View Full Version : hiding stripping after being open for 10 years..
charlie61
08-24-2021, 09:31 AM
edit: just re-read your post. IMO if you are an attractive female, you will get sexually harassed at any job, strip club or bottle girl or whatever. shoutout to every waitress job i had before stripping. i've been made uncomfortable by so many DJs and floor guys, managers at bars, retail. makes sense to get paid more even though there ain't no HR dpt at the spearmint rhino etc... i feel like girls start making good money, feel accepted, and the environment is more sexually oriented, so it's harder to distinguish friendly from creepy and unprofessional. creepy is creepy no matter what you are wearing or doing. However when it comes to vanilla work you can't just say fuck off and get a new job right away. It's all terrible. I'm rambling because this subject frustrates me to no end
I just corrected a major typo in my post - i meant I'm surprised to hear that women have experienced more harassment in vanilla work than in the club.
I've never worked in food service or anything. And i guess I'd consider any job in a strip club to be sex work, though maybe i shouldn't. I was referring to vanilla jobs as in vanilla corporate, like office jobs. Any mild sexual harassment I've experienced, I've reported it, and the situation was handled appropriately with zero retaliation. Totally hear that that's a certain environment that doesn't encompass all vanilla work, and that my experiences may be unique.
By contrast, in my experience, sexual harassment and assault in the club were nightly occurrences, basically just part of the job.
I'll stop threadjacking, sorry!
charlie61
09-02-2021, 01:25 PM
Any updates, OP?
Girl Anachronism
09-05-2021, 08:26 PM
Any updates, OP?
he dumped me for unrelated reasons. and i haven't had the balls to go back to the club yet because i am nervous as hell. i dug up all my old outfits and shoes and bag but keep chickening out- not because of him i just feel old and gross and out of shape and scared. i have a pole in my house and i can barely do anything anymore not that it really matters. i wish i could afford to get a spray tan and have my nails and hair done but i can't. i will be able to after a few nights of dancing i'm just being a pussy. i know i don't look that bad and am still very small but i was insecure even at 100lbs and very fit so this sucks. i'm probably like 110 now and a pasty gross person with shitty CVS makeup and my natural dark hair (was blonde with gorgeous highlights and long extensions, couldn't afford it anymore).
i start my new job in two days and camming has been pretty decent the last few shifts so that is also keeping me from going because i keep telling myself "well you made X ammount on cam and these two members want to schedule skypes so do you reeeeealllly need to dance, just wait one more day".
edit: just to add, for fun, a new stress on top of being dumped is that a family of raccoons is now living in the walls of my place and their rattling around at night is scary and making making my anxiety even worse. my roomates think its funny and the building won't do anything. i'm worried that being so depressed and stressed out and down on myself will show in my demeanor and i won't make money anyways so why bother. i never made money when i went to the club in a bad or sad mood....
charlie61
09-05-2021, 09:42 PM
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear it. I know dancing was always really hard for me when my personal life wasn't going well... I don't advocate for the "fuck men, get paid" mentality often, but perhaps you could try to use that angle to get inspired for club work.
Sending you good energy. Thank you for the update. I do think it could feel like a major win for you if you managed to get the confidence to work a shift, now that it's no longer a secret you're needing to keep. Overcoming that fear could help you move in a good direction. You're just diversifying your income streams. Rooting for you!
:hug:
BambiCutie
09-05-2021, 11:24 PM
Listen.. If he is not paying your bills and you are walking this path alone, then whatever you tell him is not going to benefit you in the long run.
The thing I have slowly learned about the majority of men is that they are uncomfortable with the idea of another man touching or seeing them intimately.
Unless that person is sacrificing apart of themselves for you, unless that person is asking for complete transparency and commitment, then you should do what is best for your survival.
I would personally break things off with them and have a long, calm discussion about what would be best for them in the long run, if this is truly something that is a deal breaker for them. (Prior to the relationship forming)
If they can come to the table and agree to compromise, then the relationship can continue, If not then you both know what is truly best. Regardless of how painful it may be to let the other go.
sasafras101
09-06-2021, 12:21 AM
Just wanted to say that I'm rooting for you!!! I'm so sorry to hear how it all played out.. maybe it was for the best on the bright side. He left you while you clearly need all the support you can get. It doesn't seem like it was meant to be. I hope you heal, and gain the courage to get back in the club! I'm sure you'll do great <3
Girl Anachronism
09-06-2021, 03:03 AM
thank you both. i am not sure what to do. i was already stressed and now i'm so sad, i'm completely heartbroken and hoping he changes his mind. i don't know if i'll have time to strip for a while because training for the new job is m-f for two weeks and you can't audition on weekends so i'm not sure what to do.
i don't feel confident enough to audition for night shift but i might try a more divey club to start instead, i don't know. i'm so sad about the breakup and why it happened. i didn't do anything wrong. i would have much rather been dumped for stripping and have the money if i'm going to lose him.
Luci Fer
09-06-2021, 03:21 AM
thank you both. i am not sure what to do. i was already stressed and now i'm so sad, i'm completely heartbroken and hoping he changes his mind. i don't know if i'll have time to strip for a while because training for the new job is m-f for two weeks and you can't audition on weekends so i'm not sure what to do.
i don't feel confident enough to audition for night shift but i might try a more divey club to start instead, i don't know. i'm so sad about the breakup and why it happened. i didn't do anything wrong. i would have much rather been dumped for stripping and have the money if i'm going to lose him.
Maybe it is a good moment for you to do as you wanted and planned to do. If he left you without any reason and didnot even care to take the moment and explain you - fuck this guy. (I apologize if it's too harsh.) Or, if you like him - fuck this guy temporary ;D Take your time, and enjoy your freedom, and your own decisions without his concerns and his restrictions. There will be the moment when you realize you don't feel heartbroken thinking about it, and it's 99% chance that this dude will appear again.
carmen_b
09-06-2021, 08:41 AM
^ Break ups are so hard, ugh !
If you decide to go back, you could always shower right after work one day and just go audition and work for maybe two hours ( then tell them you'll be back on the weekend ). Like .... make an evening of it and tell yourself " I'll just go make $50 " or something to keep expectations low and easy.
When I went back in 2019 after 5 years off I went back " rough " too haha. Like .... I think I was wearing winter boots with a heel because that was the only heel shoe I had and I forgot my thong the first night so wore bikini type undies. I like playing the " I'm new " game anyway. I'm sure they believed it that week lol ! The bottom line was that I wasn't going to spend a damn dime on shoes and outfits ( unless that $ was taken out of club earnings ) so just use whatever you've got !
Girl Anachronism
09-07-2021, 12:49 AM
yeah we will see how exhausted i am after my first training shift, they are 8 hours. i'll probably just keep camming in the evenings and once training is over i'll have time to audition whenever and probably more energy to actually make money without wearing myself out cause i'm old lol. when i was young i used to work at a hospital, a restaurant, partied a lot and STILL found time to strip and made great money. i could never do that now!!! i don't look 30 but damn do i feel like it