View Full Version : 2019 DATING Adventures Thread (2018 continuation)
miss.a.p1600
07-23-2019, 07:17 PM
^wilderness adventures sound interesting
The old dude asked to meet up tomorrow. I wonder what it will be.
I don't think the dude I've known since college will ask me out since he said his birthday was a couple weeks ago and I think he is expecting me to pay next time we meet up.....it might be a little while before I do that lol so I may not see him for a minute. I feel a bit guilty cause of all the days to pay for a dude their birthday should be one --- but eh! It's not like he's my bf or we are seriously/exclusively dating so Ill figure out something sometime soon.
I probably need to get at least 1 more dude on my dating roster so I can feel more of an abundance of men and not worry about much if one of them acts up
carmen_b
07-23-2019, 07:31 PM
^ I am down to 1. ;)
I sometimes worry I will mess it up too without distractions but it's really hard to get to know someone spread thin with little time to hang out.
I'm toast today because we were up so late. I'm still charmed by him and how organized he was in meeting me ( chatted a couple of days and as soon as he got my # he asked me to drinks ..... no endless texting ... refreshing ). It was my schedule that created a 5 day wait on the drinks .
miss.a.p1600
07-23-2019, 07:43 PM
^yeah I remember watching the male dating coach/pua type coach saying that he only sees women once a week cause he's so busy with work and spending time with a few other women on his dating roster
Yes I loathe endless texting with no plans no calls etc
carmen_b
07-23-2019, 07:48 PM
^ The thing is ..... I don't think it works ( only offering once a week ). It works for a few weeks ( not being overly needy at first ) but it feels off to almost all women I talk to. My friends and I discussed this on Saturday.
I don't know how women could stand this for more than 3 weeks.
I will say though .....initially ..... it's very enticing when a guy doesn't have a lot of time right away especially when they are doing the initiating but are not in your hair constantly.
miss.a.p1600
07-23-2019, 08:29 PM
^hmmm interesting.....
The old guy mentioned at our 2nd date since our 9 month hiatus that he wanted to hang out more than once a week....
In my mind that just doesnt seem feasible to me and like im sacrificing - like a sacrifice id only do once im already in a relationship. But then again i guess i contradict myself cause how can one get into a relationship if the two people don't spend time getting to know one another, do things together, and be in each others presence
Maybe im weird or I just need to be more open minded or something. If a guy presses me to spend more than once a week then he's going to have to have the qualifications and be ready to step towards committed/exclusive relationship.
carmen_b
07-24-2019, 01:42 PM
Yeah , I would say I’d prefer the increase to twice a week to happen around week 3-4 as that “ midpoint “ between casually dating and relationship .
Mr. NY is very independent . I will not even suggest twice a week until he does or I’ve known him at least 5-6 weeks.
I thought he might have written me off but he was being very forward last time about his relationship quirks ( he says he shows affection and love but is less wordy than the norm and it’s caused issues before ). He was cute because he was telling me these things in a beautiful moment ( holding hands looking at the stars ) and told me I could “ get out now “ if any of the quirks were deal breakers.
carmen_b
07-24-2019, 08:23 PM
;/ With the sexy time fail on Monday ..... I wish he would reach out tonight ( wed. ) or tomorrow for a re-do. I can't reach out this soon . Bleh.
On the other hand ..... when I had sent him the " I'm horny s.o.s. " message he was really fast and responsive .
?
miss.a.p1600
07-24-2019, 09:04 PM
^ you can’t break your own 5 weeks till twice a week rule lol! Or have you known him more than 5 weeks?
Old dude failed to adequately plan this date we were supposed to have today. So we are going to try again - I guess he thinks last minute plans for dates are spontaneous and fun but I need 24 hr advanced planning damnit! Not sure if I’ll suggest a lunch tomorrow or just wait till weekend or something
carmen_b
07-24-2019, 09:07 PM
I have to stick to my guns here ........ the only day " left " for him will be Sunday.
I really do need to get back to the club Fri. and Sat.
I was going to make an exception and work just one club day this weekend .......... not now.
He's very sweet and I can't really fault him too much for not being an aggressive pursuer ( he was at first ) . I really do hope it's not too late ( I very clearly chose wrong out of the two ). We did keep in touch via texts.
Maybe I do need to add a 2nd person into the mix ....... but it seems unethical to me ( or riding that line ). I do have a very hard time only getting physical affection once a week. I was hoping when I told him on Mon. that I was horny " always " he would take the clue and continue to plan the weekly dates ..... but maybe offer some attention in between in addition.
carmen_b
07-24-2019, 09:43 PM
I think I'm just in a state of paranoia too because I want to make sure the sexy times with him are great on their own ...... not just when I'm in a rage of anger about a person who greatly disappointed me and climbing up the walls from being horny / neglected. I don't regret sending him that s.o.s. text ( and certainly don't blame him either for taking advantage ).
miss.a.p1600
07-25-2019, 10:00 AM
^ you can’t break your own 5 weeks till twice a week rule lol! Or have you known him more than 5 weeks?
Old dude failed to adequately plan this date we were supposed to have today. So we are going to try again - I guess he thinks last minute plans for dates are spontaneous and fun but I need 24 hr advanced planning damnit! Not sure if I’ll suggest a lunch tomorrow or just wait till weekend or something
Well he called me up today I was thinking to confirm our date but he started ranting about how expensive his dental work was. Obviously surgeons are going to be charging $$$$
Like dude! Why would you think complaining to me about money is attractive?
Maybe he cannot afford this date since he spent a good chunk of change at the oral surgeon. I’m starting to wonder about how good he is managing his finances or if he just complains if something goes over x amount of dollars at one time.
Im also starting to wonder about his intelligence level like is he senile or something cause he said he got a quote that was cheaper but chose the more expensive place without asking them about the cost and comparing it beforehand. Smdh!!!
carmen_b
07-25-2019, 10:17 AM
^ Aw. ;/
I think the main thing to consider ( Mr. Disappointment did this too ) ....... is that in the courting phase ...... complaining is a big NO .
He would write to say he was stressed ( time / life mismanagement ). It's a turn off . There is a place for it ( in a more established partnership ).
carmen_b
07-27-2019, 10:09 AM
I bet Mr. Disappointment wishes he WOULDN'T have contacted me. Lol.
He said something like " You still alive ? " yesterday. So I said " alive ".
He went back into his bullshit ( how busy he is ..... barf ) and it triggered me. I let him have it.
Told him I couldn't believe how HE brought up the twice a week idea and them IMMEDIATELY failed to provide what he said ( he only did twice a week ONE week ... the first in July ). So I ripped him for that. Then I ripped him for running out of my house like a baby when he was here last ( providing no physical attention ).
Then I ripped him for not scheduling with me before my trip OR right after it.
I told him " You either want a relationship and make time for it or you don't ".
He is sending more about " it's not black and white " and " my life was crazy for a few weeks " so I ripped him again for not taking initiative ( such as scheduling a week ahead to at least show interest / get something on the calendar ).
carmen_b
07-27-2019, 10:22 AM
I am feeling such a heavy " loss " feeling again. It's approaching the anniversary with the 7 year ex ( Aug. 5 ) and I knew I'd struggle. We always celebrated our anniversary as the day we met. I am feeling pain again ( sense of loss ) . I sometimes just can't believe what happened ( his mid life crisis thing and leaving me for an ex who LEFT him in 2006 or 2007 after only knowing him for 10 months ). It was just bad in the end ( I thought I was sick and hormones were off ..... I had no sexual interest in him ).
I just see ALL these mistakes we made.
My next strategy is just to END the " hunt " . It'll mean no more time investment in terms of chit chat and meeting new people ..... at least temporarily.
lurkingtitties
07-27-2019, 02:00 PM
He went back into his bullshit ( how busy he is ..... barf ) and it triggered me so I just let him have it.
That was a long time coming
carmen_b
07-27-2019, 02:05 PM
^ I cut if off before ( two weeks ago roughly ).... but yeah ... I don’t think he ever got the verbal ass whooping he deserved . I do feel lighter today now that I think about it .
miss.a.p1600
07-28-2019, 09:45 AM
Well for your ex of 7 years you did the best you could n made the best decisions you knew how at that time.
At least now you can use that experience (what to do/not do) for your next relationship
I made myself go out to my friends party yesterday and enjoyed myself - since old dude has not asked me out lately
carmen_b
07-28-2019, 10:45 AM
^ Thanks. I try to learn the lessons of the long term ex. I was a workaholic admittedly and am more balanced now ( which is funny because Mr. Disappointment if he isn't lying is worse than I ever was ).
I do get stuck sometimes on the " unfairness " of it . I was LEFT ......while he got a NEW relationship . Granted .... 7-8 months I think of that relationship was long distance and I never would have lasted in that situation.
I'm kind of bored with Mr. NY ( I'm learning that when things don't transition into a couple times a week after 3-4 weeks I feel " meh " ). That said ....... gonna stick it out figuring people sometimes move at different speeds and I can certainly keep in touch and just consider it a " light " thing. Respond to HIS effort ( if there is any ) but not put any out. I will not meet any new people. I will be at the club Tues. / Wed. , have an acting job on Thursday , then club again Fri. / Sat .
This way, my week is full, I'm not sitting around bored.
I do find it kind of funny that I am regularly approached for sex for pay at the club and I can't seem to find anyone who will fuck me ( for free ) as much as I'd like . It just is what it is and I will roll with it.
JessaJade
07-28-2019, 11:04 AM
I do find it kind of funny as f$&k and ironic that I am regularly approached for sex for pay at the club and I can't seem to find anyone who will fuck me ( for free ) as much as I'd like . It just is what it is and I will roll with it.
LOL, true! WTF is this?
Actually, I'll take the paid encounters. At least they disappear afterwards without games and stress.
carmen_b
07-28-2019, 11:06 AM
^ I might have to entertain some of these offers more seriously.
miss.a.p1600
07-31-2019, 07:30 AM
Went on a date with old dude yesterday.
Started with drinks then he’s like “oh I’m not hungry” so I’m starving like hell but since he wants to go slightly cheap I just order appetizers....and deserts and drinks lol
Anyways I’m guessing he realizes this is the 3rd date since our hiatus (we dated for a good year couple times a month but never slept together) and he’s pulling out all the stops and confessing how he’d like to sleep with me, spend the night together, etc.
In my mind I’m like whoa!!!!
I get the feeling that most women in his past have seduced him because he seems to have zero finesse n seduce women skills. Well I’d say I’ve been slightly seduced by his financial generosity and he is emotionally supportive but not like sexually seduced.
I think I’m going to tell him I only do sex in committed relationships (which technically is true that is my current preference) so that will buy me more time.
carmen_b
08-01-2019, 02:33 PM
I would like to meet the cute butcher ( 6'8'' ..... just my weakness .... I don't know what to say for myself haha ).
Glamourmilf
08-11-2019, 07:23 AM
I'm not looking for a relationship, or even to date.
But, I just wanted to add this for those who are.
Grief groups are a fantastic way to meet men.
I have been attending several different groups, since my mom passed in 2017.
My observation is that most of the men have started dating, even before their spouses body is cold.
Gay, straight.
They're all so helpless without a mate.
Just a suggestion.
It's definitely what I would do, if I were looking.
Also, maybe there are good tips in this book too.51723
51724
Glamourmilf
08-12-2019, 07:56 AM
I'm not looking for a relationship, or even to date.
But, I just wanted to add this for those who are.
Grief groups are a fantastic way to meet men.
I have been attending several different groups, since my mom passed in 2017.
My observation is that most of the men have started dating, even before their spouses body is cold.
Gay, straight.
They're all so helpless without a mate.
Just a suggestion.
It's definitely what I would do, if I were looking.
Also, maybe there are good tips in this book too.51723
51724
51725. I rest my case. Dog, the bounty Hunter on a date. Paparazzi followed the happy couple back to a hotel in LA they were staying at.
51726
carmen_b
08-12-2019, 12:46 PM
;/
Sidenote : I have eaten next to Dog in a Hawaii restaurant and everything about him is true to tv form. Tons of booze / F bombs / smoke breaks. Lol .
^ Good tip glam
carmen_b
08-12-2019, 12:48 PM
K .... I have made some good dating choices this weekend. ;)
I'm scared to share. I swear this damn thread is cursed.
I met with the butcher ( Mr. Alaska ) and dig him.
Today I met with a gent ..... B . Wow ! He's a little intimidating. I think I need to keep some deets close to me while I feel it out more. I was worried about the day time date thing but it was a GREAT conversation. He is interesting and VERY together . There may be travel opportunities. ;)
With B ..... I have a feeling that cutting sex work would be required. It's just a feeling at this point. There is a lot to learn .
He has two daughters and has them 2-3 days a week.
^ Roster FULL.
miss.a.p1600
08-12-2019, 10:41 PM
51725. I rest my case. Dog, the bounty Hunter on a date. Paparazzi followed the happy couple back to a hotel in LA they were staying at.
51726
Wow!
Thats why I’m not putting my future husband in the will. Just my kids and some charities. That trick ain’t gone be wining n dining a broad on my life insurance settlement
Didn’t this lady die just a few weeks ago? Wtf?!?
seashell
08-13-2019, 03:25 AM
The Dog drama, omg... XD
OK, I'm back to talk about N, the Serbian guy I met last year. I was supposed to go to a festival with him, but that didn't work out. He went with his friends, met a hot Instagram model, and they've apparently been road tripping all around Serbia together all month. It didn't take much Instagram stalking to find this, kinda just showed up on my feed. The pics aren't them together, just individually, and occasionally they comment on each other's pics. She was solo traveling and is out of the country now. I don't know if they're just friends or more. I didn't realize how insanely jealous imagining him with another girl would make me, until now.
I was seriously beside myself, crying, feeling like I lost a guy because I kept telling him I'd be back in Serbia for the past 7 months, and being flaky. I really like him. I haven't met anyone else that makes me feel this way.
So I started posting a lot more to my Instagram, thinking maaaybe I would get him thinking about me again. It worked. He messaged me just now, and asked how I'm doing.
I don't know what to do. On the one hand, this guy is the only person I've been really interested in for quite some time. But I feel like my hands are tied, since we live so far away. I don't know if there's any point to telling him how I feel. I can't really do anything about it.
Not to mention, I'm on a new birth control, my hormones are crazy, and I don't want to be a crazy crying bitch if I do end up telling him, lol. Just venting... Will post again if anything happens.
ggminx
08-13-2019, 03:56 AM
I would tell him and ask him how he felt. no reason that you have to start a LDR over it. Even if he didn't feel the same way, at least it's out there and you can know how he felt too, whether the same or not. It's ok to let feelings (requited or not) just be feelings and enjoy the memories ;)
I don't know what to do. On the one hand, this guy is the only person I've been really interested in for quite some time. But I feel like my hands are tied, since we live so far away. I don't know if there's any point to telling him how I feel. I can't really do anything about it.
Glamourmilf
08-13-2019, 06:52 AM
Wow!
Thats why I’m not putting my future husband in the will. Just my kids and some charities. That trick ain’t gone be wining n dining a broad on my life insurance settlement
Didn’t this lady die just a few weeks ago? Wtf?!?
Yes, she did.
That's what I mentioned in my previous post.
Men move on instantly.
They can not be alone.
carmen_b
08-13-2019, 10:04 AM
Seashell : Keep it simple ? Do you like Serbia ? Like him ? Maybe time to get back there a few months.
^ That's my advice but I'm not sure anyone would want to take mind haha based on my long series of dating fails here.
I just want to say that I really feel for you. I know that pain. When B was back in Australia in May and not making the solid plans to get back together ( and me finally taking my head out of the sand about it towards the end of the month ....... such pain ...... damn it ). Not sure about the IG model. I do know those types tend to sort of " use " locals for a free photographer / rides / travel ect. if that's any consolation ( it's very possible she got her pics and rides and local guiding and is now gone ).
Sympathy here, ugh.
seashell
08-13-2019, 01:39 PM
Thanks ladies <3 I do think this Instagram girl travels a lot with guys she meets, based on her photos.
We chatted a bit today, which was nice. I felt validated, like I definitely know he cares. But I don't think he cares in a deep enough way for me to chase him.
I do love Serbia, I plan to live in his city, regardless of what happens with him. I'm thinking about going there soon, looking at homes and getting the visa process started. It would be good to see him and just get a better grasp of what the feelings are.
carmen_b
08-14-2019, 07:17 PM
My new B sells private planes.
That is hot AF. He sometimes goes to deliver a plane.
Take me with on a delivery !! Swoon .
********( NO Quotes please , ill remove details in a few days ).*********
I HAD to do this trip North ( my own trip ... )!
This destination has been on my mind for months.
BUT... I am back in that city in 3-4 days ! I have already turned South to return!
He has asked today to see me when I get back.
I’m already nervous another chick will swoop, ugh.
lurkingtitties
08-14-2019, 08:48 PM
Wow Carmen that’s like your dream dude! Or maybe your dream job? Haha
seashell
08-15-2019, 10:29 AM
That is sooo sexy Carmen... I love a man with an awesome job! Hope he takes you with him!!
OK, I talked to N a bit more... Can't fucking believe this... I booked a trip to Budapest for the last week of August, on a whim a couple days ago. I was sick of stressing out over boys, plus I'm sad because one of my friends is moving away. Figured it would be a fun distraction. Made arrangements to have someone house sit my apartment, everything. I figured I could visit him in nearby Serbia for a couple days. He mentions today that he is going to be in a city near my home that same week, and was wondering if I could come hang out. WTF!!
I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that. We're basically trading places geographically, and both wanted to see each other. I guess it's just not meant to be, lol.
I don't know, I don't think I'm delusional that we both like each other. I mean, I could change my travel dates if I wanted to, but I also don't want to follow him around and look thirsty. I'm sick of stressing over him. Just want to move the fuck on right now.
carmen_b
08-17-2019, 10:52 AM
^ Is your trip refundable or no option to refund at this point ?
carmen_b
08-17-2019, 10:54 AM
I've been back in town a whopping three hours and have managed to get riled up and mad at both dudes for not scheduling with me.
I know I'm just exhausted and this makes no logical sense.
Obviously I will just chill and not send any needy messages. I'm smart enough to do the right thing even though I feel off.
carmen_b
08-17-2019, 01:51 PM
Mr. NY has been silent.
I either lost him on the suggestion to see each other more often or on the dancer disclosure .
I thank him for his service I guess throwing down sexually when I needed it so badly.
I was hoping to experience him a few more times ..... but I guess it's bad timing anyway .
carmen_b
08-17-2019, 02:57 PM
I thought this article was interesting ( the subject of so many of our complaints here ):
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/men-set-a-fucking-day-time-and-place-when-planning-a-date
miss.a.p1600
08-17-2019, 05:47 PM
I thought this article was interesting ( the subject of so many of our complaints here ):
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/men-set-a-fucking-day-time-and-place-when-planning-a-date
Gawd I wish I’d seen it sooner.
Reminds me of that guy I had a crush on from work and how his bitch ass strung me along with these string along texts making it seem like he wanted to date but he was just stringing me along for free attention
I cringe thinking about it. Mainly because I should be smarter than that but the emotions of dealing with shitty boss and horrible coworkers had me feel vulnerable
Lol @ that ladies response about does it get better for 30+ women
carmen_b
08-18-2019, 09:43 AM
This is so sketchy ( I know it even as I'm doing it ) but I want to experience Mr. NY one more time so I texted today.
I'm hesitant on the butcher M ( the 6'8'' one from Alaska ) due to him being a little heavier. I know it's shallow but I just felt ..... unsure when he was here. Then again ..... he was so cuddly and complimentary and he is attractive .
I'm most interested in B ( he's probably camping without a signal ..... he mentions he often is on weekends ) . I'm agitated that he hasn't scheduled with me for Mon. or Tues. and I'm trying to not be the one to suggest it. He has his kids on the weekends so I know I won't see him . I just wish the next outing was in place.
I wish I had more to report .......... bleh.
;/
miss.a.p1600
08-18-2019, 10:48 AM
^^nooo don’t text him lol! He seems to occupied with whatever else.
I need to get out more and find some dates.
The old dude is being really quiet I guess after our 3 rekindle dates he wants me to chase him or something - wtf?!?
carmen_b
08-19-2019, 02:29 PM
I am embarrassed because I pretty much offered Mr. NY free sex last night and he didn't bite.
That was when he sent the reference about being in the " transitional phase in his life / I wish I’d met you at a different time “ ect.
I was thinking " Hmmmmm ..... does your dick work TODAY ? If so .... start driving over " but I didn't say anything.
I don't feel like it should take constant reassurance that you don't " want anything " to just get laid.
I have to admit ..... I had never suggested that before to anyone. I thought it would be an instant YES.
lurkingtitties
08-19-2019, 02:55 PM
Is Aviatior a super early riser? That is kind of weird. But at the same time if he’s used to starting his day very early either for work or cultural reasons I can *sort of* understand. I live in an area where getting up before 6am even on your day off is a cultural norm (I hate it lol). And sometimes I do find myself right around 10am reflecting on how much I’ve already accomplished that day and that it’s time for lunch. People in my area would definitely consider it reasonable to meet up at 10 for a date especially if it involves outdoor activities.
Is he offering 10am with a big chunk of time free to hang out? Or is it more like he has time for coffee from 10-1115? The former could potentially be fun and the latter sounds annoying.
Has he reached out to you at all or have you been the one hitting him up to make plans? I know you said he wanted to see you when you got back. Has he been consistent with that?
carmen_b
08-19-2019, 03:12 PM
deleted
lurkingtitties
08-19-2019, 04:02 PM
sounds like it’s worth a shot to see if Wednesday is better for him...
You mentioned he has kids, do you know what the custody situation is? If he has them during the week it would explain a lot.
JessaJade
08-19-2019, 06:27 PM
I don't feel like it should take constant reassurance that you don't " want anything " to just get laid.
I think you're right!
carmen_b
08-19-2019, 06:54 PM
^ I do miss his dick though and he can really throw down .
It's not like he just has a big dick and then doesn't know what to do.
( cries ) ;/
The 6'8'' butcher ....... more details to come.
carmen_b
08-20-2019, 08:53 AM
delete
carmen_b
08-20-2019, 09:00 AM
It seems quite clear that " now is not the time " for dudes ....... pulling back again with all of it.
Focusing on making $$$.