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miss.a.p1600
05-06-2019, 06:05 PM
I just had a super weird date. He called it a date, so I'll use that word.

It started out great. We talked for a long time over drinks, at which point we found out that we have a lot in common. Then he suggested we go for a walk. He tried to get all cozy immediately, putting his arm around me, trying to dance with me and kiss me, and I'm just thinking... I need more time, dude. Maybe because I'm 30. I've seen some shit. I've had some epic dates, and had some amazing chemistry, and you're unfortunately not ticking either of those boxes.

I tried to just passively ignore it, avoid kissing, turn my head, and all of that. It was just ridiculous. He suggested we should sit down at a bench, held my hand, and tried to kiss me again. I just flat out told him, I'm sorry, I'm usually the type to meet someone first and then see where it goes on the next date. He didn't say much, then said he was going to leave and go hang out with his friends. At that point, I said something about how I hope he doesn't think I'm a huge bitch, and I asked if he was just looking for a hookup. I think I really dug the hole deeper, lol, but seriously! Why get all aggro just because a girl doesn't want to kiss you an hour after meeting you?

I'm 30 and he's 25, so... yeah.

Ugh. God. Where are my sweet sexy nerd boys... I miss them so much!

It's the curse of the Tinder culture! Dudes now have the gall to expect kiss/pda on the first date. If both people want to then cool but to expect it is a whole nother thing. I once went on a date with a dude, nice place - one of my favs actually, and at the end this fool was all in my personal space with these lame ass googly eyes trying to run his filthy hands through my hair n shit.

I laughed it off and hurried up and got in my car.

Then the bitch had the gall to haggle me a couple days later about it like 'Oh I can't believe you didn't kiss me after we left xyz restaurant' like this mf was really pissed cause he was expecting it.

smdh! what a narcissist!

Anyhow hopefully I'll have a date this week. Trying to work my womanly magic on a dude I used to date several years back. We will see if he has good sense and accepts the opportunity to spend some of the best moments of his life with a woman of my caliber...

seashell
05-07-2019, 11:16 AM
^Omg, the gall to text you after and ask why you didn't kiss him!

My real estate agent has been texting me, and he already sold me an apartment last week, so I'm guessing he's attempting to flirt. I told him I was going hiking this weekend, and he asked if I was going by myself. I said yes. He's pretty cute, so I'd love it if he invited himself along.

Although when I went to his office, his coworkers were flirting with him like crazy. Some of the other realtors are hot girls in their mid-20's, and they were literally....... calling him daddy. LOL

seashell
05-07-2019, 12:18 PM
Yayyy, he did invite himself onto the hike! Success! :D

miss.a.p1600
05-07-2019, 12:58 PM
Looks like the guy from the past is going to meet up with me this week.

I’m seconding in the dating success as well

carmen_b
05-12-2019, 09:10 PM
B is researching airfares 1-2 weeks ahead of time like a grown up.
I'm finishing a big work credential on track regardless of what he does.
I'll tell him in 4-5 days that I plan to start seeing others next week if we don't have a solid plan to reunite.

His texts ( we chat every day ) seem to have a " we are together " vibe and he says he is coming back .
I just don't FEEL it without a ticket *booked* and a plan. I feel angry and agitated again.
I think I'll just communicate much less in next 4-5 days

I'm in a very detached phase with B . I'm off doing some big things ( he is missing out ).

carmen_b
05-15-2019, 12:28 PM
^ Bumping to my star player . ;)

miss.a.p1600
05-18-2019, 08:59 AM
Looks like the guy from the past is going to meet up with me this week.

I’m seconding in the dating success as well

We finally met up. Thank goodness he paid. I got throughly tipsy bordering on drunk. He kissed me at the end. Dudes probably be thinking I’m a horrible kisser cause I hate kissing with tongue (unless I’m really horny and the dude is totally hot and good at tongue kissing which most of them aren’t) especially after I had food and liquor and not a chance to refresh my breath

carmen_b
05-18-2019, 07:50 PM
I feel like G is going to swoop and obliterate B’s chances.
I was thinking about it as a first come / first served basis.
If B was worried about me getting taken up, he would BE here or encourage me to book a ticket to him to MAKE SURE that didn't happen.

When I started chatting with G , B had just left the country ( with no details of a return date of course ).

I figured I'd let it play out. I mean ..... G could be a total cat fish situation ( lets hope not ) and he can't video call due to being on a military base in Turkey currently. I asked if he would be back in early June ( and joked that I wasn't considering taking him on a trip right away but just wanted a sense of his timing ). He is thinking it probably would be early June.

I can wait for him if we are talking 10-11 days ? How can I not ? :)

carmen_b
05-19-2019, 01:32 PM
G has texted EVERY day for 17 days. ;)
He's consistent and solid. If he is not a cat fish , it's ON.

I am a little worried because he went to high school in Minnesota. I have slight audio issues ( that accent is a sound I have problems with ). I am hoping he didn't pick it up. He was 15 when he moved there. I think his voice would already be established by then ?

AChildOfBoredom
05-21-2019, 12:21 PM
I am also talking to G a very handsome military man ( he is stationed in Turkey and will be about 2.5 weeks still ). I made an exception to chat with him. My profile clearly says to not contact unless ready to meet within 10 days. He asked me for an exception and due to his photos , I granted it. Y'all would have too if you had seen his photos. ;)
I have enjoyed our conversations a lot .
We have talked over a week ( it seemed harmless enough to chat ).

I hesitate to say anything here ! I still think this thread is cursed.

He is very up front that he is looking for serious . He isn't shy about wanting a girlfriend / future wife situation.
We have gone over a lot ..... goals ....... day to day life ..... love languages .....preferences in relationships .... family backgrounds ect.
He is a widower with a 5 year old son.

Are you able to validate his authenticity? Because a lot of scammers from Nigeria primarily have been passing themselves off as service members, using photos they snag from social media sites. Though they more often claim to be deployed to Afghanistan or Syria, and they often make claims that they need money for things that either a fee isn’t charged for, or else the military furnishes, such as food, medical supplies, airfare, paperwork, etc. and they like to claim their bank accounts are frozen while they’re deployed.

https://www.cid.army.mil/romancescam.html

carmen_b
05-21-2019, 12:54 PM
^ Hmmmm. Yeah, something to be aware of !
I did a light google stalk for him ( I online screen EVERYONE I date) .

Maybe I'll ask to see his FB or Insta.
I would never send money either. I'm well aware the military takes care of service members financially. I'm pretty military savvy.

I'm pretty sure he's authentic because his photos match his pictures he sends from over there ( he usually sends a pic every day or two just out on patrol , ect. )

We send photos a lot of our daily lives / getting to know each other. I'm going to look through the images better and scan for the name tag too. There may be the risk factor of taking to multiple women ( that is something I know military guys do from experience ). So ..... totally accepting that risk for sure ...... but I don't think he's a creep.

There is time processing out ect. so even if " coming home by early June " is accurate ....... he could be on another base ect. before coming here.

AChildOfBoredom
05-22-2019, 06:40 PM
Out on patrol… in Turkey?

Nikki_Fox
05-22-2019, 09:38 PM
I read this in an ambien fog last night - and not to rain on your deal BUT I have heard that same military story multiple times - wife died kid with family in the states- im in Turkey or whatever foreign country - secret clearance cant videochat blah blah blah If a guy cant video chat with me I generally dont invest any time in them until they are able to video verify - I also dated a Bosnian ( lived in the US )who's english was terrible when we met so Im pretty astute in picking up the subtle ways foreigners use written english incorrectly or not in a customary American way - I genuinely hope that is not the case with this guy but it just sounds to familiar - Im sorry I promise Im not saying this to be debbie downer I dont want to see you hurt/disappointed/wasting your time. Just be cautious :crossfing :hug:

carmen_b
05-23-2019, 01:17 AM
Syrian / Turkish border. Looked up the mission and it seems legit.

That would be totally crazy if a scammer got me caught up though haha. It would be me too that gets hooked with nice looking photos ( would serve me right haha ). I'll keep you posted and if things seem shady I'll look into it much closer. For now, I'm kind of casual about it because I need that " in person " thing. I know people get really caught up with online or pen pals loves but it's just isn't anything really without voice / smell / touch. We would have to get all that going to even make a determination at all.


Out on patrol… in Turkey?

Oh no way Nikki ...... you too ? Whoa. Now you guys really have my attention if you have heard of the same " story lines ". Ah DAMN IT that would suck but considering I would have also pulled the plug on a mid west accent and no other reason I'm not really out much. If it is a scammer they have been a pleasure to talk to and not creepy ( the scammer would know a ton about me though ).

Nikki_Fox
05-23-2019, 06:16 AM
Yea I broke one down one time and he confessed that he was from/lived in South Africa- �� I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting the fake profiles though ha - and I will not talk to anyone who cannot / will not video verify Period. I reached out last night to a friend who is active military and travels overseas to get a more concrete answer. Here is his reply :

Hey Nikki, thats a broad question, most military members overseas can video chat. Select few are in locations where it might not be allowed at all but you wouldnt be talkingn to them on a dating app either if that was the case. Some travel I do. So while traveling they might not have internet etc for periods of time. But when they get where they are going it shouldnt be an issue.

Hope that helps a little.

seashell
05-25-2019, 02:14 PM
My mom has gotten catfished a few times on dating apps... I feel bad for her, but thank god she never sent them any money! lol

I never did end up going hiking with K, the Albanian guy. I was a little suspicious of his intentions, because he's the real estate agent who sold me my apartment. I ignored him for a bit, but he kept trying to talk to me, and finally said straight up that he wasn't trying to sell me something, he just wanted to go out with me. Fair enough, lol.

The thing is, I've been sooo broke, since all my money has gone to buying and furnishing my new home. I barely have any cute clothes to wear, since I've been living out of a suitcase. I'm nervous to go out with him, lol. He seems like a super sweet guy, I'm honestly more intrigued by him than anyone I've met in a long time.

baer45
05-25-2019, 02:36 PM
I liked Bumble. I liked the concept of reaching out to dudes first. And the dude I met in there was pretty decent compared to the sociopath I met on match

But I guess you just have to do your own testing to see what site is best for you

I like Bumble too. I get to ask what I want to know first and am not bothered by the unattractive idiots.

miss.a.p1600
05-25-2019, 03:08 PM
My mom has gotten catfished a few times on dating apps... I feel bad for her, but thank god she never sent them any money! lol

I never did end up going hiking with K, the Albanian guy. I was a little suspicious of his intentions, because he's the real estate agent who sold me my apartment. I ignored him for a bit, but he kept trying to talk to me, and finally said straight up that he wasn't trying to sell me something, he just wanted to go out with me. Fair enough, lol.

The thing is, I've been sooo broke, since all my money has gone to buying and furnishing my new home. I barely have any cute clothes to wear, since I've been living out of a suitcase. I'm nervous to go out with him, lol. He seems like a super sweet guy, I'm honestly more intrigued by him than anyone I've met in a long time.

I got semi catfished on match (ranted about the dude for months on here) when this dude posted some pics from his glory days when he was young. I show up to the date, nice place btw, and here he is looking old in the face. Definitely 15 year old pics.

Then the bitch had the gall to say the pics I send him looked photoshopped.

That’s one reason I prefer just freestyle method of meeting cause I ain’t got time to deal with catfish hypocrites who send old ass high school pics, show up looking 50, ask for pics n FaceTime, then complain about the blessings they are given.

Anyhow, I’m volunteering at a hospital in a couple weeks - hope to meet some wealthy fellow volunteers. And trying to figure out where my next freestyle mission will be

carmen_b
05-25-2019, 09:37 PM
I have taken a break. I bet no one thought I could do it. Haha. It's been nearly 4 weeks so I came to read about everyones adventures.

carmen_b
05-26-2019, 11:19 AM
B FINALLY confessed last night that funds were an issue. This is the FIRST time I've heard about it.

I didn't think he was a lazy person but he now he seems to be back in Oz just crashing at a friends. Not really making a life for himself there . Not getting back to me. Not offering a couples life together there. He seems stuck.

That's probably why he didn't tell me. I work very hard to do whatever I want.

I guess I'm wanting A LOT though admittedly. I want a guy who has flex to travel together. I'd settle for someone with a local job though and " normal " life if THEY were ok with dating me. I forget sometimes how the sex work thing just doesn't jive with everyone ( I really don't care ). I'm not quitting dancing right now. I'm on a hot streak.

carmen_b
05-26-2019, 11:26 AM
( delete )

carmen_b
05-26-2019, 11:43 AM
I feel really grossed out by men. I think 4 days of dancing in a row was too much for my mind.
I probably will need to take a week off men before trying vanilla dating again.

Logically I know that my draw to B is just biology.
He is the last person to give me that " sex chemical " high. To really get rid of him , I need a new lover. ;/
I am really craving that familiarity that he offers and it's been hard on me these last few weeks.
He really deserves me to just say " oh, I have another boyfriend now " .
Instead ..... I will actually disclose when I start seeing others and be transparent.

UPDATE : Disclosed. He couldn't even get to wi-fi May 28 or 29 ( at all it seems the entire two days ) so I just had to tell him by text that I thought it was best to say our goodbyes in a few days if we didn't have a plan.
I would have done it WITH A PHONE CALL but he kind of forced my hand on it.

miss.a.p1600
05-26-2019, 12:37 PM
Shiiiit .... I told my ex I had a man and was engaged (even though I wasn’t really)

Ironically he started acting more respectfully when he thought there was a man in the background to protect me and thinking other men desired me for long term commitments.

Sometime you have to lie to them so they can keep their egos in check.

Works best if there’s a slim to no chance anyone will find out the truth.

carmen_b
05-26-2019, 12:56 PM
^ I've done it too ! I wanted to see my ex who left me squirm a bit so " dating " ( in reality ) came into " boyfriend " in my stories just a few months after he left.
It didn't really do anything or really work but I think it did jolt him a bit ( he had a phase of leaving letters on my door last Oct ) .

carmen_b
05-26-2019, 03:41 PM
Maybe this is just " me " time. I just went to eat alone and it was nice. My empty house seems to be where I have my worst moments. I shared this place with my long term ex for over two years . I should probably start fresh. I was too exhausted last fall to do anything. I should get away from the ghost of my critical ex haunting me.

If I want any interaction ( it's a big IF ) , I will go old school. I live near so many bars / breweries.
Going to any of them is honestly probably a much wiser use of time than apps.

J the kinkster is circling ( he's harmless and wouldn't reach out if I asked him not to ). He knows about B. He's a smart cookie. He has " touched base " often to chat about the breweries / things he liked in my hood about 3-4 weeks after B left. I have my reasons for not seeing him. My body goes go crazy for him. I also feel like I should charge him as he is not offering a relationship of any sort ( he likes fem - dom and worshipping ). He's extremely fun to see.
;/

carmen_b
05-29-2019, 08:15 PM
How do you guys decide when you are READY to start reaching out again ?
I worry about opening that " tap " of endless back and forth if I start up again ......
Maybe that just means I'm not quite ready ? !

It was SO silly to hold out hope for B ( I am embarrassed ) !

charlie61
05-29-2019, 09:05 PM
^Girl, you were dickmatized! No judgment from us. Most of us have been in situations with men where we were blind to logic. Just glad you didn't do anything too crazy while you were in it!

AChildOfBoredom
05-29-2019, 09:26 PM
Went on another date tonight, after much badgering from friends. Same old story. I drove myself, paid my own way, and declined to give him my number at the end of the night. It's kind of a paradox... I'm not some hermit who wants to spend my life alone, but at the same time, I just go on these dates and feel absolutely nothing.

carmen_b
06-02-2019, 07:36 PM
Chef referenced something about getting together AFTER he worked ( after midnight ) .
^ Noooooooo. I pretended not to see it.

I wonder if our schedules may just not work ? When I'm in my home city I usually keep a normal work day ( 9-6 ) and like to arrange social outings for evenings.
Movie Version:
The chef lures the lady with delicious offerings ( randomly his restaurant is just empty and he doesn't seem worried about it ).

charlie61
06-02-2019, 07:39 PM
^Yeah, full-time restaurant workers are notorious for incredibly taxing, long shifts that prevent any normalcy during their free time.

carmen_b
06-02-2019, 07:44 PM
Guilt is kicking in. I think the way B phrases things in texts MAKES me feel guilty.
What we have is a NON CONSENSUAL relationship - I NEVER gave consent to long distance !
He just assumed we would " stay together " ?

Sometimes I feel like I am just getting this gentle man. Sometimes I feel like he must be lying to me.
WAITING doesn't make sense when my income ( day job ) is 90% mobile . That dynamic changes it.
People do long distance because each of their jobs rely on a certain area usually.

Logically I know I just need to date .

miss.a.p1600
06-02-2019, 08:23 PM
He might be playing mind games so just be careful girl!

I’m going to see if I can line up a game of pool with my girlfriends this week and send some teaser pics to invite dude to take me out again if they say they are busy I may just go by myself and convince a single guy to play

carmen_b
06-02-2019, 08:25 PM
You found one you like enough to want to see again ? Yeah !
He might be playing mind games so just be careful girl!

I’m going to see if I can line up a game of pool with my girlfriends and send some teaser pics to invite dude to take me out again

carmen_b
06-02-2019, 08:27 PM
DAMN IT ! I want snuggles and company . I'm creeped out by not meeting in public first and vetting everyone very well.

I loose ALL trust if anyone even hints at meeting at their home. It's a faux pass. They should never even hint about it on a first meeting. This other person I was talking to hinted about it. But only after I referenced cuddling. I just said I preferred to meet in public and I think we will later. I must be in a ginger mood. These guys look similar, haha.

miss.a.p1600
06-02-2019, 08:35 PM
You found one you like enough to want to see again ? Yeah !

More like a comfort zone. I’ve known him for over a decade and we dated in the past. Not sure if it will lead to anything long term but at least he’s pretty fun to hang out with. I prob should find some new dudes cause I hate being in a spot where I’m hung up on 1 dude (who almost always never acts right)

seashell
06-03-2019, 02:57 PM
Omg I'm going out with two different guys this week, and I'm genuinely nervous!

On Thursday, drinks with my cute Albanian real estate agent.

This weekend, going out of town to see a castle with my Polish friend. I think he just wants to be friends, but he's really cute and I never quite believe guys when they act platonic...

Both are adorkable and really sweet. It's so hard to find good guys. I'm feeling less dead inside these days, might be ready to open up again. Hope it goes well...

amberlly
06-04-2019, 03:47 AM
DAMN IT ! I want snuggles and company . I'm creeped out by not meeting in public first and vetting everyone very well.

I loose ALL trust if anyone even hints at meeting at their home. It's a faux pass. They should never even hint about it on a first meeting. This other person I was talking to hinted about it. But only after I referenced cuddling. I just said I preferred to meet in public and I think we will later. I must be in a ginger mood. These guys look similar, haha.

I'm the exact same. I can't deal with the idea of going to random peoples homes that I barely know. Let alone eating anything they have cooked...

My favourite line is when they say "You will have to come over and I will cook dinner for you"

Yeah, sorry I'm out.

carmen_b
06-04-2019, 10:36 AM
^ YES. WTF is this ? It's so lazy and weird. You do NOT meet people at home at first, omg.

Ok ..... Chefie apologized and said he botched it. I think I will give him another try tomorrow.

In 60 minutes I'll be in the forest for 24 hours ( I told him via text ) with no signal.
We will see if he can take it from there and not need a million follow up messages to meet.

carmen_b
06-04-2019, 10:44 AM
I had a strange experience yesterday. I hung out with an ex from 2002-2009. My first long time love.
I don't think there is really anywhere to go with it romantically. I think he is " feeling out " potentials due to a recent break up.

We have a good friendship still but the physical side was lacking so I do not see us starting it up again. I'll keep it short and simple here since I don't see it going anywhere. Maybe a friendship ?

carmen_b
06-06-2019, 05:37 PM
Fail on the chef.
He told me Tues. if I remember right that he was off Wed. evening.
He wasn't able to make it happen. ;/
So ..... Sun. and Wed. evening were burned by him ( but I stayed out of trouble too ).
He was the only person I was attracted to I'd chatted with so it's not like I gave up other options.

He was very very apologetic but I told him our schedules are not compatible since I'm only in my home area about 4 days out of the month ( I am specifically looking for evening company ).

carmen_b
06-06-2019, 06:12 PM
I hate that my body is still so drawn to B. He was been in Australia a month now. I never had the self control to clean cut 5-6 days ago ( in my opinion THEN he did deserve it ).

I have this little " text romance " and I have a lot of free time ( I killed it in May for earnings goals ). We have had some extremely hot conversations this week. I like that I can just reach out to him with any pervy thought I have and he just digs it. He was finally honest 4-5 days ago that money is an issue . For me, it really isn't ( due to my workaholic phase last few months ) . I'd personally rather pay for half his ticket somewhere and speed things up v.s. waiting but he hasn't let me / most likely won't . He isn't lazy . He just did a very large trip ( the location we met in ) so hasn't worked in 4 months. He's at that end phase where he's out of cash and needs to work again quickly. I've been there myself. Personally I'd rather get together and figure it all out but I can't really force him to do anything.

It's honestly asking a lot of him to come here ( hard to find under the table work in the USA ) and I've started to realize it's not him just being resistant. It really is a tricky thing.

carmen_b
06-06-2019, 06:34 PM
I wish I didn't have such a liking for giant dudes.
If I was more sexually open to normal sized guys it would be easier for me .
I should really open myself up to the 5'8" - 6'1" range and see if I see some success.

seashell
06-08-2019, 11:22 AM
^Hehe... tall guys are so sexy! I used to only date guys that were a foot taller than me. But now I've gone the other way, guys closer to my height are easier to kiss and all that. :)

I had a good time with the Albanian guy, I'll call him K. He was really sweet, opened the car door for me, paid for everything, and took me on a tour around the city in his car. We drove up a nearby mountain and you could see the entire city below, plus there were fireflies everywhere. It was so beautiful!

He's very easy to talk to, but he's kind of intense. I don't think I'd seriously date him. He'd stress me out too much. But he DID offer to help me whenever I need it, and said he'd install my washing machine for me, so... I can't let him go quite yet! ;D

With him and the Polish guy, there are some cultural differences in saying hello and goodbye. They're European and they keep trying to kiss my cheek to say goodbye, which I should be used to by now, but it always surprises me and then I'm super awkward, lol.

The Polish guy, I'll call him A, wants to hang out next week. So hopefully that will work out. I feel kind of sad that no one is actively trying to get into my pants, like what the hell... there are some really confusing mixed messages taking place. On the one hand, I'm getting a lot of communication, and invitations to go out, from the two of them. Maybe I'm just giving off "frigid bitch" vibes?

MistyGirl
06-08-2019, 11:31 AM
^ I think some guys are just not good at taking the next step - I know one guy who was like that. He really liked me but I always had to try and initiate things, which I'm not very good at.

Btw, has anyone here ever been with a guy who was on the submissive side sexually? How did you deal with that?

carmen_b
06-08-2019, 11:49 AM
Seashell : maybe you are just experiencing the less aggressive than Americans romance vibes.

I remember thinking with B that he was SO SLOW . I googled and it was cultural ( romances start more friendly in Australia usually with much more conversation at the start and often just hanging out as friends a few times ) or at least that is what google says . It explained quite a bit.

carmen_b
06-08-2019, 11:50 AM
Um ..... yes .......

You tell them what to do and they do it. It is pretty great.


has anyone here ever been with a guy who was on the submissive side sexually? How did you deal with that?

carmen_b
06-08-2019, 11:55 AM
Misty : Tell me more .... what is he into ? Male submission can vary so MUCH .
Does he liked being tied / bound ?
Does he like you to initiate ?
Have you by chance had a quick google for " fem - dom " or looked it up on a porn site ? ( you'll find tons of fun ideas )

One thing that I find the most fun about it ( J the kinkster and I had our fun little games earlier this year ) is that guys who are into this really CRAVE this. They might not have much experience with it yet .

Believe me ...... once you get into the " serving " and " worshipping " categories of these games .... you'll never want to go back. ;)

MistyGirl
06-08-2019, 12:00 PM
Hi carmen_b!

It's something that I'm pretty much discovering as I go along as well. He's really into feet in a submissive way. He also wants me to initiate things and the type of dirty talk that he is into also leads me to believe he's quite submissive. Without sounding too crass, he also really likes some butt stuff. He hasn't really come out and said that he considers himself submissive though.

I haven't googled much. I tried speaking with my best friend who hasn't had that type of situation before.

seashell
06-08-2019, 12:34 PM
I dated a couple of sexually submissive guys, but it was brief. I realized that dynamic doesn't work for me. I do like having them as customers, though }:D

On the other hand, they can be really kind and generous. I'm a fan of beta males, in general.

carmen_b
06-08-2019, 01:02 PM
For me too it’s very rare to enjoy a submissive guy.
J and I have a chemistry ( or had ) that was unique.

OH .... and to add.... submissive doesn't mean PASSIVE . That is why I liked J I guess. He has SO MUCH enthusiasm to give. He would also reach out to arrange dates / outings ( ours would always end up back here so we could fool around ).

Misty he probably would be cool with face sitting.
You can also start small with things like holding his hands down ect.
He probably digs pegging ( not my thing ) but it’s kind of the “ end game “ he might be looking for.