Panthera
10-26-2022, 05:09 PM
I can't believe I'm just now finding this thread, but it came at the right time.
Recently I deleted all social media apps off my phone, especially TWITTER. Comparing myself to others is not something I ever do usually, but with my depression in high gear, sleeping on the couch since Thursday night, and not working, I began to feel myself getting angry and envious of the curated lives I was seeing in my feed.
Here I am, a beautiful go getter with written down plans, content ideas abound, and I have all of 9 videos published on my clip sites and nothing else to show for it. I separated from my Husband in November of last year and began camming again to care for myself on my own. It's nearly a year later and I'm NOWHERE NEAR where I thought I'd be. Laziness and depression is a BITCH, now I'm feeling like a complete loser. This isn't me.
I've begun therapy and started new meds a few days ago, but I'm still struggling to get off the couch. Barely showering (if at all) and eating cereal for the past few mornings is just...not me. This isn't who I am.
I'm supposed to be this no nonsense boss DOMME, and here I am, not even confident enough to get on cam. I'm just not feeling it...
Okay. Rant over. Now I gotta find ways to get out of this slump. Rent is due on Tuesday and I'm sitting here fucking off...I hate this.
I don't know if you are into astrology or not, but yesterday there was a scorpio Sun Eclipse and a New Moon. That is enough to bring depression from the bottom of hell back to anyone who ever has been having issues with it. Plus lack of vital energy due to the New Moon. The influence starts a week or more before the eclipse time, and lasts for week or 10 days after. So, you are right when saying this isn't yourself. You will see that your energy will be back soon.
Recently I deleted all social media apps off my phone, especially TWITTER. Comparing myself to others is not something I ever do usually, but with my depression in high gear, sleeping on the couch since Thursday night, and not working, I began to feel myself getting angry and envious of the curated lives I was seeing in my feed.
Here I am, a beautiful go getter with written down plans, content ideas abound, and I have all of 9 videos published on my clip sites and nothing else to show for it. I separated from my Husband in November of last year and began camming again to care for myself on my own. It's nearly a year later and I'm NOWHERE NEAR where I thought I'd be. Laziness and depression is a BITCH, now I'm feeling like a complete loser. This isn't me.
I've begun therapy and started new meds a few days ago, but I'm still struggling to get off the couch. Barely showering (if at all) and eating cereal for the past few mornings is just...not me. This isn't who I am.
I'm supposed to be this no nonsense boss DOMME, and here I am, not even confident enough to get on cam. I'm just not feeling it...
Okay. Rant over. Now I gotta find ways to get out of this slump. Rent is due on Tuesday and I'm sitting here fucking off...I hate this.
I don't know if you are into astrology or not, but yesterday there was a scorpio Sun Eclipse and a New Moon. That is enough to bring depression from the bottom of hell back to anyone who ever has been having issues with it. Plus lack of vital energy due to the New Moon. The influence starts a week or more before the eclipse time, and lasts for week or 10 days after. So, you are right when saying this isn't yourself. You will see that your energy will be back soon.