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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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femmefatale88
08-31-2009, 01:15 AM
When you are at a regular crowded bar/club, and you have to control your urge to getting on the bar and and getting on all fours on it.

Lola_sinn
09-04-2009, 04:33 PM
When you have phone anxiety and you get over it by making important calls naked in your platforms.

ChoclatDiva21
09-04-2009, 04:48 PM
You know you are a stripper when...
you unconsciously start swiveling your hips while either standing in line at the grocery store or hanging out at a "regular" bar.

20 yrs later and I STILL do this!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

pinkfeather
11-03-2009, 11:50 PM
- when you have rubberbands everywhere, you have rubberbands around your wrists and ankles throughout the day/week because you always forget to take them off the night before

-constantly being secretive and avoid ppl so they don't ask questions

-you answer your phone/text days,weeks, months later, that is if you respond at all

-you screen your phone calls, hesitate to answer phones by habit even if they're ppl you know

-your car is also your closet

-you overtip at restaurants and other places

-you scope out rich men at bars, clubs, parties etc. even though you know you're not working and not going to make money from hanging out

-when you will only go to drive thru banks wearing sun glasses and will drive far even if there is a closer walk in only bank

-think of what you're going to say when you know you're going to dinner, party or any social event where ppl will be talking, asking questions that will lead to "what do you do for a living?"

-when some asks to go out and they ask, what's you're schedule like? or when do you have off? you have to really think about it

-you're constantly making up excuses not to hang out with ppl

GlitterBexie
11-09-2009, 02:38 PM
Having your male manager cutting labels out of your bra/thong etc whilst you are wearing them does not phase you, rather that than have them glow through ur underwear whilst on the pole! Id love to see what my day job boys would make of that! haha :D x

giada
11-09-2009, 04:15 PM
you don't have to listen to the radio for the latest music...

you tend to stay home on your nights off because working is just like going out but you get paid...

your neighbors think you go out of a town a lot...

you feel funny calling your best friend by their real name...

you walk your dog at 3am so you won't have to wake up at 6...

the people who work at your grocery store see you more often at 3am than 3pm...

you go thru more baby wipes than new mothers...

you've been a "student" for years but have no idea where the closest college/uni is...

your youtube recommendations are primarily pole tricks and pole competition videos...

dancersrights
12-08-2009, 07:43 PM
you have an great self esteem...

InTheSpirit
12-08-2009, 08:32 PM
When you do go out to "real" clubs with work friends and guys hit on you that you're not interested, you and your friend use your stripper names v. real names as code to communicate that you're not interested and want an excuse to leave!

Scarlette_Lucre
12-09-2009, 03:32 AM
When you flip through a magazine trying to teach girls how to do a sexy strip tease for their man and you think, "WRONG THE WHOLE THING"S WRONG! you don't turn like that! that song suggestion is horrible! that doesn't work."

When you draw a blank on your real name.

When you start to prefer your stage name to your own because it suits you better.

amaliasnightout
12-10-2009, 10:00 AM
You become so accustomed to your stage name that you stumble over your real name when introducing yourself to someone. "I'm Brit... oh wait, Amalia".

kaydence
01-17-2010, 04:20 PM
your laying in bed with a guy and talking and you don't realize that your playing with your tits!!!


hahaha.
i catch myself playing with my boobs ALL the time.


you know you're a stripper when your friends start requiring a "heads up" when you change your clothes in the living room, because you have forgotten that they don't see naked chicks all night every night, and could possibly be wierded out by you nonchalantly carrying on a conversation with them in the nude.

peachplumpear
01-17-2010, 04:31 PM
... you tell guys "I'll have to charge you if you keep staring" when you're in a bikini.

I had a pink glittery sticker that said "If you stare at me any longer, I'll have to charge you"

I only had it for a week before somebody scratched it off! :( *sniff sniff* Don't hate the playa, hate the game! I still can't figure out if it was a guy or a girl or somebody that I knew or not.

JayATee
01-21-2010, 03:54 AM
When in Deep winter the only places you go are
The Club
The Gym/Salon
Home
and for social reasons SW!

When you wanna try a new beauty product/ Diet etc and you do a search on SW first just to see what everyone else thinks.


+1!!!!!! Exactly me!!! LoL!!! :D

Jezzebelle
01-21-2010, 08:09 AM
Whenever a guy tries to impress you by saying how hot/sexy you are/look it falls flat as you hear it all the time and would rather a sincere comment about YOU.

Jezzebelle
01-21-2010, 08:11 AM
Having your male manager cutting labels out of your bra/thong etc whilst you are wearing them does not phase you, rather that than have them glow through ur underwear whilst on the pole! x


I used to get chased by the house mum brandishing scissors ALL the time!

Pixie_x
01-21-2010, 03:42 PM
-When you crack a rib at work and can't take time off because you'll legitimately lose your mind and feel worthless if you're not working.

-When you take a lunch break at work and awkwardly realize that all your money is wrapped around a garter under your pants when you go to pay for your food.

- When you feel incredibly awkward in any situation that involves no flirting or sexual innuendo.

-When you flirt and give lapdances all night but freak out at your boyfriend if he tries to touch you while you're sleeping.

-When you completely lose your shit if someone wakes you up before noon.

-When you can rant for a good hour at how unfair it is that your building management yells at you for making noise after 11 pm because some people have to work early in the morning and yet they have no qualms about sending maintenance to hammer on things at 6 in the morning and you feel like a killing spree is imminent and justified.

-When you give all your friends lapdances for christmas. All of them.

-When you feel miserably uncomfortable if you've been somewhere for more than 3 months.

-When you go through 4 different jobs in 3 months.

-When it takes you at least 2 hours to get your appearance just right, so you don't even bother in daily life.

-When you don't wear underwear outside of work because you need a break from it.

-When you own 30 pairs of underwear, but only two pairs of jeans, one jacket and a few shirts.

-When you don't know how to do normal makeup.

-When guys try to hit on you and you tell them you work at such and such club if they want to see you naked...because they're not going to in any under circumstance.

-When you're a bigger snob in daily life than ever.

-When you can't have close friendships or even a good conversation with anyone who isn't a stripper.

-When your adult male friends come to you for financial help.

-When you can only have a boyfriend who's financially dependent on you so he can't bitch about your job.

Pixie_x
01-21-2010, 03:45 PM
One more: When you leave work every day feeling like something really funny just happened...even if nothing out of the ordinary happened.

SerenaSin
01-22-2010, 10:01 AM
-When you just stop using a wallet altogether and keep your cash tied around a garter w/ a hair tie, and pull it out, garter and all, every time you take the bus or buy groceries or whatever... and sort of hope no one realizes what a garter is, but you also sort of dont give a shit.

-When you find yourself exercising your ass-cheeks whenever you're sitting or standing around and music is playing, lifting and dropping one cheek at a time.

-When you're at a dance party w/ your friends and theres hip hop playing and you have to resist the urge to bust out your stripper moves

-When you work dayshift @ a club and have to go straight from work to other social evening gatherings, like dinner/drinks w/ friends, political meetings, casual hang-outs... and you show up in your wig, rhinestone jewelry, and stripper makeup, so you look kinda tacky and out-of-place.

-When everyone loves hearing about how your day/night at work was.

-When you suddenly know more lesbians/bisexual women than you ever thought possible.

ViolaStrings
01-22-2010, 10:24 AM
That's not how you know you're a stripper, that's how you know you're a pushover and the men in your life are losers.



-When your adult male friends come to you for financial help.

-When you can only have a boyfriend who's financially dependent on you so he can't bitch about your job.

idreamofaislin
01-22-2010, 03:28 PM
That's not how you know you're a stripper, that's how you know you're a pushover and the men in your life are losers.

QFT

You know you're a stripper when you realize that you'll be able to afford the full cost of a new car up front in just a few months.

susie2
01-22-2010, 06:12 PM
When at the college bookstore the chick in front of me busts out a couple hundred ones and I felt obliged to help her w/her cover story...oh don't worry sweety I used to waitress too...it all spends...wink.

Camillian
01-22-2010, 06:38 PM
You sign your stage name to a check at the grocery store on accident.

You bend at the waist to pick stuff up instead of the knees without realizing it

You can tell where you know people from based on the name they call you

You stop responding to your real name

When you can no longer dance "normal" at a dance club, instead you start bending over and rubbing your own chest

Camillian
01-22-2010, 06:41 PM
You become so accustomed to your stage name that you stumble over your real name when introducing yourself to someone. "I'm Brit... oh wait, Amalia".

Ha ha, definitely a good one!

JayATee
01-24-2010, 03:57 AM
When at the college bookstore the chick in front of me busts out a couple hundred ones and I felt obliged to help her w/her cover story...oh don't worry sweety I used to waitress too...it all spends...wink.

The women in my registrars office are such bitches that just to piss them off I paid half my tuition in ones. }:D

Harlequin_Phoenix
06-05-2010, 04:14 AM
The saleslady informs you that the "skirt" you asked to look at is actually a belt.

CherryBomb954
06-05-2010, 05:03 AM
You are at the self-checkout at the grocery store, reach into your purse and realize you forgot to change in that $80 in ones from the night before.....and piss off the people behind you as you are feeding ones into the slot! I had two old ladies behind me one time when I did this making fucked up comments and huffing and puffing, all while not realizing there were TWO MORE fucking lanes open....I had enough of the mouth breathing noises they were making so I politely informed them there were two more open lanes.....they felt stupid and rolled their eyes at me!

Dany
06-05-2010, 06:16 AM
^^^LMAO! I love that you got them AFTER they had already decided YOU were the stupid one.

_Avery_
06-05-2010, 11:50 AM
When you see guys at Wal Mart and think about how you'd work them in the club.

DEFINITELY the name thing. I've heard a dad yell out, "Avery!", and I turned my head. He was just calling his daughter. :/

Every song reminds you of a certain girl and/or a certain club. Or actually makes you wish you were at work.

LoL, DEFINITELY thinking of terms of lap dances. 5 lap dances = cute outfit. :P

When you really have to put some thought into naming your daughter. Can't name her Angel because I worked with an Angel and she was a hooker....can't name her Destiny because I worked with one who could've been a man....etc, etc...(not that I've ever worked with girls with those names that fit those descriptions)

Definitely the dollar bill thing.

When I wake up with eyelashes on my cheek and extensions laying on my pillow because I was just too tired to take them off when I got home.

When each girl in your phone has 2 names.

CherryBomb954
06-05-2010, 04:57 PM
When each girl in your phone has 2 names.

HAHA! Yes! That's a good one. I put girl's names in my phone, real name first then their stage name in parentheses.

ViolaStrings
06-05-2010, 10:00 PM
When you really need to touch up your landing strip roots before you work again.

charlie61
06-05-2010, 10:01 PM
^ Haha! Hot!

JayATee
06-05-2010, 10:23 PM
- when you have rubberbands everywhere, you have rubberbands around your wrists and ankles throughout the day/week because you always forget to take them off the night before

-constantly being secretive and avoid ppl so they don't ask questions

-you answer your phone/text days,weeks, months later, that is if you respond at all

-you screen your phone calls, hesitate to answer phones by habit even if they're ppl you know

-your car is also your closet

-you overtip at restaurants and other places

-you scope out rich men at bars, clubs, parties etc. even though you know you're not working and not going to make money from hanging out

-when you will only go to drive thru banks wearing sun glasses and will drive far even if there is a closer walk in only bank

-think of what you're going to say when you know you're going to dinner, party or any social event where ppl will be talking, asking questions that will lead to "what do you do for a living?"

-when some asks to go out and they ask, what's you're schedule like? or when do you have off? you have to really think about it

-you're constantly making up excuses not to hang out with ppl

OMFG this is me. Every last bit of it!

sunshine16
06-06-2010, 01:04 AM
When you shove a drunk moron on his ass harder and faster than you ever thought possible because he tried to grab your ass on the floor of a normal dance club ..whoops. I fall into a lot of other catagories people mentioned also but..that one just happened tonight haha.

BarbieDancer88
06-06-2010, 02:09 PM
When you put perfume on you always spray your body and your kitty! Even if your not at work. Lol

pussyinboots
06-06-2010, 02:22 PM
The saleslady informs you that the "skirt" you asked to look at is actually a belt.


When you put perfume on you always spray your body and your kitty! Even if your not at work. Lol


You do both of these....and then you wear Black 6" mules to go to Church!

ViolaStrings
06-06-2010, 03:18 PM
^ Haha! Hot!

I dye my naturally light ash brown hair the most vibrant shade of orange-red that could ever be passed off as natural, and dye my landing strip (and eyebrows) to match just because I get so many "Do the carpets match the drapes" comments. I actually grew a landing strip to dye this reason, I used to shave it all off. Guys are so stupid they don't get that pubes can in fact be dyed. The landing strip is somehow undeniable "proof" that I'm a red! Guys LOVE my fire crotch.

charlie61
06-06-2010, 05:32 PM
^ Lol!! That's so awesome. Sounds like it'd take some serious upkeep though?

ViolaStrings
06-06-2010, 08:28 PM
^ eh, just 20 minutes once a week. Not too bad. I have to do my REAL roots every 3 weeks. I'm milking this "natural redhead" crapola for all it's worth. It's a great way to avoid tanning/self tanning maintenance.

Fawn
06-08-2010, 11:04 PM
When you're at an interview for a new job when you just need a break from dancing, and during the interview you run your hands through your hair to fix it, then they automatically go straight down to your boobs and squeeze, you continue talking for a bit before you realize. You get the job. (Happened to me last month)

When you own more lingerie, 6 inch or higher platform shoes, and thongs than you do jeans, t-shirts, and regular shoes.

When you see random girls on the street and think to yourself, "She'd do well in the club," or "The club would eat her alive."

solenia
06-09-2010, 12:42 PM
When you put perfume on you always spray your body and your kitty! Even if your not at work. Lol


luv this one....soooo true!!

miss1dancypants
06-21-2010, 12:52 PM
this is for private party dancers....


you are absolutely shocked to find out that someone has never used a double ended dildo!!



hahaha it happened to me the other day. i was talking to my friend about it and she was like "what do you mean" and i was completely shocked to hear she has never used one, or even seen one for that matter. all in a day's work, i guess! for a stripper at least.



another one is, you go to the bank every morning with hundreds of dollars in 1's and feel bad for the bank teller who has to count every single one of them...

**Sincerely**
06-22-2010, 10:24 AM
Lmao ladies this is funny i never ca$h in my one$ lol and ppl hate when i come in the stores with them

dtxgirl
06-24-2010, 09:52 PM
When you walk through 1st class on the plane and see floating dollar signs above the mens heads.......

Then you sit down and have to control yourself so you don't hustle the guy next to you on the plane.

When you can get random people at the airport to buy you dinner and booze waiting for your plane.

When you listen to random douchebags talk and have to resist the urge to smack them and tell them to stop wasting your time.

When you automatically want to rip the camera out of someone's hand and stomp on it... when you're in public.

When you go to a friend's party (who doesn't know you dance), they have a pole and you watch everyone fail miserably until you can't bear it, then frighten them with YO POLE SKILLZ.. And end up giving a lesson to everyone in the room.

Then make up some brilliant story about how you took classes for a while as to not out yourself. LOLZ!!!

When you have the balls to write corporate club management about shitty management in the club.

MsChaos
06-29-2010, 12:24 PM
When there's glitter latex stuck to the bottom of your shower/bathhtub.

MissEgo
06-29-2010, 09:36 PM
Reading all 26 pages has been THE BEST "waste" of my time EVER. Thank you ladies for giving me so many laughs!!

Candy-girl
07-10-2010, 02:30 PM
When you forget your real age because you always lie and say you're 3 years younger at the strip club. (I did this once, omg, it was the weirdest thing ever to seriously blank out at my own real age!!)

Leirad098
07-11-2010, 08:31 AM
When you carry hundred dollar bills in rubberbands even to the grocery store.

charlie61
07-11-2010, 03:52 PM
This thread is epic. I love.

femmefatale88
07-11-2010, 11:09 PM
when guys ask me out in real life, what is your name, i almost say T.... (my stage name) and have to pause for a second to remember my real name. also i wear heels that are too high for real life but not high enough for the strip club.

Miss_McKenna
07-12-2010, 09:44 PM
when.... friends that don't know you dance and think you're a homebody, start to question why the inside of your car is covered in glitter constantly.

A non-dancer friend calls you by your real name and your first thought is "shit, she said my real name in front of people!!" then remember you're not at the club right now.

(noticed this the other day and had a good laugh to myself) - You go to put in a tampon on a non-work day, and it feels like a luxury to not be cutting the string off ;D