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carmen_b
09-08-2020, 04:17 PM
^ Great attitude.

I feel like everyone is going a little crazy again.

My partner who I was with from about 23-29 ( I'll date myself here but we broke up 10 years ago ) has been texting and calling . We are still friends. Our main issue was that he wouldn't travel ( I took off to Hawaii with no intention of coming back as a finality to things ). I did invite him but he remained planted in his home town ( basically my life fear as it is my home town too ).

Anyway ...... he is talking about moving to Costa Rica . He is sending things like " lets go " . I think he honestly regrets a bit not living a more adventurous life with me. We were a good emotional match but the sexual chemistry was lacking somewhat ( admittedly though I was messed up from a conservative upbringing at that time ).

Jucie
09-09-2020, 11:58 PM
After an abrupt dive as the pandemic hit us, things are finally starting to look brighter. Started in this new job this week and a couple of modeling appointments coming up in the near future. Even though I felt a little fed up with dancing, I now feel like I’m ready for doing some private parties again.

SnuffleUffleGrass
09-10-2020, 07:16 AM
A kind of lighthearted thing to share about this Covid year-

we went to a "backyard concert" (really small gathering of non-Covid exposed people) of 2 guys who are normally part of a 4 man touring band. It was just acoustic guitar and 2 saxaphones. It reminded me of how bad it is this year for people who count on public gathering events for money.

We bought CDs and were as pleasant as possible. It was nice, I think a small benefit of Covid will be musicians getting extra time at home to work on music. Expect excellent music 2-4 years down the road from now.

carmen_b
09-10-2020, 08:17 AM
^ J and I miss concerts a lot.

We definitely can’t wait and plan to support some local smaller scale things in the meantime.

I’m glad to see live music coming back at a smaller scale. Many restaurants and golf clubs near us have it now.

kortneykay
09-10-2020, 09:12 AM
I'm doing okay. Working towards a goal for a temp move. I'm a little nervous about traveling on a plane with covid due to me being in a country with such low numbers but I can't get to the UK any other way. I'll most likely self-quarantine a bit when I arrive at least 2 weeks just to be sure I'm used to the new eco system. I had the worst cold of my life one time in London so I'm not ruling anything out. I was given throat spray and a few tablets. I'd never had a painful sore throat like that one.

SnuffleUffleGrass
09-10-2020, 07:35 PM
I'm doing okay. Working towards a goal for a temp move. I'm a little nervous about traveling on a plane with covid due to me being in a country with such low numbers but I can't get to the UK any other way. I'll most likely self-quarantine a bit when I arrive at least 2 weeks just to be sure I'm used to the new eco system. I had the worst cold of my life one time in London so I'm not ruling anything out. I was given throat spray and a few tablets. I'd never had a painful sore throat like that one.

Could it have been from grime in the city, or just a standard cold? I was getting a bit snifflly a few days ago but my body kicked it.

moneybags
09-18-2020, 12:14 PM
^^^ yay!

So the nursing program is for spring is full and I might get waitlisted. I’m thinking of moving and getting a job at a hospital out of state. I can NOT stay here for another year unless I’m in school. I will die. The only reason I’m here is because it’s financially smart. If I don’t have school or a job then I gotta go. If I got into the fall program I could take a semester off and pay off debt while I wait. I hate living with uncertainty. I’ll plan for the worst of being waitlisted for a year and hope for the best of getting accepted fall 2021. I’ll try to not worry until the end of the semester. If I sign my lease short term I can always extend it if I get into the fall program. That’s probably the best decision I can make with the limited info I have at this time.

I just want life to happen the way I want. Is that to much to ask...LOL.

moneybags
11-16-2020, 07:31 PM
^^^I feel this. It’s so hard to study. We never opened up campus, so I’ve been home. But it’s so hard to study! Especially since this is the worst it’s been since March right now. I have my last lab this week and I’m so grateful not to be on campus. We have less than a month. After than I’ll be camming full time to save up money.

AChildOfBoredom
11-18-2020, 01:16 PM
Because we’ve had issues with people in the shop coming down with it, we all had to get mandatory COVID testing done today. So, if I come back positive, then it’s a matter of finding the shitgibbon who gave it to me and destroying them.

WendiStarr
11-20-2020, 01:03 PM
My state shut everything down again. I was supposed to start a part time, 3 days a week afternoon shift serving job at a restaurant within walking distance but they're shut down before I even started. Employees and a manager tested positive for Covid-19 so they're closed for now. I might as well just stay put here and keep applying to remote csr jobs.

chanzep
11-21-2020, 02:18 PM
Yes it's very common in restaurants. You better off staying at home.

wish
11-21-2020, 05:05 PM
You know how when you're learning to ride a bike and the person teaching you lets go. That feeling when you realize and you scream for them to put their hands back on the bike and they tell you they're not going to because you're riding on your own. I've had that feeling every second of my adult life. Adulting I guess.

GlamLifter
11-22-2020, 09:34 AM
I’m lucky, I have my work at the clinic and except for a lot of extra precautions due to Corona, it’s more or less business as usual.
I find myself working out more at home rather than going to the gym nowadays.

lurkingtitties
11-22-2020, 02:08 PM
So I started working at this nursing home that hadn’t had any Covid cases all year...which translates to a lot of the staff being lax about masks/PPE and patients all out in the halls mingling with each other all day, mostly with no masks. So of course with cases on the rise everywhere, it got into the nursing home and spread like wildfire. It’s my third week and the first positive cases were announced Tuesday. By Saturday there were a ton more positives and at least one fatality. Upper management is not being transparent about how many patients are positive now. It’s a wild time to be starting my first real job.

Sometimes I feel all the feelings come up about how sad I feel for the residents, many of whom are too fragile and demented to understand why they’re now confined to their rooms and etc. Or the ones I haven’t seen since Tuesday because they tested positive and probably won’t make it. I have to just push it down and keep going for now though; this isn’t going to be over anytime soon.

I am looking forward to being one of the first people to get the new vaccine though!

ava$
11-22-2020, 03:08 PM
^^are u really gonna get vaxed on the 1st round? i am pregnant and even my dr told me to wait n c what haapens like if its safe then get it.. im thinking about not getting it at all, how long have they possibly been researching this thing, 8ish months? where as polio and mmr and all that stuff has been around for a super long time, im good with those

lurkingtitties
11-22-2020, 07:37 PM
^^are u really gonna get vaxed on the 1st round? i am pregnant and even my dr told me to wait n c what haapens like if its safe then get it.. im thinking about not getting it at all, how long have they possibly been researching this thing, 8ish months? where as polio and mmr and all that stuff has been around for a super long time, im good with those

Hell yeah I am. I had so much exposure to infected patients last week and early this week before we knew who was positive. With N95 and a face shield but still. It will give me peace of mind. And, it helps us to not spread it between patients or out in the community.

ava$
11-22-2020, 08:18 PM
^^it does do that and it’s better for all of us if a lot of people get it but I personally am not confident enough to get it right away I however am not caring for vulnerable people atm

lurkingtitties
11-22-2020, 08:19 PM
That makes sense since you’re pregnant.

xxxGothBarbie
11-24-2020, 09:10 PM
Im doing alot better overall. Started taking multivitamins cooking more when at bfs place& working my ass off (which luckily has very much paid off ;)

Started drinking homemade ginger lemon honey tea more which ups my immune system & helps with digestion more. Im feeling good just bored moreless but im healthy and so thankful for that.
Oh and im getting more curbside pickup whenever possible to avoid folks.

SnuffleUffleGrass
11-30-2020, 02:18 PM
One of my customers at work had Covid 19 and according to her it was the least bad event of the year (her husband also died...probably not from Covid though.) Man the virus is everywhere, I'm in the rural Midwest and I am still shocked at how many people have gotten it here.

chanzep
11-30-2020, 03:57 PM
I am very up and down. I'm staring to think the virus is here to stay . I hope it can be controlled. Half the NFL has it and they are young, fit and healthy. People are clubbing on Instagram like it's nothing. Im fed of of working from home in toxic call centers. This time last year I was doing events and retail fragrance vendor. Boring but easy. Better than call center. But I can't now due to COVID. I'm thinking to retain in something that can be done remotely .

carmen_b
11-30-2020, 05:41 PM
^ I'm feeling weird too. Like we are all just living in a twilight zone waiting.

I was playing " what's your number ? " with J yesterday talking about how much cash we would throw down to just get the vaccine now.

Overall doing ok. Business wise things are up ( I can at least pay all bills in next 30 days ) .
I do struggle though because I feel so " blah " . I wish I would have enjoyed last Feb. more ( my last month of normal income ) ! Oh well . ;/

LoveyDovey
12-01-2020, 06:31 AM
I'm holding up okay. Some days are better than others. To manage my stress, I go running in the woods on the trails near my house. I'm grateful to have a grocery delivery job where I shop for the customer and then deliver their goodies. I don't mind doing it, but the risk of catching covid makes me nervous. The good news is though is that I have a flexible schedule, so I try to go into the stores early in the morning and later in the evening and avoid the afternoon rush. I'm missing my son. As long as he and I stay healthy and safe that's all I really am concerned about. I also wish the Congress would send money so I can stay home and finish writing my book. I will feel a lot calmer once Congress sends money. I can stay at home and not have to go out and work in the Covid jungle. Does anybody have any suggestions as far as stay-at-home work options go? I don't wanet to cam or do onlyfans or anything like that, something working a lot.

carmen_b
12-04-2020, 04:16 PM
I feel " meh " today.

I still have that feeling like we are all just waiting to die. Hahaha. Logically I know this is all temporary but I was driving on the road today having these fears of " what if something goes wrong with mass vaccination ? " .

carmen_b
12-04-2020, 04:17 PM
Does anyone else feel cheated that the U.K. is starting the vaccination process NEXT week ? Like ..... in 3-4 days from what I read ?

I think the U.S. is lagging and it's pissing me off. We have a slow economy from not getting our shit together on this!

miss.a.p1600
12-04-2020, 04:52 PM
^not surprising considering how long people stayed (still in) denial here in US

lurkingtitties
12-04-2020, 06:43 PM
Does anyone else feel cheated that the U.K. is starting the vaccination process NEXT week ? Like ..... in 3-4 days from what I read ?

I think the U.S. is lagging and it's pissing me off. We have a slow economy from not getting our shit together on this!


YES. I have been annoyed about this all week! Our country sucks.

carmen_b
12-04-2020, 06:47 PM
^ My partner seems to think they have actually *distributed* them in major cities and are just waiting for the Dec. 10th approval here in the USA .
He reads up so much on this stuff. I sure hope he is right.

moneybags
12-04-2020, 07:12 PM
^^^yeah I heard they are shipping some out now, but probably for healthcare workers. I imagine they are in the hospital freezers. It’s like Christmas when you have to wait till the 25th to open your present. Merry Christmas...you get a vaccine...lol. I’ll get the vaccine ASAP.

I’m wrapping up with school, but I’m having a hard time concentrating. I don’t know why all of sudden...I think it’s depression. I need to work, but I’m overwhelmed. I have finals than my teas exam. Then I’ll be camming full time.

I’m almost there. I just have to cross the finish line. I’m literally so emotionally exhausted I don’t know how I do it.

carmen_b
12-04-2020, 07:15 PM
^ I feel depressed too. In my day job industry and my main earner it has been really affected ( things still slow ) . I keep telling myself this year wasn't a total failure ( I had huge plans to stack like 15k in savings which didn't happen). I barely floated above water. No extra savings haha. I seem to have made it though somehow through the year and that is some success. It just doesn't feel like it.

Financially I'm in the same spot I was in Jan. 2020 and it makes me sad.

indiegirl
12-04-2020, 07:24 PM
^^^yeah I heard they are shipping some out now, but probably for healthcare workers. I imagine they are in the hospital freezers. It’s like Christmas when you have to wait till the 25th to open your present. Merry Christmas...you get a vaccine...lol. I’ll get the vaccine ASAP.

I’m wrapping up with school, but I’m having a hard time concentrating. I don’t know why all of sudden...I think it’s depression. I need to work, but I’m overwhelmed. I have finals than my teas exam. Then I’ll be camming full time.

I’m almost there. I just have to cross the finish line. I’m literally so emotionally exhausted I don’t know how I do it.

Totally know the feeling of not wanting to study. I reached a point where I just wanted to get the class over with, felt like a burden, and lost my enthusiasm. Waiting for them to reopen clinicals so I can finish school.

carmen_b
12-07-2020, 01:40 PM
I made $1500 from day job in the last week.
This used to be a reg. thing and I want to be positive about it . :)

I do feel so bummed.
I don't know if I'll make ANY money the rest of the month so I guess I'll just spend this little bit I have veeerrrryyyyy slowly haha.
Nothing is booked on the caldendar and granted ..... it's only the 7th and I can still FIGHT and run deals and fight fight fight for $ but I am so tired.

I'm not being pessimistic just being honest about how things feel.

I HOPE to at least make 3k ish for the month but I guess we will just see how it goes.

moneybags
12-07-2020, 03:14 PM
I made $1500 from day job in the last week. This used to be a reg. thing and I want to be positive about it . :)

I do feel so bummed.
I don't know if I'll make ANY money the rest of the month so I guess I'll just spend this little bit I have veeerrrryyyyy slowly haha.
Nothing is booked on the caldendar and granted ..... it's only the 7th and I can still FIGHT and run deals and fight fight fight for $ but I am so tired.

I'm not being pessimistic just being honest about how things feel.

I HOPE to at least make 3k ish for the month but I guess we will just see how it goes.

I 100% understand. I don’t think I’ve really grieved my losses. Its been a really hard year. Yes, I understand that I’m “lucky” compared to some other people, but that’s doesn’t make me feel any better.

My share: I have full blown depression! Omg. I’ve just been pushing through it because I had too...LOL. I’m taking a break after finals. Maybe a glass of wine, bubble bath, and a feel good movie. I was being so harsh with myself for “being lazy”.

I have support group this evening thank god. Btw-open to all cam models. All you have to do is register with pineapple. I’m super excited that this group is going. I’m hoping we can talk about thought work. It’s so important to challenge those negative thoughts. Hopefully we can talk about coping with depression too.

Trust the struggle

carmen_b
12-07-2020, 03:23 PM
^ I feel so depressed too ! Often!

I think I should just admit it.

Self care DOES help. It makes a difference !

^ I hope you find a good routine for yours. I do SO much ( low does wellbutrin , gym, yoga, massage ) . It isn't easy to make time for deep self care sometimes but it takes the edge off ( I know because when I'm slack with it I decline ). The group idea sounds GOOD !

One thing that I do wrong it make therapy appointments and cancel them. I have had one and cancelled two. :(
I need to be better about it.

carmen_b
12-07-2020, 03:39 PM
^ I think what contributes to depression lately is this sense that you just work work work without reward.
Like ..... we have all had phases of hard work but there is usually a light at the end ( a trip or a splurge to look forward to ).

carmen_b
12-07-2020, 03:42 PM
I'm so curious ( those willing to admit ) ..... if you are in an area that allows things like restaurant visits do you still go ? I go very rarely but still do go and my partner doesn't venture out at all . This has been a really hard thing for me because I treasure dinner dates with my partner . He will order us nice food but it's not the same.

I don't want to ask him for anything he isn't comfy with but I am exploring some things ( like 2p.m. lunches or 3:30 dinner options where no one is there almost and outdoor patios ). I am desperate to bring these dates back. We always say we will get food and go up to a viewpoint and then don't do it.

moneybags
12-07-2020, 05:00 PM
@Carmen. That’s exactly what it is! I don’t get to see my harvest until like 5 years later-nursing school/saving money. It does pay off. That’s why it’s important to have frugal treats.

I don’t go out to eat often, but there’s a cute coffee LOCAL coffee shop I go to. It’s super low key. In the fall I would eat outside, but when it’s cold I just find a spot away from everyone else. I think there’s like one or two other people in there. I wouldn’t go to a busy restaurant chain.

I’ve been working since the pandemic at home and and school. Your right it hasn’t let up. It’s just one bat shit crazy thing after another. I’ve tried with bubble baths and wine, but money is what really motivates me to work. With school I just can’t work as much as I need to. So it’s been very challenging to use empowering language to suit up and show up.

The support group is free and it’s drop in, so that’s an option. I don’t particularly like being in therapy. I’ve done it for years and I just don’t like it. I only go when I have to. I’ve done so much recovery work and I’m just burn out on it. I still go when I need extra support.

carmen_b
12-07-2020, 05:04 PM
I hear that. I have struggled for 6 months to get real estate school done. It's almost like I can't make the actual *connection* in my mind to just get this damn certificate so I can go fight for these commissions . I am always giving the time to other things ( answering phone for day job where I might make money THAT day ) . I need the cert. to even begin the damn fight .

^ I did try to call therapist again but it's a 10 day wait to see him. Whatever. I put myself down and I'll try hard not to flake on this appt.

moneybags
12-07-2020, 06:08 PM
^^^i feel that. By the time I’m ready to talk to a therapist I’m past my breaking point.

It’s a juggling act trying to keep all the balls in their air. I’m just proud of myself for staying alive and staying in school to be honest. Things could be a lot worse for me personally. I don’t think any of us will make it on the other side of COVID-19 without a few scars.

Looking forward to the day we can laugh about this.

wish
12-07-2020, 06:54 PM
I've been thinking/ daydreaming a lot recently. And I've upset myself. There's a lot of countries that require a covid vaccination before entry. Im conflicted because I just don't trust it. The flu vaccine has been around how long and it's only 40% effective every year yet they have a prevention for covid that hasn't been around a full year yet? Miss me with that logic! I want to see how others do on it and I'll get mines next flu season. Just thinking out loud.

laurielegs
12-07-2020, 08:40 PM
I've been thinking/ daydreaming a lot recently. And I've upset myself. There's a lot of countries that require a covid vaccination before entry. Im conflicted because I just don't trust it. The flu vaccine has been around how long and it's only 40% effective every year yet they have a prevention for covid that hasn't been around a full year yet? Miss me with that logic! I want to see how others do on it and I'll get mines next flu season. Just thinking out loud.

I was really concerned also so I spent a couple days reading everything I could find about exactly how they tested this vaccine and how they could get it done so quickly. What I found is that it's been tested exactly the same way as all other vacccines were in the past but they ran all the clinical trials at the same time. What they usually would do is run one trial with a small group, then another trial with a larger group and different age groups and then another and so on. This time it was all at once.

I got my flu shot for this year (first time in 10 years I've done that but I damn sure don't want to go anywhere near a hospital the way things are now). Had some muscle aches and lost a few hours of sleep the first night until I got up and took some ibuprofen but was okay after that.

I'm getting the Covid vaccine as soon as I can because I'm around a couple of high risk folks sometimes and it would break my heart if I carried it home to them somehow.

xxxGothBarbie
12-07-2020, 08:51 PM
I'm beyond sick of this pandemic. Right now I'm back at bf's place until right after xmas due to the travel ban on out of state visitors not being able to stay in hotels here right now. I'm miserable here right now & can barely work whick really pisses me off. I'm so tempted just to leave as soon as my package in the mail in a few days. I def need some fuckin alone time.

indiegirl
12-08-2020, 03:15 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49qHv5rvSRU

Really love what this lady had to say. Kinda a long video on how small businesses are being treated differently from big businesses during covid. It really sucks hearing how badly people's lives have been changed due to the pandemic.

LoveyDovey
12-08-2020, 07:35 AM
I'm holding up ok. Been doing my grocery delivery gig and I'm going to LA on Thurs to work on a film, which I'm excited about. I've adjusted my grocery gig hours to mornings and evenings when it's less crowded so it's safer. Wish Congress would put together a damn package already and send us some checks so I don't risk my life every time I go out to work. This is freaking ridiculous already. Other than that, I manage stress by running in the woods for an hour on the trails.

chanzep
12-08-2020, 01:48 PM
I'm up and down. I went to a restaurant in my birthday at the beginning of November and will probably go again soon. I hate how the Christmas vibe is different this year . I love the holidays but this year is different. I hate being so limited with work options I feel.like some companies are taking advantage because of it. I'm trying to stay positive but it can be hard.

WendiStarr
12-09-2020, 08:40 AM
I'm supposed to be starting a new remote customer service job next month. I have a Christmas tree up but it doesn't feel like the Christmas season. I'm trying to be optimistic.

indiegirl
12-09-2020, 09:34 AM
I'm supposed to be starting a new remote customer service job next month. I have a Christmas tree up but it doesn't feel like the Christmas season. I'm trying to be optimistic.

Sometimes Xmas music helps to play at your place :).Or the scent of your place after you baked cookies or a holiday type of food.

WendiStarr
12-09-2020, 01:12 PM
^ If I'm being honest here, I've been baking a lot of cookies lately. I'm trying to hold off on baking anymore because I have little self-control with desserts. It's my one vice since I have my kids here 24/7. I'm at the skinniest I've been in my non-pregnant, post kids life. I'm trying to stay that way, lol. I definitely plan on baking more cookies on Christmas Eve. :)

SnuffleUffleGrass
12-09-2020, 02:29 PM
^ If I'm being honest here, I've been baking a lot of cookies lately. I'm trying to hold off on baking anymore because I have little self-control with desserts. It's my one vice since I have my kids here 24/7. I'm at the skinniest I've been in my non-pregnant, post kids life. I'm trying to stay that way, lol. I definitely plan on baking more cookies on Christmas Eve. :)

What kind of cookies? This reminded me I need to do that...I think the local bakeries charge too much for holiday cookies.

I can't believe my boyfriend is skeptical about the Covid 19 vaccine. FFS!!!!!!! Like people we knew dropping dead from Covid is not enough to convince him of the vaccine's value. Geeeeeeez

lurkingtitties
12-09-2020, 04:45 PM
It’s annoying the shit out of me how many people are skeptical of the vaccine!

But I guess it’s a moot point since we only have enough doses for 50 million ppl for the foreseeable future.

America sucks balls yo