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seashell
02-17-2020, 02:41 AM
^Awwww! I hope you get to see each other again!

I'm still in the UK, with the Englishman. He's been such an absolute sweetheart. For Valentine's Day, he gave me a card, made me dinner, and dressed up for me (he knows I love a guy in a suit and tie, lol). We stayed at his place the next day, and I was supposed to leave the country, but there was an insane storm that caused a ton of flight cancellations and delays across the country. He tried to drive me to the airport, but we ended up spending about 5 hours in the car, unable to get there in time for my flight.

Luckily we still had fun, despite all the unexpected problems. He's super chill and easygoing, and hilarious. Today's my last day, but we're going to meet for lunch in a few hours.

We talked about things being exclusive, as far as dating goes. I really like this one. We won't get to see each other for two months, though, because I'm going back to the Balkans, and he'll be traveling in Asia. Sigh...

lurkingtitties
02-17-2020, 07:50 AM
I hope he is still single when I get back.

Haha girl you’re only leaving for a week right? I’m sure he will be

carmen_b
02-17-2020, 12:11 PM
Seashell , omg , pack those puppies up and ride his D all through Asia. Haha

miss.a.p1600
02-17-2020, 01:30 PM
Sounds like a nice valentines

Love it when they put in effort!

carmen_b
02-20-2020, 02:01 PM
I have small waves of guilt with D ( former or current SD ... whatever he is ).
He just makes things really really enjoyable. There is something to be said for making yourself useful .
How useful ? A couple amazing meals , another trip to the adult store ( my first Lelo Brand Vibe OMG ) , and some other small shopping excursions . He called the vibrator an " investment " since I travel alone often. Lol. It's true, I do. I couldn't really argue with the logic on that. He walked me over to the case ,said that they are the " best" and then just left me with the sales girl to find the right one v.s. standing and lurking . Classy AF.

We went to the nicest resort on the island ( easily of the top 4 ) and did a little mini photo session with me in a few different dresses at sunset last night. I am so happy with the photos ( he is an amateur photographer and enjoys getting out to shoot ).

miss.a.p1600
02-20-2020, 02:54 PM
Sooooo..... he makes things enjoyable, amazing meals, classy guy, nice resort

And you’re feeling guilty because.....???

carmen_b
02-20-2020, 07:57 PM
^^Aw he enjoys it. Haha.
He just gets on these verbal kicks that kick guilt in. Like yesterday saying he likes me because " I am not looking for a sugar daddy " ( like ....he clearly is mine and it is obvious to everyone lol ) . Part of our little game is he suggests generous things and then I'm like " NO WAY ! It's too much." Then he does whatever it is . Hahahaha.

He is a feet and leg guy so I led him around yesterday in the resort in my 6" platforms.

carmen_b
02-20-2020, 08:27 PM
My mood has kind of changed on the gentle engineer.

Ill come back and explain later but the main thing that seems off is that he says his phone doesn't accept or send pictures ( I tried to send some from here , I didn't ask for any ). So I wonder if it's google voice. I know with my google voice ( at various time when it was fucking up ) it did that exact quirk. He claimed on date #1 he was changing carriers or something.

There just hasn't been much at all from him.
Two days I sent something saying like " I want to snuggle " after a few Mai Tai's. No comment back.

Eh. He didn't ask how trip is going or anything. So I am wondering if he is one of those " taken but still online dating anyway " guys. I asked what his situation was on date one. He says he broke something off two months ago and I'm the first person he has met. He did say something about that situation being " on and off ". He is the first person I've met also since M 5-6 weeks ago.

Now I just don't feel in a hurry to get back. Somewhat factoring him in ..... I was planning to return right after my work wraps on Sunday morning.

miss.a.p1600
02-20-2020, 10:35 PM
If you can learn anything from me....

After dating “that guy (who I thought was amazing)” who allegedly broke it off with his “ex” allegedly 2 months before I met him.....

Guys like that are not truly single. They are just on a break - which is what “on n off” means. At current his is off but you’ll never know when he is back on. So in the meantime - Possibly using you till the “ex” takes him back, to make the “ex” jealous; for free attention; n more

Proceed with extreme caution on that one.

carmen_b
02-21-2020, 01:37 AM
^ Yes, that is the vibe I am getting too. He was extremely gentle / non pushy. He is the only person I've actually met with a 100% mobile schedule ( or at least he claims ). I've had my mood just turn on the whole thing today due to getting so little. He doesn't want to see at least a few tropical pictures ? Enough to have me email the pictures even if his phone doesn't have data ( he claims he moved carriers and now it's stuck without data or something ) ? When he first said that, I assumed ( like a normal person would ) that he would get it in 48 hours or so.

I haven't received anything flirtatious in 3-4 days . I got something like " Hey, alas my phone does not send or receive photos ". The date itself I was just SO impressed. Genuine questions and what I thought was great chemistry. He says right in his profile too that he wants a relationship. I liked his intention towards that . :/

I've been here and have had plenty of time to think . I am just not going to let guys waste my time. No sex until a committed relationship is in place. I'm not sure how to explain it but I am bringing this *intention* . I feel I made mistakes by not explicitly saying " I am not comfortable moving forward sexually until we both take our profiles down and set an intention that is committed ".
I will probably be very clear that I am looking for a boyfriend / partner. If they are scared then they go fuck off. I realize this is jumbled . I am just very sad that there isn't a *reason* to get back home fast.

On the other hand ...... I am enjoying the hell out of this island and may stay longer now.

I am wondering if I'm asking too much overall. Really all I am after is *some* schedule flexibility. My job is sending me out about 9-10 days a month ( expenses always covered , nice places, ect. )
My hours are normal ( it's not like I work 12 hour days when I'm out for these ). I'd like a guy to join me on at least *some* of my all expenses paid business trips ( driving distance ones initially ), have a little emotional connection, have pretty frequent sex. I have about 21 days in each month where I can work from wherever I want. That is a TON of time to be flexible for my partner as well and visit anywhere they are interested in ( or simply their area ).

carmen_b
02-21-2020, 01:48 AM
I feel like I am just *misjudging* things.
I swore this was a successful date just 5 days ago.
He even referenced going to do something for another date ( a specific place ).

I HATE the " on and off " relationship thing. I will NOT do it. I remember fall M ( barf for so many reasons but he suggested we break and then reconnect in 4-6 weeks ). I am just like " NO WAY ! You are not even going to fight to connect and stay ? " .

Fuck I'm rambling. And Fuck this engineer guy. Lol.

contagiousglitter
02-21-2020, 01:50 AM
^ it sucks because sex is so prevalent nowadays. maybe something like:

"I've been burned a lot from guys telling me what I want to here,
and so I prefer to move slowly physically to weed out those who
are trying to be players or who are not actually interested in a
committed relationship."

then wait to see what they say.

I think instead of saying " we both need to delete our profiles before
I take you seriously" it would be better to have that discussion of
what it means to be in a committed relationship. std panels? meeting
friends or family? some sort of date investment? and then bring up
in the conversation deleting profiles (because it's not like puttingup a
new profile is hard or that people might not have two profiles.)

but you two come up what a committmed relarionshio looks like together
rsther than you dictating right off the bat. make it a "we" decision, not
a "me" decision.

carmen_b
02-21-2020, 02:10 AM
^ I really like your first paragraph !
It's great phrasing.

I was reading some refreshed info from dating coach Evan M. Katz and he was saying that these days you need to say *some* variation of what we mean. Basically .... that you need to make it clear to the guy that you do NOT think it is ok to sleep with him while he is still " looking " around ect.

carmen_b
02-21-2020, 08:07 PM
I guess I misjudged it .

No word from him to schedule Monday or Tues.
I sent a note yesterday that said " I get back Sunday " and didn't hear from him.

I'm dropping it. I don't really care these days. I'll probably just focus on $$$$.

carmen_b
02-21-2020, 08:15 PM
Mr. NY and Aussie B are both trying to pull a " Zombie " ...... resurrection style lol.
Mr. NY invited me to Jackson Hole on Monday ( no thanks, I'm in perfect weather now thank you ).
B is sending " I miss you " stuff .

Dating men my own age does not seem to be working out so I just probably wont for a bit.

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 02:00 AM
I had a few Mai Tais.
Then texted Mr. NY that I was still looking for my companion to travel and fuck across the south west USA.
I told him if he didn't like my offer to send me a referral and that I like skinny,bald, and a perfect sized dick.

lurkingtitties
02-22-2020, 07:11 AM
^ I was reading some refreshed info from dating coach Evan M. Katz and he was saying...

I decided to look this guy up last night and watched a Ted talk of his. What an interesting dude! He got me feeling dare I say optimistic. I’m thinking about buying his ebook and I’m also considering setting up a dating profile for the first time in a while. I get back to my home area in a few weeks-feels like the right timing to start potentially screening people.

miss.a.p1600
02-22-2020, 09:22 AM
I guess I misjudged it .

No word from him to schedule Monday or Tues.
I sent a note yesterday that said " I get back Sunday " and didn't hear from him.

I'm dropping it. I don't really care these days. I'll probably just focus on $$$$.

This is the engineer?

Yeah sounds like you’ve done all you can on your end

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 12:46 PM
^ Yep, the Brewery date guy. I suspect his " on and off " thing that ended 2 months ago probably never ended but I don't really know.
I screened him first ( before even meeting ). Phone # led to full name, led to address , but he is dark on social media. I can't even tell if the FB I found for him is even him.
I think I just misjudged . It was a 4 hour date with a ton of conversation so I guess I thought that he was feeling it. If not why not leave after 60-90 min. right? Plus the long hug he settled into. Maybe he was just trying to get invited back ?

Out of my hands now though.

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 12:47 PM
D took me on a mini road trip and to the mall where he picked out three gorgeous dresses and I picked a DKNY bag. :/
Guilt man. I might give some of these gifts back tomorrow. wth?
He was difficult yesterday because he was making his " intentions " clear ( that he would like me to be his gf ) . He also offered a more minimal " island friend companion " option. Also handsy.
I stayed in his place last night ( separate room ) . His beautiful place has been destroyed by these two cats he adopted. These gorgeous hardwood floors have little litter balls scattered all over. I tried to sweep the place as best I could without him noticing. I'm highly allergic to the damn things so took meds and will need more.

I leave the island tomorrow and just feel akward about feeling like I don't really have anything to go home for really.

miss.a.p1600
02-22-2020, 12:49 PM
He probably was feeling it .... just couldn’t do too much cause that “on off” situation though

Better to find out on the front end (good thing he told you vs lying just to get some pussy) then weeks/months/years later n be rating in “I hate men” thread lol!

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 12:58 PM
He's good. I've been following him for years. He taught me the 2-2-2 method for online dating. 2 days of chit chat on the platform,
two days off platform ( like texting ) , and a date suggestion 2-3 days later ( the man SHOULD initiate at this point). He is big on the whole start chat to meet process being one week maximum.
He is pretty good about telling women to not be scared of making your intentions / what you hope for in dating known also.


I decided to look this guy up last night and watched a Ted talk of his. What an interesting dude! He got me feeling dare I say optimistic. I’m thinking about buying his ebook and I’m also considering setting up a dating profile for the first time in a while. I get back to my home area in a few weeks-feels like the right timing to start potentially screening people.

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 01:02 PM
^ Well .... he didn't tell me. He claimed it ended two months ago . When I asked for a run down of his situation he said " ended two months ago "and then he fumbled a bit and said " it was kind of on and off". It's a good *overall change* that I am learning to ask these things up front and early on though .

I wonder if he is a more frequent drug user too than I'm ok with. He clicked " uses socially " on the drug thing and on the date he told me he " used to " do some drugs back in his other locations ( mushrooms I think was main choice ?). I just do weed edibles here and there ( only a couple times a month ) . I prefer " minimal " drug use v.s. every weekend and I'm not sure where he sits on that.

He is also one of those "extreme" adventure guys. He mostly hang glides now but in the past wing suits and base jumping. I kind of wonder about the psychology behind those choices to be fully honest.

In my Mai Tai haze I sent him a note that I was looking for an emotional connection and sexual companionship . Since there is no reading in the lines there ( I told him exactly what I want ) and he does nothing that is that.


He probably was feeling it .... just couldn’t do too much cause that “on off” situation though

Better to find out on the front end (good thing he told you vs lying just to get some pussy) then weeks/months/years later n be rating in “I hate men” thread lol!

miss.a.p1600
02-22-2020, 02:09 PM
Extreme adventure guys (IMO) is guys that *need* a thrill frequently and this can be the manic people, the narcissistic type people, etc. Also thrill seeking type hobbies are not covered in insurance payouts so Mfs die doing those hobbies, their loved ones are on the hook for their funeral/debts etc - so definitely not a good idea to marry or have kids with guys who continue thrill seeking hobbies

carmen_b
02-22-2020, 02:28 PM
Once I got a whif of him I just was ready to lead him to bed after returning from Hawaii . But ..... logic is making me think now that there is something behind the need to fly off sides of buildings and bridges ect. and that I probably need someone much safer to mate with . Like .... if he can't just enjoy life without this extreme adventure stuff ..... what kind of extreme sexual stuff would it take to get a stiffy for him ? Haha. I am probably overthinking that .

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 12:14 AM
I spied on Aussie B on Instagram. He is in Montana ( becoming much more near my home area than Australia ).
He honestly makes me sick. He is probably looking for a free place to stay or something. He " misses me " he says a week ago.
But ..... no mention of Montana to me or even that he was returning to USA. He was there 11-12 hours ago. He could be in my area by now.

He was asking for updates of when I'd be home 4-5 days ago because he wanted to come visit.
I sent him a sunset palm tree picture back and ignored those texts to give him a little taste of how I felt last May / June.

miss.a.p1600
02-23-2020, 11:50 AM
Ok so I realized - after a bit of reflection - how a couple of amazing dates can lead to posting in “I hate men thread”

...This is the thing I have done wrong especially with guys I underestimated how good a game they have. I would talk to them for hours, talk to them like friends, etc ..... this is not a good Idea and i see why.


https://youtu.be/cgKnJPAyC-c

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 11:54 AM
Aussie B is pressing for my return date.
I could care less about seeing him.
Keep ignoring ? Or figure out a way to fuck with him ?
I think I'll just send more pictures of trees and drinks but I was curious what you guys thought.

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 11:57 AM
I extended Hawaii. I didn't return those dresses to the store ( yet anyway ). They fit amazing. :)

D has booked a sunset dinner for tonight.

miss.a.p1600
02-23-2020, 12:22 PM
Aussie B is pressing for my return date.
I could care less about seeing him.
Keep ignoring ? Or figure out a way to fuck with him ?
I think I'll just keep sending pictures of trees and drinks but I was curious what you guys thought.

Troll him like he tried to troll you.

Tell him what he want to hear (convincingly well).......then do the opposite

Yes I’m thinking petty to get him back

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 01:12 PM
" Oh Baby , I can't wait to see you. Come to city xyz and let me sit on your c$^k . You can stay here with me. "
and then the day of ...... " Oh....... sorry I'm in Hawaii I miscalculated my return. "

miss.a.p1600
02-23-2020, 01:23 PM
^^^ precisely! }:D

MistyGirl
02-23-2020, 01:27 PM
Not sure what it is, but I've had more guys interested in me the past few weeks than ever before.

I've never really had a FWB with someone who was also seeing another girl at the same time, so not sure how to feel about it.

miss.a.p1600
02-23-2020, 01:32 PM
I told the clingy guy that I slipped n fell

Of course his ass tried to use it as a way to invite himself over/get some sex

Then he went back to “are you okay” and “what happened”

I’m going to tell the billiards guy same thing and see how he responds

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 01:35 PM
Really ..... this depends on how YOU feel about it. I am sometimes poly and sometimes monogamous. If you feel comfortable with the situation enjoy it but tune into your feelings about it. If it gives you discomfort and makes you edgy you might need to do something else. For me, it's all about really clear boundaries. If I get a sense of things being " off " or unexplained ( such as how much time is being offered to me / when dates are happening ect. ) I hate the poly life. To me honestly is good. So if he explains that he is seeing someone else as well it tells you WHY he might only have time for you a couple times a week v.s. leaving you wondering.


Not sure what it is, but I've had more guys interested in me the past few weeks than ever before.

I've never really had a FWB with someone who was also seeing another girl at the same time, so not sure how to feel about it.

MistyGirl
02-23-2020, 01:59 PM
Really ..... this depends on how YOU feel about it. I am sometimes poly and sometimes monogamous. If you feel comfortable with the situation enjoy it but tune into your feelings about it. If it gives you discomfort and makes you edgy you might need to do something else. For me, it's all about really clear boundaries. If I get a sense of things being " off " or unexplained ( such as how much time is being offered to me / when dates are happening ect. ) I hate the poly life. To me honestly is good. So if he explains that he is seeing someone else as well it tells you WHY he might only have time for you a couple times a week v.s. leaving you wondering.

That makes sense. And I agree - it's really about honesty. I just haven't been in this situation (at least as far as I know) which is why I'm thinking about it so much. He's really hot though - too hot lol.

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 02:13 PM
Sounds delightful to me and he is being honest so ........ you know my opinion. Enjoy. :)

MistyGirl
02-23-2020, 02:13 PM
Sounds delightful to me and he is being honest so ........ you know my opinion. Enjoy. :)

Thanks :)

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 02:20 PM
Sleep in....
Country Club Noon to 3...
Get ready there and maybe Mac make up counter for eyes at 4:15....
head to dinner .....
Yes B ..... I'm in a total hurry to get back and deal with your bullshit.

I ended up talking very naughty to Mr. NY via text.
I'm not sure why I hate B but I don't hate him ( since both wouldn't really give me the boyfriend link ).
I think his honesty with me is why I don't hate him.

carmen_b
02-23-2020, 08:44 PM
I'm thinking of banging Mr. NY on my return.
I know I probably *shouldn't* honestly but I just haven't had it in me to really give anything to dating .
I left my abuser 41 days ago now. I just couldn't " do " anything if that makes sense.

carmen_b
02-24-2020, 05:26 PM
B has texted again for a location update. I sent a picture of a boat dock and beautiful view.

miss.a.p1600
02-24-2020, 09:15 PM
So my Facebook “friend” hit me up and gave me his number .... i never (or shall I say rarely) call dudes lol so I responded with my number

Couple days later he calls me

He lives in another state though - and I’m not big on LD relationship

I’ll add him to my harem anyways cause he seems like he makes decent money (he told me his salary without realizing it lol) could be better but good enough for now, he lives in a city I’ll be traveling to in a few months for work.

We’ve actually been fb friends for over 10 years. And chatted a bit before. Which I have no recollection of but he remembers well.

He gone say some “I’ve been trying to get you here for the longest!”

In my mind I’m thinking “unless you paying for the ticket, I’m staying at home”

He better thank his lucky stars my work conference happens to be in his city

Ifyouseekamy
02-25-2020, 03:23 AM
I’m not technically dating. I’m good on my own, but I’m open to dating the right guy.

I’ve been attracting more high value men lately into my life experience. Yay!

contagiousglitter
02-25-2020, 08:21 AM
I spied on Aussie B on Instagram. He is in Montana ( becoming much more near my home area than Australia ).
He honestly makes me sick. He is probably looking for a free place to stay or something. He " misses me " he says a week ago.
But ..... no mention of Montana to me or even that he was returning to USA. He was there 11-12 hours ago. He could be in my area by now.

He was asking for updates of when I'd be home 4-5 days ago because he wanted to come visit.
I sent him a sunset palm tree picture back and ignored those texts to give him a little taste of how I felt last May / June.


eventually you could tell him you're home. then see what he says.

be ambivalent. then last minute tell him you went on another trip.

though I'm never fond of telling people when I'm gone because of
theft, so that's if he even knows where you live.

if he's that irritating just let him keep thinking he might have a chance
at using you. and then eight when he thinks he's about to get what he wants...

oh, so sorry.


or...just get him out of your life and be honest that you have zero
interest in anything he had to say and to lose your number.

sure, less petty joy but honestly-- over time he's still taking up
real estate in your head and you're fostering bad emotional habits.

so I guess it depends on short term satisfaction versus long term goals.

miss.a.p1600
02-25-2020, 09:32 AM
I’m ending it with the clingy guy.

His dumb ass text me AGAIN (this has got to be the 4th time) about some dam $2 tacos

He won’t let this fizzle out so I’m going to have the difficult conversation ASAP

carmen_b
02-25-2020, 11:27 AM
^ Haha. Just say you are seeing someone. ;/

It's funny how people are different Miss P. ! I would have done the tacos haha. I love fine dining 100% but also love a good taco haha.

carmen_b
02-25-2020, 11:28 AM
Thanks for your input Contagious. I will just do ...... nothing .
My whole life I have been straight forward and respectful. I saw B Feb. - early May.
In May / June he taught me that you can just ignore what someone is saying ( when reaching out to try to get together / continue a relationship ect ).
You can just send random texts unrelated to what they are saying. That is what I will do.
I might tell him I am seeing someone and it isn't appropriate that I see him on his trip .

On this trip, D has treated me amazingly ( crazy amazing ).
I will post some details later but I am thinking of thanking him somehow ( wink ) and I haven't decided how.

miss.a.p1600
02-25-2020, 12:41 PM
^ Haha. Just say you are seeing someone. ;/

It's funny how people are different Miss P. ! I would have done the tacos haha. I love fine dining 100% but also love a good taco haha.

Lol! I did have a moment where I thought I was being too high society.

I mean, just when I think I might acquiesce- he starts acting too thirsty. I already told him I was busy working and fulfilling other obligations for the next several days. Do you think that stopped him from constantly asking me to meet up with him.

If he could keep his thirst in check I *might* have temporarily overlooked the cheapness. But thirsty AND cheap.

He could have reframed it like “hey come catch this happy hour after work” vs “hey I’m alone at the hood spot Mexican bar for $2 Tuesday”

I guess he wanted to emphasize the special to make sure I don’t order anything over $2 per item lol!

Not that I’d go some place and order $50 entree (if I knew the guy didn’t have money like that) but it’s just going on a date with a guy with a very tight budget seems too restricting to me. I’ll have to question everything I order then - what I’ve noticed with some guys is they’ll order appetizers for themselves but let you order an entree or they’ll ask for the tab before asking if your finished/still hungry or thirsty because they have a very small limit.

Honestly I love doing specials myself and it’s not *that* big of a deal if a guy wants to “save” money but it does stick out as a yellow flag that maybe he’s broke af and can’t afford to eat out without having to penny pinch all the time.

Good point Carmen, better for him to think a dude is in the background (who could kick his ass if he acts crazy or stalkerish) vs possibly compromising myself by friend zoning him.

carmen_b
02-25-2020, 12:52 PM
^ Yeah, I think the only way to sort him is to simply offer a time and place that is to your liking. Then if he doesn't smoothly get there to meet you ...... you have transitioned into seeing someone else ( just actually pursuing other things but oh well .... semantics ). If you need another " sort " method you can say something like " Oh, I am not really in that area . The best area for me is xzy "

To me the tacos are ony a " yellow " flag like you said not a red one. Haha.

carmen_b
02-25-2020, 12:58 PM
I bet D regrets getting these damn cats. I stayed here with him last night after that amazing dinner ( omg ! ) . I would have slept in the bed with him if it wasn't for the allergy thing. He didn't really understand my allergy ( I have to take medicine 8-9 hours ahead and can't touch any fabrics that they have touched ) . It worked out fine though. I'm in my own little guest wing with a guest room and bath where the cats don't go and am able to relax before my flight and pack . I took the medicine earlier in the day in case I made my way over here.