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Bella21
12-10-2003, 03:37 PM
Yup, definately ready for an older guy. So... I feel really stupid but... I tried to stay friends with my ex. He was in my car... and stole $200 out of it! I got it back... he's having some real problems that involve his step bro who has some warrents out for his arrest, giving the police my ex's name instead of his own when he got pulled over... and never cleared the ticket or anything. Anywaz, that's still no excuse. The problem with the bouncer? Well, he's basically a loser. Has a warrent out for his arrest too. Not attractive to me AT ALL. I finally shook the guy... I think. I haven't been able to work for a month since I have a really bad infection in my leg. He finally has stopped calling me. I'm just wondering what will happen when I go back to work (should be in a week, whew). I think my problems definately is that I need an older guy with his head on straight and his dick not the most important thing in the world.

themuse
12-12-2003, 10:17 AM
I can totally understand what lestat is saying. Finding someone perfect for you should not be your goal. The key is to know what is the most important to you. There are things about our mates we should be able to look over, and other things that are intolerable. You have to decide in what area you are willing to compromise. I am willing to date a sports fan, as long as he is intelligent and well-read. I am willing to forgive a few extra pounds if he compliments me often. I am willing to date a man with poor credit history if he does his share with housework. See, priorities. We set ourselves up for disappointment by expecting the perfect movie romance complete with sappy soundtrack. Real life isn't always tied up with pretty bows like we wish it could be. Imagine a person is a gift. That gift may be all wrapped with shiny paper, no tape showing, with smooth lines and a big curly ribbon around it. Or it may be a brown paper bag held together with duct tape and kindergarten paste. Sure, the shiny one glistens when you hold it up to the light, but you can only play with the pretty package for so long before you want to rip the paper off and know what's inside. I guess what I am trying to say is...know what to put on your wish list.

futura
12-12-2003, 10:18 AM
Not all guys who are "good guys" are really "good guys" most say they are at first then once they get you to fall in love with them there true colors come out. Because they know you are in love with them they will walk all over you. I dont know about your situation but i found that the best relationships come from friends you've known along time. That way you know there true self rather then some guy putting up a front. I'm a "nice" guy now but back when i was younger i had my problems, i cheated and said anything the girl wanted to hear just so they would fall in love with me. But now that im older and married to a wonderful wife i look back and see myself how i was and i hate the guy i was. But bella just hold out for the right guy, just because he's older doesnt mean hes a good guy. I know alot of older guys who cant wait to get away from there wife so they can cheat.
just be carful.

Pamela
12-12-2003, 10:28 AM
Friends first! Gosh if i did that with my former bf, we would probably be fine. We threw ourselves into a tornado! Went to fast, did not talk much, and i blame myself for alot of the problems. Because i could have spoken up. Talked, made a date.

I agree, a friend can be the best one ever to fall in love with, they already know the "real" you.

I want friends first. Something i did not do. Sex too soon, and not much else going on.

We never revealed our true colours i think. Untill it was too late, and i tried to go back and be a friend. He wont allow it.
So sad to share so many years, and then not talk anymore, i feel we had no closure. Thats the hard part. What did i do that was so wrong. We seemed the same, but showed it in different ways.

Pamela :ashamed:

futura
12-12-2003, 10:40 AM
friend relationships are one of the hardest things to do. I met my wife back in highschool. we didnt talk but we knew of eachother. I was dating her friend at the time. Years went by when we met again. We hung out alot at first, just getting to know eachother. She was a horny toad but i wasnt sure i wanted to get involved and get hurt agian. after talking and telling each other about what we wanted in life at the moment helped me. Now 3 years later we are married with a house, 2 dogs , and some cats. And looking to have children. Having her in my life is a blessing, at the time i met her i was draging myself downhill fast. I lost my father to cancer and i didnt care about anything anymore. She helped me look at life again. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her or make her sad.

Leaving a BF or a GF without closure is hard.

If you show your true colors in the beginning your relationship will go further in the long run.