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Scarlett.Oz
04-25-2008, 06:02 PM
I haven't read the entire thread but......

When out in a regular bar your boyfriend has to keep reminding you to pull the front of your top up and stop fondling your boobs (After telling him to do so earlier cos you know you'll forget).

When you lay down in bed at night (morning) you automatically point your toes and arch your back.

When you used to be hot stuff on a regular dancefloor but can't seem to remember how to dance normally anymore.

When a good selling point for new clothes is ease of removal.

When you have permanently purple knees.

When you're more afraid of telling your boyfriend/girlfriends parent what you do than actually meeting them.

When you can smile in pain with relative ease.

Oh there's so many more, I can feel them all coming back since I started again...


XXXS

Lysondra
04-25-2008, 07:37 PM
When you talk loudly, in public, around children about your detailed sex life because you 'forgot' where you were.

badpixie
04-27-2008, 12:13 AM
When your yoga instructor has to tell you repeatedly to tuck your tail bone under instead of way, way out.

When you get over your nervousness in front of a crowd by picturing yourself naked.

noelle
04-27-2008, 10:46 AM
When you get over your nervousness in front of a crowd by picturing yourself naked.

LOL!!! I love this.

Lysondra
04-27-2008, 10:51 AM
I do too! hahahaha.

UV69
04-27-2008, 11:35 AM
When you think a nail salon, mall, spa..ect should be open at 6am for you.

When dressing up means wearing more and showing less then you ussually wear to work.

When your closest female friends have wore yr bras, night gowns ect..

When you actaully own a top that you wear knowing somehow yr nippels show and you don't think twice about wearing it out to a club.

When you can run in 9inch heels faster then most girls can in sneakers

When a cop pulls you over and you are thinking of how to turn that ticket into a tip oppertunity

When other women are flashing for shock value or beads and you want to lecture them about how they should atleast make a buck for doing so

Lysondra
04-27-2008, 11:45 AM
Today I realized I have seen felt and licked all of my best friends' tits.

winterrose
04-27-2008, 06:21 PM
The cab company knows your voice and sends the right driver.

Drag queens buy your old outfits/shoes for their cabaret shows.

You have two drinks of choice... vodka cranberry at work, and fuzzy navels when not at work.

you know your friends bra/ pant/ shoe sizes better than your kids sizes.

bright lights in your house is anything over 25 watts

you think there is nothing strange about your friends bending over naked and asking can you see anything?

your jewlery is seperated into work.. and normal, and the normal isn't worn anymore. and borrowing your daughter's plastic disney hair stuff/ or necklaces is normal.

it doesn't feel weird that your husband has seen all your friends naked. It feels more weird if there is one he hasn't seen that way. and you prefer her not to be alone with him. but the ones he has seen naked, you have no problem with them being out somewhere alone together.

you have checked the registered sex offender list to make sure your neighborhood is safe and realize some of your best customers are on the list. eww.

everything smells like vanilla.

you get a christmas gift of body sprays and lotions and think...wow, I don't have to buy this for work for at least two weeks.

friends that don't work in the clubs buy you stuff to work in, or sew your outfits back together for you.

a skirt outfit for me in the real world now is ankle length peasant skirts.

your taxi driver brings you food and goes to the liquor store for you. and thinks nothing of it.

you buy bras that will go with your normal clothes and look good on stage.

AlexxaHex
04-27-2008, 07:18 PM
Today I realized I have seen felt and licked all of my best friends' tits.

I can has frendships?

curvycutie817
04-27-2008, 08:39 PM
when you get home or wake up and you still have your garter around your leg

Haha I've expierienced that many times!!

curvycutie817
04-27-2008, 08:43 PM
When your boyfriend is like "How come you never dress up for me?"

*Obligatory Puppy dog eyes follow*

My boyfriend alwayyyyyys says this to me. And I always reply with "okay, seeing me in natural light(while wearing work clothes) and is black light is way different!"
Yeah, I fuckin have cellulite and all that shit lol... and at work, everything looks alright, but in fuckin daylight, yeah..... you wont catch me in booty shorts and thigh highs lol

iambonbon05
04-27-2008, 08:44 PM
you have checked the registered sex offender list to make sure your neighborhood is safe and realize some of your best customers are on the list. eww.

Eek! :-X

TigersMilk
04-27-2008, 08:50 PM
everything smells like vanilla.
I read: everything smells like vagina. LOllerz.


you get a christmas gift of body sprays and lotions and think...wow, I don't have to buy this for work for at least two weeks.
I so think that. Got a VS card for xmas and thinking "great now I can buy some lotion/outfits for work".

peanutbutter007
04-27-2008, 09:32 PM
When you know the names of all the sexually connotative drinks that many regular bars/restaurants have never heard of:
Wet Pussy
Buttery Nipple
Sixty-Nine
Lickety Split
Tea Bag on the Rocks

and my favorite....
The Bloody Tampon :ill:

kitty69
04-27-2008, 11:09 PM
Your knees feel like someone has tried to bend them the wrong way...

Your predictive text fills in your stage name instead of your real name....

you can identify the name of an aftershave from 100 paces...

you have to remember when 'your' song comes on that you don't have to swish you hair or start rubbing yourself....

if you hear a stage song you start swaying your hips like 'miss thing'...

every song you hear on the radio is potential for work....

it no longer seems strange eating curry at 5am....

you only shave your legs at the weekend.....

RoseLeigh
04-27-2008, 11:20 PM
you have to remember when 'your' song comes on that you don't have to swish you hair or start rubbing yourself....

This is why I only dance to genres I don't like that much!



you only shave your legs at the weekend.....

I am a fur beast!

-You can make all the stripper jokes you want, but get mad if your SO does.

-Occasionally you have to remind yourself to stop being wide-eyed and impressed at everyone.

Lysondra
04-28-2008, 12:35 AM
This is why I only dance to genres I don't like that much!


I am a fur beast!

-You can make all the stripper jokes you want, but get mad if your SO does.

-Occasionally you have to remind yourself to stop being wide-eyed and impressed at everyone.

Hey, I make myself fair game to anyone. :P

Andygirl
04-28-2008, 07:40 AM
and my favorite....
The Bloody Tampon :ill:


I remember that night! Didn't it have iced tea and tequila in it? Barf.

atlmorgan
04-28-2008, 07:53 AM
1) you have "boyfriends" who don't know your real name-or much else about you.
2) you have a 'pretend' job so when someone says what do you do you have a quick answer.
3) someone pays you a few hundred to"take the day off" and spend it with them.
4)your kitty hair looks like a well manicured go-tee
5)you have 2 cell phones one for friends and one for custys

Gypsy14
04-28-2008, 11:24 AM
you have to remember when 'your' song comes on that you don't have to swish you hair or start rubbing yourself....



LOL this is SOOO me! Sweet Child O' Mine has long since been my best stage song, and EVERY time it comes on- at a party, a bar, a club, or anywhere else- I just automatically launch into my routine- I cannot resist!!! There's even a point where I simulate jumping on the pole where I always do.
Too funny.

kitty69
04-28-2008, 11:33 AM
When your work bag contains the following...

A sewing kit
Scissors
Femfresh
Baby wipes
False eyelashes
False nails
Nail and eyelash glue
Body spray
Perfume
Extra super tampons ( no leakage!!)
Nail varnish
Mouthwash
Plasters
Safety pins




When you think it is normal to bend over so your boyfriend can see if you have managed to get all the hair that may be hiding in your butt crack oops sorry is that just me???

charlie61
04-28-2008, 05:28 PM
..... when you are standing in line at shop and you find yourself swaying your hips to the music, then realise everyone is looking at you

..... when you are in public and you automatically reach down your top and adjust your breasts without thinking


Ah! I am so guilty of this!! These are awesome!!!

charlie61
04-29-2008, 09:13 AM
When you used to be hot stuff on a regular dancefloor but can't seem to remember how to dance normally anymore.

When a good selling point for new clothes is ease of removal.

When you have permanently purple knees.

When you're more afraid of telling your boyfriend/girlfriends parent what you do than actually meeting them.

XXXS

SOOO TRUE! Especially the SO's parent one!!!

LEIGH_LANDON
04-29-2008, 11:13 AM
Hmmmm, thinking nothing of it talking to your girlfriends with the bathroom door open taking a pee!

not wearing a bra during normal hours becasue they seem like props not clothing.

wearing thong underwear on your own time - cuz full bottom underwear seems uber goofy!

zxcire
04-29-2008, 11:19 AM
-Occasionally you have to remind yourself to stop being wide-eyed and impressed at everyone.

SO TRUE! It takes me a while after work to wind down and get the fake smile and big eyes off my face. :D I'm such a weirdo at the store after work. PJ pants, hoodie, and full stripper makeup, fake eyelashes, big smile alternating with frowns when I remember where I am.

Morgan_TX
04-29-2008, 11:22 AM
When "getting ready for work" involves shaving your legs, kitty, and butthole, along with touching up your pedicure, applying fake eyelashes, and then throwing on pajamas and flip-flops.

kitty69
04-29-2008, 11:36 AM
SO TRUE! It takes me a while after work to wind down and get the fake smile and big eyes off my face. :D I'm such a weirdo at the store after work. PJ pants, hoodie, and full stripper makeup, fake eyelashes, big smile alternating with frowns when I remember where I am.

This is me, usually wandering around 24 hour supermarket on way home. If Dan picks me up I am usually quite drunk too!

shasta
04-29-2008, 11:39 AM
^^there are many things that are different us vs. uk. It is comforting to me that the stripper makeup in PJ pants and hoodie at the 24 supermarket is something we have in common.

kitty69
04-29-2008, 02:36 PM
After spending so many hours on SW (and it has been a lot!) I have realized that no matter where we all are in the world things really aren't that different.:)

SuzieQ523
04-30-2008, 08:33 PM
^^ agreed!

VeraLynn
04-30-2008, 09:18 PM
When "getting ready for work" involves shaving your legs, kitty, and butthole, along with touching up your pedicure, applying fake eyelashes, and then throwing on pajamas and flip-flops.

Glad I'm not the only one who has to do this.... ::)

AmArticia
04-30-2008, 10:51 PM
you have to remember when 'your' song comes on that you don't have to swish you hair or start rubbing yourself....

if you hear a stage song you start swaying your hips like 'miss thing'...


I try not to be too posessive about "my" songs (with the exception of anything by AFI or Blaqk Audio which I staunchly believe no other stripper on the face of the planet should ever be allowed to dance to...with the noted exception of Ally for she got me into this and she also has far cooler AFI ink than yours truly) but sometimes I can't help it.

Unfortunately, every time I wind up in the synthpop room at The Church they always play Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge...definitely one of the songs I have routined...and it NEVER fails that I will be sucking face with the nearest goth boy by the end of the song. It's like I go into work mode, but the "customers" tend to be hotter and I'm completely allowed to make out with them.

I made that mistake one night with a guy who reaked of patchouli and I was freaked as hell the next day at work cause I SWORE I smelled like patchouli despite multiple showers.

The last time that happened some rivithead tried to maul half my face off...apparently he failed to realise that teeth make not a good makeout sesh.

bellasera
04-30-2008, 11:34 PM
When you go to a bachelorette party and win a lingerie set you think, sweet new work clothes!

When shaving your puss is more important than your legs, because you can throw on a pair of thigh-highs.

austinatalie
05-01-2008, 12:46 AM
When shaving your puss is more important than your legs, because you can throw on a pair of thigh-highs.

ohhh yeah!

kitty69
05-01-2008, 10:50 AM
You can get drunk and nekkid at work and you don't get sacked..;D

Polekitten
05-01-2008, 10:59 AM
Yeay! This is one of my favourite threads of all time, I'm so glad its been bumped.

loveandluxury
05-01-2008, 11:34 AM
When friends ask what I'm doing on Saturday night I tell them I'll "be at my office".

Joplin
05-06-2008, 01:00 PM
When you hop in the shower with a garter on.

oops.

AmArticia
05-06-2008, 01:43 PM
You can get drunk and nekkid at work and you don't get sacked..;D

When you can get drunk at work under age and on a weekday...and not get sacked.

When your DJ de-edges you *AHEM!* for entertainment purposes on a slow day.

austinatalie
05-06-2008, 08:49 PM
When you can get drunk at work under age and on a weekday...and not get sacked.


not here!

MissAlethea
05-08-2008, 10:54 AM
When you go to the store and they have a sign on the register that says "We need ones!", after you leave, they have to put up a sign "We need anything BUT ones!"

AmArticia
05-08-2008, 11:52 AM
^
I go in to Raves Oh My Goth once every week or two here for eyelashes and the owner Raven and I are down to the point where she buys stacks of ones off me to last for the week.

I go to the Bank Of Goth, lol.

h2007
05-09-2008, 10:51 PM
isnt that pretty stupid? thats the same as saying, you know your a construction worker when you have dirt stuck under your nails from shoveling dirt at a construction site.

ViolaStrings
05-09-2008, 10:54 PM
deleted

aussiebelle
05-09-2008, 10:58 PM
deleted

Sunshine73
05-10-2008, 12:52 AM
When you are sitting at home in silence but the club music is still blaring in your head...

punkpixie001
05-10-2008, 03:11 AM
When you are sitting at home in silence but the club music is still blaring in your head...

Truer words were never spoken

LickMyLovePump
05-10-2008, 11:30 AM
...when you lick my love pump.

goldengrl69
05-10-2008, 10:50 PM
When someone ask me what's my name, and I reply with my club name on accident.

LilyLove
05-11-2008, 12:07 AM
GoldenGrl, This is OT, but every time I see your sig it makes me feel kinda peaceful and happy. Its a good thing to remember.