View Full Version : The Step Parent Corner …… rant, brag, shine, or cry here
miss.a.p1600
10-23-2022, 09:34 AM
Well. I’m 100% certain I don’t want to do the kid thing anymore. Like there is NO weekend without those kids and I want to reclaim my peaceful weekends in my home.
Bertha should be taking care of her damn kids on certain holidays. Most divorced parents get times where they have kid free breaks and this dude does not.
Anyways I’m leaving shortly after they get here and spending my weekend off how I see fit - ALONE without him and his obnoxious kids.
Turning off location to search for new places, refill edibles, and hopefully he will be too busy with those kids to notice
carmen_b
10-23-2022, 10:09 AM
^ Have fun while out !
I mean ....since you don't really care what he thinks in the long term I wouldn't really give them a lot of time either.
If he presses just stay calm and say " Well their visit is FOR YOU as the parent not for me " .
miss.a.p1600
10-23-2022, 11:46 AM
^thank goodness he took them OUT so I’m catching up on beauty rest and enjoying my peace and quiet
If he has unlimited parenting time every damn weekend at least he is starting to get a clue and take them somewhere vs lingering at this house disturbing my peace
Aurora_Sunset
10-23-2022, 02:23 PM
A lot of my family is coming to town in 2 weeks (my parents, sister, aunt, and uncle), and they want to meet the kids.
I've been trying to come up with a way, but it's honestly just getting stressful, and I'd rather not mess with the whole thing.
My parents have met the kids once, when they helped us move a few years ago, but no one else has, and that wasn't a lot of "quality" time. My mom and sister specifically asked me about it back in January, because they would like to be more involved but don't know what the boundaries are.
I initially said I think bio-mom would want to meet them if they were to try to have a real relationship with the kids. At this point, I honestly don't know if that's a requirement. Idk. My original plan was to have the kids and bio-mom meet us out somewhere one night for dinner so everyone could meet. But then my sister said, "Do you really want HER at your birthday dinner?" Like, no.... but ya'll were the ones asking me about if you were gonna get to meet/see the kids that weekend, sooo....
Even taking that out of the equation, I thought it would be relatively easy to pull off with the kids joining us for dinner one night - but now my husband is on night shift, working all that weekend. We could do lunch with them, but that would involve him driving a ton, back and forth to pick them up/drop them off, after working all night and needing to go back to work that same night. He said he would do it anyway, but ehhh...
My other thing, I just don't think they'll be well-behaved. I can already imagine my husband going to get them for just an afternoon, out eating with my family, and them whining about the fact that they're not at our place, sitting on their butts in front of the TV. I can also see stepson throwing a huge fit that it's just for the afternoon and he's not staying overnight or the whole weekend. And then I can just see bio-mom asking if they can stay the night, which, sorry, I'm not doing when I'm trying to party with my family for my birthday, and my husband isn't even there. Plus, we're all staying in a VRBO. I'm not bringing them back to the apartment just because they're bored somewhere else with us, no game consoles or toys.
I can also just imagine it not being some super interactive meeting, just from the level that the kids are suddenly going to be introduced to this huge group of people that they don't know, in a setting where there's nothing for them to do but eat and talk to these people they've never met - I didn't even meet them under those circumstances. It's best to have kids meet new adults in places where they can go off and play if they want, like a park or something.
Personally, I just see them not wanting to talk to anyone, complaining about being bored, demanding a screen in front of their faces at all time, and stepson having a tantrum about wanting to be at home playing video games and not wanting to go back to his mom's after only leaving for a few hours. Shit's just going to be embarrassing. I really don't think my husband realizes how much I cringe thinking about taking those kids anywhere or introducing them to people I know because of how fucking BADLY they misbehave in public and how EMBARRASSING it is. There's a reason we don't take them places anymore... and it's not just money. I get anxiety thinking about taking them out in public with their behavior.
Aurora_Sunset
10-23-2022, 02:39 PM
To be fair, in regards to stepson's behavior specifically, my husband did finally tell me that he talked with bio-mom and they agree they need to start actually disciplining him more.
He's almost 11 and throws tantrums like a 3 year old. He's incredibly disrespectful when he doesn't get his way. He doesn't follow any boundaries and always thinks he can get away with it.
It was one of those moments where I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOREVER, but he just HAD to get to this "realization" on his own. He did tell bio-mom that I had been telling him this for awhile, and that it was on him that wasn't enforcing things over here.
They both agreed that he's a big kid, and if they don't get him under control now, he's just gonna be a huge teenager that no one can control. I hope he actually starts following through on this.
Aurora_Sunset
10-23-2022, 03:27 PM
Bio-mom just tried texting my husband that the bag that she always sends over here smells like cat piss and she had to throw some of their stuff away.
Bitch, get bent. That bag's been at HER house for a week now. If it actually smells like cat piss (which, who knows, there's a 90% chance she's just lying), did it ever occur to her that HER cats could've done it?
She also is trying to claim that the kids' Halloween costumes (which we're paying for this year) got "lost in the mail" through Amazon. Well, then you better bug Amazon for a refund so you can re-order, cunt. Cuz we're not paying twice because "they got lost."
It's like, because the insurance issue got resolved, she has nothing to bitch about anymore so she has to find something and find some way to try to squeeze money out of us. She's probably mad that she knows my husband is making more money now but she doesn't see any. She's also mad that he didn't agree to start having them for mid-week visits again now that he's on his rotating shift. It's just illogical with our distance right now. So, she's gotta find something to fuck with us or make us look like shit. It is her way. She can't just be a normal, decent human being for too long. We HAVE to be doing something wrong, and we aren't allowed to get ahead in life.
miss.a.p1600
10-23-2022, 03:30 PM
A lot of my family is coming to town in 2 weeks (my parents, sister, aunt, and uncle), and they want to meet the kids.
I've been trying to come up with a way, but it's honestly just getting stressful, and I'd rather not mess with the whole thing.
My parents have met the kids once, when they helped us move a few years ago, but no one else has, and that wasn't a lot of "quality" time. My mom and sister specifically asked me about it back in January, because they would like to be more involved but don't know what the boundaries are.
I initially said I think bio-mom would want to meet them if they were to try to have a real relationship with the kids. At this point, I honestly don't know if that's a requirement. Idk. My original plan was to have the kids and bio-mom meet us out somewhere one night for dinner so everyone could meet. But then my sister said, "Do you really want HER at your birthday dinner?" Like, no.... but ya'll were the ones asking me about if you were gonna get to meet/see the kids that weekend, sooo....
Even taking that out of the equation, I thought it would be relatively easy to pull off with the kids joining us for dinner one night - but now my husband is on night shift, working all that weekend. We could do lunch with them, but that would involve him driving a ton, back and forth to pick them up/drop them off, after working all night and needing to go back to work that same night. He said he would do it anyway, but ehhh...
My other thing, I just don't think they'll be well-behaved. I can already imagine my husband going to get them for just an afternoon, out eating with my family, and them whining about the fact that they're not at our place, sitting on their butts in front of the TV. I can also see stepson throwing a huge fit that it's just for the afternoon and he's not staying overnight or the whole weekend. And then I can just see bio-mom asking if they can stay the night, which, sorry, I'm not doing when I'm trying to party with my family for my birthday, and my husband isn't even there. Plus, we're all staying in a VRBO. I'm not bringing them back to the apartment just because they're bored somewhere else with us, no game consoles or toys.
I can also just imagine it not being some super interactive meeting, just from the level that the kids are suddenly going to be introduced to this huge group of people that they don't know, in a setting where there's nothing for them to do but eat and talk to these people they've never met - I didn't even meet them under those circumstances. It's best to have kids meet new adults in places where they can go off and play if they want, like a park or something.
Personally, I just see them not wanting to talk to anyone, complaining about being bored, demanding a screen in front of their faces at all time, and stepson having a tantrum about wanting to be at home playing video games and not wanting to go back to his mom's after only leaving for a few hours. Shit's just going to be embarrassing. I really don't think my husband realizes how much I cringe thinking about taking those kids anywhere or introducing them to people I know because of how fucking BADLY they misbehave in public and how EMBARRASSING it is. There's a reason we don't take them places anymore... and it's not just money. I get anxiety thinking about taking them out in public with their behavior.
I think that’s sweet you want to introduce them to your family.
Back in my days we’d get tore up with belts etc death glares and threats to our lives if we act up especially in public. These kids nowadays have it too easy lol.
does the daughter act up? I’d take her since she behaves well and spin it as a girls day out.
no I don’t think the bio mom needs to be involved she seems a bit neurotic and immature At the current time maybe later down the road when she can get herself together and gain some emotional intelligence
miss.a.p1600
10-23-2022, 03:33 PM
Bio-mom just tried texting my husband that the bag that she always sends over here smells like cat piss and she had to throw some of their stuff away.
Bitch, get bent. That bag's been at HER house for a week now. If it actually smells like cat piss (which, who knows, there's a 90% chance she's just lying), did it ever occur to her that HER cats could've done it?
She also is trying to claim that the kids' Halloween costumes (which we're paying for this year) got "lost in the mail" through Amazon. Well, then you better bug Amazon for a refund so you can re-order, cunt. Cuz we're not paying twice because "they got lost."
It's like, because the insurance issue got resolved, she has nothing to bitch about anymore so she has to find something and find some way to try to squeeze money out of us. She's probably mad that she knows my husband is making more money now but she doesn't see any. She's also mad that he didn't agree to start having them for mid-week visits again now that he's on his rotating shift. It's just illogical with our distance right now. So, she's gotta find something to fuck with us or make us look like shit. It is her way. She can't just be a normal, decent human being for too long. We HAVE to be doing something wrong, and we aren't allowed to get ahead in life.
women like her make coparenting with kids seem like a prison sentence in the sense that dealing with her is probably annoying, something you’d rather not do, yet have to do it anyways for many years.
hopefully she gets herself together as she ages and matures.
miss.a.p1600
10-23-2022, 03:38 PM
This is the LONGEST few hours these kids are here and he really should be taking them back before dark vs “maximizing” his time.
Didnt Berthas house damn near get shot up? So why tf are you and Bertha so damn selfish that your kids safety isn’t a priority?
Im going to start cleaning up and vacuuming around them. Put on my night clothes and face mask, and starting my wind down routine so he will get a clue.
EDIT- Territory invaders have finally left. Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with that and reclaiming my space and my peace.
smeca
10-25-2022, 01:36 PM
So we've finally discovered a little more, the rules for what food step daughter does and doesn't like are related to mouth-feel haha (idk I'd that's a real term since I heard it on Brooklyn 99 lol).
Bfs friend invited us fishing today, we stopped by for a few hours and she enjoyed it, held up 3 fish.
I'm exhausted from driving, drove bf to hospital first, he's got one arm in a sling atm so I've done it all plus helping him dress and all the general work. We just had oven pizzas for dinner but I asked them to tidy up so I could go to bed early, proud of myself for delegating.
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 01:38 PM
^ I just can NOT deal with food pickiness.
I'd make one thing and step away ha.
I didn't want to " pick " about things but I was discreetly keeping track and I think J's daughter had something negative to say about the food ( which was always fine ) like 3 times out of the last 3. That did NOT fly in my house growing up.
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 01:46 PM
Well I'd say this is day 2-3 of real freedom ( I wouldn't really count all my stuff at J's and that stress freedom OR the moving process like the travel day ).
I'm liking it.
miss.a.p1600
10-25-2022, 02:55 PM
^ I just can NOT deal with food pickiness.
I'd make one thing and step away ha.
I didn't want to " pick " about things but I was discreetly keeping track and I think J's daughter had something negative to say about the food ( which was always fine ) like 3 times out of the last 3. That did NOT fly in my house growing up.
Exactly. My mom was like “look here mf you’re gonna eat EVERYTHING or you will sit at the table until
its done” … my punishment was sitting at the table till I ate. I snuck and threw it away but that’s beside the point. At least there was some consequence. Kids today are soft af.
Ls kids are the epitome of picky. I don’t even bother anymore. His daughter is a little more open minded but his son is a waste of money trying to get him to try new things.
Sadly L will breathe down his kids neck watching them and be like “ you don’t like that do you?” So he sort of feeds into it.
i almost think they get a thrill out of rejecting foods and putting themselves on the “I’m too good for that food” pedestal
I used to feel guilty for not inviting those kids to fine dining outings but last thing I want to do is ruin MY experience cause those kids are gonna be a hassle.
Give those kids the cheap junk Bertha and L have gotten them accustomed to. They’ll probably have high blood pressure and diabetes type 2. Oh well not my problem.
Staci
10-25-2022, 03:01 PM
^ I just can NOT deal with food pickiness.
I'd make one thing and step away ha.
I didn't want to " pick " about things but I was discreetly keeping track and I think J's daughter had something negative to say about the food ( which was always fine ) like 3 times out of the last 3. That did NOT fly in my house growing up.
I can't say much - I've always been a picky eater. But the option I was given growing up was to eat whatever my mother made or have a PB&J sandwich.
I ate a LOT of those sandwiches! LOL
miss.a.p1600
10-25-2022, 03:02 PM
So we've finally discovered a little more, the rules for what food step daughter does and doesn't like are related to mouth-feel haha (idk I'd that's a real term since I heard it on Brooklyn 99 lol).
Bfs friend invited us fishing today, we stopped by for a few hours and she enjoyed it, held up 3 fish.
I'm exhausted from driving, drove bf to hospital first, he's got one arm in a sling atm so I've done it all plus helping him dress and all the general work. We just had oven pizzas for dinner but I asked them to tidy up so I could go to bed early, proud of myself for delegating.
Score for delegation!
Everyone loves pizza so can’t lose with that
That’s cool everyone enjoyed the fishing
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 03:06 PM
Exactly. Every house should have a NO NEGATIVE COMMENT policy. Not big on it ? Make yourself something like the pbandj or cereal. Saying NOTHING is a completely fine option. You like it ? Then say you like it !
I can't say much - I've always been a picky eater. But the option I was given growing up was to eat whatever my mother made or have a PB&J sandwich.
I ate a LOT of those sandwiches! LOL
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 03:07 PM
I think I told you about when I had told J around a two months ago that she NEEDED to scrape her own plate.
DISGUSTING . Like .... leaving half eaten food out at nearly 10 years old ? Who the hell does this ? lol
My Mom would have DIED in embarrassment if we did something like that.
chanzep
10-25-2022, 03:32 PM
These kids today are so spoiled . I had to eat whatever was served and washup. We didn't have a dishwasher everyone did back then. Not scraping plates at 10!. That would drive me nuts.
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 04:12 PM
Not a DAMN thing wrong with PBandJ !
I've had them for lunch the last 2-3 days.
have a PB&J sandwich.
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 04:13 PM
Yeah I really made an effort not to " pick " since I've been picked at before but on that debate I think she was 9 and 10 months and I'm like "
If she doesn't do this I will leave the plate for you AND not cook for a week ".
He actually didn't argue with me.
He told me he would have her do it starting the next day and he did.
Not scraping plates at 10!. That would drive me nuts.
carmen_b
10-25-2022, 04:15 PM
Yes, J's rule was " set the plate by the sink " .
How about this ?
Scrape the plate so NO ONE other than you sees half eaten food. Disgusting !
THEN rinse the plate.
THEN put in dish washer !
My sisters almost 6 year old does this ( seriously ) with a step stool .
These kids today are so spoiled . I had to eat whatever was served and washup. We didn't have a dishwasher everyone did back then. Not scraping plates at 10!. That would drive me nuts.
chanzep
10-25-2022, 04:21 PM
Right me and my cousins were in the kitchen at a young age cleaning up after ourselves.
smeca
10-26-2022, 12:04 AM
Yeah we still just cooking what we do usually, but it's helpful to start to know why chicken one way is great and inedible another. Like we had roast pork rolls when we were out, but she didn't touch the roast pork at dinner. So the next night using the same pork i put her portion in a slice of bread and she ate it all :,)
The negative comments really piss me off, or they did sunday bc i was soo tired. They stress me out in general. I think it's kinda common (?) for kids to be quite negative, like laughing at others mishaps, and they're noticing and questioning things but in a "well that's STUPID isn't it why didn't they do it like this" way. Idk there just so much combative energy. idk how to remain chill all the time myself. I feel like this is hard when it's not your kid/thrown in at the deep end with an already half grown person
Aurora_Sunset
10-26-2022, 09:50 AM
I really wish my husband hadn't told bio-mom that we would move closer when our lease is up in January. Getting a rental house was an idea I brought up a few months ago, that I thought we could look into more and talk about as the end of the year got closer. But it wasn't supposed to be set in stone. I figured we would take a closer look at our finances and decide if it was worth it to pay more for a rental house, or if we should suck it up and renew here one more year to pack away money in savings to buy a house in another year. If all our extra income goes to higher rent instead of savings, how will we ever get out from under a rental? But he got so caught up and excited about the idea of getting out of here and bein closer to the kids that, like 2 days later, he ran off and ran his mouth to bio-mom, telling her that we were moving in January and would be closer to them again.
That was before his dad died and threw off both of our finances. That was before I needed to get a new car with a hefty payment that I haven't fully been able to catch up with yet. At this point, we'll be lucky to scrape together moving expenses, and have absolutely no cushion to ease into higher rent. If he hadn't already flapped his gums to her, I would be trying to convince him that we can tough it out here one more year for the sake of getting our finances right. He's the kind of person who gets a bill down or starts making more money, and instantly lifestyle creeps his way into spending more instead of seeing it as an opportunity to save so we can actually get ahead instead of just barely paying bills forever.
I'm honestly pretty upset about this now. But I've brought it up a few times - how he shouldn't have involved her in the conversation before we'd talked more; how it was annoying that he just decided that this was what HE wanted to do and therefore assumed there was no more discussion to be had - but there's not much to be done about it now. He's said sorry, but that doesn't change the fact that we either have to move or a spend an entire year listening to her bitch about us 'lying' and demanding that he start mid-week visits again from a completely nonsensical distance away.
carmen_b
10-26-2022, 10:27 AM
This woman from another support group I am in was saying something like she suspects it's hard because she didn't meet them as babies ( like with her niece and nephew. So when you meet them later ( like age 8-13 ) it seems like they are " faking " helplessness a lot .
I think there is something to her theory for sure. She mentioned not having those early years may be a reason it is hard to bond also.
I mean .... my relationship imploded already lol but I was just a hair away from telling J I wasn't going to eat with them anymore if he couldn't get his kid to not stick her fingers in her mouth ( braces .... I know .... they are a pain ) OR stop the negative commentary. I DO deserve to eat meals in peace. I didn't throw down that hard line but I was getting very close.
In my own family I made the same boundaries. My brother is such a dumb ass on a subject. He has the WORST step son. The WORST. You name it and this kid is hitting the high end of obnoxious every time. I told my own family if he didn't stop screaming at the table and indoors when I was there that I wouldn't ever be there and would just see family members separately from him. I said that about 4 years ago when he was 8 or so.
The negative comments really piss me off, or they did sunday bc i was soo tired. They stress me out in general. I think it's kinda common (?) for kids to be quite negative, like laughing at others mishaps, and they're noticing and questioning things but in a "well that's STUPID isn't it why didn't they do it like this" way. Idk there just so much combative energy
miss.a.p1600
10-26-2022, 10:43 AM
This woman from another support group I am in was saying something like she suspects it's hard because she didn't meet them as babies ( like with her niece and nephew. So when you meet them later ( like age 8-13 ) it seems like they are " faking " helplessness a lot .
I think there is something to her theory for sure. She mentioned not having those early years may be a reason it is hard to bond also.
I mean .... my relationship imploded already lol but I was just a hair away from telling J I wasn't going to eat with them anymore if he couldn't get his kid to not stick her fingers in her mouth ( braces .... I know .... they are a pain ) OR stop the negative commentary. I DO deserve to eat meals in peace. I didn't throw down that hard line but I was getting very close.
In my own family I made the same boundaries. My brother is such a dumb ass on a subject. He has the WORST step son. The WORST. You name it and this kid is hitting the high end of obnoxious every time. I told my own family if he didn't stop screaming at the table and indoors when I was there that I wouldn't ever be there and would just see family members separately from him. I said that about 4 years ago when he was 8 or so.
I agree
i think stepparenting is better if the kids are infants (you can help raise and guide them and less friction with the kid accepting your authority) or older teens (they’re on their way out the door n off the payroll)
These divorced dads with kids have to understand they have to compromise on child rearing cause if certain behavior is occurring in my home I’m going to regulate or disappear on your ass n let you deal with that or just leave for good
It’s enough dealing with mens annoying quirks and I don’t want to have more of my peace taken away bc those kids are just as annoying. With kids at least they can be properly trained while they’re young whereas it’s really hard to teach the old dogs new tricks.
smeca
10-26-2022, 11:07 AM
Yeah, i mean i don't have the time or energy for a really little kid lol, but I imagine you learn and become somewhat immune to the kind of things they do and say when they're more obviously in early development stages/helpless.
carmen_b
10-28-2022, 07:47 PM
It has been approximately 21 days since I have thrown up in my mouth a little watching my partner hover and over baby.
21 nausea free days lol
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 12:19 PM
^youre lucky. I’m over here plotting on how I can get away from his kids today.
First of all he tried to cuddle with me as I’m trying to wake up and start my day. I don’t like cuddling especially in early am when I’m trying to get OUT of bed.
Well I could feel his penis throbbing so I instantly got out of the bed and he’s like “oh you got up cause I’m trying to lay on you and cuddle”
Um nah bruh I see through your thinly veiled attempt at sex and I decline.
Then about 30 mins later he’s like “my kids are coming over today”
I had to do my best to contain my disdain for the Territory invasion about to ensue and the typical last minute reminder.
THEN he’s like. “Im gonna see if their mom can bring them early”
Um where did I agree to have those loud ass kids in my peaceful space early? Not my fault you work late and they live in the hood. Drive your bitch ass to the hood and pick them up AFTER work or I’m leaving right before they get here, turning off all the lights, and they can stay here alone at night while you’re at work.
It’s better to take your scary ass to the hood to go get them (while their with their mother at her house) than it is to have them here alone at night.
These people are really dumb
And since I wasn’t consulted on the decision to have them come early, I’m leaving out before they get here.
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 12:23 PM
Now he’s asking me to call him.
NO!!!!
If it’s related to last minute childcare “crisis” then I’m locking the doors and hitting ignore on my phone.
carmen_b
10-29-2022, 12:47 PM
^ I'm actually right there with ya today.
My brothers loud stepson showed up ( funny how my mom and dad have him quite often and not my brother on his Sat. morning through Sun evening visit ) . My brother has his OWN home that he could be at. I bounced.
I'm at starbucks now.
Why my brother never taught him to speak at a normal level indoors ..... well I couldn't tell you.
I was SO eager to get out when I started hearing him that I forgot my purse !
I had like $15 in the car so got $10 in gas and my starbucks drink. I still want a movie probably. I have to return for the purse ! I figure this drink bought me at least an hour here though lol .
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 03:56 PM
^ I'm actually right there with ya today.
My brothers loud stepson showed up ( funny how my mom and dad have him quite often and not my brother on his Sat. morning through Sun evening visit ) . My brother has his OWN home that he could be at. I bounced.
I'm at starbucks now.
Why my brother never taught him to speak at a normal level indoors ..... well I couldn't tell you.
I was SO eager to get out when I started hearing him that I forgot my purse !
I had like $15 in the car so got $10 in gas and my starbucks drink. I still want a movie probably. I have to return for the purse ! I figure this drink bought me at least an hour here though lol .
LOL @ leaving your purse cause you hightailed it out of there
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 04:01 PM
Now he’s asking me to call him.
NO!!!!
If it’s related to last minute childcare “crisis” then I’m locking the doors and hitting ignore on my phone.
He’s been blowing up my phone.
I’ve been ignoring cause I know his ass is going to ask me for some sort of sacrifice for him and his kids.
Not gonna do it.
Especially since I wasn’t consulted and his little plan was sprung on me last minute.
Sorry but you need to drive your ass and go pick those kids up AFTER you get off work and if you’re too scared to go into the hood at dark then you need to help that bitch move or go pick them up in the morning on Sunday.
I’m not dealing with you or Bertha or your obnoxious kids one second earlier than I need to.
chanzep
10-29-2022, 04:25 PM
Don't blame you if he has a child emergency he should call Bertha or her family members. I hope you have a peaceful day away from them.
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 04:32 PM
Don't blame you if he has a child emergency he should call Bertha or her family members. I hope you have a peaceful day away from them.
Thank you girl!
Bertha refused to do any driving - that bitch is trifling as hell lol
so L had to ask his manager to leave earlier so his scary ass could go pick up his kids in the hood before it got too late
my blood pressure is rising knowing they’ll be here in 30 min or so.
On the bright side I’ll be leaving early am to go to sporting events and hang out with family in the ritzy part of town and by the time I get back those kids will be gone from the house.
chanzep
10-29-2022, 06:11 PM
That's ridiculous him and her.
miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 06:55 PM
^theyre both really stupid.
I feel a slight twinge of guilt because his daughter wants to hang out with me but I know the events I’m going to are going to bore tf out of her cause she’s a younger kid so I had to fake offer to take her along but I’m knowing good and well it’s going to be a disaster if she actually comes along.
I don’t want to hear “I’m bored” “I’m tired” “can we leave now” so I’m going to let L enjoy his parenting time HE desperately chose to have and he can figure out how to entertain BOTH of his kids by himself. Lol!!!!
I’ll be out enjoy my peace
Aurora_Sunset
11-01-2022, 08:37 AM
Ugh, trick-or-treating last night.
Like, I 50/50 blame this dick neighbor and my stepson.
Stepson's costume was a Nirvana shirt and a mask with a similar "Nirvana face" on it that lit up, light up gloves, and light up shoelaces. But he wasn't wearing them lit up early on because it was still light out. They went to the people right next door to their grandparents - people who know them - and they were doing this shit where they were making everyone say what they were and explain their costumes before they could get candy. He didn't know what to say, because the costume didn't really have a "name." So, he just kinda shrugged and pointed out the mask that he was wearing on top of his head at that point because it was hard to see out of. The guy was a total dick, and basically told him that he didn't have a costume so he couldn't get candy. So, first of all, what the fuck. It's Halloween. Give kids candy. They shouldn't have to put on a dog-and-pony show for you while you withhold the candy if they don't meet your standards.
Stepson, understandably got upset and embarrassed. He just kinda walked away at that point, went back to the house, and went into a shut-down attitude of "Oh well. I'm done. Nope. No, I don't want to go out again. No."
Then, a fire truck was coming down the street, stopping occasionally to give groups of kids candy. My husband encouraged him to go down there, but he refused to actually walk down the street. He just kept standing in the driveway, insisting that they weren't coming and they weren't going to stop for him. We kept telling him to GO to the truck if he wanted something, and he refused, cuz he was in punk-kid mode. When the truck started coming again, we kept telling him "Go down there, flag them down," and he just stood awkwardly by himself up in the driveway. Well, of course they didn't stop, because they didn't know what he was doing, and it didn't make sense that he had stood up there by himself waiting when they were literally 2 houses down a couple minutes ago, and he didn't make an effort to go to them. So, they drove past. He got super upset, started yelling at us "SEE! I TOLD YOU!" We were like, "Well, you had to go down there so they could see you." He threw his bag at us, screamed "FUCK YOU!" and ran inside.
By the time my husband had a talk with him and he came back out to apologize to everyone, he said that what really set him off originally was the dick neighbor. Which I completely understand and told him that. But, at the same time, he needs to learn that when something upsets or frustrates him, that he needs to come to us and TELL us that something is upsetting him - not shut down, act like a jerk, and then finally explode on people who didn't do anything. I know a lot of it is an autism thing, and he's back in therapy for it, but this shit needs to end soon.
it's honestly frustrating, because as much as I want to smack him, I also know that a lot of his inability to deal with awkward social situations and regulate emotions is an autism thing, in addition to ADHD and dyslexia. He's being physically bulled at school (I don't know if I've posted about that before). And he told my husband last night that his teachers make him feel bad at school because they basically treat him like he's an idiot due to his learning disabilities. He's not stupid, and he would be fine if he worked with people who know how to teach coping mechanisms to kids with these neurodivergent attributes. But he's not getting that at school, and now it's being compounded by kids treating him badly. He's not a "bad" kid - maybe spoiled in some ways that my husband needs to do a better job with - but these breakdowns and outbursts would not be a thing if he was getting the support he needs from his educators and a GOOD therapist. I have no idea how his therapists work with him, because bio-mom puts him in therapy occasionally but I've never seen it do much. I hope she's shopping around....
I really do feel bad that this kid is not getting the help he needs to deal with his legitimate mental differences and I don't want him to grow up to be a jerk because he's just unhappy with himself and never learned how to manage anything.
carmen_b
11-01-2022, 08:53 AM
^ Aw. What a weirdo that guy withholding the candy.
It reminds me of those strip clubs guys who are like " oh just sit with me for 10 songs then I'll buy a dance ".
Gross.
It could be a good moment to teach the son to walk away if someone is being difficult !
We CAN simply walk away and the walk proves a point !
There's more candy out there dude, go GET IT from someone who isn't being high maintenance.
carmen_b
11-01-2022, 09:03 AM
^ I hope the therapist can work with him and show him that the meltdowns are " showing " your cards .
You don't need to show other people than hand you are holding. Does the son play poker at all ? ha
miss.a.p1600
11-02-2022, 04:47 AM
Well that sucks for him. The guy should have given him candy - it’s Halloween after all and like you say they shouldn’t have to give full monologues n shit to get some cheap candy.
Hope your husband and the ex wife can figure a way to find some helpful people to work with him to help him cope with difficult situations
miss.a.p1600
11-02-2022, 04:48 AM
^ Aw. What a weirdo that guy withholding the candy.
It reminds me of those strip clubs guys who are like " oh just sit with me for 10 songs then I'll buy a dance ".
Gross.
It could be a good moment to teach the son to walk away if someone is being difficult !
We CAN simply walk away and the walk proves a point !
There's more candy out there dude, go GET IT from someone who isn't being high maintenance.
or the sc men who wave $1 then are like “you gone work for
this dollar”
um the hell am I mf you can keep that crusty dollar while I ignore tf out of you
kimbe
11-03-2022, 12:05 AM
T's daughter wants me to ask her father for financial support for breast implants.. Honestly, I don't want to be involved in those decisions and I told her I think it's better she talks to him herself. She wasn't pleased with the answer. (If she's getting a BA, I'll be happy to give advice, but don't involve me in the decision making process and financial part.)
miss.a.p1600
11-03-2022, 07:44 PM
So the dude sits here and “debates” on how “crime happens everywhere” and trying to justify and hunker down on his ridiculous beliefs.
I throw in how his dumb ass is scared to go pick up his kids at night, scared to let those kids walk to the bus stop and the school that’s in walking distance.
Then was like “you don’t care about my kids because if you did youd let them come live with us”
Um excuse me!
THAT bitch chose to move your kids to the hood and you did not object. I’m not about to disrupt my peace dealing with some loud ass lazy kids on a daily basis unless I am being HEAVILY compensated.
I flat out told him if I have to do his ex wife’s job that bitch needs to pay me child support. I ain’t doing that shit for free. Got me all the way fucked up.
Shit I’d rather go be single then take in some random foster kids than deal with L and his kids daily. At least the state is paying and not expecting free childcare AND free on demand sex.
If you (or Bertha) ain’t paying…..those kids ain’t stayin!
JenniferNorth
11-04-2022, 05:18 AM
Miss P, I am offended on your behalf!
You don't care about his kids....so much to unpack!!!!
One, it's not your job. If he's worried about those kids, he should sack up and fix the problem, right? Two, he needs to come at Bertha for moving them to the hood!! Why in God's name would anyone voluntarily move to a shitty area??? I've lived in one, and I would never, EVER do it again. When we moved to the hood, we found our our next door neighbor was a pedophile. So yeah, never again.
L thinks redirecting these problems toward you will make it your fault, be he is the one who needed to fix them.
carmen_b
11-04-2022, 07:40 AM
^ When she leaves L can do whatever he feels is best such as even moving Berth in !
Then they can run around doing last minute schedules ect. and live their DREAMS !
miss.a.p1600
11-04-2022, 11:11 AM
Miss P, I am offended on your behalf!
You don't care about his kids....so much to unpack!!!!
One, it's not your job. If he's worried about those kids, he should sack up and fix the problem, right? Two, he needs to come at Bertha for moving them to the hood!! Why in God's name would anyone voluntarily move to a shitty area??? I've lived in one, and I would never, EVER do it again. When we moved to the hood, we found our our next door neighbor was a pedophile. So yeah, never again.
L thinks redirecting these problems toward you will make it your fault, be he is the one who needed to fix them.
Thats exactly what I was thinking. I guess I challenged his fragile male ego and struck a nerve.
Like those kids safety is primarily her responsibility and if she can’t hack it then pay me and I will take over and do a MUCH better job.
He’s slick mad because he realizes HE should have been had a higher paying job, helped her out better with child support, and then rode tf out of her to get her act together for the sake of those kids.
i think she purposely moved to the hood so he’d have sympathy for her then swoop in like a white knight and rescue those kids (and her by default). But since I’m here he can’t solve her problems that she can solve herself because I won’t let him.
The solution is not uprooting those kids n letting them live here every single time there is a problem.
^ When she leaves L can do whatever he feels is best such as even moving Berth in !
Then they can run around doing last minute schedules ect. and live their DREAMS !
Yes. Girl. This mf needs to just be a full time dad and be single.
He clings to those kids and coddles tf out of them. He completely lied about only having them part time because he cannot accept letting those kids mother take care of them.
Not my fault and I’m not going to be punished for these peoples past mistakes n fuckups.
JenniferNorth
11-04-2022, 12:42 PM
The sooner you are out of there, the better. I empathize with you so much because although I haven't had the "dude and his kids " situation, I have been in similar predicaments myself.
Bertha doesn't care about her own children, or she wouldn't live in such a bad area.
Why does L need to give her a break from parenting on the weekends and all? He has them every weekend, but she doesn't need a break....those kids are mostly in school when with her.
The nonsense of letting them stay up until 10:30 at night (it isn't summer anymore) and not finding activities or programs for those kids to build skills and make friends. They are gonna grow up so dependent on their parents it won't be funny.
I find it very annoying/upsetting that these two people fucked their lives up with all this bullshit, and they wanna drag an innocent bystander into the mess (that being you).
miss.a.p1600
11-05-2022, 11:22 AM
^i never had a “dude and his situation” before this and it was a terrible idea because I knew I didn’t like men who had little kids and ex wives but I went against my reasonable expectations and here I am ranting every weekend.
I think dating divorced men with kids is WAY worse than dating divorced women with kids.
NEVER AGAIN!!!!
Anyways I FINALLY procured at storage unit and ….. thank goodness this mf understands the assignment today (off 4 days and only agreed to get his obnoxious lazy kids 1 night/1 day)
Unfortunately those kids are so damn clingy they’re constantly blowing up his phone hounding him to hurry up and get them.
I can’t stand how his dumb ass tells his kid (and ex wife by proxy) his every move and every off day. Those kids don’t need to know his days off. All they need to know is when he is going to pick them up.
I think he gets a thrill out of them nonstop asking and begging him to pick them up.
Anyways I am looking forward to the day I don’t have to have anyone in my space unless *I* want them there.
carmen_b
11-05-2022, 11:35 AM
Miss P :
She probably didn't intentionally move to the hood but just went with the cheapest option.
Like you said .... IF he would have been a little more organized he could have give you both a little more.
Safety factor for the kids plus offering you a small allowance would have had you giving a lot more time.
It's his own fault basically for not making more.