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AChildOfBoredom
06-10-2019, 03:33 AM
^ I think some guys are just not good at taking the next step - I know one guy who was like that. He really liked me but I always had to try and initiate things, which I'm not very good at.

Btw, has anyone here ever been with a guy who was on the submissive side sexually? How did you deal with that?

Well, I haven’t, but if I had, I imagine it would be something like this:

https://i.etsystatic.com/11366662/r/il/645eb6/860503584/il_794xN.860503584_2nje.jpg

Not really into that, but I suppose I’d try it once, on the giving end. Not that I’d really know what I was doing, but I could always improv.

Orrrrrrr… you could put him in a pit in the basement and tell him to rub lotion on his skin or else he’ll get the hose again?

Nevermind me. I’m just having a case of the Mondays.

Dating doesn’t feel like an adventure anymore. The last date that was in any way adventurous was for the wrong reason… the double date where I pepper sprayed the guy and told his friend he was going to get shot if he tried entering my car. I don’t know… maybe I need to let go of my Mennonite inhibitions with my manner of dress and I might stop being asked out by these “Beaver Cleaver” sorts.

carmen_b
06-10-2019, 08:39 AM
Misty : I just had a sub customer in the club a couple days ago. Do you dance ? You can practice on your customers hahaha.

queenelayliah
06-10-2019, 08:03 PM
So i downloaded all of the dating apps last monday after what that asshat of a ex told me. Anyway im bisexual and i always wanted to date a girl but im to shy. Plus i have extreme hang ups on my body from everyone in society telling me im ugly and worthless as a fat black woman. Anyway......

Some females have shown interest but they all want to fuck me and im just like ummm can we talk for a while. Then when it comes to men they same ole bullshit but i met this amazing guy so far who respects the fake that i dont respond quickly & dont bother me about it. It got his shit together 6’3 so 3 inches taller than me, west african, full time job, educated, lives alone, NO KIDS, and so far seems okay granted we havent talked much.

miss.a.p1600
06-10-2019, 08:53 PM
Another former coworker - one I never worked with but met at a work conference- asked to take me out on a date.

He is a young dude (oh goodness! What am I getting myself in to?)

And we will see what he comes up with as a first date idea......it better be good

carmen_b
06-11-2019, 08:51 PM
I am worried about B today because I had sent all these pics of this outdoor adventure I'm on. He's usually fast " liking " or " loving " everything I sent via those Iphone reactions.

Nevermind, we chatted like two minutes after I posted this.

carmen_b
06-11-2019, 08:57 PM
I'm happy with my no dudes plan.
I do plan to take their $ in the club once starting again in about a week.
I don't really " count " B .
We keep in touch but he isn't physically here and didn't invite me there. I'm not stupid. I'm reading through the lines here. He obviously enjoys me ( we have killer chemistry ) but something is holding him back.

He knows I love " perfect " weather and also didn't give me a very good run down of where that is in Australia right now ( I googled some of it myself and there is actually an area called the " sunshine coast " ).

miss.a.p1600
06-11-2019, 09:10 PM
So we have a date and time

This better be good if ima shave my legs n whatnot

Not gone lie

Since he’s a young dude I have already put him in the “this is just for fun nothing serious category”

I think he live like 2 hours away-wtf?!? I’m not even gone ask cause I don’t want to feel like I owe him anything for his drive

AChildOfBoredom
06-12-2019, 05:09 AM
30, divorced three times already, and asks me on a date. Yeah, sorry, but I’m just too busy right now (and forever).

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 10:22 AM
I freshened up my online profile to really explain my lifestyle choices ( that I'm only in town 50% of the time and travel for work the other half ) and my intention to go on month long international trips. It's asking quite a lot ( basically someone else with a remote income or the savings to travel a month ) ...... but the internet can do it can't it ?

I know it's asking a lot for a guy to deal with me ( only being here part time ) but I feel like maybe someone else who is busy and heavily motivated in their life might be drawn to what I'm offering.
;)

miss.a.p1600
06-12-2019, 11:49 AM
So much to my satisfaction a dude has taken initiative and set up a date with me - in advance! - unlike most of the tender culture imbeciles

The “problem” is I still have like 3 days till the date so do I text him between now and then?

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 12:20 PM
^ I would wait to see if he texts you and reply if he does. I wouldn't text first until it gets to be the day before and then maybe a quick " see you tomorrow " one . It's so smart of him to go for in person interaction. ;)

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 12:26 PM
I'm talking to someone now via text. ;)
His project is currently getting this trailer set up for some ongoing travel ( and he is headed north ..... in the direction I am ).
He " gets it " and it's refreshing. He also has a pup which I love.
His profile mentioned traveling for two years recently. I don't want to spoil the details of hearing about it via text. I want to chat about that in person. I will see what he does ( as far as asking for an in person meeting ).

I have been my own cock block in the last couple weeks due to feeling " loyal " to B and I have to just move forward. ;/

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 05:20 PM
J is so damn sneaky. He sent me some interesting travel pictures yesterday and info that he'd be back in town tonight. ;/
I never should have told him B was out of the country. He does nothing but tempt me with offers and his obedience.

Did I mention he has the most gorgeous pierced dick ?
I probably did but it's worth another another mention.

miss.a.p1600
06-12-2019, 08:03 PM
Well discovered he got an infant!!!!

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 10:09 PM
^ Oh ;(

Deal breaker ?

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 10:11 PM
I regret having text sex with B.
It started last night and I ended it mid naughty talk ( I wanted to talk about seeing each other soon, not talk dirty ).
Then I got really horny and started it back up this afternoon. Now I honestly regret it. I need to break it off.
I don't know what to think anymore. He doesn't just talk dirty. He sends sweet non-sexual stuff too.

I just hate long distance so much, I am at the end of what I can take. I feel like I am in a situation I didn't agree too. I didn't really agree to just continue like this without a plan to meet.

I got totally insecure tonight and asked if he had been faithful to me and asked him to call . ;/
3 hours or so and no call.

*** I'm sorry B. I wanted to get pounded ..... soon. I don't want to cheat on you. ***
Disclose and separate first. Then hunt for the next prospect.

miss.a.p1600
06-12-2019, 11:14 PM
^ Oh ;(

Deal breaker ?

Possibly.

1. Just got fresh out of relationship
2. Had baby with no marriage aka baby moms lurking and possibly not marriage minded - but then really could I really marry a young ass dude waaaay younger than me

carmen_b
06-12-2019, 11:28 PM
^ I'm a bad person to ask. I love the young ones. ;/
I'm a bit of a perv though and not totally marriage minded myself.

I think I want B gone and that's just where I'll start forming a new plan .....

I'm upset but this is just showing an indication that I was RIGHT 10-11 days ago when I tried to break it off at that point.
He REELED me back in saying he didn't want to separate and that he hadn't been in Oz very long ect. !
He made me think I was being too impatient. Now here we are ........... forced celibacy for 6 weeks instead of 4-5 now. ;/
I brought up that I had done research on the sunny coast ( north east part of australia ) and I'd love to meet him there in a couple weeks yesterday. We of course didn't talk about it because he wouldn't.

This is ending .

miss.a.p1600
06-13-2019, 12:52 AM
I wish I had your mindset about young dudes.

Well he asked to talk on phone

We talked 5 hours!!!!!

Wtf is wrong with me? I should have ended the convo after 20 min.

Now I’m going to be tired af tomorrow and he might cancel the date since we done already talked about everything

carmen_b
06-13-2019, 09:25 AM
^ Eh, just wing it !

Your date is only two days away right ? Just be " busy " with minimal time to text / talk and save things for in person.

miss.a.p1600
06-13-2019, 10:13 AM
You’re right.

He’s coming from 3 hours away but I don’t feel guilty cause he claims he was planning on coming here anyways for a family gathering and he drives a lot for work.

He’s getting a hotel room —— which I will NOT be in lol! Must resist at all cost. Must resist!

carmen_b
06-13-2019, 11:42 AM
Told B the truth ..... that I felt it was best to officially separate.
I offerred an easy plan for my location ( pay half his ticket since he was coming to me, no rent needed as my loft is also a business expense ).
I offered a mid point plan ( renting my city loft out and getting a room for us in Hawaii starting June 20 for a month to start there ).
I offered the Australian coast yesterday . I offered to come over there . With my city apartment rented out I could put 1k towards a monthly place such as an airbnb room and if he MATCHED that we could get a luxury condo there to ourselves a whole month.
Instead of get excited and plan he did nothing.

I think this is a case of " seeing what you wanted to see " and not seeing reality.

How I feel ( angry and upset ) is not going to go away until I stop communicating with him romantically.
Since he disappointed me so much, I do not really see a friendship coming out of it either.

seashell
06-13-2019, 01:25 PM
^Aww, it sounds like you're much better off without him. That's really crappy of him to ask you to be patient. I hate that feeling of knowing that you're in for a risk, and choosing to take it, only to be disappointed. I relate to that SO much.

I went out with A today. We were supposed to go to the beach all day, but then he got called in to work, and all we had time for was to get dinner and drinks. He was pretty stressed out from work, but we had a pretty good time. I'm 99% sure he just wants to be friends, LOL. But... he still paid for everything for me! And invited me to the beach again next week.

K has been texting me every day, as well. I don't know, whatever, I'm still having a great time hanging out with cute sweet nerdy boys who buy me dinner and help me with whatever I need. It's like the cheapest of sugar daddies. :D

Next week I'm going to Serbia, and I'll be seeing N and O, my old Serbian lover boys. In the past, we sort of dated, but O is better as a friend. I still really like N, but... now that we're in different countries... I don't think either of us see it as dating, just friends with benefits. He just texted me, and it was so nice to hear from him. :)

God... I have gotten into way too many of my friends' pants, or I'm interested in getting into them. I'm hopeless. XD

carmen_b
06-13-2019, 08:05 PM
Thanks for saying that. Yes, that's how I feel. I 100% knew I was taking a risk and took it but I still wound up feeling bad / feeling disappointed. It seems like everyone he knows is a duo country couple. ;/ So .... being half of one *seemed* on his radar. Oh well.


^Aww, it sounds like you're much better off without him. That's really crappy of him to ask you to be patient. I hate that feeling of knowing that you're in for a risk, and choosing to take it, only to be disappointed. I relate to that SO much.

carmen_b
06-13-2019, 09:01 PM
New strategy ..... changing the profile online to the little forest town I was in ( I want to attract a " good ole boy " type ).
I'm there often enough it's not a lie. It's about 70 minutes from my main place and believe me, I'd go to the woods a lot more often if there was a country boy who caught my eye.

AChildOfBoredom
06-14-2019, 03:23 AM
New strategy ..... changing the profile online to the little forest town I was in ( I want to attract a " good ole boy " type ).
I'm there often enough it's not a lie. It's about 70 minutes from my main place and believe me, I'd go to the woods a lot more often if there was a country boy who caught my eye.

Careful with that. I lived with a “good ole boy” type, but there’s often a lot beneath the surface which doesn’t really fit into the narrative that portrayed about those of such backgrounds. I’ve noticed it with the ones especially who came from depressed areas of the country… a lot of cynicism, nihilism, and a much bleaker outlook on pretty much everything, even during the good times in life.

Glamourmilf
06-15-2019, 10:40 AM
This older guy (54) who friended me on Facebook, and lives in my town, expressed interest in knowing me.
I explained up front that I'm very busy, and don't have much time to date.
I also tell him that I live with my aunt, who is old and sick, and am her caregiver.
He tells me he understands.
I give him my private number, with the stipulation that I don't do texting conversations, and to feel free to call me.
He says he hates texting too, and will call.
I tell him that I have memorial day off, and can talk then.
What does he do?
He texts me ONCE on my​ private number, the DAY after memorial day. He says he thought I had Tuesday off. Huh?
He then proceeded to barrage me on Facebook messenger EVERY damn day, with "Hi, how are you?"
*Was it the simplicity of the instructions that made him confused?
I'm ignoring him. I just don't have the energy to deal with a dum dum dude, who I am not attracted to.
Besides. Looking at his Facebook page, tells me we have zero in common.
He drinks at old hippie bars. Goes to dart tournaments. River activities, etc.
I'm a city girl.
Can't we just go to a nice restaurant and chill?

carmen_b
06-15-2019, 02:47 PM
You could suggest it along with a good day and see what he does.
Can't we just go to a nice restaurant and chill?

carmen_b
06-15-2019, 02:50 PM
Ill take myself to dinner at a place I haven't tried.
I think with B being gone, I got into a groove of being 100% in control of my time and I'm not sure if I'm ready to give that up. ;/

carmen_b
06-15-2019, 03:21 PM
I wonder if I need to go back to therapy sometimes. Like .... if I'm not "seeing" the full picture because it's me ?
I honestly worry sometimes lately if it's " more " than just a string of bad luck ? I have met probably 12-15 people in the last 8 months since my split ? B is pretty much the only serious interest one. Are these numbers normal ?!?

miss.a.p1600
06-15-2019, 11:37 PM
Ok. So I went out with his ass.

He is a talking ass mf!

Then at the end he tried to entice me to have him come over. Oh my goodness he started kissing on my neck and it was almost over. I can tell he is an excellent pussy eater.

Help me! lol

Took everything I had to resist!

carmen_b
06-16-2019, 08:51 AM
I hope you called him and gave him something to eat in the morning before his drive.haha
:)

miss.a.p1600
06-16-2019, 09:01 AM
I hope you called him and gave him something to eat in the morning before his drive.haha
:)

Thanks for remembering those details and trying to help a sister out.

I’m so selfish! And I did not even think to offer - he’s probably never going to talk to me again :(

But it is Father’s Day so he’s probably not even thinking about me/my faux pas today lol

miss.a.p1600
06-16-2019, 09:11 AM
I hope you called him and gave him something to eat in the morning before his drive.haha
:)


Oh. My. Goodness. I’m slow. Girl you talking about some pussy? Lol!!!!

I wish I was that bold n creative.

I would have but i purposely did not wax because i did not want to give in cause I want to see what he’s trying to invest.

I might next time though cause I can sense this mf would be good with his tongue. And I’m trying to see what that mouth do

miss.a.p1600
06-16-2019, 09:17 AM
I hope you called him and gave him something to eat in the morning before his drive.haha
:)


I thought you were talking about real breakfast lol

I was really tipsy when I wrote that last night.

Reminds me of that Lil Wayne n Jeremih song where he was like “pussy for breakfast, that’s how I start my day!”

miss.a.p1600
06-16-2019, 09:21 AM
And why we both end up matching and wearing the same color on the date? His ass talking about some “it was fate”

Ok I’m going to quit posting in here.......till Monday for my next date :)

carmen_b
06-16-2019, 09:52 AM
Yeah Miss P , I wasn't talking talking about breakfast haha.
It could have been an add on though. Lol.

Glamourmilf
06-16-2019, 11:49 AM
You could suggest it along with a good day and see what he does.

I could do that. Except, if he says yes.....What the heck are we going to talk about at dinner?
None of the same interests. He obviously doesn't listen.
I just know it would be a night filled with me looking for the nearest exit.

miss.a.p1600
06-16-2019, 08:16 PM
^Nice!

Also you never know you could end up enjoying what a shorter dude has to offer

I know I said I’d quit posting but I have a possible date with the old dude this upcoming weekend.

Damn! It will be a very busy 7 days for me

miss.a.p1600
06-18-2019, 06:33 AM
Might be going out with him this upcoming week.

He did ask me to meet up tonight but I had to decline cause I’m in the middle of coloring my grey hair lol. I told him I had to work which i guess he will assume I’m on a date with another dude. Oh well! Should have never asked last min.

Well he never mentioned a place nor time and when Sunday/Monday rolled around he never said anything so I assumed he made other plans.

We had agreed to Monday happy hour. He dm me Monday at 7 and I was like “damn I thought you forgot with a sad face emoji” ........ he has not responded since

Oh well I can only do so much

seashell
06-20-2019, 03:56 PM
I honestly really love short guys! They seem to be more caring and generous because, well, society. Can't complain! ;D

I didn't get to go on my trip, because I couldn't find anyone to watch my dog. My pet hotel plans fell through. Sigh... but N texted me today, the first day I was supposed to be in his city. He said he was bummed that I couldn't make it, and that he had intended to prioritize spending time with me, over his other plans. He's been getting a lot sweeter with me, as time has gone by. Really hoping I can make it within the next couple of weeks. I don't know, should I tell him I like him? I told him in December that I didn't want anything serious, but now that I'm more settled, I feel like I do.

carmen_b
06-21-2019, 01:26 PM
^ Yes, I would tell him your thoughts have shifted. Why not ?

We hit it off over drinks. The 5'9'' adventurer guy. ;)

JessaJade
06-21-2019, 02:19 PM
^I have a height near-fetish too but have had some really good sex with a couple of shorter guys which opened my mind a bit. They're all the same lying down *nudge wink*

carmen_b
06-21-2019, 03:08 PM
Yes. I'm excited to open my mind here and try something new.
We ended up making out in the car after the drink location, going to buy beer, and going to my place.
I wasn't going to bring him here as it was SO not date ready ( I had just been traveling ) but eh ......
Got treated to a slow and delicious make out session ... then a slow and delicious hand job.
I returned the favor . Without being too crass .... he is not lacking in a certain area where it counts.

carmen_b
06-23-2019, 12:08 AM
Met a chef for a drink.
It was so “ meh “.
Prob one of my worst dates in last 5-6 months haha.
Mostly related to smell ( smoker and b.o.)!
Meanwhile I’m scrubbed and full makeup basically club ready lol.
Meh. I tried. I made an exception but can’t do smoking smell.
What a waste of an evening. Oh well.
He's good looking and we had a lot in common too ( love of food / growing food / travel behind us ).

carmen_b
06-23-2019, 10:22 AM
Sunday ...... I have a date today . We have been talking for a week starting before my last trip out of town.

I lined em ' up just due to having a short window in town of 5-7 days. I leave soon for a strip trip and plan to be gone 3 days.
It *seems* somewhat promising ( he declined meeting me when I only had a couple hours free 5 days ago because he indicated wanting to plan something better ).

I might start disclosing the stripper thing on the 2nd or 3rd date. This way, they won't feel " duped " if they can't handle it ( minimal time invested ). If I do, it puts me at some risk ( discretion is really important to me ). I haven't decided quite yet but I was thinking about it and maybe waiting at least a few weeks ( my usual ) is too much.

^ Update : OMG. Total comfort right away. Dinner in my hood. Great convo. He smoothly led us back to my place wanting to show me a YouTube travel video lol. I am keeping some deets to myself on this one. Fooled around but no sex. It took all my power to wait for what will be the 2nd date or 3rd ( I know I most likely can't wait beyond that ). We " get it " with each others goals / lives. He traveled for two years via trailer around the country . We both admitted it felt like we have known each other a very long time.

I already feel like this could be the next boyfriend but I want to make sure I have my head in reality. I also had to back ground check him ( I got his last name last night ) .

queenelayliah
06-24-2019, 05:02 PM
So I downloaded all of the dating apps last Monday after what that asshat of an ex told me. Anyway, I'm bisexual and I always wanted to date a girl but is to shy. Plus I have extreme hang-ups on my body from everyone in society telling me I'm ugly and worthless as a fat black woman. Anyway......

Some females have shown interest but they all want to fuck me and I'm just like Ummm can we talk for a while. Then when it comes to men they same ole bullshit but I met this amazing guy so far who respects the fact that I don't respond quickly & doesnt bother me about it. It got his shit together 6’3 so 3 inches taller than me, west African, full-time job, educated, lives alone, NO KIDS, and so far seems okay granted we havent talked much.



So its been 14 days of me talking to him and a girl i really like., its not a couple just seperate people. He will not get on skype or meet up with me. She wont talk on the phine, facetime or meet up either. At this point im starting to think both are fake and that im was foolish to think someone could like me.

Ooooh also im still messing around with the ex that cheated on me when we was together., i finally told him what i do aka being a PSO and you know what that bastard said you will never get a boyfriend if you keep working this job. That hurt because i kind of thought we was moving towards that again., we definitely more than just friends or fwb. I thought we was somewhere in the middle between fwb & relationship. Obviously i was wrong., epic fail. How did my life become so messy.

carmen_b
06-24-2019, 05:10 PM
^ Leave that ex alone.
From your other posts ( I say this in a positive way ) .... he just seems to be bad news unless I missed something ?

Those other two .... if they can't meet you in a reasonable time ( 7-9 days after a first intro online ) I would cut them from your prospect list too. Maybe give them one more try such as offering a drink meet up this week Wed - Fri. ?

carmen_b
06-24-2019, 10:31 PM
I am trying to keep my head on straight about the Sunday guy ( there truly was a good connection )..... BUT .... there was a little sexual pushiness.
I am not denying the connection and comfort level ( it was felt on my side too ) but I am hoping that bit of pushiness is toned down.
I found myself thinking today " ok wait, am I sure I want sex with him on date #2 or do I just FEEL like there is an expectation ? ".
I just have never had sex fast . B was my experiment with it ( date #2 after knowing each other only a week ).

It also seemed a little weird to me he couldn't seem to get off with a hand job.

I would like to see him again but I also had to verbalize that I have sexual violence / coercion in my past so to check in with me and make sure consent is CLEAR .

charlie61
06-25-2019, 04:52 PM
^Your gut is telling you something. Don't give in to the subtle pressure! Ick.