
Mishi
10-07-2016, 04:59 AM
I have said it in many posts but I will say it again. There is no such place as a NO EXTRAS CLUB. It might be limited to the guy jerking off but something is always available at the VIP. It is always a question of price. Every human being has their price. I would fuck a chimpanzee for $10 million. That's my price for chimpanzees-lol. I worked in Atlanta at a club that was considered the highest level. Like Newt Gingrich came in. The governor etc. no extras allowed etc. etc. blah blah. The prices were outrageous. The 19-year-old guy who came into the club with $50 and left saying you there is no sex at that place just did not have enough money. We are all human beings. I know what I do for a living I don't look down on anybody. The holier than thou people use that attitude as a way to justify their own questioning of themselves. Everybody's got to have some sort of defense mechanism.
In the words of the Beatles no less –
"whatever gets you through the night, it's all right, it's already."
And
"everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey."
(I thank my grandfather for those lines)
you may be clean as a whistle but don't think that your club is also clean as a whistle
jasmine22
10-07-2016, 05:37 AM
Why would u start a thread like that in the first place? Why does it matter what other people think, do whatever you want lol
miss.a.p1600
10-07-2016, 05:54 AM
Because it makes it hard to argue with a civilian and it reinforces their idea that strippers arent exotic dancers, they are prostitutes.
Dee_Baker
10-07-2016, 05:56 AM
Well it brings the value of the club down and it affects the money of the clean strippers. If you wanna prostitute go out on the corner! Hell hooking in the club you make a lot less money. Most girls start doing extras because their hustle game as a stripper isn't right. If you sharpen up on your mouth game you wouldn't even have to do extras. Ladies don't get discouraged because extra girls are ruining the clubs. There are plenty of clubs where you can still make good money despite the extra women. Like I said you wanna prostitute it's better to do it outside the club. You make more money anyways. Besides that's why it's called a strip club not hooker club.
angely
10-07-2016, 06:02 AM
Girl, you need to start developing your hustle then. I mention those professions because of your original statements. All of sex work is hard and it sounds like in the past that you did not have any hustle when it came to sex work.Plus, fuckboys are rampant all over the sex industry. That is why you develop several different hustles in order to get that money. Good luck :)
i said i made money which means my hustle is okay, right? nonetheless it's not really relevant. i just didn't like online stuff and didn't think it was for me. personal opinion. when i was escorting/sugaring i dealt with literal tramatic experiences. i made money but feel now, i need to get away from it until i'm ready again. talking about my past experiences in sex work in detail isn't really relevant to the topic at hand either.
angely
10-07-2016, 06:13 AM
I am certain that my reply is going to be met with anger but hopefully everyone will give serious thought to what I have to say prior to getting all steamed up. There will be disagreement and there are always exceptions to any generalization but here I go.
Everything that has been posted is pretty on the mark. When one or two girls get known for giving extras it brings the entire club down a notch and puts pressure on the other dancers to follow suit. But right now let me add that every guy who takes me to the VIP room expects extras. I have never ever had a guy not hint at what else I have to offer. Every one of them. And it is my decision how to handle it. Now the kicker – I believe every girl is different and every client is different. Some girls who are not as attractive as others feel they need to offer extras in order to compete. While I am certain that some dancers actually believe that, those girls start with insecurity. A 19-year-old girl with self-esteem problems should not be a dancer. But who am I to judge anyone or think I have enough knowledge to direct their life or chosen profession. I have often said that everyone has their price. All clean girls also have their price no matter what they say. Would I give a blow job to a random guy for $400? No way! What about a dropdead gorgeous guy for $500? – Maybe.
What about a horse for $1 million? I'm not going to answer that one because that might set off hate mail. (An ugly horse? lmao). I am certain you understand where I'm coming from. I am attractive enough to make decent money without providing all kinds of extras. On the other hand, I am not so attractive that I could work at a very high end club and compete with girls who are dropdead gorgeous. In big cities there are enough clubs around to make a decision where you want to work, can you fit in would you gain a reputation that brings the club down etc. and your fellow workers disliking you. The bottom line is you must find an environment that works for you. Not everyone hates girls who provide sexual favors. So you must decide your own limits and match them with your income needs, the specific reputation of a given club and the type of work environment you will feel most comfortable.
All of the above is very difficult to soak in as a newbie. Believe it or not there are places where girls are expected to give a blow job to a guy for $20. As I said and I repeat everybody has their price. You don't have to give extras no matter where you work. So you cannot say that girls who give extras are hated everywhere. Girls who give blow jobs for $20 are hated everywhere except at those clubs where that's the going rate. You must learn to "fit in," how to fit in, what are your limits, what is your price and what you are willing to do in order to fit in. I will not accept anyone saying that there are clubs where absolutely no sexual favors are given. The only time a girl is aided is when she provides those favors at a price that is not accepted at that particular club. You don't have to give sexual favors at all if you don't want to but don't believe that indeed nothing occurs in their VIP room.
thank you for the interesting insight!!! this is kind of where i was going with my original post. what if you're working in a club where that's simply the norm and how things work? what if someone offers a price that works for me? ( of course doing the deed outside of the club being discreet blahblah etc.)
angely
10-07-2016, 06:16 AM
My addition to this thread is in regard to location. Of all the cities where I have worked, Miami is close to the bottom of desirability. I do not know how it was before Jimmy Carter invited all the criminals to come in but I know now that the present situation in Miami is horrible. I think that is about 1980 way before I was born. Miami is a disgusting macho Hispanic attitude environment that is horrible it is just so low class that I believe it to be a breeding ground for disgusting socioeconomic misogyny. It exists in the husband and wife environment so certainly it exists at the adult entertainment world. The only place worse is Tampa Florida which is so low class that is just accepted as real, reality.
South Florida in general is not a nice place and I urge you to consider moving if you choose to be in the adult entertainment industry. It may influence your entire attitude about living. Life is great, wonderful and full of excitement. Do not let your location drag you down
i moved down here for school and i refuse to drop out and plant myself somewhere random because the clubs here aren't desirable. when i start stripping i'll start a thread and update u guys on how everything goes! i'm still confident i could do well.
cassie22
10-07-2016, 06:21 AM
Got friends who are prostitutes, no problem with that. Strippers who do extras are competing on an unfair playing ground. It makes it hard for girls who only want to strip to make a living. It would be like a normal waitress getting extra money by giving lap dances. It's not fair
Exactly
But I know a few girls who do extras and I still make better money than them...it's like they don't realize money isn't all about giving handjobs but about giving a sense of intimacy by so they'll keep coming back as a regular...and a regular who spends a lot on you!!
Flodawg
10-07-2016, 06:27 AM
Another, slightly different, perspective is one that I have experienced firsthand-- safety. Club regulars get used to the extras and start to expect it from all girls. Then they see a new girl and assume she will also do those extras, so they take her to a room and either get super upset when girl is clean, or just flat-out try to force the extras upon her. It's a fucking awful situation to have to deal with a pissed off regular (or even just a random who "heard" about the way things are in that club) who's twice your size, in a room with shitty security, as he tries to barrel through your boundaries like a bull in a china shop because he's gotten away with it from other girls in the past.
I wish prostitution and brothels were legal and regulated here. It would solve so, so many issues. Let the sex workers do their thang in a clean, safe environment away from the stripclub, and let the strippers be strippers!
Mishi
10-07-2016, 06:31 AM
In no way was I putting you down because you live in Miami. And I might add in no way can you not make it in Miami if you use your brain. Of course stay in Miami school is the most important thing. Good luck to you. I will be interested in following how you are doing
Mishi
10-07-2016, 06:36 AM
I have posted a similar reply in the escort area and that is----most guys want a psychologist to talk to that's pretty an attractive. If you will listen to a guy and talk to him with a caring attitude perhaps even giving him your perspective on his ex-wife or his current wife etc. you've got him hooked. You are giving them extras but those extras have nothing to do with sex they have to do with your ability to care whether real or not
DonaDiabla
10-07-2016, 06:37 AM
Girl, please! If your hustle was great then you would have not complained about being your past experiences, right? I was responding to your statements about my advice. By the way, you brought up your experiences.... not me! I was just suggesting things that you could do,,,,since you were asking about doing extras in the strip club, right? As far as relevance of this thread, you asked a question about why people do not like extra girls. Then you get offended that I suggest that you do something else in the adult industry. Now, you see why a lot of people were getting testy with you at first. :)
i said i made money which means my hustle is okay, right? nonetheless it's not really relevant. i just didn't like online stuff and didn't think it was for me. personal opinion. talking about my past experiences in sex work in detail isn't really relevant to the topic at hand either.
Aurora_Sunset
10-07-2016, 06:49 AM
I would just like to post a reminder that it doesn't matter how long you've been here: 2 days or 2 decades, rude posting, name calling, and/or disruptive arguing is not allowed. Senior members do not reserve a right to be overly rude - and newer members should have JUST read the rules when signing up, so there is no excuse for combative behavior. Nobody has to respond to what they consider mean-spirited comments, or even to a thread. Report the post if you find it overly offensive, put the person on ignore, click away, or cool down and have a civil conversation about it - which I'm happy to see is what eventually happened.
So, all that being said, it looks like everyone sorted themselves out, and I thank the posters who took a step back and were able to hash out their differences. I'll leave the thread open for now since it has gotten back on track.
angely
10-07-2016, 06:53 AM
Girl, please! If your hustle was great then you would have not complained about being your past experiences, right? I was responding to your statements about my advice. By the way, you brought up your experiences.... not me! I was just suggesting things that you could do,,,,since you were asking about doing extras in the strip club, right? As far as relevance of this thread, you asked a question about why people do not like extra girls. Then you get offended that I suggest that you do something else in the adult industry. Now, you see why a lot of people were getting testy with you at first. :)
whats up with everyone saying im offended!? lol i'm not. just responding and clearing up an assumption made about me. no need to be condescending. yes i brought it up (in order to explain to you why those certain professions wouldn't work for me right now) i'm sure there are women who are perfect at hustling who still have to stop sex work. being a good hustler doesn't stop potentially abusive clients,
personal problems, stalkers etc. there's way more than that. anyway i just didnt really want to carry on about it. i understand you're point and appreciate the advice/concern!
angely
10-07-2016, 07:25 AM
In no way was I putting you down because you live in Miami. And I might add in no way can you not make it in Miami if you use your brain. Of course stay in Miami school is the most important thing. Good luck to you. I will be interested in following how you are doing
oh i didn't think you were! :) if tampa is the only worse place that can maybe explain some of my past experiences omg (i moved here from that area) . some girls have the ability to go where money is better & others don't so it's not like a unreasonable suggestion especially since i didn't say on this particular thread (i think??) i was a student. if i could get up and go to a poppin area i would lol.
angely
10-07-2016, 07:30 AM
Another, slightly different, perspective is one that I have experienced firsthand-- safety. Club regulars get used to the extras and start to expect it from all girls. Then they see a new girl and assume she will also do those extras, so they take her to a room and either get super upset when girl is clean, or just flat-out try to force the extras upon her. It's a fucking awful situation to have to deal with a pissed off regular (or even just a random who "heard" about the way things are in that club) who's twice your size, in a room with shitty security, as he tries to barrel through your boundaries like a bull in a china shop because he's gotten away with it from other girls in the past.
I wish prostitution and brothels were legal and regulated here. It would solve so, so many issues. Let the sex workers do their thang in a clean, safe environment away from the stripclub, and let the strippers be strippers!
another reason why working at a extras heavy club will be a nono for me. that's also so scary :(
i agree. what's the reason for having prostitution illegal again..? it's not stopping human/children trafficking. it's not fair for honest women and consensual people wanting to do a simple trade. to me: it's the exact same thing as literally ANY service. whats the difference between a burly man who gets paid to move bricks around with his body (no shade to construction workers!!!) and a women using her body (& charisma!!) to make some dough. such a sexist society we live in :/
We had a rabbit like you
10-07-2016, 08:05 AM
Another, slightly different, perspective is one that I have experienced firsthand-- safety. Club regulars get used to the extras and start to expect it from all girls. Then they see a new girl and assume she will also do those extras, so they take her to a room and either get super upset when girl is clean, or just flat-out try to force the extras upon her. It's a fucking awful situation to have to deal with a pissed off regular (or even just a random who "heard" about the way things are in that club) who's twice your size, in a room with shitty security, as he tries to barrel through your boundaries like a bull in a china shop because he's gotten away with it from other girls in the past.
I wish prostitution and brothels were legal and regulated here. It would solve so, so many issues. Let the sex workers do their thang in a clean, safe environment away from the stripclub, and let the strippers be strippers!
Totally agree w everything you said, except that extras girls I don't think have anything to do w customers raping non consenting dancers. They are rational human beings capable of knowing and understanding what "no" means very well, and thats not on any other female. Just cause Jessica down the street blows you does not mean that I will..women do not come w the same boundaries and they know that damn well. I think blaming other females takes away the blame and responsibility off the shoulders of the perpetrator..grown ass men who are fully capable of comprehending NO.
angely
10-07-2016, 08:32 AM
Totally agree w everything you said, except that extras girls I don't think have anything to do w customers raping non consenting dancers. They are rational human beings capable of knowing and understanding what "no" means very well, and thats not on any other female. Just cause Jessica down the street blows you does not mean that I will..women do not come w the same boundaries and they know that damn well. I think blaming other females takes away the blame and responsibility off the shoulders of the perpetrator..grown ass men who are fully capable of comprehending NO.
OP can correct me if i'm wrong but i dont think she meant it in that way. of course men are always 1000000% to blame and ever trying to alleviate them from their wrongdoings with any type of excuse is never okay. even in this case! but men can be dangerous, awful & disgusting so when they are so used to something and expect it, it's very much possible for them to go belligerent. they feel entitled to it bc "every other girl does it and if you say no it's unfair to them." i don't see that as blaming other girls but as creating a toxic environment where a man can lack care for boundaries and respect. who's to blame is 1.) the assailant 2.) the management for not creating a safe stable environment. i doubt extras girls are just evil nasty lil brainless girls here to destroy the industry and turn men into rapists (not saying ur saying this or OP is saying this) they may feel this is the only way to make money, are extremely desperate, and management shouldn't allow thm to be taken advantage of.
We had a rabbit like you
10-07-2016, 08:52 AM
^im not saying I think offering illegal shit in the club that creates an uneven playing field and messes w the market is a good or ok thing to do , not at all. I just think the only one responsible for rape is the rapist.
angely
10-07-2016, 09:09 AM
^im not saying I think offering illegal shit in the club that creates an uneven playing field and messes w the market is a good or ok thing to do , not at all. I just think the only one responsible for rape is the rapist.
i agree and i was just saying that flodawg probably meant the same thing. i dont think they were saying extras girls were the reason why men rape and therefore not responsible.
Exoticbeauti
10-07-2016, 12:14 PM
Number 1 it's illegal and 2 I don't Judge ppl do whatever makes up happy get your money but don't bring it in the club cuz your fucking up our money guys will think every girl does extras, if you wanna be extra go outside the club and so it. The club is a fantasy you just tell them what they wanna hear to make the money.
Vyanka
10-07-2016, 12:28 PM
I just don't get why some do the "extra" work, when you can make as much/bank as the same as the other chics. The key to this business is to get as much money as you can without all that "extra" work. Juice their wallets until they can't anymore.
angely
10-07-2016, 12:35 PM
I just don't get why some do the "extra" work, when you can make as much/bank as the same as the other chics. The key to this business is to get as much money as you can without all that "extra" work. Juice their wallets until they can't anymore.
maybe theyre not secure in themselves and see that as the only way. or some girls are just rly desperate and in a tight spot and don't have the energy/time to learn how to hustle. or maybe as i brought up in my
original post, theyre at a club where that's expected & when in rome.
those r my ideas as to why some girls choose to do it
SweetJulia
10-07-2016, 02:31 PM
I've briefly worked as a booking agent, not sure if that will be a help or hindrance in trying to answer in a civil manner. For girls who haven't come across extras girls, worked in full service, done the math, etc-worrying that more and more customers will expect illegal services, worrying that they'll be at more risk for being hauled in during a sting, and worrying that more and more classier clients will move on to different clubs. For those WITH experience, KNOWING all that instead of worrying, plus reliving their own, possibly bad, experience they're trying to move on from. If their past includes an arrest, their consequences will be much harsher than those who haven't. BTW, the agency I booked for? A month or two after I quit, they were raided. The owner spent eighteen months in jail and only got out cuz he made a deal. To........wait for it.........turn in everyone involved! If I was still there --and not looking at sex related busts online, I could have done six to twenty, in solitary, cuz it's a sex crime and there's no way to prove willingness on part of the escorts, which isn't top priority, legally, followed by a minimum ten years on the fucking sex offender registry. Do you really think being put in those shoes is something women with way too much to lose will take kindly to? Oh, and that newbie, who's just thinking about it? I'm willing to bet everything I own that someone experienced who's been dragged down this road in the past will clue her in, so she's equally as angry. Lastly, you mentioned doing this rarely, when the price is right? Customers dumb enough to have sex with a stranger in a strip club will almost always brag online, tell their slimy friends, etc.. people will know who you are, or, at the very least, know what club to try this at. They're really candid as snitching on the girl, friend, club they knew through. For the record, I have nothing against escorts, whether they're independent or agency. If anything, I'd just urge agency girls to acquire their own security and still keep the bulk of their money. Bringing it into a club where it doesn't belong is like a waitress at a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol sneaking in a huge bottle and spiking peoples' drinks at their request. It doesn't stay secretive long and they should have just been working in a bar the whole time. Hope this didn't come off rude, it's just that you're putting your coworkers in a terrible spot, financially and legally, if you go through with this. For those suggesting a legal brothel, some things to keep in mind:
1-In her scenario, she's one of a very small population offering it in a situation where getting caught is possible. In a legal brothel, there's no risk of being caught and no shortage of attractive and willing competition.
2-She mentioned emotional trauma and emphasized doing it on her terms. Sure, she could turn down a guy she's not feeling up to, but she'd lose out financially, possibly have to pay a fine, and watch him quickly whisked off by a more than sympathetic co-worker, ready to take her place.
3-In her scenario, she'd keep most to all of her money. A brothel usually takes half. For everyone reading this, whether it's something you'd consider, something that literally nauseated you, or anywhere in between -would you really want to hand over half your rate? Or have your "boss" hand you your half, since you're often not the one even handling the money?
4-Most legal background brothels do a background check. Even if she has nothing on her record, can you understand her not wanting glorified pimps having her legal info-which can be used for blackmail-and poking around in her past?
4-Same goes for STD screenings.
Best of luck with the trauma, OP. All I can say is the adult business for someone with trauma related to it is like the victim of a very bad car accident constantly driving around for a living. Have the strongest support system possible and therapy is never a waste. Many work on a sliding scale, some are even free. Go out of county for privacy, maybe even out of state. Best of luck.
LegoMoney
10-07-2016, 03:11 PM
OP, I'm stating a lot of what has already been said, but this is important to me, so I need to say it. Hopefully, you'll realize this isn't a good idea. Sell your vag all you want. I don't look down on women who do, and no one should. Selling vag is great. Just not in the club.
I hate the extras girl because:
1) She's disgusting. Not matter how she looks. Us dancers all use the same facilities and we should not be subject to exposure to you and your customers body fluids.
2) I hate leaving home after an 6 hour shift with $175 dollars while a girl much less attractive then me leaves with $800 after working 2 hours because she fucked 4 dudes in the back and gave another 3 BJs.
3) Because no matter how I phrase it, explain it, or list my other accomplishments, every fucking romantic partner who knows I dance also directly assumes that I sell pussy and I do it at the club. Needless to say, this has caused issues with trust and respect. Shit, the whole world doesn't respect strippers because of this stereotype. We can't JUST be women who get paid to dance around in lingerie because we're beautiful. Nope, everyone thinks we're all dirty whores because some girls like you wanna "multi-task" at work.
4) You can get someone else in trouble with the law. And that's simply not fair. When the cops come around, I guarantee they won't be spending much time trying to sort through the girls who are fucking vs. the girls who aren't.
Honey, just don't do it. To consistently plan to do extras as an additional source of income in the club is dumb, and you'll eventually run into bigger issues than which other dancers "hate" you.
Flodawg
10-07-2016, 03:21 PM
Totally agree w everything you said, except that extras girls I don't think have anything to do w customers raping non consenting dancers. They are rational human beings capable of knowing and understanding what "no" means very well, and thats not on any other female. Just cause Jessica down the street blows you does not mean that I will..women do not come w the same boundaries and they know that damn well. I think blaming other females takes away the blame and responsibility off the shoulders of the perpetrator..grown ass men who are fully capable of comprehending NO.
Oh god, no, you're absolutely right and I didn't mean at all to feed into the rape culture bullshit that tries to excuse consent violations by blaming women instead of the perpetrator. Ignoring boundaries and "no!" is 100% on him. I just mean-- some of the situations I've been in seemed to escalate suuuuuper quick because he had the expectation that "the other girls do this, you should to". And if I didn't, then he would still push and push and then sit there all upset and angry and suddenly I'm the bad guy because I won't whip out his dick or let him touch my pussy. And if they're regular club spenders, management says "look after him, he's a very good customer for us".
Especially as a newb to the area, even though I explained my rules at the start of the dance, customers would still find a new unexpected loophole that I hadn't specified but that still pushed past my boundaries. Lots of lessons learnt the hard way, and it's been very tempting to blame the extras girls for training the customers to expect a certain level of service that shouldn't be found in a stripclub. But you're right, other women are never to blame for men violating consent. I came from a club environment where the rules were completely uniform and strictly enforced by the club, the dancers also reinforced these boundaries amongst ourselves and "self-policed", and if a customer asked for a blowie we would literally send them down the road to a brothel owned by the same company. I experienced exactly five cunt-grabs in four years. Here, it's a good night if my pussy "only" gets grabbed once in a night.
I miss having that "structural" support of a clean club environment, and I'm super duper grateful to this forum for filling that support gap and teaching me how to be confident in defending my own boundaries. My nightly mantra now: If you give an inch, the customer will take a mile.
Flodawg
10-07-2016, 04:01 PM
PS
As an interesting sidenote to the legality aspect, on my US immigration paperwork it specifically asked:
3. Have you EVER:
a. Within the past 10 years been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution, or intend to engage in such
activities in the future?
TEN YEARS! Regardless of whether prostitution is legal in the immigrant's country of birth! It blows my mind. Additionally, "prostitution" is very, very vaguely defined by this state's laws. "Sexual conduct"? Wtf even is that?
TiffTiff
10-07-2016, 06:39 PM
I hate extras girls because they screw with my money. I have "Dave" come see me twice a week and get few dances or a champagne room with me but one day he comes in and I'm not there. DO he dances with "Angel". Angel gave him a blow job (no condom/nasty) for no extra money or for $a $40 tip. "Dave" never came back to see me because instead of a nice sexy 1/2 hour dance with me, he got head from her. Also, when she didn't swallow his jizz, she spit it on the side of the couch (or on the curtain, whatever). Please, just go be an escort and let us "dancers" just dance.
Also, now every guy that has gotten a hand job from "angel" will expect it from me when I take him in the back. Just NO.
Anya_briel
10-08-2016, 01:23 AM
I have no problem making money where some girls are doing extras. I don't judge them at all. I'll let them do what they want to, or have to, do. Sometimes I feel it's less of an insecurity thing and can be more of a financial security thing. How do I know she doesn't have babies to feed? What if she's about to lose her house? I mean, maybe she wants to be a clean stripper but times are hard for her and she's desperate. I don't know her story, I don't judge. I make my money, I make GOOD money. So I don't care.
Also, can I let it be known that "whore" and "prostitute" are slurs? The term FSSW (full service sex worker) or escort is preferred. I'm on mobile and don't feel like going into huge detail as to why.
Layla.00
10-08-2016, 06:02 AM
I have no problem making money where some girls are doing extras. I don't judge them at all. I'll let them do what they want to, or have to, do. Sometimes I feel it's less of an insecurity thing and can be more of a financial security thing. How do I know she doesn't have babies to feed? What if she's about to lose her house? I mean, maybe she wants to be a clean stripper but times are hard for her and she's desperate. I don't know her story, I don't judge. I make my money, I make GOOD money. So I don't care.
Also, can I let it be known that "whore" and "prostitute" are slurs? The term FSSW (full service sex worker) or escort is preferred. I'm on mobile and don't feel like going into huge detail as to why.
This is pretty exactly what I think as well.
I have never worked anywhere where I felt like I was expected to do extras because other girls were. I understand this isn't the same everywhere though. The girls who do extras in my area are generally discrete, clean up after themselves and their customers and charge a good sum of money for their services.
I wish we could all just sit around and gossip with each other while men spent money on us just for being awesome. I wish we were all rained on every night. I wish we didn't have rent or hungry babies or dead beat partners or illnesses. But we do and people do what they feel like they have to do. Yeah backpage is a thing but I can understand why a lot of girls don't want to go that route. The fact that girls find a sense of security in clubs doing this type of work, primarily because strip clubs are regulated and legal, goes to show that all sex work should be legalized and that's what we should all be advocating for.
I'm happy to have a work place where I can go and just make money from dancing, and I would be upset if that started to change, but I don't think of extras girls as my arch enemies. I care far more about asshole management and shitty customers, who affect my earnings A LOT more than anyone doing extras.
LegoMoney
10-08-2016, 07:03 AM
I just want to point out that I used "whore" in a way that summarized how people feel about us in this industry. I wasn't calling sex workers "whores." I'm well aware of how dangerous this type of language is for sex workers and for women in general. But, honestly, I'm not gonna lie.... I can't keep up with every minor, politically-correct phrasing of stuff nowadays..... But, I see your point.
And I will never judge the desperate sex worker. I think almost ALL of us have been there before. I think we can all emphathize with the woman who is willing to take a few risks to ensure that everything is taken care of at the end of the day. I admire her. I am her. That's one of the most beautiful things about this job. The ability to pick up a few shifts and be able to re-build or stabilize your life.
Mishi
10-08-2016, 10:29 AM
I just want to point out that I used "whore" in a way that summarized how people feel about us in this industry. I wasn't calling sex workers "whores." I'm well aware of how dangerous this type of language is for sex workers and for women in general. But, honestly, I'm not gonna lie.... I can't keep up with every minor, politically-correct phrasing of stuff nowadays..... But, I see your point.
And I will never judge the desperate sex worker. I think almost ALL of us have been there before. I think we can all emphathize with the woman who is willing to take a few risks to ensure that everything is taken care of at the end of the day. I admire her. I am her. That's one of the most beautiful things about this job. The ability to pick up a few shifts and be able to re-build or stabilize your life.
I have danced since I was 18. I am now 25. I am in MD/PhD program but I mention this not to brag, just to lay down the fact that I'm not stupid. With that being said it took me at least two years to learn how to jerk off a guy's wallet and not his dick. I have mentioned previously and I believe it was in this thread that the hustle everyone speaks of is a "learned" skill and I believe comes with maturity. I cannot fault anyone who doesn't have that skill or that maturity because I've been there and I just did not know any better or any different. I feel like I am at Catholic confession (and I'm not even Catholic) but I am admitting all of this in an attempt to let everyone know that every one of us has been propositioned at some point in our career. Please don't say you are so cool that that has never happened to you. I don't care if you have danced for John Kennedy, Barack Obama, Donald Trump or Wyatt Earp you have been asked to provide extras. I didn't even learn how to say no when I first started. When I meet a newbie instead of telling her that she is such a slimeball, I try to teach her how to say no but even better, never get in the position to have to say no.
alibby
10-08-2016, 11:14 AM
Why stop sugaring and escorting if you're just going to try to do the same thing in the club? At least with those you aren't messing up other girls' money.
If you do decide to go forward with dancing at least see how you'll do first without having to resort to extras. You're on this site so I know you've been in Hustle Hut, if you study that and perfect your look, persona, etc you won't have to go with the easy way out.
These guys don't deserve that level of intimacy for $100. And if you do find a big spender that becomes a regular of yours, take the extra activities outside of the club.
P.s. interesting to see your tone change from your first post about how you'd do extras for the right price, now seeing one of your later post about extras girls being, desperate and insecure..a step in the right direction I suppose and keep that sentiment in the back of your head when/if an offer comes about. Good luck!
Mishi
10-08-2016, 11:59 AM
Alibby-not certain if your reply was addressed to me. I'm the one who would screw a orangutan for $10 million.
vanessa_mtl
10-08-2016, 02:18 PM
Exactly how I feel! OP I wish you luck and courage in navigating how to set boundaries in the club :) we were all baby strippers once and had to learn and it was a scary lonely steep learning curve for many! :s
tHIS
I cannot fault anyone who doesn't have that skill or that maturity because I've been there and I just did not know any better or any different. I feel like I am at Catholic confession (and I'm not even Catholic) but I am admitting all of this in an attempt to let everyone know that every one of us has been propositioned at some point in our career. Please don't say you are so cool that that has never happened to you. I don't care if you have danced for John Kennedy, Barack Obama, Donald Trump or Wyatt Earp you have been asked to provide extras. I didn't even learn how to say no when I first started. When I meet a newbie instead of telling her that she is such a slimeball, I try to teach her how to say no but even better, never get in the position to have to say no.[/QUOTE]
angely
10-08-2016, 03:22 PM
thanks Mishi, Anya, and Layla for ur insights from a more different point of view!!
Anya_briel
10-09-2016, 02:19 PM
Good luck, I'll be keeping my eyes out to see any updates you have on your first strip club experiences!
chanzep
10-10-2016, 04:51 PM
I don't know if it's what she meant but from what I read it seems the O.P wants a clubs where extras are not the norm, but she can do them for the right price without competition?
As someone who danced for 10 years, extras in the club, and strippers who go out to perform them after the club with club customers messed with both mine and my Escort friends money.
PrettyPuppet
10-12-2016, 02:17 AM
Personally I have no problem with prostitution, escorting, sugaring or anything and I've considered them all at one point or another. This being said I work in a club that tries hard to be clean and weed out extras girls. I get upset when there are extras girls for a few reasons.
1, they put me in legal jeopardy. I don't know what I'd do if I got arrested because someone else broke the law near me.
2, when girls push their boundaries near me it puts me in a difficult position. In my club it's contact, pasties and g-string. They aren't supposed to touch the privates, boobs or butt. Girls shouldn't be touching dicks at all besides from just grinding on them. When I'm talking to a group and a girl comes over and starts grabbing one guy's dick and talking about it the guy I'm talking to starts to wonder why I'm not touching him more, and if does a dance with me he'll probably expect more since we saw that done on the floor.
One thing that infuriates me is when a girl breaks the law with me in the dance with her. This happened tonight, actually. The other girl had no pasties and was moaning like crazy when he touched her breasts. I had pasties on and moved away as soon as he grabbed at my boobs. Usually I can tell a guy hes not allowed to touch me there and point to the cameras if he doesn't believe me. I like a more firm approach so I don't have to keep dodging hands all night, but I can't really say that when nothing was being done about this girl and she had no problem with it.
I just wish that clean clubs could stay that way and girls who wanted to do more could do it on their own or in a brothel. I understand we all have to make our money someway, but you don't need to endanger other people to do it.
SuperJa
10-12-2016, 11:17 AM
I think for most of us the number one concern is the safety. Sometimes LE discreetly comes in and tries to catch girls, but other times, if Club X is a known haven for illegal activity, they'll just come in and grab everyone. Obviously if you were working there, you're okay with the activities- guilt by association.
The other key problem is IF a girl is doing "extras" which are literally called "extras" she should be CHARGING EXTRA. If a room is $500 and we are both selling the room for $500 but she wants another $250 for the blow job or whatever, I'd still rather that wasn't happening, but at least it's not an obvious deal.
Part of the reason girls do extras is that stripping, but also escorting, are hard jobs. Making bigger money as a stripper, selling air dance rooms, etc, has a pretty steep learning curve. There's a skill set that many girls don't want/aren't able to learn. It's easier to just offer up additional services as part of the deal. On the escorting side, there is a ton of advertising, research, networking, and background checks, that a lot of girls don't care to do or don't realize that they should do.
I'm off on a tangent here but I worry sometimes that with the advent of the internet and stripping sort of becoming a ~cool~ job to do we end up with a lot more girls who completely lack any sort of street smarts. LE can bust you in a club just as easily as off of backpage, and they happily break all those little rules they are supposed to follow to arrest you. Lots of girls get arrested AFTER sexual services have been provided, so the old "oh he's willing to show me his dick he can't be a cop thing" isn't real.
I always write about extras as sexual services but up here it's all air dances/one way contact, so when girls get angry about 'dirty dancers" I never know if it was somebody having sex with a customer or somebody letting a guy touch their leg lol. But both will get you a huge-ass fine. A girl grabbed a liquor board undercover's crotch through his pants here a few years ago and the fine was at least $3k.
Selina M
10-12-2016, 02:25 PM
The other key problem is IF a girl is doing "extras" which are literally called "extras" she should be CHARGING EXTRA. If a room is $500 and we are both selling the room for $500 but she wants another $250 for the blow job or whatever, I'd still rather that wasn't happening, but at least it's not an obvious deal.
This. Also, even if you are charging extra, we can't see that. It needs to at least APPEAR to our customers that you are charging much more (i.e., do it in the CR at LEAST, where hopefully our customers can't see it anyway), to negate the snowballing damage to the clientele.
That is the problem at 2/3 main clubs I've worked in Phx. One literally had no champagne room at all, and the other the CR never gets sold between girls who don't know how & poor pricing setup that keeps $20 dances more profitable. The girls then do their extras deals in the $20/$25 VIP rooms, next to clean girls, and then customers start thinking that's part of the deal with $20 dances... Even if the girl did charge more, he doesn't know that.
Onto her next point... a lot of girls at my club are dumb as fuck and don't charge more anyway because they use it as a bartering chip since they have no conversational skills to sell with. Don't be like them.
Say you have 2 options that come out to the extra $100 an ITC blow job might net you. 1) Take a month of listening to some 'how to win people over' and 'sales & negotiation' type audiobooks on your way to work & reading Hustle Hut, and learn how to upsell a little bit... you don't even have to sell a CR, just keep dudes in for more dances at a time or upsell to a slightly pricier dance. 2) Put a stranger's dick in your mouth & risk STDs, arrest, getting fired, problems with other girls, & whatever psychological damage you might end up with. Which option is better? Yeah, I thought so.
LE can bust you in a club just as easily as off of backpage, and they happily break all those little rules they are supposed to follow to arrest you.
Yep. He's drinking beer, he's not wearing XYZ shoes, he took out his dick... nope. Cops will break all the rules and then lie. Get a conservative judge who hates sex work, and he may not even have to lie, they won't care if the girls got any sort of fair warning. They are apparently immune to the rules the rest of us have to follow... I've sat in court while one blatantly lied on the stand while under oath, ffs. You will never get a fair shake if a cop is involved, and there really isn't any way to identify them in the club since you can't screen or check references or anything the escorts have on their side.
KariSwitch
10-12-2016, 02:43 PM
My two issues with extra girls are:
1) they take away money from non-extra girls. I hate when anyone messes with my money.
2) when girls are giving extras in the club, that man and his friends will expect the same from every dancer in the club. I hate that. Can't stand that. Pisses me off to no end.
gummygirl
10-12-2016, 10:35 PM
But really it fucks our money up. I make as much as you without all that
(My bad)
Optimist
10-14-2016, 01:44 PM
Exactly why strip clubs & exotic dancers are losing its value . Why pay $1k on a room with no sexual favors when they can just get it for a couple of hundred bucks... I make good money as a dancer & regularly make around $1k a night... But from what older dancers tell me is that years ago, that would be laughable & considered a bad night to only make that much . & I can't help thinking dancers who provide extras are to blame (along with other things that has taken place throughout the years)
My issue with dancers who provide extras is that they are changing the game entirely, slowly but surely . It is no longer truly Exotic Dancing . & too many escorts are in the clubs trying to pick up business... Go to a brothel . Why make minimum as an escort trying to gather business inside of a strip club when you can go to a legal brothel & make $1k or so per session . I don't get it .
Because they are hiding behind the legal status strip clubs offer. They use the relative safety of the club staff and crowd vs being on a corner or being locked in a room alone with some random. They gaslight strippers into feeling guilty for judging them on their illegal, cutthroat, manipulative behaviors by giving us one new name--sex workers. So over the last 10 years we've gone from banding together to root out people having sex in the club to being shamed if we don't see ourselves as sister sex workers who should let a sister do her thing in peace.It's a one way street,dealing with extras girls. No one enjoys dealing with people who are using you, and destroying your livelihood but pretending they aren't.
vanessa_mtl
10-14-2016, 02:14 PM
They get AIDS and Pass it on....
Jk
But really it fucks our money up. I make as much as you without all that
I have friends who are HIV positive. HIV is not AIDS.
So you're stupid and not funny.
Everyone is annoyed and offended by the extras girls no need to be hateful and dumb.
gummygirl
10-14-2016, 08:40 PM
I have friends who are HIV positive. HIV is not AIDS.
So you're stupid and not funny.
Everyone is annoyed and offended by the extras girls no need to be hateful and dumb.
Yikes just joking...
I'm friends with the "extras girls"
Sorry about that ..
miss.a.p1600
10-15-2016, 12:34 AM
Without the "johns" and dudes who buy extras in the club over otc/escorts as well as seedy managers/owners who collect a cut/profit of said extras then the extras would not occur. Extras girls aren't the only ones perpetuating the extras market.
SidneyPrescott
10-19-2016, 03:05 PM
Unfortunately, in the real world where a stripclub is supposed to be all about the strip tease, it's mostly filled with extras and prostitution. The manority are the actual strippers and the majority are the actual prostitutes. Greed rules in this material world.
trustfundkiller
10-23-2016, 11:57 PM
It's counterintuitive to the purpose of stripping. Stripping is supposed to be about entertaining, teasing, and selling a fantasy of sex and being "attainable". If you're actually delivering this fantasy, why not become an escort or a sugar baby? Girls who provide extras, especially girls who provide CHEAP extras, make it harder for clean dancers to make money. You might be a gorgeous, clean dancer who is charging $500 for a half-hour champagne room, but this other girl is going to have sex in the champagne room for $200 and the beer goggles have kicked in. As crass as this saying is, "a hole is a hole" ...I'm convinced a lot of men believe that. Providing extras also hurts the strip club industry because this behavior comes to be expected. I work in Miami and full on sex in the champagne room is so commonplace that it's practically expected among locals.
Additionally, extras girls put the entire club and the clean dancers at risk. It only takes one dumb bitch to open her mouth an undercover cop, and the whole club is raided and shut down. Certainly not a situation I want to get caught up in...