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carmen_b
08-28-2022, 11:59 AM
Tea + Tacos. Nice.
Movie probably up next.

carmen_b
08-28-2022, 01:31 PM
J ...... don't be greedy. Lol.
Stay on my good side.

Maybe he got excited about the hotel thing haha.
We had some sexy time on check in Thurs. ( duh who doesn't ) , then I told him if he did his errands that morning ( Fri. ) FAST and was back by Noon to expect more good times. He made it back . :)

We ended up crashing at his sisters Friday night ( BORING but we were only there 11p.m. - 7:30 a.m. ) and we had MORE fun upon getting back to our own place last night ( Sat. ) !

He is hinting around this morning ........ um ....... no.
It's self care today for me. Stay out of my way lol.
Unless I'm doing the math wrong you got something every day Thurs. - Sat. ! I have done my job and then some haha.

Dropping a hint today is bordering on distasteful ...... but I think he was just excited about the reconnection vibes.

miss.a.p1600
08-29-2022, 05:35 AM
I pretty much figured that me leaving pretty much the entire weekend would mean L’s kids would use the toilets, showers, sinks, etc and not clean them up because he thinks his “perfect angels” are “hardly” over enough to clean up.

Um NO SIR ….

I sent him a text and told him starting next weekend those kids WILL be cleaning up what they use. I don’t care if they’re there 24 hours or 24 days - I refuse to be doing any free janitorial labor for those lazy ass messy ass kids.

Clean up or stay at Berthas house.

Now I’m seeing just how much L was getting over in me knowing I like a clean house but all my free time should be going to him and his kids. No bitch. It shouldn’t take me working a job to make you respect my time boundaries and hold those kids accountable.

carmen_b
08-29-2022, 12:36 PM
J wanted me to ride over near the airport where his flight lesson is and near where my AirBnB is.
I made up a " fake " supply run that I need to pick up at 3 p.m. !
I really don't enjoy the school pick up thing ( wastes 30-40 min. )!
I am happy to let his daughter hang out in my air conditioned during the flight ( no AC in the small plane and holy fuck are afternoon flights miserable ) .
I'm NOT happy thought having just one car around 5 p.m. !
If there was just one car he would suggest I drive back from dinner I'm assuming. Nope.
Take your own car and if you fall asleep on me at 9p.m. ....... well ..... please just don't.
Knowing he can only have one drink ( driving own car ) to get back should help. :)

carmen_b
08-29-2022, 04:11 PM
Eh I am just having one of those days.
I felt like shit ALL day. This is day 2 of a period that was 4-5 days late.
I've taken 4 pregnancy tests at this point.

He scheduled a flight lesson for today 4-6 p.m.
I think I was actually hoping his flight would get cancelled for wind haha like the last two have and that we would just all go eat at 4:30.

I still had to work until 5 and brought his daughter back to the house with me.
She is doing pretty good. I told her at 5:15 we would go get something to eat.
I didn't give her any guidance on what to do in the empty hour ( 4:15 - 5:15 ).
I think it's important to be independent !

carmen_b
08-29-2022, 06:19 PM
I feel like I'm having severe anxiety around bedtime.
He got back from the lesson and they are doing their elaborate routine ( tv roughly 7-8 ).

I texted him something about if we are watching half of this movie we had said we were going to.
Basically I'm asking ..... am I getting an hour with you at 8:20 ish ? OR getting it cut short ? :/

Ever since that thing last week where he didn't even save 15-20 minutes for me I've been on high alert.

I really wish he would only be in her room 1-2 minutes around 8.
A nearly 10 year old does NOT need someone in there while falling asleep.
^ I haven't wanted to bring this up though.
I'm holding off on any chat about this stuff until at least a week or two out ( when more fully into the better school in session routine ).

carmen_b
08-30-2022, 09:43 AM
Omg I feel like I have had it.
I definitely don't want to be home the entire time 3-7 when they are wandering around.
I might delete this later haha.

It's need out of the house 2 hours in that range.
I just need to figure out what to do.

Got a massage !
Nice use of 3:15-4:25 !
I went to the nice place too not the cheaper school where you can hear other people. :)

carmen_b
08-30-2022, 05:56 PM
^ The night actually went ok.
He went and got some dinner for us.
That was really sweet.

He asked me to clean up ( after dinner ) and guess what ........
I mentioned it might be time for his nearly 10 year old to start scraping and rinsing her plate !
Stay tuned for news IF that went well or not lol !

I'm packing up for this trip.
I wish we had a full week at home and I'm bummed it can't just magically be 4-7 days more at home and then travel.

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 05:36 AM
^good.

Hopefully he will understand your perspective.

Unless he’s paying you to perform maid like duties, everyone (including the kids) should be cleaning after themselves. Your time is valuable and the more unpaid time you commit to housework - the easier it will be to squeeze 50% or more out of you.

I cleaned the bathroom floors a L himself pissed all over the floor (after I mopped it last night) because he claimed it was dark and hard to aim …… wtf?!? This is going to make me hate sharing bathroom with men. Anyways, I told him HE will be cleaning after himself from now on.

I also told him since we both working two jobs then his kids absolutely will be cleaning after themselves. Idgaf how short or long they’re there.

Ridiculous af your overgrown kids can’t complete simple ass chores.

Not today. They come over here they doing chores. Period!

smeca
08-31-2022, 06:49 AM
^yes. I was watching some housewife skills YouTube recently lol, about doing it all efficiently, and she said if the kid can walk the kid can carry their plate to the sink/dishwasher.

I chimed in the "tidy your room" argument by saying if she wants to keep it spider free it needs to get vacuumed regularly, but i won't vacuum in her room if the floor isn't clear

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 09:28 AM
Talking to L about his out-of-this-world expectations regarding me taking care of his kids while he’s at work, at the gym, or his ex wife is on vacation - is like talking to a stone wall.

Gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, and un-masculine behavior is what I’m seeing right now.

I also think he flat out LIED to me.

After I turned down his unreasonable request for his son to be over here full-time (allegedly only a month) - which I’d be stuck doing ALL the work for him and his ex wife - most likely with no compensation. He claims he didn’t know he’d be working TWO jobs until the day after he presented his horrible idea.

Lies. I think he was going to try to get me to agree to that mess (full custody of his son) then spring another mess (oh I’m at two jobs now so the work is all yours)

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 02:12 PM
^ If he is working two jobs he can definitely pay everything.
At that point you could offer him 7-10 hours during your business hours possibly.

I'm not sure my experiment worked.
I can definitely spare two windows per week that are 2-2.5 hours .

I tired experimenting with that ( giving about 2 hours M to F 9-5 which the window usually is 3-5 roughly ).
I can probably easily afford to continue doing so and *probably* will but I am not committing to it 100% of the time.

I also admit that I made a mistake. Remember I took my own car so he couldn't drink or take edibles ? I'm at my AirBnB and eager to LEAVE ( housekeeping had already come ). I forgot his flight was two hours . I sent a text last minute to see if he could take her with . THEN ..... I changed my mind like one minute later .
:/
So I think he was hurt a bit by that.
We talked it out and I admitted it was a flaw on my part.

I think for me the ideal is just to be fully left alone 9-5 M to F other than maybe one window ( for J ) like an hour in that range.

BUT ...... since he pays the full expenses here and 80% of food stuff also ......... I kind of do figure a couple 2-2.5 hours windows per week could be gracious on my part. I think not being *so* strict may help us but that is what I can do at this point. I'm trying to be fair but I also took a HUGE lifestyle compromise ( which balances if J is spoiling me ). Taking EXTRA time for his daughter ( just in family time ) is already giving more time than I am used to .

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 02:17 PM
It's hard to identify what he wants ( in a reasonable way ).
Like ..... if you gave three hours a week of all of you together and three hours to just the kids per week ...... is he comfy with that ?
It doesn't seem like he IS .
^ You guys are at odds. I would say from your posts I'm guessing that time is probably the most you want to give on average per week at this point . He simply won't accept that as an answer and then ends up always pushing. BUT .... if he really does have more to spend now maybe that could free up your time and get you guys closer to a compromise. Personally .... it seems like don't abandon your plan to get out.

I would just be CALM and FIRM with him ...... " I'm working extra hours so I have two hours this week for family time and 1-2 hours for your kids as solo time " or whatever YOU want to give. :)


Talking to L about his out-of-this-world expectations regarding me taking care of his kids while he’s at work, at the gym, or his ex wife is on vacation - is like talking to a stone wall.

Gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, and un-masculine behavior is what I’m seeing right now.

I also think he flat out LIED to me.

After I turned down his unreasonable request for his son to be over here full-time (allegedly only a month) - which I’d be stuck doing ALL the work for him and his ex wife - most likely with no compensation. He claims he didn’t know he’d be working TWO jobs until the day after he presented his horrible idea.

Lies. I think he was going to try to get me to agree to that mess (full custody of his son) then spring another mess (oh I’m at two jobs now so the work is all yours)

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 02:27 PM
Well ..... I can't snap my finger and just magically be home a full week.
If I could I would . I mean .... I can but then J is another city in a hotel by himself haha.

This upcoming week I am feeling a little frustrated with because it kind of feels like the " J show " around here. I know with couples this kind of energy comes and gos ( one persons interests may take A LOT of time a couple weeks and then the other gets a turn ).

It sort of feels like I'm just following him over to this city.
I keep going over the costs even though they are cheap lol ( $120 flight , $45 ish to park , $11 to take the train to hotel ) AND the time involved which is about 5 hours of travel time split between today and tomorrow and then on Sept. 5 it's another 5 hours ha ! Sometimes I just get OCD and really need to examine the costs and time ha. Anyway .... I'm joining and I'm SURE it will be fun when there but this is really HIS thing. It's a band he loves .

It's just something I'm noticing. I look forward to when we are more proactively planning some things TOGETHER because I have felt a bit like a shadow the last few days and probably will in the next 4-5 also.

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 02:57 PM
^ If he is working two jobs he can definitely pay everything.
At that point you could offer him 7-10 hours during your business hours possibly.

I'm not sure my experiment worked.
I can definitely spare two windows per week that are 2-2.5 hours .

I tired experimenting with that ( giving about 2 hours M to F 9-5 which the window usually is 3-5 roughly ).
I can probably easily afford to continue doing so and *probably* will but I am not committing to it 100% of the time.

I also admit that I made a mistake. So ...... remember I took my own car so he couldn't drink or take edibles ? Haha. So I'm at my AirBnB and eager to LEAVE it since housekeeping had already come through and I completely forgot his flight was two hours . I sent a text last minute to see if he could take her with . THEN ..... I changed my mind like one minute later . But the flaw had planted the seed that I really didn't want to do it. :/
So I think he was hurt a bit by that.
We talked it out and I admitted it was a flaw on my part.

I think for me the ideal is just to be fully left alone 9-5 M to F other than maybe one window ( for J ) like an hour in that range.

BUT ...... since he pays the full expenses here and 80% of food stuff also ......... I kind of do figure a couple 2-2.5 hours windows per week could be gracious on my part. I think not being *so* strict may help us but that is about it for what I can do at this point. I'm trying to be fair but I also took a HUGE lifestyle compromise ( which balances if J is spoiling me ).

HeÂ’s only taking the second job so he can pay his debt off (the debt he racked up with his ex wife).

It will also train him for the higher paying jobs (if he actually applies and takes them)

I honestly think he has some weird complex where he’s always made the same amount and used to barely coasting by and seeing his mom provide for him growing up so he’s not used to providing at a comfortable and larger scale.

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 03:00 PM
:( Aw ^^^

I think he *knows* ( but doesn't want to admit to himself ) that he needs to get you an allowance for more time offered.
I mean .... if he is HANDING you 1k a month even..... you could probably give an additional 8-10 hours a week to his kids.
$250 a week for example frees up a little time.

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:05 PM
It's hard to identify what he wants ( in a reasonable way ).
Like ..... if you gave three hours a week of all of you together and three hours to just the kids per week ...... is he comfy with that ?
It doesn't seem like he IS .
^ You guys are at odds. I would say from your posts I'm guessing that time is probably the most you want to give on average per week at this point . He simply won't accept that as an answer and then ends up always pushing. BUT .... if he really does have more to spend now maybe that could free up your time and get you guys closer to a compromise. Personally .... it seems like don't abandon your plan to get out.

I would just be CALM and FIRM with him ...... " I'm working extra hours so I have two hours this week for family time and 1-2 hours for your kids as solo time " or whatever YOU want to give. :)

well if I’m honest I haven’t given a ton of intensive time to his kids.

i did host a gathering at our house which I think counts because the kids entertained themselves with their cousins.

And I did offer to take his kids a few hours while L was at work but his ex wife declined because she didn’t want to drive to our house (mind you it’s less than 10 min)

im just not a big full time mother UNLESS I’m getting well compensated for it. Him being SLOW af to take these higher paying positions is starting to weigh on me and my decisions of how much time I want to give him

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:09 PM
Well ..... I can't snap my finger and just magically be home a full week.
If I could I would . I mean .... I can but then J is another city in a hotel by himself haha.

This upcoming week I am feeling a little frustrated with because it kind of feels like the " J show " around here. I know with couples this kind of energy comes and gos ( one persons interests may take A LOT of time a couple weeks and then the other gets a turn ).

It sort of feels like I'm just following him over to this city.
I keep going over the costs even though they are cheap lol ( $120 flight , $45 ish to park , $11 to take the train to hotel ) AND the time involved which is about 5 hours of travel time split between today and tomorrow and then on Sept. 5 it's another 5 hours ha ! Sometimes I just get OCD and really need to examine the costs and time ha. Anyway .... I'm joining and I'm SURE it will be fun when there but this is really HIS thing. It's a band he loves .

It's just something I'm noticing. I look forward to when we are more proactively planning some things TOGETHER because I have felt a bit like a shadow the last few days and probably will in the next 4-5 also.

if you feel that way perhaps there is something that’s still on his mind that hasn’t cleared the air? Or maybe he just wants a guys trip?

good thing y’all are planning time together when he returns

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:13 PM
:( Aw ^^^

I think he *knows* ( but doesn't want to admit to himself ) that he needs to get you an allowance for more time offered.
I mean .... if he is HANDING you 1k a month even..... you could probably give an additional 8-10 hours a week to his kids.
$250 a week for example frees up a little time.

Youre right. I want a man who UNDERSTANDS this.

L is acting clueless and idk if he was just raised wrong and never learned how to step into his masculinity or if he really thinks he can just bombard my time with his nonstop childcare requests that im
just supposed to love his “innocent angels” so much I’d want to take that on for free?!? Even Bertha won’t take that on free. She demands money from him every other day.

He’s seriously deluding himself.

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 03:14 PM
^ Oh I'm going. :)

Early in Aug. he flew to ANOTHER city to follow this band.
He is flying out today to get settled and then I'll join up tomorrow.

This city is a mountain city that I think will be a lot of fun and it's a nice hotel ( A Kimpton Monaco which I LOVE ).
I pretended not to know much about that hotel brand ( for his ego reasons ). I've done a few sexy trips to those before ..... shhhhhh ..... hahaha. I really love these hotels. I think I'm more excited about the stay at one than the overall activities haha.

We BOTH did not do well at all in Aug. when we only were together 15 days. Like .... shit was falling apart.
We are those types that need the physical life with our partner hahahah.

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:20 PM
It's hard to identify what he wants ( in a reasonable way ).
Like ..... if you gave three hours a week of all of you together and three hours to just the kids per week ...... is he comfy with that ?
It doesn't seem like he IS .
^ You guys are at odds. I would say from your posts I'm guessing that time is probably the most you want to give on average per week at this point . He simply won't accept that as an answer and then ends up always pushing. BUT .... if he really does have more to spend now maybe that could free up your time and get you guys closer to a compromise. Personally .... it seems like don't abandon your plan to get out.

I would just be CALM and FIRM with him ...... " I'm working extra hours so I have two hours this week for family time and 1-2 hours for your kids as solo time " or whatever YOU want to give. :)

I wish he’d be more understanding of this.

if I’m giving my time for free I should have the OPTION (not the obligation) to spend more than 1-2 hours a week.

he also shouldn’t expect to leave them at our house for hours on end while he’s at work. Or expect me to care for them (unless I volunteer) while he’s at work

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:21 PM
^ Oh I'm going. :)

Early in Aug. he flew to ANOTHER city to follow this band.
He is flying out today to get settled and then I'll join up tomorrow.

This city is a mountain city that I think will be a lot of fun and it's a nice hotel ( A Kimpton Monaco which I LOVE ).
I pretended not to know much about that hotel brand ( for his ego reasons ). I've done a few sexy trips to those before ..... shhhhhh ..... hahaha. I really love these hotels. I think I'm more excited about the stay at one than the overall activities haha.

We BOTH did not do well at all in Aug. when we only were together 15 days. Like .... shit was falling apart.
We are those types that need the physical life with our partner hahahah.

lol!

do what suits you.

L is the same way. I like my solo adventures but he’s the type that could literally do just about everything with their partner.

miss.a.p1600
08-31-2022, 03:25 PM
I can’t help but shake the feeling L (aka his ex wife) is going to blindside me with those kids at my house just as I’m getting set up working from home.

I just need 2-4 months to stack so I can upgrade but if I have to leave sooner (ex. He has any more childcare / financial crisis then I’m going to just leave and figure it out later.

I’m just going to fake it till I make it (leave)

carmen_b
08-31-2022, 03:26 PM
^ I think the " hour counting " can be hard on these guys.

But ..... having someone else in the house is not always pleasant.
So ..... a gesture of 1-2 hours is still a gesture.
I know personally I can't really be with J unless I'm giving like 4-5 hours of family time and maybe an hour solo to his daughter per week.
It can sometimes be stressful for me to give what I know are J's " comfortable time minimums " or whatever you'd call it !

He's happier when I give more but then I'M sometimes not happy and feel worn out.

Aurora_Sunset
09-02-2022, 08:31 AM
I think L brought a sick kid here. I should have re-uped my secret thc supply…..anyways

He claims his daughter stated she wasn’t feeling well at school and had a runny nose. I asked him what kind of medicine she needed and I expect her to sit down in her room if she is sick. If she’s all over the house I’m leaving before sunrise, wearing masks and spraying Lysol while I’m there.

Look. Mfs! If y’all don’t quit sending sick kids here……..If I get sick, y’all bitch asses WILL experience extreme unpleasantness indefinitely

Sorry he did that. Unfortunately, ex-Berthas don't care if their kids are sick. They'll still ship them off to whoever. Bio-mom will always still send them over when they're sick, saying "You still have to parent when they're sick." She doesn't give a fuck about protecting anyone else from their pathogens.

Aurora_Sunset
09-02-2022, 09:57 AM
Maybe I'm a dick, but I hid all my old sketchbooks after step-daughter found them at the end of the last weekend they were here. They're from when I took actual drawing lessons and classes, and have really nice pictures in there. She kept begging me to "teach her to draw like that." I kinda hemmed and hawed about it that day, and distracted her away from it by telling her we didn't have time that weekend. I'm hoping by hiding them and keeping them out of sight, she'll forget about it.

The thing is, I wouldn't mind teaching her, if she actually had the patience to learn. But she's ogling the kind of drawings that take hours for one picture, using different kinds of pencils, and being super precise with shading and details. She doesn't have the attention span for that right now. Trying to teach her is only going to be frustrating and annoying for both of us, so I'd rather she just forget about it for now. She's much better off watching Youtube videos that purposely show kids how to draw simple things. If she gets super into art a little later in age, I'm happy to get her into some real drawing classes. But I don't want her messing with my stuff now.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 10:21 AM
Sorry he did that. Unfortunately, ex-Berthas don't care if their kids are sick. They'll still ship them off to whoever. Bio-mom will always still send them over when they're sick, saying "You still have to parent when they're sick." She doesn't give a fuck about protecting anyone else from their pathogens.


Yeah fuck that! Explains why him and his ex wife acted like it was another day at the park like sending sick kids is the norm. Uh not today satan. Im going to book a room at a hotel and sent you and that bitch an invoice.

I told his ass multiple times.

“I had to take a second job. I don’t have any sick days and for 30 days they expect perfect attendance or I can get fired”

Like what part of this isn’t registering to this assholes? That kid will be fine if she sees him but doesn’t spend the night. I won’t be fine if I don’t have money cause this mf is barely providing and they’re both invading my wellness boundaries.

Now his son is sick. Said he can’t taste and probably has coronavirus. And begging to come over here.

so you can spread your pathogens over here?!? No ma’am!

boy if you don’t keep that kid at Berthas I will rage.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 10:30 AM
Maybe I'm a dick, but I hid all my old sketchbooks after step-daughter found them at the end of the last weekend they were here. They're from when I took actual drawing lessons and classes, and have really nice pictures in there. She kept begging me to "teach her to draw like that." I kinda hemmed and hawed about it that day, and distracted her away from it by telling her we didn't have time that weekend. I'm hoping by hiding them and keeping them out of sight, she'll forget about it.

The thing is, I wouldn't mind teaching her, if she actually had the patience to learn. But she's ogling the kind of drawings that take hours for one picture, using different kinds of pencils, and being super precise with shading and details. She doesn't have the attention span for that right now. Trying to teach her is only going to be frustrating and annoying for both of us, so I'd rather she just forget about it for now. She's much better off watching Youtube videos that purposely show kids how to draw simple things. If she gets super into art a little later in age, I'm happy to get her into some real drawing classes. But I don't want her messing with my stuff now.

Enroll her in a kiddie art class. Preferably one right after school. Save you some time and energy. You both get what you want

And you’re wise to put your art portfolio away so it doesn’t accidentally get destroyed

Aurora_Sunset
09-02-2022, 11:38 AM
Bio-mom was blowing my husband up all week about wanting to know if we could keep the kids on Labor Day. He told her he would check his work schedule and let her know. She kept harassing him every day...

I get that she didn't know we were out of town for a funeral (he hasn't told her about his dad passing away yet), but still... It's so obnoxious how she'll push for an answer like it's life or death, and it's just OBVIOUS that it's because she's trying to plan a vacation or something sans kids. Quite frankly, we never have the luxury of asking her if she'll keep the kids on days that aren't hers so that we can plan or extend a trip... So, I'm not chomping at the bit to make it easier for her to plan things during HER childcare time. For all I care, she can plan to be back on Sunday like she's supposed to, and if we decide to keep them last minute, she gets an extra "stay-cation" day at home and can sit down and be grateful for it. It's not our job to make her schedule easier. She would never reciprocate.

It's also annoying how she'll act all put out if we can't assure her of our schedule/plans a full week in advance, but she constantly changes things on us the day before.

carmen_b
09-02-2022, 02:05 PM
^ Let me assist with this :

“ No we can’t “

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 03:00 PM
^Let me assist ….

“Turns phone off for 24 hrs”

“Phone forwards to “Nannies R Us Hotline”” :D

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 03:02 PM
Yeah fuck that! Explains why him and his ex wife acted like it was another day at the park like sending sick kids is the norm. Uh not today satan. Im going to book a room at a hotel and sent you and that bitch an invoice.

I told his ass multiple times.

“I had to take a second job. I don’t have any sick days and for 30 days they expect perfect attendance or I can get fired”

Like what part of this isn’t registering to this assholes? That kid will be fine if she sees him but doesn’t spend the night. I won’t be fine if I don’t have money cause this mf is barely providing and they’re both invading my wellness boundaries.

Now his son is sick. Said he can’t taste and probably has coronavirus. And begging to come over here.

so you can spread your pathogens over here?!? No ma’am!

boy if you don’t keep that kid at Berthas I will rage.

Ls ex wife asking if he’s picking up the kids this weekend

Thank heavens he has some common sense (this weekend) to tell her NO!

He knows his son most likely has coronavirus (loss of taste) so why tf would this sociopath think it’s okay to pawn him off?!?

If you’re too sick to go to school you are too sick to enter this house.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 03:07 PM
Bio-mom was blowing my husband up all week about wanting to know if we could keep the kids on Labor Day. He told her he would check his work schedule and let her know. She kept harassing him every day...

I get that she didn't know we were out of town for a funeral (he hasn't told her about his dad passing away yet), but still... It's so obnoxious how she'll push for an answer like it's life or death, and it's just OBVIOUS that it's because she's trying to plan a vacation or something sans kids. Quite frankly, we never have the luxury of asking her if she'll keep the kids on days that aren't hers so that we can plan or extend a trip... So, I'm not chomping at the bit to make it easier for her to plan things during HER childcare time. For all I care, she can plan to be back on Sunday like she's supposed to, and if we decide to keep them last minute, she gets an extra "stay-cation" day at home and can sit down and be grateful for it. It's not our job to make her schedule easier. She would never reciprocate.

It's also annoying how she'll act all put out if we can't assure her of our schedule/plans a full week in advance, but she constantly changes things on us the day before.

Thats the thing that pisses me off about the Bertha broads.

Always expecting favors (usually last minute) and NEVER reciprocate.

I wish I could charge Bertha child support, back pay, and pain and suffering. And use her worn out vagina to give sexual favors for L when I don’t feel like dealing with any of these fools.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 03:16 PM
When L reminded me he has to deal with Bertha another 8 LONG MF YEARS!!! I wanted to pack my bags up soon as he said it.

I wish I would have met him before Bertha or after his kids are grown and he’s more established career wise and not paying out child support.

I hate how these divorced dads act entitled knowing good and damn well they have hella baggage and need to compensate a lady for dealing with it all. And no. Dick does not count as compensation.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 03:21 PM
L up here praising Bertha talking about how “she has them all the time, cooks meals, etc”

Um the bitch has them after work 5:30 until 9 when they go to bed.

And they cook themselves pizza rolls and junk food.

The school raises those kids. And Tostinos feeds them.

So no that bitch does bare minimum to not have CPS called out.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 05:43 PM
I swear L is an idiot!

Agreeing to take sick kids when they should have stayed at their moms house. Now L is sick. I think he has coronavirus again because his daughter was sick, now his son is sick (no taste which is classic coronavirus symptom), and L himself is also sick.

I’m glad I avoided all their asses last weekend.

I’m quarantining myself from him.

miss.a.p1600
09-02-2022, 05:46 PM
Bio-mom was blowing my husband up all week about wanting to know if we could keep the kids on Labor Day. He told her he would check his work schedule and let her know. She kept harassing him every day...

I get that she didn't know we were out of town for a funeral (he hasn't told her about his dad passing away yet), but still... It's so obnoxious how she'll push for an answer like it's life or death, and it's just OBVIOUS that it's because she's trying to plan a vacation or something sans kids. Quite frankly, we never have the luxury of asking her if she'll keep the kids on days that aren't hers so that we can plan or extend a trip... So, I'm not chomping at the bit to make it easier for her to plan things during HER childcare time. For all I care, she can plan to be back on Sunday like she's supposed to, and if we decide to keep them last minute, she gets an extra "stay-cation" day at home and can sit down and be grateful for it. It's not our job to make her schedule easier. She would never reciprocate.

It's also annoying how she'll act all put out if we can't assure her of our schedule/plans a full week in advance, but she constantly changes things on us the day before.


When they blow up phones it means they’re desperate lol !

She better call uncle Bob, aunt Susan, cousin Pat, Brother Mike, or whoever.

Aurora_Sunset
09-05-2022, 07:16 AM
I turned my one night at a friend's place into 3 nights lol

I was just supposed to go over Friday evening, spend one night there, and then come back sometime on Saturday with the cats. I ended up leaving early this morning. And then I go to work in a couple hours.

I can tell my husband isn't... happy... about my decision to basically peace out all weekend, but I told my friend I just needed to decompress without kids around - no offense to them - but I can't just sit around in my stinky pajamas, not showering, day-drinking, and playing my silly video game all day with them here. But she and I can do that together, and pause a million times to rant/talk/discuss things. I needed that.

miss.a.p1600
09-05-2022, 08:57 AM
When a woman reaches her limit…

…I reached mine last weekend. I’m glad I exercised my option. Because I peaced out, enjoyed time with ladies and my extended family, celebrated my career success and womanhood, I am mentally and physically healthy while his kids and himself are battling contagious illnesses

carmen_b
09-06-2022, 09:55 AM
Have I mentioned a time or ten how wonderful school is ?

We are on the way back from a trip and got back late .... 1:15a.m. after flying / driving. My mind started to panic like " oh no she is showing up at 10:30 " without any solid recovery / work time for us . BUT ..... nope she is at school .
He will go get her at 3 p.m. ! Wonderful ! We have until then with a completely quiet house to catch up on things. :)

miss.a.p1600
09-06-2022, 11:31 AM
^its wonderful because it’s an automatic boundary that these divorced dads with kids, ex wives cannot push.

Ls kids were sick this past weekend so thankfully the universe gave me another break.

Yasss!!!

Hate that my breaks are when there’re sick but this pushy ass dude and his trifling ass ex wife give me no break so the universe always provides.

carmen_b
09-06-2022, 04:48 PM
It's actually feels a little challenging today.
It is really hard I think not to have a full day at the house after traveling and we NEVER get that because of the custody thing.
It's ok. It shows we are making the most of the time we have BUT I feel so tired today.

My airBnB guests left like 30 mini pizza doughs in the fridge. They are so cute.
He got toppings and we made some of those today.

But I'm exhausted now so I'm either hiding upstairs temporarily or ( most likely ) for the rest of the night and it's only 5:47 .
:/

I'm debating going to a movie at 6:10 because I know it's triggering for J if I hide upstairs.
I am really tired.

Edit : It was actually decent !
I napped upstairs a bit and then we started the movie Marcel in a Shell with Shoes On.
I LOVE it so far ! I'm glad he came up to invite me to watch the movie. I still find that 7-8 p.m. time at the house annoying at times ( they hog the best TV during that time ). It might be a good hack to watch something with them like 50% of the time.

miss.a.p1600
09-07-2022, 11:52 AM
^if you need more of a break I hope he lets you have your peace in the room upstairs

I’ve thought about this myself how (now that I’m working 2+ jobs) I’m gonna be a bit more hardcore about wanting my free time off from kid obligations

If he wants to obligate himself fine but done expect me to obligate myself on MY off days. It’s my right, my choice what I want to do with my time off

miss.a.p1600
09-08-2022, 04:29 PM
The cool thing about my new position is it’s an automatic boundary these mfs cannot encroach on.

Can’t ask me to pick up his kids from school, can’t ask me for any favors (taking him to doctor appointments etc), can’t expect me to spend oodles of time laying around the house with him/his kids, etc.

A lot of his previous expectations on MY time are gone.

I’ve cut out the long daily chit chats and ignored him during my off time so I can self-care. I’ve set the expectation I only have ONE day a week off (so I have a reason to give less time)

I’m NEVER telling dudes (especially the closet 50/50, slick misogynistic, etc) that I’m self employed again. These assholes do not respect your time if they think there is no one to fire you.

And he better not dare assume that since I’m working two jobs he can ask me to pay more financially. That’s how dudes get cheated on.

carmen_b
09-09-2022, 03:51 PM
RIGHT ? I looovveeee that.

Haha. It's why I often fib a little about my job ( it has a ton of flex ) when I'm getting to know a guy.
I don't want a guy who needs me during business hours even if I *can* swing it.

I've been self employed forever ...... 17-18 years I'd say and I often fib because people just can not seem to respect time and it isn't fair when you are trying to hustle and sometimes DO need the time !

miss.a.p1600
09-09-2022, 04:06 PM
^but when you live in same place AND work from home…..it gets harder to fib. I HAD to lie to L.

And don’t have an inquisitive dude cause then he will try and figure it out

If it didn’t seem like I was meeting with clients or rolling in dough, he’d assume I wasn’t working and thus could help him take care of his kids.

Like bruh! If I worked but didnt close any deals (therefore no money) wtf makes you think I’m going to work for you/Bertha/your kids (and not make any money). No ma’am!

Reminds me of when I worked in corporate I had to hide from my manager cause if it looked like I wasn’t working, they’d assume I was available and try n add more tasks.

carmen_b
09-09-2022, 04:21 PM
^ It seems to be working for now. Like .... those hours are what sticks. Don't ask for anything in them.
Simple.

carmen_b
09-09-2022, 04:23 PM
We had a good talk.

He is a little pouty and I think he's dissatisfied about a couple things .
Maybe it's somewhat accurate ( I probably could help around the house a bit more ).

We are kind of trying to create happier movement forward.
I feel like a lot was said !

I did end up mentioned my biggest annoyance ( that he is in the room after 8:10 just watching or waiting for her to fall asleep ).
THIS is fucking weird ! She's 10 next week. Let this kid grow up ! Weirdo ! So on my side that was said haha !

miss.a.p1600
09-09-2022, 05:06 PM
^at least you got it off your chest.

I agree with you.

Elaborate, read stories till you fall asleep, night time routine is typically for little kids like under the age of 5 in my opinion

Some parents (especially if they have only one child) are like “well billy Bob is going to be out of the house before I know or so I will “coddle” him for as long as possible so we can enjoy childhood as long as possible”

Not my style but eh! What can ya do? I wonder what J was thinking when you brought up your opinion

carmen_b
09-09-2022, 06:33 PM
I was proud !
He didn’t get overly defensive.

He did say he was there to see what time she actually feel asleep.
Uh..., excuse city lol .

But the Mom has been saying she doesn’t sleep well at her place ?