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tassi
05-21-2008, 11:45 AM
i've caught myself pricing things on the number of dances it will take to get them...like, "wow, i really like that dress, and look at that, it only costs 3 dances" instead of $60. i'm sucha nerd :)

Peanut_Butter
05-21-2008, 12:02 PM
When you take a month off work and lose your fake tan,( no reason to fake tan if nobody sees u naked, right?) so you have to apply tan lotion 3 times in one day so you don't glow under the black light your first night back.

jazznasty
05-26-2008, 10:30 AM
---you spot a brand new box of baby wipes by a parking spot curb...walk up the street, walk back,,.look around to see if anyone's looking, and snatch them like they were yours.

----your period blood is neon pink! (i thought of this one in the dressing room with vonniestarrr when my white jumpsuit with neon trim had happened to "bleed" onto the crotch area when I washed it.

papillonluvr
05-26-2008, 08:02 PM
you time how long something is or how long it takes to get somewhere by how many songs it is.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 08:19 PM
you time how long something is or how long it takes to get somewhere by how many songs it is.

Hahah. So true. Or when you never know the end of a song because they cut it off at 3:30.

peanutbutter007
05-27-2008, 08:48 PM
When you walk into your closet or bedroom and jump in fear when you find a rodent or something like it lying on top of your bag...only to realize it's your wig or hairpiece you whipped off your head from the night before. (I had to laugh at myself the other day!!)

UltraFoxie
06-21-2008, 10:50 AM
You know your a stripper when you bend over in the mirror to check the thongal region and realize your "nondancer" friends are looking at you crazy because your not at work

UltraFoxie
06-21-2008, 10:54 AM
You know your a stripper when you find crumpled up dollars in your many different bags or under the couch where you count your money.

When you have thongs in your purse that you are taking home to wash, or bringing back to work

When you stay home on your nights off to get some peace and quite.

When you leave a club and don't put on any music to give your ears a break

When you can desribe just about any chick by the shape size and form of her breasts

When you know what liquid latex is

xParisx
06-21-2008, 11:42 PM
You know you are a stripper when...
you unconsciously start swiveling your hips while either standing in line at the grocery store or hanging out at a "regular" bar.



haha i've done this and my friend just turns round and goes "hunny, you're not at work"

ediblecrayonz
06-22-2008, 09:08 AM
When your skirt rides up in public, about 4 inches of your ass is showing, and you have no clue

Nuclear Martini
07-20-2008, 07:23 PM
When your yoga instructor has to tell you repeatedly to tuck your tail bone under instead of way, way out.

When you get over your nervousness in front of a crowd by picturing yourself naked.

HAHAHA! }:D

xParisx
07-21-2008, 12:26 AM
...when you have 2 myspace accounts: one for work and one for general and people accuse you of stealing photos as theyve seen the photos on my other account haha

Alexis81
07-21-2008, 01:49 PM
When you consider weekends to be Sunday and Monday.
You walk into a bar and are thrilled to get a shot and beer for five dollars.
Pull a thong out of your purse at Walmart while digging for money and don't understand the strange look you got from the cashier.
The gas station attendant next door to your club knows exactly the brand of cigarettes everyone at your club smokes and they are always in stock.
You think nothing about going out at 10pm or still being in bed at 5pm.

Janay
07-21-2008, 09:19 PM
You know your a stripper when, your daughter confronts you about the stack of mixed CDs she found with her name on them.

ediblecrayonz
07-21-2008, 09:30 PM
You know your a stripper when, your daughter confronts you about the stack of mixed CDs she found with her name on them.

Did you give your daughter your stripper name?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Otoki
08-26-2008, 10:07 AM
When you find yourself knocking your feet together rhythmically, and then look down dismayed to find that you're not wearing platforms.

rozz
08-26-2008, 10:18 AM
You can't reach the top cupboard in your kitchen, so rather than buy a stepstool, you leave a pair of 8" Pleasers by the sink.

MissAlethea
08-28-2008, 08:30 PM
^^ I do the platform shoes in the kitchen thing! It cracks my husband up, because I'm bopping around the kitchen making coffee in the morning in the Rattiest T-Shirt Known to Man™, granny panties, and stripper shoes. I also once forgot to take them off when one of the neighbors knocked on the door, answered in PJs and platforms. It was pretty awesome.

Lysondra
08-28-2008, 08:45 PM
Hahaha I do that to change lightbulbs. I have a pair of nine inchers I can slip on to get into ANYTHING.

txchick008
08-29-2008, 05:40 AM
^^ I do the platform shoes in the kitchen thing! It cracks my husband up, because I'm bopping around the kitchen making coffee in the morning in the Rattiest T-Shirt Known to Man™, granny panties, and stripper shoes. I also once forgot to take them off when one of the neighbors knocked on the door, answered in PJs and platforms. It was pretty awesome.


This remind me of something I catch myself doing almost EVERY shift. When I'm about to go home, I change into my A&F shorts, thin tank top, and flip flops. I always catch myself walking out, STILL wearing a rhinestone choker, and rhinestone bracelet. Gawd. LMAO. ;D

Lysondra
08-29-2008, 07:14 AM
OH YEAH..

speaking of all that.

Once I was too lazy to take off my platforms. I now know I can drive in 7" heels.... hahahaha.

NewMoon
08-29-2008, 07:21 AM
^^^Just don't get pulled over LOL

Lysondra
08-29-2008, 07:22 AM
OMGOMG did I ever tell stripperweb about the time I was pulled over in my cop costume??

Polekitten
08-29-2008, 07:23 AM
OMGOMG did I ever tell stripperweb about the time I was pulled over in my cop costume??

Nope! Tell tell!

Lysondra
08-29-2008, 07:31 AM
Anyway it was for a random breath test (we have those here)... and I'm in FULL costume with thigh boots and the works.

Cop: Hi can you please.....um..... what are you doing?
Me: I swear officer, it wasn't on purpose....
Cop: Are you making fun of me?
Me: No officer...
Cop: Where are you going?
Me: Um... *checks GPS* Moorooka....
Cop: You weren't sure? What is this about?
Me: Um...er....(shitwhatdoIsay?) ... honestly officer, I'm a stripper and I'm on my way to a show.
Cop: Blow in this....
Me: *blows 0.00*
Cop: Well... that's surprising....
Me: I haven't drank!!!
Cop: That's what's surprising. You can go.

JDanielle
08-29-2008, 02:38 PM
Yesterday someone printed out an e-mail attachment with some of these on here and taped it to the mirror of our club DR. It was cute.

StrawberrySwitchblade
08-29-2008, 04:54 PM
When you mention "Sugar Daddies" to your stripper friend and she assume you mean wealthy older men, not your favorite candy.

Sierra30
08-29-2008, 05:15 PM
......You know you're a retired stripper when......you hear a song on the radio and say "I used to strip to that song!!"

hahahaha, ive done this!!!!!!!!

Otoki
08-31-2008, 02:33 PM
This remind me of something I catch myself doing almost EVERY shift. When I'm about to go home, I change into my A&F shorts, thin tank top, and flip flops. I always catch myself walking out, STILL wearing a rhinestone choker, and rhinestone bracelet. Gawd. LMAO. ;D

I've done that with my garter a few times. I try to go to bed, my leg feels weird, and I realize why.

Otoki
08-31-2008, 02:34 PM
Anyway it was for a random breath test (we have those here)... and I'm in FULL costume with thigh boots and the works.

Cop: Hi can you please.....um..... what are you doing?
Me: I swear officer, it wasn't on purpose....
Cop: Are you making fun of me?
Me: No officer...
Cop: Where are you going?
Me: Um... *checks GPS* Moorooka....
Cop: You weren't sure? What is this about?
Me: Um...er....(shitwhatdoIsay?) ... honestly officer, I'm a stripper and I'm on my way to a show.
Cop: Blow in this....
Me: *blows 0.00*
Cop: Well... that's surprising....
Me: I haven't drank!!!
Cop: That's what's surprising. You can go.
How mortifying. I'd be freaking out. Why weren't you wearing normal person clothes?

MissAlethea
08-31-2008, 03:32 PM
You know you're a stripper when you try on a pair of of the highest "normal" heels in the store and go "Wow.... these are really short....", and you can't figure out why your friends are looking at you funny in your 4.5 inch Steve Maddens.

Lysondra
08-31-2008, 06:16 PM
How mortifying. I'd be freaking out. Why weren't you wearing normal person clothes?

I was going between shows (pp dancer) and thought it'd just be easier to wear my outfit instead of changing to street clothes and back.

Nautilus
08-31-2008, 06:17 PM
you never bend your knees to pick up anything.... ever.

rozz
08-31-2008, 07:43 PM
you never bend your knees to pick up anything.... ever.

Yeah. I totally do this. All the time.

gingerlee
08-31-2008, 07:50 PM
^^Me too. I don't even realize I'm doing it.

Rosaki
09-21-2008, 11:46 AM
I'm not sure if this one has been said or not, but...
When you go to the store after work and you have to pay with soggy money cuz it's been in your boots all night.

lexi2008
09-21-2008, 10:11 PM
you never bend your knees to pick up anything.... ever.

Haha I did this just yesterday in front of family. Dropped my cell phone in the kitchen and without a second thought, I'm practically tip toed, straight legged, bent double and flexing my ass while I pick it up off the floor before I realize what I'm doing. :P

Rosaki
09-22-2008, 10:09 AM
You know your a stripper when you are walking around with monistat in your hair... :)

Otoki
09-22-2008, 10:50 AM
You know your a stripper when you are walking around with monistat in your hair... :)
Haha what an image!

StrawberrySwitchblade
09-22-2008, 11:41 AM
When making out with girls you work with and feeling bewbies is another day at the 'office.'

rozz
09-22-2008, 11:47 AM
When you're chatting with your 50-year-old neighbor and you find yourself touching his arm and laughing at his jokes just a *little bit* too much. Then his wife doesn't wave to you anymore.

I think I have some apology cookies to make.

Otoki
09-22-2008, 09:38 PM
When an older man compliments you in a "slightly too friendly" manner, and you just laugh it off while thinking "that's not the worst I've ever heard".

ellebelle
09-22-2008, 09:44 PM
When you clear four figures on Friday and again on Saturday and have no money by Monday. :(

davka
09-23-2008, 12:56 AM
you keep to yourself in public places- small talk with strangers, especially men, can be unbearable unless you're getting paid and you know your night will be full of it later.

davka
09-23-2008, 12:58 AM
When you clear four figures on Friday and again on Saturday and have no money by Monday. :(

damn- aint that the truth. lol.

Bianca O'Blivion
09-23-2008, 12:51 PM
* You use your Trade Secret Style Club card so much it's *UNREAL*

* You have the weirdest dilemmas, like burning your acrylic nail tips with a lit cigarette by accident, hitting your head on the tanning bed lid, and planning hairstyle changes like a engineer

* You catch yourself looking at Ben Franklin on the hundred dollar bill and thinking "I Love You".....

saphire123456
09-23-2008, 12:55 PM
you keep to yourself in public places- small talk with strangers, especially men, can be unbearable unless you're getting paid and you know your night will be full of it later.

i hate even being within 5 feet of them the days after I worked i start getting a nervous twitch:gnasher:

holly07
09-23-2008, 03:10 PM
3-4 inch heels feel like tennis shoes

When your at at regular club dancing and you have to tell yourself to not lift up your skirt and not to get pissed off because all the guys are staring and not tipping

angelicat
09-23-2008, 03:14 PM
You walk out of a public restroom stall, walk over to the mirror, and adjust your thong. Then, realize what the hell you are doing when a fellow restroomer walks out of another stall... Hmmmmm

angelicat
09-23-2008, 03:15 PM
You know your a stripper when you are walking around with monistat in your hair... :)

Hahahaha.....;D