View Full Version : 2019 DATING Adventures Thread (2018 continuation)
charlie61
02-22-2021, 05:31 PM
^OMG, girl... good for you. Nightmare!! Men and their issues. So happy to hear you're done with all of that, ugh. Walking on eggshells.
carmen_b
02-22-2021, 07:58 PM
Aw lurking : It sounds like as far as a break up goes it went pretty ok ! Ugh !
That is weird to chastise you for not texting back ( which I have to assume was probably 3-6 hours not a 24 hour communication gap ).
I remember my nut ball from last winter being SO needy with texting .
:/
I have to admit my first instinct is a *touch* of jealously . Now you live the dream life by dating someone who DOESN'T have a kid hahahah .
Omg I'll probably delete that but it was the first shoot from the hip thing I thought haha.
I just get worn out sometimes with schedule limitations but then I remember kid free dudes not exactly treating me great either so ....... damned if you do damned if you don't I guess.
carmen_b
02-22-2021, 08:02 PM
This week has gone well.
It has been very easy . I'll take it.
I found this thing he has been doing pretty cute. On mornings I don't wake up there he sends pictures of " pieces " of my plants haha . He knows I love the excitement of a new leaf and this one put out such a cute one. I woke up to a photo of it . The other day it was a close up picture a few of the roses he had sent over ( just something to wake up to if I don't wake up here ).
On certain weeks ( like this one ) it bothers me a lot less not to officially live there . I loved my day alone yesterday ( I had family in town Thurs mid day to Sunday mid day ) . After they left I was so happy to be alone all day Sunday the rest of the day. I guess family in town is a great hack for me. J was really sweet and took me + my parents to dinner on Friday. He and daughter came out for an afternoon excursion on Saturday along with my family.
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2021, 08:53 PM
Aw lurking : It sounds like as far as a break up goes it went pretty ok ! Ugh !
That is weird to chastise you for not texting back ( which I have to assume was probably 3-6 hours not a 24 hour communication gap ).
I remember my nut ball from last winter being SO needy with texting .
:/
I have to admit my first instinct is a *touch* of jealously . Now you live the dream life by dating someone who DOESN'T have a kid hahahah .
Omg I'll probably delete that but it was the first shoot from the hip thing I thought haha.
I just get worn out sometimes with schedule limitations but then I remember kid free dudes not exactly treating me great either so ....... damned if you do damned if you don't I guess.
The closest I got to dating a child free dude was the old dude I was dating a couple years ago. He had a 21 year old son.
Great cause the kid was out of the house n somewhat independent.
But sucked cause he’d allow his grown ass son to come back n live with him at times. And then I discovered later in our dating that he didn’t want kids (more kids) but was okay just “being a grandpa”
carmen_b
02-23-2021, 08:53 AM
^ A 21 year old shouldn’t be living there haha.
Get real man. Get a life , a job , room mates.
We all did it and survived !
miss.a.p1600
02-23-2021, 11:06 AM
I agree like quit coddling your son!
From what I recall his son didn’t live there full time. Only short-term when he was in between jobs or needed help.
It was still too much for me. I’d rather my man “help” his kids by paying for their first months rent in an apartment vs. letting them come back home in a house I’d consider mine if we lived together
Cant have no grown ass bay bay kids thinking they run shit when I’m the queen of the house lol!
But yeah the joys of dudes with kids.
carmen_b
02-23-2021, 12:18 PM
^ That is so horrifying to me ( a kid past 20 living at home more than a couple weeks max ).
miss.a.p1600
02-23-2021, 02:02 PM
Yeah ideally them kids never return to the nest after 18
Between 18-25 some of them still haven’t found stability or have been too enabled by parents coddling them.
For me, 25 is the absolute deadline for an adult kid to never return to the nest. It would be super temporary. And I’d make them pay some bills. Ain’t no adult child getting a free ride out of me.
But ideal perfect situation = they don’t return home after 18. I would marry my kids off and/or make sure to hook them up with great careers to ensure my plans.
The most challenging thing about the man with kids is his resources being given to his ex to take care of the kid when kid is with the ex and like training the kid n the kid knowing/ having an understanding........I run this house! Lol.
lurkingtitties
03-06-2021, 05:43 AM
There was some more drama last week after the official breakup that was kinda juicy. (Well it was scary for me actually, but probably an entertaining read!)
So breakup was Monday afternoon. Tuesday I got out of work a bit early so I went to his house to get my crystal. Couldn’t find it on his porch, I got very upset thinking someone had stolen it. Left a note. (I may have called him a dickhead in the note...haha oops!) He unblocked me that afternoon and told me where it was. I didn’t respond which led to him also texting me on WhatsApp and ranting about how I don’t get to treat him that way after what I did. (???)
Wednesday morning I stopped by again on my way to work. Got the crystal from where he told me it was hidden. Felt super relieved to be done with the situation!
Then Wednesday afternoon I get another text from him...a picture of one of his car windows smashed in and a text saying it better not have been me. It took me a minute to even process what I was looking at. The car was intact in his driveway when I was there that morning. I replied “wow. No it wasn’t me.” It was through WhatsApp so I could see that he blocked me again as soon as the text was delivered.
The timing of it totally makes me look guilty AF, but I really didn’t do it. (Haha and he had no way of knowing that I had a way better revenge up my sleeve in the form of the ultrasound pic I sent him this week) I’ve thought of a few different possibilities of what happened.
1. He has enemies or drama that I don’t know about.
2. Random car breakin because it’s a bad neighborhood.
3. He did it himself and is trying to intimidate me.
Either way I want nothing to do with it. I blocked him back after it happened.
lurkingtitties
03-06-2021, 05:51 AM
The whole unintended pregnancy situation was pretty rough but it’s given me a lot of clarity about the kind of guy I want. It completely sucked working M-F the week before the abortion...I’d get home and crawl into bed every afternoon and barely get up to do chores. It was very very hard on my body even so early on in the first trimester.
So I’ve now come to the conclusion that I definitely do want to be a mom, and I need to find a specific kind of guy. One who can provide for me so I don’t have to work full time during a pregnancy or post-partum. And who also is caring and will rub my feet for me/etc while I’m in that intensely vulnerable state for a year or longer.
I think all women deserve that level of care and support during their pregnancies. Reproductive labor literally keeps our society going but pregnant women get treated like crap. Not me though...I’ve made up my mind what I want and I’m going to will that shit into existence.
GlamLifter
03-30-2021, 07:47 AM
This is not really dating, but I think it goes in this thread!? Ok, I'll try to cut it down to the bare essentials here, having details out that might need to be explained later.
I’m having this huge crush on my PT, its been like this since we started working together in January.
To be straight, I'm not looking for a relationship, but I just can’t let go thinking of being fucked really good by his super fit and muscular body, I love his personality too. Even though it might hurt our professional relationship, I need some adventure and excitement in my sex life and have decided I will make a move tonight. (My relationship with BF is more based on the fact I need a place to live and we both need sex.)
I have laid out a few bates lately and been looking for any signs from PT if he invites to anything that could lead somewhere, but he’s been so damn professional all the time. In most other situations, that would be highly appreciated behavior!
I have asked him to meet me 30mins prior to my work out tonight to go through my competition schedule just to get him in the back office and hopefully I’ll find an occasion to let him know, or show him, show him I’m interested, one way or the other...
Tbc.
kimbe
03-30-2021, 02:00 PM
..but he’s been so damn professional all the time. In most other situations, that would be highly appreciated behavior!
Of course he is, he has to be, or at least he has to be pretending he is.. Everything else could ruin his business. I guess he might be seeing it different if an obvious initiative comes from you.
carmen_b
03-30-2021, 02:32 PM
^ Same thoughts.
Assure him it’s 0 risk.
Also assure totally ok if he isn’t interested.
I bet he will be haha.
:)
GlamLifter
03-30-2021, 03:07 PM
Actually I think I’m going to offer him a bj, hoping for an appropriate situation. I like to go straight to the point and few things shows your dedication better. Idk, maybe I’m wrong.
I’m heading over right now, feeling somewhat nervous about the outcome.
kimbe
03-30-2021, 03:25 PM
Actually I think I’m going to offer him a bj, hoping for a appropriate situation. I like to go straight to the point and I few things shows your dedication better. Idk, maybe I’m wrong.
I’m heading over right now, feeling somewhat nervous about the outcome.
I'm with you on the straight to the point tactic, I like that too! That won't go wrong as long as he plays along, but it would put you in a somewhat difficult and embarrassing position if he doesn't. Good luck though!
charlie61
03-30-2021, 03:38 PM
Of course he is, he has to be, or at least he has to be pretending he is.. Everything else could ruin his business. I guess he might be seeing it different if an obvious initiative comes from you.
Agreed - especially in this economic climate, he'd probably be scared to lose a good client. And honestly, if i were a male PT, I'd be so scared that female clients might misinterpret attention and care, since PTs see people in such vulnerable positions, both physically and emotionally. I'd honestly probably want a straight, female PT for this reason, as I'd be highly likely to develop a romantic attraction if i were seeing a PT regularly and they were being super encouraging and kind - I'm a people pleaser. I'm one of those weirdos who briefly falls in love with anyone who is randomly kind to me, lol.
GlamLifter
03-31-2021, 12:46 PM
As I mentioned I left some details out of my initial post, one which is the fact I’ve had a stressed economy lately and asked PT twice to pay him late. My finical issues makes this whole situation more delicate as I also have a potential goal to trade sexual benefits for a lower rate. And I have to be so honest to you all and say that I’m keeping that option open as well.
Edit: My general economic situation is good, it’s just that I’ve had to take some leave from work to manage a very busy competition schedule and several really large expenses whose all gone way over budget.
Btw, yesterday went something like this: We met at the back office as planned but realized quickly that he wondered why I wanted to talk over the subject, as we had already settled it last week. For a moment it was an awkward situation where I feel both of us were trying to find out what the other one was thinking.. To keep the initiative, I quickly moved over and sat down on my knees in front of him and just told him to pull down his shorts (I’m not a stranger to giving a bj, but usually not in that much in doubt if I’m doing the right thing!).
He then got to his feet and I was relieved to notice he was just going to lock the door. He then came standing in front of me and I pulled down his shorts and boxer and and got to work. Little was said except his occasionally load moaning, certain situations are better solved when little or nothing said!
After a while (5mins?) he pulled out and said he needed a break and we started again I guess he held for 10mins.
After I finished him I noticed how quickly and almost routinely he pulled out a couple of wet wipes from a dispenser on the desk and handed them to me almost as nothing had happened. As it was pure routine…maybe it is, Probably I’m thinking too much. Idk..
Next scheduled appointment is tomorrow. Each time I get a message, I can’t wait to check if it is from him. I hope he’ll text me, I feel puzzled right now and not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow.
kimbe
03-31-2021, 01:20 PM
Just face it, since he has reasons to believe you're into trouble economically my first thought would be that he would think you're looking for a discount on his rates.
I'm sorry for your problems but can't see it will hurt you case here, rather the opposite. He'll probably be fucking you anyway.
GlamLifter
04-01-2021, 10:02 AM
PT finally texted me this morning when I was heading or work:
”See you tonight! Just let me know if you want to ”meet early ;)”, if so, we can certainly discuss my rates and your payment plan ;).
I hope we still can maintain a professional relationship, I really enjoy working with you! :) ”
Jucie
04-01-2021, 01:10 PM
First, I’d just like to warn you about the fact than a lot of married men seems to live in the belief that getting a blowjob is less of a sin than having sex. What I mean is that he doesn’t necessary want more than an quick bj.
I’ve personally learned the hard way that trainers are notorious players and known for their willingness to trade on their rates for sexual benefits. Of course there are exemptions but I’ve ended up trading sexual benefits (bj’s etc) for economical benefits with most of those I’ve had.
Think of it, they’re in the perfect position, surrounded by a lot of hot women that often have to prioritize their spendings.
As I mentioned I left some details out of my initial post, one which is the fact I’ve had a stressed economy lately and asked PT twice to pay him late. My finical issues makes this whole situation more delicate as I also have a potential goal to trade sexual benefits for a lower rate. And I have to be so honest to you all and say that I’m keeping that option open as well.
Edit: My general economic situation is good, it’s just that I’ve had to take some leave from work to manage a very busy competition schedule and several really large expenses whose all gone way over budget.
I don’t see any problem here, either he’s going to give you a lower rate, or he’s going to fuck you (my understanding of the situation). Both ways your wishes are fulfilled.
charlie61
04-01-2021, 02:32 PM
PT finally texted me this morning when I was heading or work:
”See you tonight! Just let me know if you want to ”meet early ;)”, if so, we can certainly discuss my rates and your payment plan ;).
I hope we still can maintain a professional relationship, I really enjoy working with you! :) ”
Daaaaamn, girl!! Lol!! Glad you got the response you were looking for! I feel like his response is pretty clear without being sleazy, which is nice. Doesn't seem like this is his first time, for sure.
GlamLifter
04-02-2021, 08:33 AM
When I met yesterday the setting was more relaxed and he took me quickly though financials first:
If we continue to "meet early",(which is the phrase he consistently uses) he offered financially to complimentary upgrade me to another plan, plus take 10% off the rate I’m paying today. It will basically mean that I will get one extra session each week, up to from two to three, which is great for me! In addition I’ll get better competition follow-up and he will provide supplements, protein powder and such items significantly discounted. All in all it’s quite a lot of money saved!
I said I could live with that and he got up and ready and this time I took my top off and thought I was going to let him TF first but he just said that he wanted me to start sucking and that he would prefer it to be just sucking, at least for now..
During work out afterwards, I clearly noticed during the exercises where he assisted me, that he was much closer to me, held his hands on me in another way, more sensitive rather than just as support, than he ever have done before. At least I feel I’ve broken the ice.
Daaaaamn, girl!! Lol!! Glad you got the response you were looking for! I feel like his response is pretty clear without being sleazy, which is nice. Doesn't seem like this is his first time, for sure.
Yes, it all seems too well directed to be first time..
charlie61
04-02-2021, 01:40 PM
^super hot!!!!
kimbe
04-03-2021, 01:02 PM
@GlamLifter, I'm not trying to be a joy killer here, but take this from one that's been there, done that and see it happen all the time.
I'm not sure, but to me it seems he's done a better deal than you. Men are generally speaking very horny beings, getting 3 bj's a week just from you must be like a dream. He's probably getting favors from others as well. Just keep in mind it's easy to be exploited and you're vulnerable because of your economic issues which he probably uses for all it's worth.
You're looking at a 10% cost reduction, 10% isn't that much, it's close to what's negotiable under normal conditions. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, but I think you should have gotten more than 10% even though you like him.
He probably have those slots available anyway nowadays and, depending on his deal with the gym, it doesn't cost him anything to give you the session.
lurkingtitties
04-03-2021, 02:18 PM
@GlamLifter, I'm not trying to be a joy killer here, but take this from one that's been there, done that and see it happen all the time.
I'm not sure, but to me it seems he's done a better deal than you. Men are generally speaking very horny beings, getting 3 bj's a week just from you must be like a dream. He's probably getting favors from others as well. Just keep in mind it's easy to be exploited and you're vulnerable because of your economic issues which he probably uses for all it's worth.
You're looking at a 10% cost reduction, 10% isn't that much, it's close to what's negotiable under normal conditions. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, but I think you should have gotten more than 10% even though you like him.
He probably have those slots available anyway nowadays and, depending on his deal with the gym, it doesn't cost him anything to give you the session.
That was kinda my feeling as well when reading the deal he proposed, but didn't have enough firsthand knowledge of training costs and whatnot to be certain...
GlamLifter
04-03-2021, 02:38 PM
I see what you mean both of you, but it’s simply the best I could get out of it.
He wasn’t even going to offer me the 10%, just the upgraded plan, I had to make it very clear that my main issue were money, and no additional session would solve that.
After some back and forth he reluctantly gave me those 10%, I was hoping for 25 or even better, my expectations were probably to high.
GlamLifter
04-03-2021, 02:47 PM
^super hot!!!!
If it’s hot it’s because it’s sort of dirty and forbidden, at least I feel dirty since it’s so well arranged.
charlie61
04-03-2021, 06:00 PM
^I hope it's okay that i said it was hot - i think i remember you saying that you have a crush on this guy, right? I hope you aren't feeling exploited or anything... it sounded to me like a mutually beneficial deal, where you blow this hot trainer that you already had a crush on. But let me know if i misinterpreted!
GlamLifter
04-04-2021, 04:46 AM
^I hope it's okay that i said it was hot - i think i remember you saying that you have a crush on this guy, right? I hope you aren't feeling exploited or anything... it sounded to me like a mutually beneficial deal, where you blow this hot trainer that you already had a crush on. But let me know if i misinterpreted!
You got it right, I definitely don't feel exploited, it all started on my initiative!
GlamLifter
04-04-2021, 03:50 PM
PT day today again, I got a message from him around noon and the back office where we do our thing would not be available tonight.
He wants to pick me up (in five minutes from now), so I could do my thing in his car.. Gave him thumbs up and a pick up point down the road.
GlamLifter
04-07-2021, 01:19 PM
PT day tonight.. :)
The other day in the car was - well - I’d forgot how cramped it actually is to give road head…:D
carmen_b
04-07-2021, 02:06 PM
^ Truly one of those better in theory ideas ha.
Shared showers too !
kimbe
04-07-2021, 03:07 PM
The other day in the car was - well - I’d forgot how cramped it actually is to give road head…:D
Depends on the car, when he drives my truck it's ok, but in his smaller sedan, it hurts my back.
miss.a.p1600
04-07-2021, 09:06 PM
Hopefully the car is parked
Most dudes are horrible drivers and probably even worse if they’re driving while receiving pleasure.
kimbe
04-08-2021, 12:46 AM
^^He will typically pull over after a while, well in advance of his orgasm. ;)
GlamLifter
04-08-2021, 11:07 AM
We just went to a parking lot. No way I could give PT a full bj while driving, he’s so turned on, exited, loud, and physical! I can’t really see him able to drive!
carmen_b
04-13-2021, 09:43 AM
As mentioned is Random, we are attempting the transition to me here 6 nights a week WHEN I'm in town.
I felt like he was really gentle and graceful in the process of brainstorming options.
He didn't freak out over it and listened well when I was mentioning having a hard time.
it seems like we are moving forward together.
I'm often not in town that much so it was more a principle that I felt strongly about.
A relationship has to move forward or die ( be put to death lol ).
On a practical note this means my living expenses will be like $100 a month factoring in about two vacant airbnb stays ( it's a 50 / 50 of having one on the night I'd need most often ) and two hotel rooms a month . I offered him some money again to contribute ( since I'm here a lot ) and he won't take it . I'm going to put some $ aside for summer travel funding for us. i know he really likes it when I can save him an hour in the day ( such as picking his daughter up or just getting her out of the house so he can work ) so I'll keep doing that.
I'll add in a lot of sex and bj's I guess lol as a solid contribution. He wants our sex life to be like it used to and I think it could be . I'm at least willing to try. :)
I do hope it goes well because negotiations / adjustments are always a hard thing.
I have an " emotional armor " approach too ( just in case he goes back on this plan I'm 100% leaving ).
I'll have a better sense when it's a little more settled.
I actually may adjust it myself on his daughters 4 night stays. We had me there for two just this weekend and it was enough. :/
I don't think those long stays need me there 3 nights. That was factoring in his parents taking her all day one day too.
carmen_b
04-13-2021, 09:57 AM
My period was also 5 days late.
I think it started thank god.
I had myself convinced it probably wasn't real and it was implantation bleeding ( I think I have posted before about my extreme fear of pregnancy ).
carmen_b
04-13-2021, 01:37 PM
I remember going to counseling with my partner 2011-2018 at around a year together too.
Maybe I’m hard to deal with at this phase.
carmen_b
04-13-2021, 06:58 PM
I think I am going to circle with J tomorrow and re-cap our plans.
I want to point out to him that I am bringing the sex back again lol.
Or maybe I won't point all this out lol.
:)
charlie61
04-13-2021, 07:35 PM
^Yeah, i would show rather than tell.
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 01:32 PM
We had a convo by the pool the other day and I wanted to give it 3-4 days to settle. It wasn't anything huge but he gave an indication that he thought no pro therapy was the way to go and I wanted to try to be open with the idea.
It's a little later now and I find myself not agreeing with it and circling back.
^ To keep it brief and concise I just mentioned via text that I don't think no therapy is a good move.
I'm in a place of very low trust ( considering this massive fight I feel I've taken on ).
I find myself resenting the fight and how difficult at every turn the relationship " growing " was !
I think I would just encourage other people to let go if things are not flowing.
I did the best I could *at the time* but am holding a lot of anger and resentment currently.
I need PRO help letting it go v.s. just " seeing what happens ".
I mean .... we obviously NEED the counseling. I wasn't just suggesting it randomly. I do still enjoy him and enjoy his company too.
I just wish there was a more formal type of apology or something about the difficulty / lack of smoothness in transitions ect.
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 01:54 PM
Keep in mind I'm venting here but there are nice moments / wonderful meals / even some great sex ( last Wed. ) !
We still have sex but I operate at a " lower " sexual frequency lately ..... closer to about once a week which really isn't what I want either.
( may delete all haha )
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 02:07 PM
I just find it weird he didn't give me the whole suburban trophy wife / gf experience.
^ I guess I just assumed it would happen at the one year mark.
I think I added dancing into my schedule just to have something to do a night or two a week . I feel awkward about that choice lately ( mostly schedule wise as the nearest club is nearly two hours away ). Maybe when clubs are open earlier I'll like the decision. I didn't tell him either . I sort of snuck off to try it again haha ( he knows I was a stripper and has openly said to do it anytime I feel like ).
He didn't even do anything *that* bad ( spending 5 days a week with someone might work for a lot of people at the 10-12 month mark) . I feel like we can get past it but not without therapy.
charlie61
04-19-2021, 03:13 PM
^Yeah, and i think you saw this coming, too. That getting what you want is really only half of the problem. The bigger issue, in some ways, is feeling like you had to drag him there + him not wanting to take those steps with you. And it's tough to get past that feeling of resentment. I'd bet he has some of his own lingering resentments around that. And i don't think any of that would go away with an apology from him. I don't think it'd be a genuine apology, because i don't think he feels guilty (and maybe he shouldn't - he's just different).
Would you consider solo therapy instead, to air your full frustration without worrying you'll say something hurtful?
charlie61
04-19-2021, 03:16 PM
Sorry, Carmen, i edited to add more! :P
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 03:19 PM
^ I stopped therapy but I’d definitely be willing to pick it up again.
NOT at the cheap place. Lol.
I learned solo and we learned together cheap therapy brings more problems .
^ The nutshell ha.
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 03:21 PM
I’m attempting another energy shift “ back “.
I have my AirBnB vacant.
I plan to stay here until Wed.
That would be a four day break for us .
We let his daughter play with my niece and nephew Sat and Sun for a couple hours but I thought maybe a little break ( me not being there at all Sat - Wed ) might help.
carmen_b
04-19-2021, 03:24 PM
This is actually a really common problem in step-ish families.
The person “ coming in “ to an established home can feel alienated and unwelcome.
The partner whose home it is can feel encroached on .
^ It’s common even when everyone is 100% agreeing on movement forward.
Sometimes I’m like “ eh just just give me a guy with normal income again “.
I think I made many exceptions going back to a respect for J’s high hustle.
It wasn't an apology that I was looking for . More of an acknowledgement that the patience level required was very hard for me . I think I was always hoping for some type of " you belong here " moment or indication.
carmen_b
04-20-2021, 09:13 AM
While he doesn’t *have to* easily offer me the 6 days a week ( it wasn’t easy it took another threat to leave ) , I don’t *have to* touch him or give him any attention either.
My relationship may end it this ridiculous stand off . ^^^
:/