View Full Version : The Step Parent Corner …… rant, brag, shine, or cry here
carmen_b
07-11-2022, 08:39 AM
^ I’m struggling though because I feel like I can’t leave the house at all haha I get so little time here alone. I see things to do and I’m like “ save it for 5-6 days out from now “ haha.
I’d probably do the hotel research for him and leave the prints outs around but I’m not known for my subtlety ha.
miss.a.p1600
07-11-2022, 08:45 AM
^good idea on trying to do some gentle ‘brainwashing’
I talked to the therapist about it and she was like “use the kids to hammer it in his mind to do it” hahaha
Aurora_Sunset
07-11-2022, 01:57 PM
I tried really hard this past weekend to be more engaged when I was home in the evenings, but my stepson just wants us to watch Youtube with him, and he's in this phase where he watches the DUMBEST shit. For awhile, he had old Vine compilations on, and I was into that. Then he switched to some weird Super Mario edited shit?? It's just unhinged internet garbage. The worst part is realizing that all of these videos (and there are SO many) were probably made by an ADULT male. God... I don't wanna meet the human beings who make this dumb shit.
On the other hand, I barely saw stepdaughter cuz she closed herself in her room most of the time.
carmen_b
07-11-2022, 03:42 PM
^ That can be the challenge right ?
If the activity is mind numbing BORING then maybe 15-25 minutes and then free me hahaha ?
I will probably do my Canoe idea again this upcoming weekend. It doesn't take much ( a water bottle and snacks for each person ). The canoe is docked so you just buy a couple hours and take it out. It's awesome. It's a pretty big drive ( over an hour each way ) but if you've got ALL day to burn ..... it's burns it a pleasant and structured way haha ( higher elevation so much cooler ).
My dog is having the time of his life. He got to get up on the couch and bed ( but shhhhhh that is a secret ). He is smart enough too to only do it if it's JUST me.
miss.a.p1600
07-12-2022, 04:27 AM
I tried really hard this past weekend to be more engaged when I was home in the evenings, but my stepson just wants us to watch Youtube with him, and he's in this phase where he watches the DUMBEST shit. For awhile, he had old Vine compilations on, and I was into that. Then he switched to some weird Super Mario edited shit?? It's just unhinged internet garbage. The worst part is realizing that all of these videos (and there are SO many) were probably made by an ADULT male. God... I don't wanna meet the human beings who make this dumb shit.
On the other hand, I barely saw stepdaughter cuz she closed herself in her room most of the time.
Ls daughter be closing herself in her room lately.
Part of me feels a slight twinge of guilt because I know she’s extroverted and probably just trying to stay out of my way but the other part of me is like “look here little kids, make this weekend easy for me and I’ll make it easy for you”
I also admit I’m not the best viewer of kiddie shows. Most kid shows are mind numbing amd not good at all. There are like 10% of kid shows are entertaining imo. I was raised up watching adult shows n movies from a young age lol!
miss.a.p1600
07-12-2022, 04:34 AM
^ That can be the challenge right ?
If the activity is mind numbing BORING then maybe 15-25 minutes and then free me hahaha ?
I will probably do my Canoe idea again this upcoming weekend. It doesn't take much ( a water bottle and snacks for each person ). The canoe is docked so you just buy a couple hours and take it out. It's awesome. It's a pretty big drive ( over an hour each way ) but if you've got ALL day to burn ..... it's burns it a pleasant and structured way haha ( higher elevation so much cooler ).
My dog is having the time of his life. He got to get up on the couch and bed ( but shhhhhh that is a secret ). He is smart enough too to only do it if it's JUST me.
That’s hilarious your dog is living his best life too. And how smart he is to know the difference in the rules when you’re there vs when everyone else is there.
Canoe sounds fun!
carmen_b
07-12-2022, 07:49 AM
^ I'm super jealous of you guys saying the kids are in the their room for ANY length of time !
J enables . She is getting old enough to be independent for an hour but then he goes and lurks and " checks in " around the 30 minute mark.
I think I have seen her in her own room during the day for *maybe* 2 hours ONCE in the last 6 months.
I remember she was drawing a comic book and I was thinking " that is so great she is finally getting some independence ". Then I haven't seen it again ha. :/
He admits he helicopters . I try to stay out of it for the *most* part even though I feel pretty strongly that at almost 10 she should be able to entertain herself with ANY guidance from us for an hour.
miss.a.p1600
07-12-2022, 04:28 PM
^one of my relatives is the same way. She likes to ALWAYS know what the kid(s) are up to, “together” time, etc and doesn’t like kids to be in their rooms too long unless it’s nap or night time.
She hovers and helicopters.
I guess the parents who do that think it’s for the kids benefit. Just like the parents who like kids to be independent think the same. This may be a topic y’all have to compromise if you do have a say about it.
carmen_b
07-12-2022, 04:30 PM
^ We talk openly and he knows my opinion is that it’s detrimental to her.
It’s really his choice what he does though ultimately.
It can just be hard to watch when you don’t always agree!
miss.a.p1600
07-12-2022, 04:49 PM
I may have spoke too soon.
His daughter is hanging out all over the downstairs area.
Then had the gall to say *I* scared her. Look kid! You fucking scare ME by invading my territory!
miss.a.p1600
07-13-2022, 03:58 AM
T minus 24 hours and these kids will be out of my space.
My plan is to be gone 3/4 of the day they are there. It’s a weekday so I don’t want any pressure to be obligated to entertain them.
carmen_b
07-13-2022, 11:08 AM
I'm having some anxiety about the next 7 days. I leave today on a business trip. Once it wraps I'll get J at the airport the 15th.
He might arrive around Midnight.
His business trip was 5 days. Then he has his daughter 5 days. The 16th morning - the 21st morning.
So .... yeah ..... that means we have like 90 minutes for the two of us the morning the 16th.
I'm already getting into anxiety land about this ( I think part of it is because I don't know how the weekend days of the 16th and 17th will be structured ).
I just HATE this July schedule. It wouldn't feel so extreme IF I had traveled with him but I didn't have these dates far enough ahead to hold the time open .
I have the 17th booked for myself at my AirBnB .
I think I have a lingering anger / agitation for the lack of booked activities. IF I *knew* in advance we had even a couple 2-3 hour long windows for us within that long visit it would make things easier. I assume he will probably find coverage in *some* way but I don't know about it currently. It's making me a feel a little off. :/
I really don't want speak in terms of negative vibes when this comes down to just making it 3.5 more weeks . In my mind I'm calling it three weeks in my mind because I assume there will be some prep happening the week prior.
The first day of school is Aug. 11 !
It did occur to me ( I'll admit ) that I had the thought of " hmmmm where else should I be during Aug. 16-20 time ? " but I ran off * last * time to my cabin for three days during the last long visit. I can see how it would be alarming to J if I did it every time. My canoe idea will most likely be the 17th during the day .
I'm also trying to focus on some positive energy . Instead of dreading having " only " 90 min. with my partner the morning the 16th I will think in terms of " ok I get 90 minutes and then we can do some fun things all together.
miss.a.p1600
07-13-2022, 12:58 PM
That’s a good way to reframe it.
I feel ya though, L thought it was a good idea to run straight from work, pick up his kids, then rush to drop them off minutes before he had to be back to work.
He recently started giving himself some prep time after work before he goes to get them the next am
miss.a.p1600
07-13-2022, 12:59 PM
Thank heavens!!!
L took his kids for their yearly checkups and whatnot.
Thank goodness they’re up out of this house and I have some peace and quiet from his loud whiny daughter. I have a migraine and my patience is thin.
I wish he’d take them out more often instead of defaulting to all-day lounging at this house.
miss.a.p1600
07-14-2022, 09:05 AM
Today is their last day here for the week.
I can’t wait till this visitation is over.
I hope he takes them back at a reasonable hour so I can prep for our date tomorrow
miss.a.p1600
07-14-2022, 04:26 PM
He is waiting until the absolute last hour to take them back. Ugh!!!!
Even his kids are ready to go.
Edit- I’m losing my patience for his lousy whiny daughter. Please hurry and take them back asap!
miss.a.p1600
07-14-2022, 04:30 PM
Then he grills his daughter on why she doesn’t take baths here.
Look mf! Stop forcing the issue. One less bath means less cleaning I have to do after her plus I don’t want her lingering in my bathroom or sharing showers with a kid. Less utilities I have to pay for.
Take your showers and do your laundry at Berthas house.
miss.a.p1600
07-15-2022, 06:56 AM
Thank goodness he took them back and didn’t keep asking them “when do YOU want to leave”
That shit burns me up how he tries to give them the power to extend their visits usually without consulting me first. Those kids Pay not one bill so that is not their decision unless they decide they want to leave EARLY
THANKFULLY they were getting bored and requesting to leave. Thank you impatient kids. Glad Bertha is finally being a better mother and her kids prefer to be with her.
Now if L would focus on providing instead of trying to be a dad and a stay at home mom
carmen_b
07-15-2022, 08:30 AM
^ Hahaha.
He seems to truly not " get it " that it stresses kids to have the adult not tell them what is happening !
I believe it causes stress because they then need to scramble and try to figure out the answer the adult in front of them might want.
Put that on AUTO by doing picks ups / drops at the SAME time as much as possible !
miss.a.p1600
07-15-2022, 09:34 AM
^his son is okay but his daughter (idk if she is autistic or just has no boundaries) but she acts like the world is coming to an end of plans change. He does have to tell her last minute (as I saw when he told her she couldn’t come to this house because I was sick) because she has annoyingly severe meltdowns when he changes plans.
Still his fault. He should have just taken them OUT instead of cancelling on them.
carmen_b
07-15-2022, 09:41 AM
^ hmmmm I don't know what that is. Maybe a touch of OCD. It is kind of surprising she even remembers all the time !
I still say it *might* be throwing her off a little to not know plans well ahead ( since you mention she is needy ). She could be acting that way because she just " doesn't know " when she will see that person next ! Just one theory but I'm not an expert at ALL . It's kind of " on the fence " if she might need some therapy for this because the fact is that plans DO change. Plans with immediate family really shouldn't. You should count on family ! Friends flake / extended family can flake ect. and it shouldn't result in melting down.
miss.a.p1600
07-15-2022, 10:09 AM
^her aunt agreed to have her over one weekend then caught COVID and he literally had to hang up on her when she kept asking why should couldn’t still go there and how unfair it was.
That was a couple months ago.
Then when I got sick she was ranting about “why does everyone have to get sick”
It’s not an every week thing maybe every quarter or so someone is going to get sick or whatever and the plans will change. Idk if her parents raised her to the point she can’t understand illness means change of plans and humans get I’ll sometimes or if she is just lacking maturity or emotional development or whatnot.
But yeah I think L likes it when his kids are begging him about coming over. Makes him feel needed.
It’s annoying for sure. I’m going to talk to the therapist about it.
carmen_b
07-15-2022, 12:31 PM
^ I think she probably does get it and is just “ pressing “ for whatever reason.
Aurora_Sunset
07-15-2022, 01:45 PM
I swear I almost smacked my stepson today.
It was my husband's graduation ceremony, we sat all the way in the back, and he was playing a game silently on his dad's phone the whole time. Which, whatever, I was bored too, so I don't care if he's doing it while these boring people are talking. There was no one behind or next to us to distract with the screen. About a minute before his dad was called up, I tapped him and told him his dad was going to get called to the stage soon. Then, I got up and got into a better position to the side to take a video of it. When I was done cheering, I look over at the kids, and this motherfuckin' kid has his head BURIED in the phone, still playing, not looking up, not clapping, nothing. If I didn't think me snatching the phone right out of his hands would've caused him to holler in the middle of other people's moment, I would've blown up at him. He's 10. He can look up for 10 seconds to participate in his dad's special moment. He understands why we were there.
I ended up not saying anything to my husband, because I don't think he noticed. He kept saying how much it meant to him that they were there today, so I didn't want to spoil it by telling him his asshole son wasn't even paying attention after I told him to.
miss.a.p1600
07-15-2022, 08:17 PM
^ I think she probably does get it and is just “ pressing “ for whatever reason.
i think you’re right. She presses him to get her way and he usually gives in. He admitted that he “babies” her
miss.a.p1600
07-15-2022, 08:26 PM
I’m annoyed af.
Just as we sent his kids back to Bertha after his usual 2 day parenting time.
His kids are pressing to come over here AGAIN.
L tells me in the middle of a romantic date night that his son wants to come over. In my mind I’m like “fuck no” unless you want me to fall asleep on your ass after the date.
This is the second time he’s brought up custody/parenting his son WHILE we are on a romantic date. Why tf does he kee doing that? I’m trying to relieve stress during my date not have you create more of it.
So I’m thinking he’s come to his senses but just in case he hasn’t, I purposely try to slowly seduce him so time runs out and can you believe this mf is checking his phone during sex because his son is pinging him to pick him up. His dumb as is like “I gotta run out and get him” “come with me”
I’m like “the hell you do” and “no I’m not riding along to Berthas hood at this time of night”
I finally said I was going to kick him out the room, finish off with my vibrator while he lets his kids run him all around.
He instantly changes his mind after he realizes that both his son and daughter wanted to come, Bertha won’t drop them off, and I was going to please myself without him.
I said “well you just switched me from sex goddess mode to mom mode so now I’m done with the sexy times”
He has got to be the biggest idiot right now. Why the fuck would he tell his kids he’s off this entire week so they can haggle him about staying more than two days.
If he picks them up again, I’m bouncing out unplanned and letting him deal with them solo.
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 07:11 AM
Eh
I wish we would have traveled together for J’s trip !
I just couldn’t with having two clients .
Bleh . It ended up taking 6 days ( Sunday 10am to Fri midnight ).
I’m not sure what to think of him not even giving us a day together on the schedule today.
But ... he has his daughter back starting today at Noon for 5 days.
It just feels so long .
A day at a time I guess....
I’d better have coffee so we at least have 9am to 11:30 together.
I think I’m a little offended that he didn’t tell his ex it was a week that he needed ( so we would have one day at least on return ).
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 08:00 AM
^its rough! Like on one hand I get it - the kids needs come first but On the other hand mf HAS to create space n time for their partner (or they keep going as is and they wont have a partner)
Is how I’m feeling
I hate when L acts like “I can’t lie to my kids” (by not telling them he’s off the entire week) but will play games, let them beg him endlessly for more parenting time to feed his ego, create no structure, and disappoint them when he plans his extra off days for himself and not them.
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 08:27 AM
If he doesn’t want to lie that’s ok.
He can say “ I have plans “. :)
Maybe he can see them extra *somewhere else*?
I don’t think I can really mention this ( being upset we don’t have a day ) due to talking openly about how I was bummed to not have the structured activities booked to cover *some* of our business hours. :/
I don’t think it would look good from his perspective.
Taking it a day at a time. I’ll do my own thing the last two days of these 5 if needed ( if running out of patience ). We have four days just us after that but it just seems so far away.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 09:27 AM
He told her he had plans but I don’t won’t them getting jealous and thinking all his free days should be for them and hating the people he has plans with. But whatever and oh well!
His daughter is calling him incessantly asking if he’s going somewhere and of course trying to beg him into picking her up on a non-scheduled day.
You’re right I really have no problem with him getting them and taking them OUT but bringing them back to this house unplanned will bring rage out. His kids wanted to come to this house and just lay around while we went out.
Um no ma’am. Only mfs enjoying a quiet house is people who pay bills. If they want to lay around the house they can do that at Berthas house. If they want to see him again fine but he needs to take them OUT then back to Berthas.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 09:30 AM
So you’re not hanging out with them all 5 days he has his visits? Oh you mean no couples one on one time for these next few days
I see what you mean now.
If he had planned some day camps for her he could have a bit more couples time with you.
He’s probably thinking the 4 days after will be the reward if you just wait through the initial 5
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 10:42 AM
I hate this line.
I'm SO glad my partner has never said it !
BOTH your relationship and the kid/s need to be prioritized !
I hate that sentence SO much. I feel like men should NOT say this to women.
Like .... of course in an *emergency* if on an odd week you are down to your last $20 or something it goes to the kids.
How often do these types of emergencies actually in occur in day to day life ?
I feel like this statement is a " test " for potential abuse . SO SO glad partner hasn't said it ever.
- the kids needs come first
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 10:45 AM
He's going to try to create windows he said.
I guess my take is ..... um .... I'd like to know NOW when these windows are haha.
If he creates a couple of them that is great.
So you’re not hanging out with them all 5 days he has his visits? Oh you mean no couples one on one time for these next few days
I see what you mean now.
If he had planned some day camps for her he could have a bit more couples time with you.
He’s probably thinking the 4 days after will be the reward if you just wait through the initial 5
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 10:48 AM
Yes, I would greatly prefer a structured time frame Mon - Wed. on the business hour days in particular. :/
THIS would be the PERFECT TIME to see the day camps in action ( creating easy windows ) !
I feel like I can't really demand anything on the weekend.
The weekend days are the days we SHOULD be hanging out !
I guess I actually feel like THIS time frame ( when partners haven't seen each other in 6 days ) would be a good time to schedule a babysitter or get together with a family member. Like ..... if I *could* I WOULD suggest a date night for us for tomorrow ( in a longer time frame than the two hours I got this morning ). I just don't plan on suggesting it. If I run out of patience I'll do a mini trip for myself to Vegas or something the last two days. I actually have the AirBnB open today and tomorrow but since I also just traveled I am really not in the mood to pack a bag and drive over today. I probably will tomorrow though !
It honestly just feels like I am getting SCAMMED lol with the last 5 days on the calendar and the next 5 ! I got *two hours* ( so far ) with my partner and that is it .
At times when I'm really low on patience like this I see that I need to make a move with the property up North. I probably need to sell at the end of the year and transfer to something nicer to hold and continue to rent it out when I'm not using it. IF for some reason I needed to move back I would not be happy at that place.
If he had planned some day camps for her he could have a bit more couples time with you.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 04:06 PM
Summer with divorced men with kids……….it’s rough!!!!!!!
Thankfully L is sticking to his 2 days a week still but the thought of when he’s off more than two days, stupidly tells his kids he’s off more than two days, and the pressure they put on him especially his son to linger around here more than two days brings me a lot of anxiety.
I’m also frustrated L seems to be immature af with finances splurging on dining out but won’t fill up the fridge when he sees it empty. I swear if I have to fill this fridge up he will be doing the cooking and cleaning.
I’m about one empty fridge away from pinging my sugar daddy
Staci
07-16-2022, 04:51 PM
Thankfully L is sticking to his 2 days a week still but the thought of when he’s off more than two days, stupidly tells his kids he’s off more than two days, and the pressure they put on him especially his son to linger around here more than two days brings me a lot of anxiety.
Doesn't he have 50/50 custody?
Aurora_Sunset
07-16-2022, 05:37 PM
I get he doesn't wanna "lie" but sometimes, you gotta. We'll lie sometimes and say we have to work to get out of a request to have the kids an extra day or night. We don't want to lie, but bio-mom won't accept "we have plans" or just simply that we want a night off to ourselves as a valid reason. And then she ropes the kids into calling and guilt-tripping my husband. It's not good for anyone. We all have the right to not have the kids extra time for any personal reason. But if it's gonna cause the ex-wife to harass you or the kids to feel badly, then telling a white lie is better for everyone involved.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 05:47 PM
Doesn't he have 50/50 custody?
He has a divorce agreement from 3+ years ago they never go by it because situations have changed and they won’t go get an updated one so they just do whatever they think is fair.
At current he usually gets two days off from his job. Those two days are usually during the weekend but can be random days during the week.
The kids threw around the idea of staying at this house while he works during the day to get an even 50/50 but Bertha said she ain’t want another woman around her kids and I didn’t want the extra obligation (his kids are loud and needy) so they stay with her while L is at work.
He also started paying her child support since she does have them more days. So my mindset is if you’re paying her since she has extra days then keep the agreements and stop letting those kids change the schedules on a whim which gives them too much control and creates instability and uncertainty.
He just recently took and damn week off and told his kids. So of course they assume he has nothing to do and they’re expecting extra days and have been hounding him for such.
He did give them his usual two days.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 05:48 PM
I get he doesn't wanna "lie" but sometimes, you gotta. We'll lie sometimes and say we have to work to get out of a request to have the kids an extra day or night. We don't want to lie, but bio-mom won't accept "we have plans" or just simply that we want a night off to ourselves as a valid reason. And then she ropes the kids into calling and guilt-tripping my husband. It's not good for anyone. We all have the right to not have the kids extra time for any personal reason. But if it's gonna cause the ex-wife to harass you or the kids to feel badly, then telling a white lie is better for everyone involved.
i agree. If mfs could be mature, respect boundaries, and accept “I have plans, I’m sick, etc” then they wouldn’t have to be lied to.
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 06:00 PM
Yes, good reason to fib.
I personally think my partner should have. He is tired today .
If he just said he needed 7 days for this trip instead of 6 it would have been nicer all around giving him a recovery day.
Like you described ...... I have a feeling just asking for a recovery day would have gotten commentary.
I actually don't know though since I let them do ALL the scheduling stuff and pick ups / drops .
I get he doesn't wanna "lie" but sometimes, you gotta. We'll lie sometimes and say we have to work to get out of a request to have the kids an extra day or night. We don't want to lie, but bio-mom won't accept "we have plans" or just simply that we want a night off to ourselves as a valid reason. And then she ropes the kids into calling and guilt-tripping my husband. It's not good for anyone. We all have the right to not have the kids extra time for any personal reason. But if it's gonna cause the ex-wife to harass you or the kids to feel badly, then telling a white lie is better for everyone involved.
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 06:02 PM
That is FOR SURE.
During the last visit she spent TWO hours ( total ) away from us. He just won't put her in anything.
The only reason J busted out his Uncle was that he knew he would be facing a full 7-8 days without sexxin if he didn't create a couple hours of a window.
I don't want to demand it ( the activities ) even though obviously we all know how I feel .
I'm just counting the days till school.
He is also taking work off Tuesday for no reason.
Um .... ok.
I've got to say .... I sure am jealous of those 2 days currently given that I did one and have four more coming up. :/
Well .... J did anyway. I saw them for like 20 minutes at Noon ,went to an art gallery, went to the Elvis movie, then saw them 30 minutes at 5:45.
He was very sweet and ordered some Hawaiian food for us and I picked it up on my way back. I don't want to nitpick but his daughter is a little bit gross to eat with ( at certain times it bothers me more than others ). She rushes really bad and it's pretty sloppy at times . I feel kind of bad because I know it needs correction.
Summer with divorced men with kids……….it’s rough!!!!!!!
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:16 PM
L want to hang out with his sister in law and she said to bring his kids to their house. First of all they are fine at Berthas
But if he agrees…fine. As long as he does NOT agree to bring them back to this house afterwards.
What part of stick to your parenting plan is not getting through your thick skull. No point of paying the bitch child support if you’re going to voluntarily tack on extra parenting days.
I have a feeling his ass is going to be guilt tripped and they will land here unplanned and without my consent.
I’m going to be prepared to leave him with those kids if I get stuck with them here tomorrow night and Sunday.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:24 PM
I feel ya on the grossness Carmen
L himself is really sloppy when he eats. I hate when people talk with their mouth full of food, eat really fast, make loud smacking and crunching and gulping noises, and stuff their mouth with large quantities of food in one bite.
His daughter tries to have manners.
I usually don’t eat with them because I like eating alone. My therapist said I should plan a picnic so everyone can dine together at least once a month.
Pray for ya girl.
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 06:28 PM
^ You really don't eat with them at all ?
I have avoided *certain* meals but I usually eat with them at least once in the day.
I think at this point I'm honestly feeling pretty hurt if I am fully transparent.
I kind of lost track but I feel like we had her three days ( with the whopping two hour window .... thanks so much ) , then he traveled 5, and now it's 5 on the calendar. I just feel like he should just acknowledge "this is A LOT considering we didn't travel together like usual" . Just factoring the start of his trip that is TEN days. It would be really nice to know we had a date night booked for tomorrow or something to break up the TEN days ( 5 in different states and 5 with his daughter here ).
Miss P : I really hope L doesn't bring them over short notice. You guys have talked about that. He knows you are not ok with it. It's also summer. There is a million things to do that don't involve just lingering at the house.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:31 PM
L want to hang out with his sister in law and she said to bring his kids to their house. First of all they are fine at Berthas
But if he agrees…fine. As long as he does NOT agree to bring them back to this house afterwards.
What part of stick to your parenting plan is not getting through your thick skull. No point of paying the bitch child support if you’re going to voluntarily tack on extra parenting days.
I have a feeling his ass is going to be guilt tripped and they will land here unplanned and without my consent.
I’m going to be prepared to leave him with those kids if I get stuck with them here tomorrow night and Sunday.
I wish I could respectfully tell him to take them BOTH (his son and daughter) back to Berthas house at the end of the day if they come out with us tomorrow. But I don’t know how to say it without him getting offended. I really hate how the thinks having his son over is like having a ghost over. Still gotta deal with him talking loudly on his video game chats, staying up all night doing god knows what, not throughly cleaning up after himself, eating up all the food, invading my space, etc
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:34 PM
^ You really don't eat with them at all ?
I have avoided *certain* meals but I usually eat with them at least once in the day.
In all fairness the kitchen table is small af. Comfortably seats 2 maybe 3 people.
And I don’t want to sit shoulder to shoulder. I’ve avoided contracting COVID thus far and not trying to get it so I don’t like to be too close to people
If we happen to be sitting at the table at the same time cool. But not like a Brady bunch meal where EVERYONE is at the table.
if we had a larger space and larger table perhaps.
That’s why the therapist recommended a picnic at a park or something where there is more space and less COVID concerns.
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:36 PM
^ You really don't eat with them at all ?
I have avoided *certain* meals but I usually eat with them at least once in the day.
I think at this point I'm honestly feeling pretty hurt if I am fully transparent.
I kind of lost track but I feel like we had her three days ( with the whopping two hour window .... thanks so much ) , then he traveled 5, and now it's 5 on the calendar. I just feel like he should just acknowledge ..... hey .... this is A LOT considering we didn't travel together like usual . Just factoring the start of his trip that is TEN days. It would be really nice to know we had a date night booked for tomorrow or something to break up the TEN days.
Do you think he will acknowledge it without you having to bring it up and make the wait worth your while? Or does he seem oblivious?
im such a loner that I’m dying for at least 24hrs away from L AND his kids. But I could see how having too much time “uncoupled” could start to make the mind wonder
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 06:41 PM
^ I'm not sure what to advise. On on hand he *does* have the time off.
On the other, does he want to just use it pissing you off and crowding you haha ?
carmen_b
07-16-2022, 06:46 PM
I think he knows we need a window because our 90 min. this morning was not enough.
His sister is in town arriving tomorrow ( the one from up North ).
Maybe she will help out a bit ? Of course ..... I don't KNOW currently what time frame. It's probably best to try to remain calm haha.
He even asked me ( since he knows I have the AirBnB tomorrow ) .... " Do you have the AirBnB Monday too ?"
I don't think it's open but I was " wait , why ?" . I think he was wanting to come THERE .
NO ..... your family can take your daughter out somewhere for at least a couple hours.
I don't care if the sister stays at all ( during kid days ) .
I just hate it when people are here during our couple only days.
Do you think he will acknowledge it without you having to bring it up and make the wait worth your while? Or does he seem oblivious?
miss.a.p1600
07-16-2022, 06:47 PM
^He does have the time off but I feel like he shouldn’t have told them he has all this time off so now the divorced dad guilt kicks in
It is pissing me off because it’s unplanned and unfair to me because I want to know in advance when there coming so I can mentally and physically prepare. Those kids are needy as shit, they complain about being bored, complain about being too hot (and kept adjusting my thermostat without my permission), eat hella food, I can’t walk around scantily clad and have to censor myself, and just it’s A LOT of mental and emotional energy I have to expend when they come over. Which is why I dread it. But I dread it less if it’s planned and short term vs sprung on me the day of or longer than 2 days
I’m just going to let them run him around and leave out if he does say some “oh the kids are spending the night with us tonight”
If he wants to be a manservant and wear himself out on his off days right before going to work and spend extra money on top of what he gives Bertha then so be it. I’m not going to sit around and agree to it or see it or take part in it.
I’m going to make my own LAST MINUTE plans if he spring those kids on me last minute