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carmen_b
08-29-2021, 11:05 AM
^ I’d zero in on what is making you feel like that.
Like if you want 3-4 days a week ( eves ) with him and he is doing two ask why.
His answers could give you info.

It seems like you hoped to live with him so you might need to have a convo about that.

I think it’s a great plan to leave if he won’t step up since I think I remember it’s been a bit of time together already!

Marina Starr
08-29-2021, 03:53 PM
Oprah basically saying men ain't shit while effortless mentoring hoes. Whether you are a 9-5-Corporate America hoe or escort or selling lap dances, tits and ass hoe or virtually selling pussy hoe, her advice is SOLID. This gospel needs to be made into literatures, different languages to teach and mandate everywhere. It would save a lot of pain and heartache.

Thank you, Oprah!

https://i.ibb.co/DG365M2/e27d432678c3dfb1ea78264f571c532f.jpg (https://ibb.co/mvQY6yW)

carmen_b
08-29-2021, 08:59 PM
^ Some great advice there !

moneybags
08-30-2021, 12:45 AM
Regulars! OH my god! They are so needy. I know what my ex felt like when he was juggling several woman. Oh my god! Honestly I would probably talk to them if they weren’t so needy and trying to get free dirty talk and pics.

I’m going to work in a fucking pandemic, and I’m not happy about it. You want to do this emotional labor on top of trying to cope with the current crisis. Fuck you dude!

That’s like if I paid to see my therapist one time and then got mad because she didn’t text me back or talk to me for free. Like I can text her to ask if she get me in ASAP, but I don’t expect free therapy. That’s what these guys want is free therapy. Like if they were being genuine that would be one thing, but they are just trying to get OTC action.

LoveyD
08-30-2021, 06:05 AM
^^ I don't miss a lot of my regulars.I had a few who were cool. But they always want more more more more more aggghhh

Aurora_Sunset
08-30-2021, 07:10 AM
My friend who was going through the nasty divorce... isn't anymore. Like, 2 weeks after all this shit went down, she texted me that there was possible reconciliation "because I'm an idiot." Straight up said that she knows she's an idiot for even considering it, and then another 2 weeks later, and he's apparently back living in the house that she fought so hard to get to herself.

I never even responded and haven't spoke to her since, because I honestly don't know what to say. Last time I talked to her, it was 2 hours straight on how he stealthed/raped her, resulting in their first child which derailed her education and career plans for the rest of her life; he's punched her in the face before; hit their kids so hard with his ring hand that it left bruises on the backs of their heads (and would constantly threaten them with "the ring hand" when she wasn't home); the kids were terrified of being alone with him; when they complain about the abuse, he'll corner these YOUNG children and FORCE them to say, "It was discipline and I deserved it" (how fucking sick is that?); she had called the hospital to ask for documentation related to him not treating their diabetic kid's glucose high so she could hold it up as incompetence and negligence when he has them to himself; he allowed her sick cat to die by not feeding it for several days while they were at the DV shelter; he stomped one of her pet chickens to death; ... and then lied about ALL of this - to the cops, his lawyer, the courts, the judge, all friends, family, and coworkers....Stole pictures of the kids off her facebook from events SHE had taken them to and he was never a part of, and tried to pass them off as pictures he'd taken, pretending to the judge like he's some great dad.

But, sure, I guess I'm supposed to believe that after a couple weeks, he totally admitted to all of this wrong-doing to the point where they were able to "work through it."

I think what really happened is the same thing that she always says happens when she has considered leaving him in the past. She doesn't have the finances to take care of herself and the kids, he's a manipulative, asshat attorney who knows exactly how to lie to the court system and fuck her over, and she gets scared that he'll take her kids and make her life miserable.

It's a perfectly valid fear. I get it. But how much am I supposed to go along with this Facebook charade where she just starts posting a bunch of pictures of "family fun times" and acting like this all didn't totally go down a month ago?

carmen_b
08-30-2021, 09:07 AM
^ I hope she will come to her senses and get away !

AChildOfBoredom
08-30-2021, 11:40 AM
^ I hope she will come to her senses and get away !

Sooner rather than later. Maybe I’m overreacting from the true crime stories I’ve read, but reading about this and also hearing these things from people I know… in those articles I read, the story ends one of two ways, and it’s especially worrisome the bit about him being a lawyer and having this idea in his head that he has the courts in a position where they’ll bend to his whim (which of course he does, because lawyers - abusive or not - just have a nature about them of being arrogant that way).

I guess I kinda understand where she’s coming from, and I’ve seen it before. Hope dies last, and people desperately cling to the notion of, “it can’t all be for nothing”. I’m going through it now, but for a much different reason.

I don’t try giving advice with these things. I don’t know what advice to give, and worry that any I give may end up causing things to flare up to that point.

Aurora_Sunset
08-30-2021, 12:57 PM
I don’t try giving advice with these things. I don’t know what advice to give, and worry that any I give may end up causing things to flare up to that point.

Exactly this. She's gonna make her own decisions, for her own reasons, regardless of anything else I might say on the matter. And then I'm just the asshole friend who is trying to ruin her marriage or something. I've already started to make peace with the fact that until/unless she actually leaves him, I'll probably never see her again. She had me submit an affidavit when she was trying to get a restraining order, talking about what I know about his abusive BS from the past. Immediately after the hearing, he blocked me on facebook. I can't imagine I'd ever be welcomed back for a visit now. ::)

Not the first time I've gone through this unfortunately. Been the friend that hears alllll the shit that some abusive ass has been doing, get asked to help them get away, and then they go back and I'm first on the list to get cut because 1) now the guy says I'm a "bad influence" and 2) embarrassment at them going back after telling me all that shit and knowing I don't approve.

I can't make people's decisions for them. They're grown adults that already have one controlling dick in their life - I won't be another one. But it's also hard to just pretend like I don't care or approve of the situation after I know what I know. So the only real option is to kinda drift away and hope they leave eventually so we can go back to being friends.

carmen_b
08-30-2021, 01:04 PM
^ Sometimes abuse victims do come to their senses.

There are some good FB ( hidden ) support groups for Narc. abuse survivors.
She can join and they won’t show in her “ groups “ list.

moneybags
08-30-2021, 03:26 PM
Auroa

You are a good friend. I really can’t be friends with people who are in toxic relationships. Because the truth matters to me and unfortunately most people are pretenders. (Which is why I’m a loner.) Now ‘nd days, I’m pulling back my energy. I don’t have the time and energy to help people who don’t want my help. It’s their loss. I’m still sad though. I care too much. It’s their own journey. My Job is to leave any person, place, or situation that no longer serves me (easier said than done.)

I’m in the camp of if she wants to be with a toxic man then I can’t be friends with her. Because you end up getting dragged in and they end up choosing their toxic man over their friend. I tried to help a girl I use to work with see she was with an abuser. Guess what happened he started attacking me and he worked at the club. He lied about extras going on at work to get her to quit, and I told her he was just trying to get her to quit the club because he’s a jealous asshat and wants to control her. Then he hated me and caused drama between me and her because i knew exactly what he was doing! I love her, but she’ll just have to learn the hard way because I don’t need that drama.

Honestly you can’t rescue people, or you keep having to do it over and over again. I’m a recovering enabler, so I know all about trying to help people that are acting out the victim role. Saying “help me!” Then when you help them they don’t want help. It’s unconscious but some people don’t know how to not be a victim. I’m not saying a woman wants to be a bad relationship, but sometimes that’s all they know is toxic and probably because of their upbringing it feels like love, and there’s not much you can do other than get off the sinking ship.

LoveyD
08-30-2021, 03:32 PM
For anyone here who is a narcissistic abuse survivor check out Dr. Ramani on Youtube. She's amazing.

whirlerz
08-30-2021, 03:34 PM
Auroa

You are a good friend. I really can’t be friends with people who are in toxic relationships. Because the truth matters to me and unfortunately most people are pretenders. (Which is why I’m a loner.) Anyways, especially Now n days, I’m pulling back my energy. I don’t have the time and energy to help people who don’t want my help. It’s their loss. I’m still sad though. I care too much.

I'll never forget this one guy, witness a guy beating his gf, he stopped it, then the guy literally beat him to an inch of his life, he was in the hospital a year!

TG police showed up quickly, he would have died!

The girl just got up, went home w/her abuser!>:(

Im so sorry, Aurora, & for your friend, her kids especially!

Marina Starr
08-31-2021, 08:13 AM
Made a mistake of going to home depot today and I've never dealt with so many useless men in one day. None of them know where shit are and it's because they're so busy checking you out and sexualizing you instead of LISTENING to what you're asking. I KNOW I can't be the only one experiencing this.

Marina Starr
08-31-2021, 01:52 PM
He will now think you're playing hard to get and that excites him! It's hard for men to fathom how it's possible for women to feel whole and complete without dicks.

He'll be waiting for you with open arms and a hard dick. Are you excited?


Yeah^

This guy (former roomie) we text & talk, now he just insulted me cause I won't get w/him..jeez.

I told him I'm celebate, but, gotta go there::)

miss.a.p1600
09-01-2021, 06:47 AM
I hate how men will be so boneheaded n stubborn about doing something THEIR way, even if their way is totally inefficient

whirlerz
09-01-2021, 10:44 AM
Yes, told the one roomie his truck lights were on, (he's 2 vehicles), lended it to other roomie, who went to start it this morning, guess what?

Had to give him a jump. Lord !

Made him a sandwich, texted him AND left a note by his door so he knows its there!::)

AChildOfBoredom
09-01-2021, 01:17 PM
Made him a sandwich

I hope he appreciates that. Last time I offered a guy a sandwich, he just stayed curled up and whines about, “Put this goddam thing down already!”. For a gender that passes themselves off as being so tough, they sure are a bunch of bitchy prima donnas.

whirlerz
09-01-2021, 02:46 PM
I hope he appreciates that. Last time I offered a guy a sandwich, he just stayed curled up and whines about, “Put this goddam thing down already!”. For a gender that passes themselves off as being so tough, they sure are a bunch of bitchy prima donnas.


LOL, LMAO!:rotfl:
I wish I could tell you how many times, driving in my car I replayed that scenario in my head, muttering, "do you want a sandwich"? & laughing.my.ass.off!

I wanted to tell him the story, but held off...
I'm sure he's been on those lifts before, he's an electrician.
Yes, he said thank you very much by text..

He fixed my little table top fountain, was looking for a can opener last night, I just felt bad cause he's so kind to everyone, I didn't want him hungry, he's so skinny.

I told him to get what hw wants out of kitchen fridge (that's mine) but he won't, so..

miss.a.p1600
09-01-2021, 03:08 PM
I hope he appreciates that. Last time I offered a guy a sandwich, he just stayed curled up and whines about, “Put this goddam thing down already!”. For a gender that passes themselves off as being so tough, they sure are a bunch of bitchy prima donnas.

yes. Some of them (especially the ones who were raised by moms who enabled n coddled them) are the main ones who be acting like spoiled fairy queens.

xxxGothBarbie
09-01-2021, 07:04 PM
I'm so fucking annoyed (could be pms but doubtful) at boytoy who has basically become my bf. Ok so Fri night I got a hotel room which he gave me half for (usually the mfer paid for ALL of it) & we went to a show on sun & he said at time of purchasing tix he'd pay for mine so I said fuck it let's go. Ok now I'm all of a sudden paying for my own ticket & he's saying he's helping us both save/budget.... Ummm wuuut?! I'm so close to telling him if he can't afford me then kick rocks bc I'm getting low on $$$ thanks to airbnb & hotels here in nyc bc I can't find a dam room to rent. UGH! and this idiot lives at home only has to pay $200 a month rent!

I have been crashing there on weekends to save $$$ but his mom is obnoxios AF!

miss.a.p1600
09-01-2021, 07:25 PM
When men be farting, you walk through their airspace, and they act dumb like nothing happened.

I wish you could be arrested rn for subjecting me to your stench without my consent.

If I could I would tie you up, put an “oxygen” mask on your face, then fart through the connecting tube

neverendingkneebruises
09-02-2021, 03:06 AM
Trusting them to lead is anxiety provoking.

Look at the situation in Afghanistan how so many men left their wives & families behind to try & escape. Lol "protectors" my ass

AChildOfBoredom
09-02-2021, 04:21 AM
LOL, LMAO!:rotfl:
I wish I could tell you how many times, driving in my car I replayed that scenario in my head, muttering, "do you want a sandwich"? & laughing.my.ass.off!

I wanted to tell him the story, but held off...
I'm sure he's been on those lifts before, he's an electrician.
Yes, he said thank you very much by text..

He fixed my little table top fountain, was looking for a can opener last night, I just felt bad cause he's so kind to everyone, I didn't want him hungry, he's so skinny.

I told him to get what hw wants out of kitchen fridge (that's mine) but he won't, so..

It was disappointing. I buy quality lunch meat, too.

Marina Starr
09-02-2021, 04:48 AM
Some girl shared on social media pictures of her complex flooding badly, cars are getting drowned in water and low value dudes are telling her how beautiful she's looking.
Without a care for how's she's doing or if she's okay.

I am beyond disgusted and appalled. I don't think women do this to other women when they're in despair. Totally inappropriate and unnecessary.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2021, 09:16 AM
^because those are the type of men who weren’t raised right. Raised by a misogynist dad or an enabling mom.

Marina Starr
09-02-2021, 10:06 AM
RIGHT! I'm not shocked or surprised but I would question my conscience if I wasn't bother by their shitty behaviors. The lack of decency and humanity should be everyone's business.

These assholes are not teachable. I have not met a man that like to be mistreated the way they do it to women. I've asked a table full of men 'if anyone of you are okay with being mistreated the way you do it to women, raise your hand!'. I repeated that question a few times and none of them raise their hands. So they DO know. Then it feels so fucking good when I chastised and berated every single one of them so next time hopefully they can be mindful and think twice about their low class behaviors.


^because those are the type of men who weren’t raised right. Raised by a misogynist dad or an enabling mom.

miss.a.p1600
09-03-2021, 07:20 AM
Men are THE biggest hypocrites on the planet.

They’re okay cheating on women, breaking up so they can fuck hundreds of women, etc. And literally expect women to take them back.

But let a woman do the EXACT same thing and their weak asses can’t handle it one bit.

This is why women should stick to their guns and NEVER take a man back if he cheats or breaks up with you. Idk if you got 10 kids by the dude. Never take them back after the fuck around on you.

Marina Starr
09-05-2021, 08:28 AM
It's pathetic when men try to gaslight by saying 'those are your words not mine' or 'the issue is yours' when they're confronted about their manipulative and shitty behaviors.

Yeah motherfuckers, I got plenty of issues with your low value ass and I'm demanding you to cut the shit or get the fuck out!

miss.a.p1600
09-05-2021, 10:48 AM
Look up the word HYPOCRITE and you should see a picture of a man next to it.

They are notorious for complaining about something you’re doing whilst at the same time either doing it or having done it themselves.

Then look up the word IDIOT and you’ll probably see another picture of a man.

Marina Starr
09-05-2021, 11:08 AM
Oh girl, there are so many words I've lost counts that you will see picture of a man from Merriam Webster.

Such as delusional, narcissist, fragile, crybaby just to name a few.


Look up the word HYPOCRITE and you should see a picture of a man next to it.

They are notorious for complaining about something you’re doing whilst at the same time either doing it or having done it themselves.

Then look up the word IDIOT and you’ll probably see another picture of a man.

Aurora_Sunset
09-05-2021, 12:15 PM
It's pathetic when men try to gaslight by saying 'those are your words not mine' or 'the issue is yours' when they're confronted about their manipulative and shitty behaviors.

Yeah motherfuckers, I got plenty of issues with your low value ass and I'm demanding you to cut the shit or get the fuck out!

My ex, after we broke up, tried to gaslight me by proclaiming that he had never had an issue with my job in sex work. And that it must be my internalized shame of myself that I was projecting onto him to make me "think" that he had problem and start fights about it.

LMFAO
Motherfucker, excuse me? The only reason we EVER fought about it was because HE would start fights. I rattled off so many nasty verbatim quotes about how had felt about my job, and me doing my job, that had come directly out of his mouth back to him to shut him the fuck up after that. I couldn't even believe he had the AUDACITY.

Marina Starr
09-05-2021, 01:57 PM
I'm glad he's your EX. A classic abuser/gaslighter will have you convinced you're to blame so they don't have take responsibilities for their behaviors.

Your ex and so many people can't wrap their heads around the fact that if we're shame of sex work, we wouldn't be doing it!


My ex, after we broke up, tried to gaslight me by proclaiming that he had never had an issue with my job in sex work. And that it must be my internalized shame of myself that I was projecting onto him to make me "think" that he had problem and start fights about it.

LMFAO
Motherfucker, excuse me? The only reason we EVER fought about it was because HE would start fights. I rattled off so many nasty verbatim quotes about how had felt about my job, and me doing my job, that had come directly out of his mouth back to him to shut him the fuck up after that. I couldn't even believe he had the AUDACITY.

TheBrownFox
09-05-2021, 03:29 PM
They always got something to say about a woman's body and appearance. Sorry, but no man should be talking shit about a woman's stretch marks and whatnot...especially if he's walking around with a lil' Halloween fun-size Snickers dick. LMFAO!

Marina Starr
09-05-2021, 04:22 PM
Women's bodies and appearance are always being policed. It would be in the best interest of ugly men to shut the fuck up. Women are more than their bodies. Stop reducing women to objects.

Furthermore, man or woman, no one has the right to body shame or tell anyone what they like or don't like about THEIR bodies.

Stretch marks are not flaws. I got stretch marks all over my hips and thighs. Normalize stretch marks!



They always got something to say about a woman's body and appearance. Sorry, but no man should be talking shit about a woman's stretch marks and whatnot...especially if he's walking around with a lil' Halloween fun-size Snickers dick. LMFAO!

indiegirl
09-05-2021, 06:33 PM
I decided it was another brilliant day to stay home last minute, even from working. He talks about my well-being and he decided it would be best if I ubered there and he drove me back tomorrow and then we did some stuff AKA sex and then went to the grocery store. Yes it's the same guy. He fixed things around his house because I complained about them but I know he wants me to buy him things from the grocery store and needs sex so I'm staying home. I wore my vibrator out at home these past few days. I'm totally fine in that department. When I'm ready I will find a suitable partner in the future. But I'm not paying for anymore shit now so the vibrator will do.

I'm cooking on the stove right now and checking out what's new on netflix so I can relax :P! Not in the mood to entertain a man that is temporary for free today.

BambiCutie
09-05-2021, 07:35 PM
A man will promise you the world, tell you all the things you want to hear and say the same thing in another woman's ear.

indiegirl
09-06-2021, 09:33 AM
Eyeroll. When a man tells you they've changed, it's only temporarily. ONCE AGAIN, the same loser who screwed me over in life contacted me this morning under yet another phone number. Hunny, leave me alone!

On a sidenote, I've been missing pole work on stage but I don't miss the exhaustion hustling at the club gave me. I'm watching videos on Youtube and that is sufficient instead LOL.

Luci Fer
09-06-2021, 09:51 AM
Exactly this. She's gonna make her own decisions, for her own reasons, regardless of anything else I might say on the matter. And then I'm just the asshole friend who is trying to ruin her marriage or something. I've already started to make peace with the fact that until/unless she actually leaves him, I'll probably never see her again. She had me submit an affidavit when she was trying to get a restraining order, talking about what I know about his abusive BS from the past. Immediately after the hearing, he blocked me on facebook. I can't imagine I'd ever be welcomed back for a visit now. ::)

Not the first time I've gone through this unfortunately. Been the friend that hears alllll the shit that some abusive ass has been doing, get asked to help them get away, and then they go back and I'm first on the list to get cut because 1) now the guy says I'm a "bad influence" and 2) embarrassment at them going back after telling me all that shit and knowing I don't approve.

I can't make people's decisions for them. They're grown adults that already have one controlling dick in their life - I won't be another one. But it's also hard to just pretend like I don't care or approve of the situation after I know what I know. So the only real option is to kinda drift away and hope they leave eventually so we can go back to being friends.

It's always so bitter to be in such position. When you witness it and you know you just cant, shouldn't interfere, but at the same time it all looks so unfair. I feel so sorry for the kids. It's ok if a woman has no kids and decides to stay to give her abuser a chance, it's her personal choice, but when there are kids...damn, it's just so wrong. It's like they and their choices are ignored. :(

Luci Fer
09-06-2021, 09:53 AM
A man will promise you the world, tell you all the things you want to hear and say the same thing in another woman's ear.

It's such a sobering thought, isn't it?;D I love it.

carmen_b
09-06-2021, 01:24 PM
Indie :
I can not believe that dude would have you pay for a damn thing !
Like maybe a round of drinks or something when out but food / groceries ?
Noooooooo!!!!

It’s so shocking to me to be an active sex worker and then interact with men and have them act “ meh “.
It is just SO odd !!
I spent most of 2019 giving these honest and whole hearted attempts to date then getting pissed off and cutting men off in favor of just spending more time at the club.
:/

TheBrownFox
09-06-2021, 03:43 PM
They always talking about how they "wanna find a girl/wifey" (Cringe @ "Wifey"), and then when they happen to actually have a good-ass woman...they take her for granted. Sing it with me..."Dooon't it always seem to gooo...that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone....."

Nah, they don't want a woman. They want a doormat...NOT an opinionated woman who expresses herself, and speaks up when something's on her mind. They don't like it when a woman asks questions. They'd love for you to just be quiet and keep your mouth closed...except for when ready to put their cock in it.....

I feel like many of them don't really even want a wife. They want some "in-house booty"...someone who'll cook for them and wash their nasty drawz. Lmao.

The loyalty we give them...it sure isn't reciprocated. Dudes will cheat on their gf's/wives with every chick in the tri-state area, and it's "Well...he IS a MAN...that's what they do." *Facepalm* Yet when a woman posts a photo of herself in a sexy dress and heels...enjoying a night out with her girl friends, it's "Why is she out at night being a thot when she has a baby at home?"

Oh, and if men had to deal with the same kind of heartbreak they put women through, they'd be drowning their sorrows in alcohol/drugs/etc., and they'd swear they're "done with bitches for good." Lol.

Marina Starr
09-06-2021, 04:02 PM
I used to buy into the notion that you need a man's love. Now all I want is his money.

https://i.ibb.co/Yd3TLvS/tumblr-e6fe78857551faf8164f11b3a4b8da13-6478b1b7-500.gif (https://imgbb.com/)

Aurora_Sunset
09-07-2021, 11:39 AM
Oh, and if men had to deal with the same kind of heartbreak they put women through, they'd be drowning their sorrows in alcohol/drugs/etc., and they'd swear they're "done with bitches for good." Lol.

A man goes through ONE bad breakup when they're 20 years old, and they'll spend the rest of their lives being an emotionally unavailable, dickbag, baby about relationships and how they treat future women. And they secretly/not-so-secretly expect/demand some magical, manic pixie dreamgirl to someday come along and "cure them" of their heartbreak and distrust in women.

Marina Starr
09-07-2021, 11:56 AM
In able for anyone to experience any kind of heartbreak they must have a heart. The major of men don't have a heart.

indiegirl
09-07-2021, 08:43 PM
When they completely deny they said something in the past like I'm making it up or don't remember what I said. Like HELLO, how could you forget my age? I think the guy in the past really showed me his true colors when he refused YET AGAIN to drive to me. But when I mentioned having sex he hopped into his car like his life depended on it.

I'm so mad at myself more than him.

AChildOfBoredom
09-08-2021, 03:20 AM
I haven’t been called a “sandwich maker” since our high lying adventure. Still, I know this fucking shitgibbon still thinks the same way.

Luci Fer
09-08-2021, 04:22 AM
I haven’t been called a “sandwich maker” since our high lying adventure. Still, I know this fucking shitgibbon still thinks the same way.

Maybe the word 'sandwich' makes him shudder every time now.;D

miss.a.p1600
09-08-2021, 06:54 AM
When they completely deny they said something in the past like I'm making it up or don't remember what I said. Like HELLO, how could you forget my age? I think the guy in the past really showed me his true colors when he refused YET AGAIN to drive to me. But when I mentioned having sex he hopped into his car like his life depended on it.

I'm so mad at myself more than him.

Because rather than get caught telling bold faced lies they conveniently “forget” thus effectively gaslighting you.

But let the topic turn to sex and they got crystal clear focus n memory.

This is why they should be denied sex (or charged accordingly) until further notice lol.

miss.a.p1600
09-08-2021, 07:08 AM
Sorry I have to reiterate how hypocritical most men are.

Especially the dumb ones.

They be the main ones talking about women being “hoes” and “selling pussy” and how no respectable woman would do that.

But let their dumb asses be a woman for the day ( a right they don’t deserve). They’d probably be out on the street hoeing daily.