Log in

View Full Version : The Serious Dating Thread



Pages : 1 [2]

Glamourmilf
05-09-2018, 08:07 AM
Someone tell me, have you ever had a good experience from tinder or okcupid in recent times? I read so many horror stories about ghosting, ghosting after sex, slipping off condoms, or guys purposefully going in your butt by surprise, verbal abuse and threats after turning someone down I want to just hole up in my apartment alone and never so much as get coffee with a stranger.

Bad experience with Tinder ( all I met was one guy who was overbearing, and another who was a Fed)
I met my last bf on ok Cupid, but I had to weed through a bunch of losers and flakes.
I recently had an older guy message me on Ok Cupid ( 50 year old white guy, which isn't my thing).
He forgot to take off his wedding ring in one of his photos.:rotfl:
I asked for his number, which he gave immediately.
I'm going to approach him like a sugar daddy.
Will report back.

SnuffleUffleGrass
05-09-2018, 08:15 PM
I'm going to secretly pick out my wedding dress. By this time next year I'll have a Mr. SnuffleUffleGrass to call my own.

Glamourmilf
05-11-2018, 08:12 AM
Bad experience with Tinder ( all I met was one guy who was overbearing, and another who was a Fed)
I met my last bf on ok Cupid, but I had to weed through a bunch of losers and flakes.
I recently had an older guy message me on Ok Cupid ( 50 year old white guy, which isn't my thing).
He forgot to take off his wedding ring in one of his photos.:rotfl:
I asked for his number, which he gave immediately.
I'm going to approach him like a sugar daddy.
Will report back.

This guy. I asked what would be a good time to reach him, and he says anytime.
I tell him I can call him at 5 ( my break from my fake job).
He answers the phone with, " Hey, can I call you back in a bit?"
WTF?
I thought his voice sounded wimpy, so I just hung up.
Lol!

lynn2009
05-11-2018, 06:05 PM
I really would like to meet someone but it feels so undoable in my old age (late 20s...). Everyone's like "Oh you are employed full-time, don't live with your parents and don't have someone else's kids I'd have to deal with? Me either! Let's get married! That's the best you can do anymore anyway!"

And I have always fucking hated emoticons, people overuse the shit out of them, and now I get single emoticon messages on okcupid, like are you fucking autistic? Are you nonverbal? Have you learned the alphabet yet? I mean the stupidity and jadeness never ends, guys take more stupid fucking selfies than women do as far as I can tell. If I do get an actual message with words it's like "Glad to see a normal profile on here!"

seashell
05-17-2018, 02:53 PM
I'm basically dating my dream man, and it's starting to deeply freak me out. He's intimidatingly handsome (I'm not used to dating someone who constantly gets eyed up and down by so many women and men), tall, extremely fit and healthy, engineer- level intelligent, extremely emotionally intelligent, has traveled the world, is super responsible and doesn't play games, is highly attentive, hilarious, very well endowed, incredibly connected in bed (think: lots of eye contact, can make love and fuck hard without losing that loving, connected energy, insane stamina, has no ego in bed)...a nerdy sweetheart who looks like a Brazilian Ken doll. I could go on and on. It's ridiculous.

I'm really trying to stay cool, calm, and collected about it all. I'm filled with self doubt. About the limitations of my orientation, the limitations of my ability to connect emotionally with others... all of my insecurities are at the top of my head these days. I'm used to being the one who's always in control in the relationship. I'm always slightly better looking, more intelligent, slightly less 'into it' than my partners. Being in an egalitarian relationship is so healthy for me, but sooooo outside of my comfort zone.

I refuse to fuck this up. I'm just going to try to enjoy what i have and release expectations. Some days are easier than others.

Good for you! I'm in a similar situation, and it's also new to me. I've never been with a really, genuinely attractive man before... at least not since high school. He takes good care of himself, has a thin/toned body and ridiculously sexy hair, and everywhere we go, I see women checking him out. It is not helping my insecurities AT ALL. haha.

It looks like we're going to the US in July together, for a few weeks. His work is flying him out there, so we'll have a free place to live, and I can cam while he's gone from 9-5. I am honestly really really excited. :)

Elektra Luxx
08-05-2018, 11:14 AM
I gave up my apartment and moved in with bf. Because it's more convenient because I'm always there anyways and I'm still keeping my independence. I feel like he's slowly wearing me down by caring for me and loving me and being patient with me. Don't misunderstand, I'm happy too.

I cannot stress this enough, trust, open communication and being in good LTR do not come easy for me and I don't know how handle this. It's like I hold on to those things because that's who I am.

Add on: We wake up together and he's looking at me wearing his goofy smile and smile back. Wait!!! He wanted this since about a month after we started dating. I pretend to glare at him and moves in to kiss me and I bite his lower lip. Sorry...I love him but I can't make things too easy.

baer45
08-05-2018, 05:25 PM
I gave up my apartment and moved in with bf. Because it's more convenient because I'm always there anyways and I'm still keeping my independence. I feel like he's slowly wearing me down by caring for me and loving me and being patient with me. Don't misunderstand, I'm happy too.

I cannot stress this enough, trust, open communication and being in good LTR do not come easy for me and I don't know how handle this. It's like I hold on to those things because that's who I am.

Add on: We wake up together and he's looking at me wearing his goofy smile and smile back. Wait!!! He wanted this since about a month after we started dating. I pretend to glare at him and moves in to kiss me and I bite his lower lip. Sorry...I love him but I can't make things too easy.


I am happy for you. Don't be afraid of trying.
Don’t wait to be lonely, to recognize the value of a relationship.

lynn2009
08-08-2018, 08:36 PM
This isn't about very serious dating but I would still like feedback...

Derek's friend and I have been talking for a few weeks now, usually on the phone. And last weekend we spent the weekend in Baltimore. I had invited him to my apartment but he booked a really expensive hotel in downtown and said he didn't want to be presumptuous or impose on me which is so polite and charming (not presumptuous...if he only knew), but I still thought it was kind of odd since I invited him over you know? It's not like he had invited himself over and then changed his mind. Anyway he has gotten attached pretty quickly. Even before we spent the weekend together he texted me after we hung up one night that I'm amazing, beautiful smart and kind and it was an honor to know me. It's just so much so quickly.

I started talking to him and someone else I used to hook up with around the same time, and I was hoping Derek's friend and I could take a break this weekend without too much fuss since it is still so early. But today he asked me what I was doing this weekend and we ended up making plans for him to spend the weekend with me at my apartment. I really, really wanted to see this other guy this weekend. TBH I am 50/50 on sex with DF and he thinks it is amazing. At first I could understand him being shy because I dated Derek before but now I'm like PLEASE MAKE A MOVE ON ME. Not to mention I really need a lot of alone time in general. And this other guy he is amazing in bed and adores me like a puppy, it's so cute. But I would feel like such shit to cancel on DF now, we haven't had a talk about being exclusive or dating but he's so sweet and affectionate to me all the time sometimes I do it back to be nice. I could probably ask for the weekend alone and that would probably be fine but I don't know...I've also been having a lot of problems with my family so I could say I need to deal with my parents this weekend which he would also believe. I don't really see me and DF going the distance anyway. Maybe I am too disengaged from dating or any socialness anymore, but I just don't really feel it with him? I feel kind of bad for the guy, I think he's like the real story of a nice guy who always finishes last. He didn't finish college because he couldn't afford it, he was engaged once ten years ago but she was cheating on him then never got that serious with anyone else after. But also I want to make sure DF is happy enough to stick around for a while like keeping him on retainer...I feel like a horrible person. He's so attached already.

baer45
08-08-2018, 08:54 PM
This isn't about very serious dating but I would still like feedback...

Derek's friend and I have been talking for a few weeks now, usually on the phone. And last weekend we spent the weekend in Baltimore. I had invited him to my apartment but he booked a really expensive hotel in downtown and said he didn't want to be presumptuous or impose on me which is so polite and charming (not presumptuous...if he only knew), but I still thought it was kind of odd since I invited him over you know? It's not like he had invited himself over and then changed his mind. Anyway he has gotten attached pretty quickly. Even before we spent the weekend together he texted me after we hung up one night that I'm amazing, beautiful smart and kind and it was an honor to know me. It's just so much so quickly.

I started talking to him and someone else I used to hook up with around the same time, and I was hoping Derek's friend and I could take a break this weekend without too much fuss since it is still so early. But today he asked me what I was doing this weekend and we ended up making plans for him to spend the weekend with me at my apartment. I really, really wanted to see this other guy this weekend. TBH I am 50/50 on sex with DF and he thinks it is amazing. At first I could understand him being shy because I dated Derek before but now I'm like PLEASE MAKE A MOVE ON ME. Not to mention I really need a lot of alone time in general. And this other guy he is amazing in bed and adores me like a puppy, it's so cute. But I would feel like such shit to cancel on DF now, we haven't had a talk about being exclusive or dating but he's so sweet and affectionate to me all the time sometimes I do it back to be nice. I could probably ask for the weekend alone and that would probably be fine but I don't know...I've also been having a lot of problems with my family so I could say I need to deal with my parents this weekend which he would also believe. I don't really see me and DF going the distance anyway. Maybe I am too disengaged from dating or any socialness anymore, but I just don't really feel it with him? I feel kind of bad for the guy, I think he's like the real story of a nice guy who always finishes last. He didn't finish college because he couldn't afford it, he was engaged once ten years ago but she was cheating on him then never got that serious with anyone else after. But also I want to make sure DF is happy enough to stick around for a while like keeping him on retainer...I feel like a horrible person. He's so attached already.

Listen to your heart, if your heart doesn't feel it, then he's not the one.

Elektra Luxx
08-08-2018, 09:29 PM
This isn't about very serious dating but I would still like feedback...

Derek's friend and I have been talking for a few weeks now, usually on the phone. And last weekend we spent the weekend in Baltimore. I had invited him to my apartment but he booked a really expensive hotel in downtown and said he didn't want to be presumptuous or impose on me which is so polite and charming (not presumptuous...if he only knew), but I still thought it was kind of odd since I invited him over you know? It's not like he had invited himself over and then changed his mind. Anyway he has gotten attached pretty quickly. Even before we spent the weekend together he texted me after we hung up one night that I'm amazing, beautiful smart and kind and it was an honor to know me. It's just so much so quickly.

I started talking to him and someone else I used to hook up with around the same time, and I was hoping Derek's friend and I could take a break this weekend without too much fuss since it is still so early. But today he asked me what I was doing this weekend and we ended up making plans for him to spend the weekend with me at my apartment. I really, really wanted to see this other guy this weekend. TBH I am 50/50 on sex with DF and he thinks it is amazing. At first I could understand him being shy because I dated Derek before but now I'm like PLEASE MAKE A MOVE ON ME. Not to mention I really need a lot of alone time in general. And this other guy he is amazing in bed and adores me like a puppy, it's so cute. But I would feel like such shit to cancel on DF now, we haven't had a talk about being exclusive or dating but he's so sweet and affectionate to me all the time sometimes I do it back to be nice. I could probably ask for the weekend alone and that would probably be fine but I don't know...I've also been having a lot of problems with my family so I could say I need to deal with my parents this weekend which he would also believe. I don't really see me and DF going the distance anyway. Maybe I am too disengaged from dating or any socialness anymore, but I just don't really feel it with him? I feel kind of bad for the guy, I think he's like the real story of a nice guy who always finishes last. He didn't finish college because he couldn't afford it, he was engaged once ten years ago but she was cheating on him then never got that serious with anyone else after. But also I want to make sure DF is happy enough to stick around for a while like keeping him on retainer...I feel like a horrible person. He's so attached already.

Tell DF how you feel now so he doesn't get more attached. (Before or After the weekend, I know, it's a bitch move.) Leave your family concerns the weedays and enjoy your weekend. Unfortunately they wiil still be there, after weekend for yourself.

cyberstripper
08-10-2018, 07:04 PM
I re-entered the dating world after a ltr came to an end last year. My LTR was so long, that I never really experimented with online dating. I did some dick hopping ofc and found I want something more than just a physical connection with others.

I met a FWB last July and we both had the "no labels" ideal and I communicated that I was seeking a more open relationship. I continued dating other men, and this caused a lot of conflict. FWB claims he ended up hurt, but he was always free to see other women. He believes I was lying about wanting an open relationship, and when I had a serious talk with him about my dating life he admitted he thought I was just testing him to make him jealous. Not the case at all, I openly communicated about wanting to explore after my LTR came to an end. We had amazing sex, had a 3 some with my girl friend, etc. This FWB and I have a really strong connection and chemistry, but alas, we both grew to care about each other. We have since taken a break but remain in contact. I have found that a FWB situationship with this specific person lead to far too much emotional labor and got really complicated. It was both of our doing. I also feel that I got involved with him way too soon after the end of my LTR, simply because I was lonely and wanted attention. This is never a good reason to start seeing anyone. I feel bad for how this turned out, I am equally responsible yet I cannot be responsible for someone else's feelings and emotions, especially when they say the same to me when I try to express my own. I feel this person is incapable of having and managing a more open relationship. Again, far too complicated for a fwb. I got really hung up on this guy I admit and I honestly didn't want that with someone who made it clear they did not want a commitment. I didn't either at the time. I look at this as a learning experience.

After this got rocky, I really haven't dated. Had a few booty calls, all of which left me unfulfilled.

A few weeks ago, I met a really cool guy and we clicked. The chemistry is insane. I shared with him on our first meeting that I love giving massages. He has a very labor intensive job. He texted me a while later, asking if I would give him a massage. I told him I would but if he is expecting a happy ending, it won't happen lol (you never know peoples expectations) He comes to my place, we chill a bit and I start the massage. Within 15 mins of being on top of him, my loins ached lol. I just had to have him.....the sex was so intense...he is among my top 5 in the bedroom. We have hooked up since a few times, went out on a date, and then had a chill night at his place with no sex involved. I was worried I gave myself up to this one "too soon" because I would really like to date someone, build a connection and see where it goes. This will never happen if he views me only as sex. We also have some business matters we are discussing with each other. I do not want sex to complicate things in this case. We have amazing sexual chemistry so I am just taking this day by day, keeping my expectations to a minimum. That being said, if we can manage to have a drama-free fwb it will be a lot of fun for the both of us, and I will see where it goes.

I am dating another guy who I go out with here and there and I have not had sex with him. He is gung-ho about a serious relationship with me and I told him I cannot commit right now. The pressure is actually pushing me away. I am not a cold, cruel woman but to me his desperation to enter a LTR when we hardly know each other is a red flag. I am not going to commit to him, have been honest with him about this, and he has to keep his expectations in check. I communicated this. As much as I long for a true ride or die, this man is far too timid, push-over type. I get tired of hearing we can do whatever I want. I want a man who can take the lead, but is man enough to let the woman be in charge as well if that makes sense. I also want someone with more of an edge, this guy is far too soft and he would not be able to handle me in the long run.

I can get dick any time I want, and have been used for sex in the past as well...this I know for a fact that I do not want. In the past, I have given myself away wayyy too soon. Men will judge you for this even though they claim they don't. Men will never view me as GF material if I continue to do this, so I have made a promise to myself to truly get to know any men I go on dates with, but this can also lead to me getting hurt. The classic, you hold out, finally hook up and then the man who got what he wanted all along disappears.

I am a really lonely person as well. I cannot cave into this and simply see men/hook up to feel close to someone. I would rather not have sex at all then have one night encounters that leave me feeling more empty. Soooo....

I am taking time to rediscover myself and what I really want. During this time, I have told myself I am going to go on a date a week and explore my options. I do like being single in that regard...I found I can have chemistry with many different types of people and I can act on that if I choose. While I am dating, I intend to keep the promise I made to myself. In the past, aside from my LTR, I never really experienced being courted, getting to know someone, going on dates, etc. I am very sexually open minded but I deserve all of this and I realize it. A man who doesn't want to give me that time is not the man for me. But god damn a woman has needs. I have never really dated like this and it is time I do. I am not getting any younger. But, as much as I want to date, I feel that dating a few guys at once will be too much for me. In the past, I juggled different men and enjoyed all of their unique qualities, but nowadays...I ain't got time for that ish. Dating a new guy once a week will get me out of the house and will be a big part of my self-discovery process. For me this is a solid plan.

I can see that I should really just date and fall in love with myself. I am working on this and many people would tell me to just focus on myself. But, I really do feel dating can be a healthy part of my self-discovery journey.

cyberstripper
08-10-2018, 07:37 PM
My gf also gave me some really good dating advice: to never always be available and to not actually "need" a man. Want/need are very different and she is so right.

Elektra Luxx
08-28-2018, 01:49 PM
Today bf said that I live in my own little world. He didn't say it to be mean, although we were having a discussion. He said it like more to himself. Like to explain to himself why I think the way I do and why we think so differently.

I'm learning that when he gets mad at me, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore, it just means that I made him angry and that he felt the need to say something about it and that he'll get over it a little while. That's an important lesson for me because in past relationships, this the point where I ended it or went out and had revenge sex with someone else. There is no end of ex's that are willing to have revenge sex no matter their relationship situation.

More later.

Aurora_Sunset
08-28-2018, 04:43 PM
I’m actually seriously planning to move a man into my apartment in less than a week.

And I’m not even scared... ��

Aurora_Sunset
08-29-2018, 07:20 AM
Ok, I'm a little scared... lol

But not in a bad way.

I feel like the YEARS of not compromising on being with someone just for the sake of being with someone have finally paid off. That my "idealistic" notions of "if there IS someone for me, I'll know when it's right," "I'm not gonna try to change myself - if someone comes along that makes me WANT to be less selfish and be around them all the time, ONLY THEN will I settle down" have come true. He makes me want to change just in the important ways. To be better and more put together. To be an adult in an adult relationship that thinks in terms of "we."

There's still this terrified, doubtful part of me that keeps praying for him to please not change his mind and flake and back out and leave me sitting on my couch all alone on Monday when he's supposed to show up with his stuff.... I would never get over that at this point.

Elektra Luxx
08-29-2018, 09:27 PM
I need to be constantly reassured. Sometimes, I say "I love you" to bf and he has to say "I love you" back and not say it back casually, but say with meaning. I'm a nut case.

Cutie101
08-30-2018, 04:32 PM
I need to be constantly reassured. Sometimes, I say "I love you" to bf and he has to say "I love you" back and not say it back casually, but say with meaning. I'm a nut case.

I think the facts should show more than words. If, trough his actions, he shows that he loves you and cares for you, then words are irrelevant. You'll be fine hahaa :))

Afterall, what's the point of saying you "Ohhhh I love you", just to keep you around him,but he's being an abuser and a manipulator, for example?

Cutie101
08-30-2018, 04:38 PM
Ok, I'm a little scared... lol

But not in a bad way.

I feel like the YEARS of not compromising on being with someone just for the sake of being with someone have finally paid off. That my "idealistic" notions of "if there IS someone for me, I'll know when it's right," "I'm not gonna try to change myself - if someone comes along that makes me WANT to be less selfish and be around them all the time, ONLY THEN will I settle down" have come true. He makes me want to change just in the important ways. To be better and more put together. To be an adult in an adult relationship that thinks in terms of "we."

There's still this terrified, doubtful part of me that keeps praying for him to please not change his mind and flake and back out and leave me sitting on my couch all alone on Monday when he's supposed to show up with his stuff.... I would never get over that at this point.

I'd say to have faith that everything will be right! He has no reason to bounce back, if you have been dating for a while. You're supposed to trust each other!
I know you're scared, because of the past faliures, but guess what! It's your time now and you deserve good! And it showed up!
Live the moment and stop worrying for the future. Stay happy now, live the present and apreciate the happiness you're getting trough now! Take small steps and apreciate every step forward you take with him.
We can't predict future and human behaviour, but if we don't make long term plans and we don't have high hopes, then we won't be as hurt, if something bad happens. I hope it makes sense, sometimes my english sucks.
I'm not talking about financial stuff, I guess it's already pointless and it's been discussed endlessly about how a woman should be independent financially and always have a backup. I'm talking about emotional investment in a relationship and about expectations from the other.

When you'll move with him, you'll start seeing his flaws and he will see yours. That's where you'll learn to live with each other under the same roof and get to know each other and learn to get over "fights". Eh... relationships :)))

lynn2009
09-03-2018, 08:36 PM
I feel kind of bad about DF, the man tries so hard to keep me happy but I'm just not into it.

charlie61
09-09-2018, 07:41 PM
This thread is kind of adorable.

lynn2009
09-19-2018, 07:16 PM
I really want to be done dealing with DF but everytime I even think about telling him I feel like I might as well kick a puppy,

lynn2009
09-21-2018, 03:59 PM
I really want to be done dealing with DF but everytime I even think about telling him I feel like I might as well kick a puppy,

I did it today over text like a jerk high schooler.

Girly_Girl
10-04-2018, 06:32 PM
best place to meet guys online? I've always been on pof but I never have much luck there. Any better options for meeting someone?

Elektra Luxx
10-26-2018, 09:23 AM
Note to bf:

I don't care if you believe it or not, when I asked you if things are going to be okay I want you to say that it will be okay... I need for you to say that things are going to be okay!!! I don't need a practical answer from you all the time. I know things are complicated and there are no guarantees in life. Just give me that when I fucking need it!!! Fuck you piss me off with your practical answers all the fucking time!!! And yes you're right most of the fucking time, but jyst fucking humour me. I m fucking losing it!!!!!

Elektra Luxx
10-29-2018, 02:46 PM
When bf and I started dating he started telling me that he loved me. I told him that what he's feeling is not love, it's lust and it's okay because I liked him too and we're having fun. And he'd say "No, I love you" and I'd smile and fuck his brains out. I always said that I did better in relationships that were physical and not emotional. Not so much anymore.

lynn2009
10-29-2018, 02:55 PM
When bf and I started dating he started telling me that he loved me. I told him that what he's feeling is not love, it's lust and it's okay because I liked him too and we're having fun. And he'd say "No, I love you" and I'd smile and fuck his brains out. I always said that I did better in relationships that were physical and not emotional. Not so much anymore.

This is so sweet

Aurora_Sunset
11-16-2018, 05:03 PM
I'm starting to feel like a grumpy housewife. Whenever bf leaves and I have time to tidy up the apartment, there's always the stupid little things that really irk me. Like I bought a letter holder to put right by the door to solve the problem of random piles of mail everywhere, but today I find 6 random piles of mail in different places... I bought 2 bathroom caddies to keep our stuff organized on our sides of the counter, but all his stuff is sitting outside it instead of being put back in... like, come on, man, it's 2 inches away!

But then I stop and try to remind myself that he's coming from living in a really nice house in one of the nicest parts of the city, to suddenly living in a tiny 1-bedroom apartment, where most of his stuff is still in unorganized bags in the attic because all my shit barely fit as is, and I was never fully able to downsize to giving him half the space.... and he's never complained... so if I have to move a few piles of mail that he doesn't "put away" properly, is it really throwing my life into chaos to handle these small things about living with another person? *sigh* Trying to grow and not just think of me and myself in my little hermit cave where everything was always exactly the way I wanted it.

Elektra Luxx
05-09-2019, 12:53 PM
I've loss track of exactly how long my bf and I have been exclusive and I can't ask him because he'll know exactly the down to the minute how long.

Elektra Luxx
08-06-2019, 02:09 PM
Okay...so here's something I never thought I'd say...(whew!, is it hot in here?) Okay...here we go...I'm all in with this relationship. Bf has been and continues to be absolutely wonderful while I've been sick. He takes care of me, sets my doctor appointments, takes me to appointments, fills out my paperwork and all I have to do is have sex with him 3 or 4 times a week. What a sucker! (I've got the Voodoo clam, beyotch!!!) Anywhoo, I know he's going to be around and I really love him and he really loves me. I miss him when were not together. The sex is the best not so much because he's amazing at sex, but because I gave him my heart and my heart is full of love for him.

He'll will break my heart like no one else has before if he were to cheat on me. That said, I know myself. I'm still insanely jealous and will completely go off on a bitch, if she looks at him for longer than 2 seconds.

BTW, I still don't want to get married.

**Didn't I just say "I'm all in."**

Elektra Luxx
08-29-2019, 03:16 PM
So were at a comfortable point in our relationship where Bf will approach me occasionally with something that he wants to try in the bedroom. He'll say something like "Can we try (insert something here that he saw, read, a friend of him told about or something he dreamed up when he was 15 years old). And I'm like "Of course, I live only to please you, my body is a wonderland". So we're trying "the something" and he says "How does that feel? Does that feel good?" I say "I love everything you do, but there are some things I love more than others".