Log in

View Full Version : The Step Parent Corner …… rant, brag, shine, or cry here



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 [31] 32 33

miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:37 PM
Omg, I absolutely hate my stepson this weekend.

If this is a preview of his teenage years, count me out.

It’s a preview IF his dad don’t check him right now while he’s young.

If you pay bills, and you reach a level where you’re tired, then you should check him if his dad won’t

I’m sorry but I’m not about to help a dude and he imports kids into my peaceful abode and won’t his check his kids shitty behavior. No ma’am go back n stay with your mother if ya want to act a fool!

Even if you don’t pay household bills, it’s still your house and kids have to respect you/your rules in your house/your presence.

Ex. L let his son game ALL fucking day and night AND he talks really loud the entire time. Teen boys have the most awkward sounding voice. I told L before his son came over during my work week I was NOT going to have him talking all loud while gaming. And his son is the type where you can tell him be quiet and five minutes later he will be right back to loud. So that day I had no chill. I made L sit near his room so he can witness the noise. Then later that day, the moment I told L his son was loud he text him from work and told him to stfu. He was quiet as a church mouse for 2 hours. Then went back to talking loud as shit again but this time it was 11pm and I was FED TF UP! I police knocked his door and told him to mute the damn game AND I called L and told him I enforced a boundary and I expected it to be upheld and if he ain’t holding his son accountable then I will!!!

The teen years are better cause the kids are more independent, most of the time they will have a car/friends/places to go and not up your ass all day like little kids.

Aurora_Sunset
01-07-2023, 08:41 PM
I seriously feel like I have to keep distracting myself with my phone because if I open my mouth, I will lose my absolute shit. I’m ready to scream at both of them and then my husband to keep them away from me for the rest of the weekend. I have never been this irritated. It is a testament to my willpower that I haven’t already snapped.

I hate working Sundays and I’m seriously considering going in tomorrow just so I don’t have to be around them until they’re gone.

I hate kids.
Fuck parenting.

miss.a.p1600
01-07-2023, 08:57 PM
^your husband will probably help get his kids under control better if he knows you’re working (aka leaving him to take care of his kids alone) on weekends

The average dude cannot hack it with their own kids for extended periods of time before they start losing *their* damn minds.

Girl I be on the edge of snapping on L EVERY weekend. Thank goodness for those days he takes them OUT, my solo travels, and acts of god/nature

I remember once he called me with them in the car with them and they were arguing with each other and he was getting triggered. All I could think was “Im glad I took my own car so I can have PEACE” and “damn Im glad I’m not getting roped in dealing with his kids like it’s my legal parenting time“

Courts ain’t coming after me if I say no to those kids so ima exercise my rights and let him deal with his kids meltdowns, bad attitudes, obnoxious annoying behavior while I leave out to regain my peace n quiet.

I remember Carmen saying the same thing when I was ranting a while back about how annoyed I’d get at L’s weak passive parenting style and just how triggered I’d get every weekend from having the space invasion. She recommended to just leave for a self care day (or even work) on one of the days.

chanzep
01-07-2023, 09:54 PM
yeah it’s coronavirus

took two home tests and they’re positive.

get your boosters then keep your guard UP.

LOTS of people out here with “oh it’s just allergies/sinus/sniffles” then breathing all into your face n spreading their COVID pathogens. You’re most vulnerable right after the vaccine before your body has a chance to build up immunity to whatever new strain is out there

Sorry that's terrible. Anyone with covid should stay home, even though most people are ok, it's dangerous people can die. They are selfish and stupid to do this. I would go stay somewhere else .

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 01:27 AM
Omg, I absolutely hate my stepson this weekend.

If this is a preview of his teenage years, count me out.


IÂ’ll be honest and say I hate the step kids just about every weekend and sometimes during the week.

These kids have NO CHILL (they call him multiple times a day and sometimes too early or too late at night), they’re clingy as shit, this dude is operating so much out of guilt to the point I’m convinced he simply feels horrible for leaving his kids in a 2 parent home and tries to make them feel like they’re still living in an “in-tact” family (aka cannot accept his weekend visitation and every week he is going to his ex wife’s house whenever she pings him for some basic parenting shit she can do herself)

80% of our disagreements revolve around his lackadaisical style of parenting, sloppy schedules, his loud ass kids coming into my space acting like they have no home training, spending all his resources on his kids while his ex wife kicks her feet up and barely does anything, expecting me to help him take care of his kids, while heÂ’s at work or the gym, and not providing any compensation, bring his kids over while theyÂ’re sick, expecting his kids over EVERY single weekend and holiday. I could go on and on

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 10:14 AM
I really hate how his kids voice tone is always on level 10

One reason why I’m ready for this kid to go back to Bertha ASAP.

GIRL shhhhhhh!!!!!

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:16 AM
^ I could have sworn at time J and his daughter must be standing RIGHT OUTSIDE the bedroom door ( which I had closed for quiet ). I'd ask J and he was like " we were DOWN stairs not even upstairs ..... sound carries weird in this house sometimes ".

It's almost Sun. eve! You can make it ! Can I recommend an afternoon movie and tea out so you don't have to listen to them anymore lol ?

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 10:19 AM
^good idea!!!

Yes girl. I hope he takes her back before sunset and doesn’t linger around stalling n shit

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:24 AM
I'll explain something annoying I had come to learn about N.

His custody days are split ...... such a Tues. and Fri . but it doesn't seem to be exact every week.
It is the WORST timing. Let me explain .....
He often seemed to pick up at 7:30 p.m. and then take BACK at 7:30 p.m. !
This KILLS four evenings a week basically. Meaning ..... after 5:30 he isn't open the 5:30 - 10 duration for the whole block.

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 10:33 AM
Im going on solo travel adventures this weekend.

It’s gonna cost me a bit of money for the freedom. But I’m looking forward to my OWN bed and not having to deal with L or his kids.

Just pisses me off this dude chose to work the weekend I’m out of town (I think he knew he didn’t want to take care of his kids a weekend alone and purposely scheduled weekend work when I’m out of town) w

Whatever. Baggage free weekend. Ima set up onlyfans cause I’m tired of his subpar providing skills

Aurora_Sunset
01-08-2023, 10:34 AM
I have been mostly leaving him to deal with it.

To his credit, my husband IS finally stepping up and following through on disciplining him. Stepson is not used to NOT being able to manipulate his way out of being in trouble, because both his parents used to treat him like the golden child that could do no wrong. So, when he acts like an asshole and actually gets punished for it, he's pushing back tremendously.

All this on top of the fact that he is clearly having major issues at school with being bullied. I think he's very hurt and feels bad about himself all the time and doesn't see his teachers or any adults standing up for him.

I finally snapped this morning and marched out and gave him a dressing down when he started his shit again.

I told him he doesn't run this household or make the rules, and he cannot keep disrespecting everyone like this.

He's going full shithead meltdown. We had to take electronics out of his room and reach because he's trying to break shit that doesn't belong to him. Cussing us out at every sentence. My husband finally whooped his ass, but it didn't seem to do much except make him fake cry for a minute, then he's right back at it.

Husband is on the phone with bio-mom right now. If this is a result of the shit happening at school (which I think it primarily is), he needs to be in a different school. This is not ok. On a whole different level than just "kids are assholes sometimes."

He's being destructive and violent - toward others AND himself.

I'm almost ready to suggest a psych stay honestly - a 10-year old kid shouldn't be screaming that he wants to "kill himself."

Aurora_Sunset
01-08-2023, 10:35 AM
Part of me wishes I had gone to work, but part of me is glad I stayed home and finally stepped in to the conversation. Maybe it needed to get to this point for both his parents to realize that something is WRONG and take it seriously.

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 10:35 AM
I'll explain something annoying I had come to learn about N.

His custody days are split ...... such a Tues. and Fri . but it doesn't seem to be exact every week.
It is the WORST timing. Let me explain .....
He often seemed to pick up at 7:30 p.m. and then take BACK at 7:30 p.m. !
This KILLS four evenings a week basically. Meaning ..... after 5:30 he isn't open the 5:30 - 10 duration for the whole block.

yeah that sucks ass unless he can learn to delegate and have grandparents or whoever help and free up some of that time.

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:36 AM
^ What exactly did he do to get into trouble at the start of the weekend ?

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:37 AM
At 10 kids need to gain identity and independence.
He should start having some hustles to earn money.
He should have a hobby that gets him out of the house.
If he can't " pick " something to pick up and get good at he needs your partner to MAKE him get " into " something.

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:39 AM
I mean .... it's workable ..... IF N were offering a relationship I could just be like " oh ok while I *prefer * to see my lover starting at 5:30 or 6 ..... waiting until 7:30 is still workable.
BUT talk about killing the MOST evenings possible for what was explained as " two days a week ". I'm just like " why are these pick ups and drops not happending at 5:30 " ? There just seems to be zero logic. Plus I really believe it's bad for the kid this way ( too much shuffling ) when one pick up and drop would be more seamless. It just seems like the worst timing because it disrupts the evening that first day ( only gives them 90 min. together I'm assuming ).



yeah that sucks ass unless he can learn to delegate and have grandparents or whoever help and free up some of that time.

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:54 AM
Aurora :

He probably does need therapy.
I'd also ask " what makes you feel like that ? " or have your husband do it.

This is going to show my red neck roots a little ..... but I'd also have your husband teach him self defense.
IF he gets into a scrap ..... you want him to be able to hold his own and defend himself. It needs to be done *with* caution obviously as " a self defense plan " . Things like ji-jitsu or other martial arts could be great for him.

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 10:56 AM
I have been mostly leaving him to deal with it.

To his credit, my husband IS finally stepping up and following through on disciplining him. Stepson is not used to NOT being able to manipulate his way out of being in trouble, because both his parents used to treat him like the golden child that could do no wrong. So, when he acts like an asshole and actually gets punished for it, he's pushing back tremendously.

All this on top of the fact that he is clearly having major issues at school with being bullied. I think he's very hurt and feels bad about himself all the time and doesn't see his teachers or any adults standing up for him.

I finally snapped this morning and marched out and gave him a dressing down when he started his shit again.

I told him he doesn't run this household or make the rules, and he cannot keep disrespecting everyone like this.

He's going full shithead meltdown. We had to take electronics out of his room and reach because he's trying to break shit that doesn't belong to him. Cussing us out at every sentence. My husband finally whooped his ass, but it didn't seem to do much except make him fake cry for a minute, then he's right back at it.

Husband is on the phone with bio-mom right now. If this is a result of the shit happening at school (which I think it primarily is), he needs to be in a different school. This is not ok. On a whole different level than just "kids are assholes sometimes."

He's being destructive and violent - toward others AND himself.

I'm almost ready to suggest a psych stay honestly - a 10-year old kid shouldn't be screaming that he wants to "kill himself."

Awwwww…..now I feel bad for the kid.

He probably is acting out at home because of what’s going on in school.

Still doesn’t give him an excuse to be a butthead to his family (the people who help raise him and love him) but it explains why

i was just going to suggest looking into a different school and maybe working with a therapist or life coach or something that can help him rebuild his confidence

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 10:59 AM
^ I would be curious to see what the kids are finding to bully him about.
It could provide a lot of info.

Aurora_Sunset
01-08-2023, 11:20 AM
Aurora :

He probably does need therapy.
I'd also ask " what makes you feel like that ? " or have your husband do it.

This is going to show my red neck roots a little ..... but I'd also have your husband teach him self defense.
IF he gets into a scrap ..... you want him to be able to hold his own and defend himself. It needs to be done *with* caution obviously as " a self defense plan " . Things like ji-jitsu or other martial arts could be great for him.

He is in therapy - but it's the school therapist, which I think is dumb. If the school is the problem, and the adults at school aren't helping, why would we stick with the SCHOOL therapist? I think he needs a new school and a new therapist.

We did try to get him into martial arts when the bullying first started. He had a complete meltdown at the studio, was super disrespectful to the sensei, and absolutely refused.

NOTHING is working. We tried every trick in the book today to get him to calm down, to TALK to us. He won't. He'll have moments of breakthrough, where he's still yelling and cussing at us, but he's saying stuff like how everyone at school calls him retarded, he's a piece of shit, he wants to kill himself, he doesn't think we love him, and when we ask "why do you feel like that?" he just won't answer. Or go back to swearing at us every sentence. We are begging him to let us help him by just TELLING us what is going on and everything that is wrong, but he just says we can't help, we can't do anything, nothing can be done, and shuts down.

I can SEE the hurt and brokenness on his face when he's saying these things, but every time we try to help, try to talk to him, try to say loving and calming words to him - he just retreats into anger and shutting down. I do not know what to do for this kid.

ETA: As far as what he's being bullied for - autism. His teachers blame everything he does "wrong" or "differently" on "oh that's because you're autistic," like it's this huge problem and he's "stupid" because of it. The kids pick up on it - as well as other things, like his ADHD quirks, and bully him for it. It's gotten physical, to the point where he's come home with bruises. Basically, he's neurodivergent and has a couple learning disabilities. He's NOT stupid, but he is hyper, a little quirky, and emotionally immature for his age. If the school worked with him better, I think he'd learn to cope, but them treating him like HE'S the problem when he gets bullied and reinforcing this idea that THEY think he's stupid too - it's making him lose faith in all adults.

I mean, I get it. I can't imagine spending most of your week locked in a school where it feels like everyone is gaining up on you, telling you're weird, retarded, and dumb - even the adults. Of course he's hurt and angry. Lashing out at us is not helping, but when other adults haven't helped in the past, I can see why he thinks we can't do anything either. I have no idea how to get through to him or help.

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 11:28 AM
^ That provides a lot of insight.
Yes, I would consider a new school for sure.
Then he would have a fresh start.
It might be a good idea for the new teacher to be more discreet about the autism.

Based on your description I wouldn't rule out sexual abuse either. Not to be scary but it is one other possibility.

100% go with a counselor outside the school and get him going asap.

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 12:17 PM
I mean .... it's workable ..... IF N were offering a relationship I could just be like " oh ok while I *prefer * to see my lover starting at 5:30 or 6 ..... waiting until 7:30 is still workable.
BUT talk about killing the MOST evenings possible for what was explained as " two days a week ". I'm just like " why are these pick ups and drops not happending at 5:30 " ? There just seems to be zero logic. Plus I really believe it's bad for the kid this way ( too much shuffling ) when one pick up and drop would be more seamless. It just seems like the worst timing because it disrupts the evening that first day ( only gives them 90 min. together I'm assuming ).

Divorced dad guilt = they extend the times to as late as possible because they feel guilty “shuffling” the kid around and overcompensate by the use of sloppy scheduling

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 12:21 PM
^ I just can't see the logic ! Because it disrupts the evening . Like .... the kid has dinner with Mom and THEN goes over ?

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 01:02 PM
I’d like to take a moment and thank the heavens above for L’s daughter hassling tf out of L to take her somewhere so now they’re both up out of my space.

It’s funny how this mf gaslights me when I tell him he is overcompensating for his ex wife to the point where he is actually taking resources from this household then comes to the epiphany today that he does too much and his ex wife needs to pull more weight.

Men are the biggest gaslighters on the planet.

I hate men!

miss.a.p1600
01-08-2023, 02:05 PM
Im thankful L only has one kid this weekend (even though I think they BOTH should have stayed with their mom) and that he is taking his daughter OUT

Even if it means 5 grocery store trips.

Don’t sit up here and tell me you’re overcompensating for your ex wife because you “love” your kids but when you bring them here you try and leave me with them while you’re traipsing around. No ma’am!

Im also realizing that I don’t like the fact he has two kids. Him nor his ex wife could barely afford one. He can’t hack it with two kids and a trifling ex wife.

Anyways. Enough ranting. Ima focus on my move OUT of this situation because I don’t believe I’d be fully satisfied long term with this

carmen_b
01-08-2023, 03:34 PM
IF I see N again ( I have been thinking about it maybe one more time lol ) I need to come up with a cringe fake story involving an ex to top his stupid " check into this hotel as a fake family " story.

I thought of maybe telling him that Aussie B is back in town and since I'm doing the Rover reservation B is renting my room for two weeks. No big deal ..... my giant snowboarding Aussie will just be in the bed until I return from this dog sit lol.

miss.a.p1600
01-09-2023, 08:07 AM
I swear L’s kids are worrisome af

If it’s not them begging to invade my space, begging for him to buy them things/drive them places every other day, breaking things they just get, leaving stuff so he has to make multiple trips, and multiple ongoing fake ass crises that only he supposedly can solve.

Never date divorced dads ladies! Those damn kids are keeping him on call 24/7 and his ex wife acting like a clueless bat in headlights.

Okay so this morning L’s daughter called at fucking 6 in the morning using her typical “fake crying / tears” manipulation tatic to get him to quickly respond to her desperate attempts at attentions seeking from whoever will pay her attention. Complaining about fake ailments she doesn’t have just to get someone to coddle her.

Thank heavens L didn’t buy it this time and told her to drink some water and let her mother handle it.

GOOD!!!! Stop calling here all day every day for some basic shit your mother needs to handle since you’re at her house. Wtf

miss.a.p1600
01-10-2023, 09:35 AM
^okay i feel slightly bad cause the kid was allegedly not feeling well

But I’m still triggered that rather than ask her mom for help, Bertha actually helping her kid, she calls nonstop at all times of the day and night.

Like unless you’re bleeding out, Emergency Room status, then Bertha needs to handle it!

He got a call super early this am and I’m like “if these kids call his ass one more time over some trivial shit that Bertha needs to resolve herself, I will rage”

miss.a.p1600
01-10-2023, 09:43 AM
I read somewhere about the “evil” stepmother

and how these divorced dads with kids basically have no boundaries with their kids or ex wife, and in addition the the bad behavior they also have hella money / time / resources going out to another household and if the men don’t get a grip on their boundary enforcement and manage resources effectively it’s enough to turn any normal woman into an “evil” raging bitch.

I remember once when L kept insisting his kids stay at this house when Bertha went on vacation one weekend. Right after we went in “vacation” and this fool invited himself (and his kids) along. So I was like last weekend we took your kids out of town and now this weekend it’s your ex wife’s turn to take those kids out of town. I deserve a kid free weekend just like she deserves one. So they need to stay with family - if she’s going out of town (and doesn’t want to take her kids) the she needs to arrange child care with her family and she better not come back into town asking for money pretending to be broke.

This fool acted like I told his kids to go live in a cardboard box in the trenches of the most dangerous street corner for a weekend. So apparently I was the “evil” cunty bitchy stepmother that week cause none of these mfs have any boundaries

miss.a.p1600
01-12-2023, 06:12 AM
Speaking of loose boundaries L and his kids are REALLY pissing me off

Ls clingy ass kids calling him all times if the day and night that is super inappropriate

Like unless you need to go to the hospital, STOP calling before 8am and after 8pm!!!! I FUCKING hate Bertha too cause she’s probably like “call your dad” on some simple shit she can deal with and could give two shits of her kids are disrupting the peace here with their trivial ass question that can and should wait till normal hours.

And if I dare say anything about how Inappropriate it is, then I’m the cunt of the century for suggesting these mfs have some cotdamn boundaries

miss.a.p1600
01-12-2023, 09:45 AM
Seething because L is inviting his kids over here WHILE he’s at work (I’m going out of town so I won’t have to physically deal with them in my space thank goodness but it’s still
The principle)

And I don’t agree with this shit at all after telling him multiple times this is gross negligence

1. If I can’t get a house to myself on the weekends, neither should they. They pay not one bill and that is not a privilege they are going to get here.

2. This fool purposely waits till the last minute so he knows I can’t object because he already told his kids and ex wife and I’m the LAST to know or agree to what’s going to happen in my house that I pay bills in

3. Bertha and L will press the limit and there will be no end to those kids all up in this house regardless if he’s working or not AND we’re not going to do that.

This idiot has just effectively put himself into a forced celibacy AGAIN and continues to solidify why I do not want to endure this dudes baggage long term.

carmen_b
01-12-2023, 09:48 AM
^ What is your plan for leaving ?
He clearly does not give AF about your requests .
Him dealing with them entirely or at least at " 80 % " seems reasonable.

How are you with dogs ?
I've had a TON of action on Rover.com doing house sits where the clients dog stays with me in the clients home while they are traveling. Get paid to get a quiet house ( and bonus doggie ).
Obviously it won't work if you don't like dogs ha. One tip about the site is they don't do an actual address verification. So you can put whatever fancy zip code in you want. Your platform zip code doesn't need to match your I.D. card. Anywhere drivable with nice homes might be a good option. You could make extra $ AND escape L and the kids. I would say the weekends are busiest as well so it could be idea for your schedule of wanting to be somewhere else on weekends and particularly on holiday weekends . :)

I would just leave the house for 6-8 hours and if it's a mess on return point L to any messes to deal with.

Also ... it's not even the weekend yet.
Is this something he is saying he is going to do on Sat. / Sun. ?

carmen_b
01-12-2023, 09:54 AM
Telling him you are selling pure romance now and will have dildos and vibes set up in the living room on display all weekend while you have parties for women in the neighborhood. They must be gone during the set times so you don't need to put the vibrators and dicks back in their boxes.

miss.a.p1600
01-12-2023, 10:35 AM
^ What is your plan for leaving ?
He clearly does not give AF about your requests .
Him dealing with them entirely or at least at " 80 % " seems reasonable.

How are you with dogs ?
I've had a TON of action on Rover.com doing house sits where the clients dog stays with me in the clients home while they are traveling. Get paid to get a quiet house ( and bonus doggie ).
Obviously it won't work if you don't like dogs ha. One tip about the site is they don't do an actual address verification. So you can put whatever fancy zip code in you want. Your platform zip code doesn't need to match your I.D. card. Anywhere drivable with nice homes might be a good option. You could make extra $ AND escape L and the kids. I would say the weekends are busiest as well so it could be idea for your schedule of wanting to be somewhere else on weekends and particularly on holiday weekends . :)

I would just leave the house for 6-8 hours and if it's a mess on return point L to any messes to deal with.

Also ... it's not even the weekend yet.
Is this something he is saying he is going to do on Sat. / Sun. ?

THIS ASSHOLE is going to have Bertha drop them off Friday night (while he’s at work). He’s not off till Saturday 6pm.

AND since he doesn’t give af about this house boundaries, I stopped giving af about his sexual “needs”

Im traveling SOLO to attend a sporting event this weekend so he did it knowing I’m not going to be here and thinking it won’t bother me as much since I’ll be gone. It still bothers me because if it’s allowed once it will become the expectation. If he was paying for my trip I probably would have some chill. But there is NO BENEFIT in me allowing those kids to have peace in my home while no one is there.

Nope that bitch cares more about being cheap (just pay the hoe extra $100/month to keep her kids while he’s at work on weekends), Berthas peace (bitch you created those kids so sit down stfu and deal with them), and trampling over any shred of boundaries I have and those kids and ex wife SHOULD have.

He seems to think moving to another state would help because Bertha will magically figure out how to take care of her kids. Like nah bruh YOU stop being cheap/stop enabling this bitch is the solution.

it just REALLY pisses me off that *I*have to leave AND spend money (that I need to save to g tf out of this shit show) to temporarily escape the baggage. It also pisses me off that I can’t get a QUIET peaceful weekend (unless I pay to travel out of town, rage against him, etc)

Maybe I need to temporarily chill and if his kids are over here unsupervised getting this house to
themselves when I can’t even get this house to myself then I’m going to be HARDCORE about it being cleaned upon my return AND I’m going to use it as time to pack my shit, work on side hustles, and basically leave

*I like your idea that if I am in town, I leave the house for work (on a weekend he’s agreed to host them while he’s at work) that I can focus on making money instead instead of losing money to avoid them because I don’t agree with L’s decisions

Im convinced at this point I just need to leave regardless of what I’ve saved or haven’t saved. Because as long as I’m helping this fool with household bills and he’s allowing his dad guilt to trample over my boundaries then im never going to be satisfied.

miss.a.p1600
01-12-2023, 10:37 AM
Idk if I should say anything about how inappropriate this shit is or just cold should his ass for another two weeks and just keep focusing on moving out/forward.

EDIT - I’m going to wait till I’m out of town, had a little edible so I’m not on edge n raging, then I’m going to make it clear that those kids need to stay with whoever until he is OFF work. If he insists on his FULL 3 days and 2 nights then he IS GOING TO PAY ME for the inconvenience of having those kids in my space. And I’m charging more than Bertha would charge so he’s better off leaving them with her and paying her a little money.

I’m going to run a guilt trip since he is operating on divorced dad guilt.

miss.a.p1600
01-12-2023, 10:53 AM
Telling him you are selling pure romance now and will have dildos and vibes set up in the living room on display all weekend while you have parties for women in the neighborhood. They must be gone during the set times so you don't need to put the vibrators and dicks back in their boxes.

Ahahaha!!!!

This is GOLDEN!

Now searching for people to host a Pure Romance party so those kids can stay with Bertha

WendiStarr
01-13-2023, 11:23 AM
I don't really know what to do about my boyfriend's son. I mean, I've dated mostly kid free men or men whose kid was age 3 or school age and no real issues with them. Whenever I go to my boyfriend's house, his son wants to leave right away. I told him that I'm not trying to take his mom's place and I'm not going to make him call me mom or anything. I don't know. We went out to eat and the kid sat right next to me. I thought he would've wanted to sit next to his dad or on the other side of the table, away from me. He told my boyfriend that he feels anxious whenever I'm around and I don't know why. I'm not mean. I don't yell or order him around or anything.

carmen_b
01-13-2023, 12:05 PM
^ What age ?

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 12:46 PM
^do nothing.

He’s just adjusting to another person being around.

Time is the answer.

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 12:53 PM
At least y’all’s dudes isn’t as annoying about forcing their kids on you.

Or maybe I just get triggered too easily.

Today L “changes his fucking mind” then tells me LAST COTDAMN minute that his kids are going to be dropped off BEFORE I leave town so not only are they going to be in my damn way when im last minute packing but also they’re going to get even more time to have my house to theirselves.

It is burning me tf up that I can’t get a weekend house to myself but these kids who pay not one bill are getting the luxury even I don’t have.

This house is not a fucking day care.

And im tired to sharing my space with entitled lazy loud kids who contribute nothing and a delusional and entitled dad who provides nothing for me to deal with this shit every weekend.

Fuck L and fuck those kids!

Yes I said it.

L knew not to fix his lips to ask about sex cause im completely turned off.

*sorry for the raging rants

Staci
01-13-2023, 01:05 PM
At least y’all’s dudes isn’t as annoying about forcing their kids on you.

Or maybe I just get triggered too easily.

Today L “changes his fucking mind” then tells me LAST COTDAMN minute that his kids are going to be dropped off BEFORE I leave town so not only are they going to be in my damn way when im last minute packing but also they’re going to get even more time to have my house to theirselves.

It is burning me tf up that I can’t get a weekend house to myself but these kids who pay not one bill are getting the luxury even I don’t have.

This house is not a fucking day care.

And im tired to sharing my space with entitled lazy loud kids who contribute nothing and a delusional and entitled dad who provides nothing for me to deal with this shit every weekend.

Fuck L and fuck those kids!

Yes I said it.

L knew not to fix his lips to ask about sex cause im completely turned off.

*sorry for the raging rants
The only solution is to remove yourself from that situation. Hopefully, that can happen sooner rather than later.

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 03:00 PM
^yeah i talked to my mom about it and just……the writing is on the wall. Has been on the wall for several months. Me staying is not healthy for my own benefit and others around me.

His kids and ex wife are disrespectful, have zero boundaries, and PUSHY af and want me out so they can have unfettered access to him/this house/etc.

He’s not ready for a relationship.

He needs a concubine - and a lobotomy.

As long as I’m participating in this shit show (expecting common decency and respect that most partners receive but I barely get)……..I’m gonna be miserable

WendiStarr
01-13-2023, 03:38 PM
^ The kid is 13. I don't know. It might have to do with him being used to being with his dad 24/7 for the longest time. Now here I am intruding. Boyfriend has had full custody since his son was born and just recently has the biological mom started getting the kid for the weekends and not dumped him off on grandma. He's talking about us moving in together at the end of the year but I don't know how that's going to work out. I don't want the kid to be uncomfortable that he's going to want to be gone all the time. He got pretty pissed and went outside when he saw us kiss, had an anxiety attack, and wanted to go to his mom's right away.

Aurora_Sunset
01-13-2023, 06:44 PM
Wendi, he's probably just adjusting. 13 is a very sensitive/emotional/volatile age (all pre-teen - teen years actually, but especially right there at the cusp). Especially if he's not even used to his own mom being around and giving a shit, it's gonna take time for him trust anyone that comes into his/his dad's life.

Just take things slow and non-pushy. I'm curious if his mom has/had a bf and if he acts this way around men she dates as well?

Aurora_Sunset
01-13-2023, 06:46 PM
miss.a.p, I don't understand why the kids need to be at your place when no one is even going to be home? If they're at an age to "watch themselves," why do they need to sit in an empty house all day Saturday? So bizarre.

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 10:21 PM
^THANK YOU!

This dude is constantly gaslighting me and has me feeling like *im* the crazy one for suggesting they not be there until he is off work.

I am completely against it but I think he is simply trying to satisfy his 2 days a week obligation without paying her extra, knew I was going out of town and couldn’t object much.

At this point he’s appeasing Bertha (whilst satisfying his own divorced dad guilt issues) and it’s clear. I refuse to be beholden to that bitch. And I shouldn’t have to be punished (by having my reasonable boundaries treaded) when it’s not my fault that Berthas sole source of support is L when the bitch has an entire fucking large family she can call up for childcare.

I had to raise hell and go off on his ass so he’d leave them with her on ONE holiday out of the entire year.

Anyways thinking about how he has them over AGAIN knowing good and damn well I don’t like when they’re at my house like it’s a daycare. Plus he haggled me last week to have them there when coronavirus hit.

Those people are pushy, rude, obnoxious and he wonders why I don’t want to spend time with him or his kids. THIS is why.

I’m going to block his calls this entire weekend.

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 10:34 PM
^ The kid is 13. I don't know. It might have to do with him being used to being with his dad 24/7 for the longest time. Now here I am intruding. Boyfriend has had full custody since his son was born and just recently has the biological mom started getting the kid for the weekends and not dumped him off on grandma. He's talking about us moving in together at the end of the year but I don't know how that's going to work out. I don't want the kid to be uncomfortable that he's going to want to be gone all the time. He got pretty pissed and went outside when he saw us kiss, had an anxiety attack, and wanted to go to his mom's right away.

That’s good that you’re trying to make the kid more comfortable

……..I wish L’s kids wanted to go to their moms right away. Unfortunately L has created this scenario where his kids like him better than their mom. They get a large house to themselves they don’t have to pay bills in or clean or cook

miss.a.p1600
01-13-2023, 10:36 PM
I confess that I purposely turned off all the lights at the house before leaving so L’s kids would be more likely to be scared and less likely to want to be there at night alone.

I’m not answering his calls this weekend because I know I will light into his ass if I do. Better to keep my mouth shut for right now. And my eyes on the prize = setting a move out date.

carmen_b
01-14-2023, 06:50 PM
Wendi : Your concern is sweet.
I would recommend a slow adjustment such as not being in that space more than a couple days a week.
I mean .... bf can come to you right at certain times ? Then as the kid gets more used to you it can increase.

miss.a.p1600
01-15-2023, 07:56 AM
I barely talked to dude this weekend (cause im still triggered by his dumb idea to host his kids at the house WHILE he was at work - and allowed them to sit around an empty house for over 12 hrs raising themselves) and when I did finally talk to him this mf is like “I’m playing with my kids now but I’m going to get rid of them on Sunday. My son is going to his friends house but I don’t know what I’m going to do with my daughter”

Well if he wouldn’t have forced his agenda (to have his kids all up in that house with no adults for 12 hrs while he worked) then I would have volunteered to help him out.

But since my reasonable rules weren’t respected then I decided to call in sick from work, spend an extra day out of town, and further avoid that dude and his childcare struggle baggage.

Figure it out bitch. You’re not using me as a free nanny, you’re not going to make plans with your kids then volunteer me to help y’all, you’re not going to gaslight/argue/guilt trip/manipulate me cause you have weak parenting