View Full Version : NEW 2018 DATING Adventures Thread
seashell
11-05-2018, 01:59 PM
I totally know what you mean about feeling spent... it takes so much energy to get through a first date!
I'm going on a 6 hour international bus ride tomorrow, to hang out with bae... who I'm not really sure is my bae. God I hate being a millennial, other people my age are so weird about labels. Just tell me if you're my boyfriend or not, for Christ's sake! lol
He's being really sweet and offered to pick me up at the bus station (he doesn't have a car, he'd just show up in person). But I'm so independent, I can't even take that seriously. I've been there sooo many times by myself, it sounds laughable to have a guy show up.
It feels like a lot of pressure since we're long distance right now. I really hope this goes well, and we have a nice relaxing fun time :)
carmen_b
11-05-2018, 02:43 PM
^ I vote let him show up. It’s cute! Plus practical ( someone to grab your pack or bag for you even if it's a short walk ) !
carmen_b
11-05-2018, 09:53 PM
So ..... the hot tall teacher is pretty eccentric.
He doesn't have a cell phone.
As a ( often frazzled ) small business owner ..... I was jealous as he was explaining the choice to me!
That is OLD SCHOOL man ..... but he took me on one of the nicest dates I've been on in FOREVER and he seems so gentle and not creepy.
He is an urban gardener ( over 25 fruit tree varieties and tons of produce that he does during the summer ).
We bonded quick over what we grow / what we have failed on ect.
Arialandre
11-06-2018, 04:50 AM
Well, I haven't hidden my online profile yet but I've either deleted or blocked almost everyone that's contacted me because everyone sucks. Though that's probably a good thing since I'm not ready for a whole serious thing anyway. Why waste finding the perfect man now right?
Work Away guy comes home tomorrow. We've talked every day for the two weeks he was away. We're supposed to get together this Thursday.
carmen_b
11-06-2018, 10:25 AM
^ Can’t wait to hear about it. :)
Maybe you need a break.
I had to hide mine because I realized dating more than 2 eves a week stresses me out.
carmen_b
11-06-2018, 11:45 AM
I'm Hot for Teacher. Hahaha.
I have been thinking today about all the little touch moments we had ( greeting hug , knees touching each other here and there during drinks, awesome hug, linking his fingers with mine saying goodbye ).
He sent me a note this morning that he would love to see me again and that it was very hard to say goodbye to me. ;)
Vyanka
11-06-2018, 11:51 AM
I don't want to date until Venus retrograde is completely gone.
carmen_b
11-06-2018, 03:36 PM
^ hmmmm
Maybe I should look that up.
Looked it up! Oddly ... I'm doing a lot of what it recommends .... taking things slowly / cautiously currently. Less tech ( I've already hidden profile on the site AND I call everyone instead of texting at least once ).
carmen_b
11-06-2018, 03:41 PM
http://astrostyle.com/venus-retrograde-2018/
carmen_b
11-07-2018, 01:58 PM
I had an akward date last night with M.
It was someone I had chatted with a couple weeks and I felt a little bad about not meeting.
He wasn't 6'4" like he said ( maybe 6'1" though ) .
It just had this odd vibe ( to me ). He wanted to meet an go for a walk which seemed fine . There is a park near me that is great but our meeting time was after sunset.
It was cold so I suggested the tea house near it.
When I got there, he already had his own tea ( this is the kind of place where it's fun to smell them / pick together and then share a pot ). We were chatting and I was comfy and he seemed to not be, haha. He mentioned the walk thing again so we did it ...... in the cold.
Meh.
I guess I got really lucky initially with only great dates. Dumb luck. I don't think we will be in touch. His pictures made him look really big and he wasn't tiny but his overall vibe was so much meeker than the pictures. He just reeks of hesitation overall but maybe I made a new friend out of it.
carmen_b
11-07-2018, 05:24 PM
^ Ha. I'm still mad 24 hours later. What was wrong with this guy that he couldn't sit in a comfortable place and share a pot of tea?
Meanwhile, tall teacher has already arranged another date for us tomorrow and smoothly given me the time / place he picked / and where to meet him. It's pretty easy to see a clear winner here.
Arialandre
11-08-2018, 06:10 AM
^Boooo M, yay tall teacher! I would have been so bummed if I got to the tea house and found out that he had already picked a tea, because that sounds like it would have been a fun date idea to pick it out together.
Glamourmilf
11-08-2018, 08:47 AM
I'm participating in this thread.
I've given up online dating, and have decided to meet guys organically.
Now that the weather is great, and it's event season where I live, why not?
I met this guy (mid 40's), while leaving one of my grief groups.
He approached me, and after chatting for a bit, exchanged numbers.
He starts right away with the constant texting. Begging to see me. Asking for cuddle time, and for me to cook him dinner. ( I mentioned that I'm writing a cook book).
He's very possessive. Asking why I'm always online, and on social media. Asking how many guys I'm seeing. Ha! As if! I don't play that.
He doesn't know what I do for a living. ( Only because he never asked).
I've kept him at bay for a couple of months.
But, now that I've decided not to hang out with my flakey gay guys, there's room to explore other avenues.
I already know that he's a needy, pain in the ass. But, I'm going to challenge myself to see how far I can get him to go.
Having been around, I already know that men's only intention is to get a woman into bed.
I'll report back.
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 10:58 AM
^ What ?!?
Do men not really know the “ formula “?
Ask a lady OUT 3-5 days ahead of time. Text or call a little ( not too much - so important )!
Build some anticipation. Don’t be a needy weirdo. Haha
seashell
11-08-2018, 11:19 AM
I'm currently at bae's place in Croatia. We've had a pretty good time, wandered around the city, had some naughty fun... but I feel like something is off. It's been calm and quiet and not very eventful. Maybe because we're both introverts? Maybe this is what normal relationships are like, and I'm not used to it...
I like his company, he's a really sweet guy, but I also have this voice in the back of my head saying that this is not going to work out. We really need to have a talk about what we want, if we're exclusive, and what the future might hold. He's going to move back to the US in January, and doesn't know where in the country he'll end up after this year. He also talks about his ex all the time, which is just... ew.
In the past, we said we'd take things one day at a time, but I think realistically that's too much of a fuck buddy situation for me. I want to know if he's actually into me, and wants more, or if I should just move on and start seeing people without all the long-distance probs.
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 05:55 PM
Ew ( the ex thing ) ^
Mucho jealous of wandering Croatia with a lover though, life list for me absolutely.
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 05:56 PM
I go to meet Teacher in about 90 min. !
I can kiss him right ? ( 2nd date )
Our first date was 5 hours or so - pretty long !
This dude deserves a patience award. It was a 5 day wait to see me on the first date and then a 5-6 day wait on this one.
Arialandre
11-08-2018, 11:48 PM
So Work Away guy came over and we had some of the WORST sex I have ever had in my whole life. Selfish (him) and over REALLY fast (obviously also him). *le sigh*. Like it was so bad that it literally killed 99% of my attraction to him. I honestly don't give a fuck if he never contacts me again.
Which is such a bummer because everything leading up to it over the past few weeks was so much fun. We've had 2-3 weeks of teasing and mental foreplay and the making out but NOT having sex was SUPER HOT every time. But this was terrible. And what's even more weird, is that tonight he was actually more talkative and open about his life with me, both before and after we had sex. Like, chatty. He's never really been "chatty" and I had honestly been wondering if he just wasn't that kind of talker or if he just didn't want to be that way with me.
And having him be open and chatty with me about casual life stuff was something that I had really been fingers crossed wanting to see from him.
But what the FUCK was with the terrible sex tonight? And I can understand the whole "building it up in your head" thing, and the "sometimes it takes a few times to find your rhythm" thing, but it's not like we had gone from zero to sex. I had very hot experiences to base it off of. And like, all of that shit was missing. Ugh, I'm so disappointed.
Damn, the one night I allowed him to set the pace. See, this is what happens when you allow a guy to take the lead. They fuck it up.
If anyone needs me I'll be online getting paid to tell men how fucking useless they are.
*P.S. And I'm pretty sure his dick is one of, if not the largest I've ever gotten my hand on. OMG I want to cry from the waste of it all!
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 11:51 PM
Noooooooooooooo. ^^^
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 11:51 PM
I hope you come back and tell us he got you off 5-6 times after you posted this !! Ugh!!!!
carmen_b
11-08-2018, 11:57 PM
Bad luck here too .
We didn’t organize well and ended up Red Robin ( which I hate but didn’t want to be a diva).
We were both tired. I hope we can laugh it off.
He started talking about his new bed ( a California king ) and asking what size my bed was which I thought was going to segway into a “ let’s watch a show and cuddle “ conversation ..... but we didn’t quite get there. We were very near his place so I thought he might invite me over for a drink ( to kiss mostly ) .
He’s a gentleman. I think he was putting feelers out with the bed talk and then got nervous .
I just sent a message that said “ Thanks for meeting with me again. We should do something mellow sometime like watch a show and maybe cuddle “ .
:/
Arialandre
11-09-2018, 12:47 AM
Update: Just noticed that his profile is gone from my message list on my dating account. Ummmm pretty sure he's just fucking BLOCKED me. Because I seriously doubt that he deleted his profile. Of course it could be that he did it earlier and I'm only noticing it now because I didn't go online at all today. But I SERIOUSLY doubt that he deleted or hid his profile from search soooo..... fucked and blocked? Probably.
Him: Kisses me goodbye, "I'll text you"
Also Him 5 minutes later: *BLOCKED*
HAHAHAHAHA!
We're also on each other's messenger and have each there's phone numbers but...
There's also the possibility that he WILL keep in touch with me but blocked me so that I can't see when he's online trying to hook up with other people.
When it comes to guys I've become a realist. I've been in the adult industry too long and have seen WAY too much of the crazy shit that guys do to actually trust any of them to not have shady as fuck anterior motives.
This is the situation I do NOT expect.
Him: *contacts me*
Us: "Chat....chat...chat..."
Me: Oh hey, I was deleting a bunch of messages from my "dating site" account today and noticed that your profile was gone from my list. What happened?
Him: Oh, I deleted it after we had sex because I'm not looking to talk to anyone else now.
*EYEROLL*
It's a lovely thought but I think I'd rather brace my self for the cold harsh reality of "never gonna hear from him again."
And let's not bring up the whole, "but weren't you going to not talk to him again anyway?" Because we ALL know that I'd rather be the one to shut him down than to let him think he played me.
Ugh, guys suck.
carmen_b
11-09-2018, 09:06 AM
Ugh ! ^
Maybe he panicked at his speed / lack of performance.
The carpenter did that too. His 2nd handjob was a 15 second one I swear haha.
Stick to your instincts ! You were disappointed he wasn’t taking you out anyway.
carmen_b
11-09-2018, 09:11 AM
A : Are you using POF ? My profile is hidden from search but I’m hoping the people I’ve messaged already can still see it.
Arialandre
11-09-2018, 09:19 AM
^Hahaha, he did apologize for the speed when it was happening.
I feel extra down today. Way bummed out. Not really about HIM, so much as... I've been really stressed out and kind of "avoiding" things for months. And I think that this whole situation was the disappointment I needed for me to say, "Yup, I feel like shit. I've BEEN feeling like shit. And you can all go fuck yourselves while I sit here, eat ice-cream, and wallow in a little well deserved self pity for a while so that I can REALLY move on."
So I think I'm going to hide my profile today and just avoid anything with a penis for a while.
carmen_b
11-09-2018, 10:48 AM
There is something that is so overwhelming and exhausting about online dating.
It’s ok to step back and take a break.
Arialandre
11-09-2018, 11:10 AM
There is something that is so overwhelming and exhausting about online dating.
It’s ok to step back and take a break.
Oh it's not the dating that's overwhelming me, it's every single other thing going on in my life, hahaha, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. And now that my back is officially broken I've decided that dating is getting the axe because I REALLY don't want to bother with it right now.
carmen_b
11-09-2018, 01:19 PM
I’m agitated I still haven’t seen what I know is probably a 6 ( or 8 ) pack on hot teacher. You can feel his back muscles hugging him.
He’s a runner / hiker / huge into fitness . Hopefully if I’m patient next week will result in more exciting posts here.
:)
seashell
11-10-2018, 03:05 PM
^Omg I can't wait to hear about that body ;D
So I really liked the Serbian guy, but something is definitely holding me back. I stayed at his place for 5 days, and it was nice -- he can be such a sweetheart -- but I just told him last night that I think we should stop seeing each other. We both travel too much, and I think we're both still getting over our exes.
But after we talked about it, and how it might be our last night together, we cuddled and then had some amazing sex. This morning, he was really sweet, made me breakfast, walked me to the bus station, carried my suitcase... and texted me a lot today. I just sent short texts back, because I genuinely don't think it's a good idea to keep up the constant all-day communication that we had before. He's a good guy, just not quite right for me. I hope we can stay friends and keep in touch. Maybe we'll meet again, who knows. I'd be friends with benefits, but he lives so far away, lol. I'm just glad he made our goodbye as painless as possible.
carmen_b
11-10-2018, 07:09 PM
You are so wise to just " know " something isn't 100% right and act on it. I need to learn to pay much better attention to those subtle feelings.
I feel like I sometimes give too much leeway like " it might be on track to somewhere " when I should be more honest and just admit things are not right.
carmen_b
11-10-2018, 08:05 PM
^ I'm nervous with teacher . I calm down by remembering that he reached me initially .
I sent that “ maybe next time we can be mellow and watch a show / cuddle “ message.
No kiss on date 2 but the mood wasn’t right either. ;/
I’m stressing because he hasn’t replied.
Update : Replied . He’s fine with the cuddling idea. :)
I’m in the desert chilling out after a crazy work weekend.
Arialandre
11-12-2018, 11:27 AM
^ Loving this. I'm glad he's cool with cuddling.
And awwwww, I want to chill in the desert, that sounds like fun!
Arialandre
11-12-2018, 01:23 PM
Soooooo I’m going to need all of you ladies to just line up and slap me, one by one, as hard as you bloody can. Because I am a god damned idiot. I mean, are dicks like drugs? Do we just get addicted to dudes somehow, even when we know it’s the WORST. IDEA. EVER.
So Work Away guy has some pics of me. Nothing crazy, but hot enough that I wanted him to delete them the day after we had sex because “fuck that guy, he doesn’t deserve them after blocking me”. So I text him and ask him to delete them and he’s surprised and asks if I’m mad at him but agrees. Anyway, I bring up his blocking me and that if he was going to ghost me I wanted to ask him to delete my pics while I could still get ahold of him. He says he didn’t and he was amazed I thought he would ever do something like that to me. So then I started doubting myself. And I ended up spending the damn weekend CRYING! And then THEN it turns out the the site auto deletes message threads after a month of inactivity.
So after a month of having tons of fun, we have terrible sex, which could have been an awkward first time fluke, and then I accuse him of acting like a horrible person and it turns out he WASN’T. I was just so busy trying to protect myself that I just text bitch slapped him based on circumstantial evidence.
Then he didn’t speak to me for three days and I was certain that I was never going to here from him again. And this morning I take a shower and realize I’m finally at peace with it. I’m at peace with it all going down in flames, and the realization that I have hardcore trust issues. And I’m feeling all zen and ready to move forward. And then FIFTEEN minutes later I’m cozy in my bed and he TEXTS ME.
And I KNOW that I should just let it die. But suddenly I desperately didn’t want to lose him because how the hell has he not completely written me off after all the crazy I’ve thrown at him over the last month? (Ummm this wasn’t my first crazy, just the worst *cough*).
So yes ladies. I see the flaming nuclear apocalypse of a dating fiasco I am walking straight towards, but I just. Can’t. Stop. HELP!
seashell
11-13-2018, 03:07 AM
Soooooo I’m going to need all of you ladies to just line up and slap me, one by one, as hard as you bloody can. Because I am a god damned idiot. I mean, are dicks like drugs? Do we just get addicted to dudes somehow, even when we know it’s the WORST. IDEA. EVER.
So Work Away guy has some pics of me. Nothing crazy, but hot enough that I wanted him to delete them the day after we had sex because “fuck that guy, he doesn’t deserve them after blocking me”. So I text him and ask him to delete them and he’s surprised and asks if I’m mad at him but agrees. Anyway, I bring up his blocking me and that if he was going to ghost me I wanted to ask him to delete my pics while I could still get ahold of him. He says he didn’t and he was amazed I thought he would ever do something like that to me. So then I started doubting myself. And I ended up spending the damn weekend CRYING! And then THEN it turns out the the site auto deletes message threads after a month of inactivity.
So after a month of having tons of fun, we have terrible sex, which could have been an awkward first time fluke, and then I accuse him of acting like a horrible person and it turns out he WASN’T. I was just so busy trying to protect myself that I just text bitch slapped him based on circumstantial evidence.
Then he didn’t speak to me for three days and I was certain that I was never going to here from him again. And this morning I take a shower and realize I’m finally at peace with it. I’m at peace with it all going down in flames, and the realization that I have hardcore trust issues. And I’m feeling all zen and ready to move forward. And then FIFTEEN minutes later I’m cozy in my bed and he TEXTS ME.
And I KNOW that I should just let it die. But suddenly I desperately didn’t want to lose him because how the hell has he not completely written me off after all the crazy I’ve thrown at him over the last month? (Ummm this wasn’t my first crazy, just the worst *cough*).
So yes ladies. I see the flaming nuclear apocalypse of a dating fiasco I am walking straight towards, but I just. Can’t. Stop. HELP!
I feel ya, girl. This is usually me! It really is like an addiction or a high that you get from dating. Especially if there is drama.
He doesn't sound that bad? But I can understand wanting to protect yourself from a disaster that's about to hit. Maybe you need to start talking to other guys, distract yourself, try not to talk to him for at least a few days.
I distanced myself a bit from the Serbian guy, although we still text every day. I think this is going to become more of a friends-with-benefits thing. I'm probably going to go back to his city soon, to take care of a few things, and I hope that we're able to have a good time. He became a much more fun person once we decided we weren't dating. XD
I also started talking to some Serbian chicks on Tinder. (Why is everyone here so hot?) Maybe one of these days I'll finally let my bi side come out. :)
carmen_b
11-13-2018, 10:13 AM
^ I switched my Tinder to both genders recently as well. Nothing yet, but I'm very open too meet a lady friend ( it's been 10 years though ! ) .
carmen_b
11-13-2018, 10:15 AM
Ari :
Demand this dude take you out PRONTO. You were irritated at his bad behavior not taking you on real dates.
Hint or just say that this is what you want. I think some time out of the house could benefit you guys. Get to know each other better.
I wouldn't write him off just for finishing fast haha. Just re-start 20 minutes later and he might last longer especially if the lead up was HOT.
Stop the obsessing though. Don't sweat this guy. Wait 1-2 days sometimes before returning his messages.
Add a " back up " player to your dating team ! Ha.
carmen_b
11-13-2018, 01:34 PM
I'm only mid-way to my physical overhaul to go from working outside to going to my city life . I'm finally shaved / scrubbed / deep hair conditioner is in. That's a start.
I came back quite gross this time and it's going to take some serious maintenance.
I'll work on nails today myself and get a pedi tomorrow before seeing Teach.
I swear sometimes going on these remote work trips just makes me lose me mind.
I can not wait to be settled in my city for a few weeks. I am such a scrub right now.
charlie61
11-13-2018, 02:05 PM
^For some reason I'm getting a weird vibe from Teacher. It's throwing me off that he's moving so slowly. Like, I'm asexual, and even I'd be open to a kiss on the first or second date, if the connection is there. Is he in a relationship? Seems oddly prude. Something just seems off?
Loving your posts!
carmen_b
11-13-2018, 03:30 PM
^ I think it's actually me.
I was in a weird phase with work where I was only in my city two days out of each of the last two weeks.
carmen_b
11-13-2018, 10:50 PM
The carpenter was here. What a giant snooze fest. Yawn. ;/
I had a nice little hit of bud . He's not nearly as fun to hang out when not making out with.
I won't see him again. We said friendship and cuddles but that was lame cuddling.
carmen_b
11-14-2018, 03:08 PM
Ah Charlie :
You might have called it on the Teacher.
He just sent me this:
"I'm sorry , I don't think it's a good idea for us to hang out this evening. I have enjoyed your company and thought we got things off to a good start, but I met someone else, and I think it would be best to focus on one relationship at a time. I wasn't absolutely certain that things were really taking off with this person until this morning, but it seems like I'm no longer an entirely single guy. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a partner."
I don't think there is much I can do at this point.
I just sent a note along the lines of " Ah, such a bummer. I'm very attracted to you and hoped things would move forward ".
I let him know my schedule is much easier to deal with now.
I did the best I could. I was only open a limited time. We saw each other Nov. 4 and Nov. 9 after meeting online about Oct. 27-29 ish.
We had plans to see each other today and he cancelled.
carmen_b
11-14-2018, 05:20 PM
Teach was hard to track online.
I found his bio from the school he teaches at online but I hate it when you can't easily Google someone ( it took a little work to find it and confirm he is who he said he was ) .
I dropped him off before so I could search ( see if married ect. ) by address but probably won’t do anything.
charlie61
11-14-2018, 10:25 PM
Ah Charlie :
You might have called it on the Teacher.
I'm so disappointed.
He just sent me this:
I'm sorry , I don't think it's a good idea for us to hang out this evening. I have enjoyed your company and thought we got things off to a good start, but I met someone else, and I think it would be best to focus on one relationship at a time. I wasn't absolutely certain that things were really taking off with this person until this morning, but it seems like I'm no longer an entirely single guy. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a partner.
I don't think there is much I can do at this point.
I just sent a note along the lines of " Ah, such a bummer. I'm very attracted to you and hoped things would move forward ".
I let him know my schedule is much easier to deal with now.
I did the best I could. I was only open a limited time. We saw each other Nov. 4 and Nov. 9 after meeting online about Oct. 27-29 ish.
We made plans yesterday to see each other today and it sounds like someone may have made the physical move first or maybe you were right Charlie that he was already involved.
I can't really do much more on it at this point .
I'm so sorry to hear this!! :( :hug:
He wasn't the right one. Sounded more like a trophy from your description, you know? Someone you wanted because they're hot and they 'have potential', but in reality you aren't losing anything! But i get it... it's hard to let those catches go! I hope you remember that you deserve someone who's both good looking AND super into you. Teacher doesn't fulfill the criteria! ♡
carmen_b
11-14-2018, 11:29 PM
^ Hmmmmm
Well ...... I obsessed a bit this afternoon after his email because he didn't CHOOSE me.
carmen_b
11-15-2018, 08:43 PM
The teacher surfaced and emailed. I told him I was planning to make a physical move that day and that if things were not at a sexual level yet ( just making out ) with the other person to just come over anyway and we could cuddle / talk. I gave him my address.
I made it clear in the email I had sent to consider me as a serious option ( that I work a normal 9-5 now instead of being gone 40-% - 50% of the time and I that I now have weekends free ).
He wrote back with the gist of things being that he regretted putting things on pause with me .
Arialandre
11-16-2018, 05:38 PM
I found myself totally missing Work Away guy today. We decided to take a step back on Monday but it feels like a freaking month ago. Longest week of my damn life. So obviously I did the only logical thing I could do. I entered into an arrangement with a potential long(ish) term "sugar daddy". It's pay per meet but no sex, just sexy massage and release. So tonight I'm now a couple hundred dollars and a really nice bottle of wine richer and a whole ton of boy drama poorer. Thank god. I swear, the only relationships that don't drive me crazy are the ones where men throw money at me and tell me how incredible I am.
Note: The wine is really delicious and I may have drank that last glass a bit fast. May have to turn off and hide my phone to keep me from drunk texting Work Away guy. Damn you emotions!!!
carmen_b
11-16-2018, 06:44 PM
Isn't it so funny when something just doesn't QUITE hit the spot ?
I almost want to say just take the good ( you loved fooling around with him but not the sex ) so just do that but I'm sure you have your reasons why you don't want to. Your other arrangement sounds nice and straight forward.
carmen_b
11-18-2018, 10:40 PM
Ugh, teacher messaged.
Talk some sense into me !!
Arialandre
11-19-2018, 11:53 AM
Ugh, teacher messaged.
Talk some sense into me !!
Either he puts you first or to hell with him!!
carmen_b
11-19-2018, 03:07 PM
I’m not even opening it till 6p.m. when I'm done working ( I work in commission sales , my man drama has derailed my hustle before ).