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carmen_b
10-27-2022, 06:04 PM
Sending good vibes ! I'm there with you ! Trying to move on. It's hard.

I'm curious ..... why do you feel he still has a hold on you ? Like .... what qualities are you missing ?
A lot of it is really just the sex chemistry which is a STRONG hold for women.
But back to the qualities .....
Basically ..... HOW can you give yourself the parts you feel are missing ?

How long were you together ?


How long does it seriously take to completely get over a bad breakup? It's so annoying still having it weigh down on you even when you know he's probably not this bent out of shape from it.... I blocked him everywhere, I can't even look up his social media anymore even if I wanted to. I've been eating better and exercising and doing everything they tell you to do but I still don't feel much better... I know he's not good for me, when we broke up that was me prioritizing my wellbeing. And even though I did everything I could do on my end and I don't regret it at all, and other men have been treating me much better, (nothing serious because I date men strictly for money nowadays, & I've been celibate) but it still feels like a struggle just to get through the day... I feel dumb because after 5 months I feel like I should be over it. :( It hurts much less than it did at first, at least. But still I have motivations & dreams I am finding it difficult to focus on because of this. It's the worst at nighttime right before I go to bed. I just want to live my life but I feel like I can't get over this slump

carmen_b
10-27-2022, 07:02 PM
^ Oh for me some of it is just missing the conversation and companionship !
Make sure you are getting those like doing a couple of social outings per week if you can while working at the club + whatever else you've got going on ( it's hard sometimes after giving so much to customers ).

carmen_b
10-27-2022, 10:24 PM
NeverEnding : What happened exactly ? Why did you break up?

WendiStarr
10-28-2022, 05:55 AM
BD and his multiple phone numbers. He sent verbally abusive crap, changed his tune to a fake apology, begged me to come back, said that he wants to marry me, and then sent me "Goodbye my lover" by James Blunt. Wtf? My IBS has been flaring bad lately. I just want to be happy and feeling good again.

carmen_b
10-28-2022, 08:18 AM
^ I wonder if you could get the court to get more money out of him in addition to child care stuff for this nonsense.
It just seems like if you can PROVE something like this you should get emotional damage payments.

miss.a.p1600
10-28-2022, 12:17 PM
^take it from me…..DO NOT get locked in with these delusional dudes and more than you already are.

Or you’ll end up with ibs, high blood pressure, weight gain, insomnia, bags under eye, anxiety and a host of other problems dealing with their asses.

miss.a.p1600
10-28-2022, 02:57 PM
I find that men respect boundaries more when there is an employer enforcing said boundaries

I will NEVER live with a man (again In life) especially ones who dont respect boundaries of my time regardless if I’m self employed or employed with a company

The moment they find out you are self employed is the moment they try to bombard you with “hey since you’re “off” can you pick up dry cleaners/pick up my kid/pickup groceries/ insert whatever chore they should be doing themselves”

carmen_b
10-28-2022, 03:18 PM
^ It's DISGUSTING how some people treat self employed people.
RESPECT my time. I mean .... hey .... if you don't I'll just lie anyway and be unavailable.

Since when did setting a monetary goal and taking hitting it SERIOUSLY not become enough to not touch certain hours? Just TRUST that I'm available only in certain hours !

chanzep
10-28-2022, 04:05 PM
Wendi isn't him bothering you against your restraining orders?. I would report him and get him locked up. He abused you and stole your kids. He deserves the worst.

miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 07:11 PM
L randomly says “you only think about yourself”

Bitch! Every move you make is calculated to benefit your wants, your desires, and your kids.

So FOOH with your male privilege and your baggage

I’m damn sure going to think about myself, and KEEP thinking about myself. Mf! It’s called BOUNDARIES and SELF ESTEEM.

I have goals I WILL accomplish with or without your bitch ass and not you or anyone will stop me from accomplishing what I’ve been put on this earth to do

I guess these idiot men assume I’m supposed to have low self esteem and agree to all their dumb ass demands.

LoveyD
10-29-2022, 07:21 PM
I have to say, I was thinking about it today. I'm much more at peace living in my car that I ever have been living with a man. I don't miss it.

miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 08:38 PM
^im jealous. And mark my words I will NEVER live with a man again in my entire life. The shit is overrated

LoveyD
10-30-2022, 03:31 AM
^^ Me either, except for my son. He is easy to live with but that's because I raised him to be a civilized human being.

As far as partners go, yeah it's overrated. I'm done.

If I was given the choice to live with my ex partner in his million dollar house in the nice part of town with with the pool, hot tub, and ocean view or my car, I would choose my car. That's how annoying he and his shit was.

miss.a.p1600
10-30-2022, 04:37 AM
^wish more men were raised right like how well you did with your son.

LoveyD
10-30-2022, 10:51 PM
^^Thank you. I did not want to raise a gross person lol. God knows we have enough gross men in our world.

carmen_b
10-31-2022, 08:53 AM
^ Add me to the list of living solo for a bit !
I always have LOVED partnership and having a life blended with a partner.
After dealing with J though ( so high maintenance ) it made me really see the RISKS of living with someone.

Once you are there you are obviously in a spot to not just EASILY leave.
I found that the level of difficulty regarding leaving ( since I had renters in my home with a year long lease ) made me overlook some behaviors and excuse them. I think it might have gone down differently if I had a place to easily go !

I basically have a plan to just quit renting my home out as a total unit but put a room mate or two in if I want to have it affordable. I would want to hold a room open for myself ( even I'm only there a few days a month ) for a LONG time. I take my house back over in mid - Jan.

miss.a.p1600
10-31-2022, 02:51 PM
^i think men knowing what options you have gives them male privileged ones ammo to use for their selfish benefit.

The think you don’t have options so they get cocky af and start acting like assholes.

carmen_b
10-31-2022, 02:57 PM
^ I FELT that I think !
I realized later that I should have just told J I was renting my home to a friend " month to month " .
I do think at some level him knowing about the one year lease sort of caused him to " slip " where he maybe wouldn't have. That is what I wish I would have done really, I just didn't think to. Then I would have had the power to be like " oh I can tell my friend to leave in two weeks and I'll take the house back over ".

I never thought to not disclose the lease length back in Jan. when we were signing because it just seemed like info to share with partner like " I'm set for the next year with this ".

miss.a.p1600
10-31-2022, 03:08 PM
They can NEVER handle the truth if they know the following:

If you work/worked in adult industry
If you make a lot more money than them
If you are self employed
How well you will fare without them

carmen_b
10-31-2022, 03:20 PM
^ Well 3 out of 4 haha ?

He made more technically in a " month to month " way. It is hard to tell what my investments will do over time. Something I hope ! Ha.

Well .... sorry ?
I'll bring that 75% truth ball proudly forward. haha

moneybags
11-01-2022, 03:34 PM
This isn’t a man bitch so much as a feminist celebration. This is the first time I’ve ever lived in an apartment and felt safe and secure. Things get fixed and they are fair when it comes to pricing. I just found out the building is owned and managed by women. Go figure. I’m happier living in a property owned and managed by women.

I donated $5 to the fuck off fund for the women’s March.

Vote for women. Support women owned businesses. Fuck the patriarchy.

Dreamqueen
11-02-2022, 10:13 AM
This isn’t a man bitch so much as a feminist celebration. This is the first time I’ve ever lived in an apartment and felt safe and secure. Things get fixed and they are fair when it comes to pricing. I just found out the building is owned and managed by women. Go figure. I’m happier living in a property owned and managed by women.

I donated $5 to the fuck off fund for the women’s March.

Vote for women. Support women owned businesses. Fuck the patriarchy.

Oh, wow. You're so lucky.
That's my dream.
I would live in my place forever if that was the case here.

miss.a.p1600
11-02-2022, 12:55 PM
I hate when men are too lazy, can’t fix things (and/or act too broke and too stupid to know how to hire someone who can fix it), and just act like pampered queens parading around

Um no bitch! The only pampered queen in this mf is me!

lilylilylily
11-02-2022, 09:29 PM
When dudes on the dating app ask how your luck is going on the app, well duh I'm still here. It's such a pointless question and it's none of their business. This last dude asked me a second time after I ignored it the first time. So I said well, I'm still here. Then I asked how his luck is, lol. See what he says to that annoying question. Lol I also find I can sense when a guy is gonna annoy me in some way even before it happens

carmen_b
11-02-2022, 09:38 PM
^ hahaha

I just got a profile up recently. I haven't got that yet lol !

It's like the clubs guys asking how the money is the night !

Like ..... just over here waiting for someone to NOT be an idiot !

JenniferNorth
11-03-2022, 10:59 AM
Why do men want accolades for going to work? Isn't that something they should be doing anyway?

My husband is a far better man than my ex, but it's like he wants "recognition" for going to work or something. Um. What would you do if I WASN'T in the picture? Go to work?

I've been on his ass non-stop about leaving his current job and getting one in the field he initially wanted to be in. He's making under $20 and that's just not going to work. We have two kids to raise. His solution was for me to start doing DoorDash (!! Put wear and tear on the car??!).

So....rather than go out and get BETTER work that would solve a decent portion of our issues, you'd rather I go do shit work (no offense to anyone who does this, I'm a shit driver and our car is older so I don't think it's a smart choice for us. I also work in the home too, so its not like I sit on my ass all day).

Also, what is up with making "having fun at work" a priority??? Like I don't care if you enjoy your coworkers or you guys have fun together. This stupid job is not a long-term solution for our family!!! Shouldn't our daughters and their needs be more important than your shit ass job???

carmen_b
11-03-2022, 11:09 AM
^ He should be making more.
Sorry. Ugh.

JenniferNorth
11-03-2022, 11:18 AM
^ He should be making more.
Sorry. Ugh.

Don't be, it's not your fault! It's also not the first time he's been okay with some shit job and not fixing the circumstances.

But at some point this will no longer be okay. I don't care if he wants to fuck up his own life, but he's not doing this to me or two young children.

miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 01:04 PM
Why do men want accolades for going to work? Isn't that something they should be doing anyway?

My husband is a far better man than my ex, but it's like he wants "recognition" for going to work or something. Um. What would you do if I WASN'T in the picture? Go to work?

I've been on his ass non-stop about leaving his current job and getting one in the field he initially wanted to be in. He's making under $20 and that's just not going to work. We have two kids to raise. His solution was for me to start doing DoorDash (!! Put wear and tear on the car??!).

So....rather than go out and get BETTER work that would solve a decent portion of our issues, you'd rather I go do shit work (no offense to anyone who does this, I'm a shit driver and our car is older so I don't think it's a smart choice for us. I also work in the home too, so its not like I sit on my ass all day).

Also, what is up with making "having fun at work" a priority??? Like I don't care if you enjoy your coworkers or you guys have fun together. This stupid job is not a long-term solution for our family!!! Shouldn't our daughters and their needs be more important than your shit ass job???

Girl it took me mf over a year of nagging and hassling for L to FINALLY get off his big slow ass and apply for the higher paying jobs.

If L’s lazy ass can do it……anyone can do it.

The average man has been coddled by their parents and would rather a woman go “get it in the mud” with them than to provide better. They totally act clueless sometimes

Just stay on him. But also know your limit and focus on empowering and developing yourself (doesn’t necessarily have to be money wise but it can be) so they can’t hit back with “well what are YOU doing huh?”

miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 01:06 PM
I don’t know what drugs L took but I rejected him for sex because I was too tired and I want romance (even if I’m not emotionally attached) and didn’t act like a bitch hearing NO.

I’m bitching because he should already understand sex is NOT a guarantee.

My body my choice mf!!!!

whirlerz
11-03-2022, 01:30 PM
My guy likes to do everything the most expensive, time consuming, & difficult way..

Ex, his high mileage car was having a few problems, I found a decent priced one, newer, lower mileage, he refused to even look at it. He later admitted I was right about the car!

He drives 80 mi each way to see his relative, & his trunk's filled to the brim w/his belongings, he said he 'saves $' by not getting a storage, (wasting gas tho by driving overloaded) ::)
Then he went ahead & spent like 5k getting the clunker fixed, the car he had before that, he let totally break down to inoperable, had to be towed to the dealership, they gave him 20.00 for it

He lives at a shit extended stay, (he sold his home as is) it's a 'self cleaning' place, what! ? (No cleaning done there, he pays them to wash linens)? I showed him the room here, he wasn't interested, ok cool, then I suggested a small motel w/weekly rates, but he didn't seem interested in that either

Tried to get him to look at some mobile homes where you own the lot, he let me have hopes about it, then took it away.
I said w/the amounts we both pay, it's way overboard, & we'd save $ but..

Anyway, he gambles (always has, slots only) at the casinos, he's been talking about it a lot lately, he got some free slot playing ::), tried to tell him about bars & such that have slots w/better odds at least (not as high jackpots, still risky tho).

So. Whatever, I called him yesterday, no answer, no callback, so I'm trying to rethink stuff here myself, I think it's better I don't live w/him anyway.

Sorry so long ^

carmen_b
11-03-2022, 01:45 PM
Jennifer :
My Hawaii guy 2011 -2018 did that when we moved off the island. He worked at Starbucks for 6 months which is totally cool I figured for a few months while applying over here with the local address. He wasn’t aggressive enough . I don’t remember but maybe it was actually 6-12 months. I did love our weekly pound of beans though !!
The kicker ? He had worked in news broadcasting for 10 years AND the apartment I found was in WALKING distance to the stations.

He found a gig eventually.
When I told him my business was on track to make enough in 2017 to travel for a year and pay for BOTH of us AND I could do it remotely he balked. I asked him that when he was at Starbucks NOT when he had the next news job.
I was like ..... lets just GO for 4-12 months ( whatever we feel ) .
Ok .......

lilylilylily
11-03-2022, 01:49 PM
So the guy on the dating site who asked me about my luck on the app answered when I asked him the same thing lol. He said he's had good luck. Even had a 2 year relationship with someone from the app but he's been single for 3 years and came back on the app..ok... I really don't care about dating anymore, I just go on when I'm bored and feel like being annoyed lol now he asked what my plans are this weekend ugh

miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 02:01 PM
My guy likes to do everything the most expensive, time consuming, & difficult way..

Ex, his high mileage car was having a few problems, I found a decent priced one, newer, lower mileage, he refused to even look at it. He later admitted I was right about the car!

He drives 80 mi each way to see his relative, & his trunk's filled to the brim w/his belongings, he said he 'saves $' by not getting a storage, (wasting gas tho by driving overloaded) ::)
Then he went ahead & spent like 5k getting the clunker fixed, the car he had before that, he let totally break down to inoperable, had to be towed to the dealership, they gave him 20.00 for it

He lives at a shit extended stay, (he sold his home as is) it's a 'self cleaning' place, what! ? (No cleaning done there, he pays them to wash linens)? I showed him the room here, he wasn't interested, ok cool, then I suggested a small motel w/weekly rates, but he didn't seem interested in that either

Tried to get him to look at some mobile homes where you own the lot, he let me have hopes about it, then took it away.
I said w/the amounts we both pay, it's way overboard, & we'd save $ but..

Anyway, he gambles (always has, slots only) at the casinos, he's been talking about it a lot lately, he got some free slot playing ::), tried to tell him about bars & such that have slots w/better odds at least (not as high jackpots, still risky tho).

So. Whatever, I called him yesterday, no answer, no callback, so I'm trying to rethink stuff here myself, I think it's better I don't live w/him anyway.

Sorry so long ^

Take it from me ….. DO NOT live with a man - unless you have some real estate you own and control that you can go back to if it doesn’t work out.

Most of these men have no qualms about disturbing your peace, encroaching on your free time, trying to swindle their way out of providing properly.

They also act annoying as shit (ex. Pissing everywhere but the toilet, shitting then not flushing the remnants/not controlling the odor, leaving dirty clothes n wet towels around, smacking/burping/farting, and too many annoying quirks they constantly do.

There is no benefit in living with a man unless they’re going to write you in the will AND pay ALL the bills.

WendiStarr
11-03-2022, 02:19 PM
I spent hours waiting on the AT&T people. I don't know why but they sent a damn male sales person instead of tech support. It was just a plug missing. Now my internet is working but not my phone. Why do men fuck stuff up?

carmen_b
11-03-2022, 03:51 PM
It's not really a terrible answer I'd say.
He seems hopeful to maybe actually try to find a connection .


So the guy on the dating site who asked me about my luck on the app answered when I asked him the same thing lol. He said he's had good luck. Even had a 2 year relationship with someone from the app but he's been single for 3 years and came back on the app..ok... I really don't care about dating anymore, I just go on when I'm bored and feel like being annoyed lol now he asked what my plans are this weekend ugh

carmen_b
11-03-2022, 03:53 PM
^ I kind of feel bad I'm even on the app in my current state .
Like ..... I intend to be in THIS city only 50% of the time in the next 20 days lol .
How is that really fair ? BUT ..... I mean .... if there is someone fabulous I can easily modify my plans.

Perhaps it's time for another dating thread ?
I thought the other one was bad voodoo because there was this weird phase when 4-5 of us were actively in it and having zero luck at one point lol.

whirlerz
11-03-2022, 06:00 PM
Take it from me ….. DO NOT live with a man - unless you have some real estate you own and control that you can go back to if it doesn’t work out.

Most of these men have no qualms about disturbing your peace, encroaching on your free time, trying to swindle their way out of providing properly.

They also act annoying as shit (ex. Pissing everywhere but the toilet, shitting then not flushing the remnants/not controlling the odor, leaving dirty clothes n wet towels around, smacking/burping/farting, and too many annoying quirks they constantly do.

There is no benefit in living with a man unless they’re going to write you in the will AND pay ALL the bills.

^^^
Also, this other guy, (former crush) & I had discussed sharing an apt together, well, he's been gone from here (not moved out, he works very far).

Property Mgr asked if I could get in touch w/him, as he hasn't paid rent! Idk know how long/how much, Mgr likes the guy, he's done a fair amount of work around here. He just wants to know what's going on, he doesn't want to evict him..

I called him, his phone says not accepting call, I texted him, nothing.
He has a bunch of stuff here

carmen_b
11-03-2022, 06:02 PM
^ Wow, something is super off with him.
Who shuts their phone off ?

Also Whirl, I didn't realize you were seeing someone. :)

miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 08:05 PM
I spent hours waiting on the AT&T people. I don't know why but they sent a damn male sales person instead of tech support. It was just a plug missing. Now my internet is working but not my phone. Why do men fuck stuff up?

It’s prob the nature of the company

At my current company we have performance metrics and if we can’t get the outcome over the phone it messes up our metrics so to keep metrics high we have to send a rep out in person (and we don’t tell them that they’re coming out just that someone is going to call them back. And how that person gets to their house from a phone call is on them lol)

And yes men stay fucking shit up but want to say how they think women aren’t as good of leaders as they are when they are really too dumb to lead their way out of a paper bag if their life depended on it

miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 08:43 PM
Just watched a Tyler Perry film and all I can say is …… MISOGYNIST!

JenniferNorth
11-04-2022, 04:45 AM
Girl it took me mf over a year of nagging and hassling for L to FINALLY get off his big slow ass and apply for the higher paying jobs.

If L’s lazy ass can do it……anyone can do it.

The average man has been coddled by their parents and would rather a woman go “get it in the mud” with them than to provide better. They totally act clueless sometimes

Just stay on him. But also know your limit and focus on empowering and developing yourself (doesn’t necessarily have to be money wise but it can be) so they can’t hit back with “well what are YOU doing huh?”

I'm glad he finally got something better (LOL we all know how he was about taking advice!)! But yes, my husband is CAPABLE, just fucking lazy. He's a security officer for the resort here in town (it's actually more work than just walking around all day, like most people assume...giving CPR, dealing with lost kids, handling drunks and other intense situations). My husband wants to be a cop and I'm okay with that because it's better pay and great state benefits. The problem is that he needs to buckle down on passing the physical test (the sit up part kills him) and he's picky about where he'll drive for work.

Our fucking CITY, right here, where we LIVE is hiring, and I have to help this mf'er fill out the application. He also won't apply for a county position (not our county) that is nearby, but was totally fine having me help him apply for a different one. Like dude, you cannot be picky. Most of these places aren't picky either, and there's no longer an age cap (at least in my state).

I honestly have to wonder how some of these men handled life before they met us??

You are 100% correct though, I need to stay on empowering myself (started focusing on my career again yesterday now that I'm not slammed with work at the moment). These men...they expect you to go out and work, keep a clean house and cook, take care of kids, and a bunch of other stuff...when all they did was work.

carmen_b
11-04-2022, 08:00 AM
^ I would apply for both the city and county on his behalf .
Who really cares who fills out the paper work ? :)

Plus I think the full cop uniform is sexier than the security uniforms I typically see.

whirlerz
11-04-2022, 08:05 AM
^ Wow, something is super off with him.
Who shuts their phone off ?

Also Whirl, I didn't realize you were seeing someone. :)

Well, it says, "this phone # not accepting calls", I thought maybe it was cause of his job.. I did text him tho, it went thru (it said).

I have a platonic friend.

Jucie
11-04-2022, 08:37 AM
My boss is nastier than I thought, I’ll have to be careful now not to be involved in something that I don’t feel like. And he’s got a picture of his wife and kids pointed towards me every Thursday when I give him the bj.

Dreamqueen
11-04-2022, 09:54 AM
57766

If you hate the Patriarchy as much as I do, here's the feel good movie of the century.
It's called "Planet Earth".
Not sure where to find it, but I'm sure it must be on a few platforms.
I was just a teen when it came out, but remember thinking how life would be better if things were run by women.
I had already been molested by older men at that young age.

WendiStarr
11-04-2022, 10:09 AM
^^ Omg, JenniferNorth, I can relate with the last paragraph. No idea how some men survive without women. Taking care of kids is a full-time job in itself. Keeping the house clean and cooking is like two more full-time jobs. I swear, I have no idea how many times I sweep and vacuum what seems like the same messes over and over again. When I lived with BD I used to get pissed off when he told me that I did nothing all day, when all he did was log in to work, sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours, get 2 paid breaks, and an hour long lunch break. I think I want to be a man in my next life.

I have this handyman that came over too late last night(too late for me is anything past 8pm because of the kids) and took forever to leave. The kids were too riled up over a stranger being here so they wouldn't go to sleep at 9pm. They wouldn't go to sleep at 10pm either because he was still frickin' here. He didn't finish the job so he has to come back again and it better not be past 6pm again.

JenniferNorth
11-04-2022, 12:47 PM
^^ Omg, JenniferNorth, I can relate with the last paragraph. No idea how some men survive without women. Taking care of kids is a full-time job in itself. Keeping the house clean and cooking is like two more full-time jobs. I swear, I have no idea how many times I sweep and vacuum what seems like the same messes over and over again. When I lived with BD I used to get pissed off when he told me that I did nothing all day, when all he did was log in to work, sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours, get 2 paid breaks, and an hour long lunch break. I think I want to be a man in my next life.

I have this handyman that came over too late last night(too late for me is anything past 8pm because of the kids) and took forever to leave. The kids were too riled up over a stranger being here so they wouldn't go to sleep at 9pm. They wouldn't go to sleep at 10pm either because he was still frickin' here. He didn't finish the job so he has to come back again and it better not be past 6pm again.

Are you another version of me? My twin flame??? Do you have any idea how often I have thought it would be better to be a man in my next life???!!

It must be nice to be ugly/imperfect/fucked up and still expect pussy from hot women (not saying my husband is ugly, this is men in general...a solid 4 wanting a perfect 10 lol).

I hear you on the house. I have laundry to put away still, and a husband who was low-key bitching about it. I'm on my period so I am more exhausted than I would like to be right now.

OMG at the handyman. I would be so scared with them there past business hours (I mean I am glad you are fine; I do not trust people, esp. strange men).

JenniferNorth
11-04-2022, 12:49 PM
^ I would apply for both the city and county on his behalf .
Who really cares who fills out the paper work ? :)

Plus I think the full cop uniform is sexier than the security uniforms I typically see.

I think I will. Even if he doesn't want that county - yes, let's turn down a better paying job. :eyeroll:

Hahah yes, and maybe I should tell him he would get more pussy if he was in a sexier uniform?! Anything for sex lol

AChildOfBoredom
11-04-2022, 12:56 PM
Emotionally stunted men who think I’m out to be their therapist. Fuck off already. Especially if I don’t or barely know them. All I wanted was some help getting something off a high shelf at the grocery store because L wasn’t with me, not to form some sort of emotional bond. Hell really is other people.