View Full Version : 2019 DATING Adventures Thread (2018 continuation)
Arialandre
01-18-2019, 01:38 AM
GOD DAMN IT! God damn son of a bitch!
Ok, so my main contender in town has to get taken off the board. Wiped of the board, then set the board on fire and salt the earth so that nothing can grow there. We just told each other our last names and I looked him up o FB and we had friends in common, but all the friends were from the exact same place. And then it clicked. I knew him when I was 15! He was one of the adults in charge of a program I was in and now that's ALL I CAN SEE. That he knew me what I was 15. Oh god, oh god just kill me now. So fucking awkward. We were supposed to go for coffee next week but now I just want to go curl up into a ball in the corner. Oh god oh god oh god. ick ick ick!
Is this what it feels like when strippers have their high school teachers come in and as them for a lap dance???
miss.a.p1600
01-18-2019, 07:06 AM
Met a dude who offered to take me to lunch then he offered to take me to dinner.
I think he’s a lawyer or real estate investor idk I’ll have to do more inquiries
seashell
01-19-2019, 09:24 AM
I just went out with a guy from Tinder, who's also traveling through the Balkans. He had a cute German accent and he was super sweet. We went out for coffee, walked around the city for a few hours, and chatted.
I feel like all a guy has to do is NOT try to sleep with me, and I'm instantly obsessed with him.
Oh well, this one is on the road to another country already. Damn.
I'm currently talking to another guy from Ireland. I hope he asks me out soon... but he's about 20 miles away from me, and I'm not sure if either of us will actually put in the effort to travel. Bleh.
Ladycaxe
01-19-2019, 06:04 PM
I'm at odds. have I given up on dating ? I cant tell.
for some reason, I hATE online dating.
I mean I was into it when I was younger. (think 21 years old, fresh out of a long relationship. I'm almost 25 now..)
But I was truly there to just hook up. I got a lot of that lol.
but now a days, w/ bumble tinder, I just find it awkward and in-genuine....
#1 I live in a tourist destination. Most of the people on there are coming and going.
#2 I think since becoming a dancer, I find it wEIRd to meet people thru the internet.
Dont get me wrong, I do not go to work to find a bf, but the thing is, it's so much different when your face 2 face meeting someone for the
first time vs. being on the internet. you can catch a vibe waaaay quicker.
#3 I feel like I could go hit the town and meet people but, I dont know if I could do it alone. I dont have really any friends out here so, you probably won't
find me at like a club or bar by myself....
What is it? Should I give internet dating an honest chance? every time I make it, I delete it literally the same day.
At the same time, I don't really know what I'm looking for anyway.
I think deep down inside , I want something real, long term, ever lasting.....
But I dont know where to find it.
Ladycaxe
01-19-2019, 06:07 PM
Another anecdote :
I admittingly met said person at work.
We hung out one night. Had a good time. Didn't feel like it was anything serious .
Tries to make plans again. He says something EYE find disrespectful.
I call him out on it. he gets mad that I find it disrespectful. tells me have a nice life lOL.
me: an hour later .
Shit. Maybe I overreacted.
Texted him saying such.
So far: No response
Me: Realizes HE truly was at fault. Also me: Knowing he's going to respond at some point and I am again
going to have to tell him to fuck off, again.
LMAO. This is a repetitive cycle for me. Maybe I need 2 have more options open, instead of giving one person multiple chances
Ladycaxe
01-19-2019, 06:08 PM
Do y'all have dating site tips? Any recommendations besides bumble / Tinder?
Anyone here want to date but also dont like online dating? What do you do to meet people?
ty...
Ladycaxe
01-19-2019, 06:31 PM
update: I re made tinder. bumble is okay but, I dont like having 2 be the first one to start the convo.
for the first time, I've actually created a meaningful bio. I included my job. I'd rather be open about it tbh. Anyone else do the same?
I also included a couple interests and what I'm looking for. wish meh luck lol
miss.a.p1600
01-19-2019, 07:38 PM
Anytime friends invite me out to social gatherings - I go.
Sometimes I roll up to places by myself, have a couple sips of liquor (helps me get out of my shell if I’m feeling nervous), then strike up conversations with males or females, then go from there.
Also volunteering or just doing things YOU like to do.
Often times when I go places solo, people will just start talking to me. About 70% of the time. Other 30% I have to initiate convos.
carmen_b
01-19-2019, 09:04 PM
^ Lady: Being open might attract creepers / cheapies but it might work well !
carmen_b
01-19-2019, 09:09 PM
The great " seeing J " debate is back. I'll may see him VERY infrequently to take the horny edge off haha.
Our little kinky chats and interests align soooooooo well.
He is very " service " focused. I can put him to great use.
miss.a.p1600
01-20-2019, 11:26 AM
^ Lady: Being open might attract creepers / cheapies but it might work well !
True.
I usually only go to high end/upscale places solo. Also it’s not for everyone so another tactic I’ve used to meet guys is tell a girlfriend to meet me at 7:00 then go to an event/gathering about 6:30 to have a few minutes to mingle solo with the safety net of knowing my gf is on the way and I’m not “alone”
Survey their asses like a stripper in the club - zone in on the “whales” (or the gentleman) and ignore the cheap/creepy dudes.
Follow your safety precautions, your intuition and judgement
Another way to meet guys for dates etc. is to use your friends as matchmakers - if they know you well and you trust their tastes.
AChildOfBoredom
01-20-2019, 08:23 PM
Ended up on another double date. Somebody please just fucking kill me. At least the last guy was somewhat charming.
What’s worse is that he seems to think he’s winning me over.
https://i1.wp.com/munsifdaily.in/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/suicide-clipart-hanging-18.jpg
I told him I have IBS just to justify frequent trips to the bathroom to get away from him. So glad I packed my handgun tonight.
AChildOfBoredom
01-20-2019, 08:42 PM
REAL fucking winner you picked for a wingman, dude :banghead:
FFS, we’re at Dave & Busters. “Oh, I find those games so boorish”. Okay, fucking Perceval Manbun the Third.
Is this seriously what people who know me think I would go for? If that’s the case, it would’ve just as well that I’d died in the war :rip:
carmen_b
01-20-2019, 08:52 PM
I use all the same in person strategies at MissP haha !
I often arrives places early too ! Seriously works. It allows that " meeting " time but then forces a quick number exchange v.s. any akwardness about what to do " next " .
^ For above ? Boorish ? Who doesn't like D and B ? This guy must be a total tool.
carmen_b
01-20-2019, 08:57 PM
( delete, the cop sucks )
AChildOfBoredom
01-20-2019, 09:22 PM
^ For above ? Boorish ? Who doesn't like D and B ? This guy must be a total tool.
He’s got a serious stick up his ass, and I don’t know why. What’s worse… where do I begin? First, he seems to think he’s actually charming. So, I refused to drink, I got a game card, fuck this motherfucker, I’m going to enjoy myself. So I was playing skee Ball, looked around to locate my friend and her date, and I see him staring at me with this shit eating grin on his face. Yeah, you can think about my ass when you do the five knuckle shuffle, because you won’t be getting anywhere near it.
As for the cop… friends of mine would probably tell you to ask him out because he seems like someone you could have totally wrapped around your finger. Basing this on what they’ve said in the past, this isn’t my advice - I think I’m probably as bad at dating as he is.
carmen_b
01-20-2019, 10:13 PM
Wait .... WHY would your friends say to just go for it ?
I told him specifically " I'm looking for something a little faster moving so the next outing will just be a friendly thing ".
^ I was definitely trying to reverse psychology trick him ( then realized he has familiarity with such tactics from his training ).
AChildOfBoredom
01-20-2019, 10:14 PM
Wow. This guy’s even more of a dickhead than I thought. I found his Facebook page and scrolled through, and also found that he shares tweets from “Extreme Tactical Seduction” and other PUA Twitter accounts. Got a feeling I know how that’s working out for him
https://media.giphy.com/media/1nDm900wgGU1O/giphy.gif
carmen_b
01-22-2019, 12:46 PM
Cute new GINGER on the scene !! ;)
Tinder match.
Love his ATTITUDE .
We matched and I got this : " Well C ..... I already find you fascinating ..... so how long would you like me to wait to ask you out ? "
^ LOVE a great attitude. Yes please.
Vyanka
01-22-2019, 12:57 PM
Am I the only one who passes dudes who have their IG account open to public on dating sites? That is a spoiled, lazy as fuck, lack of effort. IMO. As if he wants everyone to go to him.
Yes, I'm trying another site again. Lol.
carmen_b
01-22-2019, 12:58 PM
^ I find it creepy too. I guess it's because it seems like you shouldn't WANT IT to be open ? I guess blocking people is easy enough and that's how they justify if someone gets weird.
seashell
01-22-2019, 04:00 PM
Wow. This guy’s even more of a dickhead than I thought. I found his Facebook page and scrolled through, and also found that he shares tweets from “Extreme Tactical Seduction” and other PUA Twitter accounts. Got a feeling I know how that’s working out for him
https://media.giphy.com/media/1nDm900wgGU1O/giphy.gif
I looked up a Tinder guy once, and found him posting on forums about the book 48 laws of power (a book about manipulating people), and telling people not to use it for evil. Then when I met him (derp), he kept talking about sociopathy, good versus evil... needless to say, we never hung out a second time. But he was sooo hot! Like ridiculously hot. And wealthy. Such a shame!
carmen_b
01-22-2019, 06:57 PM
I'm ashamed of myself for chasing after the cop.
miss.a.p1600
01-22-2019, 09:58 PM
The past few times I’ve met dudes for “dates” I’ve noticed they want to meet for coffee or drinks only first.
My younger paper chasing self would have said no but I figured I’d test it out and spend no more than 30-45 min
Do you all notice any difference in the dinner date guys/creative date guys/coffee or drinks guys?
carmen_b
01-22-2019, 10:33 PM
^ I think the drink thing is fine if it's EARLY . If you hit it off, it leaves a nice span for an evening out.
I personally love drinking dates. I love dinner dates too though.
I'm seeing the Ginger ( also a J , ha ) Friday ! We also seem to have A LOT in common. I'm excited to meet him.
seashell
01-23-2019, 05:27 AM
The past few times I’ve met dudes for “dates” I’ve noticed they want to meet for coffee or drinks only first.
My younger paper chasing self would have said no but I figured I’d test it out and spend no more than 30-45 min
Do you all notice any difference in the dinner date guys/creative date guys/coffee or drinks guys?
I find that guys who want dinner are usually more traditional, and looking for something serious. They're also more likely to pay for everything. And they might be less experienced in dating than guys who prefer drinks, simply because the experienced guys are tired of spending too much money on dates.
I prefer meeting briefly for drinks the first time, just because I've had some godawful experiences with first dates. I want to be able to easily escape at a moment's notice. But usually when a guy invites me out for drinks, if it goes well, we'll walk around and hang out for a few hours, maybe get food at a different place.
seashell
01-23-2019, 05:36 AM
I'm in a new city again, and Tinder-ing away. I'm supposed to meet a cute Irish guy this weekend. Can't seem to find anyone else who lives in my area and seems like a decent person. I'm in Montenegro, and literally every male profile has a shirtless pic, gruff manly facial expressions, and something sexual on their profile. I even came across an actual dick pic. How are men so freaking gross?
I recently learned that my hometown of Phoenix is actually the 6th largest city in the US. No wonder I never had trouble dating there! Here in Europe, I keep hitting the "end" of Tinder. The app tells me there are no more profiles left! I can't wait to get back home.
Also, I had high hopes for finding a sugar daddy at some point. But I just can't bring myself to hang out with old men. I'd rather date a hot 20-something year old who is amazing in bed, with zero commitments, than be some old man's emotional crutch and have to manipulate them for an allowance. I mean, I'd rather ultimately have a boyfriend. But the toxic masculinity in this area is really off-putting.
miss.a.p1600
01-23-2019, 07:10 AM
I find that guys who want dinner are usually more traditional, and looking for something serious. They're also more likely to pay for everything. And they might be less experienced in dating than guys who prefer drinks, simply because the experienced guys are tired of spending too much money on dates.
I prefer meeting briefly for drinks the first time, just because I've had some godawful experiences with first dates. I want to be able to easily escape at a moment's notice. But usually when a guy invites me out for drinks, if it goes well, we'll walk around and hang out for a few hours, maybe get food at a different place.
I keep forgetting.....we in the Tinder era
I do like the multi venue type dates though like go for drinks/appetizers or tapas or whatever then go for an activity or something else interesting
I get dating can be expensive if dudes dating multiple women and paying for it all but hell idgaf though cause they owe us reparations for generations of male privilege lol
I went to drinks with one dude and I only ordered sparkling water but then all of a sudden I got really hungry and thankfully the bartender asked if we wanted appetizers and dude asked me if I wanted appetizers I was like YES
Then I went to coffee with the old dude and he was like you can order anything and y’all know Starbucks orders can add up quickly.
I love the men who say “order what you want”
carmen_b
01-23-2019, 12:22 PM
Seashell: I have good vibes for you. Maybe target the 30-45 ish digital nomad /expat crowd. See if you can find where they hang out. ;)
Coworking spaces / nice gyms / nice bars ect.
carmen_b
01-23-2019, 12:25 PM
Honestly ..... I think that men just kind of need to look at buying *some* dinners as a cost of living thing ( cost of being a single guy ).
They KNOW it's off putting if they can't even pick up a $40 - $70ish restaurant tab . No one is saying is has to be $150 - $200 restaurant outings at first meetings.
Food is a great gesture of being a gentleman really. Womens costs add up too ( nails / hair / nice clothing ). Nice drinks are a good equivalent experience for a little less if the atmosphere is good.
Vyanka
01-23-2019, 12:58 PM
The past few times I’ve met dudes for “dates” I’ve noticed they want to meet for coffee or drinks only first.
My younger paper chasing self would have said no but I figured I’d test it out and spend no more than 30-45 min
Do you all notice any difference in the dinner date guys/creative date guys/coffee or drinks guys?
A German guy once told me that if you really want to get to know a guy, get him drunk bc the truth comes out. Lol.
Great guy too, he was def marriage material and a gentleman.
carmen_b
01-23-2019, 02:23 PM
I'm NOT a huge drinker but find that 1-2 really eases the nerves of meeting someone for the first time on both sides.
Pretty much just have 1-2 drinks a week and I just like to time them for my first meeting type of dates.
carmen_b
01-23-2019, 08:28 PM
Anyway ...... Ginger J is now my fave.
He set the day and time yesterday and then texted today WITH specific dinner plans ..... he has picked a place.
AChildOfBoredom
01-24-2019, 03:24 AM
So, after the abject failure which was the last double date I went on, I contacted the guy from the previous double date and said, "let's do lunch", which he agreed to.
I'm going to be honest, I have no interest. But he did treat me right, and a nice lunch would really do a lot to make up for the last dating fiasco. Honestly, I'd like for him to meet one of my friends, and see how they hit it off. I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, though.
seashell
01-24-2019, 05:23 AM
Seashell: I have good vibes for you. Maybe target the 30-45 ish digital nomad /expat crowd. See if you can find where they hang out. ;)
Coworking spaces / nice gyms / nice bars ect.
That's a good idea :D I definitely want to check out a coworking space, I've never been to one. My fear has always been that befriending/dating expats would be short-lived, but I'm realizing that it is sooo nice to meet people who understand the lifestyle and the struggles.
I've been talking to a backpacker guy on Bumble, and he wants to meet up today. I think I'm drawing the line at dudes living in hostels. Sorry bro. XD
carmen_b
01-24-2019, 08:27 PM
I got a buzz on and asked the cop to join me at my fancy film fest event in a few days. He agreed.
( details deleted )
Should be a fun week.
seashell
01-25-2019, 02:15 PM
^That sounds so fun!
I just got back from hanging out with the Irish guy. Ohhh my god, he is so cute. Totally my type, nerdy but attractive, and on the shorter side like me. He showed up with his ukulele... (I also play ukulele, so this is a weakness for me), and we had some food, walked around the ancient fortress, and he played me a song on the beach. He is a really good musician. And he has some interesting stories from being in a band, but claims he is not into drinking, drugs, etc. And his accent is just slightly Irish, but really cute.
I treated this as a first meeting, rather than a date. But it was sooo nice! I feel like I must be dead inside, to not have been swept away, but I was feeling more of a friend connection. And I've been on so many identical dates, with foreign guys in these magical places... it never gets old, but at the same time, I'm not as stunned anymore. I think he's just more of a softspoken person that isn't very aggressive when it comes to flirting. Maybe he wasn't that into me, I'm not sure, although we laughed quite a bit and it was a lot of fun hanging out with him. I invited him back to my place, and he met my dog, but left pretty quickly.
Sigh... forever alone? lol. I suggested that we split the bill at each of the places we went to, and he did, which told me maybe he wanted more of a friend connection as well. Probably for the best. I'm sure we'll hang out again soon. I'm gonna go text him to say that I had a good time, and hope he drove home safely (being Irish, he drove on the wrong side of the road for a minute, which was so freaking scary, but hilarious... lol)
seashell
01-26-2019, 01:26 PM
^Oooh he sounds good! Can't wait to hear more!
Go team Ireland ;D
The Irish guy invited me out tomorrow to go visit a national park. I was glad to hear back from him so soon. He even suggested bringing my little dog with us. I don't think we're hiking, just checking out the scenery, so this should be fun. He had admitted that he's lonely living the digital nomad life, haha, so I guess I'm the most human contact he's had in a while. Whatever, I'll take it!
Not sure if I mentioned that he's a few years younger than me. He's super mature, though.
carmen_b
01-26-2019, 03:58 PM
Ok ..... so we went for the drink.
Date #2 was the same day ( an hour later ) haha.
It was so nice with more GREAT conversation and got to know him in a deeper way ( family background / other projects he'd worked on in the last two years ). He was forth coming about wanting a partnership and being ready. He doesn't want to " date around " a lot . I loved that.
Here is a tricky thing though. Walking out , he referenced a kiss and I got nervous. I think I was going for a more light type of initial kiss and we was going for tongue right away ...... akward mix.
He even referenced it saying " I'm a better kisser than that and I think you are too, we will re-try it sometime " and I agreed.
carmen_b
01-27-2019, 10:52 AM
( delete )
carmen_b
01-27-2019, 11:02 AM
Right now my ovaries are screaming at me to make Ginger - Irish babies.
seashell
01-27-2019, 05:23 PM
^^I usually take guys off of my Tinder matches, once we've met. I guess it feels weird to leave it there. Your guy sounds so sexy!
I just finished hanging out with my Irish guy... sexy story coming up. We had a hard time finding anything to do in this small town, so we kind of relived the first date, walked around the city at night, sat down by the beach, and he finally made a move. We had this really slow, sweet kiss on the beach while it was starting to rain. He's really good at just enjoying the moment. We eventually went back to my place, then realized we were stone cold sober and decided to grab drinks first at a nearby bar, haha. Back at my place, we made out a bit, I got to see how great of a body he has (kind of short and slender, but he is in amazing shape), and we had some slow, hot sex. I've never been with someone that takes his time like this. We had sex twice, and he made me cum a few times in between. I am a happy girl...
He's going out of town for a week, and I might be traveling elsewhere, too. But we agreed that we'd see each other again "in the future."
We get along really well, and had a lot of deep conversations. I really like him, going to try not to overthink it. It was really really nice to have a guy to hook up with.
carmen_b
01-28-2019, 07:49 PM
omg , inspiration ^
carmen_b
01-28-2019, 07:58 PM
My kinky computer scientist ( grad student J the younger one ) has been texting a lot.
We had that amazing experience a couple weeks ago after we both came back from holiday travel ( the fingering and face sitting extravaganza ).
I do remember though how irritating he was in Dec. being so slow moving.
He can not be on my starting line up due to being so damn scared of the bf label but he is SKILLED .
I see him infrequently on purpose to keep the emotional attachment at arms length. Kinda craving him again.
;)
carmen_b
01-29-2019, 09:29 AM
Ok ....... it's official .
I wasted a couple of the BEST event tickets I'll EVER get in the 2019 year on the cop.
AND ....... I officially release him back into the Universe ! Whoosh ........ off you go ! Go disappoint someone else ! Haha .
( didn't even hold my hand ........ no good hug .......didn't share his appetizer at our pre-outing ).
seashell
01-30-2019, 12:51 PM
^Aww I'm sorry! That totally sucks... glad you got rid of him sooner than later. One of the guys I recently dated was like that. You deserve someone who can treat you better.
I made a post in another thread about how I currently have an STD scare, from the guy I just mentioned. Ugh. I'm about to go lock myself in a convent! I'm getting tested later this week, and not having sex until I know that everything is okay. Don't think I'm ever giving oral sex again. Not unless I'm married or in a committed relationship where we've both been tested.
Be careful out there, ladies! <3
carmen_b
01-30-2019, 08:16 PM
^ I think I saw something about Ch. and you probably don't have it if you used condoms 100% ( I can come back and edit this also )
I'm scared of std's too. I'm so careful ( probably overly so ) but J and I had hands flying everywhere and not really much of a talk about any sort of risks. Also in a phase of worry. No sex with him but hands everywhere ( touching himself and then me and not being careful at all ). I've always been so OCD about stds.
I think my body and mind are messing with me ( I'm super itchy on one side of my stuff and have been hyper aware of it 5-6 days ). It didn't even occur to me to use a dental damn with him. I'm sure it's 98% RAZOR BURN but I'm paranoid.
carmen_b
01-30-2019, 09:36 PM
I am very pleased with J though ..... my schedule is a mess next few days and he said to just " consider him on call " . Nice Move. ;)
He's sweet but I'm still not totally comfy not having the bf label ( currently undecided for now what to do with him ).
Ginger is traveling to Texas on Fri.
Arialandre
01-31-2019, 02:15 AM
Ok, so things have been slow moving on my end but I'm not mad at it because he FINALLY asked me out! Woohoo! This is the new guy that lives about an hour from me that I have a ton in common with. He finally asked me out tonight, we're going to go for sushi and drinks. We haven't picked a day yet because he's working away and we need to organize our schedules. But he's officially asked and says that he's really excited for our date so, phew. Because I was seriously starting to doubt his level of interest, but he's just been working really long days. Thank god. I'm going to be soooo pissed if we aren't just as great or better in person.
carmen_b
01-31-2019, 06:31 PM
( delete )