View Full Version : The Step Parent Corner …… rant, brag, shine, or cry here
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 02:29 PM
There's also just too much about him that hits too close to home ( which I was *trying* to let slide per say ).
He didn't disclose having a child on the app ( which I feel is dishonest ) . He did mention it within first few messages but I was " casting my net " per say for kid free.
A very successful guy ( he has the same job title as J ) who is " not sure " about me just hits a little too much below the belt if that makes sense AND feels like a gross deja-vu. Give me the ENTHUSIASTIC about me guy. I will rock THAT guys world.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 02:31 PM
I guess the jackass thought having his son here disrupting my peace during my workday so he can fill his damn twice a week childcare obligation quota while HE is at work not even filling said quota himself is enraging me to the point of no return.
Cuntwad thinks this was a good idea to have new years together
At this point I would rather lie and come up with some excuse to ditch him/ and his ball and chains and head to sugar daddy headquarters WITHOUT him this weekend because he is too dumb to get a clue and constantly operating with his ex wife and kids in mind. Just fuck me and my ideas and my needs.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 02:32 PM
Aurora :
I think so too. Maybe it's something I could ask about.
I do have detailed context.
He describes the marriage as sex starved ( like not even twice a month ) and with the helicopter parenting she wouldn't keep kids out of the bed / wouldn't set aside time for him in evening.
He told her he couldn't do it anymore ( 14-16 months ago ) .
Then they " tried " to work on it.
She couldn't envision staying together ( I imagine in part to him saying HE couldn't see it ).
That's the context.
When my 7 year partner wouldn't travel with me and do the digital nomad life / expat thing I started to not " see " a future for us. Then HE gave up on ME in Aug. 2018. So I have seen this pattern.
Girl I’m barely touching this dude twice a month.
Maybe if most of these men weren’t so self centered and stupid they’d probably get more action
She probably wouldn’t keep kids out of bed so the dude wouldn’t expect sex every night.
Who wants mundane routine “I’m drained at the end of the day after working and taking care of kids” half effort sex?
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 02:32 PM
^ Wait I'm confused.
Did he drag them over when he typically has only weekends ?
Send them back.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 02:37 PM
There's also just too much about him that hits too close to home ( which I was *trying* to let slide per say ).
He didn't disclose having a child on the app ( which I feel is dishonest ) . He did mention it within first few messages but I was " casting my net " per say for kid free.
Because most dudes (unless they’re earning multiple six figs or more) with kids are pretty much worse than regular dudes. They’re more delusional, have less resources, and know they’re less attractive due to their baggage.
I’d hide that too if I was a dude.
If I were you I’d go kid free with my options.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 02:37 PM
Oh I have no doubt she most likely has her version of how this WAS this way and why.
I find that men leave out details. Like J saying I was bad with him the last few months for *sometimes * wanting twice a week sex instead of 3 times ...... well ..... those were the months you were just acting totally out there and mean.
Girl I’m barely touching this dude twice a month.
Maybe if most of these men weren’t so self centered and stupid they’d probably get more action
She probably wouldn’t keep kids out of bed so the dude wouldn’t expect sex every night.
Who wants mundane routine “I’m drained at the end of the day after working and taking care of kids” half effort sex?
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 02:40 PM
Oh , actually ( and not to take his side ) but I think I see what he did. He took them mid week so you guys could have weekend as couples time given the holiday.
Unless I'm looking at it wrong.
It looks like he TRIED to create a weekend with you.
He just doesn't know ( yet ) that you don't want the couples time lol.
Cuntwad thinks this was a good idea to have new years together
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 02:46 PM
^ Wait I'm confused.
Did he drag them over when he typically has only weekends ?
Send them back.
I wish. But I guess if the dude wants to enjoy parenting on every holiday. Whatever I’m gonna do me.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 03:19 PM
^ How will you handle the weekend ?
If the kids are not there he will think it's romance time considering your time off into the equation also.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 04:27 PM
Oh , actually ( and not to take his side ) but I think I see what he did. He took them mid week so you guys could have weekend as couples time given the holiday.
Unless I'm looking at it wrong.
It looks like he TRIED to create a weekend with you.
He just doesn't know ( yet ) that you don't want the couples time lol.
I wouldn’t mind the couples time if I felt like I was a partner and if he would act like he has some sense and acts like he was when we were dating and halfway trying to please me
I guess Im struggling (been struggling) with the ex wife and kids obligations he has.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 07:24 PM
I’m just going to tell him to plan a new years date with his son and ex wife while I go hit the town.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 07:48 PM
^ So if they are there FOUR days this week ( while you bail on the weekend ) can they skip next week entirely ?
Sorry I'm just feeling so snooty currently.
This triggers my ptsd from J ha.
I'd probably say you JUST rsvp's with the girls for both days ( since he changed the plans ).
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 08:11 PM
^yeah ….
Come get ya kid Bertha!
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 08:46 PM
^ I'd probably be picky about it too, ha.
Like .... you gave the two days.
Then just don't ask for more. Simple and Easy.
miss.a.p1600
12-29-2022, 10:28 PM
^EXACTLY!!!!
Im having a hard time keeping my mouth shut.
If ya wanna act like you have no home training then go do that crap at Berthas house.
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 08:50 AM
Pitfalls of dealing with single dads
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/6o0502/what_are_the_pitfallsdownsides_to_dating_single
Unfortunately I’m feeling every bit of this rn
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 09:00 AM
Oh , actually ( and not to take his side ) but I think I see what he did. He took them mid week so you guys could have weekend as couples time given the holiday.
Unless I'm looking at it wrong.
It looks like he TRIED to create a weekend with you.
He just doesn't know ( yet ) that you don't want the couples time lol.
Yeah half assed tried then failed when his dumb ass *asked* Bertha if he could bring his son back on Saturday (after his son was already here. Like why this fool doesn’t agree to the drop offs BEFORE pickup) and she said she was “busy”
Hoe come get yo kid before I call CPS
carmen_b
12-30-2022, 09:04 AM
^ Well I sure don't need to open the link as I could write my own novel about it, ha.
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 11:20 AM
^Hahaha the link might cause people with freedom ptsd so yeah don’t open it may remind you of the last dude
Now L
Is completely gaslighting me and denying he said this
BITCH! I will mollywop tf out of you! Keep playing.
This is why your ass rarely gets sex.
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 11:23 AM
^im going to start covertly recording him since he has “amnesia” and trying to test me.
carmen_b
12-30-2022, 12:30 PM
^ I did open it and could have written the upvoted post myself ( by Rox something ) lol
trauma city !
carmen_b
12-30-2022, 12:32 PM
^ I'm not sure what to advise for your weekend.
I mean .... if you've just HAD IT already with the two days you already gave ...... I feel that.
On the other hand, kids are off on these school breaks and more needy in these weeks , ugh.
You might have to strike a compromise like maybe they can be there ONE day if L take them out half the day ( at least 5 hours out ).
Hell .... I might even say I had sexy time in mind.
I'd rather suck a dick than listen to kids in the house.
We are talking 5 minutes v.s. 6-8 hours of noise lol.
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 01:06 PM
^ the quote of the decade
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 08:09 PM
Okay my patience is slightly returning.
Here is a more balanced approach to dating single dads
https://anydayguide.com/post/248
miss.a.p1600
12-31-2022, 08:43 AM
I’m done holding my tongue with L’s lazy ass loud ass son.
Told dude upfront if he comes over here he will clean after himself AND stfu and be quiet especially at night.
L is holding him accountable to the best of his ability and I will be overseeing the cleaning because I don’t trust him to lie and say he cleaned knowing L won’t check. You can pull the wool over your passive parenting style dad but ya can’t pull the wool over mine cause I’ll be damned if my money is going to you and you’re lying to my face.
Not today satan!
miss.a.p1600
12-31-2022, 08:46 AM
I can’t wait till his son is gone back to Bertha. TODAY!!!
L not having food planned and making it more expensive and time consuming (i gotta sit here and either buy food for him, make food for him, or help him make it himself….) and triggering me to tell L I don’t want his kid here while he’s at work unless he has a meal prep so I’m not having to be responsible for his kid when I don’t want to be.
I want to exert the least amount of effort into some kids I’m not getting paid to take care of nor did I agree to host.
carmen_b
12-31-2022, 09:47 AM
^ I'm glad J was always on it with food.
I think it became quite apparent to him that I wasn't doing much ( cooking once maybe during his kids visit and I'd often cook twice during adults only time ). Beyond that ..... there is cereal around. There is granola / bagles / fruit to grab. You are 10 so should KNOW how to make eggs and toast and other simple things. J is the one indulging stupid behaviors ( pretending to not know how to make ramen ) ect . ! Learn self sufficiency NOW . The time is NOW.
carmen_b
12-31-2022, 09:49 AM
But hey .... if I'm seeing your message right .... he IS giving you the holiday weekend fully off ! That's nice.
carmen_b
12-31-2022, 09:50 AM
I should get on there and tell everyone it's not worth it even when your partner makes great money lol.
Okay my patience is slightly returning.
Here is a more balanced approach to dating single dads
https://anydayguide.com/post/248
miss.a.p1600
12-31-2022, 03:43 PM
^ I'm glad J was always on it with food.
I think it became quite apparent to him that I wasn't doing much ( cooking once maybe during his kids visit and I'd often cook twice during adults only time ). Beyond that ..... there is cereal around. There is granola / bagles / fruit to grab. You are 10 so should KNOW how to make eggs and toast and other simple things. J is the one indulging stupid behaviors ( pretending to not know how to make ramen ) ect . ! Learn self sufficiency NOW . The time is NOW.
Agreed! If I had a biological son. He’d be independent n self-sufficient for his age. L coddles tf out of his son and it irks me to no end.
Anywho
L bought his son dinner last night and today.
I text him this am like “yo bruh, the kid good? Cereal there!”
Then he was calling me like “is my son up?”
Shit idk. If he ain’t set an alarm (like most responsible teens) and y’all trained him to sleep all day then that’s what ima let him do…..sleep all day
then he can stay up all night …. At BERTHAS
My 3 day forced obligation is OVER!!! I don’t want any last minute days added on or any guilt trips for sending him back to where he belongs. With his mother.
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2023, 10:03 AM
So miraculously L agreed to leave his kids with their mother on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day
I agreed to allow him to hang out with me for yesterday. Then when we left he said his car was filthy and didn’t want to drive so I was instantly pissed.
Then he realized he left his phone and I was like “nope we’re not turning around, if you weren’t to busy trying to make me feel masculine driving your ass around anytime we go out then you would have remembered it, and were already late to where we need to be”
One of the major problems I have with this dude is he is completely co-dependent/enmeshed with his kids to the point I think is beyond healthy.
So this morning this fool plays a message of his daughter crying.
Of course I’m triggered bc I hate hearing kids whining and crying to dumb reasons.
His stupid ass, instead of telling his daughter “hey I have a life and I’m not able to text you hourly 24/7 and if you don’t hear from me do not panic unless it’s past 24hrs” this weirdo is replaying the message and being like “awwww”
Um no that’s gross and disturbing
I really don’t care to hear your daughter crying over something YOU could have told her to expect (don’t worry unless you haven’t heard from me in 24hrs)
I know the kid is young but she is fully capable of understanding 24 hrs concept because I heard her complaining one time “dang we can’t even stay over this house longer than 24 hrs”.
And if he doesn’t expect her to wait then he should tell her if she is really concerned she could have called her aunt who she begs to spend the night over sometimes. But she knew not to call because she knew it was not that serious but didn’t mind playing the role and crying so he’d call faster.
Anyways. Just a reminder of how I don’t want to deal with men with little kids. Can’t even go out with a kid crying and shit (making this dude feel even more guilty for spending ONE damn holiday as adults without the nuances of whiny codependent kids)
Totally all his fault.
carmen_b
01-02-2023, 10:49 AM
Ew.
He never should have subjected you to the crying vid.
He could have just taken a couple minutes to discreetly call her and run through what the problem was ( if there was one ) and that they could talk about it when he saw her next .
Always ptsd city in this thread.
I remember J using the baby monitor ( seriously ) when his daughter was 8 and if she cried at all while falling asleep he would panic and jump up and go in there. Ugh.
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2023, 02:44 PM
^yeah i think he keeps doing this to test to see if I have empathy for her
I have a hard time feeling empathy for something I think he could have prevented. Totally crying blowing his phone up unnecessarily
Then his remedy for something like that in the future?!?…….give his kids my number
Why so they can blow me tf up unnecessarily then you get mad if I appropriately ignore non-stop, whiny, manipulation tactics.
I think is appropriate to just tell them “I will talk to you tomorrow/10 pm today/ or whatever so do not concern yourself unless you don’t hear from me for more than 24 hrs”
This also made me realize it’s really clingy those kids can’t go less than 1/3 of the day without blowing him up. Like don’t they have friends family or something to do?!?
The mom and brother were just letting her sit there crying and panic (if she really was worried n not just testing to see how fast she can get him to call or text her back)
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2023, 02:45 PM
Ew.
He never should have subjected you to the crying vid.
He could have just taken a couple minutes to discreetly call her and run through what the problem was ( if there was one ) and that they could talk about it when he saw her next .
Always ptsd city in this thread.
I remember J using the baby monitor ( seriously ) when his daughter was 8 and if she cried at all while falling asleep he would panic and jump up and go in there. Ugh.
Lol!!!
Inappropriate Parental Clingfest = always brings out the PTSD in normal people
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2023, 02:48 PM
It’s a miracle L took his kids to Berthas house New Year’s Eve and day as well as today
I heard his son asking to come over here, asking L if he was off work and L admitting he was off (idiot), and all I could think in the back of my head was “NOOO!!!!”
I’ve already met my 3 day a week BEYOND MAXIMUM threshold dealing with his son
Aurora_Sunset
01-02-2023, 02:58 PM
Bio-mom sent us a group text about the fact that we missed stepson's IEP meeting today.
I don't know why she's including me in this - it's not like she ever invited me to it lol
I also specifically remember my husband telling me it was on Jan. 6th, not today. Maybe he got the date wrong when he was telling me about it. But that was literally WEEKS ago. And not a single reminder text since then?
Granted, it's not her to job to remind him incessantly, but if it's been over a month since you talked about it, maybe a quick text the day before or even this morning, saying, "hey, remember the meeting is at such and such time." I'm sure the school was sending her reminder texts about it! I think she didn't say anything deliberately just so he would forget and she could bitch about it.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 05:34 AM
Every weekend feels like a battle for this house.
This weekend.
It’s coronavirus city.
And guess where this fool, his desperate lazy ex wife, and his clingy kids will be despite my desires to stay their ass OUT or with Bertha……..inside this house………..$&@%*!!!!!
I’m tired of the weekly battle (and losing every time because these people are too stupid to get a clue)- I’m moving more stuff into storage. Don’t even care if he sees. Just gonna lie and say I’m donating to goodwill or something then turn my location off.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 07:37 AM
This dudes kids are just as annoying as he is.
The will blow his phone up at all hours of the day just to ask the dumbest questions
No boundaries and so inappropriate
carmen_b
01-07-2023, 07:39 AM
^ Isn't it ok though in a way for them to be there some of weekend ?
It is his two agreed on parenting days .
Just more providing perspective that it sounds like he didn't pester you Mon - Thurs which is what you asked for.
Total agreement though in getting your stuff moving to a storage spot !
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:04 AM
^thats what he’s thinking. He gave me Monday - Thursday without forcing the “let my kids stay at our house with you (during their winter break) while I work” agenda so I’ll give those kids and ex what they want (FREE-FOR-ALL kid obligation weekend PLUS coronavirus aka “it’s just the sniffles” so my kids can come over and spread it around further)
I just don’t want his kids creating more work for me to do nor do I want them roaming all over this house, spreading it, then their trifling mother refusing to take them back (or L wasting time running all over the city for them) if they happen to get sick over here.
I’m moreso thinking his two parenting days can be done OUT somewhere. Like where does it say in the parenting manual that they HAVE to spend overnights for the time to count? Do they need to see him (even if it’s out somewhere) or do they need to see this house?
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:17 AM
It is also pissing me off that he is piss poor at scheduling his kids around his work schedule
I’m going out of town next weekend.
And he works a full weekend next weekend.
So rather than work a full weekend THIS weekend while coronavirus is in this house. Then have them next weekend. His ass backwards rationale will have this a full house while corona is here too then have an empty house while I’m out of town.
I think his bitch ass is purposely doing this shit to continuously force his kid agenda. He knows ima be out of town and would rather annoy tf out of me by sticking his obnoxious pathogen spreaders here this weekend cause he don’t want to be stuck alone one weekend taking care of them by himself like the “good dad” he claims to be.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:20 AM
Pussy locking down for another 2+ weeks.
Let ya kids and ex wife guilt trip, manipulate, and pressure you ……. See what happens.
Pussy likes peace not pathogens and pressure.
carmen_b
01-07-2023, 09:05 AM
^ I hope it's not Corona.
My great fear was also that J's daughter would get in at our place and couldn't go back for 9-10 days lol.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 09:17 AM
^coronavirus is here this weekend. And this fool is importing his pathogen spreaders into this house (overnight) and probably going to make it worse.
I hate them all
Yeah I was clear that I didn’t want those kids in this house, figured his dumb ass would do it anyways (one of the main reasons why I’m leaving his ass and his baggage), so I told him I do not want them roaming all over the house and spreading it
And I hope I was CRYSTAL CLEAR that I absolutely refuse to take them longer than 2 days or help them recover if they get sick here.
I might need to repeat myself so this asshat will understand in his thick skull
EDIT - I had to reiterate myself. And told him again if he brings his kids in this house and they get sick I am NOT responsible; he also said he was only going to bring his daughter over and not his son. Thank goodness! I’d rather they BOTH stay with their mother. I hate when he splits them up thinking it will be easier but it’s still an obligation here regardless if it’s one or two of them.
carmen_b
01-07-2023, 09:36 AM
Is it actually Corona though ?
Now that I work with kids sometimes I realized I need the flu shot and 2nd booster for Corona .
I need to try to get those shots asap.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 09:37 AM
^ I hope it's not Corona.
My great fear was also that J's daughter would get in at our place and couldn't go back for 9-10 days lol.
Id hate that too!
Dudes would be helicoptering even more plus you’d get roped in too (cause these mf act like they can’t hack it as single parents and need a woman to help them) and probably get sick from kid pathogens
The joys of step parenting lol
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 09:40 AM
Is it actually Corona though ?
Now that I work with kids sometimes I realized I need the flu shot and 2nd booster for Corona .
I need to try to get those shots asap.
yeah it’s coronavirus
took two home tests and they’re positive.
get your boosters then keep your guard UP.
LOTS of people out here with “oh it’s just allergies/sinus/sniffles” then breathing all into your face n spreading their COVID pathogens. You’re most vulnerable right after the vaccine before your body has a chance to build up immunity to whatever new strain is out there
carmen_b
01-07-2023, 09:55 AM
Ah damn.
Can you vacate to cheap hotel for a few days ?
Lower the risk ?
Aurora_Sunset
01-07-2023, 08:18 PM
Omg, I absolutely hate my stepson this weekend.
If this is a preview of his teenage years, count me out.
miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:26 PM
Ah damn.
Can you vacate to cheap hotel for a few days ?
Lower the risk ?
Thankfully one of his kids is staying with their mother (both of them should have stayed)
I pay too many bills as it is so if anyone vacating it will be the non-bill payers aka those kids. I get it’s his parenting time this weekend but he could have spent time with them OUT of this house. Him and Bertha are just too dumb to figure out cheap all day kid entertainment and love hassling tf out of me.