View Full Version : 2019 DATING Adventures Thread (2018 continuation)
JessaJade
02-03-2020, 12:30 PM
QUOTE=miss.a.p1600;3159712]I think I’m over vanilla dating at current.[/QUOTE]
Me too. I do have to check in with myself to ask why I don't care though, because I've felt this way for a while. I wonder if I'll regret not making more effort to meet someone...I have been putting effort into other things like self-work and career stuff and the more I do that, the less tolerance I feel I have for any relationship shenanigans unless they are really worthwhile.
carmen_b
02-04-2020, 03:07 PM
^ Joining up on the no vanilla dating thing. Haha.
( for now anyway )
carmen_b
02-04-2020, 11:26 PM
I'm working on " letting go " of my 2nd half of the 2019 year now !
B the Aussie was driving me nuts. He texts and I usually ignore but chatted a little with him. I told him I was upset recently about us not pursuing anything further and he said " sorry you feel that way ". At least it's a sorry, ha.
Mr. disappointment J texted after he saw me on the pof site a couple weeks ago ( which is none of his business ). I took that text as an opportunity to rip a him a new one again. I bet he is so glad he texted. I just said it was upsetting for him to say he planned to see me a couple times a week and then not make time for me twice a week which IT WAS . He was shitty ( which I told him before ) . If he chooses to text me more I will continue to say so. :)
Mr NY ...... I have been in touch with him the last few days. I think he might have been lying about " moving out " of his place and living with his brother. I think he might have already been there . This is just because he never invited me over to his place at all. I think he is upset sometimes because his goals are a little further off than he would like. 5 months ago he was setting up this business selling outdoor trips. It seems like he hasn't actively sold many. I asked if he had recently been anywhere interesting. I wouldn't turn him down per say if he initiated an outing but I don't see myself trying to rustle one up. He asked where I was living . I was honest and told him with family the next week and moving towards a warmer location in about 7 days . I regretted it for a minute but then I wonder if he was just feeling out if I could easily host something sexy ?
^ So ..... I didn't need the meditation trick. I talked to them all and do feel a little better.
Dec. 2019 was M ( the abusive one ) so I don't talk to him.
I feel like I just can't do anything or offer anyone anything until I let go of this past stuff.
carmen_b
02-05-2020, 03:03 PM
Last week I did offer to meet Bird / Earth Man for a tea or something. ;)
He says he has been sick over the weekend.
Then I can't schedule until Sat. because I'm leaving today - Fri. open to strip if I can manage to get my shit together .
I really think we would get along great BUT I'd be a lot more impressed ( since it's Wednesday now ) if he sent something today that was like " I can't wait to meet you Sat. , this is where I'd like to take you ". I mean .... I'd be putting in real effort to get date ready by hotel check out and then drive THREE hours back to meet him. Actually just typing that out seems stupid. I might just stay in my stripper town Sat. night too and then offer him Sunday afternoon.
He also didn't use my phone # and messaged me from POF, yawn. :(
That tipi though ...... hahahaha.
Just looked back at his height, 6'3" . That could do . Haha.
carmen_b
02-05-2020, 03:27 PM
Oh , a forgot to rip into Mr. Disappointment about exaggerating his digital nomad capacity . He made it sound possible 50% of the year. It turned out to be 0%. How does running an auto body shop in a fixed location really translate as a digital nomad match ?
So I guess that stuff about travel together in 2020 was just total bullshit. I will get to that too if he reaches back out.
Tell ' em exactly how disappointed you are and FEEL the refreshed attitude wash over you! Ha .
carmen_b
02-06-2020, 02:56 PM
Yawwwwnnn.
Bird guy did not use my phone # to secure Saturday or Sunday.
It's not an option anymore. It's disappointing but not my place to reach out twice in a row.
He knows where to find me.
Just chillin'
All my time is mine. It's not a bad way to do a month or so. :)
seashell
02-06-2020, 03:40 PM
^Hehe, I am loving the nicknames. Mr. Disappointment and Bird Guy made me laugh. I totally feel you, as far as the digital nomad thing. Travel is my life, and I can't tell you how many guys act like they do it, or want it, and end up being full of total BS. Like just be up front about not wanting to live that way, lol.
I booked my ticket to London, so I'm really excited about that. Chatted with Englishman on the phone today. He's so cute. This is really becoming a thing. His accent just cracks me up, I'm constantly asking him to explain what on earth he's talking about. He's taught me about bangers and mash, and the chippy, and random English slang. And he frequently breaks out into song, because his university degree was in theater. I'm so smitten, you guys, it's nauseating but I love it. This will be my first time actually celebrating Valentine's Day in four years.
miss.a.p1600
02-06-2020, 04:08 PM
^Hehe, I am loving the nicknames. Mr. Disappointment and Bird Guy made me laugh. I totally feel you, as far as the digital nomad thing. Travel is my life, and I can't tell you how many guys act like they do it, or want it, and end up being full of total BS. Like just be up front about not wanting to live that way, lol.
I booked my ticket to London, so I'm really excited about that. Chatted with Englishman on the phone today. He's so cute. This is really becoming a thing. His accent just cracks me up, I'm constantly asking him to explain what on earth he's talking about. He's taught me about bangers and mash, and the chippy, and random English slang. And he frequently breaks out into song, because his university degree was in theater. I'm so smitten, you guys, it's nauseating but I love it. This will be my first time actually celebrating Valentine's Day in four years.
These Dudes stay lying! They say ANYTHING if it will increase their chances of getting pussy
carmen_b
02-06-2020, 04:16 PM
I'm so curious how you met. Was it an online connection ?
^Hehe, I am loving the nicknames. Mr. Disappointment and Bird Guy made me laugh. I totally feel you, as far as the digital nomad thing. Travel is my life, and I can't tell you how many guys act like they do it, or want it, and end up being full of total BS. Like just be up front about not wanting to live that way, lol.
I booked my ticket to London, so I'm really excited about that. Chatted with Englishman on the phone today. He's so cute. This is really becoming a thing. His accent just cracks me up, I'm constantly asking him to explain what on earth he's talking about. He's taught me about bangers and mash, and the chippy, and random English slang. And he frequently breaks out into song, because his university degree was in theater. I'm so smitten, you guys, it's nauseating but I love it. This will be my first time actually celebrating Valentine's Day in four years.
carmen_b
02-06-2020, 04:18 PM
He lived that way for two years ( so he says ) RVing around the USA. I did see pictures so it's true.
Such a damn weirdo. He can't seem to get enough verbal lashing. He reached out and I told him how upsetting it was to only get sex once in awhile v.s. often !
I didn't even get to the digital nomading thing but I did tell him my rough schedule coming up. Haha. I told him I preferred 4-6 times a week, more dominance, more kink.
These Dudes stay lying! They say ANYTHING if it will increase their chances of getting pussy
carmen_b
02-06-2020, 04:19 PM
I just HATE how these online guys send " How are you ? " messages.
I'm on a dating site. I'm busy. Get to the point please.
^ I can't figure out how to stay that without sounding like an ass.
seashell
02-06-2020, 04:33 PM
I'm so curious how you met. Was it an online connection ?
Yes, I'm not sure if I mentioned it here, but we met on Tinder. We matched like 6 months ago, when I was in London for a few days. He messaged me after I left, and saw that I was like a thousand miles away. But we both had a lot in common, and kept randomly messaging each other, anyway. At some point, we started chatting on the phone. I was happy to talk to an English guy, because living in the Balkans has been reeeeeally shitty for my dating life. He travels often, and at one point, he asked about visiting me in Albania. I didn't think he actually would, but he did, last week.
I don't know if I would have gotten as close to him, if we'd met right away, when I was in London. I tend to friendzone nice guys like him. So the fact that we chatted for so long beforehand probably helped everything come together.
miss.a.p1600
02-06-2020, 04:51 PM
I just HATE how these online guys send " How are you ? " messages.
I'm on a dating site. I'm busy. Get to the point please.
^ I can't figure out how to stay that without sounding like an ass.
Worse is How r u? Wyd? Or some other meaningless waste of time chats
carmen_b
02-06-2020, 04:54 PM
^ I can't stand it !
So I might need to pull pof down again ( I decided to turn it back on for 3-4 days, just kind of see ect. )
I don't mind a few notes but I really feel like more than 3-4 messages without moving towards a meeting is too much. If I wasn't attracted to the pictures they put up + the info there would be ZERO communication .
If they are in the door why not step through it ?
miss.a.p1600
02-06-2020, 04:57 PM
Girl me either.
I wish I could send a virus or a dick pick to dudes who say that shit
And why they don’t walk through the door? Because they only want to be penpals yet get FREE attention because:
In a relationship or married
Can’t afford to take women on dates
Lazy af!
Zero game with women
Secretly gay
carmen_b
02-07-2020, 04:15 PM
I put it up , fuck it .
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER :
I highly prefer a quick in person meeting v.s. extensive messages. A COUPLE get to know you messages are great ( don't waste one on " how are you " haha ). I hope that doesn't sound terrible but my work days are very busy. I don't have time to heavily chat or text extensively. If you are also a " lets get to the point and plan a date " type YOU are who I'm looking for. ;)
^ That's my first paragraph on POF .
I imagine I'll get a couple nasty notes but maybe the time wasters will self screen ?
lurkingtitties
02-09-2020, 07:55 AM
A couple nights ago I went to a singles mixer with a couple friends...I had never been to one before and had no idea what to expect. Let's just say there were no guys for me there! Haha this one guy did give me his business card...which was literally a business card for friends/dating with a list of his hobbies and a picture of him wearing a fucking fedora. LOL! At least I can hang onto it to show friends for laughs.
I did sort of have an important realization later that night though. I've been single for a while now and for the last 6 months or so I've been struggling to change my self-limiting beliefs that there's no one out there who understands me, or that all the quality guys are taken. I finally realized I have this mental block in my brain because I've been hurt pretty badly by some of my past relationships. It's not that there's a lack of the kind of person I'm looking for, it's that my brain has learned to associate falling in love with eventually getting hurt, and I'm scared to be open to someone new. Even if I try to visualize meeting someone compatible I get this uneasy feeling in my stomach and push those thoughts away. I work with an energy healer/success coach and the last couple sessions I've done with her, she's tried to bring up my love life and I get uncomfortable and change the subject. Something for me to work on I guess...
Winged Dinghy
02-09-2020, 08:39 AM
The guy from my pole dancing class continues to be soooo dreamy! He has a submissive side and is a very adept cook. So he's going to make dinner for me and one of my stripper/dominatrix friends wearing only an apron. Then we will take turns riding his face.
I'm smitten!
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 10:27 AM
Omg !!! ^^
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 10:28 AM
I feel like this lately too.
I hope you experience some " unblocking " between your self work and work with the energy healer.
I finally realized I have this mental block in my brain because I've been hurt pretty badly by some of my past relationships. It's not that there's a lack of the kind of person I'm looking for, it's that my brain has learned to associate falling in love with eventually getting hurt, and I'm scared to be open to someone new.
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 10:29 AM
I just can't get over this. True SERVICE.
Ah !!!
The guy from my pole dancing class continues to be soooo dreamy! He has a submissive side and is a very adept cook. So he's going to make dinner for me and one of my stripper/dominatrix friends wearing only an apron. Then we will take turns riding his face.
I'm smitten!
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 10:33 AM
It's time to pull my shit together I think.
4 weeks away from my abuser today . I went cold turkey on dudes / celibate.
I just couldn't handle it. But .... the fact that M deeply verbally abused me doesn't really have a bearing on *other* situations that might pop up.
I just caught up with a real life troll and had a sugaring type of fail.
It'll officially be 4 weeks tomorrow since I had the worst verbal assault of my life and did THE RIGHT THING by leaving and never seeing M again !!
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 10:48 AM
Lurking : I'm so curious too about your thought that no one will " understand " you. It might be too much to share here but I'm curious why you think that is such as what traits are so unique that they would detract v.s. enhance a romantic match?
lurkingtitties
02-09-2020, 10:53 AM
I guess I feel like people like me are rare, I’m serious about my career and have my shit together but I’m also anti-establishment AF and have a lot of tattoos (nice ones that I spent a lot of money on). And of course the 8 years of full-time stripping. I find it hard to relate to professional type guys who never did anything wild and crazy before they started their career.
Also there have been a couple times I have met/fallen for someone who checked all those boxes of alternative lifestyle but also a serious professional, and both times I got my heart broken in different ways...so yeah I guess I’m just scared AF of it happening again.
lurkingtitties
02-09-2020, 10:54 AM
Sorry for the double post fam, it won’t let me delete the extra one!
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 11:21 AM
^ I'm that way too with the blend of hippie and yuppie lifestyle ! I am not going to compromise the ability to make a decent living ( so I'll never really be that hippie type in a VW bus ) but I am still drawn to having experiences in nature and off grid locations . So I am not really a full yuppie either who works like 50-60 hour weeks.
I think what you are after is possible for sure ! So many people hide their " freak " side haha. Give a seemingly vanilla guy a chance and see if he has anything below the surface ( no guarantee he will but maybe ) !
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 12:06 PM
I hope one of B's birds scratches him up and then poops a ton on him !!!
He has this really well done YouTube Channel and I watched a few vids and now I'm wondering if he judged me for my ( admittedly bad ) channel . I just put these little clips up of travel things and had something I wanted to show him on mine ( a place I thought his tipi would be excellent for ).
Dick.
If I learned ANYTHING from M last fall it is to NOT pull a dude along. I offered tea. He needs to offer a meeting but I assume he won't since he hasn't in the last 4-5 days. I remember with Mr. Alaska M that I put date #1 together ( and he didn't show claiming a " family emergency " which I told him later is the most common lie ever haha ). Then I offered him another outing ( which he showed for ). That set the trend though of my trying and him being him ( lazy AF and spaced off mentally too even when physically present ). I LEARNED my lesson !
carmen_b
02-09-2020, 12:19 PM
I could have had a date tonight but I felt a cold sore coming on yesterday and knew tonight was out ! I caught it in time with the meds but it's still like 48 hours of lost confidence ! I can't schedule a date comfortably until tomorrow.
Winged Dinghy
02-10-2020, 08:04 AM
Also there have been a couple times I have met/fallen for someone who checked all those boxes of alternative lifestyle but also a serious professional, and both times I got my heart broken in different ways...
I'm curious...what happened that broke your heart, if you don't mind me asking?
miss.a.p1600
02-10-2020, 08:09 AM
I’m having a hard time reconciling the fact that my guy “friend” might not be the ideal partner
75% of the time he disagrees with me on topics (unlike my old dude who agreed with me on almost everything)
He had joked about being a pimp while I work to bring his money. Yes it’s a joke but I think deep down he is serious about the woman doing the work. (Unlike my old dude who told me I never would *have* to work if I were living with him).
I want a provider who does not *need* my income. I am working for passion not necessity.
I guess the prospect of being old n alone is starting to sink in, I am ready to end my celibacy, and my bio clock is ticking and i feel a need to partner up in the very near future
I’m going to get him drinking and ask him the hot questions
carmen_b
02-10-2020, 10:40 AM
I know it's probably related to my Dec. / Jan. abuse ....... but I just can't yet.
I chatted with someone yesterday ......... and lost interest quickly . He didn't ask anything about me except what I wore to bed. Then he sent a " wave " over this morning . I was asking everything I wanted to know ( verifying if he was a non-smoker and seeing if he has some flex with work like being able to take three day weekends ) . I am unimpressed that after chatting 15-20 min. he didn't ask me on a date. Oh wait .... he DID ask what food I liked ! We talked about that but then nothing from him about moving things to an in person meeting.
lurkingtitties
02-11-2020, 07:33 AM
I'm curious...what happened that broke your heart, if you don't mind me asking?
I mean...I guess nothing crazy dramatic like what Carmen B has shared about her ex partner...more of a death by 1000 cuts kind of thing. My longest relationship-late teens->age 24-the guy turned verbally abusive the last couple years as I started to mature and he didn’t. I kept men at arms length for a few years after that, then eventually fell hard for someone who turned out to be emotionally unavailable in the end. Then in 2017 I moved to a new state and got into another relationship...that guy seemed cool AF at first but after a while some of his conservative beliefs started to come out. He didn’t like my tattoos and said that if I respected him I wouldn’t get any new ones. And didn’t want me to ever speak about my stripper past in front of him even though we met 2 weeks after I retired.
That’s actually one of the things that still haunts me now, even though we’ve become good friends after some time apart. I imagine going on a couple dates with someone new and them eventually wanting to see all my tattoos, and it fills me with dread.
seashell
02-11-2020, 08:09 AM
^My longest relationship hated tattoos, and that's why I'm afraid to get any. I have always wanted some, but I know that some guys deep down have a really negative view of them. Not that I particularly want to date a conservative asshole... but I also keep my sex work history extremely private, as well, for the same reason.
Speaking of, I still have to tell the Englishman about it. We were chatting last night and he brought up something about going to raves, then said I didn't seem like the kind of person who would do that. In my head, I'm just like... oh god. Here we go. He thinks I'm so innocent.
I want to tell him about being a stripper/camgirl, but I feel like he'll run for the hills. Doesn't help that N, the Serbian guy, pretty much ghosted me after I told him. (Although he did like my Instagram post today... ugh men are so weird.)
Sometimes being a former sex worker reeeeeally affects my ability to think highly of myself and believe that I deserve a quality partner. The only way I've attracted decent guys in the past, is when I frame it as being a last ditch option, something I'm ashamed of, something I plan to quit... I just minimize it, so they don't feel emasculated.
miss.a.p1600
02-11-2020, 08:19 AM
^interesting how guys view women in adult industry
Either you do it cause it’s last resort or they think if you do it cause you like it then you’re the ultimate whore.
My guy “friend”/the billiards guy (who I thought was adult work friendly really is not) he said he thinks women who do that don’t have fathers, don’t have educations, etc. He would be cool with women doing it except his mother and daughter
He is okay with frequenting adult industry workers but subconsciously judges the women who work in that industry
lurkingtitties
02-11-2020, 09:15 AM
I know it's probably related to my Dec. / Jan. abuse ....... but I just can't yet.
I chatted with someone yesterday ......... and lost interest quickly . He didn't ask anything about me except what I wore to bed. Then he sent a " wave " over this morning . I was asking everything I wanted to know ( verifying if he was a non-smoker and seeing if he has some flex with work like being able to take three day weekends ) . I am unimpressed that after chatting 15-20 min. he didn't ask me on a date. Oh wait .... he DID ask what food I liked ! We talked about that but then nothing from him about moving things to an in person meeting.
Yeah. The one time I met someone on a dating site (back in 2012 lol) the dude asked for my email after a few minutes of chatting...then quickly arranged a phone call so he could feel out if he wanted to meet me in person. They do exist!
lurkingtitties
02-11-2020, 09:16 AM
Speaking of, I still have to tell the Englishman about it. We were chatting last night and he brought up something about going to raves, then said I didn't seem like the kind of person who would do that. In my head, I'm just like... oh god. Here we go. He thinks I'm so innocent.
LMAO! That's so fucking funny
miss.a.p1600
02-11-2020, 09:40 AM
The billiards guy/my guy “friend” told me to let him know if I wanted to meet up with him this weekend
I’m kind of pissed at him for not taking my side on an important issue and honestly unless he apologizes or see the error of his ways, i would rather just go out by myself n feeestyle for new harem material
carmen_b
02-11-2020, 10:54 AM
fuuuckkkk it
I'm on way to one of my fave dancer towns hahhaha
The chance of civilian men wasting my time was tooooo much risk . Haha
A key component of this decision was this dude yesterday I was finally like " would you like to meet me for a drink tomorrow? I was waiting for you to ask me out. " He said he would. Then at 10:30a.m. when I'm busy at work he asked how my morning was instead of giving a time / place.
My morning is " I'm taking the afternoon off to get on the road and take ALL the monies " hahahah.
carmen_b
02-11-2020, 10:57 AM
Seashell : Omg. I get read all the time as ultra conservative . Hahahahah. It's hilarious. I do look like a soccer mom though without my ho makeup on.
carmen_b
02-11-2020, 10:59 AM
My general plan is just not mention sex work at all. From here on out. It isn't really anyones business. I feel like I have been burned badly before ( from my long term partner and at a small scale other partners ) from having this idea that I'm " less " due to sex industry work. So ...... if that is how men think, I will put a P.R. spin on it and just not say anything !
seashell
02-11-2020, 11:06 AM
^^Get that dancer money! $$$
Haha, it's sooo funny to me! If only they knew how many "soccer moms" are secret heauxs.
miss.a.p1600
02-11-2020, 11:12 AM
^i wouldn’t tell their bitch asses either
My guy friend/billiards guy asked me “would you ever become a stripper”. After I mentioned how I was going to spend money to invest in my business, his hating ass was like “oh if you can’t recoup the loss then you gone have to hit the strip club. Oh would you ever strip?”
I’ll be taking that answer to my grave cause apparently he has really judgey views about strippers,...and about me (see my I’m disappointed thread)
miss.a.p1600
02-13-2020, 07:03 PM
So the guy I met in target (the one that seems clingy) hasn’t text me in a couple days and I almost text him first.
I came to my senses then next day he text me talking about how he’s recovering from a cold - all I could think was yuk!
Then he said he wishes he could take me to dinner.
Allí could think was if his ass suggest $2 tacos I’m blocking him for good.
I don’t know if I should since he seemed so thirsty
Idk
Winged Dinghy
02-14-2020, 10:53 AM
I just have to rhapsodize more about the guy from my pole dance class. He thoroughly Valentined me last night! A rose, champagne, chocolate, raspberries, dinner and he gave me a book about topping. We also had a wonderful night of sex that included me spanking and humiliating him in front of a group of people at a nude pool. I fucked his ass with my toe in the hot tub. We retired to the bedroom and took turns sodomizing each other. It was great!
carmen_b
02-14-2020, 07:49 PM
squueeeeeee ! ^^^
carmen_b
02-14-2020, 07:50 PM
I will confirm this date for tomorrow. Cute engineer. Fully remote work !!!! Outdoor lover. You read down his interest list and there is just too much to blow it off.
Earlier this week the thought of a date filled me with anxiety and dread but the last couple of days I have just felt more ready. I mean ..... it was a fluke in a way that I was recently involved with a crazy person. There is just as high of odds that I'll stumble onto someone nice and normal. Plus my info in the ad ( get to the fucking point ! ) didn't scare him. I don't think I will scare him in person either.
;)
carmen_b
02-16-2020, 10:48 AM
^ It was lovely. :)
We went to a couple breweries. Such a gentleman. Asked actual get to know you questions.
Spent about 20 minutes on our goodbye hug in the parking lot.
Kissed his neck a little. Moved into a little kissing ( just a few quick pecks ).
Definitely feeling him. It's probably a good thing I didn't book the hotel by the airport like I had considered.
I don't think I would have had the self control to not invite him back.
100% down for another date + cuddle marathon if he is up for it.
I wish I wasn't flying out today but shit happens. Back in 7 days.
He let me lead all the physical stuff. Not pushy at all. I was the one who extended the longer hug and parking lots snuggles .
miss.a.p1600
02-16-2020, 10:56 AM
^nice!
It’s always good when the guy lets the woman lead during the right times.
carmen_b
02-16-2020, 10:59 AM
Yes ......
It mad me think of my two M's ( both pawing at me at date #1 ).
^While it was flattering in a way and I *thought* I wanted a lot of sexual energy this more relaxed vibe from him was just soooooo right. I just love how we both settled into that hug and didn't move . I hope he is still single when I get back.
carmen_b
02-17-2020, 01:05 AM
I didn't realize that date was 4 hours and 15 min.
It sped by .