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Raziel
11-10-2020, 04:30 PM
Matter of fact, since I behave myself I tend to get REALLY good Dances. I've had really cool Girls. And I was happy with them.

AChildOfBoredom
11-10-2020, 04:53 PM
Back to the original question, no, this has never happened for me. I don’t recall at any point ever feeling even the slightest bit aroused in the club.

Which isn’t to say it did nothing for me, just not in the context you’re thinking. If I managed to earn one of those little gift bags, and even being the one they wanted a dance, on-stage spanking, whatever, among the number of other dancers available, there is a bit of an ego boost in that.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 05:32 PM
Back to the original question, no, this has never happened for me. I don’t recall at any point ever feeling even the slightest bit aroused in the club.

Which isn’t to say it did nothing for me, just not in the context you’re thinking. If I managed to earn one of those little gift bags, and even being the one they wanted a dance, on-stage spanking, whatever, among the number of other dancers available, there is a bit of an ego boost in that.

Yeah, but according to you, you're never aroused. You don't even like fucking. Unless there's suddenly a change...

lurkingtitties
11-10-2020, 06:12 PM
You sound like this guy:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM8mvmu9Rkw

rickdugan
11-10-2020, 06:34 PM
Mellow dude you're all over the map here.

But from what I could gather, you pay a girl for her company, but you expect some type of monogamy. Good luck with that. I think you're suffering from a massive case of self delusion if you think that you can set her boundaries for her just because you provide her with a bit of income. ;)

If you want a shot at monogamy, get a true SO or pay your SB enough for her to forego other sources so that she doesn't have to dance and post on SB sites. But of course since you don't want an SO and can't truly afford a monogamous p4p girl (if there really is such a thing), you're just going to have to learn to live with the realities of your choices.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 06:35 PM
I am as I am. Can't be anything else.

AChildOfBoredom
11-10-2020, 07:02 PM
Yeah, but according to you, you're never aroused. You don't even like fucking. Unless there's suddenly a change...

According to me, you’re misinterpreting what I said. I didn’t say I never get aroused, just not at the behest of others, and it’s much easier to turn me off than to turn me on. The smooth operators Sade sang about hit a bit of turbulence when they cross my path. As for the what I like and don’t like, those that try to fuck me typically can’t even hold my interest long enough for the conversation to go anywhere near there. Of course I’m not going to be interested in fucking them.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 07:17 PM
Child, you are the coolest Girl in the world. And I mean that.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 08:45 PM
BTW, I'm not Misrepresenting anything, maybe Misinterpreting but not Misrepresenting. Misrepresenting is an active choice, and a bad one too. Maybe I just misunderstood you. But I did not Misrepresent you, not intentionally, anyway.

AChildOfBoredom
11-10-2020, 08:48 PM
You’re misrepresenting the Aesir. You should be welcoming Ragnarok, not trying to keep Surtr asleep.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 08:55 PM
The Aesir will live without me. And Ragnarok and Fafnir can stay as far away as they can.

(I know Norse myth just like you do)

AChildOfBoredom
11-10-2020, 09:10 PM
But what better way to cap off a year like 2020? It's elegantly simple... great war ensues, Surtr steps to the plate, world burns. Compare that to seven seals, seven trumpets, seven bowls, then you have seven brides, seven vials, seven rings, etc, etc. I don't like math even on a good day. Plus this bullshit:


And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

Still pushing the he/him narrative. It's 2020... hasn't anyone bothered to tell them that equal opportunity employment is a thing? I mean, I can ride a horse too, you know.

Raziel
11-10-2020, 09:33 PM
I can NOT ride a Horse. I had one Girl wanted to go Horseback Riding. I thought "How hard can it be." Boy was I uneducated. She goes riding by and my Horse decides to start running. I'm like WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE REIGNS. I couldn't find them. I knew they were hanging off her jaw, but i couldn't find them, i was fucking terrified. I'm clinging to this fucking Horses mane. Scared shitless. Eventually she stopped. I walked her back to Ace Stables. She was pretty sweet on the way back, but I wasn't getting up on her, no fucking way. We just walked back and I was talking to her. Haven't touched one since. I was in High School then.

I was in HOLY FUCK SWEET JESUS I'M GOING TO DIE mode.

Bahuba
11-10-2020, 09:52 PM
How many strippers orgasm from lap dances? Oh, that's easy. 0.00000%

;D;D;D;D

miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 05:44 AM
I’m confused

OP is allegedly a sugar daddy but his sugar baby still has to work the strip clubs?!?!

Soooo, she’s probably working strip clubs because you’re not compensating her enough when you have the ability to do so and instead of telling you this she took a job where other men would be paying her and maybe even she’s making you a bit jealous so you’ll want to step in and save the damsel in distress.

miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 06:02 AM
Sex vs money?

Money first.

Some people can use sex to get ahead in life but for me I’d rather leverage money

And as far as getting aroused or whatnot working as an exotic dancer (more specifically whilst doing lap dances) I’d estimate it happens 1-2% of the time.

mellowmutt
11-11-2020, 06:58 AM
Yeah, but that's your GIRLFRIEND, man! If she's on YOU, she's probably going to get off if she likes you. I doubt she's gonna get off rubbing on some Trucker.

Except she did do that to any ol' trucker. She gave lap dances for the orgasms, both ways.

Raziel
11-11-2020, 07:06 AM
Yeah, sorry, I think your being sold a line. No offense.

mellowmutt
11-11-2020, 07:29 AM
But from what I could gather, you pay a girl for her company, but you expect some type of monogamy.

No, I don't "expect" monogamy, most sugar arrangements aren't. We made that decision together, after discussing how many partners we'd both had the previous year (around 20 each), and both being lucky to be STD-free.


Good luck with that. I think you're suffering from a massive case of self delusion if you think that you can set her boundaries for her just because you provide her with a bit of income. ;)

She's in charge of her body and her boundaries.


If you want a shot at monogamy, get a true SO or pay your SB enough for her to forego other sources so that she doesn't have to dance and post on SB sites.

All arrangements are different. Before covid, she was working two other jobs, lost all 3, we couldn't meet because we live hundreds of miles apart and there was a lockdown, but she still got her allowance those 3 months. She wants to be independent, not kept, and doesn't want to date at this point in her life. I've been mentoring her on starting an online business. Through all that, we've only fucked each other.


But of course since you don't want an SO and can't truly afford a monogamous p4p girl (if there really is such a thing), you're just going to have to learn to live with the realities of your choices.

You're making some rather large assumptions about sugaring. We get together 2-3 nights every 3 weeks. Her allowance just doubled to get her out of the club due to the pandemic, and who knows when all the clubs get shut down again. What I truly can't afford is to buy her away from that life, it provides her a six-figure income (but not this year). She has to want to stop, and that's what she tells me. Basically, I'm now funding her startup business.

mellowmutt
11-11-2020, 07:46 AM
OP is allegedly a sugar daddy but his sugar baby still has to work the strip clubs?!?!

Our arrangement was always meant to be supplemental income for her. Not sure why you think it's an either/or for a dancer to have a SD, or that all SBs want it to be their full-time job?


Soooo, she’s probably working strip clubs because you’re not compensating her enough when you have the ability to do so and instead of telling you this she took a job where other men would be paying her and maybe even she’s making you a bit jealous so you’ll want to step in and save the damsel in distress.

She asked for an allowance commensurate with the time she was willing to commit to the arrangement, and we've had an amazing, long-term, long-distance relationship out of it (anticipation and buildup is a key to tantric sex). I can't comment on the rest of that statement, as I've never had a crystal ball that tells me what a gal's thinking, lol

Raziel
11-11-2020, 08:38 AM
Look, she can do what she wants, but (and there's always a but) I think you're getting taken for a ride. How do you know she's telling you the Truth?

Strippers don't ORGASM from a lapdance. I've never ORGASMED from a lapdance. Get the fuck outta here, that's the stupidest thing I've ever read.

Yeah, you're positive. HOW ARE YOU POSITIVE? What evidence do you have? Her word? I can tell you I'm a Superhero. Doesn't make it true.

rickdugan
11-11-2020, 09:15 AM
She's in charge of her body and her boundaries.

Then why are we even having this ridiculous conversation? What in the world possessed you to lead into a thread asking if a girl could get off from a lapdance, especially if you were just going to argue when some folks said no? Are you on medication?

As far as the rest, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth (as the old expression goes). On one hand you keep saying that her boundaries and choices are completely her own, but OTOH you keep implying that you expect monogamy and seem to keep trying to figure out if you are getting it. So which is it?

Of course this whole damned conversation is mind numbingly stupid to begin with. You cannot expect monogamy from a girl who hooked up with you solely because you were paying her, especially when she needs more than you can afford. All you accomplish by putting that pressure on her is to force her to lie to you. IMHO you'd be better off not having those ridiculous conversations with her in the first place if you cannot afford to cover what she would otherwise lose. It would be different if you were an SO rather than a temporary pit stop in her life, but the reality is what it is.

miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 10:24 AM
Our arrangement was always meant to be supplemental income for her. Not sure why you think it's an either/or for a dancer to have a SD, or that all SBs want it to be their full-time job?



She asked for an allowance commensurate with the time she was willing to commit to the arrangement, and we've had an amazing, long-term, long-distance relationship out of it (anticipation and buildup is a key to tantric sex). I can't comment on the rest of that statement, as I've never had a crystal ball that tells me what a gal's thinking, lol


makes sense.

Still my perspective is when it comes to the majority vote ...(the people paying her the most)....their wants outweigh yours - a bit.

Like if she were to acquiesce and do her job according to your standards (no mens hands touching) she may lose a chunk of her main income source esp. if this were a high contact club (as a lot of men raised in this Tinder culture aren't as respectful of adult entertainers and push for as much contact as the rules allow or more so enforcing this boundary means turning most men down for dances).

I you want her to make that sacrifice then you need to be willing to make a sacrifice and compensate her more for that kind of commitment that could negatively affect her earnings

Commitments aren't just about time

They involve boundaries, etc as well

Raziel
11-11-2020, 05:58 PM
Hey Rick, that one wasn't bad. I got Stupid and clicked View post again, like the idiot I am. But you ruled on that one, I gotta say.

Raziel
11-11-2020, 08:43 PM
It's a business transaction for some people. The woman wants stability and the man wants a young/hot woman by his side. I don't have the time to be a sugar baby. Heard one woman say that her sugar daddy decided not to pay her this month. Lol I don't have time for free services. Not worth it.

Still stupid. I'd much rather have a real Girlfriend or Wife.

natsaa33
11-11-2020, 10:45 PM
It never happened with me, I never get wet or orgasm from lappies, yes I am happy but it's all because I am making $$ by doing this..!

Raziel
11-12-2020, 12:07 AM
It never happened with me, I never get wet or orgasm from lappies, yes I am happy but it's all because I am making $$ by doing this..!

Yeah, no shit. A Dancer doesn't get off on giving a Lapdance. It's like rubbing on the arm of a couch, most of the time. Every great once in a while they meet a guy they like, but most of the time not. They might LIKE you, but that's it.

jack0177057
11-12-2020, 04:58 PM
So what do I make of my dancer gf who won't limit herself to customer-hands-off lappies because she gets "excited" when they touch her, even though we're monogamous?

The whole problem is wanting to be monogamous with this type of girl. She sounds like a sex-freak wild girl (nothing wrong with that) and you could have crazy fun with a girl like this, if you suspend belief in monogamy.

I assume she is hot. If she is bi, you have some great opportunities for FFM threesomes. Ask her to invite other dancers home with her. If she is straight, then, take her to swing clubs and you can trade her for dozens of other hot girls that just want no-strings swinging sex. What's not to like about that?

So, your gf sounds like a great partner for threesomes and swinging, but, if you are set on monogamy, she'll probably betray you and break your heart.

Raziel
11-12-2020, 08:03 PM
Jack, I'm not believing him. I don't know if you can read me or not, but I fully agree with you. This dude is talking out of his ass.

Raziel
11-12-2020, 08:35 PM
This guy, he's so Squirrely, No wonder he's a Sugar Daddy. He has nothing else but MONEY. He's WAY off. He'll probably die alone. His Sugar Baby won't stay with him.

I mean, look you try to talk to him and he gives you nonsense!

mellowmutt
11-14-2020, 04:50 AM
Look, she can do what she wants, but (and there's always a but) I think you're getting taken for a ride. How do you know she's telling you the Truth?

About being monogamous? Well, she's tight and I'm thick. I keep telling her to insert her vibrator instead of just using it on her clit. The result, is tearing and blood when we have sex, which wasn't the case when we started our relationship. You think she's faking that somehow? I think it proves she's been true to me about only allowing my cock inside her.


Strippers don't ORGASM from a lapdance. I've never ORGASMED from a lapdance. Get the fuck outta here, that's the stupidest thing I've ever read.

Despite how rudely you put it, thanks. I think it was a legit question, because I did not know the answer. So I appreciate being disabused of that notion, but without asking, how's a guy to know?

mellowmutt
11-14-2020, 05:07 AM
Then why are we even having this ridiculous conversation? What in the world possessed you to lead into a thread asking if a girl could get off from a lapdance, especially if you were just going to argue when some folks said no? Are you on medication?

You think it's the Viagra messing with my brain? Didn't know that was a side-effect, lol. I haven't argued against anything here other than ridiculous and outdated assumptions about my lifestyle. My legit question, do strippers get off giving lapdances, was satisfactorily answered and not argued against by me. I did bring up the case of my ex-pornstar SB who was into sex work for the orgasms. I'm glad to know she's the exception to the rule! So stop denigrating me for asking a question outright that most folks who aren't strippers either wonder about, or draw their own (inaccurate) conclusions.


As far as the rest, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth (as the old expression goes). On one hand you keep saying that her boundaries and choices are completely her own, but OTOH you keep implying that you expect monogamy and seem to keep trying to figure out if you are getting it. So which is it?

I never asked or tried to force monogamy on her, we had a mutual discussion and arrived at that decision. If you'd been paying attention to my posts instead of looking for reasons to attack me, you might have noticed that the issue is my gal and I have different definitions of monogamy, that's what I'm trying to work out, and this thread has been very helpful in that regard -- if only we could delete all the off-topic crap about how being a sugar daddy means owning a gal outright vs. she keeps performing in the club. More crazy misconceptions about sugaring right here in this thread, than exist for stripping anywhere, didn't expect that.


Of course this whole damned conversation is mind numbingly stupid to begin with. You cannot expect monogamy from a girl who hooked up with you solely because you were paying her, especially when she needs more than you can afford.

Ugh. You don't know that I can't afford $100K a year, you're just assuming I can't because you're assuming that's what any stripper looking for a SD expects, and you couldn't be more wrong, but thanks for reinforcing all the bullshit stigma attached to the lifestyle so you can feel comfortable being right about something you know nothing about. You're also being a dick, I think, for assuming that no stripper can be trusted to engage (of her own free will, no less) in any form of monogamous relationship, which was my original question you think is stupid because you have some deep-seated issues about gender roles, strippers, sugaring, etc.


All you accomplish by putting that pressure on her is to force her to lie to you.

What pressure are you referring to? Hell, she's the one who suggested being monogamous in the first place, why can't anyone here get it through their head that women are all different, regardless of occupation? You have this stereotype in your head that any stripper engaging in a monogamous relationship must have been pressured into it and is lying. Well, you're wrong.


IMHO you'd be better off not having those ridiculous conversations with her in the first place if you cannot afford to cover what she would otherwise lose. It would be different if you were an SO rather than a temporary pit stop in her life, but the reality is what it is.

More misogynistic bullshit which denies that women, particularly strippers, have any agency over their bodies or lifestyle decisions. Hope you at least tip well at the clubs.

mellowmutt
11-14-2020, 05:19 AM
I assume she is hot.

Damn straight she is. Model, and photographer, for a top outfit. You've probably seen her in ads, without it occurring to you she's also a dancer and SB, lol.


If she is bi, you have some great opportunities for FFM threesomes.

Would be cool. But I know when I'm with a bi gal, they're checking out the gals I'm checking out, she only checks out guys, so totally hetero.


Ask her to invite other dancers home with her. If she is straight, then, take her to swing clubs and you can trade her for dozens of other hot girls that just want no-strings swinging sex. What's not to like about that?

Like every other dancer I've dated, and the pornstars, being surrounded by her hottie friends all the time is definitely a perk. However, if I even suggested a swinger-club date to her, she'd slap me then ghost. You have some serious issues, dude. For many of us, the question is "what is to like about that" and the answer is "nothing".


if you are set on monogamy, she'll probably betray you and break your heart.

She's set on monogamy as much as I am. My original question is whether full-contact lappies constitute a form of betrayal, and again, I thank the gals here who've answered that I'm getting all worried about nothing. Also, while I love her, I'm not in love with her. If she leaves me tomorrow, I'd be a bit bummed, but not broken-hearted. Making me exactly the drama-free guy (except this one issue I asked about) that EVERY GAL DREAMS OF. Hell, we take turns cooking for each other and it's understood that whoever doesn't cook, cleans. She will make someone an awesome wife one day, and I'll have to accept that, let her go, and appreciate everything we had for going on a year now with no end in sight. I think some of you rude guys here are jealous losers who hang out at strip clubs.

mellowmutt
11-14-2020, 05:25 AM
This guy, he's so Squirrely, No wonder he's a Sugar Daddy. He has nothing else but MONEY. He's WAY off. He'll probably die alone. His Sugar Baby won't stay with him.

Another stupid assumption revealing you to be a deeply unhappy person. I don't need to sugar to have a gf. I've just decided it's unfair of me to try having a regular gf, for very good reasons I explained, so I sugar daddy. What's my other option? Only getting off on lap dances and masturbation? I feel sorry for you.


I mean, look you try to talk to him and he gives you nonsense!

You're obviously not a well-adjusted person, if you feel the need to denigrate and shame me, THEN ridicule me for standing up for my right to live my life as I choose, because you can't wrap your head around the fact that my stripper SB and I have a healthy sex life you can only dream of -- or you wouldn't be a loser who hangs out in strip clubs and trolls stripperweb.

Raziel
11-14-2020, 10:28 AM
Look, I'm not shaming you, but the things you post don't make any sense. I got slapped down in the other thread, so I guess I was out of line. If I shamed you, I apologize. But C'mon, make sense!

Raziel
11-15-2020, 06:22 PM
Oh, and buy the way, I am a well adjusted person. Just somewhat impulsive. I'm restraining myself, here. Just try to make sense. I am pretty emotional though, most writers are. It's what gives us our juice to be able to pump out product. Female Writers are the same. They get in knock down drag outs with their Husbands or Wives, you just never hear about them. I'd imagine Gay Writers are probably the same. Ruled by emotion.

You have to have Emotion to create a good story. To DO it, you have to FEEL it.

mellowmutt
11-16-2020, 01:31 PM
OK, truce. Maybe as a writer, though, look for the sense in what I'm saying? The criticism seems to come from misunderstanding my lifestyle. This thread may as well be closed, I got the answer I was seeking in my OP.

rickdugan
11-17-2020, 08:16 AM
You think it's the Viagra messing with my brain? Didn't know that was a side-effect, lol. I haven't argued against anything here other than ridiculous and outdated assumptions about my lifestyle. My legit question, do strippers get off giving lapdances, was satisfactorily answered and not argued against by me. I did bring up the case of my ex-pornstar SB who was into sex work for the orgasms. I'm glad to know she's the exception to the rule! So stop denigrating me for asking a question outright that most folks who aren't strippers either wonder about, or draw their own (inaccurate) conclusions.

I never asked or tried to force monogamy on her, we had a mutual discussion and arrived at that decision. If you'd been paying attention to my posts instead of looking for reasons to attack me, you might have noticed that the issue is my gal and I have different definitions of monogamy, that's what I'm trying to work out, and this thread has been very helpful in that regard -- if only we could delete all the off-topic crap about how being a sugar daddy means owning a gal outright vs. she keeps performing in the club. More crazy misconceptions about sugaring right here in this thread, than exist for stripping anywhere, didn't expect that.

Ugh. You don't know that I can't afford $100K a year, you're just assuming I can't because you're assuming that's what any stripper looking for a SD expects, and you couldn't be more wrong, but thanks for reinforcing all the bullshit stigma attached to the lifestyle so you can feel comfortable being right about something you know nothing about. You're also being a dick, I think, for assuming that no stripper can be trusted to engage (of her own free will, no less) in any form of monogamous relationship, which was my original question you think is stupid because you have some deep-seated issues about gender roles, strippers, sugaring, etc.

What pressure are you referring to? Hell, she's the one who suggested being monogamous in the first place, why can't anyone here get it through their head that women are all different, regardless of occupation? You have this stereotype in your head that any stripper engaging in a monogamous relationship must have been pressured into it and is lying. Well, you're wrong.

More misogynistic bullshit which denies that women, particularly strippers, have any agency over their bodies or lifestyle decisions. Hope you at least tip well at the clubs.

Dude, you do realize that you're paying her for her affection, right? You're talking about her like she's your SO, not your part-time SB. You're not the only guy paying her for her time and, at some point, you have to expect that another guy will offer her too much money to easily turn down. Can a guy find some sort of monogamy with a stripper SO? I'm sure he can. But a guy who pays for it and expects it to be exclusive sounds like a goofball.

I don't care what you and she supposedly talked about. She doesn't owe a part-time SD monogamy and I'm guessing that she only ostensibly agreed to it because she was feeling some pressure from you.

Also, my comments regarding what you could afford came from your own admission that you can't completely replace her income. And bullshit on the who LD thing. You debated it precisely because you had a preconceived notion and were looking for confirmation. No doubt you intended to hold that over her head as well.

IMHO you really need to readjust your thinking about what your position is in her life, lol.

Selina M
11-17-2020, 05:43 PM
About being monogamous? Well, she's tight and I'm thick. I keep telling her to insert her vibrator instead of just using it on her clit. The result, is tearing and blood when we have sex, which wasn't the case when we started our relationship. You think she's faking that somehow? I think it proves she's been true to me about only allowing my cock inside her.


Uh, I am only coming into this trainwreck of a thread to say that that is absolutely not normal or good, especially being a new development. It's a literal medical condition called vaginismus. If it develops later after having a normal sex life, it's got a cause of some sort behind it, and it's often psychological.

I'd suspect that on some level she does not want to have sex with you anymore and her lady parts are tightening up in response. If you are continuing to make her have sex with you despite tearing and blood, that's fucked up and you are only prolonging the condition.

Also, I agree that you are delusional if you think she's not sleeping with anyone else. This is a business transaction to her.

Raziel
11-17-2020, 06:29 PM
Well, I pissed this guy off, and I didn't really mean to do that. Somebody else can fight with him. I'm done. Not worried about it, I'm FAR too impulsive for this.

But Selina M, I agree with you.

Raziel
11-18-2020, 07:26 PM
I've gone to Escorts before, and I'm not ashamed of it. I need women. It's the reason I come to Stripperweb. Not to find a date or anything, or fuck anybody, I just come because this is a female dominated website where they don't ban me immediately. I've been without a Girlfriend for quite a while. I could probably be a Sugar Daddy, but I'm not interested. I'd rather have a real Girlfriend and possibly a Wife. This is just me. Nothing against anyone else. I just think that a Sugar Baby is not a real relationship, she's may have multiple Sugar Daddies, and a Boyfriend on the side. When you wanna fuck her she just grits her teeth and does it, because she doesn't want to lose her income. That's it.

A real Girlfriend or Wife WANTS to be with you. Seems much better. When you kiss her she kisses you back, when you hold her, she holds you back. When you make love to her, she does it back. When you talk to her she not only talks back she shares her true mind. Maybe I'm just an idealist. But I'd rather have a real one. As I said before, I am ruled by emotion.

mellowmutt and I declared a truce, and it's one I intend to honor. But I still think he's wrong, and that he's cheating himself.

And that's not violating any truce.

Edit to add, one last thing: Nonfiction writers are different, they write about things they have either seen or researched. I'm not one of those. I write about things that no-one's ever seen, I try to take you to other places. If you like it, fine. If you don't, I hope there's something you do like. It's all the same to me, I worry about the readers I DO have, not the ones I don't. Not everyone is into Science Fiction. I wish everyone was into Science Fiction, but if you hold a Wish in one hand and a pile of shit in the other, what do you got? A pile of shit.

jack0177057
11-19-2020, 11:43 AM
I have not read all the posts, but, glancing at a few of them, it seems like this thread has taken many twists and turns.

Sex can be many things and you have to find the right partner for whatever it is you are seeking. If you are looking for a sex partner that loves and appreciate YOU, money can't buy that. It has to be earned. You cannot throw money at a girl (or guy) and expect that to blossom into love. A woman that really loves you, will love you if you are rich or poor. Tell your wife or GF that you have made some bad investments, have lost all your money and you have to sell everything you have and start over. Then, wait to see if she is still by your side tomorrow.

But, 'love' is hard work and overrated. If you are only looking for a hot young babe to rock your world, that can be bought! It is a service just like any other service. Who cares that your escort is only sleeping with you for money.... Your doctor is only concerned about your health because you pay him/her, your masseuse is only massaging your back because you paid him/her, the chef is only cooking your food because you are paying for it, the police officer or fireman that saved your life only did it because he/she gets paid for it, the attorney that stands by your side during a personal/legal crisis and fights for your cause only does it for money, the therapist that listens to you is only doing it because you pay him/her..... There is no shame in paying someone for sex or any other service as long as you do not delude yourself into thinking they do it out of love.

mellowmutt
11-21-2020, 02:45 PM
I'd suspect that on some level she does not want to have sex with you anymore and her lady parts are tightening up in response. If you are continuing to make her have sex with you despite tearing and blood, that's fucked up and you are only prolonging the condition.

Make her have sex with me? No. As I'm unaware of that in the moment, if she'd wanted it to stop she only needed to give our safe word ("cramp", fwiw, lol), not keep going and tell me after? She's already got her allowance, and she did once get her period early on a getaway so she knows she can tell me "no" without ending things between us. No she wasn't lying, we took a bloodbath together lol... kinky af and a new experience for both of us.

While I may tell her I'm horny, she's in charge of her body and does all the initiating between us -- I only join her in the shower when invited, and that only leads to shower sex when she bends over and tells me to take her. We're an "allowance" couple, not a "PPM" couple. PPM = escorting = no kissing = only about the sex.


Also, I agree that you are delusional if you think she's not sleeping with anyone else. This is a business transaction to her.

Yes, it's a business transaction, no doubt -- if the $ stops so does the sex. But why do you think a gal who's selling her body, can't possibly be interested in selling her monogamy? Now that we've worked through our issues (thanks in no small part to some of the replies I've gotten here) and we've read through this thread together, she found your comment offensive for assuming that because she's a stripper and a SB she must be some sort of nymphomaniacal slut.

Which was basically my concern in my OP, no? Don't worry, she'll forgive you too, she's a real sweetie. ;) Believe it or not, monogamous allowance sugar relationships do happen, even with dancers. Granted it isn't the norm.

She'll leave me as soon as she meets a guy near her age she wants to marry and have babies with. So call me delusional if you will, I respect your opinion, but I believe she'd tell me it's over between us instead of continuing to fuck me for $ and cheat on both guys. Do you think she's delusional for believing I'm not cheating on her, seeing as how it's a business transaction for me, too? You're entitled to that opinion as well, even though you'd be wrong. We're both satisfied with our sex life, and comfortable with the boundaries it's taken us a year to fully establish.

mellowmutt
11-21-2020, 02:55 PM
If you are looking for a sex partner that loves and appreciate YOU, money can't buy that.

True enough, but money also doesn't preclude that from happening organically. We make each other happy at this time in our lives, so we're going with that. We talk about each others' futures all the time, but we never talk about any future "together" if that makes sense.


You cannot throw money at a girl (or guy) and expect that to blossom into love.

No doubt. But I don't expect that, even in a traditional relationship, which is why I sugar.

Honestly, if I were to profess my (hypothetical) undying love and devotion to this gal and ask her to marry me, she'd be gone in a flash and find another SD in about a minute.

Anyway, this thread's been a godsend to our relationship -- it is what it is, and we both find it healthy, so who cares what anyone else thinks? Not us. Again, thanks for setting me straight that dancers aren't in it for sexual release, to the point I feel foolish for ever thinking that of her.

mellowmutt
11-21-2020, 03:02 PM
I don't care what you and she supposedly talked about. She doesn't owe a part-time SD monogamy and I'm guessing that she only ostensibly agreed to it because she was feeling some pressure from you.

Whatevs. No way around your preconceived notions.


Also, my comments regarding what you could afford came from your own admission that you can't completely replace her income. And bullshit on the who LD thing. You debated it precisely because you had a preconceived notion and were looking for confirmation. No doubt you intended to hold that over her head as well.

Won't, not can't (apologies if that wasn't clear), I'm not a Donald looking for a Melania to own and control. And I asked the question I asked out of genuine curiosity, am happy that it wasn't confirmed, and am not some sort of control freak just because I SD. Excuuuuse me for reaching out for some feedback on a most unusual relationship circumstance to the point everyone calls it BS, lol. Monogamy is almost new to me sugaring, and completely new to me concerning dancers, "real life" or sugar bowl.

I'm having a happy, healthy sex life with a dancer I'm sugaring, who feels the same. I understand this makes the unhappy people uncomfortable naysayers, nothing I can do about that.

naomi_doll
11-21-2020, 05:10 PM
Well, if you were able to talk to her about it and come to a conclusion that makes you both happy, that’s all that really matters.

Raziel
11-21-2020, 09:12 PM
But why do you think a gal who's selling her body, can't possibly be interested in selling her monogamy?

Look, man, no offense, here, but (and there's always a but), SHE'S SELLING HERSELF. You're never gonna get Monogamy from her! How many Sugar Daddies do you think she's got? I mean you stated that your not paying all her bills! How the fuck do you think she's getting her bills paid? She's gonna go look elsewhere. It's nature. She needs her bills paid! You want Monogamy, pay up (and you still probably won't get it. You want Monogamy, get a wife. You want pussy deal with the Sugar Baby. But she'll be dealing with other dudes, trust me on that one)

All this said with respect.

mellowmutt
11-23-2020, 12:25 PM
Look, man, no offense, here, but (and there's always a but), SHE'S SELLING HERSELF. You're never gonna get Monogamy from her! How many Sugar Daddies do you think she's got?

Just me or she wouldn't have deleted her profile, or I would've found her new profile. If you have no experience sugaring, then you don't know that sometimes monogamy is important to the SB; all arrangements are different, as are all SBs, so try to avoid generalizing. Busy gal doesn't want to juggle multiple guys, and you have no idea how rough the sugar bowl can be, so lay off the insulting stigmas please.


I mean you stated that your not paying all her bills! How the fuck do you think she's getting her bills paid?

Her two other jobs and her new drop-ship business. If I paid all her bills, which she doesn't want btw, I might kill her ambition on those things. Rent and tuition, I pay. Plus a bit more now that she's lost her income from the club.


But she'll be dealing with other dudes, trust me on that one)

I don't, because you don't know what you're talking about, especially when you start judging strangers based on stereotypes of a lifestyle you have no experience leading. I've had multiple SBs over the past several years, some are scammers, others are quite genuine. If I can't know until I've met one, how can you possibly know? lol

Raziel
11-23-2020, 06:47 PM
I wasn't insulting you. I was just a little taken aback.

You can do what you want. It's your life. But I don't really buy it. But if this is what makes you happy, then knock yourself out.

miss.a.p1600
11-23-2020, 06:58 PM
I've gone to Escorts before, and I'm not ashamed of it. I need women. It's the reason I come to Stripperweb. Not to find a date or anything, or fuck anybody, I just come because this is a female dominated website where they don't ban me immediately. I've been without a Girlfriend for quite a while. I could probably be a Sugar Daddy, but I'm not interested. I'd rather have a real Girlfriend and possibly a Wife. This is just me. Nothing against anyone else. I just think that a Sugar Baby is not a real relationship, she's may have multiple Sugar Daddies, and a Boyfriend on the side. When you wanna fuck her she just grits her teeth and does it, because she doesn't want to lose her income. That's it.

A real Girlfriend or Wife WANTS to be with you. Seems much better. When you kiss her she kisses you back, when you hold her, she holds you back. When you make love to her, she does it back. When you talk to her she not only talks back she shares her true mind. Maybe I'm just an idealist. But I'd rather have a real one. As I said before, I am ruled by emotion.

mellowmutt and I declared a truce, and it's one I intend to honor. But I still think he's wrong, and that he's cheating himself.

And that's not violating any truce.

Edit to add, one last thing: Nonfiction writers are different, they write about things they have either seen or researched. I'm not one of those. I write about things that no-one's ever seen, I try to take you to other places. If you like it, fine. If you don't, I hope there's something you do like. It's all the same to me, I worry about the readers I DO have, not the ones I don't. Not everyone is into Science Fiction. I wish everyone was into Science Fiction, but if you hold a Wish in one hand and a pile of shit in the other, what do you got? A pile of shit.

I’m sure there are wives out there that don’t want to fuck their husbands but do it so they don’t lose their status quo.

Wives aren’t busting it open after a grueling 9-5 or laboring housework cause they’re just hot n ready. They’re getting something out of the deal as well. Nice home in the cul de sac, private tuition for the kids, the married image to erase the hoeness, protection, and much more.

Some marriages aren’t “real” but moreso business/joining of wealth like in the olden days

IMO ...... ALL relationships are transactional .... some are more blatant while other are more indirect