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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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UwishUknewhy
08-25-2011, 02:13 PM
When you are out at a bar with friends getting toasty when you trip you use your tip toes to regain balance since your so used to doing this while at work in 7 inch platforms.

_Avery_
08-25-2011, 03:08 PM
When you can't get the smell of strip club outta your hair, your clothes, your bags...your house starts to smell like the damn club!

_Avery_
08-25-2011, 03:08 PM
Your car has back up supplies (an extra pair of shoes, a couple of outfits etc...)

Your significant other will pick up wipes and spray for you if he's at the store.

You have a dresser drawer dedicated to outfits and a hidden container in said drawer to put your money in.

You've paid large bills in ones. Or purchased a high ticket item in ones.

Retail establishments love you for giving them ones.

lol @ your signature...I'm gonna use that tonight!

cocobooty
08-27-2011, 07:03 AM
Lol you know you're a private party stripper when you go into the shops at 5pm with full makeup and hair, wearing uggs, buy whipped cream, raffle tickets, plastic shot glasses and baby oil, and ask if they can give you $50 cash out in 5's!! Me most weekends lol x

cocobooty
08-27-2011, 07:05 AM
... Or when you walk into a club with your friends on your one night off and your first instinct is to start hustling!

anouk.oui
09-05-2011, 06:00 AM
when you get given makeup and cosmetics gifts, you're double excited if they give you the receipt because then you will not only be given gifts, but also get a tax deduction! win!

mia_fey
09-05-2011, 07:39 AM
When you're out shopping or doing normal maintenence (nails, tanning, etc...) and you can spot other strippers. And try to play the mental game of which club they look like they belong to.

kitinboots
09-05-2011, 10:40 AM
When it feels very, very wrong to ever wear a thong/underwear that doesn't match your outfit.

Kalypso
09-09-2011, 08:53 AM
When you get mad at girls who grind in a regular nightclub for free.

Skai
09-09-2011, 03:30 PM
When you move your furniture, you find bills instead of coins.

sunshine16
09-10-2011, 01:09 AM
When you get mad at girls who grind in a regular nightclub for free.

Love this.

misskittylaminx
09-10-2011, 01:40 AM
LOFL @ Pixie! These are all SO true!



When out in public, you spot a fellow "incognito" dancer a MILE away!
"



This happens to me all the time!!!! I can always tell!!!

Bbvsla
09-13-2011, 08:02 PM
when you think of your next purchase in private dances.. like "oh, its just 3 half an hours and ill get it"..

Farrah_Golden
09-14-2011, 02:07 AM
Ooooh, this is fun!

When someone catches a wiff of smelly feet and you exclaim, "that's not foot funk! You should smell my heels!"

When you check out with baby wipes, hand sanitizer, body mist, faux lashes, mineral powder and a case of 5 hour energy drinks. Oh! And you have to run back because you forgot boyshorts and heel-style socks.

When the people at your local adult store know you by your stage name.

When you befriend the waitresses at your 24hour diner of choice, because you are byfar their best tipper.

When glittery lipgloss, nail polish and eyeshadow is acceptable for the first time since you were 12.

When you can do cartwheels and run long distances in 5 inch heels

When people give you odd looks due to your bruised up knees, you say "oh, that's nothing! Check out my vertibrae/ass/inner thighs!"

When you're AMAAAAZING in bed, if you weren't already...and then even moreso

When gigantic hair is classy

When hair extensions could never full you

When you chat with your hair dresser about the best blow dryer to extend your shoes

All of your heels have your name on them...even the ones you don't dance in

And, finally...

You know all of the words to "Pour Some Sugar on Me"

livefast
09-14-2011, 10:55 AM
You buy baby wipes in bulk and people ask about your kid (you don't have a kid).

msincredible01
09-14-2011, 09:51 PM
When you stop wearing underwear or bra's because it's one extra step on your day off

When you run out of scrunchies and put up your hair with (clean) stripper thongs because they're so gosh darn stretchy

Bend at the waist to pick up anything..anywhere.

when anything thats open 24 hours is your new fav store.

when you vacuum up a dollar because you're backs in too much pain to bend and pick it up..

when your perfume and body spray collection rivals any department store fragrance counter

luscious sadie
09-14-2011, 11:55 PM
when you vacuum up a dollar because you're backs in too much pain to bend and pick it up..


this is one of the funniest things I've ever read.

Farrah_Golden
09-15-2011, 03:03 AM
When you stop wearing underwear or bra's because it's one extra step on your day off

When you run out of scrunchies and put up your hair with (clean) stripper thongs because they're so gosh darn stretchy

Bend at the waist to pick up anything..anywhere.

when anything thats open 24 hours is your new fav store.

when you vacuum up a dollar because you're backs in too much pain to bend and pick it up..

when your perfume and body spray collection rivals any department store fragrance counter

I totally tie up my hair with garters! Never thought of a thong though..haha. I save every penny though, and dollar for that matter. Just cashed in my change jar and pulled an extra $50 out of my ass. Muahaha...ahem.

You know you're a stripper when $50 is chump change! And you know you're a damn good stripper at that

sweetheart18
09-16-2011, 05:58 AM
space out when people are talking and I hear a song in the background and I have an imaginary stripper doing tricks and putting a dance together in my head.. happens SO much

mariesgame
09-16-2011, 07:52 AM
Ooh, new one! You take your bra off before bed and you find your hands giving your boobs some weird massage like you're doing a dance. Hands off hands! :S

kitinboots
09-16-2011, 08:19 AM
When you're appartment hunting and the first thing you check is ceiling height to see if your pole will fit.

mariesgame
09-16-2011, 08:39 AM
When you're appartment hunting and the first thing you check is ceiling height to see if your pole will fit.


That is hilarious! Me and my best mate are looking for a flat to rent and we've said no to dozens instantly because there wasn't enough space to swing around a pole and watch tv :P

Lea21
09-16-2011, 12:22 PM
when you dont care about walking around naked at home and in front of company

luscious sadie
09-18-2011, 02:55 PM
"why did I buy a new powercord? I should have just gotten a new computer!"

charlie61
09-18-2011, 07:33 PM
Genius! This thread is genius!!!

luscious sadie
09-18-2011, 07:54 PM
Genius! This thread is genius!!!

hahah
<3

_natasha
09-19-2011, 03:26 AM
When you and your boyfriend has his wallet stolen in a foreign city, but since you used your dancer bag as a suitcase you still have notes stashed in the lining to keep you both going.

kitinboots
09-19-2011, 09:14 AM
"why did I buy a new powercord? I should have just gotten a new computer!"

This. My hard disk is dying and the hassle of getting a new one and having them switched makes me just want to buy a new one! I won't, but the temptation is there.
Also, being on holiday without my laptop at the beginning of the summer, I nearly just went and bought a netbook to amuse myself with until I got home.

Nihmy
09-23-2011, 01:56 AM
When you can use the toilet in front of 15 other girls no issue (damn why dressing rooms never have locking toilets!)

luscious sadie
10-15-2011, 08:07 PM
"hey baby, do you know where this bundle of 1000$ in 20s came from?? I just found it randomly in the closet!"

smeca
10-17-2011, 03:37 PM
you shower at the gym in full view of everyone rather than using
any of the available showers with doors.

ScarlettJanuary
10-17-2011, 03:48 PM
You talk about your vagina like it's no big deal...possibly even referring to it as your "pussy" in really inappropriate situations :-[

Flickdreams
10-24-2011, 03:46 AM
ha ha ha ^ ticking all the boxes here

kitinboots
10-24-2011, 05:20 AM
You clear out your wardrobe and have a bag of normal clothes for the charity shop, and a bag of stripper outfits that you're not sure what to do with.

Happy2BSpoiled
10-24-2011, 02:15 PM
Love the clearing out your closet! Been there, done that!

You don't know how to explain the hundred bottles of Dom and Crystal in your coat closet.

You wonder if it would be rude to ask your nanny to have a spa tub ready for you when you get home to put your feet in.

You have a girlfriend from work spend the night, pajama party, and she hits on you.

(For the older strippers) You got drunk and passed out in the tanning bed and just kept turning it back on after your time was up because you didn't want to lay on the ground.

kikidejavu
10-31-2011, 12:27 AM
when u refuse to buy a $5 footlong because it's too expensive, but have no problem buying $50 worth of mac, a $150 gown, and $300 hair extensions!

Geneva123
10-31-2011, 11:48 PM
When you avoid alcohol on your days OFF, just to give your system a break..

SouthernButterfly
11-01-2011, 02:44 AM
*~When you have to stop yourself and think of your name before introducing yourself to your mother in law's friends.

*~ You're sitting in a comfy chair, watching Dr Phil, and munching on fishsticks and french fries you just baked.... At 4am.

*~ Your dancing shoes are so worn in, they're the most comfortable pair of heels you own.

*~ Someone says your stage name and you automatically turn around.

*~ When someone who doesn't know you dance, asks what what you do, you respond automatically because you have your cover story down pat.

*~ Same as above for non in the know family and friends who ask about your bruises.

*~ You think about going to amateur night at a different local strip club just to show up the drunken college chicks and maybe win some extra cash.

*~ You find yourself discussing the merits of pole dancing for fitness purposes and praising the girls who do the professional pole dancing contests as "Amazing Atheletes".

*~ You and and your husband burst into laughter much to the confusion of everyone around you when either "Titty Dancer" by the Dan guy or "Next Contestant" by Nickelback comes on the radio.

*~ You get annoyed when someone talks about dancers in the typical stereotypical way and then proceed to put them in their place while doing your best not to blow your cover.

*~ You want to slap any new girl who you see anywhere NEAR baby oil or lotion in the dressing room.

*~ You keep snacks in your locker and share.

*~ You've ever gotten the "Weird" look when paying for things in one dollar bills.

*~ The night staff at the gas station on your way home greets you by name.

*~ Your find yourself saying "Yeah, it doesn't work like that." When you see strip club scenes in movies or on TV. Then proceed to explain why.

*~ You refer to telling someone you dance as "Coming out of the stripper closet."

anouk.oui
11-01-2011, 03:16 AM
when you have a life drawing class in college :

-and wonder if the model is anyone you know [and would they remember to just call you babe or pretend you never met]

-and you casually engage in conversation with the naked model and disregard everyone else who is blushing or giggling as immature or unprofessional.

-and you wonder if you should reccomend her your club [if shes hot] or suggest good places to get boobs [not so much]



yepp this was today.......

aussiebelle
11-01-2011, 04:44 AM
^ Love this!

You know you're a stripper when you're more comfortable with being nude than having clothes on. Since I've been living by myself I spend most of the time around the house in just undies or undies, a blanket and ugg boots when it's cold.

When you've seen all your colleagues naked.

When talking to your manager naked is just another day in the office and completely appropriate.

Sometimes when making out with my bf I do stripper pose-y moves (like rubbing my own boobs) until I realise I'm posing and snap out of it

anouk.oui
11-01-2011, 05:08 AM
^ i too think i achieved a whole new level of friendship once i have seen my friends naked. kinda like adding someone to facebook for the first time...

Cammi
11-01-2011, 05:39 AM
...guys on your Twitter feed buy you shoes for no reason :D

kikidejavu
11-01-2011, 08:20 PM
-when a whiff of VS lovespell makes you nauseous cause you smell it every.single.fucking.night. *ugh*

lokikola
11-02-2011, 07:00 PM
When you talk about the sex industry more than anyone else in your social environment class.

melb_oz_n00b
11-03-2011, 02:50 PM
when u refuse to buy a $5 footlong because it's too expensive, but have no problem buying $50 worth of mac, a $150 gown, and $300 hair extensions!

This is so me! I have become stingier in general since I've started stripping. I barely ever buy nice clothes or expensive food outside of work. But I'll spend big on work stuff. I justify it by telling myself that it will pay for itself. But sometimes it's a bit excessive.

For example lately I've noticed I haven't been double checking the price over the phone when booking a haircut or massage. I just look up the nicest place in my city, then book it. Then on the day when I'm figuring out how much cash to take with me, I check the website and realise that it's actually quite exxy and I can't believe I so nonchalantly booked it. I've become one of those 'If you have to ask the price, you probably can't afford it' types. Haha. But I see hair maintenance and massage etc as being related to better earnings. So I don't think twice about splashing out on them.

ScarlettJanuary
11-03-2011, 03:48 PM
Sometimes when making out with my bf I do stripper pose-y moves (like rubbing my own boobs) until I realise I'm posing and snap out of it

Oh my god, YES!

luscious sadie
11-04-2011, 02:03 AM
you impulse buy things because your boyfriend's exgirlfriend is blasting them on twitter. OHHH... who buys the "Forever Lazy"? I do, bitch.

(now I have a forever lazy coming to my house and don't really know what to do)

ayekatrina
11-04-2011, 04:01 AM
when you strut around naked, checking yourself out in the gym locker room mirrors because you are so use to strip club locker rooms.

anouk.oui
11-07-2011, 05:46 AM
you wish you could walk around at home as freely as you do between the DR and the bathroom but you live with your folks....

dianadixon
11-07-2011, 08:04 AM
you impulse buy things because your boyfriend's exgirlfriend is blasting them on twitter. OHHH... who buys the "Forever Lazy"? I do, bitch.

(now I have a forever lazy coming to my house and don't really know what to do)


Didn't know what that was until I Googled after your post... OMG I really want to be someone who buys a Forever Lazy now. That would be SO COMFY after a long, hard night of work in the dead of winter.